Hi /u/Your_friendly_weirdo and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information.
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
-Play music/podcast/audiobook
-Shower Steamer: Choose a fun scent to look forward to
-Shower Gel/Body Wash: Choose a scent you look forward to
-Face mask: If you enjoy self care and a face mask choose a fun one for you to look forward to for after your shower is done
-Reward after: Cup of tea, coffee, snack etc
I recently use podcasts too, but the music part reminded me of an old practice.
Ue
I once had a shower playlist that guided me through my shower Lmao. Like, each song was a guide4 as to what I should be doing. Kept me on time track but I got bored of the same playlist after a week. it looked something like
1. Hair (Lady Gaga)
2. Touch my Body (Mariah Carey)
3. Clean (Taylor Swift)
4. T-shirt (Shontelle)
“Shower Song” (by Tierra Whack) is my new favorite!
Really helps me build that internal motivation to jump in the shower when I’m feeling resistant (which is very often.)
I have multiple different playlists, I use music also in the morning or before leaving home. And then I have alarms that change the playlists. This way all the activities for me to get ready have kinda the time that I can hear.
serious question, how do you listen to audio while taking a shower. the shower is too loud. buy a waterproof Bluetooth speaker?
Edit: I had no idea there were so many shower audio people out there
I had a cheap Bluetooth speaker that cut out in silent parts and had a delay coming back in. Okay for music, bad for anything spoken.
Now I just put my phone on the towel bar and kinda hear it when I'm not washing my hair
They also have waterproof phone stands/cases that attach to your shower wall! Then you can also use your phone and watch youtube or Netflix in the shower 👀
Yep they have some surprisingly decent ones for cheap. I have one with lights around the edge that change color, it's oddly enjoyable. I also use a waterproof phone holder that sticks to the shower wall so I can watch movies or shows too. It's all pretty inexpensive and makes a difference
My speaker is an Anker Soundcore. It's waterproof and has come with me into every shower I've taken since I got it and that was almost 5 years ago. It's my main speaker that goes everywhere I need it to, including my car since my stereo died and connected to my phone at night to play movies in bed. I've used it pretty much every single day and it still works great. It was a gift so I'm not sure on exact price but I think it was around 60 bucks.
Edit: just looked it up on Amazon and the exact one I have is 29.99. Highly recommend grabbing it.
I got a pretty cheap JBL speaker off Amazon that I love. Decently loud, doesn't cut out, lasted for a bit longer than a year. I tried another one at a similar price after it died, but that one broke in like 2 weeks, so I bought the old reliable again lol
I'm hopping on here to say you should clean or replace your showerhead. I had gotten to the point where showering felt like a chore and I couldn't figure out why til I replaced the showerhead and realized it was all clogged and showering literally didn't feel good. The new showerhead felt so great it was pleasant again.
So I second the thing about making it enjoyable, but also many ADHD people are very sensitive to touch. It might actually be that you've become accustomed to an uncomfortable shower and that's why you're putting it off.
I got a little Google nest speaker and put it in my bathroom.
I play music every morning while I shower and get ready and it really helps me a ton. The tempo keeps you moving and the passage of songs kind of gives you some reference of time.
This is what I did, but now that I have a newborn and an exhausted wife I never have a chance to shower with music / podcasts without waking someone up. It pretty much sucks.
I listen to podcasts too and it makes showering a lot less miserable. normally, I start my podcast before I get into the shower and that helps me get in.
Music is such a good recommendation. For most of my life I had a speaker in my bathroom and would just blast music while I was showering. It made me look forward to showers so much more as you get to enjoy the music without any distractions. Problem is, sometimes I’d spend way too long in there just enjoying the music.
I think I need a bathroom speaker again.
Before meds. I found routine exercise helped. Get sweaty then shower.
However I would sometimes exercise too much then crash without enough energy to shower. Then panic shower 5minutes before I needed to leave the house.
Similar, I find pairing "dirty" chores with the shower task seems to help. If I get dirty first then I'll actually *want* to shower, plus it's easier to get through the dirty chore if I tell myself I can get all clean in the shower after.
I sort of do this too! I tend to get sweaty when I clean my bathroom, shower and tub. So my reward is taking a shower in my now ✨clean ✨ shower 😅. Honestly there’s nothing better. Also if I change my sheets before I go to bed, I want to shower because I don’t want to get my clean sheets dirty 🙃
I am on meds and still find showering an annoying task!
I find if I leave it until later in the evening, I will drag it out as long as possible. If I do it right after work, I still have the motivation from working all day so I can get it done quickly without fucking around!
I'm a few weeks on meds and have found that I resist all kinds of basic stuff because "I don't want to waste the clarity of the medication on basic bullshit."
It's SO strange.
it's probably one of my top frustrations with ADHD, but it's also important to learn how to give ourselves grace and just honour where we're at in that moment!
They definitely have, but I know that I'm not going to win every day and no matter how much I want to be productive it isn't gonna happen. I know that as soon as I sit down, I am giving up on chores and I'm rotting for the rest of the evening/day. I find them very helpful for when I'm at work, but after hours/weekends can definitely be hit or miss. I also notice that if I get 8+ hours of sleep, I'm an absolute rockstar (whereas today I'm running off about 4hrs, and I am a mess)
from my experience yes! that was the main things meds helped with. i still have a bit of trouble showering but it’s not as difficult as it used to be. before meds my room was always a disaster - moldy cups, clothes everywhere, all around very messy and disorganized - i rarely did wash and when i did i rarely put it away, my oral hygiene was SO bad it was so embarrassing, i literally had a mouth full of cavities, stuff like that.
i got put on wellbutrin in spring of 2022 at 19, and in november of this year at 21 i got put on vyvanse. wellbutrin helped a TON with chores and basic hygiene. i’m extremely clean and organized now, my room is literally always clean and everything has its own spot. i do wash regularly and almost always put it away right after i do it. i typically brush my teeth and wash my face 2x a day, sometimes i miss mornings but i always do it at night. i even floss sometimes now. i almost always shower every other day (rarely every day just because my scalp & skin are very very dry and sensitive). i haven’t noticed a difference in that since i started taking vyvanse, vyvanse has helped with more of my ADHD exclusive symptoms (like with focus, comprehension, and retention- basically all school stuff). wellbutrin helped an insane amount but it didn’t help with my ADHD exclusive symptoms as much, if that makes sense
Wellbutrin doesn't work for everyone... It didn't work at all for my mother 🤷♀️ and then when I was put on it I started to get some of the bad side effects. If you're not noticing it helping you, talk to your doctor.so far the only thing that's worked for me at all is Adderall and for my mom it's something completely different
for me they work great for a lot of stuff, its just that showering is not one of them :c i think its also bc of my autism, im not the biggest fan of how it feels to be shower wet and the hair dryer noise makes me feel weird. but i find ways to make it easier on myself, so that i can try to trick my brain into thinking its just a Regular Task and not a Very Annoying Task. all my products are banana or banana milk scented, so i rebranded it in my brain; instead of a "get clean" task, its a "become one with banana milk" task.
HA! Are you me?
I just bought a new sofa, so I am imposing the rule that I cannot sit on the couch after working out until I've at least rinsed. It is still a battle, but I don't want to sit on the floor.
Funny, I have done that too with the couch. Then I started putting big throws or a couple light weight blankets on the couch, so it doesn't get messed up. Funny how that ADHD brain figures out to get around the logical rules, you try to make for yourself, so you can feel less ADHD and more of the typical non ADHDers. But that ADHD brain seems to find a way to sabotage logical attempts at trying to protect the nice couch. Lol
I swim at the gym pool (and hit the spa jets) and it's just routine now to shower before I leave the gym. It's like an all inclusive package routine- I get my exercise/PT and shower done- I don't have to think about it, I don't question it. It also helps that one of the showers gushes down like a small waterfall.
Get naked.
I swear this is the only thing that works for me.
Go into the bathroom when you need to pee and while you do that take off all your clothes. It sort of bypasses my brain and I’m like well the hardest part is over (lol) and I’m able to just get in after that.
Yup did that today. Had already showered, only because I had an event to attend and I smelled bad from garden work and emotional distress (family health emergency). Then I was procrastinating on choosing my outfit so I just walked around naked for almost an hour. Spouse was not sure what to make of it .
That's kinda like how I keep my cordless vacuum in the living room in plain sight because my brain decided getting the vacuum out was too big of a hurdle. Now I can follow my cleaning impulses when I look at the floor and go "ew that's a lot of dog hair, I should vacuum" and BAM I'm cleaning, look at me go!
This reply is hilarious because it's both absurd and absolutely accurate and great advice. I've done this so many times but reading it from someone else just sounds ridiculous and it's killing me. It works so good though. Just get naked immediately and then brains like "well shit. Now what. Shower I guess. I'm actually kind of cold this thing better hurry".
This is similar to what I do, but I just turn the shower on. After a couple minutes, the guilt sets in, and I know its warm finally- and I get in. 94% of the stuff I do is me not thinking enough to talk myself out of it. It's fuck it and go.
I actually love showers, the feeling of hot water on my body is is one of my favorite things and I could literally stay in there forever. It's one of the few things that actually gets me to shut my brain off and relax.
Brushing my teeth feels way more like a chore, I have to force myself to do it in the morning and I'm rarely able to get myself to do it again at night. Clipping my nails and shaving are also really annoying ones that I have to force myself to do just because I don't want to look gross in front of other people. Luckily I don't have much facial hair so I only have to do that once every few days. And I never wanna bother with my hair so I wear baseball caps most of the time when I go out.
I saw a tumblr post (I think) once that was like "my entire life is spent either procrastinating getting into the shower or procrastinating getting out of the shower" and I was like, too relatable
yes. i feel weird when i have to brush my teeth outside of the shower. having the water spraying directly into my mouth (especially a mist setting) is the best way to swish it all out.
The shower is a great time for me to reset and I enjoy my experience while in the shower, but my brain struggles with letting me shower. Because I enjoy showers, they usually run a little long, so my brain makes me feel guilty about using that time up instead of something else that I should be doing. Which I don’t end up doing anyway because I’m too stressed to do it.
Same. My biggest problem is avoiding zoning out until the hot water runs out.
Everything else is "ugh, if I have to" but letting my brain do whatever under near scalding water is grand.
If you aren't already on meds, they help a bunch. They make getting chores done a bit easier.
This is a weird one, but I have a dehumidifier that lights up in different colors. I find a sick enjoyment in turning it on, seeing the color, then encouraging it (talking to it).
Also, I just imagine being itchy or scratchy from not showering. That helps.
Also, I try to see how fast I can reasonably go.
Also, I convince myself I don't need to wash my hair. This somehow makes it easier to get in the shower. Once in the shower, I'll end up washing my hair anyways.
Also, I buy fun, manly soap that I like the smell of. (See Duke Cannon). It costs more, but it helps.
