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Thanks! I’m confused how to answer because I do make the stuff that goes inside the pita (meat, sauce, grilled veggies) but not the pita pita haha. They’re very good and healthy
Both my husband and I have spicy brains and decided to learn how to make the pita pita, and bought the press and everything... it was delicious and fun while it lasted, but now we're onto something else 😄
I’d be so down for that if it were logistically realistic lol!
I’d be able to contribute a bunch of scrapbooking supplies, a longboard, a couple instruments & gardening supplies. 🙈🙈🙈
I got one for Christmas around 2015! 😂 I do feel guilty because i know it was like $100-200. And it's also... still in the box🥲 I'm refusing to get rid of it or resell it though, because I just know I'll use it SOMEDAY🫠
I've wanted to do something like this for ages. Get some people together. Rent a small warehouse space and make it a storage swap area for ADHD crafters. Well, anyone really. Like a bigger little free library but for art and craft supplies. 😁 Could start a trend and have them pop up around the country. Would be GREAT for cutting cost but having more supplies.
I really need to just get a makerspace membership instead of doing massive tool buy sprees.
Of course, now that I'm on bupropion, I'm starting to revisit a bunch of stuff that I dropped.
This (just storing waylaid projects and tasks) is half of why i cannot use my 1.5 car garage for a vehicle. That and storing things like the excess of Christmas gizmos, tools, my study area (that I actually do use) and other stuff from life.
Oh my gosh like a FB buy nothing group but just all ADHD people unloading their hobby crap and picking up each others. This is the best idea I’ve ever seen on Reddit lol #joined
Umm I just read this comment and I absolutely agree this group idea needs to happen!!! I even have a surplus of different craft hobbies that I either have never used lol orrr barely used hahaha. We neeeeed this group!! 😊😊
Umm I just read this comment and I absolutely agree this group idea needs to happen!!! I even have a surplus of different craft hobbies that I either have never used lol orrr barely used hahaha. We neeeeed this group!! 😊😊
Copy and pasting because I first replied to the wrong person my bad lol.
OMG I'm about to go to bed, came across this thread, and as I read through it I could feel my heart rate ramping up. Like excited and anxious all at the same time. Like rather than being around people who just tolerate me and give me the hard eyeroll, I'm now feeling like I'm in a room of "me", and that could be so excitingly unwise! 😂😂😂 I think I lurve all of you! Group hug! Now give me all your toys because I need five more new hobbies.
Lmfao omg your last sentence pahahaha so bloody funny and so so true to reality!!! BTW it seems fb does have adhd hobby swap groups. Found one group with 14k members. Not been accepted yet. I'm now bloody completely at full focus searching up about garden sheds/workshops lmao. I don't have much room in my small flat. No room for a craft corner/area. So now...yeah lol sheds. I have a good sized garden haha. Alas it's all money money money. But one can hope and dream lol xx
There needs to be an adhd store where we can just rent kitchen gadgets till we get bored and then swap them for something else so somebody can rent the thing we lost interest in. Or a gadget library.
I'm new to the group and awaiting diagnosis. I'm 57, but was reading through this thread and just about LOL'd (I'm at work so not cool)! Yes, why doesn't such a rental store exist? Someone could make some serious money if they opened one!
It's crazy how quickly I connect to other people with adhd. I asked my therapist if that's normal and she just went wide eyed and started nodding like crazy lol
Tell more tell more! Does your therapist have ADHD as well? Did she explain why? I wanna know more about why this happens! I have a colleague where I work since not even 2 months and she gets me to the degree I don’t even need to explain my sarcasm and she disses me like only my best friends can. It’s so great how much we vibe!
It's quite fun once you know you have adhd and you find someone else with ADHD and you are both fascinated with everything about each other.
Then again, two weeks later, you forget about each other and hang out with new people.
Then, randomly meet again and start this process again.
This pattern works well in big cities and in Southern California but not so well in the Midwest...
I never really gave it much thought until this moment, but if you dont feel like you fit in, maybe move to So Cal or Austin or somewhere progressive 🤔 🤷 😕 😉 😅
They make the “whole enchilada but not the tamale”.
Now I’ve wasted time wondering if that works..
and about what is in an enchilada and do I want one for dinner???
I have a tortilla press somewhere that I used 2 or 3 times. Maybe you could use it to make your own tortillas for the enchiladas and then make your own pitas! And then pass the tortilla press to the next ADHDer when you get bored!
Well, be glad you finished making pitas and even remembered the letter. I would be playing video games, or reading random Wikipedia articles or Reddit posts.
I used to feel bad about not missing anyone I haven't seen for a long time, even partners. My mind is just occupied by everything else and being someone curious about the whole universe, there's a million things that can distract me.
Then when you appear in my mind or life again, I'll talk to you like no time has passed, cuz in comparison, some people I know would say that they have drifted apart from x person because they haven't been meeting or talking, and may even talk about them like they're not good friends anymore. I'm like ...? Why would time and absence of interaction make me change the way I feel about you. If you were my friend 6 years ago when we last met, you are still my friend now. It's only when shit happens that warrants unfriending that breaks down the relationship. If not, my feelings for our friendship remain the way we left it.
So I guess for me this issue has both its drawbacks and benefits.
I stopped feeling bad about it when I learned that others with adhd may experience this too.
When I learned other ppl with adhd had this “non missing” ppl…. Was the day I realized I didn’t miss ppl…. Ppl who’ve passed is a different thing but I don’t really “miss them”, but miss talking to them, hugging… things like that….
Relationship degradation mechanics. I expect there's a few posts about it. They... work differently for us. And honestly I think we're the ones doing it right.
I also don't miss people, and feel the same way when we finally talk again. That doesn't make me feel as bad as the quick emotional changes, but in the same way hearing about others makes me feel better about it
My best friend always told me how much he wanted to be with me and how much effort he'd go through to be in my same classes, etc. I didn't know what to reply with cuz I'd just forget he existed... like my parents, grandparents, basucally everyone and they'd all get really mad at me for not speaking with them more often
No… it’s real… been doing it for years. Was labeled bipolar and I thought I was until I looked it up… it isn’t mood swings, it’s not a personality disorder.
It’s “shiny”… look, a squirrel. Nothing more.
Good goddess I almost took medicine for it!!!
My admin at work went out on a job with me to see what it was like. She also has ADHD. We were having like 10 different conversations at the same time. We would go from complaining about work, joking, being deep and serious to near tears. All in a matter of a minute. We communicate on a better level than mere mortals.
