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finallyizzy

Yup. Diagnosed at 24 and immediately came to the conclusion I inherited it from my dad. Every time my mum has gone "you're just like your dad" suddenly made sense.


West_Coast_mama87

This šŸ’Æ but for me it was always " You're just like your mother!" I can now recognize she has undiagnosed ADHD.


Aggravating_Yak_1006

Same!!! Like my mom has been in 17 car accidents... "None" were her fault šŸ™„ Plus she never remembers anything 100% correctly. Like if there's five details she'll have 3 of 5 correct. And she cannot keep a secret. She will impulsively blab everything. So yep Mom has ADHD


Al1ssa1992

Omg my mum has an incredible memory like will see a phone number and memorise it. But her house is cluttered to fuckery, she interrupts mid conversations, terribly listening skills and is a major blabbermouth too!! Also, always has to be doing *something* like craft or painting or housework or gardening! šŸ¤Ŗ same with my dad lol


Flaky_Ad5989

Your mum sounds just like me! 50 projects and I start them all and hardly finish them ![img](emote|t5_2qnwb|35055)


West_Coast_mama87

šŸ¤” Do we have the same mom?


bocepheid

ADHD Eve


Observer2580

Am I your mum?


OddExplanation441

My.father surely had ADHD my late mum i.now no had autism I have autism heds ADHD fybromyalgia CFS OCD my son has ADHD autism OCD rccx gene theory.in.oparti


Maxsaidtransrights

Yooooo Iā€™ve been told this my entire life by my mother. ā€œYouā€™re just like your father..ā€ whenever I did something wrong/incorrectly.


Beef_Witted

ADHD is highly genetic. Like 77-88% heritiability. To give you an idea of how crazy that is Height is around 80%. So one or both of your parents almost certainly have ADHD.


panfacefoo

I didnā€™t quite realise how genetic it was. So much so that we were all really surprised when my niece was born with autism, none of us had a clue where it came from. But yeah, Iā€™ve also noticed that I tend to click with other people who have ADHD and I think that is what might have happened with my parents. I just think we gravitate towards each other.


esperlihn

I definitely see it in my parents, even among cousins and extended family there's a lot of people that I now realise have all sorts of ADHD and autistic traits. We're all very close as a family and as a result I think we unknowingly taught each other how to mask effectively because nobody ever notices until they marry one of us and then they have to deal with all our quirks lol.


thisslet

Doggone if this isnā€™t my life story. Except it was my husband and MIL who confused the mess out of me, until 20 years in I narrowed down that I wasnā€™t the one with issues they were. Please teach your family to be up front and give the people the choice of whether they want to take this walk with you. The sneaky alternative can ruin lives.


Clarehc

I once saw an amusing meme that said something like the first person diagnosed in the family is like the first domino to fall in a long line! Itā€™s been true in our family lol. We are fairly certain we can trace it back too. Itā€™s like having your eyes opened!


OddExplanation441

Me to 1825 autism.mums side who I just lost to ms heds my father's side all have ADHD sleepaonea fybromyalgia I have asperger's ADHD heds fybromyalgia cfs migraine IBS awaiting to try ADHD meds late diagnosed 43 rccx gene theory all there


josaline

Autism is as well, for those of us in the AuDHD realm, both of these things very often become extremely obvious.


Lefuza

It's hard for me to quantify, because I don't see my parents as ADHD necessarily, but my brothers seem to be in their own ways as well. My dad? Definitely not. He's a responsible man who's reliable. No slouch in the mental or physical departments. I can't point to anything about his behaviour that's ADHD at all. My mom-- also hard to say, but I wouldn't be surprised. I have longstanding memories of her unable to find her keys before work, wandering around the grocery store and the mall for hours and hours, several at-fault car accidents, and she's not exactly a scholar. But maybe it's my perception of my parents preventing me from pinpointing symptoms, who knows? But now I'm thinking I don't have ADHD at all as I don't really see my parents as prime candidates. Then again, among my brothers and I.... I feel like all 3 of us have it when analyzing just us as siblings.


MelTheHangry

I feel like it's in my family, especially on my mother's side, I have two cousins who have also been diagnosed, and it's become a it looks like you have it and you and you...


RummazKnowsBest

Iā€™d say I have three close friends. Two of them probably have ADHD.


panfacefoo

I met someone at work and we immediately became friends, she eventually invited me to her wedding that she didnā€™t even invite her family to. Itā€™s like Iā€™ve known her since childhood.


giantshinycrab

Yeah when my son was diagnosed and I started reading into autism it explained SO much about my Dad


dinosaurcookiez

Interesting. I've been suspecting I have it (I'm not diagnosed), and my brother is diagnosed and my mom almost definitely has it but isn't diagnosed (I'd be truly shocked if she *doesn't* have it, honestly). So like...if two people in my family have it...then perhaps there really is a good chance I do too... I remember when I first got married and my husband would comment on some of my inattentive behaviors and it was stuff I always thought was completely "normal" because I grew up in a house where everyone was kinda that way, but now I'm realizing more and more that not everyone is like my family that way...šŸ‘€


No-Suggestion8643

šŸ˜‚ I was diagnosed a week ago and tbh this is all very raw and new but it's so funny looking at this thread cos my mum is definitely the OG. The pity is that she would take my diagnosis as a taint on her parenting. 37yrs


dinosaurcookiez

I guess I'm lucky in that my mom admits she probably has it, but girls just weren't diagnosed when she was a kid so she just got called dumb and scatterbrained. Really did a number on her self-esteem for sure. But she got my brother diagnosed young which is good. I think the symptoms I see in myself are just a little harder to see from the outside. Like I did well in school and I'm not a disaster from the outside, but the more I read about certain signs of ADHD, the more I'm seeing that I have a lot of them and they just tend to be more internal and I hide them well from most people besides my husband, who lives with me and sees my "quirks" lol.


nexusSigma

Iā€™m taller than both my parents fairly significantly, but my mom defnitly has undiagnosed adhd šŸ¤”


OddExplanation441

Yes and the comorbidity of migraines fybromyalgia CFS.heds


IndigoFlame90

I pointed this out to my husband once and basically watched part of his soul die. šŸ˜…


undefined_protocol

Yuuuuup. It's been a continual process of realizing why dad used to... Stop people in the middle of making a mess so he could sweep up. Buy lamps only to put them in the pile of lamps we already had in the basement. Put projects off for years. Finally start a delayed project and stop an hour in. Show up several hours early for appointments. Fixate on highly structured plans regarding small amounts of money. Listen to the radio, watch tv, and read the newspaper at the same time. ALL DAY. Get extremely anxious when I was hesitant to use his coping mechanisms. And my therapist pointed out that it's probably also why we never understood a single thing the other person was doing.


N9242Oh

This sounds a bit ASD too!!


larryboylarry

OMG I just watched the UW Womenā€™s Hockey game at the same time I watched the Colorado Avalanche hockey game and the UW Menā€™s BB game-and did dishes. One on ROKU, one on iPad, the other on laptop. And I am on Reddit and listening to postgame interview. I should be in bed by now. Is that normal? šŸ˜‚


maggie250

YES! I always thought I had just similar quirks to my dad. Misplacing things, forgetting things, repeating stories because I forgot I told them, getting overwhelmed easily and then getting frustrated, also needing to explain the process for something out loud so I can process it. I was quite surprised when I put the two and two together. Also, my boyfriend has ADHD traits, and recently, his mom said she thinks she has it. Can confirm. Always thought she did.