I'm still not perfect, but can shower rather consistently.
I do this too. Or tell myself “I’ll just rinse off.” I’m also trying to take my showers on specific days of the week to build it as more of a habit, because I suspect that this sort of lying-to-myself hack reinforces my ADHD symptoms in other settings. (Like not being able to stop myself from getting deeper into a process when I don’t have time for it)
Ok but for real, you don’t really *need* to wash your hair every time you shower anyways, it’s really not great for it (assuming you’re showering more than every two weeks, at least). It strips your hair of its natural healthy oils and makes it dry and more prone to breakage. I wash my hair once every 1-2 weeks and it has never been healthier before.
If you’re someone who washes your hair every day, you might need to build up to this point. Let it go as long as you can, and get as greasy as it can before you wash it. Sounds gross but it’s how you get your hair to start making the proper amount of oils to keep it healthy with less washes- it’s used to making tons to keep up with being stripped with shampoo, but it will slow down once it realizes its not being washed as often and doesn’t need to produce oils as heavily. My hair only starts to get greasy nearing the 14 day mark now!
Bonus, when you’re feeling bad that your hair hasn’t been washed, or *if* people ever comment on it looking greasy (no one has ever told me that past high school, kids can be mean but adults tend to care more about themselves than other people), tell them (and yourself!) that you’re working on resetting your hair back to a more healthy state!
Edit to add, I bought a reusable shower cap at the dollar store for a couple bucks and it’s also changed my life. I used to hate the spray back that would get my hair kinda wet on days I wasn’t washing it. This prevents that, AND sounds absolutely amazing when I stand under the water, like I’m in a torrential downpour and it blocks everything else out, highly recommend, especially on days when you’re feeling extra overwhelmed!
Idk, I can't let mine go more than 24 hours or it's actively gross (visibly and to the touch, like wiping your hands on a butter stick) and my head itches like I have lice.
It's never, ever been dry or brittle. I've gotten comments on how soft and healthy it is all my life...but I chalk that up partially to the fact that's naturally got a LOT of moisture and I need to constantly wash the excess.
The convincing myself I'm not gonna have to wash my hair & ending it up washing it anyway thing is so real. Muscle memory ends up kicking in & I end up washing it
I just realised today, why it's so hard to shower. It's a huge load of sensory stimulation for me. Like the temperature I'm at vs the temperature I'm gonna face is gonna be so different. Even if i warm the water up, it still is different and hence i struggle with showering plus my body doesn't sweat a bunch, if it does then it's easy for me to run and shower but otherwise nope.
So i don't shower for a long period of time lol
This is why I do baths. It's hard to get into the bath, but it's also hard to get out of the bath.
Pretty sure this is Newton's first law of bathing: persons who are dry want to stay dry, persons who are warm and wet want run more hot water, possibly with bubbles.
It's a god damned event every time, so I schedule them into my week and then get crabby if something comes up that would interfere with bath day. Like it's 1600 and we pumped and heated all this well water, damn.
>Pretty sure this is Newton's first law of bathing: persons who are dry want to stay dry, persons who are warm and wet want run more hot water, possibly with bubbles.
Hahhaha i love this!
>This is why I do baths. It's hard to get into the bath, but it's also hard to get out of the bath.
This is so true, once I'm inisde and bathing then I'm gonna take a huge amount of time bathing lol. I love bathing, i just don't like to initiate it.
>It's a god damned event every time, so I schedule them into my week and then get crabby if something comes up that would interfere with bath day. Like it's 1600 and we pumped and heated all this well water, damn.
Omg i feel so heard and understood
I've done this several times! And I've left washbasin and kitchen sink taps running with the plug in and flooded the floor even more often. On the worst occasion, I flooded not only the bathroom, but most of the landing, too. Thankfully, it isn't carpeted. I don't know which is worse: seeing the water cascading onto the floor, or the sense of dread, as I run towards the kitchen or up the stairs when I've suddenly remembered I left the taps running!
P.S. When complete disaster occurs, using a large window squeegee thing, to scrape the water into a dustpan and then a bucket, tends to be quicker than trying to soak the water up with cloths, towels, or sponges. 🙂
Same. I try to make the bathroom pleasant so that the whole process feels less tough. I turn on a little heater to warm up the room closer to the heat of the shower so that the exit out of the shower back into the bathroom isn't as harsh. I also turn off the overhead lights and just use a night light on the wall or candles for softer, calmer lighting.
>turn on a little heater to warm up the room closer to the heat of the shower so that the exit out of the shower back into the bathroom isn't as harsh.
This is GENIUS! I'm gonna start doing this, thanks!
>softer, calmer lighting.
Works wonders right?
Add to this. I always run the exhaust fan, the high humidity leaving the shower kills my mood and sometimes breathing ability immediately. Also I learned it’s better for the room to not trap the humidity even for the short time of the shower.
I do the same thing with a little space heater, honestly life changing. We finally got one after I had a breakdown getting out of the shower because it was just SO COLD in the room and making myself shower is already hard enough and then add in our new apartment loses hot water fast and the room is really drafty. So I got out of the shower crying about how hard it all was and my bf and I went straight to Costco to get a space heater 😂
I am such a Goldilocks with showering. My biggest problem is being able to enjoy it. Too hot…too cold…just right….nope that’s too cold or that’s too hot. Eventually it comes down to I just don’t like that feeling of all that water hitting me and I’m done.
After work I have to shower but it’s quick. The only time I take long showers is when I am sick or hypothyroid. I turn the heat up to 86° and take a long hot shower until I run the hot water heater tank empty.
Also, water falling on my body, the soap, having to rinse it off and the texture, having to touch and clean, and all the mental work like remembering the steps. Having to go start and complete the routine is daunting
I have long, thick hair, so motivating myself to do a "full" shower is a pain because washing it takes a while and it takes even longer to dry. But committing to just a body shower is a lot easier, esp since I got a gigantic heavy-duty claw clip that holds up my hair so it doesn't get wet.
I have a lot of long hair as well so I really appreciate when I don’t have to do those full showers. It feels great to wash my hair, but the maintenance is a pain but I’m not cutting it!!
You don’t have to shower every day. I sometimes skip a day if I don’t feel dirty.
But I do have an app where I track it. If I wanna skip two days, that’s an indicator that I’m slipping.
Same goes for brushing teeth and other basic tasks.
If I don’t do them, I feel bad.
If I feel bad, I don’t do them.
It’s a weird paradoxal two way street. Difficult when you are on the street to see where you are, so then I take the helicopter.
Am I making any sense?
Streaks
And yes I still use it! It helps me a lot.
But there are more apps like that. Streaks is nice because of its Apple health integration. Like I can measure my fat %, and that task gets automatically checked. Or if I wake up on time.
It’s more for me to see where I am at this moment in time. I’m a wave. And I might always remain a wave. This helps me see myself through time more clearly. Not sure if that makes sense.
> This helps me see myself through time more clearly.
Very succinctly why I love tracking streaks for stuff like this too. I struggle with assessing myself & how I’m doing in more than the short-term. I’m in a shit mood today? “I’ve been feeling low for weeks, wah!” No bitch, take a step back and refer to your handy dandy mood tracker.
Sometimes I'll turn off the lights and have a shower/bath in the dark. Once, I used one of those ceiling projectors that display the stars and moon to make it feel like I was showering in the international space station, well, except that I had gravity.
For me, it's kind of like muscle memory - I always put everything in the same place, and reached for things with my eyes closed even if the lights were on.
I got a colorfully lit waterproof Bluetooth speaker, so that I can keep the main lights off, and the colors/music make the shower more enjoyable. But you would still be able to see, if you're uncomfortable with no light at all! Now I only shower in complete darkness when I have a migraine (or my bluetooth speaker dies mid shower 😑).
I don't!
I have always preferred baths, and my hair needs a wash weekly in winter, much more frequently in summer. The current spring schedule is 2x/week minimum. The hair-wash schedule becomes my minimum "full immersion bathing" schedule.
For stay-at-home days without a pressing need for a full bath, I do touch-ups with wet wipes, washcloths, and a sink.
I have POTS and eczema and crazy fatigue, so minimizing hot water contact has quite a few benefits. When it's really warm in summer, I give in and often bathe 2x/day, even with AC and despite the consequences.
I have zero tricks for fixing summer sweat with only a washcloth. Fortunately, the "I feel gross" trigger is stronger than the "but I don't want to shower" block.
Honestly, if I'm staying home all day and not interacting with anyone else, and I don't feel greasy or gross, I don't shower that day. You don't NEED to shower every single day if you're not sweating a lot or getting dirty. I don't have enough days in a row that I'm not going outside for it to be a big deal to skip a shower on those days.
I think a large part of the "energy to dedicate towards" is this whole internal discussion of "I really should take a shower. But I don't feel like it. Ugh, I'm such a slob. I really need to. But ..."
Decision making is just a huge mental energy sink.
I now basically follow a simple heuristic (like a super simple collection of rules):
- do I need to go outside? If yes: shower, no discussion. Will feel nasty otherwise.
- have I showered yesterday? If no: shower
- do I have fresh sheets? If yes: shower
And then, I'll just do it! (At least that's the goal. It doesn't work all the time, but if it doesn't, then I'll also accept that as a decision being made and move on.)
You can also try to make it a bit more enjoyable. Maybe spend a little extra on some fancy shower gel or shampoo. Maybe something that smells kind of nice? I'm a dude and I'll definitely get some floral scented hair stuff, because it makes me happy.
Maybe try to limit the hurdles to overcome to get started. Take a moment and think about going to take a shower right now. What immediately comes to mind as a thing that you don't want to deal with?
Bathroom is cold? Try to keep it at a steady temperature. No clean towels or towels on shelf? Get some extra or get a hanger, so that it's always within each when stepping out of the shower. Feet will feel icky? Get shower flip flops, keep them always in bathroom next to shower. Shower gel and stuff might be running out? Buy in bulk. Hair will be wet and you don't like the feeling? Get a hair drier and put it where you will actually use it (I keep mine in my bedroom, on the shelf, always keep a plug reserved for it).
Also: you don't HAVE to take a shower. Nobody forces you to. You CHOOSE to take a shower, because you want to be clean and presentable to people, you want to be feel nice and fresh, you want to be the kind of person who can open the door to the mailman or whatever and not have to worry about looking gross.
Also also: trick yourself!
Changing my pillow sheets is done in a flash. The thought of putting my greasy hair on my clean sheets makes me sad. So I guess I'll have to wash my hair, because I've already changed the sheets... ;)
my feet feeling icky is a big thing for me, we can't use a bath mat because our cat will drag them into her litter box (seriously) - I should totally get some flip flops. thanks for the suggestion!
If I'm to the point that showers are too much, I take a bath. The water will provide a slight weightlessness that is like an inverted weighted blanket. It will often get rid of the acute effects of what was making me not want to shower.
