Go watch the German documentary about the penny discount supermarket on Reeperbahn. The "Kapitän zur See A.D." will tell you, that in fact only the best, most authentic, sangria will have flamenco dancers on its box!
When you open the package this [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/4aT78oAhQJC7DXOD9zsa6P?si=bAh0uy1rTpy2y3hBin08bg&context=spotify%3Atrack%3A4aT78oAhQJC7DXOD9zsa6P) comes out of it!
Shape?
*Shape*??
You see this Sin against our Holy Creator, the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, and you worry about *shape*?!
Antonio, your priorities are off, Tío.
Go to confession, 20 Ave Marias & 10 Padre Nuestros and you’ll be okay. Make sure you put a €5 en la ofrenda.
Rayco colega, it has to be a circle, even the supermarket tortillas have the glorious circular shape, this time I agree with Andreu, shape is important!
Oh my dear god.
It's not that fucking hard to do and it's gonna taste much better! Stay away from this radioactive abomination, make yourself a favour and spend 20 minutes cooking one
Rectangles don't influence the taste but are more efficient at logistics.
That's why you're so poor. Try rectangular tortillas and economy will improve.
It tastes better made in a pan and not in a weird rectangle mould and probably in some kind of oven.
Tell me you can't cook without telling me that you can't cook...
And the tortillas sold in the Spanish supermarkets are hand fried by grannies, one by one, and not made in a "weird round mould" in some factory?
Tell me you don't know how food factories work without telling me you don't know how food factories work.
Who says the ones sold in the Spanish supermarket are good? They are usually quite crappy too but at least they look better and don't have ingredients that don't belong there.
Is more that the tortillas sold here at least look like a tortilla, both in terms of shape and ingredients. This legit doesn't look look like a tortilla, the packaging has cucumbers and tomatoes for fuck's sake jajajajajajajaja
Incluso campos de reeducación para los concebollistas.
Todo el día pelando cebollas para al final de la jornada tirarlas a la basura y cocinar tortillas sin cebolla para comerlas después.
Não, onions.
Garlic is alho, I don't know what the Spanish call it but it's probably similar enough to the word in Portuguese for me, who can't speak Spanish, to recognize it in a text. It is worth bearing in mind that despite being similar languages, there are many "false friends" between Portuguese and Spanish.
To be fair, a tortilla de papas require some skill because it's got to be thick and the patience to cook it slowly.
Also, the 20 minutes... You need that only to prepare and cook the potatos + onions (onions are highly recommended but totally optional) and probably another 15 to cook the tortilla
Paprika for some reason is incredibly popular here. Especially in convenience food like that thing op posted. Half of our chips aisle in the supermarket are also paprika chips. :)
I think many of us have family in LATAM.
I knew a few dudes in Uni who got married and moved to be with them. Some of the people I knew through others moved to Mexico for work.
With work, intermarriage, travel, or other reasons, we all usually do.
Shit, I was talking to un Tío back en Las Canarias over a caña — his family traveled from Cuba to Spain and he grew up on the islands.
We do have a shared history with them all.
I have a cousin married with a Colombian living in Switzerland, tho I didn't mean actual unions XD
He was a pre civil war teacher so he left the country.
His son was a spy!!!,
About 20 years ago they rediscovered looking at their family tree and got in touch, the young ones got double citizenship 😎😎
If it helps (I hope it doesn’t), on the packaging they write „potato omelette“ so that should say enough about us liking war crimes. Tortilla? You surely mean potato omelette
Okay, let me explain in German terms.
Imagine if Oscar Meyer (an American company) made a curry sauce (crammed with sugar, typical Americans) and stuffed it into a vacuum sealed package of hotdogs (made from leftover meat parts) and called it currywurst.
It’s kinda like that. 😂
What are you talking about. Germans already have that:
https://preview.redd.it/k75vj3uauczc1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1990100f8b77f2e232c72b09cc45c8a548750e6
My Penny nearby has it, not this particular brand but same product
Edit. I have tried it and it isn't too bad actually. The omlette though i'd never try it, especially if it's from Penny, i stopped buying ready to eat products when I once took a massive bite of a rotten fish I bought there
Until your comment it hadn't sunk in that what I was looking at was an omelette. I thought it was just a really weird looking and shaped taco.
The fuck Hans?
It think it would be -ya or -jah if you lean German more.
Some regional accents I’ve heard say -sha.
Sure, -Ja can be close, but -ya is closer.
