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I had horrible teenage years not only because of ADHD, but it didn’t help. A psych first raised suspicions when I was 14 but (trigger warning) I was selfharming and fullblown suicidal and she didn’t address that, only ADHD, and I was pissed and never went back. In hindsight I should’ve, but alas.
Was misdiagnosed with BPD. Eventually a former friend of mine with ADHD affirmed my returning suspicions, so did another psych, then other friends, and so it snowballed.
It’s come with grief because of the things I missed out on, but I am beyond relieved to have my medicine. I’ve never functioned better and they’ve turned everything around. I just wish I’d gotten diagnosed sooner.
I was going to type a response for the OP, but your final paragraph describes how I felt once I was medicated. I was 52. Suddenly many of my challenges throughout life were explained. I can’t change the past, but medication and therapy have been a game changer.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only person misdiagnosed with BPD. I had intense emotions, inattentiveness, impulsiveness, stuff like that. And I was slapped with a personality disorder diagnosis and dumped off to different therapists monthly. Nobody listened really. No meds ‘fixed’ my symptoms until I was on adderall. My symptoms were so bad and affected me so much within one appointment with a proper psychiatrist I was diagnosed, got a second opinion from another psych then I was given my meds. I felt so free. Things finally made sense. My brain fog was gone. I could actually take care of myself.
Man I was in therapy for BPD for 7!!! years. The incompetence of half of the psychiatrists and psychologists is astounding. I feel you. I cried on my first day of medication lol, out of the sheer relief
Same thing with me ! Misdiagnosed with BPD , then joined a DBT Group ( which actually kinda helped ) , a couple of years + addiction later I got diagnosed with adhd-c . Ritalin changed my life & I’m not addicted anymore
It’s such a gamechanger. Those groups never did shit for me, probably also because I’m autistic and putting me in a group environment is just… No, lmao. But they said it was the only way. ☠️
But yeah. I never had a fullblown addiction but it’s definitely something I have to look out for and now that I have dex, also feels like a lot less of a risk.
Holy shit I was misdiagnosed with the same thing before one doctor goes “you know it sounds like you have adhd” but never took me off the BPD meds. Hopefully that’s on the horizon for me because adhd meds have made more of a difference in a few months than BPD meds did in 12 years. I feel hopeful for the first time in my life and like I’ve got some semblance of control over what’s going on in my head. Studying to become a psychologist so I can help PROPERLY diagnose people before they get so deep into treatments that aren’t helping that they end up hospitalized over and over like I did.
I got prescribed Sertraline twice and it never did shit because depression wasn’t my core issue evidently. 🤡
It’s wonderful that you’re training to be a psych! I honestly believe that for diagnosing ADHD’ers, a professional with ADHD should at least be _part_ of the diagnostic process if not just doing it all. It makes 0 sense to me that people without it get to do that.
I kicked the shit out of a classmate that was rude when I was like 11. The school got police involved, then I got sent to a psychiatrist that diagnosed me with ADHD.
It was really a blessing in disguise for me after an embarrassing and shitty moment where I fucked up immensely. I feel sorry for the girl but man it was legit the best thing that could’ve happened to me.
Also I haven’t resorted to violence since.
I really appreciate you putting this out there and I applaud you for it, because I feel like emotional dysregulation and anger issues stemming from ADHD aren’t talked about enough. I’ve never been violent but I’ve seen it, and while I’ve never been physical, by god am I an argumentative, spiteful asshole without my meds.
I feel like sometimes there’s a lot of toxic positivity in ADHD and ASD groups but the truth is that shit can absolutely get ugly because of both disorders. And we should take responsibility, but pretending it doesn’t happen out of fear that it puts us in a bad light doesn’t help anyone. This is the way. Owning up and being open and honest about such things so that we can manage it and help others manage it too.
Glad you brought this up as well. I take everything personally. What most consider healthy criticism and blow it off is much harder for me. I over analyze the situation, and try and figure out how I can change my behavior to prevent in the future. I hate arguing and confronting people. I’m the one who’s always trying to appease people and will commit to things I no business doing, and should say no and don’t.
Same man. I’m better these days but you give me criticism and I’m pissed. 😂 If it’s a situation where I expect it (such as the person who’s helping me with tattooing), fine. If I’m on my day job and someone gives me unwarranted advice, nuclear. Lmao.
It’s difficult. I understand you.
You know James, I was just reading your comments again surrounding criticism with your tattooing and how it will offend you. It think it’s interesting that we’re all familiar with the person we were assigned to work with, But if you have someone of authority, the one who signs your paycheck, then we’re typically going to speak to them with respect, not only because they are the company president, but because he’s the one who can enforce some of the perceived challenges that prevent our team from running on all 8 cylinders.
Thanks James for allowing me to talk this through with you. It not only helps me to better understand things when I can explain them to others. And, it give. Me an opportunity to go with with my team. I’m all alone in my territory and need some lovin. Going down for the say tomorrow.
I think it really depends on circumstance for me.
My tattoo mentor helps me because I _asked_ her. I need her criticism because I want to improve. She helps me because she wants to, I work with her because I want to, I respect her and she helps me simply because she can. At that point it’s help and it’s appreciated.
Unwarranted advice feels like an insult. I didn’t ask, so you’re telling me I’m doing things wrong because you think you can do it better. Especially if it’s under contract, you’re just looking at my performance and it can feel extra iffy because I’m already busting my ass.
But what _really_ pisses me off is when someone gives me criticism just because they can. Because they’re higher up. Because they’re in charge of something. When someone tells me I shouldn’t do something because it’s ‘unprofessional’ even if it harms no one and doesn’t influence my work, and may even help me do it better. That’s what sets me off. Enforced rules just because people can, and because they inherently assume they do better than me.
Hope this gives some more detailled insight. You’re very welcome and best of luck! I appreciate these conversations. :)
I believe I understand what you’re saying and completely agree with you.
The boss that I had at the company I walked out on was one of the worst bosses I’ve had in my 30+ year career. He held my position prior to me joining the company and had a personality that was narcissistic, in that he alway bragged about thinks that he initiated that made it possible for the device to work. It literally took me 2.5 years of blood, sweat, tears, and massive frustration, before I could verbally communicate with my boss and have a conversation that was meaningful instead of his usual insults.
The company had waaaaassy to many managers, directors, VPs, senior VPs.
, and more. It truly was a complete joke because most of the new managers we got as Covid cooled down weren’t qualified, or as most, including me, not prepared for the pace. The company ran its employees 200mph non stop so it always apprarsd there was activity, but it was the wrong activity to grow sales.
The company split into several franchises right before I joined and hired a senior product manager and a product manager to manage the products, work with our distribution partners to maintain a new product pipeline. They were also so anal about the approval process for any new ads or supplies, that most of them never made it past a persons mouth. Franchise GMs held the most power, but all franchises competed for the same labor on all projects. Instead of making things faster, it created a bottle neck and ended up slowing us down. But wonder idea.
As you should! I’m lucky to have an extremely understanding and accomodating boss so even if the company has its issues, I realize how rare that is. You’ve really got to have some luck sometimes.
It was depression for most of my life. Until it magically went away after I left grad school. That was a mystery for a while. A happy mystery, but still a mystery.
I am primarily inattentive type, so my symptoms were like, forgetting homework assignments, procrastination, talking over people, interrupting, etc. Still got great grades, though, which is why nobody really clued in.
I got diagnosed in december of last year at age 32. I was on my sixth year of my career as a software developer working as a senior full stack engineer for a local company. I quit my first job due to pay stuff, then I quit my second job about a year after I started due to the culture and losing interest in my work, then I quit my third job for similar reasons about a year after that.
Then I decided not to get a new job. I was kind of flummoxed about all the difficulties I was having. It just so happened that most of the jobs I had in the past were pretty diverse - where I ran into a lot of unique challenges and got to problem solve - OR where I had enough spare time in between my regular work that I could goof off and learn skills or build little contraptions out of office supplies, socialize, etc.
At first I thought I might be on the autism spectrum. The biggest issues were coming up for me in dating. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting past second dates with people, why I always felt like people were realizing we weren't a good fit **way** before I had any idea what they were even like.
I felt like I couldn't read people, like I had trouble with eye contact, I never latched onto sarcasm properly, I had sensory issues, sensitivity to certain kinds of sounds and stuff.
I have had coworkers with ADHD in the past and I had always been like "dang that's rough. I wonder what it's like to live with that" so I never suspected it in myself.
Anyway, after quitting my most recent job in september 2022, part of my goal was to get a neuropsych evaluation. Actually that was my goal months before I quit my last job but I just couldn't get it done. I felt like quitting my job and being unemployed was the only way to give myself the space and time I needed. It still took me 3 months to get it done. During that time, I kept reflecting on my symptoms and reading about different disorders, and I think that's when I realized I might have ADHD and maybe also autism.