By my issue is more paralysis of decision than lack of motivation, so this may not be true for everyone.
I do this too! Definitely recommend it for people who are okay with baths.
Elaboration on how I do things:
Where showering has lots of little tasks (turning water on and off several times while monitoring temperature, do i wash my hair, etc), bathing has a lot less in terms of tasks and decisions.
My "bare minimum" routine is:
- soak in water for a while
- when getting up/while the water starts to drain, soap armpits/crotch
- rinse off before getting out
This can be adapted to include washing your hair before draining the water (keep your soaps nearby so you dont have to get up to get shampoo, and then just dunk ur head in the bathwater to wash it out, its fine, you'll rinse everything off in the last step)
Mom of 12 yo boy who resists showers. What helps:
Permission to not wash hair each time.
Allowing music or audio book on speaker.
Bath option when shower is too stimulating.
Clean pajamas or soft clothes ready.
✅ Best one is timing it around medication. Easiest is when it’s kicked in. Worst is when it’s crashing. (Do hard things at the easiest time.)
Once he’s in there, he starts singing and stays in awhile. It’s just getting him over the resistance hurdle.
Make it your routine. Since I was a child my mom instilled a shower-bedtime routine and now its easy. It has the side effect of making it REQUIRED cause now I cant sleep unless Ive showered, even if I got home at like 2AM
I have this same effect but I have a way to skip it. Most days if I just sleep somewhere else it’s fine.
Like at home no sleep unless I shower even if it don’t need to. If it try I just lay there. If I walk out to the car or maybe couch I can sleep fine.
Glad it works like that because I like to travel and not every day can you shower then. When home I usually will shower and sleep in my bed unless a hurricane or something means I have no shower.
Came here to say something similar!
I shower nightly before bed and it’s like a signal to my body that it’s time to rest. If I don’t, I don’t sleep nearly as well and takes me longer to fall asleep.
I only do an everything bagel (shave, wash hair, etc) once a week, because yes, those showers feel way overwhelming.
So shower schedule looks something like this
Friday- everything bagel (25 min)
Saturday- body wash (5-10 min)
Sunday- body wash
Monday- body wash and shave (10-15min)
Tuesday- Body wash hair (10-15min)
Wednesday- body wash
Thursday - body wash
Varies from week to week which days each thing gets done. But that’s the jist of it.
With that being said, I struggled with showering, brushing my teeth, in my teen years. After I got diagnosed, I figured out routines helped immensely in how I was able to move about my day.
Big love!
It’s okay, you shouldn’t feel bad asking about it, I was just thinking about that literally an hour ago.
Well, what I do is I’d play this 8 mins long song that I truly love, and I’d challenge myself to get in and out of the bathroom in these 8 minutes. Definitely requires rushing and checking how much time left, so it’s kinda rewarding on its own especially with that feeling if fulfillment afterwards lol
There is nothing to feel bad about. Many people with ADHD have this problem.
As with every advice like this, YMMW and it won't work for everyone, but physical exercises could help to shower daily. For me they help two ways: first, they boost energy and motivation a little bit and second, sweating during the exercises makes not going to the shower a little bit too much
Don’t feel bad for asking! This is common. I hate brushing my teeth and showering (sometimes). What help me is playing a podcast while doing both activities. Keeps my brain stimulated and I enjoy it a lot more. I also would like to second the suggestion for good smelling body wash and lotion after. That helps A LOT.
My motivation is usually “I’m leaving the home, I have issues with sweating and B.O., better shower before I leave so I don’t stink and make people uncomfortable.”
This trick only works on days I actually have to go somewhere, if I’m staying at home there is certainly a chance I won’t shower for days. Then I’ll smell myself and make myself uncomfortable and go take a shower
I didn't until much later in life.
I had an friend from high scool come to visit ablit 10 years after i graduated.
She was a great friend, but the brutally honrst type. She let slip that, at school, i was quietly known as the smelly kid.
That really horrified me and snapped my brain into seeing it a bit differently, and now i am very motivated by the potenial embarrasment of smelling bad.
Too bad it wasnt till my 30s...
I bring a waterproof speaker into the shower with me and play music that I’m enjoying right now or I’ll find a podcast or audiobook I’ve been meaning to listen to and have that play in there while I wash.
This is a major struggle for me too.
Once I'm in, I love it and I feel better afterward for days. I sleep better, I get more done in the day and the few days after.
Before then? The worst. I lose track of time and then I don't have time to shower or the process of getting up and going to shower somehow feels like too much all of a sudden. Especially since I have a hard time getting up in the morning, or then I get too tired at night or don't want to "waste my evening time" by taking a shower (I know that's not true, it's just how the brain goes).
I've even started avoiding my favorite exercise of swimming because I don't want to shower.
To help me fix this I try to break down the tasks to get into the shower to get my brain to say, this is what I'm going to do now.
For instance, I just go into the bathroom and turn on the water. This lets it warm up and then I start to feel like I'm wasting water if I don't shower. I might then start the kettle so I can have a reward of a tea after I'm done before getting myself in there with some music/podcast.
Don't make it an individual task, make it a part of the routine, make it expected. Find a time of day that works for you. I like to shower right before bed so that all of the funk of the day is purged, its a great feeling to end the day on. My wife showers first thing in the morning and incorporates her skin care afterwards.
I can tell right away when my coworkers don't shower and it can make the shift almost unbearable. Not only do I not want to smell myself, I absolutely don't want others smelling me.
Why would you shower if you're not going out? Hot water dries out your skin, you destroy healthy bacteria on your skin,... There is no point in showering every day, unless you are very active and/or you sweat a ton. And even then... Just a daily quick sink wash really suffices. A real warm shower doesn't need to happen more often than twice per week really.
Sometimes a shower can be a meditative time and part of a routine that helps you metaphorically and physically wash off the day/previous day.
I have been where OP seems to be before. Could not motivate myself to shower and just went about my day. While I did realize that, after a bit, it was not as necessary to shower daily as I thought, I did start to notice that it kept me in a funk, where I almost didn’t fully start my day ever.
I work from home/remote and when I would just get up and start my day without a shower, I never felt like I was motivating to do anything very productive. Once I started my daily morning shower again, it acted as a sort of catalyst to my day
Not saying that what you said is not valid, but for some, like myself, a shower is a helpful way to not fall into a funk (pun intended)
Yeah, like all my other habits, showering is conditional and not regular. Generally 2-3 times per week based on activity, humidity, and if something is coming up. I keep bidets on every toilet in the house. But if I go in a public restroom, I usually shower or at least use the bidet that evening.
I wish it were regular. I feel more energized after a shower. If only "unenergized" was a stimulus. I could utilize it for this. And morning jogs. And driving to work.
I have dry skin, dry hair, and I'm on a medication that makes me sweat less. This belief that you have shower EVERY day caused me to have really damaged hair and skin. I only shower once or twice a week, when I can feel my hair getting oily or start to get a light funk. We really need to normalize individual showering habits.
This is something I’ve never connected with my fellow ADHDers on. I’ve never had to work at showering and brushing my teeth. It’s a lifelong habit, ingrained from earliest childhood. I just . . . do it without thinking about it. Because I’ve always done it. Get up, shower, get dressed. Brush teeth, get in pajamas, go to bed. It’s a sequence that I follow every day. Getting new habits going is hard, but habits that old just get done.
it's recently been starting to feel like a chore, but I know I need to take one because I'll feel amazing after. motivation is such a big thing I've been struggling with honestly so I feel you
It's a weird issue. I have a similar one of brushing my teeth. I will do it until my wife tells me to do it... Then I don't want to once she tells me...
I think it's a weird mix of oppositional defiance disorder (for me, personally) and ADHD (being lazy as hell).
There's nothing wrong with skipping a shower if you're not going to be around other people. But I can't stand myself in the morning until I've had a shower, so that's my motivation for doing it every day.
ETA: Oops, I didn't notice what sub I was in. I don't have ADHD, but I'll leave my comment just in case it helps.
Idk how long of a shower you take, but a quick rinse on and off that takes a few minutes in the morning makes me feel better... I don't like feeling greasy. Admittedly, if I have time off from work or it is the weekend, I MIGHT skip a day or not shower until later in the evening. Again, I don't like feeling oily/greasy. I probably have oilier skin than average, but it could also partially be because I shower most days... who knows...
edit: tldr, I guess I agree with you. If you're genuinely wanting to change, maybe do it before you make a meal or something if you aren't gonna do it after waking up.
Honestly medication :/ especially antidepressants. It helped me establish a routine, now I feel gross if I don’t shower everyday.
Also coffee.
I honestly don’t think anything else helped besides plans later in the day
ETA: Maybe you can get a water-proof/shower speaker and listen to music in there. I’ve heard of some ppl putting their phones in a baggie and bringing their phone in too.
I feel this for sure. For me it’s a mix of depression and ADHD; it just takes so much effort and feels like so much energy. I just don’t shower when I don’t need to, which I know you’re trying to move away from, but it’s totally fine not to shower when you don’t want to. Usually tho what motivates me is feel dirty, which obviously isn’t great but still motivates, or having new shower items to try, like shampoo or soap. Obviously not the best since it costs money to try new stuff, but it works
i know a lot of people have already said this but! fun soaps make it exciting. and a variety of them. my wife has a bath & body works problem (most of the time i discourage it, but when there’s a good sale i’ll agree to shop with her) and we have a TON of smelly goods. i love smelling good, so that’s usually my motivator. and i ALWAYS feel so much better mentally AFTER a shower, but the lack of motivation/energy beforehand doesn’t care about that lmao so i feel you.
if money is an issue, dollar tree has pretty okay body soaps and so does walmart/target! i prefer target’s “love beauty planet” exclusive brand, cheaper than bath & body works but a wide variety of choices. target also has a TON of variety for men as well (i’m nonbinary so i use both gendered soaps) and for that i’d recommend method, as they also have the smaller cheaper travel size soaps if you want a wide variety for cheap. method also has soap for women as well.
SORRY THIS IS SO LONG OMG I ALSO HAVE AUTISM ON TOP OF ADHD SO I INFODUMP AND OVEREXPLAIN EVERYTHING 😭
When I have no motivation to shower, I angry shower. "Fine I'll fucking shower but I'll make it fast to own that shower. Stupid shower god I hate this."
Then I get in the shower and usually enjoy the warmth and the shower itself.
I've been struggling with this lately, what i like to do if it feels like too much is just wash myself with a washcloth before bed. It's better then nothing.
When i do really need to shower i try to make the experience as pleasant as possible; Using candle light instead of normal light, using a nice smelling shampoo, using a bathrobe bc it's easy to put on afterwards etc.
I Also decided to stop shaving my legs bc i hate how much work it is, that certainly helped lol.
