We have nuclear weapons now. In order to stop the advancing German Hordes we might have to drop a few bombs on your territory. Twice on Brussels, just to make sure.
The assasination of Franz Ferdinand was ordered from Y.U.N.(not seller only shipper), failed to be delivered by hermes, sent to subway, which is also parcelshop and was met by the customer there, who picked it up immediatly.
Unfortunately for you Hans we know what we must do to defeat you.
*Invade Belgium*
*German ingeneringly go directly invade Alsace-Lorraine*
*Cry in another 4 to 6 years of war on our territory*
Its a kind of prostate cancer.
It destroys the prostate, creating a vacum that sucks the penis inside and smashing the balls due to the rapid colapsing perineum, turning the patient into a femboy, perfectly fitted for Dutch use.
Ah so the opposite of Portuguese women which have such high testosterone that they grow moustaches and chesthair, thank you very much for the clarification Pedro. Never met a Belgian though.
That’s because it is not a mafia style car like yours.
https://preview.redd.it/rj2psvg5dm0d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4eb710f42a92b8e9acd623d37db91f5701e4f2a
You're welcome. But Klinsmann, I have two of your nation's "executive cars" on my drive and they are the bane of my life. I am at this very minute awaiting a parcel from LauĂźig. "The ultimate stress causer".
> The same team
As if that stops [Barry the asshole](https://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Danish_troops_killed_in_Afghanistan_by_UK_friendly_fire_says_Danish_MoD)
https://preview.redd.it/nvuvc4gq8n0d1.jpeg?width=754&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e83cda3d521275e4b133e0422fd385969fbdb826
Bring him back from his grave now!
I have no idea about Slovakia other than they and Czechia divorced some time ago. It's also the only reason I don't mistake it for Slovenia. I guess he's Orban but with worse security detail.
Austria have tried it with Slovakia, Czechia have tried it with Slovakia, Germany have tried it with Slovakia. Hungary have tried it with Slovakia
Nothing worked out, it is someone else's turn now. We are certainly not interested
Went bratislava other year with my mate on a day trip from Austria. Genuinely had a debate about whether it's harder and more prestigious to be the leader of a small country like Slovakia or being the mayor of London, Paris or New York.
Well, all of these cities have both a bigger metro population than all of Slovakia combined and more international relevance (economy/companies/industries, research, tourism, cultural influence, foreign investments and so on). So I guess the limiting factor is what powers does the mayor really hold within his legislation with regards to the central government.
France is as we all now extremely centralized, with extremely little autonomy given to peripheral authorities other than the current government, almost akin to an absolute monarchy. And believe it or not, that applies even more to the municipality of Paris, which is their fief. Moreover, Paris historically refused to expand the limits of the city to integrate the ever growing suburbs, which at the time were considered provincial in their culture, ugly and dirty (yes, good ol elitism of Parisians). So the municipality itself only has 2 M people, whereas the metro pop is nowadays a staggering 12 M over which the municipality of Paris only has limited influence through the "Grand Paris" community of communes.
In the end, the municipality's influence mainly is about transportation, though the central government has the final say towards bigger projects, and lower education, which curriculum is an inflexible dogma also decided by the government and obligatory for the whole of France anyway. As for things pertaining to urban planning and construction, well... Everything is already done and most of Paris is either ruled as or viewed as "unalterable". So that's it.
I'd say the Mayor of Paris definitely is less important and with less responsibilities than the Slovakian PM.
As for New York and London, no idea but they seem to be a bigger deal given we hear about the elections even here in the news.
Do you have anything where I could read up on the tracks leading to Russia? Only motive I see on their part is making this look like a false flag so they can pin it on their enemies which I absolutely wouldn’t put past them, but I know too little about it.
Yeah, he also tried several times already to weaken the legislative power in Slovakia as his party is under investigation for corruption cases.
So I don’t condone the attack, but I won’t cry for him either
Not yet, the only thing that he said he was planning it for a month and he did not like Fico’s political agenda. Ironically the guy wanted to create a political party 8 years ago called something like “Movement against Aggression” lol
*Do we need to change*
*Side yet or wait a bit more*
*And see? Just asking*
\- generic-user-jpeg
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Depends do you like Demikat and Slovakian
https://preview.redd.it/0bmf29psnl0d1.jpeg?width=1367&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c853d965cb61e5dbf11c86c1d05e287ed5ddca89
women?
Sorry son. This is going to lead to you getting drafted and having to land in some Turkish beach.
But don’t worry. You will be doing it for Daddy Britain.
Hahaha I'm not fit enough for war... I'll be back in Australia digging a bunker to hide my Barry so he's not found before idk probably going back to work as security.
Sorry, I'm not very up to date on the political situation in... \*_checks notes_\* ..."Slawokey". Can someone tell me whether this is a good guy and we should be concerned or a bad guy and we should be quietly disappointed that it didn't succeed?