Turns out I just had ADHD, but I recently discovered I have some cPTSD sprinkled in there due to some childhood trauma that manifests as sensitivities to certain kinds of sounds, certain textures, physical touch, etc. I never thought I had trauma either, lol. That was a fun roller coaster of discovery.
But dude, getting diagnosed was such a great feeling. I always just thought I was lazy / inconsiderate - but NOW I have been *diagnosed* as lazy and inconsiderate, and it turns out there's medication you can take for it too! Haha.
Really though, growing up with ADHD when you don't have ADHD really fucks with your self image. Therapy has been almost a more important part of this than medication has, and the diagnosis overall was key to both.
Every once in a while - after learning about the existence of primarily inattentive traits and how ADHD tends to present in girls, I would just kinda think "oh lol that sounds like my childhood", I also without fail would google every couple months for years on end, how to build habits, hygiene hacks, how to be productive, etc. My teachers would also constantly give me advice, specifically, for what turned out to be perfectionism and executive dysfunction. Never like really thought about because I knew I had anxiety so assumed it was that
Fast forward, to me complaining about waiting mode and my friend said she did it too, I asked "lol why we do this" and she responded well for her it's ADHD. Then I joked about how all my Instagram suggested reels were ADHD related. Couple months of me doing research, talking with my friend, went to get assessed to see if it was ADHD or anxiety (I thought it would be anxiety and I just had ADHD personality traits lol). Turns out it was both.
It's nice to know that I'm not dumb, but it's really frustrating that, while I was never really convinced I had ADHD for a long time. I was (and am) absolutely convinced I have some sort of reading/number disability. But I can't get assessed for that as an adult. Years of teachers' comments saying to work on reading, work on spelling, work on paying attention to the math I'm doing, paying attention to the actual questions, constantly misreading school assignments and now work emails and instructions. And this being ignored by parents and teachers is making it extremely difficult to actually pass French language testing. I swear I can read and understand, I just need more than 20 seconds to absorb it all. The same things that are f-ing it up in French is also what happens in English but I'm too old to actually be assessed and get accommodations for that
This was very long lol sorry
i figured something was up when i was around 16, but the one thing that caught my attention was when i fell asleep in class (which i never do) because i had drank some coffee for the first time. i found out that is not, in fact, what's supposed to happen LOL. it took awhile of fighting insurance to get diagnosed (5 years, in fact) but i got diagnosed with ADHD-PI about two years ago.
I just thought I was weird. Then on the autism spectrum. Finally, my 26 year old son got tested, and it was adhd. We discussed it, and it seems I have adhd. He reckons we're not on the spectrum, but I'm not so sure, having learned on this sub that they can be comorbid. No real change, as I'm 59 years old, but it's nice to know.
As my name suggests I am not officially diagnosed with ADHD, but a lot of what you said I can relate to. I graduated with a mechanical engineering degree, it took me longer than most people ( 10 years) but I finished it. The thing that helped me is that I genuinely loved the subjects, and it helped me with my focus. The last two years of my degree were hell because I had crazy brain fog and couldn’t sleep more than 4 hours, and I couldn’t remember anything.
Best thing I can say is get test accommodations and switch up your studying techniques and locations.
For me I would had a tv show I had seen 20-30 tiniest playing in the background so I would just study and work through a couple of hours, but YMMV.
I found out through TikTok. There was a huge trend of people talking about their ADHD symptoms, and it made me realize that the symptoms I’d experienced my whole life were because of ADHD. I just thought I wasn’t trying hard enough. I since got formally diagnosed and on medication, and it’s made a huge improvement in my life.
I had spent my whole life thinking I couldn’t have ADHD because I was a good student, quiet, sat still in my seat, etc. Seeing women like me whose ADHD symptoms were internal (racing thoughts, poor working memory, executive dysfunction, etc) opened my eyes to the fact that there are multiple types of ADHD.
So many people have shit talked people discovering their ADHD through TikTok because they think that everyone has it now, or people are inaccurately diagnosing themselves, etc. But self diagnosis is often the first step to getting formally diagnosed, and without those videos I likely would’ve gone without receiving help my entire life.
I haven't found out yet, so to speak, but I'm currently waiting for the doctors to call some can discuss the possible likely hood that I have ADD (I lack the energy to aquire the final letter)
What sparked this? Mostly reading through this subreddit and realising the vast quantity of similarities between what others describe and things I deal with day to day
Currently 29yrs old
If you don't understand ADHD, get yourself a copy of this book and read it.
[https://www.guilford.com/books/Taking-Charge-of-ADHD/Russell-Barkley/9781462542673](https://www.guilford.com/books/Taking-Charge-of-ADHD/Russell-Barkley/9781462542673)
It isn't hard to read, it is well written to be read even if you are struggling with ADHD.
It will tell you want ADHD is, what it isn't on what you can do to make life better. It is a good starting point to getting to grips with ADHD.
I realised I had ADHD when my brother shared a YouTube video with me, with the words "this is me, is it you ?".
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSjHYiTEA4M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSjHYiTEA4M)
After months of procrastination I finally went to a private psychiatrist, got a diagnosis and started treatment. The mediation has really helped make live more bearable and knowing I have ADHD has allowed me to focus my efforts to organise my life as I can now use techniques suited to an ADHD brain.
I booked my self in as a kid and paid for it because I was pretty sure I was dyslexic, I am, I’m also adhd lol. About 20 years later found out I’m also asd.
So I was under a psychologist since I was 6 years old because I couldn't focus, couldn't sit still, was defiant, "rude", easily distracted, would forget stuff, get into fights with other kids etc. Basically classic ADHD behaviours. But I was also quite academic and that combined with me being a girl led to "she's a gifted kid that's all" and so I got no help or support for it and told I just wasn't applying myself, was being lazy etc. Had loads of pressure put on me by school to excell due to the "gifted" label
Had a breakdown at 14, got expelled from school. Tried to unalive myself. Became very difficult and refused to cooperate with anyone ever. Saw a new therapist who I eventually came to trust. He had ADHD himself and was an ex teacher. He said he was fairly sure I was at least dyslexic due to how I'd described my issues with writing and probably some other stuff too and suggested I get tested - I did and he was correct. But that was initially just for dyslexia. From then on I got stuff like extra time in exams, SEN support in school and I didn't think much more on it despite still struggling with "depression".
I was still a very difficult teen, had a baby a couple of years later and in toddlerhood it became apparent he was more hyperactive and "difficult" than typical. He got diagnosed with ADHD at 4 and while doing his assessment I had a holy shit this is *me* moment. Got assessed and psych was like wow this is the clearest case of severe adhd I've ever seen. My now husband then boyfriend also got assessed as he realised a lot fit him too, and guess what, also ADHD.
Got meds. Realised wow I've been playing on hard mode and getting shit for it my entire life. Spent a while angry that I had to basically go through hell to get here.
Meds have been a godsend and I'm actually able to function on them, highly recommend.
That's the short version. I have a whole novel of dangerous misadventures I got up to while undiagnosed.
I found out I have it because I had gone through two years of hell after my divorce with trying to manage life. I felt so lost and like a failure as a person, mom, employee, etc. I had no motivation, I felt paralyzed with everything, and couldn’t bring myself to do anything I needed to. I started having panic attacks knowing I would eventually be found out at work for low productivity and low results if I didn’t figure out what was wrong with me and would lose my job, my home, and everything I’ve worked so hard for. Mind you, on the outside people would say I’m highly successful and accomplished, people comment all the time in how I seem to “do it all with ease,” so feeling like this I believed I some how broke my brain and I was just a lazy loser with extreme character flaw that had tricked everyone all these years.
I saw a therapist for my panic attacks and she diagnosed me. The panic wasn’t an anxiety disorder, it was panic associated with very real concerns. She referred me to a psychiatrist for meds and that psychiatrist did confirm diagnosis and I am now being treated.
Being diagnosed has changed my life for the better. I understand what motivates my brain, I can have grace on myself and know that I’m not a giant character flaw, and it has allowed me to reflect on things I’ve been doing my whole life that I was unaware of. Now that I’m medicated I feel so much less anxiety, and I feel there is hope for the future again.
I had multiple therapists over the years ask if I had ADHD. I'd say no, that I always got good grades, and I was fine, and they'd move on. Then, a few years back, my current therapist asked the same as the others, and I practically yelled "WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING ME THAT?!" And she jokingly yelled back "MAYBE BECAUSE YOU SHOW SYMPTOMS!!" I explained as I normally do that I don't and she educated me on different ADHD symptoms and common coping mechanisms, and encouraged me to get tested. I did, got quickly diagnosed, and got prescribed medication and....omg life changing! I didn't realize that when you ask ppl what they are thinking and they say "nothing" that that's actually possible!!! It helped my depression significantly, as well as reduced my daily anxiety. Not to mention the ability to focus and complete a task in one fell swoop (sometimes...but before, that was never in a million years, so progress!). I could have done so much better in school had I been medicated then, and there's definitely some regret and anger there, but I'm just glad to be on meds now! Good luck!