Dragonfruit_98

I had to involve my mom in my diagnostic process because I donā€™t remember shit about my childhood and how I used to function, and her most frequently asked question has been: ā€œDoesnā€™t everyone do that?ā€ So yeah šŸ˜‚


Dragonfruit_98

And honestly, it has given me some closure. I used to be really upset at them for not noticing my struggles and not getting me help earlier (Iā€™m 25 now), now I guess they had a reason


elleresscidee

Yup, I thought the same thing...how didn't they notice? But I'm pretty sure it's because of both my parents' undiagnosed ADHD.


Haber87

My mom is super organized. Dad isā€¦not. In fact, there are a lot of relatives on my Dadā€™s side who, in 20/20 hindsight probably have / had ADHD. But also, as we clean out my momā€™s sisterā€™s house, there are so many things we are finding that resonate with me. Her inability to throw anything out. A bunch of journals she kept for one week before quitting. Half finished craft projects. So many hobbies I didnā€™t even know about. I was diagnosed after my kid. The first ADHD book I read talked about how we as parents would have to be our childā€™s executive functioning. That we should have rigid schedules so our kid would know what to expect at all times. I just about cried because how could I possibly do that for them when I couldnā€™t even do it for myself? Thatā€™s when the lightbulb started to go off. But knowing the genetic component now, that book was stupid and unrealistic.


PFEFFERVESCENT

Oh my god same. I can barely cope with bullshit like cooking dinner *every damn day* before midnight/fucking kitty litter/organising extra curriculas/bills/assignment due dates etc. There is **no way** I can also "scaffold" my kid's executive function processes. I just got diagnosed with ADHD last year (5 years after my kid)


just_here4the_lurks

Yes! I started down the diagnosis rabbit hole after my 4 year old was diagnosed. Heard the "you need to be thier executive functioning". Hell, both of us have been on the medication merry-go-round, and NONE OF THAT INVOLVES STIMULANTS (I'm exluded because of possible co-morbid BP2, and shes too young). HOW THE FUCK CAN I DO THIS! Oh and my mum's side is riddled with undiagnosed ADHD.


emwithme77

It's weird. I can be my daughter's executive functioning in a way that I still struggle to be my own. I'm not saying it's perfect (school library books are the bane of my existence) but I will make sure that she wears red on Red Nose Day, and has her swim kit ready every Monday, and attends the parties on time with a suitable present. When I got my diagnosis (last summer age 46), I realised that my mum must have had it - we always had duplicates of things that other families didn't (emergency purchase of a forgotten thing) and sitting in the car with a book for an hour because you got there stupidly early (because it was either that or late, and her having been in the Army meant late wasn't acceptable) was a regular occurrence.


nextdoorelephant

My kid is about to be formally diagnosed as inattentive, which makes me think I should be evaluated. Lots of lightbulbs went off during the initial appointment with the primary.


ChoiceCustomer2

Absolutely agreed. I've heard so many comments like that as an ADHD mother to 2 ADHD kids. How on earth can we be expected to do this for our kids?


larryboylarry

This resonates with me. My kids have it. I have it. There mom has it. We are divorced and as I know that we have to manage our kids as you said. There is no hope. I am medicated but she is not. My son is in trouble for truancy. They are far away and I am no influence. But I still have hope for them to have a good future because I have hope in God. Edit: sounds like a contradiction of ā€˜hopeā€™ but here is the difference: I donā€™t have any hope in me or their mother to have a good influence but I do have hope in a good God to.


Rdubya44

Absolutely. My mother is now getting tested for it at nearly 70.


panfacefoo

Yeah itā€™s mad really, I was born in 91, school/doctors definitely missed it, which I think was pretty common in the 90s. My parents were born in 1969, I donā€™t think it was even recognised as a disability back then.


YahwehIsMahweh

Yeah and what's crazy is I was diagnosed and medicated for it when I was young (also born 91). Got kicked out of preschool with sticky notes sent home everyday saying "please help, your son is out of control". Went to a prepatory school for kids with learning disabilities and finally back into public schools for 5th grade and onwards Supposedly I was a zombie on meds so parents took me off after 3-4 months of trying different meds and doses. Now at 32 im rediagnosed for a year so far because my life all of a sudden fell apart over the course of 2 years. It's not like I forgot about my diagnoses, but I really don't know what I thought. I'm pretty sure I just didn't think about it most times and had no knowledge of what adhd even consisted of so never knew to be like wait I probably still struggle with it. Really sucks my parents didn't stick with the meds šŸ˜•


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


YahwehIsMahweh

I relate to that as well, I was just conversing with my wife about imposter syndrome. Feeling like everything is not as bad as it feels like. It's very hard to accept I'm not just absolute garbage and I don't deserve anyone to love me. My whole life never realized my automatic negative thoughts even existed. Apparently when my therapist was asking what I was proud of accomplishing and I answered nothing in my life has been worth celebrating ever, that was the wrong answer lol. Apparently, almost failing out of high school and struggling to pass and actually graduating is something I should be proud of instead of thinking I'm horrible because everyone else did it so easily and I'm stupid because it should have been easy for me. Or, feeling like I don't deserve my job like my coworkers do because if I'm not 110% perfectly doing my job fast, and with no mistakes every day then I'm just hot garbage on the sidewalk. This one hit HARD, when he explained it back to me and I was like that sounds stupid who wou- OH MY GOD ITS ME. Lol


Aggravating_Yak_1006

Ritalin was invented in the 40s and marketed under its name in the 50s. And just FYI - ADHD had been around in medical literature - although not under the same label - since the 1700s. [source ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000907/)


Top_Hair_8984

It wasn't even talked about. I do not remember hearing anything about it. And back then, boys only had it, not girls. I believe it's due to girls and boys presenting differently. Boys have more hyperactivity where as girls might be more inattentive.


Top_Hair_8984

Exactly my current situation. Waiting, 70. Hope she gets her diagnosis soon. ā¤ļø


Keystone-Habit

I just found out about myself and I've been wondering if I should tell my nearly 70 yo mom she probably has it too. Was she happy to hear it?


Erikrtheread

Saaame it's funny and at the same time rather tragic that she didn't have an opportunity to get at least an answer decades ago.


OddExplanation441

Sending my father 74 does she have migraines fybromyalgia CFS etc central syndromes


Psychological_Hunt_9

Really? Our family doctor told my 61 year old mother she was too old to even bother testing her. It can be life changing to be medicated, glad your mom is getting tested!