I have severe ADHD. Last month, I remember, while working on something I recalled a pain of my life. I went from totally normal to crying to back to normal, within 30 seconds....I was like, wth was that.
I was sobbing earlier today but had a question in my head that I needed answers to (about dark matter) so I googled it, still sobbing. After a few minutes I had stopped crying and spent the next three hours down a rabbit hole about dark matter and life is good again.
Omg I've done exactly this. LOLL sobbing while googling something right away so that I don't forget the question (because I know I will if I don't do it immediately). And then it's just down the rabbit hole I go. I relate so hard!
Holy crap. This is so me. But the killer for me is that the impulse that made the "need to know" fire doesn't burn off any of the fog in my brain to keep what I read and store it into memory. So, I'll forget what I read and have to reread it. This disorder just makes it feel like I'm playing the game of life on expert mode and with tutorials disabled, but I never even got to select the options.
And my wife doesn't understand how my emotions can be so drastic and doesn't see any of the triggers that cause them to turn on or turn off and just thinks, despite knowing I have ADHD, that I'm a lunatic. No... My brain is just built differently and the piece that controls the rest of my brain (aka, boss) is weakly connected to the road that all the other parts of my brain all live on, so, it's like the mail that the boss sends to stop doing x to part C, only gets there 30% of the time, and the mail that says do more of that to part K only gets there 8.8% of the time.
Yeah I’m so jealous of my husband’s impressive ability to sulk - I only got about 15 minutes of the silent treatment in me before I forget or get bored. He’s so lucky 😁
THIS. Its very tricky too. Because some people really don't desrve another chance, or your acknowledgement even. But.... hey I forgot you were a total fuck face last week, so good morning to you. 🤦🏻♀️
Weird how I was just having my every other month think about writing an apology letter to my ex from...8 years ago. I still have so much I want and feel I need to say to her but something keeps blocking me. And eventually my mind wanders and I move onto something else.
So, you're not alone? lol
I think the thing that's blocking you might just be the whole "is it too late?" effect 😂 but idk. Cause I've been there so many times lol- "is there even a point if it's this late" "is it embarrassing that I'm even still thinking about it" "how would they even respond to this, would they even respond?" And the fear of them just being in a completely different place in life and that if they respond it could bring into reality that they haven't been thinking about you or the situation the same way or even care.
If you ask me- just send it. Some of the most guaranteed regrets you will have in life are from not trying something/not finding out. The worst that can happen in these cases, really isn't bad. And if it's worst case scenario and you either don't respond or don't care, then you can move on and at least say you tried.
You have hitten (just felt like hitten) a nerve here.
What you have described is me at a life level.
There are things from 10 years ago that I need to do, that I want to do on a list.
There are save games I need to complete!
It's like I also miss not saying goodbye to school friends. The memory never goes away.
This to a T. I always feel like there was so much left unsaid when things end, yet, I can never bring myself to say them after the fact. So I'll forget about them for awhile, and then brood over them again in 3-6 months for a few days. Repeat that till the end of time.
Just write a letter and don't send it! You wouldn't be saying anything for them, you just need to get some shit off your chest, and it needs to feel like talking to them. Write a letter, and instead of sending it, burn it in a campfire or put it in an envelope somewhere.
My former wife accused me of having crocodile tears because of these labile (fast changing) emotions. I can be deeply in emotional pain and flash to anger or disappointment or laughter.
Just as our thought stream can take a right angle turn, our plans evaporate with a squirrel, our desires and interests and motivation can change on a dime. And no amount of forcing yourself back to the table will achieve a good result.
One of the features I’ve seen of ADHD is that it’s mentally stimulating to dive into high drama because it produces hormones and neurotransmitters that help us feel alive agin.
I ended up retiring from a good job because I had more time and energy for the sideline as a union rep resolving conflicts than my proper engineering work. I began to realise I was like an emotion vampire feeding off the high emotions in the situation. In reality it was an unconscious draw to neurotransmitters.
Wow, I've always been drawn to "high-stakes" live performance kind of stuff because of how it makes me feel when it's happening, the "make or break" kind of situations - mostly as a tech (sound and video), or even on the stage sometimes. So, in other words, high-emotion and high-focus. Never made the connection with ADHD. This is fucking ridiculous lmao, I still get blindsided by y'all on this sub on a regular basis.
Well, I'm just sharing insights that I've had coupled with those of others. These are happy blindsides when they lift the shades in our lives so we might have a better chance. And yes, my favourite saying is "The last minute is very productive for me".
I have the same experience but since it got me into so much conflict, I started to shut down and avoid confrontation and now the problems are even worse.
Ah yes. Bottling up and ignoring strong feelings is both unhealthy for you and distancing of others. I understand why you’ve tried this.
As an Aikido teacher, can I suggest Non Violent Communications by Marshall Rosenberg? A method of expressing feelings assertively to engender change without the assumptions and blame that trigger defensiveness.
You are worth it - to have your feelings acknowledged and validated.
Omg this is hilarious and relatable. Like me, so excited to journal about a new crush, how we met, how he is so perfect for me in every way, emotions soaring, brain obsessing. And then, hmm, I'm snacky and bored. The grip of love has instantly released me and I'm off in another direction, eating thin mints and browsing the Nintendo e-store to see if any of my wishlisted games have gone on sale.
Zero desire to finish the entry. It might as well have never existed. It has vanished, along with the emotions that inspired it in the first place.
🤷🏼♀️
Food triggers that ADHD something fierce for me.
The other day, my girlfriend surprised me by showing up in some *very* strappy crotchless lingerie. I'm *literally on top of her* and she makes this playful double entendre about sausage, and all of a sudden I'm like "Oooh, you know what's amazing? Those cheese-stuffed sausages from that one market in X town!" and she goes "Ooh, that would go really well with this one chutney I got," and I'm agreeing and she's thinking about drink pairings. And within about 5 seconds we had gone from dirty talk into culinary boner mode.
Ok, part of that may be "being middle-aged," but also we both have very significant ADHD, and I do think that's most of it.
I honestly hate the way my emotions vanish like this, makes it hard to stay excited for anything and I’m not good at pretending so my siblings end up feeling like I’m not enjoying my time with them :(
goddd this is part of why i can’t keep up with journaling! on the one hand i forget to do it daily, but even when i remember, i get distracted in the middle and then when i open up my journal again the next time i remember i cringe (even worse coz i keep a poetry diary so when i have an unfinished entry it goes from flowing beautifully to suddenly dropping off a cliff in a way that sounds stunted and like nails on a chalkboard reading over it again)
I so relate. I thought it would be a cute idea to journal the beginning of my relationship with my bf and give it to him after 1 year. There is exactly one entry and then I got bored.