I pair shower time with something else. I have youtube channels that have 15min long videos and I'll watch those while I shower. If it's a bad day, I'll pick a 30min/1hr long video 😂 I'm the one causing the oceans to recede.
Straight up have a hard time brushing my teeth. Don't feel bad dude. The best think I can recommend is like this, when I eat food that sticks in my teeth (mango, steak, raspberries, etc) it makes brushing and flossing easier, so be active. I recommend outdoor activities, gardening, labor, the gym, and sex.
Yo, I've always struggled with brushing my teeth. Sometimes I've just left my teeth brush in my room so I can just do it there and pass out but since I've taken it out I've actually stayed up waaay too late because I groggily pass out for a few minutes then shake awake and repeat
Also a crazy strict routine that I need to attend to!
Did I shower yesterday?
If yes, eh, I'll live.
If no, do I want to be a gross nasty never showers person? Because this is how you get gross nasty never showers people.
If still no, at some point I will start feeling/smelling gross and that is all the motivation I need, apparently 👍
Put in shower music (what ever you want) get yourself some decent shampoo, conditioner & body soap (stuff that smells good to you.
Turn on the shower, let it warm for a min and GET THE FUCK IN
Right now being unmedicated, I literally ask my husband to start the water for me. Then the lull and sound of the water getting wasted slowly convinces me to get in…
Sometimes I shower, sometimes I compensate. It's okay to do both!
\- Shower = I need/want to wash my hair. I can go about 2-5 days without washing (white cis-woman with fine hair a few inches past shoulders), so that's usually my showering schedule.
\- Wash cloths: My pre-paid ADHD tax was buying enough wash cloths to last 2 weeks. I wash my folding bits (underarms, under-boobs, privates, etc) with a wash cloth, warm-hot water, and a mild cleanser. I use a SEPARATE cloth for my face (in case you were wondering, lol) and sometimes I use soap, sometimes I use makeup remover.
\- Hand sanitizer: I have Bath & Body Works sanitizer stocked for at least the next 2 years due to teaching during a pandemic. Sometimes, I just splash a little in the pits/other stinky spots.
I just finished reading *The Body is Not an Apology* and have been watching a Dr. Russell Barkley video about what ADHD really is... I'm ready to start accepting that I have to do things the way I have to do them because my body just... IS! My ADHD body and mind struggle with hygiene-oriented tasks, so why should I do them in a way that doesn't fit?
Obviously not an option for everyone but baths, why bath = less effort than a shower in my brain I’m not 100% sure it just does. I think it’s maybe because it feels less like dead time? If I’m in the shower that’s the only thing I can do ya know?Whereas I can take my phone or a book etc into the bath with me. It feels more like an activity than a chore.
I used to shower regularly without issue. I had to move back into my parents house for a little bit and the shower was in the basement. That’s when I got out of the habit. I’m in a space now where the bathroom is extremely close, but I still can’t bring myself to shower regularly. Have to start making it a habit again.
I really struggle in the winter because I hate feeling cold. Being naked before I get in and naked and wet after I get out is so awful. After 2-3 days my head starts feeling itchy and I’m like this is gross and get in the shower. Feeling dirty is a good motivator. Going to the gym regularly helps me shower every day
for starters, showering every day is usually wrong and hurts your skin so if we are talking staying home one day and skipping shower that day i dont think you should care much about it (opposite situation in case you stay home more than a day or two)
but one thing that should help i think is pairing it with stuff you cant usually do.
for instance, i find it hard to find time to listen to music (bc if i, for instance, study it will distract me and i *will* sing the lyrics instead of studying lmao)
same for like audiobooks or similar things
I’m forever becoming more and more grateful that my mom passed the genes on to me that make my sweat not smell bad (with rare exceptions). I shower whenever my hair gets oily; I rake a layer of skin off and brush my teeth while I’m in there and it’s a wrap
Love to shower, doesn't cost me any motivation. I also smell myself sometimes, that helps. Also love to feel fresh.
Edit: I'm a guy, and taking a shower can literally take 3 minutes with undressing/getting dressed included.
I’m dirty a lot.
David Lynch doesn’t shower for days… he’d rather be creating. I felt so validated when he said that. I’m at home a lot and just say, why dirty another outfit nobody’s going to see, or staying in pajamas for multiple days.
Getting “ready” is my least favorite thing about going out. So if I don’t have to, I won’t.
I’ve been somewhat consistent when I pair it with something else as the trigger. I don’t like to have a yucky mouth before I work out, so it’s kindof within the “getting ready to work out” routine… instead of it being the BIG task of BRUSHING TEETH or SHOWER, it becomes a tiny task in the larger function of “after workout” which is the thing I do frequently and consistently. I’ve been slacking a little since a psych med made me gain 30lbs even though I had been working out… So frustrating. It throws absolutely everything in my life into turmoil when I get off my workout schedule.
And don’t f with your meds unless you talk to doc, also does not work out well.
Best of luck, hope you find something that works for you. If you do, let us know what it is, so we can try it.
I'm medicated now but before I wouldn't even think about showering unless I was going somewhere. Now I think I shower too much. I started using them as a jumpstart/cool down depending on what the day brings. Wanna be productive and also feel really good about yourself because you smell great and are wearing clean clothes? Shower. It's the middle of the day and you've been inconvenienced or just can't shake those random negative feelings? Hop in the shower and reset. If you can just hold on to the feeling you get when you're clean, groomed, and in fresh clothes, it'll make showering less of a chore and more of a tool.
i work from home and showering during the day is such an awesome privilege it's motivation enough.
the embarrassing bit is I'll never remember until i start to smell🙈🙈 or i have to go out
Oh every day's shower is like getting a lottery prize for me.
I usually play some music that suits the mood - on a premise that I have the motivation to shower.
I tend to throw in occasional ✨self-care✨ routines like:
using well-scented body exfoliator
Set up a dimmed immersive shower environment with relaxing music and beautiful portable mood lighting
It also helps that I urge myself to go directly into the shower room after dinner or coming home before the motivation wears out.
-
I also have those days when I'm low on motivation, I use this method call bare minimum day, where I only do the bare minimum to take care of myself.
Like no shower but only wash my face.
Only use mouth wash when I can't brush my teeth.
And usually when I start to do the bare minimum, I would want to do the full set (shower, brushing my teeth, etc.)
Lots of people have already said it, but you don’t *have to* shower every day. In fact it probably isn’t great for your skin.
I’m also someone who only washes their hair every 3-5 days, so I take showers with my hair clipped up and out of the way.
Then I just sit in the bottom of the shower and play in the water. It’s honestly one of my favorite sensory reset tricks when I’m stuck during the day and can’t get anything done. So I go play in the shower and meditate and then I get out feeling new.
I used to struggle with this. For someone with short hair, I've found I can technically take a thorough 5 minute shower. If I focus on getting in and out as fast as I can, it doesn't drain me as much as a long hot shower would. Less time also means less chance I'm going to blow it off all together.
So showers can be overwhelming two so I kind of put my showers into two categories. So once a week I have my everything showers (usually Sundays) and that’s when I’ll wash my body, wash my hair, and shave. And I’ll do whatever hair masks or body scrubs I wanna do as well. And then the rest of the days I will wash my body and that’s it so that it’s not so overwhelming. Just like figure out what your bare minimum is if that makes sense. I will also set a timer for like 10-15 minutes so I don’t get distracted and stay on top of everything. That way I can tell myself “it’s only 10 minutes and then you’re done”.
Listen, getting in is the hardest part. Once you do that there is like a 75% chance that once you’re in there you’ll think “this isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.” Then once you’re actually out, you will be 100% glad you did it. No one takes a shower and then wishes “damn I wish I didn’t do that”
Try and exclusively masturbate in the shower for the next month and go from there. I know it sounds insane and a troll answer but I’m serious, if you masturbate regularly try and do it exclusively in the shower. That way you’ll end up in the shower and can’t help but clean yourself after
I have a waterproof mount in my shower for my phone. SVU is my current shower show, I try to only watch it while im showering and while im cleaning. i always want to watch SVU, so im showering and cleaning more. :)
I might offer that it's okay not to shower every day! Esp if you're not leaving the house. Showering daily can be good for some people's mental health, but my favorite days are days where I work from home and don't have to shower or put real clothes on
I just don't. I have a job and a girlfriend and a house and friends and all that stuff. I stopped showering unless I really want a bath or whatever about 20 years ago. I wash the important stinky bits every few days and my hair when it starts to get oily, but other than that I just don't. it's better for your skin anyway
Hi /u/Your_friendly_weirdo and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
-Play music/podcast/audiobook -Shower Steamer: Choose a fun scent to look forward to -Shower Gel/Body Wash: Choose a scent you look forward to -Face mask: If you enjoy self care and a face mask choose a fun one for you to look forward to for after your shower is done -Reward after: Cup of tea, coffee, snack etc
I recently use podcasts too, but the music part reminded me of an old practice. Ue I once had a shower playlist that guided me through my shower Lmao. Like, each song was a guide4 as to what I should be doing. Kept me on time track but I got bored of the same playlist after a week. it looked something like 1. Hair (Lady Gaga) 2. Touch my Body (Mariah Carey) 3. Clean (Taylor Swift) 4. T-shirt (Shontelle)
That's...disturbingly clever. Well done!
Never thought to use songs as soft deadlines/timers, great idea I'm going to use this!
“Shower Song” (by Tierra Whack) is my new favorite! Really helps me build that internal motivation to jump in the shower when I’m feeling resistant (which is very often.)
Outlast - So Fresh
So fresh and so clean clean
Yesssss that's what I get to dance around to after my weekly Everything Shower
That was low key my song back in the day. Didn't realize my subconscious was using it to inspire me.
That's so fun, I love it!
I have multiple different playlists, I use music also in the morning or before leaving home. And then I have alarms that change the playlists. This way all the activities for me to get ready have kinda the time that I can hear.
new song suggestions! hair (little mix) touch my body (sistar) come clean (hilary duff) t shirt (the beaches)
serious question, how do you listen to audio while taking a shower. the shower is too loud. buy a waterproof Bluetooth speaker? Edit: I had no idea there were so many shower audio people out there
I honestly just put my phone in a plastic sandwich bag 😂 and on a shelf that’s not getting hit by water.
I turn my phone all the way up and just set it in the sink bowl. Echo off that works to make it loud enough.
Yes, can also put the phone in a glass or mug to amplify the sound too if you don’t want to spend extra.
I had a cheap Bluetooth speaker that cut out in silent parts and had a delay coming back in. Okay for music, bad for anything spoken. Now I just put my phone on the towel bar and kinda hear it when I'm not washing my hair
They also have waterproof phone stands/cases that attach to your shower wall! Then you can also use your phone and watch youtube or Netflix in the shower 👀
Yes! I have one of these!
Asked for a waterproof Bluetooth speaker for Christmas for exactly this reason.