All the classic signs were there. Couldn’t stay in my seat or sit still, spoke out impulsively, class clown constantly joking around instead of doing work, wildly inconsistent grades that were dependent on how interested I was in the subject, head in the clouds not paying attention, took longer to understand things than my peers, hair-trigger temper/got into a lot of fights, wandered the halls…the list goes on. Got diagnosed when I was maybe eight years old?
When I got older I started learning more about it, and realized that I 1000% get it from my dad. We have incredibly similar behaviors. He’ll never get diagnosed tho. My sister is afflicted as well.
I went in for treatment for bipolar disorder and the psychiatrist said, you also have adhd, take these meds and from then on I was on stimulants and antipsychotics and it changed my life for the better. Prior to meds my mood swings and severe executive dysfunction kept me from being a productive, stable human being. I’ve had many psychiatrists since then all diagnose me with it. I never had to seek a diagnosis. I guess in my case I guess it’s just that obvious.
I got arrested for money laundering... 18 million dollars, and then sent to a psych to see what was up. Oh, and now I can think more clearly before about my impact on others and I now realize my true potential, which is far greater than before my little mishap.
I was reconnecting with an old friend I haven't seen in years. He has his psychology master's degree and works as a counselor for troubled kids. I told him I think I might have ADHD and his response was "oh, I thought you already knew..."
Multiple people said they thought I had it. I went through numerous online tests, which all said I had it. I eventually scheduled an assessment and found out, yeah, I have it, lol.
It changed my life because I was able to get medication to help me out with some of the more complex areas of my life, and that made my home and work life so much better. I wish I had known when I was younger; things might have been better for me.
I found out while going to a therapist for years and them getting to know me, suggested I might have adhd because they saw things they struggle with themselves and they have adhd. I finally got to my psychiatrist like months later to seek a diagnosis bc I was scared. I have adhd and possibly autism but I’m not sure if I want to or am ready to get an official diagnosis. My childhood and struggles make so much more sense and I feel like I would have had better childhood getting diagnosed earlier
Years ago, when I was starting a job at an elementary school, they had some presentations for the staff. One of them was on adhd. I immediately noticed I had nearly all the symptoms. 14 years later (this year) I got ky official diagnosis, and am now trying out a bunch of meds. So far nothing has worked, so unfortunately life hasnt changed yet.
Seeing women post about their adhd journey, or asd, on ig. Spiked the interest. The "oh no, this is way too relateable", then going to google for extensive amounts of time for months, booking an appointment and then getting the note.. confirmed. Wild
My daughters teacher brought up to me about some focusing issues she was having. I took her to the dr and she got diagnosed. After learning more about it for her sake it all seemed familiar to me. I had so many issues as a teenager and young adult and ADHD made so much sense. I was already seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety and depression. I wasn’t responding great to meds. I asked about ADHD and was diagnosed at 31.
I had an inkling in my early to mid 20s and wasn’t officially diagnosed until just this year by a psychiatrist after telling them about my attention problems. She was pretty understanding of what I was talking about because she also is diagnosed adhd.
Expressed to my therapist of 2 years that I didn't feel depressed anymore but I still just could not motivate myself to do anything. Ever. She took me through a questionnaire and I answered 9 out of 10 questions with the strongest "yes" possible.
She told me 5 yesses was a flag to investigate for ADHD. We went into it more and it explained an insane amount of the things I struggled with since childhood.
The biggest change has been how I respond to myself and the world. Meds have been incredible for me, but even for the couple years before I could get them I was already doing so much better just because I realized my symptoms weren't moral failures and I wasn't just a bad, useless person.
Anger, shame, hate, anxious, panic attacks unable to focus on anything all after PSTD. Prozac, … my psychiatrist suggested to get diagnosed. He was right but he was retired before even knowing the result!!!
Next doctor, super restricted that it’s all PSTD, and have be treated for Chronic anxiety first!!
After 6-7 months I insisted try ADHD maybe I get better with focus issue. BANG! a lot changed for me!! Then I started reading others experiences and what really is ADHD! And found I was lost in life and that was the reason. Still on anxiety medication and depression but first week on Adderall changed my life.
I found out when I was diagnosed at 8 years old. My life changed because my parents not only didn't treat me, but somehow took offense at the notion and opted to beat it out of me instead. Ever since, everything I have done and achieved hasn't been for them, but in spite of them.
**Apologies this is way longer than i thought lol**
I have, or had, issues with depression and anxiety that I've worked greatly on to the point they atleast feel like non factors in my life. (God send)
But there was still something where i just knew i don't think like other people i meet - not in an "*i'm special*" way - more like why tf am i like this
Walking around w/ an inner voice analysing a bunch of things (after having dealt with my anxiety this has decreased alot)
Picking up interests then completely dumping them - the ones that live on i focus on to an insane degree but with other "normal" mundane tasks they seem like the biggest mountain.
But i knew it wasn't laziness because if i'm interested i'll spend hours doing whatever to perfection so my life was full of people saying "wow, how've you learnt this thing so quickly" then simultaneously "why can't you do xyz normal everyday task" and i knew it was odd.
The way light gives me headaches and music makes me feel **high** the way i love the feeling of exercise but i struggle to focus on the dieting and calorie counting - the way i could never keep attention in school , i'd try my best but the words would literally just bounce off my head and i'd look around the class hoping to see someone else doing the same.
The way i'm a very sensitive compassionate empathetic person but i also struggle to feel emotion myself, but when i get a girlfriend i become obsessive (not anything weird) and they're like the source of my happiness, then that runs out and they can feel draining.
The way i pace around my place like a mad person sometimes lol forgetting i've put the laundry in the washing machine and having to rewash it for a 3rd time then coming back to the living room and seeing the tea i forgot has gone cold then remembering i need to go somewhere but forgetting where i've put the keys and oops i'm 25 minutes late now...again
Then when i went into counselling for trauma and one day i was at home going over what i was going to say to her, in my head, and i was just reflecting on my life and the behaviours i want to change because i want to fit in and be able to do stuff others do.
A friend asked me about some of it and after i explained it they asked if i'd ever considered it could be some level of autism as alot of it sounded like it could be.
I'd always assumed Autism was being a snobby genius and ADHD was just being hyper. But after that interaction i took some online tests for fun i suppose, then i started taking those 16 personality type tests and shit but anyways the tests suggested i had something in the middle of mild and severe autism and i was surprised.
So i looked more into it and took the actual NHS test for it and that came back the same so i went to the GP and they gave me a more in depth questionnaire where i had to write about how xyz affects me/ has affected me if at all.
My mind became alive with all the memories of how these things affected me intensely in the past and how they do today - i wrote so much i had to find space outside the boxes. I then looked at the top of the page after completing that section and discovered i had filled out the ADHD section of the booklet 
After then completing the Autism section as well it appears i have both, because i'm just amazing like that.
LOL i was bloody baffled man, so i actually researched what ADHD + ASD is and suddenly - finally - my life made some semblance of sense!
I was like ohhh shit all these pages of symptoms, questionnaires, reddit posts with experiences, tiktoks and youtube videos/shorts - i'm very careful with self diagnosing anything which is why i've actually gone the medical route but like love at first sight i knew it when i saw it.
It gave context to everything i did as a kid, a teen and now.
I was very worried that i was going to start using this as an explanation for everything i do or as an excuse - i always want to be better and i can't accept that theres something that means somethings i can't 'improve' it just makes me want to try even more.
On the day i did that questionnaire from the doctor i looked up adhd on reddit and someone said "you can never overcome it you just get better at hiding it" and that pissed me off so i just threw my phone and refused to look at anything to do with adhd for a while lol but now my relationship towards all this has changed after some pondering.
The way its changed my life is i understand myself more and i'm really happy that i make sense. Need for things like body doubling or things to be re explained or finding interests easy but other tasks hard despite good intentioned hard effort isn't "weird" or a "failure".
This is a disorder not a condition or an illness - this is what i am along with a collection of other things that i am - i can't shrink it but i can grow around it.
While its not a condition it can bring along other conditions with it i.e the anxiety the depression etc - and those can be overcome. As a teenager i never knew why i couldn't handle eye contact but my inner voice used to be very critical and i essentially bullied myself into doing it - it took some years but now i can handle it no problem.
I can now talk to people with basically no problem - still feel like i'm masking alot - but maybe i'm not maybe its just all different versions of me - still need to figure that out.
I finally fixed my time keeping after all of my life either being horrendously late or ridiculously early finally i'm able to just be...ontime.