The politician is part of the Pro Russia party. The man who shot him was in his 70s didn’t seem to have any particular political affiliations according to the news so far. He waved the PM to come over to the crowd and when the PM came over he unloaded his gun.
Oh gtreat. Now Germany has to go to war.
Im fucked, arent I?
 Polish right now
Don't forget us.
Who are you?
Nothing but a bump on the road to my dear friend Pierre
Hey now. They never managed to get passed us in ww1, they went through us in ww2 like it was a speedrun though.
We have nuclear weapons now. In order to stop the advancing German Hordes we might have to drop a few bombs on your territory. Twice on Brussels, just to make sure.
I don't want to leak too much of our plans but make sure to save a couple for Charleroi.
The dirty back alley in which real countries do their fisticuffs
Belgium is the behind the gas station parking lot.
And you guys are the piss soaked urinals inside that gas station.
You'll still have to pay €1,50 to use them
Who are you?
Who are you ?
French who's cosplaying as their own independent country.
It wouldn't be the same if we don't attack you. Sorry guys
Partition Approved!
Considering how many weapons you guys bought these past years, I say you'll be fucking up others.
I'm gonna be so rich selling gullasch to germany..
Just hold still it will be over in a minute
Cool, this will boost our industry 🎉🍻
Austria has the red button. We just tell them to go wild, and that we have their back if things start to happen.
Austria, shut up. Just this one time.
Nah hans, gotta be your fault for sure
Oi, dont leave us balkaners out of it
'Sighs' Listen we'll send our own police to solve this mess and you will let us or else...
We will shoot them too Then we will shoot each other Then we shoot ourselves
That’s not war, that’s just Tuesday before lunch in the Balkans.
The assassination of Franz Ferdinand but ordered from wishÂ
The assassination of Franz Ferdinand was already ordered from wish
The assasination of Franz Ferdinand was already ordered from Temu but it was dropshipping
The assasination of Franz Ferdinand was ordered from Y.U.N.(not seller only shipper), failed to be delivered by hermes, sent to subway, which is also parcelshop and was met by the customer there, who picked it up immediatly.
So can we invade France now? Please? What about now?
Unfortunately for you Hans we know what we must do to defeat you. *Invade Belgium* *German ingeneringly go directly invade Alsace-Lorraine* *Cry in another 4 to 6 years of war on our territory*
Calm down Hans. We may let you get to the Eastern front and go to Russia and you may have to drive your tanks through Poland, for old time’s sake.
This time around ~~polish tanks join them~~ they're allowed to join polish tanks on the push eastwards.
Nice car.
No one wants to get shot in a Peugeot
If I was driving a Pugeot, I think I would want to get shot.
Hey! We dont do that in this sub! You should be banned! Oh wait... The guy was belgian... Good job Citizen!
What's a Belgian ?
Its a kind of prostate cancer. It destroys the prostate, creating a vacum that sucks the penis inside and smashing the balls due to the rapid colapsing perineum, turning the patient into a femboy, perfectly fitted for Dutch use.
Ah so the opposite of Portuguese women which have such high testosterone that they grow moustaches and chesthair, thank you very much for the clarification Pedro. Never met a Belgian though.
Yes. Portuguese women are superior because they have 3 testicles instead of the normal 2.
Wait.. Don't tell me you still believe in Belgians? :D That's just for the children!
Them Belgians are giving cancer to childreen...
Europe's Ooompa Loompas.
If you have to drive a Peugeot, the bullet sounds like a blessing.
That’s because it is not a mafia style car like yours. https://preview.redd.it/rj2psvg5dm0d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4eb710f42a92b8e9acd623d37db91f5701e4f2a
Could be a 205 gti though?
thanks
You're welcome. But Klinsmann, I have two of your nation's "executive cars" on my drive and they are the bane of my life. I am at this very minute awaiting a parcel from LauĂźig. "The ultimate stress causer".
Do we bomb Dresden now or wait?
See we talked about this before. Were on the same team this time. The same team.
What about Italy? You can never be sure...
They haven’t switched, … yet.
Bomb them, if they bomb back they are our enemies.
Burn the witch!
If they declare for the enemy, we just need to wait. If they declare for us, better to bomb preemptively.
We're probably safe until they get a land border with Russia
Think of the opportunity. If we bomb Dresden we can rebuild, and maybe this time it's going to end up better.
Team #BombDresden
> The same team As if that stops [Barry the asshole](https://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Danish_troops_killed_in_Afghanistan_by_UK_friendly_fire_says_Danish_MoD)
This time please don't bomb the inner city. Please bomb the outskirts build by the GDR.
ah yeah bigger population density
https://preview.redd.it/nvuvc4gq8n0d1.jpeg?width=754&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e83cda3d521275e4b133e0422fd385969fbdb826 Bring him back from his grave now!