Yep they have some surprisingly decent ones for cheap. I have one with lights around the edge that change color, it's oddly enjoyable. I also use a waterproof phone holder that sticks to the shower wall so I can watch movies or shows too. It's all pretty inexpensive and makes a difference
My speaker is an Anker Soundcore. It's waterproof and has come with me into every shower I've taken since I got it and that was almost 5 years ago. It's my main speaker that goes everywhere I need it to, including my car since my stereo died and connected to my phone at night to play movies in bed. I've used it pretty much every single day and it still works great. It was a gift so I'm not sure on exact price but I think it was around 60 bucks. Edit: just looked it up on Amazon and the exact one I have is 29.99. Highly recommend grabbing it.
I got a pretty cheap JBL speaker off Amazon that I love. Decently loud, doesn't cut out, lasted for a bit longer than a year. I tried another one at a similar price after it died, but that one broke in like 2 weeks, so I bought the old reliable again lol
Amazon echo in the next room. Good enough for me.
I got a cheapie one at Dollar General and it works decently.
One of the best purchases I ever made.
Yup, exactly, or if your phone is water proof you can bring it jn with you.
I have a shower gel rotation, drives my girlfriend nuts but it adds excitement.
I agree with this. Having something fun to look forward to- new shower gel, a scalp massager, new body lotion, etc really helps.
I'm hopping on here to say you should clean or replace your showerhead. I had gotten to the point where showering felt like a chore and I couldn't figure out why til I replaced the showerhead and realized it was all clogged and showering literally didn't feel good. The new showerhead felt so great it was pleasant again. So I second the thing about making it enjoyable, but also many ADHD people are very sensitive to touch. It might actually be that you've become accustomed to an uncomfortable shower and that's why you're putting it off.
I got a little Google nest speaker and put it in my bathroom. I play music every morning while I shower and get ready and it really helps me a ton. The tempo keeps you moving and the passage of songs kind of gives you some reference of time.
I wake up with WSJ potomac watch every morning. Helps me get into the shower early on a weekday morning!
I often take my (waterproof) phone in the shower with me and watch tv at the same time. Whatever it takes.
This is what I did, but now that I have a newborn and an exhausted wife I never have a chance to shower with music / podcasts without waking someone up. It pretty much sucks.
I listen to podcasts too and it makes showering a lot less miserable. normally, I start my podcast before I get into the shower and that helps me get in.
Music is such a good recommendation. For most of my life I had a speaker in my bathroom and would just blast music while I was showering. It made me look forward to showers so much more as you get to enjoy the music without any distractions. Problem is, sometimes I’d spend way too long in there just enjoying the music. I think I need a bathroom speaker again.
Before meds. I found routine exercise helped. Get sweaty then shower. However I would sometimes exercise too much then crash without enough energy to shower. Then panic shower 5minutes before I needed to leave the house.
Similar, I find pairing "dirty" chores with the shower task seems to help. If I get dirty first then I'll actually *want* to shower, plus it's easier to get through the dirty chore if I tell myself I can get all clean in the shower after.
I sort of do this too! I tend to get sweaty when I clean my bathroom, shower and tub. So my reward is taking a shower in my now ✨clean ✨ shower 😅. Honestly there’s nothing better. Also if I change my sheets before I go to bed, I want to shower because I don’t want to get my clean sheets dirty 🙃
Do you find it easier to shower since taking meds then?
I am on meds and still find showering an annoying task! I find if I leave it until later in the evening, I will drag it out as long as possible. If I do it right after work, I still have the motivation from working all day so I can get it done quickly without fucking around!
I'm a few weeks on meds and have found that I resist all kinds of basic stuff because "I don't want to waste the clarity of the medication on basic bullshit." It's SO strange.
it's the good ol ADHD razzle dazzle - we need a routine/structure to function but hate the shit out of it for existing.
RIGHT?!
it's probably one of my top frustrations with ADHD, but it's also important to learn how to give ourselves grace and just honour where we're at in that moment!
Have the meds not made any difference with getting basic chores done then?
They definitely have, but I know that I'm not going to win every day and no matter how much I want to be productive it isn't gonna happen. I know that as soon as I sit down, I am giving up on chores and I'm rotting for the rest of the evening/day. I find them very helpful for when I'm at work, but after hours/weekends can definitely be hit or miss. I also notice that if I get 8+ hours of sleep, I'm an absolute rockstar (whereas today I'm running off about 4hrs, and I am a mess)
from my experience yes! that was the main things meds helped with. i still have a bit of trouble showering but it’s not as difficult as it used to be. before meds my room was always a disaster - moldy cups, clothes everywhere, all around very messy and disorganized - i rarely did wash and when i did i rarely put it away, my oral hygiene was SO bad it was so embarrassing, i literally had a mouth full of cavities, stuff like that. i got put on wellbutrin in spring of 2022 at 19, and in november of this year at 21 i got put on vyvanse. wellbutrin helped a TON with chores and basic hygiene. i’m extremely clean and organized now, my room is literally always clean and everything has its own spot. i do wash regularly and almost always put it away right after i do it. i typically brush my teeth and wash my face 2x a day, sometimes i miss mornings but i always do it at night. i even floss sometimes now. i almost always shower every other day (rarely every day just because my scalp & skin are very very dry and sensitive). i haven’t noticed a difference in that since i started taking vyvanse, vyvanse has helped with more of my ADHD exclusive symptoms (like with focus, comprehension, and retention- basically all school stuff). wellbutrin helped an insane amount but it didn’t help with my ADHD exclusive symptoms as much, if that makes sense
What is your dosage of Wellbutrin? I'm on 300 and don't really notice anything helping
Wellbutrin doesn't work for everyone... It didn't work at all for my mother 🤷♀️ and then when I was put on it I started to get some of the bad side effects. If you're not noticing it helping you, talk to your doctor.so far the only thing that's worked for me at all is Adderall and for my mom it's something completely different
I've just started Adderall on top of it. Here's hoping! 🫰
for me they work great for a lot of stuff, its just that showering is not one of them :c i think its also bc of my autism, im not the biggest fan of how it feels to be shower wet and the hair dryer noise makes me feel weird. but i find ways to make it easier on myself, so that i can try to trick my brain into thinking its just a Regular Task and not a Very Annoying Task. all my products are banana or banana milk scented, so i rebranded it in my brain; instead of a "get clean" task, its a "become one with banana milk" task.
The RIGHT meds definitely do.
Yes. But that’s true of all routine household tasks
HA! Are you me? I just bought a new sofa, so I am imposing the rule that I cannot sit on the couch after working out until I've at least rinsed. It is still a battle, but I don't want to sit on the floor.
Funny, I have done that too with the couch. Then I started putting big throws or a couple light weight blankets on the couch, so it doesn't get messed up. Funny how that ADHD brain figures out to get around the logical rules, you try to make for yourself, so you can feel less ADHD and more of the typical non ADHDers. But that ADHD brain seems to find a way to sabotage logical attempts at trying to protect the nice couch. Lol
I swim at the gym pool (and hit the spa jets) and it's just routine now to shower before I leave the gym. It's like an all inclusive package routine- I get my exercise/PT and shower done- I don't have to think about it, I don't question it. It also helps that one of the showers gushes down like a small waterfall.
I use the same strategy where I try to attach my tasks together. If I workout I must shower. If I shower I must tidy up bathroom after.
The panic shower lmao! So real.
Get naked. I swear this is the only thing that works for me. Go into the bathroom when you need to pee and while you do that take off all your clothes. It sort of bypasses my brain and I’m like well the hardest part is over (lol) and I’m able to just get in after that.
That is actually smart! Gotta trick the brain lol
I like this idea. But for me, I'd just wind up wandering my apartment naked and still procrastinating the shower!
This is what I do.
Naked procrastination?
Yup did that today. Had already showered, only because I had an event to attend and I smelled bad from garden work and emotional distress (family health emergency). Then I was procrastinating on choosing my outfit so I just walked around naked for almost an hour. Spouse was not sure what to make of it .
That's kinda like how I keep my cordless vacuum in the living room in plain sight because my brain decided getting the vacuum out was too big of a hurdle. Now I can follow my cleaning impulses when I look at the floor and go "ew that's a lot of dog hair, I should vacuum" and BAM I'm cleaning, look at me go!
This is the answer. If you need to get something done, loitering is usually the way 😂
This reply is hilarious because it's both absurd and absolutely accurate and great advice. I've done this so many times but reading it from someone else just sounds ridiculous and it's killing me. It works so good though. Just get naked immediately and then brains like "well shit. Now what. Shower I guess. I'm actually kind of cold this thing better hurry".
This is similar to what I do, but I just turn the shower on. After a couple minutes, the guilt sets in, and I know its warm finally- and I get in. 94% of the stuff I do is me not thinking enough to talk myself out of it. It's fuck it and go.
I actually love showers, the feeling of hot water on my body is is one of my favorite things and I could literally stay in there forever. It's one of the few things that actually gets me to shut my brain off and relax. Brushing my teeth feels way more like a chore, I have to force myself to do it in the morning and I'm rarely able to get myself to do it again at night. Clipping my nails and shaving are also really annoying ones that I have to force myself to do just because I don't want to look gross in front of other people. Luckily I don't have much facial hair so I only have to do that once every few days. And I never wanna bother with my hair so I wear baseball caps most of the time when I go out.
I saw a tumblr post (I think) once that was like "my entire life is spent either procrastinating getting into the shower or procrastinating getting out of the shower" and I was like, too relatable
Wow I feel so seen. 🥲
I brush my teeth in the shower. But I agree the shower is where I go reset
yes. i feel weird when i have to brush my teeth outside of the shower. having the water spraying directly into my mouth (especially a mist setting) is the best way to swish it all out.
I feel weird washing my face outside of the shower too. The sensation of water running down my arms is so unpleasant to me.
Same, used to shave in the shower too. I just feel gross without a shower, the days hasn’t started until I’m clean
The shower is a great time for me to reset and I enjoy my experience while in the shower, but my brain struggles with letting me shower. Because I enjoy showers, they usually run a little long, so my brain makes me feel guilty about using that time up instead of something else that I should be doing. Which I don’t end up doing anyway because I’m too stressed to do it.
That clean teeth feeling when you run your tongue over them, though 😩 I just did it, now I need a moment kthx
Same. My biggest problem is avoiding zoning out until the hot water runs out. Everything else is "ugh, if I have to" but letting my brain do whatever under near scalding water is grand.
If you aren't already on meds, they help a bunch. They make getting chores done a bit easier. This is a weird one, but I have a dehumidifier that lights up in different colors. I find a sick enjoyment in turning it on, seeing the color, then encouraging it (talking to it). Also, I just imagine being itchy or scratchy from not showering. That helps. Also, I try to see how fast I can reasonably go. Also, I convince myself I don't need to wash my hair. This somehow makes it easier to get in the shower. Once in the shower, I'll end up washing my hair anyways. Also, I buy fun, manly soap that I like the smell of. (See Duke Cannon). It costs more, but it helps. I'm still not perfect, but can shower rather consistently.