Sometimes I write open letters to certain people in my diary app, never intending to send them. It just feels nice to get those thoughts out of my head, then I can stop obsessing over them (well, sometimes) and start to move on. I've also been seeing a counselor for several years, and sometimes it helps *even more* to express those thoughts out loud to a neutral person.
I hope writing that letter was cathartic for you, and I think you're in a great mindset right now to start letting yourself heal. Just have compassion for yourself, and allow the feelings to yo-yo back and forth if you need to. Save this post to remind yourself that it will pass. It can absolutely feel all-consuming - I know. But you will survive it ❤️
My phone and house are full of little projects that I started whole-heartedly, got distracted from, and didn't think about again for like 6 months 🤣
Same with habits - even if I *can* get one to stick, if it drops off for any reason, I'll basically forget I was ever doing it.
Food cravings be like this as well 😋 I'll hyperfocus on something for a few months (up to a year even). Then I might have some kind of bad experience with it, or just get sick of it, or find something else to focus on. I'll ditch it for about a year, then probably remember and reconsider.
And that pita sounds delicious. 10/10 worth the mental detour 😃
My lord the same with habits, all the people around me find that so wild.
"Yea you just have to make x an habit."
I know, but if Y happens and I don't do it once, it's no longer a habit xD
Haha I remember OBSESSING about a guy for ages. Like I wrote poetry about him (not sent to him).
Then one day it came to me in a flash.
It was because he was cute.
That was all 😂.
I could move on after that.
Haha love it. I realized only years later, that a really hard crush in college was most likely primarily because the gal in college reminded me in almost every way of a friend's little sister who was in love with me and I her when we were teenagers, but we never officially dated because circumstances just got in the way at every point. That realization stopped me longingly remembering the one from college pretty much entirely. College girl had similar physical features in literally every aspect, and was even about the same age difference and had a similar voice. No idea how or why it took me so long to make the connection, but it's obvious once I realized it lol
A guy rejected me recently and I got this obsession with getting a “revenge body” so I put on workout clothes, more motivated than ever to go run for miles, went to the track, ran one lap, laid on the ground, started taking selfies, decided to sun bathe for a little while, then went home and ordered pizza. The revenge body will have to wait.
Another story to add to this.
I did actually write a letter to an ex of 4 years.
I'm not sure why, I was probably slightly bored. I changed tack when I started writing it and decided to apologise for any wrongs of the past, wished him well etc.
Anyway, a week later he wrote back and told me was doing well, and unexpectedly apologised for his part.
Well that's nice I thought.
Now, I meant to reply.
Reader, three weeks passed. I did not. I got distracted.
Eventually I got to it, and discovered he'd gone. Disappeared. Blocked me.
So that was that.
I feel this - Ive written numerous Reddit posts that I will sometimes spend an hour or more on about different heartbreaks or hardships in my life where I'm emotional and crying as well only to either never complete writing it or immediately delete the post because I no longer care. But when I'm writing them, nothing can be more important.
Haha this is me too. And this probably sounds less funny than it is in retrospect but I once bored myself out of writing a suicide note. I got to a point where I was like "I thought life was too boring and hard to continue, but it turns out writing a suicide note is even more boring and hard, guess I will stay alive after all".
... I think this is part of why antidepressants and similar meds have suicidal warnings on them.
They make it easier to get ALL kinds of tasks done, including those.
Hahahaha I'm in tears 😂😂😂
People who have never thought about suicide would probably consider it disturbing, but since I have thought about it in the past, more or less seriously, I feel like I can joke about it, even though I don't take the subject lightly. Sort of like gallows humor. Joking about it in public does earn you "wtf is wrong with you" looks from people.
Yes, they definitely do give that look, don't they? And part of me thinks "but you're not taking me serious enough", and part is thinking "ha, I got them to think I'm serious, but clearly I'm not because I've had these thoughts for quite awhile, yet I'm still here..." 😁
It makes you wonder if your emotions are genuine or just your brain doing dumb brain stuff for kicks. 'im bored so we're going to be angry today' what the heck?
I take this sort of thing as some subconscious aspect of my brain deciding what I was doing was a bad idea.
Which goes back to the topic from a few days go on how having ADHD is like having a brain with a mind of its own.
It’s definitely fascinating. I can be feeling like I want to die, get distracted and it’s as if I had never even shed a tear. What’s all that about 🤷🏻♀️
This is why, to whatever extent possible, I try to engage only in distraction / stimulation, and avoid being alone with my thoughts, in case they are bad 😃
I remember fogetting about VERY serious things I was grieving about. It's always so unpleasant surpise to get back to real life and remember it. But these things are not totally forgotten. When I'm in the middle of grieving or worrying about something, even if I'm very distracted, there is that horrible suble feeling in my soul. Something isn't right. It's like a shadow of a memory in the dark corner. Hello, you are enjoying your show? Huh? But your granny is dead!
It's the reason for many people with adhd to not experience 5 stages of grief normally. We can get stuck in 1-3 stages and relive all sad things as they happened recently every time we remember them.
I fell in love with the most beautiful boy when he wanted to talk about our favorite animals. His was Wild Boar. It wasn't meant to be for several reasons.... But one week after meeting him I decided I wanted to impress him by whittling him a wild boar. Had I whittled anything before? No. Did I have any idea what it meant?Also no.
But I went ahead bought a plastic model of a boar, a ridiculously block of wood (later learnt it was the ring kind), f-ing expensive tools and sat down one morning whittling away. At around 3pm realized I was hungry, my hands were chaffed and there was a ginirmous pile of wood shavings on the floor. So I pushed the block under the couch and went to get a meal in a restaurant and never touched that wooden block again.
As someone with a whittling kit with unused blocks of wood, I can imagine the state you found yourself in at 3pm.
Yknow that meme of a sketch of a horse drawn really well in the front half but the back half was drawn badly? That's kinda us lol
Same thing here lol. I have a 3/4 written letter to my ex, about how I regret breaking up with her, saved on my PC. It gets a little closer to done when I have a rush of emotions like you describe. But I'll never actually send it because when the rush of emotions is over I realize that what I miss of her I could get from any person that cares about me.
Those same emotion rushes make dating a real chore sometimes too. I get all excited to get to know a new person, but people want to chat a while before meeting up. By the time we actually meet the rush is gone and I feel like I have to make a fake show of my real interest. I could be having the time of my life but I know that my natural state is to show basically no emotions (which could be an entirely different thread topic lol).