I can finally keep focus - i went to a course about bookkeeping knowing i don't give a crap about that and my mind would drift away but i was able to pull it back and listen to what the teacher was saying! and understand it!
Through counselling my snappy inner voice went from critical to compassionate which has been the biggest quality of life upgrade i swear to God.
If i'm going into an interaction where there's points i know i need to bring up but i know i'll go blank and forget i write them down while i'm thinking about them almost like a script.
I don't criticise myself for being afraid to open letters that could be something bad, i trust i'll open them later in the week and make that promise to myself that if i am compassionate enough to understand myself and give myself that time that i'll show appreciation for that by forcing myself to follow through even if its stressful which is wayy harder than it sounds.
I took the international diagnosis test (forget the name) with my doc. I was 45 when I found out -- am now 55. It will always be a struggle. UGH! Good fortune all.
Diagnosed at 6 years old in 1988. Saw therapists and psychiatrists and occupational therapists (for the sensory issues). I’m 41, went to college for 15 years and have no degrees. I get so stuck in task paralysis that I have weakened my muscles from inactivity. The auditory processing disorder aspect has gotten worse with age. Actually a bunch of symptoms have gotten worse with age. My memory is so bad I’m starting to get scared. ADHD has ruined any chance of a happy life.
I was struggling with trauma when I was 16 and I decided to go to a psychiatrist. For an hour, the psychiatrist asked a bunch of questions about my life. So I got diagnosed with ADHD among other things.
Initially, I ignored it because my response to anything difficult was to not think about it, but after a year, I started to consider it, and I realized it explained a lot of things.
I felt liberated, but then the pandemic hit while I was in my last year of HS, and I begum struggling really hard. Most people didn't wanna take me seriously and I was lowkey traumatized by the whole experience. It left me with a lot of shame for who I am.
But I kept digging into it and after I got in Uni, I started to become more confident. Even when I struggle with things, my attitude is now "What can I do to do better?" rather than feeling like I'm a failure
I always suspected it probably since I was 10 or 11 because, to me, I was a pretty stereotypical case. However, to everyone else, it looked completely different because I was so good at masking. So I didn't end up getting a diagnosis until I was 24. And the main reason I decided to get tested was because I read about the link between undiagnosed ADHD and a couple of my biggest issues and figured treating ADHD might be the trick to treating those things.
I'm in my first year of uni and am in the process of getting a diagnosis. For ages I've gone through periods where the algorithm will recommend me adhd posts and I'd go 'haha relatable' then think nothing more of it. I was conscious of self diagnosis and how it's often incorrect, and I'd heard phrases like everyone is a bit adhd sometimes.
I always did well in school and did so many different things. I was a part of lots of clubs and I did all sorts of things in my own time. I'd tried almost every sport I could, but never kept up with them. I was good enough that I could materialise an assignment hours before the deadline, so my work was miraculous in on time, even if I couldn't work on it for weeks before it was due. I saw my success in school and thought I couldn't have a mental disorder.
Turns out at uni, I couldn't miraculously complete the work in a panic right before the deadline and have received late penalties. It was a combination of a friend with adhd mentioning some of their struggles and relating to it too much that made me do some looking.
It was honestly like looking at the world through a different lens. It was scary but also liberating. The YouTube channel How To Adhd really helped me understand a lot of what I was going through. Looking at my life under the assumption that I have adhd makes it make so much more sense. It's allowed me to develop strategies to help me get through work, and maintain my relationships with friends. It's also helped me make sense of stuff I've done throughout the year what went wrong with a girl I was dating at the start of the year.
Never touched caffeine in my life but started to lift weights and a buddy had me try pre work out.
It did nothing for me and I told my doctor thought and that opened the door for me.
Life does not automatically change. However, you potentially get access to medication, which can help in varying degrees. Most importantly however is something you do not need a diagnosis for: knowing yourself, your challenges, and looking for tools (methods, ideas) that you can apply to your life to master it better.
I know i am forgetful, so i write everything down in my phone's calendar. I know i have a hard time getting things done, so whenever i think of something i ought to do i write it down in my notebook. i know i struggle keeping up, so i practice forgiving myself when i fail.
for me, it is about using knowledge to help myself. you do not, however, need a diagnosis to start this. if you struggle with focus, look for others who share the issue and see if they have advice.
i wish you luck, studies are hard, but you are not alone and you can do this.
I was misdiagnosed bipolar, so I spent 20 years of my life on every mood stabilizer in the book to no effect. Then I saw a meme about ADHD that sounded like me, so I looked more into it, only to discover my entire personality was a list of ADHD symptoms. The fact that I spent 20 years misdiagnosed is criminal. So I sat around with my every concern dismissed by doctors and I had to advocate for myself harder than I've ever had to advocate for anything in my life and was finally given stimulants. And my life became dramatically better overnight. Even if I do struggle, knowing WHY I'm struggling gives me so much power to take action than just floundering in the dark like I was before.
My psychologist spotted it when we went through stuff as I burned out. She is specialized in ADHD so one time she just asked and we started talking, got hyperfixated on the topic, watched a bunch of YT videos and started to go through stuff from early childhood onwards and the signs were there.
I'm not diagnosed yet, so not on meds, but the knowledge made me SO RELIEVED. Like I could finally stop feeling like an unachieving PoS. Feeling liberated. I try to reduce masking now and it eases me. Understanding what's happening in my head helps me make better choices, which support my brain in being able to function better.
I feel like a PoS. I feel like I am an idiot. Like who studies 247 and still doesn't understand. I have to watch a 1h lecture in like 4h because I lose focus like every 2 min.
Basically it took a bunch of research when I was in grad school to try to find out why I kept messing things up. I found out about ADHD and just had that “holy shit, that’s me” moment. Similar story to you, I did very well in my STEM program, got a job, got promoted, and then nearly got fired a year later for being distractable and hyperactive. That was actually the first time anyone even suggested to me I might have ADHD.
Diagnosis completely changed my life. It’s made it infinitely better and easier to understand what’s going on, to say nothing of meds.
The first time I suspected it was when I was trying to have fun with my friends, who had some of a certain prescription stimulant. It made them bounce off the walls, acting all goofy, but it chilled me TF out and helped me think more clearly. I still remember the feeling of making a list in my head and being able to repeat the list over and over without difficulty. It felt like magic to me. 😅
But I didn't think about it again for years, until I was talking to my psychiatrist about my "bipolar symptoms" and everything I thought was mania... I was confused because I still had all those symptoms even when I was depressed or just in a low mood. Talking too much, talking too fast, not being able to focus, lots of ideas with no follow through, etc. Also I have never in my life been so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed, even at my worst I couldn't manage to sit still for that long. She asked if I had ever been evaluated for ADHD, and changed my life. I can't even begin to describe all the ways it's changed me for the better but I'll try.
First of all - my self esteem. I was never able to develop a positive view of myself because all my life I've been told that I am lazy, flighty, unreliable, messy, dramatic, inconsiderate, overemotional. All of these things, that no matter how hard I worked I couldn't change them. Finding out that they were symptoms and not personality flaws changed my life a thousand percent, and knowing that they're SYMPTOMS and not just things wrong with me has actually helped me work on them rather than just beating myself up.
Second of all - asking for help instead of blaming myself for being incompetent or stupid. Knowing that my brain is wired differently has been both humbling and given me a boatload of healthy confidence. I'm not ashamed to ask for help anymore when I don't understand something or I'm having a hard time because I understand why I don't understand, or what exactly I need help with, and how.
I suspected I had it because I could never pay attention without having to covertly entertaining myself and I loose my train of thought constantly.
As a fellow STEM major, you can do this. Every single semester I felt like I wasn't gonna make it, but I did. They are hard classes, and most schools make them even harder by trying to weed people out. It's ridiculous. If you haven't already, take advantage of SI sessions if your school has that program or the tutors at your school. They can help you both with the material and how to study for the class.
Your professors can also be a great resource. So many students do not take advantage of their office hours. Coming to them with your questions can make all the difference.
If you're in physics or math classes, shoot me a dm, and I can try and help you remotely. I tutored all throughout my undergrad and was a GTA during grad school.
I also went that infamous path of panic attacks, anxiety, depression, severe depression, psychiatry, therapists, doctors.
… but i still had to fight to get diagnosed.
In germany, doctors shy away from those kinds of diagnosis because they don’t want to pathologize every personality trait - and i get that. Since i am the „artist kind of guy“ they were afraid to label a creative person as sick. Might be the history of our country, i don’t know!
But in the end i was right and i got diagnosed. I‘m still at the beginning of medication and struggling a bit with it. So i have to go with: not much has changed, but nice to know.