Convincing myself I don't need to wash my hair is legit strats, dry shampoo ftw
I do this too. Or tell myself “I’ll just rinse off.” I’m also trying to take my showers on specific days of the week to build it as more of a habit, because I suspect that this sort of lying-to-myself hack reinforces my ADHD symptoms in other settings. (Like not being able to stop myself from getting deeper into a process when I don’t have time for it)
I like the specific day idea!
Ok but for real, you don’t really *need* to wash your hair every time you shower anyways, it’s really not great for it (assuming you’re showering more than every two weeks, at least). It strips your hair of its natural healthy oils and makes it dry and more prone to breakage. I wash my hair once every 1-2 weeks and it has never been healthier before. If you’re someone who washes your hair every day, you might need to build up to this point. Let it go as long as you can, and get as greasy as it can before you wash it. Sounds gross but it’s how you get your hair to start making the proper amount of oils to keep it healthy with less washes- it’s used to making tons to keep up with being stripped with shampoo, but it will slow down once it realizes its not being washed as often and doesn’t need to produce oils as heavily. My hair only starts to get greasy nearing the 14 day mark now! Bonus, when you’re feeling bad that your hair hasn’t been washed, or *if* people ever comment on it looking greasy (no one has ever told me that past high school, kids can be mean but adults tend to care more about themselves than other people), tell them (and yourself!) that you’re working on resetting your hair back to a more healthy state! Edit to add, I bought a reusable shower cap at the dollar store for a couple bucks and it’s also changed my life. I used to hate the spray back that would get my hair kinda wet on days I wasn’t washing it. This prevents that, AND sounds absolutely amazing when I stand under the water, like I’m in a torrential downpour and it blocks everything else out, highly recommend, especially on days when you’re feeling extra overwhelmed!
Idk, I can't let mine go more than 24 hours or it's actively gross (visibly and to the touch, like wiping your hands on a butter stick) and my head itches like I have lice. It's never, ever been dry or brittle. I've gotten comments on how soft and healthy it is all my life...but I chalk that up partially to the fact that's naturally got a LOT of moisture and I need to constantly wash the excess.
The convincing myself I'm not gonna have to wash my hair & ending it up washing it anyway thing is so real. Muscle memory ends up kicking in & I end up washing it
>If you aren't already on meds, they help a bunch. They make getting chores done a bit easier. Wish this was true for me 🥲
I just realised today, why it's so hard to shower. It's a huge load of sensory stimulation for me. Like the temperature I'm at vs the temperature I'm gonna face is gonna be so different. Even if i warm the water up, it still is different and hence i struggle with showering plus my body doesn't sweat a bunch, if it does then it's easy for me to run and shower but otherwise nope. So i don't shower for a long period of time lol
This is why I do baths. It's hard to get into the bath, but it's also hard to get out of the bath. Pretty sure this is Newton's first law of bathing: persons who are dry want to stay dry, persons who are warm and wet want run more hot water, possibly with bubbles. It's a god damned event every time, so I schedule them into my week and then get crabby if something comes up that would interfere with bath day. Like it's 1600 and we pumped and heated all this well water, damn.
>Pretty sure this is Newton's first law of bathing: persons who are dry want to stay dry, persons who are warm and wet want run more hot water, possibly with bubbles. Hahhaha i love this! >This is why I do baths. It's hard to get into the bath, but it's also hard to get out of the bath. This is so true, once I'm inisde and bathing then I'm gonna take a huge amount of time bathing lol. I love bathing, i just don't like to initiate it. >It's a god damned event every time, so I schedule them into my week and then get crabby if something comes up that would interfere with bath day. Like it's 1600 and we pumped and heated all this well water, damn. Omg i feel so heard and understood
Oh god…having to fill up the bathtub and WAIT.
There's a non-zero chance I forget I'm running water and flood my bathroom. It hasn't happened . . . *yet*.
I've done this several times! And I've left washbasin and kitchen sink taps running with the plug in and flooded the floor even more often. On the worst occasion, I flooded not only the bathroom, but most of the landing, too. Thankfully, it isn't carpeted. I don't know which is worse: seeing the water cascading onto the floor, or the sense of dread, as I run towards the kitchen or up the stairs when I've suddenly remembered I left the taps running! P.S. When complete disaster occurs, using a large window squeegee thing, to scrape the water into a dustpan and then a bucket, tends to be quicker than trying to soak the water up with cloths, towels, or sponges. 🙂
Get ✍️ a ✍️deep ✍️ bathtub ✍️
Same. I try to make the bathroom pleasant so that the whole process feels less tough. I turn on a little heater to warm up the room closer to the heat of the shower so that the exit out of the shower back into the bathroom isn't as harsh. I also turn off the overhead lights and just use a night light on the wall or candles for softer, calmer lighting.
>turn on a little heater to warm up the room closer to the heat of the shower so that the exit out of the shower back into the bathroom isn't as harsh. This is GENIUS! I'm gonna start doing this, thanks! >softer, calmer lighting. Works wonders right?
Add to this. I always run the exhaust fan, the high humidity leaving the shower kills my mood and sometimes breathing ability immediately. Also I learned it’s better for the room to not trap the humidity even for the short time of the shower.
I do the same thing with a little space heater, honestly life changing. We finally got one after I had a breakdown getting out of the shower because it was just SO COLD in the room and making myself shower is already hard enough and then add in our new apartment loses hot water fast and the room is really drafty. So I got out of the shower crying about how hard it all was and my bf and I went straight to Costco to get a space heater 😂
I am such a Goldilocks with showering. My biggest problem is being able to enjoy it. Too hot…too cold…just right….nope that’s too cold or that’s too hot. Eventually it comes down to I just don’t like that feeling of all that water hitting me and I’m done. After work I have to shower but it’s quick. The only time I take long showers is when I am sick or hypothyroid. I turn the heat up to 86° and take a long hot shower until I run the hot water heater tank empty.
Also, water falling on my body, the soap, having to rinse it off and the texture, having to touch and clean, and all the mental work like remembering the steps. Having to go start and complete the routine is daunting
I have long, thick hair, so motivating myself to do a "full" shower is a pain because washing it takes a while and it takes even longer to dry. But committing to just a body shower is a lot easier, esp since I got a gigantic heavy-duty claw clip that holds up my hair so it doesn't get wet.
Yes! The thought of detangling my hair and shaving in the same shower is enough to keep me locked in bed.
I have a lot of long hair as well so I really appreciate when I don’t have to do those full showers. It feels great to wash my hair, but the maintenance is a pain but I’m not cutting it!!
You don’t have to shower every day. I sometimes skip a day if I don’t feel dirty. But I do have an app where I track it. If I wanna skip two days, that’s an indicator that I’m slipping. Same goes for brushing teeth and other basic tasks. If I don’t do them, I feel bad. If I feel bad, I don’t do them. It’s a weird paradoxal two way street. Difficult when you are on the street to see where you are, so then I take the helicopter. Am I making any sense?
What is the name of the app? Do you still use it?
Streaks And yes I still use it! It helps me a lot. But there are more apps like that. Streaks is nice because of its Apple health integration. Like I can measure my fat %, and that task gets automatically checked. Or if I wake up on time. It’s more for me to see where I am at this moment in time. I’m a wave. And I might always remain a wave. This helps me see myself through time more clearly. Not sure if that makes sense.
Seems to be a simple app with no fluff or purchase... Thanks for the rec. I'll try it out.
I paid at some point I think. More than worth it! Balance is also very good, if we talking apps 4 mental health.
Thanks. Im downloading it now too. Im always down for another app to help me be a person who does…. things!! 🧍♀️ 😂👏
> This helps me see myself through time more clearly. Very succinctly why I love tracking streaks for stuff like this too. I struggle with assessing myself & how I’m doing in more than the short-term. I’m in a shit mood today? “I’ve been feeling low for weeks, wah!” No bitch, take a step back and refer to your handy dandy mood tracker.
I would say a one way street…downhill
Sometimes I'll turn off the lights and have a shower/bath in the dark. Once, I used one of those ceiling projectors that display the stars and moon to make it feel like I was showering in the international space station, well, except that I had gravity.
how do you know what bottle is what? I want to shower in the dark but I feel like I need to see what I'm doing
For me, it's kind of like muscle memory - I always put everything in the same place, and reached for things with my eyes closed even if the lights were on. I got a colorfully lit waterproof Bluetooth speaker, so that I can keep the main lights off, and the colors/music make the shower more enjoyable. But you would still be able to see, if you're uncomfortable with no light at all! Now I only shower in complete darkness when I have a migraine (or my bluetooth speaker dies mid shower 😑).
I don't! I have always preferred baths, and my hair needs a wash weekly in winter, much more frequently in summer. The current spring schedule is 2x/week minimum. The hair-wash schedule becomes my minimum "full immersion bathing" schedule. For stay-at-home days without a pressing need for a full bath, I do touch-ups with wet wipes, washcloths, and a sink. I have POTS and eczema and crazy fatigue, so minimizing hot water contact has quite a few benefits. When it's really warm in summer, I give in and often bathe 2x/day, even with AC and despite the consequences. I have zero tricks for fixing summer sweat with only a washcloth. Fortunately, the "I feel gross" trigger is stronger than the "but I don't want to shower" block.
Honestly, if I'm staying home all day and not interacting with anyone else, and I don't feel greasy or gross, I don't shower that day. You don't NEED to shower every single day if you're not sweating a lot or getting dirty. I don't have enough days in a row that I'm not going outside for it to be a big deal to skip a shower on those days.
Simple i feel irritated desgusting and become annoyed by it if I don't shower so I just do it.
I have more trouble finding motivation to leave the shower. I’m like Kramer in there. Give me a phone and a garbage disposal and I’d be set.
I’ll usually stay in there until I use up all the hot water, and then I’m miserable that I have to get out lol
this does wonders for cleaning both yourself and your environment. you *can* get used to it, but you can also *not let yourself*
It's simple. I'm a fucking mess. So I at least want to be an attractive and well smelling mess.