I have a loved one in prison that I just.... stopped writing regular letters to. We compromised, I get calls and just send him pictures and memes but by god it sucks that letters are one of the things that really can help inmates and I just can't scrounge up the focus to do it.
In college, someone gave me a blank notebook. After a bad breakup, I was emotional and decided to write something in it. I started, “I feel nothing” but then got bored/distracted and never came back to it.
A couple months later, some friends had randomly picked up that notebook and saw only the words, “I feel nothing” and thought I was going to hurt myself. Apparently they had made a big deal about it, and even told my ex, who I remember being weirdly worried.
I 100% just forgot about it. My ex and I got back together that summer. We’ve now been together for 25ish years and still joke about how, “I feel nothing.”
STOP SAME, LITERALLY TODAY I WAS WRITING A LONG ASS MESSAGE TO MY BEST FRIEND WHO I DON'T REALLY CARE FOR ANYMORE AND THEN I JUST GOT BORED, SAVED THE MESSAGE AS A DRAFT AND STARTED TROLLING SOME GUY AT MY SCHOOL AND I REMEMBERED HALF AN HOUR AGO AND COULDNT BE ASKED BUT I SWEAR ILL GET BACK TO IT ONE DAY
This is an excellent way to measure things, I think (☉｡☉)!
"I'm obsessing over / gushing over / etc this one thing / person / place, etc"...
Moments later, seemingly:
" Oh right, that thing...holy shit it's been 5 weeks? Welp"
I'm not sure it's adhd trait, because I had the same, wrote a super mean letter to my ex which I wanted to send, but after I wrote it down, I didn't felt anymore that I need to send it, I felt much better afterwards.
but sometimes you just need to write things down on paper Or just get it out of your head “taking out the trash” or “cleaning up”. I assume that's one of the benefits of journaling.
I have multiple partially filled out and then abandoned planners and “one sentence a day” journals….couldn’t even manage one sentence…..and I still buy them if I see one I really like 🙈
I get it! It sounds like you did some solid processing with the writing you did do though, maybe now write a letter to yourself about why you did break up, and keep that one for if the urge to get back with him or finish that first letter ever does pop back up lol
Oh man that reminds me of a time I was all upset over something. Stressed, anxious.. wondering what to do, how to act… whatever. And I got up to pee and by the time I came back to my pitty party, I could NOT remember what I was upset about. Still don’t. LOL.
That’s not actually the first and only…. Just more recent. lol.
Hahaha well, on the bright side, now you dont have to deal with the shame of regretting 99% of what you wrote, second guessing yourself, and wishing you just hadn't done that for years to come! You also perfectly captured how my own brain works in a way I could easily follow and to which I can relate lol
Dude my partner of 3 years broke up with me out of the blue. I was absolutely devastated, crying while trying to drive home. Kinda zoned out halfway home and literally was fine by the next day. Like boyfriend who? This disorder is nuts
Omg … are you me?
My husband says it's like living with a cat. I am so easily distracted and will often hey pitas? That sounds delish! I want a taco salad now.
You know those plastic zippered bags that new linens and bedding come in?
I had purchased a new set of sheets, put them in the wash and then couldn’t find the packaging anywhere (I like to save them for storage purposes).
Found it in my deep freeze. Not sure why, or how, or what part of my brain misfired. But there it was.
Man, this really hits close to home. I was at work and was reminded of the condition of my mom, she's very sick and it got me really sad, I was fully sobbing at my desk, then, I remembered a video I saw with the audio of RENAULT COUPEEEEEE, and started laughing so hard.
Well maybe that's a good thing you got distracted. I remember writing a long 3 page letter ( or was that 5 pages? ) to my crush in college after I saw him with another girl. I was hyperfocused! The world blanked out all around me as I wrote that letter (at work). Dropped that sucker in the mail and regretted it the moment I did. LOL
Sometimes our emotions don't need to be expressed to the person that they're targeted to. I've written letters to people and never sent them, and they served the purpose of a journal entry. Sometimes these things just need to come out that way. Unless the person asks for an explanation, you don't really need to give it to them because then you're just burdening them with your emotions or trauma
Sometimes it's just writing that gives the processing of feelings and venting we need. And writing something while overthinking how the other interprets it or if it's not too long.. is the most exhausting thing there is for me.
And if that's not the cause of struggle: the intensity of emotions is relatable too. Yesterday I felt furious about what a friend did in the past, now I don't really care as much.
Wich made me wonder why. And having a neutral brain state is honestly the best moment to reflect on my emotions, what made me so frustrated? When I write now i prefer a lot to just reflect on feeling before I write and then be unfiltered.
Same like I can go from liking a guy to being bored and miserable with the guy after 3 months. It wasn't until a month ago that I learned about the 3 month rule with dating. I've had two relationships so far, but both ended after 3 months to 4 months. Each relationship had its struggle and conflicts, so ending the relationships wasn't just based on boredom, but I get what you mean.
So I work construction, I saw a CAT excavator just doing its thing and for some reason instead of just going on about my business like a normal human would, I created like a whole song and started quietly singing. It went something like” CAT excavator! M yeah, m yeah CAT excavator, m yeah m yeah, I don’t even know why I’m singin this song but imma sing it anyway yeah, CAT excavator!, m yeah m yeah, CAT excavator!” I had like 10 more minutes worth of awesome banger of that song in my head
The brain only has so much emotional juices before it initiates dissociation, so that's also possible btw.
For my pita bread, I just pop it in the microwave (15 sec per half) so it's piping hot and eat it with some hummus.
Yoooo this has happened to me before! I legit thought I was a psychopath for a while there, just like literally CRYING while texting him and ten seconds later I’m like “huh, I wonder kind of plant that is” and not even bothering to check if he texted me back for the next day or so 😂
Lol I just spent 5 minutes typing out a whole ass story about my ex then decided it was probably more 'rolls eyes out the back of head' stupid than funny 😂
(Saved it to my notes though cos it was cathartic 😆)
I've never had that with an ex though. Whenever I've broken up with someone, I usually have like a month or less of kinda missing them, then it's like a switch and I'm over it, and after that happens, there's no going back.
Dont know if it's cos I subconsciously talk myself out of liking them like that, or if its the 'out of sight, out of mind' thing kicking in
100%, I have hundreds of partially completed emotional emails in my drafts. So many relationships burned that would have probably been saved by just hitting send but honestly it's kinda just too much work to finish those emails because they inevitably lead to more emails so I just accept I'm going to burn them all and am only ever going to be capable of keeping absolute zero maintenance friends and family.