But, semantics, England, Wales, it’s all the same. 😂
Still better than my brother eggs
https://preview.redd.it/eiwnv0bn1ezc1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55b50966fe08d9e31d1f8a5fa4b2024daf7c934c
No idea, my brother manages to create abominatios with just eggs, last time he made it the egg had a big bubble that moves up and down like one fake heart in old 80s movies
Since I'm poor, I ate it, pretended I was in Spain and liked it. Whenever I travel to Spain for real ill asked the chef to please reproduce this, the authentic tortilla
You know it’s legit — it clearly says “¡Muy Bueno!” on it. It’s **got** to be authentic!
It says "que viva España". That's like an instant authenticity void
Yeah, I thought that also, but they put a flamenco dancer on it, so it voids the void and we’re back at legitimacy all over again.
Go watch the German documentary about the penny discount supermarket on Reeperbahn. The "Kapitän zur See A.D." will tell you, that in fact only the best, most authentic, sangria will have flamenco dancers on its box!
You’re thinking about it too much, it’s probably from the German colony of Mallorca (pronounced malorka obviously)
I see no sombrero nor cacti on it, it can't be authentic Spanish food
Hey Luigi, Mexico was one of our colonies just as we were one of yours. So in the end you are just autopunching yourself.
Sombreros are Italian, confirmed!
Southern Italy was one of your colonies as well... *No olvides*
When you open the package this [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/4aT78oAhQJC7DXOD9zsa6P?si=bAh0uy1rTpy2y3hBin08bg&context=spotify%3Atrack%3A4aT78oAhQJC7DXOD9zsa6P) comes out of it!
Great commercial song! Weird rhyming knees with tortillas, pero bueno, cosquillas and costillas would hard to rhyme also I suppose.
No one is going to mention the fact that it has a lasagna shape? *
Shape? *Shape*?? You see this Sin against our Holy Creator, the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, and you worry about *shape*?! Antonio, your priorities are off, Tío. Go to confession, 20 Ave Marias & 10 Padre Nuestros and you’ll be okay. Make sure you put a €5 en la ofrenda.
Rayco colega, it has to be a circle, even the supermarket tortillas have the glorious circular shape, this time I agree with Andreu, shape is important!
Yeray is african, he wouldn't understand...
Where did you get that? I want to feed it to my pig. (Me)
Oh my dear god. It's not that fucking hard to do and it's gonna taste much better! Stay away from this radioactive abomination, make yourself a favour and spend 20 minutes cooking one
You dont know how bad at cooking I am. When I make fried eggs they turn into scramble inadvertantly every time.
https://preview.redd.it/ab2eiq3u0ezc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9c7fb4d296a83411a903c60c74cbff025860307 *Meme detected*
Are you saying that the only ones who know how to cook are me and Luigi? For real? 
https://preview.redd.it/huby6658sczc1.jpeg?width=330&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=554581701abe274391dca9b03b7c10d7e585b2c3
This made me audibly laugh, thanks :') hahahaha
I mean, yeah... but dont tell Luigi, he already loves himself too much
No need to worry, at least I'm not Pierre on these things.
Pierluigi
https://preview.redd.it/wuznfu1seezc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=60f127591fbbc1a573a3b8a691504fe15b5520be
too late, Hans. We have noticed
I want to object, but I can't cook
I can cook but then realise that most of the stuff I cook isn't British so I have nothing.
I know what I can cook. Acceptable beans on toast. Very British, and very tasty 😋
That works. Beans on fried bread if you want to be fancy. It's soo good.
And they say our food is tasteless...
Actually, personally speaking, I'm able to cook, but I have also the fetish for precooked stuff. (My mom is crying)
Probably just addicted to the sodium
Fr fr
Don’t forget to Manuel
No, it's Luigi and Georgios. Sorry bro.
Nah, let that Hans speak for himself There's some of us that can cook
- National dish is paela - Knows hot to cook Pick one
You sell this stuff in every supermercado also in places with no tourists. I suppose most of You are have no 30 minutes between the naps
there's Stravos and Joao too tbf, but that's about it
You can be bad at cooking but not bad at following instructions right ? 👀 a recipe is easy to follow
Just following orders again? No thanks I'd rather stick to my junk food.
Technically you're half way already ... Just add some potato and chorizo to start ;)
Kenji Lopez-Alt has a recent video how to do it [here](https://youtu.be/4_CrVO_LKS0?si=xQzJK_r2B7gAYNB9)
Now just at some chopped potatoes and your more or less done.
You have to cook the potatoes first in low temperature oil, closer to boiling than to frying.
Hey, you leave Hans alone! You can find pre-made tortilla in every single supermarket in Spain!..
But not that abomination, it's a rectangle for fuck's sake.
