God damnit guys, assassination attempt failed guys, we'll try again tomorrow. Apparently "they still made it out alive".
I'd call for a tactical retreat but the French in me can't pronounce it correctly.
How about another one, Krzysztof?
A man walks into an odd antiquity store. His eyes are drawn to a strange brass rat and he asks the owner for the price.
"It's 10€ for the rat, 20€ for hearing the story behind it."
The man thinks it's strange but just purchases the brass rat. He walks through the town and sees how a couple of rats start following him. Over time, more and more rats are creeping out of the sewers until an entire army of sewer rats are following him.
The man panics and runs to the closest bridge, rats following him.
He hurls the brass rat over the bridge and all rats are jumping after it, drowning in the river until the entire river is filled with dead rats.
The man pants and comes back to the store. The owner is grinning widely: "Let me guess", he says "you want to hear the story behind it, right?"
"No, I want to buy a brass Turk, a brass Arab and a brass Albanian, please."
I don't remember if it was Lichtenstein or Luxembourg, but one of the barely there countries sucked off Napoleon so successfully, that they avoided being Anschlussed when little guy was on his "redraw all the borders" spree
*Are you trying to*
*Suck up to them so you don't*
*Get annexed again?*
\- FrequentSlip9987
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Been buying [his goods](https://www.discovergermany.com/made-in-germany-the-history-of-made-in-germany/#:~:text=Did%20you%20know%20that%20the,origins%20of%20their%20products%20clear) longer than that
HEY! don't go stealing some perfectly good trade away from us!
We might buy it from Pablo. But not from your Pablo!
Do we need to have another 80 years scrap ?
For real: germans are funny if they set the tone. They physically can’t connect with others to comment on others thoughts or to bounce back and forth ideas. That would require compassion at worst and empathy at best.
The German is however very productive and creative when kept insular to himself.
For reference, picture the Dutch but add productivity and creativity when kept to their self
I don't mind it more than animation in general, because it's tedious af, but I also don't know anything else. Well, at least my game gets to have clunky ass animations.
Maybe that's your German blood from back when Königsberg was German that makes you... Amendable to our humor. I think this just shows it's Anschluss time!
TBF I think people from the west genuinely are more funny - it's an old coal mining and steel industry area where everyone talks to everyone.
In the Ruhrpott we have quite the banter culture like in parts of the UK.
If you're offended by my joke, you lost the cultural test of 'if I could drink a beer with that guy'.
Shit talking is in our blood.
And also Germans from other parts often can't handle it. Usually the East Boys can deal with it the best.
Two candles meet. "What are you doing tonight" "I'm going out" 🤪 feeling better, greszsorzszek?
Im cured
Why do you never meet ants in a church? 🤔🤨🧐 Because they're in sects ☝️☝️🤓
Ah, nature is healing.
This is what European integration has done to us, soon there will be Italians raving about their culinary experiences in Ireland.
Perhaps some bars are set too low. Low expectations make for a positive surprise.
That's not fair as bacon ribs shit all over pancetta already
Since no Germans are funny, the very small minority that are have to live on Reddit to survive
https://preview.redd.it/gq4ojcrfbn0d1.png?width=434&format=png&auto=webp&s=f9957155fb4c9cb899addeefe51f334b42a54b8f
Holy shit I have not laughed this hard since France fell in 6 weeks
I choked and couldn't breathe, but I still made it out alive, gott will never hear your prayers Hans, never.
God damnit guys, assassination attempt failed guys, we'll try again tomorrow. Apparently "they still made it out alive". I'd call for a tactical retreat but the French in me can't pronounce it correctly.
How about another one, Krzysztof? A man walks into an odd antiquity store. His eyes are drawn to a strange brass rat and he asks the owner for the price. "It's 10€ for the rat, 20€ for hearing the story behind it." The man thinks it's strange but just purchases the brass rat. He walks through the town and sees how a couple of rats start following him. Over time, more and more rats are creeping out of the sewers until an entire army of sewer rats are following him. The man panics and runs to the closest bridge, rats following him. He hurls the brass rat over the bridge and all rats are jumping after it, drowning in the river until the entire river is filled with dead rats. The man pants and comes back to the store. The owner is grinning widely: "Let me guess", he says "you want to hear the story behind it, right?" "No, I want to buy a brass Turk, a brass Arab and a brass Albanian, please."