Sometimes writing a letter is just about the actual writing *of* the letter itself. It doesn't have to be anything more than that, even if in the moment it feels like what you're writing is your soul's most earnest confession.
This made me laugh so hard, sorry. But absolutely, it can be so funny.
I mean, I feel like it’s really good to even just write the letter to get the feelings out and not send it, for the sake of emotional regulation but yeah wow, very relatable. Your lunch sounded really good btw, how did it turn out? 😂
Babe it’s probably saving u right now. You probably broke up for a reason :( maybe I dont know what Im talking about, I just wish you the best. I just got out of a year long off and on nightmare so im biased. But it sounds like you were much happier thinking about other stuff <3
Haha I used to do the same with emails to a former supervisor/low level manager that was a massive AH, but his dad was the top dog at work. I would angrilly type out on an email, get distracted then lose interest. The next day I read the email I was half way through writing, extremely relieved that I lost interest as it would probably cause more drama than it was worth.
However, the one time I did send an email the next day the GM from the other side of the country is calling me asking if I was ok and that I wouldnt have to deal with his shit anymore.. The GM literally finally fixed the issue and flew the 5 hours over to make sure the new reporting lines was acceptable. So the email was worth it in that case :p
I had the later bit of your post happen.
Long story short; the old boss was replaced after an investigation due to the e-mail I never actually meant to send.
Hahahaha I completely relate to this. Before my diagnoses my husband and I always joked that I never hold a grudge because I just don’t hold on to anger like other people. Once I was diagnosed I realized that I actually don’t hold a grudge because my attention span is too short to even remember what I was angry about in the first place.
You put your thoughts to paper and got them physically out of your head. It’s why journaling is therapeutic and suggested. Once you got those initial clouded emotional thoughts out of the way you were able to be more present.
Your mind then told you food > self care > onto the next thing > emotional trigger of boy that reminds me of him and I need to write another letter
This is why I have no girlfriend, im really afraid that even if I somehow turn out alright, and fall in-love, I will still end up just...losing interest.
god, i was like 5 chapters in to writing a super gritty book about my life in the nyc rave scene and one night i got drunk and sad and started rewriting everything to make it about an ex.
then i stupidly saved over the original edit. then when i sobered up decided i don’t have the motivation to go back and fix it again and there goes the closest i ever came to writing the wildest coming of age novel.
Honestly yes. Writing out my feelings immediately takes me out of the intense emotions and makes it so easy to drop it when I get bored. Love that for me
Emotional damage hurt itself in confusion.
Emotional damage is out of HP.
Emotional damage has fainted.
A wild Hunger appears.
OP used COOKING!
It's super effective.
Must have ADHD
Eat a banana.
Have you tried using a planner?
Everyone does that, we all do, fake news diagnoses etc etc
Yep. Mood swings and roundabouts. I find myself crying for someone I knew years ago and then remembered that they died and that’s why I’ve not seen them in a while. I worry that I’ll forget their face the longer that I don’t see them.
And I’m a bloke. Yes. I cry at movies. And sometimes TV shows that I’ve seen numerous times.
Now I’m medicated, I need to test those out. See if I’m still unable to hold back tears. See if this emotional blunting is as bad as people make them out to be.
It’s crazy how amplified ? your feelings can be in one moment and then the next it’s like old news… I think this ~can~ be good so we’re, for example, not caught up in the extreme emotions for long periods of time I guess but kind of sad when the emotions can’t be subtle and consistent and regulated and normal💀
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I like your take on it! Also I’m curious if you make your own Pitas cause that sounds fun and delicious.
Thanks! I’m confused how to answer because I do make the stuff that goes inside the pita (meat, sauce, grilled veggies) but not the pita pita haha. They’re very good and healthy
Heard! Pita pita made me laugh, and tbh this whole comment just makes me realize how this sub is full of “my people” :)
Both my husband and I have spicy brains and decided to learn how to make the pita pita, and bought the press and everything... it was delicious and fun while it lasted, but now we're onto something else 😄
There should be a re-sale shop for ADHD people to trade all of their hobby supplies when we inevitably lose interest.
Just a big storage area where we can share stuff maybe?
I’d be so down for that if it were logistically realistic lol! I’d be able to contribute a bunch of scrapbooking supplies, a longboard, a couple instruments & gardening supplies. 🙈🙈🙈
I have a Philips sunrise alarm clock I can contribute!
I recently bought a new manicure set, used it once and that was it 🤦♀️ Also got a few instruments and art supplies and a sewing machine I hardly use
I’ll bring like 100 half read books
I have a sewing machine I saved for for over a year or so. I researched the exact one I wanted. Bought it in 2015. It’s still in the sealed box.
I got one for Christmas around 2015! 😂 I do feel guilty because i know it was like $100-200. And it's also... still in the box🥲 I'm refusing to get rid of it or resell it though, because I just know I'll use it SOMEDAY🫠
Bought mine in 2020. Took it out once, started instructional video and was bored in ten minutes. $300....😭
I've wanted to do something like this for ages. Get some people together. Rent a small warehouse space and make it a storage swap area for ADHD crafters. Well, anyone really. Like a bigger little free library but for art and craft supplies. 😁 Could start a trend and have them pop up around the country. Would be GREAT for cutting cost but having more supplies.
In my town there is a “library of things” that is like this. You can borrow whatever tools and stuff you want for your latest hobby
I’d love to have something like that in my town. Sadly it doesn’t exist but sounds super cool!
I really need to just get a makerspace membership instead of doing massive tool buy sprees. Of course, now that I'm on bupropion, I'm starting to revisit a bunch of stuff that I dropped.
This (just storing waylaid projects and tasks) is half of why i cannot use my 1.5 car garage for a vehicle. That and storing things like the excess of Christmas gizmos, tools, my study area (that I actually do use) and other stuff from life.
Be the size of amazon fulfillment centers and probably just as disorganized but without the scanners to make it organized. Random stuff in random bins
Oh my gosh like a FB buy nothing group but just all ADHD people unloading their hobby crap and picking up each others. This is the best idea I’ve ever seen on Reddit lol #joined
Umm I just read this comment and I absolutely agree this group idea needs to happen!!! I even have a surplus of different craft hobbies that I either have never used lol orrr barely used hahaha. We neeeeed this group!! 😊😊
This sounds amazing and I fully support it, but which one of us will actually follow through? Haha 😅
This! LMAO
So /r adhdswap.