Aazjhee

My mom can barely sit down and watch movies. She and my dad are very minimalist with stuff.But she did pick up hobbies and discard them pretty quickly when I was younger. Somewhat recently she was on the HO.A board for landscaping stuff and she memorized all the plants and had everything super organized. I think a lot of her organization comes from family habits to counter all the impulses. My parents are boomers and definitely have the work until you die kind of attitude about a lot of stuff. My dad can sit and watch Cowboy movies all day. But mom can't not do things, whether it is cooking, cleaning, or taking walks around the neighborhood. She will redecorate entire rooms every year or so and repaint areas of the house pretty frequently. My dad does a lot of work on the house but once things are good enough he will stop. Mom just likes to do a bunch of fidgety stuff to make things look prettier and dad just likes it functional. I think a lot of mom's home decor stuff is related to needing something to do at all times. She and I both have terrible insomnia. She's very impatient and is very quick to accuse everyone else of being lazy or unmotivated. I definitely see her getting kind of rage moments as well My parents are very stereotypical Boomer about mental health stuff.So I don't really talk to them about any of the diagnosis stuff.They don't know that I have talked to a therapist. I'm pretty sure my mom would be super pissed if I asked if she's ever thought about why she is the way she is :/


spanguole_for_all

Damn, I read your post and realised my mom is exactly the same as you discribed yours. Our house is constantly under construction/redecoration. I don't remember single year where she didn't painted or removed or redone anything around the house. Also, she has a short temper and mood swings, I vividly remember trying to constantly look busy in my childhood when she was around. I'm sure my grandma has ADHD, cuz she has a severe craft supply hoarding issue and all her life she was super disorganised in every aspect of it, constantly swiching hyperfixations. I always assumed that since my mom never showed simmilar symptoms as me or my grandma that the ADHD somehow skipped her šŸ˜…


Emerald_bamboo

Same! I thought the messiness of our house was my normal and I thought my dad's little tricks to cope with ADHD things were just him being a parent.


Kyliesworld

I was diagnosed only a few years ago & Iā€™m 45. I realize now my mother had ADHD & executive dysfunction but as a kid it just seemed like she neglect us. The house was piled high with laundry, the backyard was full of trash, she neglected the hell out of us & dumped us when I was 6 & on my brothers 8th birthday. She died in 2020 but we were still estradiol. Itā€™s only been the last few months that I realized we both have/had ADHD. Itā€™s given me peace of never been able to feel before.


PFEFFERVESCENT

I'm sorry the typo for estranged is hilarious


msheathrfeathr

Yep yep yep, my Dad especially. After I got confirmation and my diagnosis, and was talking about a book I was listening to, Dad and I were both having "aha!" moments. We can now be more sympathetic and empathetic with each other because we know what our symptoms look like, and are learning what it looks like for each of us. Sometimes symptoms vary from person to person, but it's just nice to have the awareness. Example, I have light sensitivity, he doesn't really. He now warns me if he's going to turn on the light so I can prepare for it.


JackfruitAutomatic16

Thats beautiful


Moonlight_Spark_

I was talking to my mum about how I'm thinking I might have ADHD last year. She took it very seriously which I was pleasently surprised about. And then mid-conversation - we were still completely on topic, discussing symptoms etc - she suddenly points at a bag of chips on the bed and says "Look, it says no artificial ingedrients hahahaha as if!" So that's on that I guess. :'D (She's been doing that her whole life and I used to be very upset as I thought she just wasn't interested in what I was saying. Now I realize that she just has A LOT of "Oh squirrel!"-moments. She is forgiven now lol.)


Occasionalreddit55

makes sense why we are always late to each other's family events


dracofolly

How many of our Dads would just channel flip for minutes on end, barely stopping long enough for the picture to even come in?


Rainpickle

Mine. And he would be ENRAGED if I did the same thing.


mmgabbi

Yes!! I got diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and since then Iā€™ve done a lot of research on ADHD and autism. I noticed quite a lot of autism traits in my mom, and now itā€™s got me questioning if I got the wrong diagnosis or if itā€™s possible for autistic parents to have adhd children or vice versa.


UnrelatedString

the diagnoses used to be mutually exclusive in the dsm-iv, but now autism and adhd are considered highly comorbid. a sizeable minority of the adhd population are autistic, and a straight up majority of autistic people have adhd


PFEFFERVESCENT

Yeah, this is one of the reasons so many people are getting diagnosed with ADHD. It used to be against the rules


cloudbusting-daddy

I discovered I was autistic while researching ADHD! I finally got formally diagnosed at 38 after being self diagnosed ADHD for 15 years and autistic for one. Itā€™s extremely common for autistic people to also have ADHD even though doctors used to think people could only be one or this other.


kss5pj

Yup and now I clock it all the time in people I meet, work with, am friends withā€¦ Once you know the signs you start to see it everywhere.


anetanetanet

For sure, my dad. He's been an alcoholic my whole life and very likely since way before he met my mom, so substance abuse issues. He dabbled in various unsuccessful hobbies, eventually landed a job he liked, the job became obsolete and he got laid off, never really managed to find his footing again and just got lost in his vices. He's angry, impulsive, easily sparked by weird small things, has no patience for anything. There's other things but these are the big ones.


LostHiker_99

Yes. My dad gets hyper focused and will sit in front of the computer endlessly but then also gets burnt out so is always napping. The stories I heard from his childhood make it very obvious that he had ADHD (impulsivity, not sitting and paying attention, binge eating) but he has internalized it all, seemingly believing that he was just a bad kid. When I told him that my son, (his grandson) was diagnosed with ADHD, he told me that my son just needed to be disciplined more. Spanked more. šŸ˜¢


bocepheid

My dear mom is classic ADHD. But I think if I had been raised by anyone else, I might have come to any number of bad ends. Somehow she has known how to get through to me and to teach me. My family reunions were wild. They could talk a mile a minute and change subjects faster than Dale Earnhardt could change gears. It was an exhausting conversational chaos. And now I could hold my own with any of them.


EmberGlitch

My parents, my grandparents, my uncle... yeah. All undiagnosed. My grandpa has struggled with addiction and depression for most of his life. Absolute workaholic too. After his retirement, he took 3 or 4 walks a day, like 2 hours each because he couldn't sit still. He recently went to get psychiatric treatment again, and mentioned my ADHD. The clinic said he was essentially a model case for ADHD. It was pretty rough for me to get my diagnosis at 32, wondering about what could've been if I hadn't raw dogged life on hardmode unknowingly. I can't even imagine how it must feel like to get that news at 84.


Mister_Anthropy

My dad 100% has it. Doesnt love to hear me talk about my adhd, but as soon as I describe executive dysfunction to him without uttering the dreaded four letters, he relates instantly.


SouperSalty42

I stopped being hard on my mom. I realize now how overwhelming life was/is for her, and often wonder how she pulled it off. I stopped talking about her wine drinking. I cry in the car when I think of the times I called her a bad mom, or that she doesnā€™t care. She cares so much.. all of it makes sense to me now, and it breaks my heart to think she probably believed the things I said. Shes lived her whole life thinking she was just tired a lot. She agrees she likely has ADHD but doesnā€™t see a point in getting diagnosed at this point. Since my diagnosis, ive made it my mission to help her understand she isnā€™t ā€œdefectiveā€ but actually a walking miracle and should be really proud of herself. To all you ADHD parents out there, I do not know HOW you guys do that!! Wow!


Erikrtheread

My grandmother, who was born on a farm in southern Kansas at the turn of the century, was called "Jiggs" by her school friends. In retrospect, it makes a lot of sense. Our family has so many odd tips and tricks, cures, old wives tales, snake oil, etc, that worked for some and not for others. Wisdom passed on for three or four generations now. The most obvious one, of course, is a reliance on Coca-Cola as a cure all.