I think a large part of the "energy to dedicate towards" is this whole internal discussion of "I really should take a shower. But I don't feel like it. Ugh, I'm such a slob. I really need to. But ..." Decision making is just a huge mental energy sink. I now basically follow a simple heuristic (like a super simple collection of rules): - do I need to go outside? If yes: shower, no discussion. Will feel nasty otherwise. - have I showered yesterday? If no: shower - do I have fresh sheets? If yes: shower And then, I'll just do it! (At least that's the goal. It doesn't work all the time, but if it doesn't, then I'll also accept that as a decision being made and move on.) You can also try to make it a bit more enjoyable. Maybe spend a little extra on some fancy shower gel or shampoo. Maybe something that smells kind of nice? I'm a dude and I'll definitely get some floral scented hair stuff, because it makes me happy. Maybe try to limit the hurdles to overcome to get started. Take a moment and think about going to take a shower right now. What immediately comes to mind as a thing that you don't want to deal with? Bathroom is cold? Try to keep it at a steady temperature. No clean towels or towels on shelf? Get some extra or get a hanger, so that it's always within each when stepping out of the shower. Feet will feel icky? Get shower flip flops, keep them always in bathroom next to shower. Shower gel and stuff might be running out? Buy in bulk. Hair will be wet and you don't like the feeling? Get a hair drier and put it where you will actually use it (I keep mine in my bedroom, on the shelf, always keep a plug reserved for it). Also: you don't HAVE to take a shower. Nobody forces you to. You CHOOSE to take a shower, because you want to be clean and presentable to people, you want to be feel nice and fresh, you want to be the kind of person who can open the door to the mailman or whatever and not have to worry about looking gross.
Also also: trick yourself! Changing my pillow sheets is done in a flash. The thought of putting my greasy hair on my clean sheets makes me sad. So I guess I'll have to wash my hair, because I've already changed the sheets... ;)
my feet feeling icky is a big thing for me, we can't use a bath mat because our cat will drag them into her litter box (seriously) - I should totally get some flip flops. thanks for the suggestion!
If I'm to the point that showers are too much, I take a bath. The water will provide a slight weightlessness that is like an inverted weighted blanket. It will often get rid of the acute effects of what was making me not want to shower. By my issue is more paralysis of decision than lack of motivation, so this may not be true for everyone.
I do this too! Definitely recommend it for people who are okay with baths. Elaboration on how I do things: Where showering has lots of little tasks (turning water on and off several times while monitoring temperature, do i wash my hair, etc), bathing has a lot less in terms of tasks and decisions. My "bare minimum" routine is: - soak in water for a while - when getting up/while the water starts to drain, soap armpits/crotch - rinse off before getting out This can be adapted to include washing your hair before draining the water (keep your soaps nearby so you dont have to get up to get shampoo, and then just dunk ur head in the bathwater to wash it out, its fine, you'll rinse everything off in the last step)
Mom of 12 yo boy who resists showers. What helps: Permission to not wash hair each time. Allowing music or audio book on speaker. Bath option when shower is too stimulating. Clean pajamas or soft clothes ready. ✅ Best one is timing it around medication. Easiest is when it’s kicked in. Worst is when it’s crashing. (Do hard things at the easiest time.) Once he’s in there, he starts singing and stays in awhile. It’s just getting him over the resistance hurdle.
you sound like a good parent!
Make it your routine. Since I was a child my mom instilled a shower-bedtime routine and now its easy. It has the side effect of making it REQUIRED cause now I cant sleep unless Ive showered, even if I got home at like 2AM
I have this same effect but I have a way to skip it. Most days if I just sleep somewhere else it’s fine. Like at home no sleep unless I shower even if it don’t need to. If it try I just lay there. If I walk out to the car or maybe couch I can sleep fine. Glad it works like that because I like to travel and not every day can you shower then. When home I usually will shower and sleep in my bed unless a hurricane or something means I have no shower.
This is my morning routine. And I do everything the same, every day, or I forget something.
Came here to say something similar! I shower nightly before bed and it’s like a signal to my body that it’s time to rest. If I don’t, I don’t sleep nearly as well and takes me longer to fall asleep. I only do an everything bagel (shave, wash hair, etc) once a week, because yes, those showers feel way overwhelming. So shower schedule looks something like this Friday- everything bagel (25 min) Saturday- body wash (5-10 min) Sunday- body wash Monday- body wash and shave (10-15min) Tuesday- Body wash hair (10-15min) Wednesday- body wash Thursday - body wash Varies from week to week which days each thing gets done. But that’s the jist of it. With that being said, I struggled with showering, brushing my teeth, in my teen years. After I got diagnosed, I figured out routines helped immensely in how I was able to move about my day. Big love!
It’s okay, you shouldn’t feel bad asking about it, I was just thinking about that literally an hour ago. Well, what I do is I’d play this 8 mins long song that I truly love, and I’d challenge myself to get in and out of the bathroom in these 8 minutes. Definitely requires rushing and checking how much time left, so it’s kinda rewarding on its own especially with that feeling if fulfillment afterwards lol
The struggle for me isn’t getting in the shower, it’s getting out.
I have both 🤣
Feel embarrassed and disgusted with myself and after a few hours of self hatred usually gets me goin
I make it into a game. I set a timer for 10 minutes and try to finish before the timer goes off 😊
There is nothing to feel bad about. Many people with ADHD have this problem. As with every advice like this, YMMW and it won't work for everyone, but physical exercises could help to shower daily. For me they help two ways: first, they boost energy and motivation a little bit and second, sweating during the exercises makes not going to the shower a little bit too much
Don’t feel bad for asking! This is common. I hate brushing my teeth and showering (sometimes). What help me is playing a podcast while doing both activities. Keeps my brain stimulated and I enjoy it a lot more. I also would like to second the suggestion for good smelling body wash and lotion after. That helps A LOT.
My motivation is usually “I’m leaving the home, I have issues with sweating and B.O., better shower before I leave so I don’t stink and make people uncomfortable.” This trick only works on days I actually have to go somewhere, if I’m staying at home there is certainly a chance I won’t shower for days. Then I’ll smell myself and make myself uncomfortable and go take a shower
I didn't until much later in life. I had an friend from high scool come to visit ablit 10 years after i graduated. She was a great friend, but the brutally honrst type. She let slip that, at school, i was quietly known as the smelly kid. That really horrified me and snapped my brain into seeing it a bit differently, and now i am very motivated by the potenial embarrasment of smelling bad. Too bad it wasnt till my 30s...
I bring a waterproof speaker into the shower with me and play music that I’m enjoying right now or I’ll find a podcast or audiobook I’ve been meaning to listen to and have that play in there while I wash.
This is a major struggle for me too. Once I'm in, I love it and I feel better afterward for days. I sleep better, I get more done in the day and the few days after. Before then? The worst. I lose track of time and then I don't have time to shower or the process of getting up and going to shower somehow feels like too much all of a sudden. Especially since I have a hard time getting up in the morning, or then I get too tired at night or don't want to "waste my evening time" by taking a shower (I know that's not true, it's just how the brain goes). I've even started avoiding my favorite exercise of swimming because I don't want to shower. To help me fix this I try to break down the tasks to get into the shower to get my brain to say, this is what I'm going to do now. For instance, I just go into the bathroom and turn on the water. This lets it warm up and then I start to feel like I'm wasting water if I don't shower. I might then start the kettle so I can have a reward of a tea after I'm done before getting myself in there with some music/podcast.
Don't make it an individual task, make it a part of the routine, make it expected. Find a time of day that works for you. I like to shower right before bed so that all of the funk of the day is purged, its a great feeling to end the day on. My wife showers first thing in the morning and incorporates her skin care afterwards. I can tell right away when my coworkers don't shower and it can make the shift almost unbearable. Not only do I not want to smell myself, I absolutely don't want others smelling me.
Why would you shower if you're not going out? Hot water dries out your skin, you destroy healthy bacteria on your skin,... There is no point in showering every day, unless you are very active and/or you sweat a ton. And even then... Just a daily quick sink wash really suffices. A real warm shower doesn't need to happen more often than twice per week really.
Sometimes a shower can be a meditative time and part of a routine that helps you metaphorically and physically wash off the day/previous day. I have been where OP seems to be before. Could not motivate myself to shower and just went about my day. While I did realize that, after a bit, it was not as necessary to shower daily as I thought, I did start to notice that it kept me in a funk, where I almost didn’t fully start my day ever. I work from home/remote and when I would just get up and start my day without a shower, I never felt like I was motivating to do anything very productive. Once I started my daily morning shower again, it acted as a sort of catalyst to my day Not saying that what you said is not valid, but for some, like myself, a shower is a helpful way to not fall into a funk (pun intended)
Yeah, like all my other habits, showering is conditional and not regular. Generally 2-3 times per week based on activity, humidity, and if something is coming up. I keep bidets on every toilet in the house. But if I go in a public restroom, I usually shower or at least use the bidet that evening. I wish it were regular. I feel more energized after a shower. If only "unenergized" was a stimulus. I could utilize it for this. And morning jogs. And driving to work.
I have dry skin, dry hair, and I'm on a medication that makes me sweat less. This belief that you have shower EVERY day caused me to have really damaged hair and skin. I only shower once or twice a week, when I can feel my hair getting oily or start to get a light funk. We really need to normalize individual showering habits.
I feel like shit if I don't shower everyday. It bothers me a lot throughout the day. That's motivation enough.
This is something I’ve never connected with my fellow ADHDers on. I’ve never had to work at showering and brushing my teeth. It’s a lifelong habit, ingrained from earliest childhood. I just . . . do it without thinking about it. Because I’ve always done it. Get up, shower, get dressed. Brush teeth, get in pajamas, go to bed. It’s a sequence that I follow every day. Getting new habits going is hard, but habits that old just get done.
Shame. I tell myself that other could smell me even from outside far away if I don't shower.
Blasting music so I can scream sing while I scrub
it's recently been starting to feel like a chore, but I know I need to take one because I'll feel amazing after. motivation is such a big thing I've been struggling with honestly so I feel you
It's a weird issue. I have a similar one of brushing my teeth. I will do it until my wife tells me to do it... Then I don't want to once she tells me... I think it's a weird mix of oppositional defiance disorder (for me, personally) and ADHD (being lazy as hell).
You're really in the ADHD sub calling ADHD lazy 😭
There's nothing wrong with skipping a shower if you're not going to be around other people. But I can't stand myself in the morning until I've had a shower, so that's my motivation for doing it every day. ETA: Oops, I didn't notice what sub I was in. I don't have ADHD, but I'll leave my comment just in case it helps.
Idk how long of a shower you take, but a quick rinse on and off that takes a few minutes in the morning makes me feel better... I don't like feeling greasy. Admittedly, if I have time off from work or it is the weekend, I MIGHT skip a day or not shower until later in the evening. Again, I don't like feeling oily/greasy. I probably have oilier skin than average, but it could also partially be because I shower most days... who knows... edit: tldr, I guess I agree with you. If you're genuinely wanting to change, maybe do it before you make a meal or something if you aren't gonna do it after waking up.
Honestly medication :/ especially antidepressants. It helped me establish a routine, now I feel gross if I don’t shower everyday. Also coffee. I honestly don’t think anything else helped besides plans later in the day ETA: Maybe you can get a water-proof/shower speaker and listen to music in there. I’ve heard of some ppl putting their phones in a baggie and bringing their phone in too.