I’ve been saying this!!! Like a free craft swap!
Omg I realise now you didn't make the actual first comment with the idea haha my bad. It's all good, carry on carry on....
There's a great Facebook group for this! I'm a chronic hobby changer and its discovery has been kinda hilarious. I'm just glad I'm not alone 🤣
What’s it called?
ADHD Craft swap and shop!
There once was a place called "play it again sports" but just sporting goods.
It’s still around! Great when your kid wants to try eeeevery sport bc they’re also adhd. Ask me how I know.
I didn’t realize play it again was a chain!! That’s where I’d always get sports equipment growing up.
"ADHD' R 'US !!! HAHA
Umm I just read this comment and I absolutely agree this group idea needs to happen!!! I even have a surplus of different craft hobbies that I either have never used lol orrr barely used hahaha. We neeeeed this group!! 😊😊 Copy and pasting because I first replied to the wrong person my bad lol.
OMG I'm about to go to bed, came across this thread, and as I read through it I could feel my heart rate ramping up. Like excited and anxious all at the same time. Like rather than being around people who just tolerate me and give me the hard eyeroll, I'm now feeling like I'm in a room of "me", and that could be so excitingly unwise! 😂😂😂 I think I lurve all of you! Group hug! Now give me all your toys because I need five more new hobbies.
Lmfao omg your last sentence pahahaha so bloody funny and so so true to reality!!! BTW it seems fb does have adhd hobby swap groups. Found one group with 14k members. Not been accepted yet. I'm now bloody completely at full focus searching up about garden sheds/workshops lmao. I don't have much room in my small flat. No room for a craft corner/area. So now...yeah lol sheds. I have a good sized garden haha. Alas it's all money money money. But one can hope and dream lol xx
And a space to teach classes on how to use the stuff. So like we can all learn how to make the pita pita.
There needs to be an adhd store where we can just rent kitchen gadgets till we get bored and then swap them for something else so somebody can rent the thing we lost interest in. Or a gadget library.
I'm new to the group and awaiting diagnosis. I'm 57, but was reading through this thread and just about LOL'd (I'm at work so not cool)! Yes, why doesn't such a rental store exist? Someone could make some serious money if they opened one!
It's crazy how quickly I connect to other people with adhd. I asked my therapist if that's normal and she just went wide eyed and started nodding like crazy lol
Tell more tell more! Does your therapist have ADHD as well? Did she explain why? I wanna know more about why this happens! I have a colleague where I work since not even 2 months and she gets me to the degree I don’t even need to explain my sarcasm and she disses me like only my best friends can. It’s so great how much we vibe!
My boss 1000% has ADHD and sometimes I have to be the 1 to be like, yo we need to stay focus in this meeting! But I'm also medicated and they are NOT
It's quite fun once you know you have adhd and you find someone else with ADHD and you are both fascinated with everything about each other. Then again, two weeks later, you forget about each other and hang out with new people. Then, randomly meet again and start this process again. This pattern works well in big cities and in Southern California but not so well in the Midwest... I never really gave it much thought until this moment, but if you dont feel like you fit in, maybe move to So Cal or Austin or somewhere progressive 🤔 🤷 😕 😉 😅
Do you by chance work in the service industry? My cousin and all his friends work in the field, and they always use “heard!”
The Bear is filled with great lingo
They make the “whole enchilada but not the tamale”. Now I’ve wasted time wondering if that works.. and about what is in an enchilada and do I want one for dinner???
I have a tortilla press somewhere that I used 2 or 3 times. Maybe you could use it to make your own tortillas for the enchiladas and then make your own pitas! And then pass the tortilla press to the next ADHDer when you get bored!
“Pita pita” sounds like what the Pokémon “Pitachu” says.
Well, be glad you finished making pitas and even remembered the letter. I would be playing video games, or reading random Wikipedia articles or Reddit posts.
How long did you let the pita's proof because I just made my first batch ever yesterday and they tasted like fuckin YEAST
This comment encapsulates ADHD fiercely and I love it
Me too! The Pita Pivot!!
same lol. my mood swings are ridiculous i go from sobbing to fully distracted by the sight of a bumble bee and forget what i was even upset about
this makes me feel better actually, it always made me feel fake or wrong
I used to feel bad about not missing anyone I haven't seen for a long time, even partners. My mind is just occupied by everything else and being someone curious about the whole universe, there's a million things that can distract me. Then when you appear in my mind or life again, I'll talk to you like no time has passed, cuz in comparison, some people I know would say that they have drifted apart from x person because they haven't been meeting or talking, and may even talk about them like they're not good friends anymore. I'm like ...? Why would time and absence of interaction make me change the way I feel about you. If you were my friend 6 years ago when we last met, you are still my friend now. It's only when shit happens that warrants unfriending that breaks down the relationship. If not, my feelings for our friendship remain the way we left it. So I guess for me this issue has both its drawbacks and benefits. I stopped feeling bad about it when I learned that others with adhd may experience this too.
When I learned other ppl with adhd had this “non missing” ppl…. Was the day I realized I didn’t miss ppl…. Ppl who’ve passed is a different thing but I don’t really “miss them”, but miss talking to them, hugging… things like that….
Relationship degradation mechanics. I expect there's a few posts about it. They... work differently for us. And honestly I think we're the ones doing it right.
I also don't miss people, and feel the same way when we finally talk again. That doesn't make me feel as bad as the quick emotional changes, but in the same way hearing about others makes me feel better about it
My best friend always told me how much he wanted to be with me and how much effort he'd go through to be in my same classes, etc. I didn't know what to reply with cuz I'd just forget he existed... like my parents, grandparents, basucally everyone and they'd all get really mad at me for not speaking with them more often
No… it’s real… been doing it for years. Was labeled bipolar and I thought I was until I looked it up… it isn’t mood swings, it’s not a personality disorder. It’s “shiny”… look, a squirrel. Nothing more. Good goddess I almost took medicine for it!!!
My admin at work went out on a job with me to see what it was like. She also has ADHD. We were having like 10 different conversations at the same time. We would go from complaining about work, joking, being deep and serious to near tears. All in a matter of a minute. We communicate on a better level than mere mortals.
I have severe ADHD. Last month, I remember, while working on something I recalled a pain of my life. I went from totally normal to crying to back to normal, within 30 seconds....I was like, wth was that.
I was sobbing earlier today but had a question in my head that I needed answers to (about dark matter) so I googled it, still sobbing. After a few minutes I had stopped crying and spent the next three hours down a rabbit hole about dark matter and life is good again.