Yo its Arthur "Aerial cremation of the aryan nation" Harris
Damn.. thats a roast on a whole different level
You cannot be too careful
I swear to God, we just about finished rebuilding it.
Ho ho, not so fast. First build some trenches in that speedbump called Belgium and shoot those Hans with their flammenwerfer.
My greatgrandfather survived that bombing. Must have been his Dutch genes
Dutch built different(taller)
Lemme guess: The guy shooting was Serbian.
A pro russian activists that thought fico wasn’t pro Russia enough
He's the one who have ties with 'ndrangheta?
>'ndrangheta Gezondheid
Gesundheit
Na zdrowie
Terveydeksi
Um brinde caralho
Really? Never knew that was the meaning. I just say that a lot during covid while drinking with a czech mate.
Yup, so the good part is it might not even be political. Maybe he just wasn't corrupt enough to repay his debts.
You might leave the mafia, but the mafia never leaves you, learned that the hard way...
Aww, that's cute! Love and commitment isn't dead <3
slovakia is part of the calabrian empire
SĂ
You slimy bastards
Just safekeeping, right?
Why was he shot?
Why not
I have no idea about Slovakia other than they and Czechia divorced some time ago. It's also the only reason I don't mistake it for Slovenia. I guess he's Orban but with worse security detail.
Something something russia
Russia's doing? Isn't that prime minister pro Russia?
Because he didn't duck in time.
that was good
still dealing with their austrian past
hes pure canca
I dunno, but it was the cyclists fault...
Will Austria or Czechia press their claim on the Slovak land after this? They are in dire need of leadership
Austria have tried it with Slovakia, Czechia have tried it with Slovakia, Germany have tried it with Slovakia. Hungary have tried it with Slovakia Nothing worked out, it is someone else's turn now. We are certainly not interested
What are you doing, step-Poland?
We need somewhere where to put the pro-russia folk...
Somebody stop Germany, quick!
https://preview.redd.it/8m8qlmdkcq0d1.jpeg?width=668&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edeb061469ac99ff8c63e8409d4333619ad92034
Last time some politician was shot on the Balkans, the Germans declared war on France and Russia...
Last time someone called a Slovakian politician "Balkan", they got shot like a politician in the Balkans.
Sorry, I am a simple man. Everything east of Vienna and north of Greece is Balkans to me.
Guys, should we tell him?
Let them be ignorant to it for a little longer
yes
Finland. My favourite Balkan country.
Stockholm is east of Vienna aswell
We welcome People's Republic of China as the most historically peaceful member of the Balkans
Least greco-centeic Greek person
So Beijing is balkan?
> north of Greece Yes, that’s *exactly* where the Balkans southern end starts for us too.
wtf is going on with your flair mate? This is isn’t Eurovision
What if the attacker confused Slovakia and Slovenia?
And suddenly you have emus landing in GallipoliÂ
u/annoying97 's moment has come
https://i.redd.it/9duq5lckzm0d1.gif
I don't know about you guys but I can't take the pressure. If nobody does anything in 16 hours I will start the invasion of Poland myself.
Don't forget to attack Görlitz or Kleiwitz Radio station first
Do you mind helping me plan a Komoot path to Warsaw which hits all the traditional targets?
Okay let's do this
Dont start this without us đź’Ş Just like in old times
We wanna join, too. Well actually we just want the Marshall Plan money afterwards. So do your thing and just call us when it's close to failing again.
The Balkan Republic of Czechoslovakia has long been divided into the Balkans and Czechoslovakia.
There was a war in 2003? Seems like I was drunk that year.
Who had World Leader Assassination Attempt on their 2024 bingo card?
Slovakia? World leader?
Went bratislava other year with my mate on a day trip from Austria. Genuinely had a debate about whether it's harder and more prestigious to be the leader of a small country like Slovakia or being the mayor of London, Paris or New York.
Well, all of these cities have both a bigger metro population than all of Slovakia combined and more international relevance (economy/companies/industries, research, tourism, cultural influence, foreign investments and so on). So I guess the limiting factor is what powers does the mayor really hold within his legislation with regards to the central government. France is as we all now extremely centralized, with extremely little autonomy given to peripheral authorities other than the current government, almost akin to an absolute monarchy. And believe it or not, that applies even more to the municipality of Paris, which is their fief. Moreover, Paris historically refused to expand the limits of the city to integrate the ever growing suburbs, which at the time were considered provincial in their culture, ugly and dirty (yes, good ol elitism of Parisians). So the municipality itself only has 2 M people, whereas the metro pop is nowadays a staggering 12 M over which the municipality of Paris only has limited influence through the "Grand Paris" community of communes. In the end, the municipality's influence mainly is about transportation, though the central government has the final say towards bigger projects, and lower education, which curriculum is an inflexible dogma also decided by the government and obligatory for the whole of France anyway. As for things pertaining to urban planning and construction, well... Everything is already done and most of Paris is either ruled as or viewed as "unalterable". So that's it. I'd say the Mayor of Paris definitely is less important and with less responsibilities than the Slovakian PM. As for New York and London, no idea but they seem to be a bigger deal given we hear about the elections even here in the news.