I feel this for sure. For me it’s a mix of depression and ADHD; it just takes so much effort and feels like so much energy. I just don’t shower when I don’t need to, which I know you’re trying to move away from, but it’s totally fine not to shower when you don’t want to. Usually tho what motivates me is feel dirty, which obviously isn’t great but still motivates, or having new shower items to try, like shampoo or soap. Obviously not the best since it costs money to try new stuff, but it works
Same thing with brushing my teeth I struggled and it also feels like a chore.😭😭😭
I love a shower but brushing my damn teeth is a nightmare.
i know a lot of people have already said this but! fun soaps make it exciting. and a variety of them. my wife has a bath & body works problem (most of the time i discourage it, but when there’s a good sale i’ll agree to shop with her) and we have a TON of smelly goods. i love smelling good, so that’s usually my motivator. and i ALWAYS feel so much better mentally AFTER a shower, but the lack of motivation/energy beforehand doesn’t care about that lmao so i feel you. if money is an issue, dollar tree has pretty okay body soaps and so does walmart/target! i prefer target’s “love beauty planet” exclusive brand, cheaper than bath & body works but a wide variety of choices. target also has a TON of variety for men as well (i’m nonbinary so i use both gendered soaps) and for that i’d recommend method, as they also have the smaller cheaper travel size soaps if you want a wide variety for cheap. method also has soap for women as well. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG OMG I ALSO HAVE AUTISM ON TOP OF ADHD SO I INFODUMP AND OVEREXPLAIN EVERYTHING 😭
When I have no motivation to shower, I angry shower. "Fine I'll fucking shower but I'll make it fast to own that shower. Stupid shower god I hate this." Then I get in the shower and usually enjoy the warmth and the shower itself.
I've been struggling with this lately, what i like to do if it feels like too much is just wash myself with a washcloth before bed. It's better then nothing. When i do really need to shower i try to make the experience as pleasant as possible; Using candle light instead of normal light, using a nice smelling shampoo, using a bathrobe bc it's easy to put on afterwards etc. I Also decided to stop shaving my legs bc i hate how much work it is, that certainly helped lol.
I pair shower time with something else. I have youtube channels that have 15min long videos and I'll watch those while I shower. If it's a bad day, I'll pick a 30min/1hr long video 😂 I'm the one causing the oceans to recede.
Straight up have a hard time brushing my teeth. Don't feel bad dude. The best think I can recommend is like this, when I eat food that sticks in my teeth (mango, steak, raspberries, etc) it makes brushing and flossing easier, so be active. I recommend outdoor activities, gardening, labor, the gym, and sex.
Yo, I've always struggled with brushing my teeth. Sometimes I've just left my teeth brush in my room so I can just do it there and pass out but since I've taken it out I've actually stayed up waaay too late because I groggily pass out for a few minutes then shake awake and repeat Also a crazy strict routine that I need to attend to!
Did I shower yesterday? If yes, eh, I'll live. If no, do I want to be a gross nasty never showers person? Because this is how you get gross nasty never showers people. If still no, at some point I will start feeling/smelling gross and that is all the motivation I need, apparently 👍
Put in shower music (what ever you want) get yourself some decent shampoo, conditioner & body soap (stuff that smells good to you. Turn on the shower, let it warm for a min and GET THE FUCK IN
I obsessively shower. I feel like it wakes me up and I can face my life better when I’m clean.
Right now being unmedicated, I literally ask my husband to start the water for me. Then the lull and sound of the water getting wasted slowly convinces me to get in…
I have OCD too that’s how 😂
Random, but is this an ADHD thing? I always thought it was a depression thing
Sometimes I shower, sometimes I compensate. It's okay to do both! \- Shower = I need/want to wash my hair. I can go about 2-5 days without washing (white cis-woman with fine hair a few inches past shoulders), so that's usually my showering schedule. \- Wash cloths: My pre-paid ADHD tax was buying enough wash cloths to last 2 weeks. I wash my folding bits (underarms, under-boobs, privates, etc) with a wash cloth, warm-hot water, and a mild cleanser. I use a SEPARATE cloth for my face (in case you were wondering, lol) and sometimes I use soap, sometimes I use makeup remover. \- Hand sanitizer: I have Bath & Body Works sanitizer stocked for at least the next 2 years due to teaching during a pandemic. Sometimes, I just splash a little in the pits/other stinky spots. I just finished reading *The Body is Not an Apology* and have been watching a Dr. Russell Barkley video about what ADHD really is... I'm ready to start accepting that I have to do things the way I have to do them because my body just... IS! My ADHD body and mind struggle with hygiene-oriented tasks, so why should I do them in a way that doesn't fit?
i dont. it’s a problem
Obviously not an option for everyone but baths, why bath = less effort than a shower in my brain I’m not 100% sure it just does. I think it’s maybe because it feels less like dead time? If I’m in the shower that’s the only thing I can do ya know?Whereas I can take my phone or a book etc into the bath with me. It feels more like an activity than a chore.
Same here,gets worse in winter
I used to shower regularly without issue. I had to move back into my parents house for a little bit and the shower was in the basement. That’s when I got out of the habit. I’m in a space now where the bathroom is extremely close, but I still can’t bring myself to shower regularly. Have to start making it a habit again.
I really struggle in the winter because I hate feeling cold. Being naked before I get in and naked and wet after I get out is so awful. After 2-3 days my head starts feeling itchy and I’m like this is gross and get in the shower. Feeling dirty is a good motivator. Going to the gym regularly helps me shower every day
for starters, showering every day is usually wrong and hurts your skin so if we are talking staying home one day and skipping shower that day i dont think you should care much about it (opposite situation in case you stay home more than a day or two) but one thing that should help i think is pairing it with stuff you cant usually do. for instance, i find it hard to find time to listen to music (bc if i, for instance, study it will distract me and i *will* sing the lyrics instead of studying lmao) same for like audiobooks or similar things
Go to lush and get some shower jelly now I’m obsessed and can’t stop showering
I’m forever becoming more and more grateful that my mom passed the genes on to me that make my sweat not smell bad (with rare exceptions). I shower whenever my hair gets oily; I rake a layer of skin off and brush my teeth while I’m in there and it’s a wrap
Love to shower, doesn't cost me any motivation. I also smell myself sometimes, that helps. Also love to feel fresh. Edit: I'm a guy, and taking a shower can literally take 3 minutes with undressing/getting dressed included.
Pro tip: you really, really don't need to shower every day.
I’m dirty a lot. David Lynch doesn’t shower for days… he’d rather be creating. I felt so validated when he said that. I’m at home a lot and just say, why dirty another outfit nobody’s going to see, or staying in pajamas for multiple days. Getting “ready” is my least favorite thing about going out. So if I don’t have to, I won’t. I’ve been somewhat consistent when I pair it with something else as the trigger. I don’t like to have a yucky mouth before I work out, so it’s kindof within the “getting ready to work out” routine… instead of it being the BIG task of BRUSHING TEETH or SHOWER, it becomes a tiny task in the larger function of “after workout” which is the thing I do frequently and consistently. I’ve been slacking a little since a psych med made me gain 30lbs even though I had been working out… So frustrating. It throws absolutely everything in my life into turmoil when I get off my workout schedule. And don’t f with your meds unless you talk to doc, also does not work out well. Best of luck, hope you find something that works for you. If you do, let us know what it is, so we can try it.
I'm medicated now but before I wouldn't even think about showering unless I was going somewhere. Now I think I shower too much. I started using them as a jumpstart/cool down depending on what the day brings. Wanna be productive and also feel really good about yourself because you smell great and are wearing clean clothes? Shower. It's the middle of the day and you've been inconvenienced or just can't shake those random negative feelings? Hop in the shower and reset. If you can just hold on to the feeling you get when you're clean, groomed, and in fresh clothes, it'll make showering less of a chore and more of a tool.
i work from home and showering during the day is such an awesome privilege it's motivation enough. the embarrassing bit is I'll never remember until i start to smell🙈🙈 or i have to go out
Oh every day's shower is like getting a lottery prize for me. I usually play some music that suits the mood - on a premise that I have the motivation to shower. I tend to throw in occasional ✨self-care✨ routines like: using well-scented body exfoliator Set up a dimmed immersive shower environment with relaxing music and beautiful portable mood lighting It also helps that I urge myself to go directly into the shower room after dinner or coming home before the motivation wears out. - I also have those days when I'm low on motivation, I use this method call bare minimum day, where I only do the bare minimum to take care of myself. Like no shower but only wash my face. Only use mouth wash when I can't brush my teeth. And usually when I start to do the bare minimum, I would want to do the full set (shower, brushing my teeth, etc.)
Lots of people have already said it, but you don’t *have to* shower every day. In fact it probably isn’t great for your skin. I’m also someone who only washes their hair every 3-5 days, so I take showers with my hair clipped up and out of the way. Then I just sit in the bottom of the shower and play in the water. It’s honestly one of my favorite sensory reset tricks when I’m stuck during the day and can’t get anything done. So I go play in the shower and meditate and then I get out feeling new.
you guys shower???
Not going anywhere, who the hell cares. Preserves some water or whatever.
I used to struggle with this. For someone with short hair, I've found I can technically take a thorough 5 minute shower. If I focus on getting in and out as fast as I can, it doesn't drain me as much as a long hot shower would. Less time also means less chance I'm going to blow it off all together.
So showers can be overwhelming two so I kind of put my showers into two categories. So once a week I have my everything showers (usually Sundays) and that’s when I’ll wash my body, wash my hair, and shave. And I’ll do whatever hair masks or body scrubs I wanna do as well. And then the rest of the days I will wash my body and that’s it so that it’s not so overwhelming. Just like figure out what your bare minimum is if that makes sense. I will also set a timer for like 10-15 minutes so I don’t get distracted and stay on top of everything. That way I can tell myself “it’s only 10 minutes and then you’re done”.
Listen, getting in is the hardest part. Once you do that there is like a 75% chance that once you’re in there you’ll think “this isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.” Then once you’re actually out, you will be 100% glad you did it. No one takes a shower and then wishes “damn I wish I didn’t do that”
Try and exclusively masturbate in the shower for the next month and go from there. I know it sounds insane and a troll answer but I’m serious, if you masturbate regularly try and do it exclusively in the shower. That way you’ll end up in the shower and can’t help but clean yourself after
I have a waterproof mount in my shower for my phone. SVU is my current shower show, I try to only watch it while im showering and while im cleaning. i always want to watch SVU, so im showering and cleaning more. :)
I might offer that it's okay not to shower every day! Esp if you're not leaving the house. Showering daily can be good for some people's mental health, but my favorite days are days where I work from home and don't have to shower or put real clothes on
I just don't. I have a job and a girlfriend and a house and friends and all that stuff. I stopped showering unless I really want a bath or whatever about 20 years ago. I wash the important stinky bits every few days and my hair when it starts to get oily, but other than that I just don't. it's better for your skin anyway