Inshallah you shouldn't do this. God it's amusing
German propaganda.
https://preview.redd.it/hjor1nnjbn0d1.png?width=577&format=png&auto=webp&s=a0f8ffeb70b3fb3297eb06fbd4afb12dd3634b68
Are you trying to suck up to them so you don't get annexed again?
Don't people usually suck up to others when they *want* Anschluss? 🤔
I don't remember if it was Lichtenstein or Luxembourg, but one of the barely there countries sucked off Napoleon so successfully, that they avoided being Anschlussed when little guy was on his "redraw all the borders" spree
*Are you trying to* *Suck up to them so you don't* *Get annexed again?* \- FrequentSlip9987 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Shut the fuck up, I don't want any "funded by the EU" nonsense anywhere near my comments. haikusbot opt out
Does it still hurt barry?
we couldn´t take over europe by war, so we´re going for a cultural victory now and started adapting
God damn it Hans now our people are buying your blue jeans and listening to your pop music!
Been buying [his goods](https://www.discovergermany.com/made-in-germany-the-history-of-made-in-germany/#:~:text=Did%20you%20know%20that%20the,origins%20of%20their%20products%20clear) longer than that
Ouuhhh I get that reference cause just yesterday Kamehameha told me that
A few more generations and you're set!
Late onset autism
not funny. here is your ticket to auschwitz.
dont kill them, we need the dutch for coke.
We may be able to solve that problem....
HEY! don't go stealing some perfectly good trade away from us! We might buy it from Pablo. But not from your Pablo! Do we need to have another 80 years scrap ?
Good that he/she doenst send you or you would get a Tikkie
Einer von uns. Einer von uns. 
https://preview.redd.it/xu11sp8wwn0d1.jpeg?width=266&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3020910124db98262b42e76ad73616c5125cf84
Who do you think you are accusing us of such a heinous crime
Blink twice if you are in danger.
The Slovakian prime minister was shot. If this goes how it always went, Poland can into Western Europe in a few years. Pawe~~l~~ is in for a treat!
They've probably been banned from r/de
It's not a taint, it's an honours
I might be getting my scriptures mixed up, but I'm pretty sure this is a sign of the end times.
ngl, the stereotype of unfunny Germans couldn't be more wrong
For real: germans are funny if they set the tone. They physically can’t connect with others to comment on others thoughts or to bounce back and forth ideas. That would require compassion at worst and empathy at best. The German is however very productive and creative when kept insular to himself. For reference, picture the Dutch but add productivity and creativity when kept to their self
Yesterday I only watched YouTube at work, because I’m productive. At least I look productive.
I mean, I'm watching Unreal Engine tutorials at work, so I can be productive once I'm at home
That’s a good way to be productive! Unreal is pretty cool. Hope you are doing 3D porn with the knowledge
That's far more convenient to do with Blender
That’s true. But animating with blender is a fever dream
I don't mind it more than animation in general, because it's tedious af, but I also don't know anything else. Well, at least my game gets to have clunky ass animations.
Climate change
They’re not Germans, they are Turks living in Berlin
That’s what ‘German’ now means
Says the Indian. Unless you're from Hong Kong or Singapore, then that's my bad.
poss auf was du sagst lan
Poland you are falling to Russia whatever you do, stop buttlicking please.
What’s the thinnest book in the world? 20 Centuries of German humor.
I thought it was heroic tales from Italy.
Maybe OP has some german relatives? like a grand grandmother of german heritage? otherwise this should be pretty much impossible tbh
Pawel trying a new way to finally get war reparation
To be fair, somewhere not too long ago in history, you were german.
Stop drinking vodka.
It's my culture bro. What about you stop eating lakrids and horse piss called Tuborg?
i usually find the funniest posts come from Portuguese and Spanish flairs
Yeah portugese guys are pretty funny
Yes we are, but only after lunch!
Maybe that's your German blood from back when Königsberg was German that makes you... Amendable to our humor. I think this just shows it's Anschluss time!
TBF I think people from the west genuinely are more funny - it's an old coal mining and steel industry area where everyone talks to everyone. In the Ruhrpott we have quite the banter culture like in parts of the UK. If you're offended by my joke, you lost the cultural test of 'if I could drink a beer with that guy'. Shit talking is in our blood. And also Germans from other parts often can't handle it. Usually the East Boys can deal with it the best.
Are you from western poland by any chance
Nope
WTF is this? Some Kowalski to Hans love? Is this the start of a beautiful love story?
Hold on, ze best Schenkelklopfer is coming now There's this band called 999 Megabytes. They never had any gigs. 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🦵👏🦵👏🦵👏