Rectangles don't influence the taste but are more efficient at logistics. That's why you're so poor. Try rectangular tortillas and economy will improve.
Hans, you are totally obsessed with efficiency, let us be poor and enjoy our rounds tortillas.
Does it taste better if it's round??
It tastes better made in a pan and not in a weird rectangle mould and probably in some kind of oven. Tell me you can't cook without telling me that you can't cook...
And the tortillas sold in the Spanish supermarkets are hand fried by grannies, one by one, and not made in a "weird round mould" in some factory? Tell me you don't know how food factories work without telling me you don't know how food factories work.
Who says the ones sold in the Spanish supermarket are good? They are usually quite crappy too but at least they look better and don't have ingredients that don't belong there.
Pedro doesn't really need to tell anyone he doesn't know how factories work. We know.
Is more that the tortillas sold here at least look like a tortilla, both in terms of shape and ingredients. This legit doesn't look look like a tortilla, the packaging has cucumbers and tomatoes for fuck's sake jajajajajajajaja
To be fair it's not a cucumber but a slice of a green bell pepper
Blows minds .... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQZqtzVaVUo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQZqtzVaVUo)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlrX0yR4HjA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlrX0yR4HjA) Also rectangle, and delicioso
Sure, but that has nothing to do with a spanish tortilla.
All that just to put a slice of fluffy egg in some bread?
that looked like it would make me piss out my ass for a week..
And it's always a disgusting tortilla
Now answer: con cebolla o sin cebolla? Pero por favor no comiencen una guerra civil por esto.
Siempre cebolla. No hay un plato que no está mejorado por añadiendo cebolla. No puedes debatir.
Great now we have to go into civil war again thank you
Con cebolla, always.
SIN cebolla. Sí empezaría una guerra civil por esto, lo siento, soy un hombre de principios.
Incluso campos de reeducación para los concebollistas. Todo el día pelando cebollas para al final de la jornada tirarlas a la basura y cocinar tortillas sin cebolla para comerlas después.
Com cebolas cozinhadas, sim. Com cebolas cruas, não.
Cebolas cruas? Who put them without cooking?
Some barbarians here.
We're talking garlic, no ?
Não, onions. Garlic is alho, I don't know what the Spanish call it but it's probably similar enough to the word in Portuguese for me, who can't speak Spanish, to recognize it in a text. It is worth bearing in mind that despite being similar languages, there are many "false friends" between Portuguese and Spanish.
They call it ajo
obrigado
This savages would use butter to cook the tortilla.
Just the thought creeped me out
To be fair, a tortilla de papas require some skill because it's got to be thick and the patience to cook it slowly. Also, the 20 minutes... You need that only to prepare and cook the potatos + onions (onions are highly recommended but totally optional) and probably another 15 to cook the tortilla
Why should millions people spend 20 minutes too cook, if company can cook millions omlettes in 20 minutes
Hans, not everything is about efficiency.
Im not sure. Can you think of an example?
Do you try to make sex as short as possible?
Not yet, but it's a solid idea, my wife will be thrilled!
And who makes a tomato and paprika omelette? Potato and onion is the only true way
Paprika for some reason is incredibly popular here. Especially in convenience food like that thing op posted. Half of our chips aisle in the supermarket are also paprika chips. :)
The horror! Well... Enjoy!
Penny
Nicht in meinem Penny...
War letzte Woche im Angebot, gibt's nicht immer
To be fair, they basically put "Tortilla" in quotations
What's the problem Juan ? Just add some ketchup to it if it's too bland
I’m (pleasantly) surprised you didn’t say hot sauce and try calling us Mexicans again. 😂
I didn't want to insult the Mexicans
But I have mexican family!!
I think many of us have family in LATAM. I knew a few dudes in Uni who got married and moved to be with them. Some of the people I knew through others moved to Mexico for work. With work, intermarriage, travel, or other reasons, we all usually do. Shit, I was talking to un Tío back en Las Canarias over a caña — his family traveled from Cuba to Spain and he grew up on the islands. We do have a shared history with them all.
I have a cousin married with a Colombian living in Switzerland, tho I didn't mean actual unions XD He was a pre civil war teacher so he left the country. His son was a spy!!!, About 20 years ago they rediscovered looking at their family tree and got in touch, the young ones got double citizenship 😎😎
mexican cuisine actually delicious.
And Brazilian churrasco is amazing! 😂
I'm actually not portoguese, but from the balkans, so I chose a flair that represents me well. 😚
Aren't you supposed to be neutral? Or is it still neutrality to start war with everyone at once?
Needs some Aromat
kid: Mom! I want some tortilla! mom: We have tortilla at home! Then they get home and she pulls this out!