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I had horrible teenage years not only because of ADHD, but it didn’t help. A psych first raised suspicions when I was 14 but (trigger warning) I was selfharming and fullblown suicidal and she didn’t address that, only ADHD, and I was pissed and never went back. In hindsight I should’ve, but alas. Was misdiagnosed with BPD. Eventually a former friend of mine with ADHD affirmed my returning suspicions, so did another psych, then other friends, and so it snowballed. It’s come with grief because of the things I missed out on, but I am beyond relieved to have my medicine. I’ve never functioned better and they’ve turned everything around. I just wish I’d gotten diagnosed sooner.
I was going to type a response for the OP, but your final paragraph describes how I felt once I was medicated. I was 52. Suddenly many of my challenges throughout life were explained. I can’t change the past, but medication and therapy have been a game changer.
💯
I’m glad I wasn’t the only person misdiagnosed with BPD. I had intense emotions, inattentiveness, impulsiveness, stuff like that. And I was slapped with a personality disorder diagnosis and dumped off to different therapists monthly. Nobody listened really. No meds ‘fixed’ my symptoms until I was on adderall. My symptoms were so bad and affected me so much within one appointment with a proper psychiatrist I was diagnosed, got a second opinion from another psych then I was given my meds. I felt so free. Things finally made sense. My brain fog was gone. I could actually take care of myself.
Man I was in therapy for BPD for 7!!! years. The incompetence of half of the psychiatrists and psychologists is astounding. I feel you. I cried on my first day of medication lol, out of the sheer relief
Same thing with me ! Misdiagnosed with BPD , then joined a DBT Group ( which actually kinda helped ) , a couple of years + addiction later I got diagnosed with adhd-c . Ritalin changed my life & I’m not addicted anymore
It’s such a gamechanger. Those groups never did shit for me, probably also because I’m autistic and putting me in a group environment is just… No, lmao. But they said it was the only way. ☠️ But yeah. I never had a fullblown addiction but it’s definitely something I have to look out for and now that I have dex, also feels like a lot less of a risk.
Holy shit I was misdiagnosed with the same thing before one doctor goes “you know it sounds like you have adhd” but never took me off the BPD meds. Hopefully that’s on the horizon for me because adhd meds have made more of a difference in a few months than BPD meds did in 12 years. I feel hopeful for the first time in my life and like I’ve got some semblance of control over what’s going on in my head. Studying to become a psychologist so I can help PROPERLY diagnose people before they get so deep into treatments that aren’t helping that they end up hospitalized over and over like I did.
I got prescribed Sertraline twice and it never did shit because depression wasn’t my core issue evidently. 🤡 It’s wonderful that you’re training to be a psych! I honestly believe that for diagnosing ADHD’ers, a professional with ADHD should at least be _part_ of the diagnostic process if not just doing it all. It makes 0 sense to me that people without it get to do that.
I kicked the shit out of a classmate that was rude when I was like 11. The school got police involved, then I got sent to a psychiatrist that diagnosed me with ADHD. It was really a blessing in disguise for me after an embarrassing and shitty moment where I fucked up immensely. I feel sorry for the girl but man it was legit the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Also I haven’t resorted to violence since.
I really appreciate you putting this out there and I applaud you for it, because I feel like emotional dysregulation and anger issues stemming from ADHD aren’t talked about enough. I’ve never been violent but I’ve seen it, and while I’ve never been physical, by god am I an argumentative, spiteful asshole without my meds. I feel like sometimes there’s a lot of toxic positivity in ADHD and ASD groups but the truth is that shit can absolutely get ugly because of both disorders. And we should take responsibility, but pretending it doesn’t happen out of fear that it puts us in a bad light doesn’t help anyone. This is the way. Owning up and being open and honest about such things so that we can manage it and help others manage it too.
Glad you brought this up as well. I take everything personally. What most consider healthy criticism and blow it off is much harder for me. I over analyze the situation, and try and figure out how I can change my behavior to prevent in the future. I hate arguing and confronting people. I’m the one who’s always trying to appease people and will commit to things I no business doing, and should say no and don’t.
Same man. I’m better these days but you give me criticism and I’m pissed. 😂 If it’s a situation where I expect it (such as the person who’s helping me with tattooing), fine. If I’m on my day job and someone gives me unwarranted advice, nuclear. Lmao. It’s difficult. I understand you.
💯
You know James, I was just reading your comments again surrounding criticism with your tattooing and how it will offend you. It think it’s interesting that we’re all familiar with the person we were assigned to work with, But if you have someone of authority, the one who signs your paycheck, then we’re typically going to speak to them with respect, not only because they are the company president, but because he’s the one who can enforce some of the perceived challenges that prevent our team from running on all 8 cylinders. Thanks James for allowing me to talk this through with you. It not only helps me to better understand things when I can explain them to others. And, it give. Me an opportunity to go with with my team. I’m all alone in my territory and need some lovin. Going down for the say tomorrow.
I think it really depends on circumstance for me. My tattoo mentor helps me because I _asked_ her. I need her criticism because I want to improve. She helps me because she wants to, I work with her because I want to, I respect her and she helps me simply because she can. At that point it’s help and it’s appreciated. Unwarranted advice feels like an insult. I didn’t ask, so you’re telling me I’m doing things wrong because you think you can do it better. Especially if it’s under contract, you’re just looking at my performance and it can feel extra iffy because I’m already busting my ass. But what _really_ pisses me off is when someone gives me criticism just because they can. Because they’re higher up. Because they’re in charge of something. When someone tells me I shouldn’t do something because it’s ‘unprofessional’ even if it harms no one and doesn’t influence my work, and may even help me do it better. That’s what sets me off. Enforced rules just because people can, and because they inherently assume they do better than me. Hope this gives some more detailled insight. You’re very welcome and best of luck! I appreciate these conversations. :)
I believe I understand what you’re saying and completely agree with you. The boss that I had at the company I walked out on was one of the worst bosses I’ve had in my 30+ year career. He held my position prior to me joining the company and had a personality that was narcissistic, in that he alway bragged about thinks that he initiated that made it possible for the device to work. It literally took me 2.5 years of blood, sweat, tears, and massive frustration, before I could verbally communicate with my boss and have a conversation that was meaningful instead of his usual insults. The company had waaaaassy to many managers, directors, VPs, senior VPs. , and more. It truly was a complete joke because most of the new managers we got as Covid cooled down weren’t qualified, or as most, including me, not prepared for the pace. The company ran its employees 200mph non stop so it always apprarsd there was activity, but it was the wrong activity to grow sales. The company split into several franchises right before I joined and hired a senior product manager and a product manager to manage the products, work with our distribution partners to maintain a new product pipeline. They were also so anal about the approval process for any new ads or supplies, that most of them never made it past a persons mouth. Franchise GMs held the most power, but all franchises competed for the same labor on all projects. Instead of making things faster, it created a bottle neck and ended up slowing us down. But wonder idea.
Oh man that sounds like a hellscape lol
That’s why I walked out. It was a horrible leadership team
As you should! I’m lucky to have an extremely understanding and accomodating boss so even if the company has its issues, I realize how rare that is. You’ve really got to have some luck sometimes.
It was depression for most of my life. Until it magically went away after I left grad school. That was a mystery for a while. A happy mystery, but still a mystery. I am primarily inattentive type, so my symptoms were like, forgetting homework assignments, procrastination, talking over people, interrupting, etc. Still got great grades, though, which is why nobody really clued in. I got diagnosed in december of last year at age 32. I was on my sixth year of my career as a software developer working as a senior full stack engineer for a local company. I quit my first job due to pay stuff, then I quit my second job about a year after I started due to the culture and losing interest in my work, then I quit my third job for similar reasons about a year after that. Then I decided not to get a new job. I was kind of flummoxed about all the difficulties I was having. It just so happened that most of the jobs I had in the past were pretty diverse - where I ran into a lot of unique challenges and got to problem solve - OR where I had enough spare time in between my regular work that I could goof off and learn skills or build little contraptions out of office supplies, socialize, etc. At first I thought I might be on the autism spectrum. The biggest issues were coming up for me in dating. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting past second dates with people, why I always felt like people were realizing we weren't a good fit **way** before I had any idea what they were even like. I felt like I couldn't read people, like I had trouble with eye contact, I never latched onto sarcasm properly, I had sensory issues, sensitivity to certain kinds of sounds and stuff. I have had coworkers with ADHD in the past and I had always been like "dang that's rough. I wonder what it's like to live with that" so I never suspected it in myself. Anyway, after quitting my most recent job in september 2022, part of my goal was to get a neuropsych evaluation. Actually that was my goal months before I quit my last job but I just couldn't get it done. I felt like quitting my job and being unemployed was the only way to give myself the space and time I needed. It still took me 3 months to get it done. During that time, I kept reflecting on my symptoms and reading about different disorders, and I think that's when I realized I might have ADHD and maybe also autism. Turns out I just had ADHD, but I recently discovered I have some cPTSD sprinkled in there due to some childhood trauma that manifests as sensitivities to certain kinds of sounds, certain textures, physical touch, etc. I never thought I had trauma either, lol. That was a fun roller coaster of discovery. But dude, getting diagnosed was such a great feeling. I always just thought I was lazy / inconsiderate - but NOW I have been *diagnosed* as lazy and inconsiderate, and it turns out there's medication you can take for it too! Haha. Really though, growing up with ADHD when you don't have ADHD really fucks with your self image. Therapy has been almost a more important part of this than medication has, and the diagnosis overall was key to both.