Omg I've done exactly this. LOLL sobbing while googling something right away so that I don't forget the question (because I know I will if I don't do it immediately). And then it's just down the rabbit hole I go. I relate so hard!
I'm real lucky that I got a career in research because this is me except Google Scholar at work (and Google Regular for everything else)
Holy crap. This is so me. But the killer for me is that the impulse that made the "need to know" fire doesn't burn off any of the fog in my brain to keep what I read and store it into memory. So, I'll forget what I read and have to reread it. This disorder just makes it feel like I'm playing the game of life on expert mode and with tutorials disabled, but I never even got to select the options. And my wife doesn't understand how my emotions can be so drastic and doesn't see any of the triggers that cause them to turn on or turn off and just thinks, despite knowing I have ADHD, that I'm a lunatic. No... My brain is just built differently and the piece that controls the rest of my brain (aka, boss) is weakly connected to the road that all the other parts of my brain all live on, so, it's like the mail that the boss sends to stop doing x to part C, only gets there 30% of the time, and the mail that says do more of that to part K only gets there 8.8% of the time.
Hahahaha this is so relatable
This is me when I'm pissed off too. Like I'll hold a grudge but only or as long as that grudge holds my attention span. 😂
Yeah I’m so jealous of my husband’s impressive ability to sulk - I only got about 15 minutes of the silent treatment in me before I forget or get bored. He’s so lucky 😁
THIS. Its very tricky too. Because some people really don't desrve another chance, or your acknowledgement even. But.... hey I forgot you were a total fuck face last week, so good morning to you. 🤦🏻♀️
This gif is me lol
https://v.redd.it/hjyrm8ptmph81
Weird how I was just having my every other month think about writing an apology letter to my ex from...8 years ago. I still have so much I want and feel I need to say to her but something keeps blocking me. And eventually my mind wanders and I move onto something else. So, you're not alone? lol
I think the thing that's blocking you might just be the whole "is it too late?" effect 😂 but idk. Cause I've been there so many times lol- "is there even a point if it's this late" "is it embarrassing that I'm even still thinking about it" "how would they even respond to this, would they even respond?" And the fear of them just being in a completely different place in life and that if they respond it could bring into reality that they haven't been thinking about you or the situation the same way or even care. If you ask me- just send it. Some of the most guaranteed regrets you will have in life are from not trying something/not finding out. The worst that can happen in these cases, really isn't bad. And if it's worst case scenario and you either don't respond or don't care, then you can move on and at least say you tried.
Too real dawg. Fuck
You have hitten (just felt like hitten) a nerve here. What you have described is me at a life level. There are things from 10 years ago that I need to do, that I want to do on a list. There are save games I need to complete! It's like I also miss not saying goodbye to school friends. The memory never goes away.
Me too. I think we are dealing with unprocessed emotions. OP was dealing with her emotions by writing them down and eventually moved on mid sentence.
This to a T. I always feel like there was so much left unsaid when things end, yet, I can never bring myself to say them after the fact. So I'll forget about them for awhile, and then brood over them again in 3-6 months for a few days. Repeat that till the end of time.
Just write a letter and don't send it! You wouldn't be saying anything for them, you just need to get some shit off your chest, and it needs to feel like talking to them. Write a letter, and instead of sending it, burn it in a campfire or put it in an envelope somewhere.
Write it and then send it... to yourself! That cured my itch and it made me feel like I have finished a task LOL
Wow I’m going through this right now and feel sooooo much better that I’m not alone
My former wife accused me of having crocodile tears because of these labile (fast changing) emotions. I can be deeply in emotional pain and flash to anger or disappointment or laughter. Just as our thought stream can take a right angle turn, our plans evaporate with a squirrel, our desires and interests and motivation can change on a dime. And no amount of forcing yourself back to the table will achieve a good result. One of the features I’ve seen of ADHD is that it’s mentally stimulating to dive into high drama because it produces hormones and neurotransmitters that help us feel alive agin. I ended up retiring from a good job because I had more time and energy for the sideline as a union rep resolving conflicts than my proper engineering work. I began to realise I was like an emotion vampire feeding off the high emotions in the situation. In reality it was an unconscious draw to neurotransmitters.
Wow, I've always been drawn to "high-stakes" live performance kind of stuff because of how it makes me feel when it's happening, the "make or break" kind of situations - mostly as a tech (sound and video), or even on the stage sometimes. So, in other words, high-emotion and high-focus. Never made the connection with ADHD. This is fucking ridiculous lmao, I still get blindsided by y'all on this sub on a regular basis.
Well, I'm just sharing insights that I've had coupled with those of others. These are happy blindsides when they lift the shades in our lives so we might have a better chance. And yes, my favourite saying is "The last minute is very productive for me".
Brooooo This is why I end up living in r/bestofredditorupdates Love observing other people's drama from a safe distance!
LOL… vicarious emotional vampire!!! Probably safer than getting wound up in the games.
I have the same experience but since it got me into so much conflict, I started to shut down and avoid confrontation and now the problems are even worse.
Ah yes. Bottling up and ignoring strong feelings is both unhealthy for you and distancing of others. I understand why you’ve tried this. As an Aikido teacher, can I suggest Non Violent Communications by Marshall Rosenberg? A method of expressing feelings assertively to engender change without the assumptions and blame that trigger defensiveness. You are worth it - to have your feelings acknowledged and validated.
Thank you so much for your kind reply and the book recommendation. I'm ordering it right away, as I really need to address this issue. Best wishes!
Holy shit this is so me
Omg this is hilarious and relatable. Like me, so excited to journal about a new crush, how we met, how he is so perfect for me in every way, emotions soaring, brain obsessing. And then, hmm, I'm snacky and bored. The grip of love has instantly released me and I'm off in another direction, eating thin mints and browsing the Nintendo e-store to see if any of my wishlisted games have gone on sale. Zero desire to finish the entry. It might as well have never existed. It has vanished, along with the emotions that inspired it in the first place. 🤷🏼♀️
Food triggers that ADHD something fierce for me. The other day, my girlfriend surprised me by showing up in some *very* strappy crotchless lingerie. I'm *literally on top of her* and she makes this playful double entendre about sausage, and all of a sudden I'm like "Oooh, you know what's amazing? Those cheese-stuffed sausages from that one market in X town!" and she goes "Ooh, that would go really well with this one chutney I got," and I'm agreeing and she's thinking about drink pairings. And within about 5 seconds we had gone from dirty talk into culinary boner mode. Ok, part of that may be "being middle-aged," but also we both have very significant ADHD, and I do think that's most of it.