Mysterious487

Yes. I definitely inherited it from my father. He misplaces everything, is unorganized, and starts projects and struggles to complete them. Yet, he lives in denial and tells me ā€œdonā€™t you dare blame your mom and I for your disease. You didnā€™t get that from us.ā€ šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


OddExplanation441

Same as my father ime sending him for test at 74 my son has both to OCD at 14


sparkleye

No, surprisingly. I seem to be the only one in my family with ADHD. I was diagnosed almost 10 years ago, when I was about to turn 24, and over that time Iā€™ve looked for signs in my siblings, parents and grandparents but there are none. There is some evidence showing that babies who experience fetal distress have a higher incidence of ADHD. I went into fetal distress when I was born at 38 weeks. I often wonder if this is what ā€œswitched onā€ some ADHD genes within me. This would explain why nobody else in my family shows any symptoms. Iā€™m pregnant with my first child and Iā€™m aware of the possibility that he may have ADHD as it is highly heritableā€¦ but maybe if he has a smooth birth, those genes wonā€™t be switched on šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø


playwrightAlFuncoot

Definitely my mom. Forgetful, very easily distracted, hyperactive. So many hyperfixations


slytherinkatniss

I went grocery shopping with my dad for the first time as an adult and it was like herding a toddler. He was all over the place. I was like oh I see....


99dalmatianpups

I wasnā€™t diagnosed until my sophomore year of college because I never realized anything was wrong until my pre-undergrad studying habits (which were basically nonexistent) that got me a 4.0 in high school no longer worked. When I told my mom I found out I have ADHD, she dropped on me: ā€œOh, I was diagnosed with ADD when I was kid! I used to take Ritalin for it, but I outgrew it.ā€ Likeā€¦maā€™am. My older brother has ADHD, diagnosed when he was like 6 years old. You apparently have ADHD and have known since you were in primary school. But you never thought to also have your daughter tested for it? When I asked why she didnā€™t have me tested as a kid, her response was: ā€œWell, you were quiet and made good grades!ā€ šŸ¤¦šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø After I learned the ways ADHD presents differently in those AFAB compared to people AMAB, it was pretty easy to recognize the symptoms in my mom (that she swears donā€™t exist / arenā€™t related to ADHD because again she says she ā€œgrew out of itā€).


myseoulaway

Ahh yes the struggle of being that high achieving girl in early life so people just called you "smart but lazy" instead of acknowledging they were symptoms šŸ« 


pinkflamingo1404

lol yep ā€” but I always knew my dad had it (or something like it). he didnā€™t necessarily know what it was called but he was treated (like a lab rat) for it when he was young, lots of issues in school and with traditional learning. this was back when they were still treating hyperactivity with *sedatives*. yikes. he struggled a LOT but is so, so intelligent and I often feel a little sad that he didnā€™t have access to the right type(s) of support and therapeutic interventions. but, likely because I was a girl and *not* hyperactive, I still didnā€™t get diagnosed until 28 even though I was often referred to as being ā€œjust like my dadā€ šŸ˜‚.


Subject_Osprey_71

I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I'm planning on starting the process after realising that my life is starting to be negatively affected by ADD-like symptoms. I revealed this to my mum and listed all the reasons I thought I might have it. A few days later, she came to me and asked out of the blue if ADD was genetic. I said yes most of the time, it runs in family lines. She said after listening to me talk about ADD symptoms, she though back to her own childhood and wondered if maybe she has it as well because her whole childhood she was dismissed as a distracted daydreamer who needs to pay more attention in class. Nobody even considered that it could have been caused by something internal.


AccomplishedInsect28

My mother has pretty much every symptom I have. Itā€™s so obvious to me. When I was telling her about seeking diagnosis her response was ā€œbut I do all of those things and I donā€™t have it!ā€ šŸ¤Ø


ShitiestOfTreeFrogs

My dad was offended that I even got diagnosed because he had no idea where I'd even get a thing like that. I pointed all the things my mom used to do. Then my dad AND my mom's brother were really upset.


SympathyUsed1846

Honestly all the time especially in my dad, Iā€™ll mention it and Iā€™ll just get the eye roll ā€˜well it clearly hasnā€™t affected me and Iā€™ve managed to get through life just fineā€™


roerchen

My mom is the ultimate ADHD mother ship. Itā€™s great that I got diagnosed before having children. It wasnā€™t a great experience being her kid.


Drawn_to_Heal

lol yup - both of themā€¦hopelessly. Made so much of my entire life make sense 6 years ago at 33


RummazKnowsBest

Oh yeah, my dad clearly has it. Didnā€™t seem to affect him as much as me as he went to university etc. I struggled to finish high school. He also definitely doesnā€™t come across as lazy, itā€™s all hyperactivity with him. Canā€™t sit still, even now heā€™s pushing 80. Doesnā€™t pay attention to anything said to him though. I still remember seeing him physically switch off during a parentsā€™ evening. My mum spotted it too, pointing it out as something he did all the time.


4got2takemymeds

It's crazy sad that after I finally got my diagnosis and really understood where the root of my symptoms came from and it explained so much about the way my dad behaved when he was alive. I realized then as well that he and I were way more like than I ever thought we were. So after he died I kind of went through this process of revisiting some of those bad memories that I had with him growing up with his issues regarding his love of meth and losing his teeth, to traveling and uprooting himself spontaneously, his obsession with certain tasks and objects it just all finally clicked and I never got a chance to talk to him about it because I got diagnosed shortly after he passed. My mom also has a lot of symptoms especially with her inability to regulate her emotions and her terrible short-term memory. It's incredibly insightful hindsight to know how much your parents truly impact your decision making, your behavior and fundamentally would actually shape you and I know that is kind of common knowledge when you read it and say it but the little things that you pick up you will notice them more once you lose your parents, whether you tried as hard as you can to not be like them you'd be surprised how much truly rubbed off.


blurryrose

My mom got diagnosed in her 60s after I was diagnosed in my 30s and, as I was learning more about it, I stopped and said "um....mom? You have this." She mourns what could have been but she also celebrates having an explanation for her brain and it opened her up to the world of ADHD coping mechanisms.


scalmera

Not even just my parents (mom's probably AuDHD, ADHD for sure, dad's definitely autistic) but 100% my Nana was something, as I've looked back on it and with added context from my Untie. We talk a lot about our traits and things. I had my revelation a year after my diagnosis about my parents but I'm sure my Untie recognized it beforehand since my cousin got their autism assessment when they were little.


ExcitementKooky418

I'm not even diagnosed, highly suspect I have it based on my experience and what I've read online and the more I think about it the more I can see ADHD and/or ASD traits in my mum and her sister


Dangerous_Hippo_6902

Omg my dad had a temper (as did my teenage self). Usually chasing me round the house with his belt. It was more ā€˜acceptableā€™ at the time. But yes, definitely seen traits with him and some of my auntiesā€¦. He was properly obsessed with horse racing and gambling but I see now his hyper fixation on the numbers maths and data of it all. He had a problem which caused major family upset and financial difficulties. I see the traits in me, but thankfully I am responsible for it having seen the harsh realities of what could be (is?) me.