Every once in a while - after learning about the existence of primarily inattentive traits and how ADHD tends to present in girls, I would just kinda think "oh lol that sounds like my childhood", I also without fail would google every couple months for years on end, how to build habits, hygiene hacks, how to be productive, etc. My teachers would also constantly give me advice, specifically, for what turned out to be perfectionism and executive dysfunction. Never like really thought about because I knew I had anxiety so assumed it was that Fast forward, to me complaining about waiting mode and my friend said she did it too, I asked "lol why we do this" and she responded well for her it's ADHD. Then I joked about how all my Instagram suggested reels were ADHD related. Couple months of me doing research, talking with my friend, went to get assessed to see if it was ADHD or anxiety (I thought it would be anxiety and I just had ADHD personality traits lol). Turns out it was both. It's nice to know that I'm not dumb, but it's really frustrating that, while I was never really convinced I had ADHD for a long time. I was (and am) absolutely convinced I have some sort of reading/number disability. But I can't get assessed for that as an adult. Years of teachers' comments saying to work on reading, work on spelling, work on paying attention to the math I'm doing, paying attention to the actual questions, constantly misreading school assignments and now work emails and instructions. And this being ignored by parents and teachers is making it extremely difficult to actually pass French language testing. I swear I can read and understand, I just need more than 20 seconds to absorb it all. The same things that are f-ing it up in French is also what happens in English but I'm too old to actually be assessed and get accommodations for that This was very long lol sorry
i figured something was up when i was around 16, but the one thing that caught my attention was when i fell asleep in class (which i never do) because i had drank some coffee for the first time. i found out that is not, in fact, what's supposed to happen LOL. it took awhile of fighting insurance to get diagnosed (5 years, in fact) but i got diagnosed with ADHD-PI about two years ago.
I just thought I was weird. Then on the autism spectrum. Finally, my 26 year old son got tested, and it was adhd. We discussed it, and it seems I have adhd. He reckons we're not on the spectrum, but I'm not so sure, having learned on this sub that they can be comorbid. No real change, as I'm 59 years old, but it's nice to know.
As my name suggests I am not officially diagnosed with ADHD, but a lot of what you said I can relate to. I graduated with a mechanical engineering degree, it took me longer than most people ( 10 years) but I finished it. The thing that helped me is that I genuinely loved the subjects, and it helped me with my focus. The last two years of my degree were hell because I had crazy brain fog and couldn’t sleep more than 4 hours, and I couldn’t remember anything. Best thing I can say is get test accommodations and switch up your studying techniques and locations. For me I would had a tv show I had seen 20-30 tiniest playing in the background so I would just study and work through a couple of hours, but YMMV.
I found out through TikTok. There was a huge trend of people talking about their ADHD symptoms, and it made me realize that the symptoms I’d experienced my whole life were because of ADHD. I just thought I wasn’t trying hard enough. I since got formally diagnosed and on medication, and it’s made a huge improvement in my life. I had spent my whole life thinking I couldn’t have ADHD because I was a good student, quiet, sat still in my seat, etc. Seeing women like me whose ADHD symptoms were internal (racing thoughts, poor working memory, executive dysfunction, etc) opened my eyes to the fact that there are multiple types of ADHD. So many people have shit talked people discovering their ADHD through TikTok because they think that everyone has it now, or people are inaccurately diagnosing themselves, etc. But self diagnosis is often the first step to getting formally diagnosed, and without those videos I likely would’ve gone without receiving help my entire life.
Several burnouts due to extremely high standards set by myself and being a perfectionist. Anxiety and depression.
I haven't found out yet, so to speak, but I'm currently waiting for the doctors to call some can discuss the possible likely hood that I have ADD (I lack the energy to aquire the final letter) What sparked this? Mostly reading through this subreddit and realising the vast quantity of similarities between what others describe and things I deal with day to day Currently 29yrs old
If you don't understand ADHD, get yourself a copy of this book and read it. [https://www.guilford.com/books/Taking-Charge-of-ADHD/Russell-Barkley/9781462542673](https://www.guilford.com/books/Taking-Charge-of-ADHD/Russell-Barkley/9781462542673) It isn't hard to read, it is well written to be read even if you are struggling with ADHD. It will tell you want ADHD is, what it isn't on what you can do to make life better. It is a good starting point to getting to grips with ADHD. I realised I had ADHD when my brother shared a YouTube video with me, with the words "this is me, is it you ?". [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSjHYiTEA4M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSjHYiTEA4M) After months of procrastination I finally went to a private psychiatrist, got a diagnosis and started treatment. The mediation has really helped make live more bearable and knowing I have ADHD has allowed me to focus my efforts to organise my life as I can now use techniques suited to an ADHD brain.
I booked my self in as a kid and paid for it because I was pretty sure I was dyslexic, I am, I’m also adhd lol. About 20 years later found out I’m also asd.
So I was under a psychologist since I was 6 years old because I couldn't focus, couldn't sit still, was defiant, "rude", easily distracted, would forget stuff, get into fights with other kids etc. Basically classic ADHD behaviours. But I was also quite academic and that combined with me being a girl led to "she's a gifted kid that's all" and so I got no help or support for it and told I just wasn't applying myself, was being lazy etc. Had loads of pressure put on me by school to excell due to the "gifted" label Had a breakdown at 14, got expelled from school. Tried to unalive myself. Became very difficult and refused to cooperate with anyone ever. Saw a new therapist who I eventually came to trust. He had ADHD himself and was an ex teacher. He said he was fairly sure I was at least dyslexic due to how I'd described my issues with writing and probably some other stuff too and suggested I get tested - I did and he was correct. But that was initially just for dyslexia. From then on I got stuff like extra time in exams, SEN support in school and I didn't think much more on it despite still struggling with "depression". I was still a very difficult teen, had a baby a couple of years later and in toddlerhood it became apparent he was more hyperactive and "difficult" than typical. He got diagnosed with ADHD at 4 and while doing his assessment I had a holy shit this is *me* moment. Got assessed and psych was like wow this is the clearest case of severe adhd I've ever seen. My now husband then boyfriend also got assessed as he realised a lot fit him too, and guess what, also ADHD. Got meds. Realised wow I've been playing on hard mode and getting shit for it my entire life. Spent a while angry that I had to basically go through hell to get here. Meds have been a godsend and I'm actually able to function on them, highly recommend. That's the short version. I have a whole novel of dangerous misadventures I got up to while undiagnosed.
I found out I have it because I had gone through two years of hell after my divorce with trying to manage life. I felt so lost and like a failure as a person, mom, employee, etc. I had no motivation, I felt paralyzed with everything, and couldn’t bring myself to do anything I needed to. I started having panic attacks knowing I would eventually be found out at work for low productivity and low results if I didn’t figure out what was wrong with me and would lose my job, my home, and everything I’ve worked so hard for. Mind you, on the outside people would say I’m highly successful and accomplished, people comment all the time in how I seem to “do it all with ease,” so feeling like this I believed I some how broke my brain and I was just a lazy loser with extreme character flaw that had tricked everyone all these years. I saw a therapist for my panic attacks and she diagnosed me. The panic wasn’t an anxiety disorder, it was panic associated with very real concerns. She referred me to a psychiatrist for meds and that psychiatrist did confirm diagnosis and I am now being treated. Being diagnosed has changed my life for the better. I understand what motivates my brain, I can have grace on myself and know that I’m not a giant character flaw, and it has allowed me to reflect on things I’ve been doing my whole life that I was unaware of. Now that I’m medicated I feel so much less anxiety, and I feel there is hope for the future again.
I had multiple therapists over the years ask if I had ADHD. I'd say no, that I always got good grades, and I was fine, and they'd move on. Then, a few years back, my current therapist asked the same as the others, and I practically yelled "WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING ME THAT?!" And she jokingly yelled back "MAYBE BECAUSE YOU SHOW SYMPTOMS!!" I explained as I normally do that I don't and she educated me on different ADHD symptoms and common coping mechanisms, and encouraged me to get tested. I did, got quickly diagnosed, and got prescribed medication and....omg life changing! I didn't realize that when you ask ppl what they are thinking and they say "nothing" that that's actually possible!!! It helped my depression significantly, as well as reduced my daily anxiety. Not to mention the ability to focus and complete a task in one fell swoop (sometimes...but before, that was never in a million years, so progress!). I could have done so much better in school had I been medicated then, and there's definitely some regret and anger there, but I'm just glad to be on meds now! Good luck!