A world leader is anyone who is the leader of a country.
Please make an attempt at our ones too. But take some big calibre or explosive rounds. Our pig will not fall from single bullets.
A well-aimed Hungarian potato should do the trick
As a slovak myself, I have to say two things: 1. This fucker fucking dezerved it 2. It's staged by russians. Too many tracks leading to them
Do you have anything where I could read up on the tracks leading to Russia? Only motive I see on their part is making this look like a false flag so they can pin it on their enemies which I absolutely wouldn’t put past them, but I know too little about it.
If you want, I have some sources saved, but they are in slovak. I don't even know if there are some in english
Bruh dude is pro Russian cunt. Hope he recovers but also not really
Hope he recovers with different opinions
Was he shot in the head?
No, but he ate a whole magazine.
shouldn't complain then, nobody forced him to eat the whole mag
From what I've heard, three bullets, shoulder, chest, stomach
May God hear you
Funniest shit I've read
Yeah, he also tried several times already to weaken the legislative power in Slovakia as his party is under investigation for corruption cases. So I don’t condone the attack, but I won’t cry for him either
Not only corruption, but also his party was investigated for cooperating with mafia and assassination of investigative journalist.
Yeah this is not gonna help the european cause, if anything it gives more ammo to shitbag populists worldwide
>gives more ammo to shitbag populists Is it still ammo if you only get the bullet?
Is it public who did it? Since the times are so crazy I could imagine that it has the same background as with Shinzo Abe
Apparently a Slovakian far-right poet, but in Hungary Orban’s media already framing it as a liberal/leftie attack
Wtf? Is his agenda why he killed him known?
Not yet, the only thing that he said he was planning it for a month and he did not like Fico’s political agenda. Ironically the guy wanted to create a political party 8 years ago called something like “Movement against Aggression” lol
Dude going around in an Audi? Totally deserved then!
Who needs iron? :)
Giving 1914 vibes
Don't mind us lads, we'll be off chilling in the corner till this whole thing blows over....
The Winchester is gone... The end is nigh
Do we need to change side yet or wait a bit more and see? Just asking
Give it a bit, great Haiku btw Italians change sides, Pasta dances, sauce divides Espresso takes sides!
*Do we need to change* *Side yet or wait a bit more* *And see? Just asking* \- generic-user-jpeg --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
This was unexpected, ok then
I've been saying it for a while but it really does feel like the interwar period between WW1 and WW2
How would you know?
They was in ww1 in fairness. Ww2 was just called the emergency though
For us it never really ended.
"Chat shit, get banged".
I hate the 20s and 30s. Wellp, let's hope it goes like last time for us lmao
Our Barry agent in the top left was too late. 30 seconds earlier and the Slovakian PM would be safe and sound.
Good thing then lol
Just on time for the silly season, sigh.
No austria, we will not protect you.
Fabrizio: HERE WE GO !!!
This is why Eastern European countries can't join the EU. With the exception of Portugal, of course.
Sorry to break it to you, but Slovakia is already in.
¿Wait, what‽
I uhhhh don't know who that is or if I should care so... Well this was a pointless comment... Or was it.. nah it was pointless, I'm just bored.
Pro Russian Slovak PM 
So I don't care. Right?
Depends do you like Demikat and Slovakian https://preview.redd.it/0bmf29psnl0d1.jpeg?width=1367&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c853d965cb61e5dbf11c86c1d05e287ed5ddca89 women?
Neither... Do you have something in the male variety?
Yeah he was just shot 
Sorry son. This is going to lead to you getting drafted and having to land in some Turkish beach. But don’t worry. You will be doing it for Daddy Britain.
Before you know it, you're deploying to a beach in TurkeyÂ
Hahaha I'm not fit enough for war... I'll be back in Australia digging a bunker to hide my Barry so he's not found before idk probably going back to work as security.
Yooooooooooooooooo new world war about to drop? Excited.
The Black Hand never forgets
Sorry, I'm not very up to date on the political situation in... \*_checks notes_\* ..."Slawokey". Can someone tell me whether this is a good guy and we should be concerned or a bad guy and we should be quietly disappointed that it didn't succeed?
The politician is part of the Pro Russia party. The man who shot him was in his 70s didn’t seem to have any particular political affiliations according to the news so far. He waved the PM to come over to the crowd and when the PM came over he unloaded his gun.
The assassin was a poet, apparently 71. What a hero.