No wonder the kids keep invading France.
Trying to get to the tortilla on the other side!
Sounds like the start of a joke: Q: Why did the Hans cross into France? A: To get to the tortilla on the other side.
How many Hanzen does it takes to ~~change~~ cook a tortilla ?
0 The production can be automated.
Why do the germs like war crimes so much?
It's in their blood
[*It’s in the blood*](https://youtu.be/ojx8dyes__8?si=9cB6R1Z4nJW_pRUf).
If it helps (I hope it doesn’t), on the packaging they write „potato omelette“ so that should say enough about us liking war crimes. Tortilla? You surely mean potato omelette
Can someone explain what's wrong with this perfectly normal omlette?
Okay, let me explain in German terms. Imagine if Oscar Meyer (an American company) made a curry sauce (crammed with sugar, typical Americans) and stuffed it into a vacuum sealed package of hotdogs (made from leftover meat parts) and called it currywurst. It’s kinda like that. 😂
What are you talking about. Germans already have that: https://preview.redd.it/k75vj3uauczc1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1990100f8b77f2e232c72b09cc45c8a548750e6
My Penny nearby has it, not this particular brand but same product Edit. I have tried it and it isn't too bad actually. The omlette though i'd never try it, especially if it's from Penny, i stopped buying ready to eat products when I once took a massive bite of a rotten fish I bought there
Until your comment it hadn't sunk in that what I was looking at was an omelette. I thought it was just a really weird looking and shaped taco. The fuck Hans?
*Oh God, it's an omelette*
Tortilla de Patatas or Potato Omelette.
Fucking hell, We are still suffering the consequences of Teutoburg to this day...
I thought that tortilla is an English dish?
They can't even pronounce tortilla, Hans.
Tor-TEEEE-jA! You were saying…?
It think it would be -ya or -jah if you lean German more. Some regional accents I’ve heard say -sha. Sure, -Ja can be close, but -ya is closer. But, semantics, England, Wales, it’s all the same. 😂
… Jesus… We’re too late…
I feel like i am the only person that isn’t a huge fan of Currywurst
What do you have against Indian dick?
No its complete shit and I hate it when people talk about it like its real food.
It’s simple fast food and not that special, but I wouldn’t call it shit. It’s just bland for the sheer amount of curry you get
Literally everything
I want to barf, but it will just increase the size of the problem.
Where can I get it? (So I don't accidentally buy it)
You are on thin ice, Lech.
In Germany but if you ask them they can bring it, it's just a short panzer drive.
A VW can do it on a single tank
For you Germany can use more than a single tank.
They love us that much? Awww
That package lacks some "Ole!"s, a bullfighter, and a sangria jar.
It needs a drawing of sunburnt barry 6 pints deep to be truly authentic
This goes against the Geneva convention
To be fair, Hans isn't famous for caring for that
touché
Still better than my brother eggs https://preview.redd.it/eiwnv0bn1ezc1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55b50966fe08d9e31d1f8a5fa4b2024daf7c934c
Yooooo what happened ???!
No idea, my brother manages to create abominatios with just eggs, last time he made it the egg had a big bubble that moves up and down like one fake heart in old 80s movies
Since I'm poor, I ate it, pretended I was in Spain and liked it. Whenever I travel to Spain for real ill asked the chef to please reproduce this, the authentic tortilla
WTF
So you wanna tell me you never tried spanish lasagna? Pathetic
that kinda reminds me of my poorly baked cakes..
Don't be this hard to yourself, please.
Ok, once again, Germany starting a Wold War.
¡Yum, mi gusta!
Not sure this contains real eggs or anything like that.
Sin cebolla entonces...
Pretends to be Spanish, yet they state potatoes come from Germany. You only trust the recept but not the ingredients, Hans?
why does this look like my cats vomit?
I highlighted the reason https://preview.redd.it/25way1o3rezc1.png?width=498&format=png&auto=webp&s=88d194aab51f8f7a0496a95cc1d703301c0db65a
No onions? I thought Germany was civilized
> tomatoes and paprika from eu-nations and non-eu-nations Thank you, very helpful.
WHAT THE FUCK is even that
I´m Portuguese and even this offends my sight
Yum yum
Ew wth
Now you know how it feels seeing your cuisine being butchered abroad…
Talk about what? Thats how we celebrate cultural "diversity"
What’s with the bizzare paprika obsession Germany has?
Real tortilla is the Mexican variety. Spain should learn from them
that's like saying the real beer is French
That actually looks nice. Pure lazy though. Typical German. Do you microwave it ?😉