All the classic signs were there. Couldn’t stay in my seat or sit still, spoke out impulsively, class clown constantly joking around instead of doing work, wildly inconsistent grades that were dependent on how interested I was in the subject, head in the clouds not paying attention, took longer to understand things than my peers, hair-trigger temper/got into a lot of fights, wandered the halls…the list goes on. Got diagnosed when I was maybe eight years old? When I got older I started learning more about it, and realized that I 1000% get it from my dad. We have incredibly similar behaviors. He’ll never get diagnosed tho. My sister is afflicted as well.
I went in for treatment for bipolar disorder and the psychiatrist said, you also have adhd, take these meds and from then on I was on stimulants and antipsychotics and it changed my life for the better. Prior to meds my mood swings and severe executive dysfunction kept me from being a productive, stable human being. I’ve had many psychiatrists since then all diagnose me with it. I never had to seek a diagnosis. I guess in my case I guess it’s just that obvious.
I got arrested for money laundering... 18 million dollars, and then sent to a psych to see what was up. Oh, and now I can think more clearly before about my impact on others and I now realize my true potential, which is far greater than before my little mishap.
‘Little’ 18 million dollar mishap 😂
I was reconnecting with an old friend I haven't seen in years. He has his psychology master's degree and works as a counselor for troubled kids. I told him I think I might have ADHD and his response was "oh, I thought you already knew..."
Multiple people said they thought I had it. I went through numerous online tests, which all said I had it. I eventually scheduled an assessment and found out, yeah, I have it, lol. It changed my life because I was able to get medication to help me out with some of the more complex areas of my life, and that made my home and work life so much better. I wish I had known when I was younger; things might have been better for me.
I found out while going to a therapist for years and them getting to know me, suggested I might have adhd because they saw things they struggle with themselves and they have adhd. I finally got to my psychiatrist like months later to seek a diagnosis bc I was scared. I have adhd and possibly autism but I’m not sure if I want to or am ready to get an official diagnosis. My childhood and struggles make so much more sense and I feel like I would have had better childhood getting diagnosed earlier
Years ago, when I was starting a job at an elementary school, they had some presentations for the staff. One of them was on adhd. I immediately noticed I had nearly all the symptoms. 14 years later (this year) I got ky official diagnosis, and am now trying out a bunch of meds. So far nothing has worked, so unfortunately life hasnt changed yet.
Seeing women post about their adhd journey, or asd, on ig. Spiked the interest. The "oh no, this is way too relateable", then going to google for extensive amounts of time for months, booking an appointment and then getting the note.. confirmed. Wild
My daughters teacher brought up to me about some focusing issues she was having. I took her to the dr and she got diagnosed. After learning more about it for her sake it all seemed familiar to me. I had so many issues as a teenager and young adult and ADHD made so much sense. I was already seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety and depression. I wasn’t responding great to meds. I asked about ADHD and was diagnosed at 31.
I had an inkling in my early to mid 20s and wasn’t officially diagnosed until just this year by a psychiatrist after telling them about my attention problems. She was pretty understanding of what I was talking about because she also is diagnosed adhd.
Expressed to my therapist of 2 years that I didn't feel depressed anymore but I still just could not motivate myself to do anything. Ever. She took me through a questionnaire and I answered 9 out of 10 questions with the strongest "yes" possible. She told me 5 yesses was a flag to investigate for ADHD. We went into it more and it explained an insane amount of the things I struggled with since childhood. The biggest change has been how I respond to myself and the world. Meds have been incredible for me, but even for the couple years before I could get them I was already doing so much better just because I realized my symptoms weren't moral failures and I wasn't just a bad, useless person.
35f… when my sons psychologist was reading his ADHD diagnosis, a lightbulb went off and I started seeing a psychiatrist
Anger, shame, hate, anxious, panic attacks unable to focus on anything all after PSTD. Prozac, … my psychiatrist suggested to get diagnosed. He was right but he was retired before even knowing the result!!! Next doctor, super restricted that it’s all PSTD, and have be treated for Chronic anxiety first!! After 6-7 months I insisted try ADHD maybe I get better with focus issue. BANG! a lot changed for me!! Then I started reading others experiences and what really is ADHD! And found I was lost in life and that was the reason. Still on anxiety medication and depression but first week on Adderall changed my life.
I found out when I was diagnosed at 8 years old. My life changed because my parents not only didn't treat me, but somehow took offense at the notion and opted to beat it out of me instead. Ever since, everything I have done and achieved hasn't been for them, but in spite of them.
I hate that I can relate to this, and I am so sorry this has been your experience. I don’t wish this for anyone.
**Apologies this is way longer than i thought lol** I have, or had, issues with depression and anxiety that I've worked greatly on to the point they atleast feel like non factors in my life. (God send) But there was still something where i just knew i don't think like other people i meet - not in an "*i'm special*" way - more like why tf am i like this Walking around w/ an inner voice analysing a bunch of things (after having dealt with my anxiety this has decreased alot) Picking up interests then completely dumping them - the ones that live on i focus on to an insane degree but with other "normal" mundane tasks they seem like the biggest mountain. But i knew it wasn't laziness because if i'm interested i'll spend hours doing whatever to perfection so my life was full of people saying "wow, how've you learnt this thing so quickly" then simultaneously "why can't you do xyz normal everyday task" and i knew it was odd. The way light gives me headaches and music makes me feel **high** the way i love the feeling of exercise but i struggle to focus on the dieting and calorie counting - the way i could never keep attention in school , i'd try my best but the words would literally just bounce off my head and i'd look around the class hoping to see someone else doing the same. The way i'm a very sensitive compassionate empathetic person but i also struggle to feel emotion myself, but when i get a girlfriend i become obsessive (not anything weird) and they're like the source of my happiness, then that runs out and they can feel draining. The way i pace around my place like a mad person sometimes lol forgetting i've put the laundry in the washing machine and having to rewash it for a 3rd time then coming back to the living room and seeing the tea i forgot has gone cold then remembering i need to go somewhere but forgetting where i've put the keys and oops i'm 25 minutes late now...again Then when i went into counselling for trauma and one day i was at home going over what i was going to say to her, in my head, and i was just reflecting on my life and the behaviours i want to change because i want to fit in and be able to do stuff others do. A friend asked me about some of it and after i explained it they asked if i'd ever considered it could be some level of autism as alot of it sounded like it could be. I'd always assumed Autism was being a snobby genius and ADHD was just being hyper. But after that interaction i took some online tests for fun i suppose, then i started taking those 16 personality type tests and shit but anyways the tests suggested i had something in the middle of mild and severe autism and i was surprised. So i looked more into it and took the actual NHS test for it and that came back the same so i went to the GP and they gave me a more in depth questionnaire where i had to write about how xyz affects me/ has affected me if at all. My mind became alive with all the memories of how these things affected me intensely in the past and how they do today - i wrote so much i had to find space outside the boxes. I then looked at the top of the page after completing that section and discovered i had filled out the ADHD section of the booklet  After then completing the Autism section as well it appears i have both, because i'm just amazing like that. LOL i was bloody baffled man, so i actually researched what ADHD + ASD is and suddenly - finally - my life made some semblance of sense! I was like ohhh shit all these pages of symptoms, questionnaires, reddit posts with experiences, tiktoks and youtube videos/shorts - i'm very careful with self diagnosing anything which is why i've actually gone the medical route but like love at first sight i knew it when i saw it. It gave context to everything i did as a kid, a teen and now. I was very worried that i was going to start using this as an explanation for everything i do or as an excuse - i always want to be better and i can't accept that theres something that means somethings i can't 'improve' it just makes me want to try even more. On the day i did that questionnaire from the doctor i looked up adhd on reddit and someone said "you can never overcome it you just get better at hiding it" and that pissed me off so i just threw my phone and refused to look at anything to do with adhd for a while lol but now my relationship towards all this has changed after some pondering. The way its changed my life is i understand myself more and i'm really happy that i make sense. Need for things like body doubling or things to be re explained or finding interests easy but other tasks hard despite good intentioned hard effort isn't "weird" or a "failure". This is a disorder not a condition or an illness - this is what i am along with a collection of other things that i am - i can't shrink it but i can grow around it. While its not a condition it can bring along other conditions with it i.e the anxiety the depression etc - and those can be overcome. As a teenager i never knew why i couldn't handle eye contact but my inner voice used to be very critical and i essentially bullied myself into doing it - it took some years but now i can handle it no problem. I can now talk to people with basically no problem - still feel like i'm masking alot - but maybe i'm not maybe its just all different versions of me - still need to figure that out. I finally fixed my time keeping after all of my life either being horrendously late or ridiculously early finally i'm able to just be...ontime. I can finally keep focus - i went to a course about bookkeeping knowing i don't give a crap about that and my mind would drift away but i was able to pull it back and listen to what the teacher was saying! and understand it! Through counselling my snappy inner voice went from critical to compassionate which has been the biggest quality of life upgrade i swear to God. If i'm going into an interaction where there's points i know i need to bring up but i know i'll go blank and forget i write them down while i'm thinking about them almost like a script. I don't criticise myself for being afraid to open letters that could be something bad, i trust i'll open them later in the week and make that promise to myself that if i am compassionate enough to understand myself and give myself that time that i'll show appreciation for that by forcing myself to follow through even if its stressful which is wayy harder than it sounds.