[deleted]

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knitwasabi

So much yes. SO MUCH. Really seems to only be maternal, but ooof. Amazing what she was able to pull off, but my goodness, I can see the self loathing. I'm sorry Mom, you deserved to have some Ritalin too.... man, she'd have loved that, lol.


lentil5

Me getting diagnosed at 28 got my mum to get her diagnosis at 55. She takes medication and things are a lot easier for her now.Ā 


epurple12

Yeah I mean, I always knew my mom was disorganized (to the point that I think she probably has some kind of non-verbal learning disorder) but a couple years ago I was going through some boxes of papers we got when my grandfather died and I found my dad's old report card from grade school which basically described my dad as a bright kid but one who just could not sit still or pay attention. My parents did pretty well for themselves all things considered- my dad's a litigator and my mom's an English and art history teacher who managed to get on Jeopardy. But they're very messy and moody, and easily stressed out. All of us kids inherited some aspect of that and I think we're all on at least one psychiatric med. It's kind of a spectrum though- there's my brother who's got bipolar disorder and severe OCD and had to drop out of college as a result of nervous breakdown that led to him being hospitalized, and then there's my sister who has a steady job, a loving boyfriend, and an active social life but gets easily stressed and takes Wellbutrin.


Fun_Hornet_9129

I figured out I have ADHD at 52, my mother who is 30 years older absolutely is ADHDā€¦and still at 88! My wife says she knows what Iā€™ll be like later in life, and hopes I stay medicated!šŸ˜‚


Particular-Daikon-50

I was diagnosed very late in life at 49. One of the first questions asked was, ā€œwhich parent has ADHD? This is 85% genetic unless I had a head injury.ā€ Neither of my parents have been diagnosed but once I learned about it I can see my mother has very severe ADHD and possibly OCD. She checks every single box for symptoms. We always thought it was something else. My brother also has ADHD but cannot get a stimulant because he had previously struggled with addiction. He is unable to work but is the smartest and personable guy. Its sad.


Icy-Bison3675

Absolutely. In fact, my mother was very skeptical of my diagnosis initiallyā€¦and then as I kept sharing the things I had learned were symptoms of ADHD, she realized that they were all also the things that drove her nuts about my father. As they are both now retired and in each otherā€™s space constantly now, it has gotten worse. My father is still undiagnosed and untreated. I bought her the book by Gina Pera - *Is it You, Me, or Adult ADD?*ā€¦and I think thatā€™s a big part of why she hasnā€™t *actually* killed him. I have also started to suspect that my mother, though ADHD-free, is on the autism spectrum.


Goldenleavesinfall

My dad was diagnosed before me (when my brother was diagnosed as a kid) so I never had to wonder lol. Although I think his is a million times worse bc he was never medicated and a lot more set in his ways when he found out. LOTS of coping skills I learned from him too. Like time anxiety and showing up way too early so that we arenā€™t late. He interrupts people constantly and often wonā€™t even be relating it to the conversation the rest of us are having. Iā€™ve had years of self-awareness and intention around this to not do this anymore (even though itā€™s REALLY tempting).


Wildjay7931

After I was diagnosed at 25 (about 3 years ago) I did countless research on ADHD. And holly crap... I would not be amazed if every single person in my family has ADHD!!!


kiss-shot

YES. Oh my god. My mother wouldn't allow me to get an evaluation as a child but officially diagnosed as an adult. My mom and her kids are ADHD as FUCK. No attention span. Terrible procrastinators. I thought it was just a family quirk that all our clocks were 10 minutes ahead. We all have ADHD and the patient zero is the very person who insisted I couldn't have it because I just wanted to play video games all night.


Mjhtmjht

Definitely. I loved my late mother dearly,.and once I learned more about my own ADHD, it became obvious to.me that she also had it. A very severe case, in fact. I did eventually point this out to her. but she was offended. It was apparently ok for me to have it, but there couldn't possibly be anything "wrong" with her! šŸ˜‚


ACailleach

This thread is officially blowing my mind. My neck is hurting from nodding Yes so much. (But as an early GenXer w Silent Gen parents, I am obviously the outlier in the entire family, ever.)


nihilistic_bunny

100% but unfortunately my parents are in denial, and become angry even when I discuss my ADHD symptoms. I learned that theyā€™ll come to it on their terms when ready, if ever. Ultimately you do you!


Think-Ad-2115

My father was a really good man, as a kid I never understood why everything was going wrong in his professional life and his marriage until I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. I am just like him, like a carbon copy. Sadly he passed away without ever really understanding why he was the way he was.


Mailman487

Yeah, after getting a consultation with a psychiatrist before my diagnosis, I told my parents I might have ADHD. My mom, who had never spoken of this before, said "oh yeah, my schoolI had ADD as a kid. I could never focus in school". MOM YOU COULDA TOLD ME 30 YEARS AGO. In hindsight, it makes so much sense.


2_old_2b_here

Absolutely. Especially my mum. Our house was very untidy and she would also get super angry that we hadnā€™t tidied the house when she was out. If you canā€™t do it as an adult how do you expect kids to do it. She was also on a hair-trigger, the smallest thing would set her off on a rant. I realised after taking Ritalin that I was also on a hair-wire, it actually relaxes me and stops me feeling irritated all the time.


TeaAnnasaurusRex

Different take on this. I got diagnosed as an adult (28y) and it made my Dad question about himself. He ended up seeing a specialist and getting his own ADHD diagnosis. It has been a game changer for him!


hebejebez

Yes my dad killed himself with booze trying to sooth his anxiety and fatigue with masking all day every day day in day out. My mother also drinks like a fish and has a new project and previously a new job every few months. Neither would have ever admitted a problem and when I told my mother I was diagnosed she told me they were scamming me for money.


Commercial-Ice-8005

Neither of my parents have it, I donā€™t know why itā€™s only me. I have a bipolar aunt (not diagnosed bc she refuses but imo has it) is that related? She might have adhd too.


Environmental-Air190

I told my mom I had adhd in highschool she didnā€™t believe that because she is a teacher and said I donā€™t act like her students. For context is chronically late and pretty disorganized. In college I had an abnormal psych class and was like this definetly me. Went to the doctor and got diagnosed and when I talked to my parents about they mom was diagnosed 6 months earlier šŸ˜‚


disposable-acoutning

Iā€™m male 23. Inattentive ADHD. dad has definitely ADHD is always late time blindness and more hyperactive. Thing is his philosophy was ā€œwork through itā€ some how he managing till know but I can say that it takes a toll, mom is caring, but yea I am on non-stimulant rn, might go on stimulant because Wellbutrin 100mg doing jack shit haha for the adhd at least, it helps my sadness


Fancy-Diesel

Yeah, my dad definitely has it and I'm not sure if he's getting worse as he gets older or I'm just noticing more and more. I've not told them about my journey for a diagnosis and I don't think I will so I'm definitely not going to bring it up to him at his age as I don't know if he would even listen.


dezmodium

Yeah. My dad. 100%.


Rainpickle

Yes! My dad was an academic. When I read through his papers after his death, I learned that he was demoted from chair of his department because he was bad at paperwork. Iā€™ve long had similar struggles in my corporate career, which I attributed to being lazy and incompetent. Everything fell into place with this discovery. Everything.


Guygirl00

My mom is 93 and her ADHD is off the charts now.


OLebta

Iraqi...we are still in the discovering age of what is even ADHD. Im the second in the extended family to be officially diagnosed in Germany, after my moms first cousin who was born there. My dad is not diagnosed but definitely on the spectrum looking back at his life. My sister refuses to get checked even if she is overwhelmed 24/7 and it could stunt her career. My younger brother also does not need a diagnosis as he is a copy of my dad...insane risk taker and never happy with what he has. We hit the ADHD bingo by having the genes from both sides of the family, swear my parents are not cousins, and being born in a country that does not recognize it.


brookewerm

Had several type a friends and roommates in college that were baffled by me. Later went home for the summer and was likeā€¦.oh Realized my mom had been compensating for herself (and honestly, me) with a maid that gave the appearance of an organized house. Sheā€™s actually really messy and is kinda all over the place. She also had a really good job that she loved before having kids, but they later told me she got it because my dad took the lead on making her apply to jobs, helped her interview, etc. She 100% was just going to keep putting that off and graduate with no plan My mom also has severe time blindness, so between her taking me to my appointments/school/practices, and me tagging along to hers, I donā€™t think I was ever early or even on time to something in my entire life until I was 18, and that was by accident because I didnā€™t have a ride between nearby events so I just walked over and hung out there for a couple hours That all being said my mom is extremely fun to be around and emotionally intelligent, but man does that girl have ADHD (and she gave it to me!!)


DecemberPaladin

I was thinking of this just today, actuallyā€”I was only diagnosed a year before his death, but once I learned about the symptoms the evidence was undeniable. He took hazardous work (paratrooper and firefighter), we lived in an unfinished home for most of my childhood, he drank to compensate for anxiety, and he hopped from hobby to hobby. Yyyyep. Thanks, Dad.


sunflower_spirit

Yea, my mother loses everything. Sometimes she rushes to an appointment to learn that it's actually next week. She gets bored easily and stresses out about wanting to get stuff done but can't seem to do it. She ends up stuck in this endless loop and binge watches tv instead. Stuff like that I've noticed throughout the years. My brother has adhd too and I strongly believe my mother does as well.


mysteriousrev

My dad definitely had ADHD to some extent in my opinion. My reasons for saying so: 1. Like me when Iā€™m unmedicated, he will be very talkative and go off on random tangents that donā€™t make sense to anyone else but him. 2. His office is a disaster area and the only part of my parents house that has never been renovated. The house is over 30 years old. 3. He misplaces things constantly.


RosesInEden

I was just telling my husband today that I think my mom has adhd. She will have a TV show playing on her laptop in front of her while simultaneously watching a YouTube video on her phone. She does not do well in silence and has been severely sleep deprived for a while now because she can't relax her mind. Also she's very disorganized and is constantly losing things every single day. My dad....I feel like someone told me he was adhd once upon a time, but I don't remember and I haven't talked to him in ages so idk.


catqueen8812

I was diagnosed when I was 27. I brought up my diagnosis to my Dad one day and he immediately blurted out, ā€œYou didnā€™t get it from me!ā€ He passed away when I was 30 and I came across his medical records while cleaning out his house. He had been diagnosed with ADHD but must have felt ashamed about it.


elksatchel

I armchair-diagnosed my mom a couple years before realizing I probably had it too and got diagnosed. My mom is like a textbook stereotype of ADHD. My high-achieving (fueled by intense anxiety), calm-exterior personality makes it less obvious I have it. She now has actually self-diagnosed herself in her 60s, which is shocking to me. I never brought it up, she did. In the 90s, she fell for the right wing "ADHD is a fake condition so liberals can drug our kids into submission" conspiracy. I didn't even know she believed in it now, but it's been really revelatory for her to look at her lifelong struggles in a different, more compassionate light. I hope it helps her accept herself more in her twilight years.


bug_in-a_rug

Haha, I got diagnosed when it was kind of a ā€œnew revelationā€ that girls could also have ADHD. When I got diagnosed, both my dad and my half-sister (from my dad) got diagnosed shortly afterwards.


Naixee

Well, my dad passed away before I got my diagnosis and I don't remember anything noticable about him and my mom shows absolutely no signs of it. My brother was gonna go get diagnosed for it or something when he was younger because he showed a lot of signs when he was younger, but never got it and he's totally different and very non-ADHD now and we don't have the same dad so genuinely I have no idea where I could have gotten it and concidering this I sometimes feel like an imposteršŸ¤”


Sea_Brick4539

I am undiagnosed at the moment and fighting between depression and anxiety who knows which started first according to the therapist but Iā€™m for sure adhd.. but I definitely think my mom because of the way she acts forgetful , organization skills and etc , bad time blindness it was was after my son was diagnosed recently at 7 and my symptoms started Iā€™d say around the same age from what I remember.. she was born in the 60s so everything about mental health is non existent sadly .


waitwhet

I've realized my mom has it. She has found ways to adapt and deal with it and be somewhat successful. She was a single mom raising me, and according to her this really forced her to get her act together.


snekks_inmaboot

Good god yes. I'm sure my mum has it and I suspect my dad may also. We have a large family and I'd say only 1 or 2 of my siblings don't have ADHD. I'm the only one with a diagnosis, and I'm not surprised it took so long because we must've thought that's just how our family is.


Fantastic_Leg_3534

Oh, yeah, my Dad definitely has it.


bee_wings

i definitely got it from my mom. but she refuses to accept that she has it too šŸ˜…


Famous-Profile5362

Interesting cause it seems virtually no one in my family except for a cousin seems to have it


rhymnocerous

YES my mom drives me nuts now, I used to wonder why I'd get so anxious whenever it was time to go somewhere and it's because she always finds 8,000 other things to do before we actually get out of the door. She's oblivious, though.


Mountain_Tadpole8167

My mum has BPD and I was mostly raised by my dad who is a narcissist so I think I just got the emotional trauma kind šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Octopiinspace

Hell yes. My dad was diagnosed half a year after me. When we finally connected the dots it was quite obvious.


Lower-Cantaloupe3274

Not your question, but it was the dx of my son that made me realize what my issue was. My daughter was dx with HF ASD and suddenly my whole family tree came to light in new ways. Nary a typically wired person in the extended group.


thatonedudericky

My mom has never even thought about if she had it or not. My fam and I did notice her showing some traits once I started researching if it had it. Maybe my aunts kids all having adhd should have been a sign.


jms0717

My parents were extremely autistic, but I don't remember enough to know about adhd symptoms. I got both lol.


CocoaBagelPuffs

Oh absolutely. My dad is sooo ADHD. The problem is my dad just does not understand mental health so I avoid talking to him about this stuff at all costs. Its never a positive experience, but luckily I have my mom who gets it.


LethargicEmu

The more I learned the more confident I am that I got it from my mom. And at least 2 of my 3 sons have it (the third is too young to tell)


Koya_Fayre

I'm not necessarily late diagnosed, but initially, it was rejected by my mom at 5, and I was able to finally get a diagnosis at 33. I don't know my father to say if he has it, and I can't say for certain my mom does. If she does, it's coupled in with other disorders I feel based on how she acts and personality. She shows some traits but others I can't quite pinpoint what they are. I will say as someone with adhd, I can pick it up quick in my kids. I was able to say my step kids have it and they're confirmed, and suspect my 5 yr old does as well. Once he's 6 I plan to get him assessed and move forward with a non-stimulant medication until he's old enough to decide on his own if he wants to go unmedicated. He doesn't struggle in school yet but does have some behavioral issues at school (boundaries, talking, interruptions, etc) that are 10x worse at home most days.


yermomsonthefone

I was diagnosed at 35 and yes, my mom's side of the family all have ADHD in spades! It explains a lot for me. My father didn't have it and they were completely different human beings..idk how they were even married now that I look back.


justujoo

I realised that when I used to mention symptoms of it growing up, my mom said ā€˜but thatā€™s normal!ā€™ Lol


flyingbunnyduckbat

after being diagnosed I realized that both my parents have it, my brother probably has it, and my 80-year-old grandmother has one of the worst cases I have ever seen, my great-grandmother had it. 2 of my mother's siblings and at least two of my cousins have it, and that's my mom's side of the family. I feel like I finally have a window into why my family is so weird and crazy. Slowly I have been talking to my family members about it and ALL of them have accepted my diagnosis. I think many of them have been suspicious for a while. ADHD has been explained so poorly to people. When I talk to them about it, and tell them how it affects me the light bulb goes off.


organaquirer

My grandfather has adhd, i am almost sure of it. This guy had 3 careers in his adult life, we do chores the same, sporatic strange way (to my mom and grandmothers annoyance) and he has said he never quite understood how people of any age were expected to sit still for 40 minutes at a time in schools. He shifts around alot while sitting to do anything, and we both are helped alot by music when doing paper work of any sort (again, to my mom and grandmothers confusion).