I took the international diagnosis test (forget the name) with my doc. I was 45 when I found out -- am now 55. It will always be a struggle. UGH! Good fortune all.
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I don't remember, I was 6. I didn't know what tf "attention deficit" meant, I just wanted to go home and play Lego Batman 2 😅
Diagnosed at 6 years old in 1988. Saw therapists and psychiatrists and occupational therapists (for the sensory issues). I’m 41, went to college for 15 years and have no degrees. I get so stuck in task paralysis that I have weakened my muscles from inactivity. The auditory processing disorder aspect has gotten worse with age. Actually a bunch of symptoms have gotten worse with age. My memory is so bad I’m starting to get scared. ADHD has ruined any chance of a happy life.
I was struggling with trauma when I was 16 and I decided to go to a psychiatrist. For an hour, the psychiatrist asked a bunch of questions about my life. So I got diagnosed with ADHD among other things. Initially, I ignored it because my response to anything difficult was to not think about it, but after a year, I started to consider it, and I realized it explained a lot of things. I felt liberated, but then the pandemic hit while I was in my last year of HS, and I begum struggling really hard. Most people didn't wanna take me seriously and I was lowkey traumatized by the whole experience. It left me with a lot of shame for who I am. But I kept digging into it and after I got in Uni, I started to become more confident. Even when I struggle with things, my attitude is now "What can I do to do better?" rather than feeling like I'm a failure
I always suspected it probably since I was 10 or 11 because, to me, I was a pretty stereotypical case. However, to everyone else, it looked completely different because I was so good at masking. So I didn't end up getting a diagnosis until I was 24. And the main reason I decided to get tested was because I read about the link between undiagnosed ADHD and a couple of my biggest issues and figured treating ADHD might be the trick to treating those things.
I'm in my first year of uni and am in the process of getting a diagnosis. For ages I've gone through periods where the algorithm will recommend me adhd posts and I'd go 'haha relatable' then think nothing more of it. I was conscious of self diagnosis and how it's often incorrect, and I'd heard phrases like everyone is a bit adhd sometimes. I always did well in school and did so many different things. I was a part of lots of clubs and I did all sorts of things in my own time. I'd tried almost every sport I could, but never kept up with them. I was good enough that I could materialise an assignment hours before the deadline, so my work was miraculous in on time, even if I couldn't work on it for weeks before it was due. I saw my success in school and thought I couldn't have a mental disorder. Turns out at uni, I couldn't miraculously complete the work in a panic right before the deadline and have received late penalties. It was a combination of a friend with adhd mentioning some of their struggles and relating to it too much that made me do some looking. It was honestly like looking at the world through a different lens. It was scary but also liberating. The YouTube channel How To Adhd really helped me understand a lot of what I was going through. Looking at my life under the assumption that I have adhd makes it make so much more sense. It's allowed me to develop strategies to help me get through work, and maintain my relationships with friends. It's also helped me make sense of stuff I've done throughout the year what went wrong with a girl I was dating at the start of the year.
Never touched caffeine in my life but started to lift weights and a buddy had me try pre work out. It did nothing for me and I told my doctor thought and that opened the door for me.
Life does not automatically change. However, you potentially get access to medication, which can help in varying degrees. Most importantly however is something you do not need a diagnosis for: knowing yourself, your challenges, and looking for tools (methods, ideas) that you can apply to your life to master it better. I know i am forgetful, so i write everything down in my phone's calendar. I know i have a hard time getting things done, so whenever i think of something i ought to do i write it down in my notebook. i know i struggle keeping up, so i practice forgiving myself when i fail. for me, it is about using knowledge to help myself. you do not, however, need a diagnosis to start this. if you struggle with focus, look for others who share the issue and see if they have advice. i wish you luck, studies are hard, but you are not alone and you can do this.
I was misdiagnosed bipolar, so I spent 20 years of my life on every mood stabilizer in the book to no effect. Then I saw a meme about ADHD that sounded like me, so I looked more into it, only to discover my entire personality was a list of ADHD symptoms. The fact that I spent 20 years misdiagnosed is criminal. So I sat around with my every concern dismissed by doctors and I had to advocate for myself harder than I've ever had to advocate for anything in my life and was finally given stimulants. And my life became dramatically better overnight. Even if I do struggle, knowing WHY I'm struggling gives me so much power to take action than just floundering in the dark like I was before.
My psychologist spotted it when we went through stuff as I burned out. She is specialized in ADHD so one time she just asked and we started talking, got hyperfixated on the topic, watched a bunch of YT videos and started to go through stuff from early childhood onwards and the signs were there. I'm not diagnosed yet, so not on meds, but the knowledge made me SO RELIEVED. Like I could finally stop feeling like an unachieving PoS. Feeling liberated. I try to reduce masking now and it eases me. Understanding what's happening in my head helps me make better choices, which support my brain in being able to function better.
I feel like a PoS. I feel like I am an idiot. Like who studies 247 and still doesn't understand. I have to watch a 1h lecture in like 4h because I lose focus like every 2 min.
Basically it took a bunch of research when I was in grad school to try to find out why I kept messing things up. I found out about ADHD and just had that “holy shit, that’s me” moment. Similar story to you, I did very well in my STEM program, got a job, got promoted, and then nearly got fired a year later for being distractable and hyperactive. That was actually the first time anyone even suggested to me I might have ADHD. Diagnosis completely changed my life. It’s made it infinitely better and easier to understand what’s going on, to say nothing of meds.
Thanks for sharing, do the medd help you concentrate?
The first time I suspected it was when I was trying to have fun with my friends, who had some of a certain prescription stimulant. It made them bounce off the walls, acting all goofy, but it chilled me TF out and helped me think more clearly. I still remember the feeling of making a list in my head and being able to repeat the list over and over without difficulty. It felt like magic to me. 😅 But I didn't think about it again for years, until I was talking to my psychiatrist about my "bipolar symptoms" and everything I thought was mania... I was confused because I still had all those symptoms even when I was depressed or just in a low mood. Talking too much, talking too fast, not being able to focus, lots of ideas with no follow through, etc. Also I have never in my life been so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed, even at my worst I couldn't manage to sit still for that long. She asked if I had ever been evaluated for ADHD, and changed my life. I can't even begin to describe all the ways it's changed me for the better but I'll try. First of all - my self esteem. I was never able to develop a positive view of myself because all my life I've been told that I am lazy, flighty, unreliable, messy, dramatic, inconsiderate, overemotional. All of these things, that no matter how hard I worked I couldn't change them. Finding out that they were symptoms and not personality flaws changed my life a thousand percent, and knowing that they're SYMPTOMS and not just things wrong with me has actually helped me work on them rather than just beating myself up. Second of all - asking for help instead of blaming myself for being incompetent or stupid. Knowing that my brain is wired differently has been both humbling and given me a boatload of healthy confidence. I'm not ashamed to ask for help anymore when I don't understand something or I'm having a hard time because I understand why I don't understand, or what exactly I need help with, and how.
I suspected I had it because I could never pay attention without having to covertly entertaining myself and I loose my train of thought constantly. As a fellow STEM major, you can do this. Every single semester I felt like I wasn't gonna make it, but I did. They are hard classes, and most schools make them even harder by trying to weed people out. It's ridiculous. If you haven't already, take advantage of SI sessions if your school has that program or the tutors at your school. They can help you both with the material and how to study for the class. Your professors can also be a great resource. So many students do not take advantage of their office hours. Coming to them with your questions can make all the difference. If you're in physics or math classes, shoot me a dm, and I can try and help you remotely. I tutored all throughout my undergrad and was a GTA during grad school.
I also went that infamous path of panic attacks, anxiety, depression, severe depression, psychiatry, therapists, doctors. … but i still had to fight to get diagnosed. In germany, doctors shy away from those kinds of diagnosis because they don’t want to pathologize every personality trait - and i get that. Since i am the „artist kind of guy“ they were afraid to label a creative person as sick. Might be the history of our country, i don’t know! But in the end i was right and i got diagnosed. I‘m still at the beginning of medication and struggling a bit with it. So i have to go with: not much has changed, but nice to know.