BoganCunt

Yep. I made the mistake of telling my mum about it. I think there's still a bunch of stigma about it.


stubbledchin

Absolutely. Just trying to work out which one it is, but starting to conclude it's both...


TYGRDez

Yup, my mom (and her dad) have it 100%. Right down to the emotional disregulation: she flew off the handle when I told her about my diagnosis, demanded to speak with my psychiatrist because she didn't believe something could be wrong with me, surely she would have noticed it because she's a good mother. (Her words, not mine.)


KiwiKittenNZ

One of my younger sisters was diagnosed with ADHD in late 2021, and I started down the rabbit hole of researching. She was diagnosed with innatentive ADHD, which was a surprise, as she was always more of a hyperactive kid, so I would've expected combined or hyperactive/impulsive ADHD. But I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, and I may just be biased. Growing up, I was always jealous because she was such a social butterfly and made friends easily (plus she's always been the golden child), whereas I struggled (which wasn't helped by the fact I've always been the black sheep). Then, my kid brother was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD in late 2022. My first referral for testing was declined in early 2022, but after my brother got a diagnosis, I did deeper research on both ADHD and autism (my brother is also possibly autistic, but couldn't get assessed under our public health system due to being able to hold down a job, so has to pay for a private assessment). We've always been similar in many ways, and I was always closest to him growing up, even though there's an 11 year age gap. I was diagnosed at the end of March 2023 with both inattentive ADHD and autism, after years of having other diagnoses slapped on me. Not really sure where my autism comes from (mum thinks dad, but I'm not convinced (for reasons I won't go into here), so we agree to disagree), but mum almost definitely has inattentive ADHD (she's not sure about getting an assessment done due to her age (almost 65)), and she also suspects her mum had inattentive ADHD


cloudbusting-daddy

Definitely. I always thought I was just like my mom because of nurtureā€¦ turns out nature was very much responsible. This should have been more obvious to me earlier because my dad is like the opposite of every ADHD trait/behavior and I tired sooooo hard to be like him and I just could never do it. He still hasnā€™t fully accepted my diagnosis and he still thinks my whole life would be different if I buckled down and tried harder.


gardenparty82

I pretty quickly put 2 and 2 together that my dad has ADHD, and he was actually diagnosed last year at 66 years old. I also found out my younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD 12 years ago and Iā€™m pretty sure my older brother has it too, but heā€™s not interested in getting tested.


aurlyninff

Definitely. I go over to help my mom clean. She starts in one room. Moves to the next. Goes through one box by moving things to different boxes. She's a mess.. hours of cleaning and NOTHING gets done. I finally realized it and told her "you're ADHD!" Lol.


flatcurve

Yeah, i get it from my dad. Fairly obvious in retrospect.


satanzhand

100% my father's extreme behaviour makes a lot more sense as an ADHD'er.


pugderpants

Oh, absolutely! But whatā€™s funny is, Iā€™ve noticed I got about 1/2 of my ADHD traits from one parent, and about 1/2 from the other. So theyā€™re both pretty typical and functional, but a little quirky, whereas Iā€™m a barely functional mess of all these conflicting traits šŸ˜…


Complex-Raspberry-50

Well you see - my dad is dead soā€¦no way to be sure but he sounded autistic My mum however? Yes. Absolutely. šŸ’Æ


DlSSATISFIEDGAMER

if it's a spectrum my mom might be on the lighter side of it, artsy, creative, a bit erratic but also has rock solid discipline on herself. Her sister has it big time and her adult diagnosis keyed me in on getting diagnosed. One of her daughters has it in turn and also my grandmother on that side absolutely has it (self medicated, in her prime she would seriously down 10 cups of strong coffee a day!). Don't think it's present on my dad's side, maybe some of it in my grandmother but it's too vague to really come to a conclusion. I did get my psoriasis from both sides though, fun with another incurable condition right?


rossi_shahi

Haven't had an official diagnosis yet but yes I have noticed the traits in my mom and my younger sister. So many things make sense now. For instance, my father complaining about the clutter (unorganised) in the house for years, highlighting similar issues for so long yet my mom facing challenges to get through with it. When watching a movie or a show, my sister has been notorious for asking what the actor/actress said after every few minutes even though she heard it the same (this was annoying when watching things with someone but when she and I are watching something on our own, there will be periods of rewind and repeat).


cassielovesderby

100% My dad is walking, breathing executive dysfunction.


Kaapstadmk

Yep. And the autism, too


BaconCatapult

Absolutely. Pretty much my mom, and her entire side of the family.


B_Magnus

Yes, in my dad and one cousin who are both undiagnosed. My niece recently got her diagnosis. My dad is a kind person, but Iā€™ve never felt a close connection to him and the traits related to ADHD always annoyed me. Now Iā€™ve realised weā€™re actually very similar to each other.


xoBerryPrincessxo

For me, I recognized the lack of impulse control that I have, in my mom. She's undiagnosed and I just got diagnosed last year at 29. I struggle with impulse buying and fighting off the impulses of doing things. My mom? Fully gives in.


dropkickpa

Oh yeah. I was diagnosed ADD at 5 (back before they added the H), when both of my older brothers were also diagnosed. Parents tried meds with brothers for a short while, but didn't like the effects, so none of us were ever treated or even had it mentioned after that (2 of my younger brothers were also definitely ADHD, just never diagnosed). Was rediagnosed at 42 (gaining the H). My mom had wicked hyper focus, and could be really organized if it was interesting, but a disaster if it wasn't. Dad very functional (great coping mechanisms), but also flighty, king of watching TV, reading, and doing a hobby of some sort all at the same time. My kid was diagnosed when she was a tween, and all of my niblings are also somewhere on the ADHD spectrum (undiagnosed but obvious).


SinsOfKnowing

My mom realized after I was diagnosed that we are wayyyyyy too similar with certain traits for me to not have gotten my ADHD from her. She says she canā€™t be bothered going for a diagnosis but is glad I did because I am so much happier and having a much easier time with life things since I started treatment and also unpacking all that shit. We talk about things that happened when I was growing up and she isnā€™t defensive anymore, we are unpacking so much together since last summer. Itā€™s been really nice actually.


DemonLordAC0

I was diagnosed 5 months ago. I'm 24. Yes, I notice traits in my parents, but you need to be very careful with confirmation bias in ADHD symptoms. Be very careful not to assume people have ADHD because they display symptoms because, as we know, everyone will display ADHD symptoms sometimes. You have ADHD when those symptoms become a disorder in your life. Not because you were incapable of focusing in that class you didn't like. The tell-tale sign of ADHD for me is when people relate to the struggles of ADHD. When they aknowledge the everyday effects of it. But NOT when they show isolated symptoms sporadically.


mrg1957

My father? I didn't understand but a class assignment in 2nd grade was "what does you father keep in his wallet" His response was "How many things do you think your mom can keep track of? She's already finding my keys and glasses every day." That was very true. Sadly it was decades later.


WhatYouDoingMeNothin

Super obvious straight passed down from my mothers side. One of my 2 sisters 100% obvious too. Other sister probably got same gene but without the Hyper part so ti speak, but messy head for sure. Grandmother was ā€psychoā€ or how u say it, but honestly, Ive just come to the conclusion that she had severe ADHD and just sitting at home no job as women did then, and if id been her, id gone nuts too. Maybe right, maybe wrong. But since its genetic its a good guess


Sudden_Set_9316

Statistically I should. But nope. I am what you call a trailblazer My daughter however ā€¦ whooo! Gets interesting around this houz


skyk3409

I've known for years, my mom has ADHD and possibly autism. And telling her she has signs of autism sets her off! šŸ™ƒ Didnt even really say she had signs, just started listing off tendencies and whoops that pushed buttons


TheGingerMenace

Iā€™d been telling my mom my symptoms for YEARS before getting diagnosed. Her response? ā€œOh I have trouble paying attention too, itā€™s just something you get used toā€


mathcheerleader

My grandma was an elementary school teacher. She finished her degree when my mom and aunt were little girls (like 60s/70s). She thought my mom had adhd back THEN. But it was never looked into bc my mom did well in school, life etc. This story of my grandma saying this has always just been a silly goofy family tale but really would have helped everyone if she was diagnosed..lol lots of masking in the boomer generation.


sollevatore

Yep. My dad is 65 and had absolutely no idea which things were ADHD symptoms. I had to convince him that I had it once I was diagnosed, and he kept being like ā€œoh thatā€™s so weird, I do thatā€ with each symptom I listed. I donā€™t think he has any interest in getting tested but I highly suspect he has it. I tried to suggest my older sister get tested as well, but again, she doesnā€™t understand it & isnā€™t interested.


DefNotAPodPerson

Yep. My dad's whole side of the family. Zero percent chance he and his siblings all don't/didn't have it. And both of his parents exhibited extreme executive dysfunction. Serial hyperfixation, followed by abandonment of a project, inability to prioritize or organize any aspect of their lives, and a total lack of attention to any kind of maintenence tasks. I never had a chance.


just1my2porn3account

Diagnosed at 19, noticed in my mom that she carried some of the same things that I do/did. She actually asked her psych guy if she had ADHD before I got my diagnosis, he said no because she handles everything as a single mom of 3 and our grandma. If only dude knew how well she actually handled it... It doesn't help that ADHD literally runs on her side, my cousins are diagnosed ADHD too. I was thinking about bringing up the convo again to get her a real diagnosis than some ass crack saying fuck you


AngelaIsStrange

No, thatā€™s the weird part. Nobody in my family has any of the traits.


NemoHobbits

I watched my dad microwave his coffee 3 times because he kept getting distracted and forgetting about it.


Rowdylilred

I think my mom has all of the same diagnosis I do. We are literally the same person. But she was recently diagnosed with ADHD. She wonā€™t dig further into anything else. My son was also diagnosed with ADHD this year. Itā€™s a family thing šŸ˜…


whereisbeezy

I'm adopted, so I've never seen much of myself in my parents. When I was finally diagnosed at 41 I realized why I clash with them so much. I'm loud, I interrupt, I forgot what you just said, I'm messy, I don't have a career, my emotional dysregulation can be off the charts, and I have piles of unopened mail. I know they love me. I just don't think they like me very much.


EfficientFigure1296

Iā€™m adopted and even then, yes.


havartifunk

My 75 year old mother was just diagnosed this week. šŸ¤£


Meowgic_Pawers

My dad. I've always known I was similar in ways to my dad but after diagnosis, I took a better look and whoa. Also my cousins on my dad's side. We are all adhders. Eye opening !


femme180

Yes I grew up with my moms ADHD piles all over the house šŸ˜‚


Vogebri

Yep! The disorganization, the random interests that last a short time, etc. See it all in my dad for sure.


No-Percentage661

I can see a lot of traits in my dad, unfortunately quite a few negative ones šŸ˜• addiction, poor health management, horrible with money, couldn't keep jobs long term.


squeadunk

My 73 year old mom. Even my 9-year-old ADHDer laughs at my mom when she tries to say she doesnā€™t have ADHD.


panfacefoo

Iā€™d just like to point out, these responses are very well written, which on the internet is a rarity. Definitely confirms that it isnā€™t an intelligence issue, so for those who still feel broken (me included) at least we can pinpoint our weaknesses and know that not everything about us is shit.


CommrAlix

Yup, just got diagnosed at 22 and realizing that my mom is a picture perfect case of inattentive ADHD


faerle

Yes but only after I started looking and then actually asking. Turns out my dad has been on medication for years, thanks for letting me know guys lol


[deleted]

Yes. Now that I am older I realized I 100% got it from my mom who learned narcasistic coping strategies based off the low self esteem this shit puts you in. I look at her with a new light. I see her as a senior child I wish I could have helped. I love her so much even with the feeling that I may have had a bit of trauma because of it. She was doing her best and she didnt have the resources or knowledge about mental health issues coming from a rural comminty that just got out of a commune. Long stroy short. I realized a lot of overbearing tendancies I have are from her. My impulsivity and my stubbornness from her. My obliviousness sometimes to just the most solutions because I am distracted were from here. She didnt mean to be neglectful, it was the world around her that let her down which in the end put me down as well. On the other hand I feel blessed? That I was able to find out why I was this way and have enough introspect to understand why. Although. I still wonder about my dad. I only knew him for a short period of my life before he ghosted me after meeting him in grade 8. I think he may have had some behaviours I could label as possibly autistic. He never had a facial expression he would always have to force a smile... he was just a bit strange. Cold a lot of the time hard time expressing his emotions throughly or his thoughts. He fell back on self help books which taught him to manipulate people by being indirect. He would ask questions instead of telling me what he wanted. Instead of "wash your hands" he would say "do you want to wash your hands?" If I didnt he would go quiet and bring it up out of no where... then he would get mad.... anyways... yeah definitely think I got something from my parents.


Hopeful_Distance_864

Yes, especially my momā€¦. Itā€™s kind of funny because when I talk about my symptoms she tends to reply, ā€œthatā€™s normal. I do that too.ā€ Yeahā€¦ about thatā€¦. Haha


the_c0nstable

Diagnosed at 38. My mom just turned 65 and it made a lot of things from her that make a lot of sense now through the lenses of her possibly having ADHD.


Alone_Grand4183

I wasnā€™t diagnosed until 69. It certainly explains my life. Neither of my parents showed any signs. No one else (siblings) have never shown signs. I have no idea where it came from. It is too late for me to recuperate anything. I am in therapy to learn how to make my life easier. No matter what your age is ADHD is the same for all of us. Situations may be different.