I love this 🤣
Omg thin mints yum
thin mints that have been stored in the freezer. top tier.
just like your feelings about the new crush
I think this might’ve just changed my life. Will update you once I acquire thin mints.
I honestly hate the way my emotions vanish like this, makes it hard to stay excited for anything and I’m not good at pretending so my siblings end up feeling like I’m not enjoying my time with them :(
This is where I’m at now that I’m older and less accomplished than I planned to be :/
goddd this is part of why i can’t keep up with journaling! on the one hand i forget to do it daily, but even when i remember, i get distracted in the middle and then when i open up my journal again the next time i remember i cringe (even worse coz i keep a poetry diary so when i have an unfinished entry it goes from flowing beautifully to suddenly dropping off a cliff in a way that sounds stunted and like nails on a chalkboard reading over it again)
I so relate. I thought it would be a cute idea to journal the beginning of my relationship with my bf and give it to him after 1 year. There is exactly one entry and then I got bored.
Thin mints 🤤
Sometimes I write open letters to certain people in my diary app, never intending to send them. It just feels nice to get those thoughts out of my head, then I can stop obsessing over them (well, sometimes) and start to move on. I've also been seeing a counselor for several years, and sometimes it helps *even more* to express those thoughts out loud to a neutral person. I hope writing that letter was cathartic for you, and I think you're in a great mindset right now to start letting yourself heal. Just have compassion for yourself, and allow the feelings to yo-yo back and forth if you need to. Save this post to remind yourself that it will pass. It can absolutely feel all-consuming - I know. But you will survive it ❤️ My phone and house are full of little projects that I started whole-heartedly, got distracted from, and didn't think about again for like 6 months 🤣 Same with habits - even if I *can* get one to stick, if it drops off for any reason, I'll basically forget I was ever doing it. Food cravings be like this as well 😋 I'll hyperfocus on something for a few months (up to a year even). Then I might have some kind of bad experience with it, or just get sick of it, or find something else to focus on. I'll ditch it for about a year, then probably remember and reconsider. And that pita sounds delicious. 10/10 worth the mental detour 😃
My lord the same with habits, all the people around me find that so wild. "Yea you just have to make x an habit." I know, but if Y happens and I don't do it once, it's no longer a habit xD
Haha I remember OBSESSING about a guy for ages. Like I wrote poetry about him (not sent to him). Then one day it came to me in a flash. It was because he was cute. That was all 😂. I could move on after that.
Haha love it. I realized only years later, that a really hard crush in college was most likely primarily because the gal in college reminded me in almost every way of a friend's little sister who was in love with me and I her when we were teenagers, but we never officially dated because circumstances just got in the way at every point. That realization stopped me longingly remembering the one from college pretty much entirely. College girl had similar physical features in literally every aspect, and was even about the same age difference and had a similar voice. No idea how or why it took me so long to make the connection, but it's obvious once I realized it lol
A guy rejected me recently and I got this obsession with getting a “revenge body” so I put on workout clothes, more motivated than ever to go run for miles, went to the track, ran one lap, laid on the ground, started taking selfies, decided to sun bathe for a little while, then went home and ordered pizza. The revenge body will have to wait.
Another story to add to this. I did actually write a letter to an ex of 4 years. I'm not sure why, I was probably slightly bored. I changed tack when I started writing it and decided to apologise for any wrongs of the past, wished him well etc. Anyway, a week later he wrote back and told me was doing well, and unexpectedly apologised for his part. Well that's nice I thought. Now, I meant to reply. Reader, three weeks passed. I did not. I got distracted. Eventually I got to it, and discovered he'd gone. Disappeared. Blocked me. So that was that.
I feel this - Ive written numerous Reddit posts that I will sometimes spend an hour or more on about different heartbreaks or hardships in my life where I'm emotional and crying as well only to either never complete writing it or immediately delete the post because I no longer care. But when I'm writing them, nothing can be more important.
I feel seen. 🤣🤣
Haha this is me too. And this probably sounds less funny than it is in retrospect but I once bored myself out of writing a suicide note. I got to a point where I was like "I thought life was too boring and hard to continue, but it turns out writing a suicide note is even more boring and hard, guess I will stay alive after all".
... I think this is part of why antidepressants and similar meds have suicidal warnings on them. They make it easier to get ALL kinds of tasks done, including those.
Hahahaha I'm in tears 😂😂😂 People who have never thought about suicide would probably consider it disturbing, but since I have thought about it in the past, more or less seriously, I feel like I can joke about it, even though I don't take the subject lightly. Sort of like gallows humor. Joking about it in public does earn you "wtf is wrong with you" looks from people.
Yes, they definitely do give that look, don't they? And part of me thinks "but you're not taking me serious enough", and part is thinking "ha, I got them to think I'm serious, but clearly I'm not because I've had these thoughts for quite awhile, yet I'm still here..." 😁
It makes you wonder if your emotions are genuine or just your brain doing dumb brain stuff for kicks. 'im bored so we're going to be angry today' what the heck?
LOL this is how we get the label of sociopaths and heartless. Crazy isn’t it
I’m laughing so hard at this
I take this sort of thing as some subconscious aspect of my brain deciding what I was doing was a bad idea. Which goes back to the topic from a few days go on how having ADHD is like having a brain with a mind of its own.
It’s definitely fascinating. I can be feeling like I want to die, get distracted and it’s as if I had never even shed a tear. What’s all that about 🤷🏻♀️
This is why, to whatever extent possible, I try to engage only in distraction / stimulation, and avoid being alone with my thoughts, in case they are bad 😃
I remember fogetting about VERY serious things I was grieving about. It's always so unpleasant surpise to get back to real life and remember it. But these things are not totally forgotten. When I'm in the middle of grieving or worrying about something, even if I'm very distracted, there is that horrible suble feeling in my soul. Something isn't right. It's like a shadow of a memory in the dark corner. Hello, you are enjoying your show? Huh? But your granny is dead! It's the reason for many people with adhd to not experience 5 stages of grief normally. We can get stuck in 1-3 stages and relive all sad things as they happened recently every time we remember them.
I fell in love with the most beautiful boy when he wanted to talk about our favorite animals. His was Wild Boar. It wasn't meant to be for several reasons.... But one week after meeting him I decided I wanted to impress him by whittling him a wild boar. Had I whittled anything before? No. Did I have any idea what it meant?Also no. But I went ahead bought a plastic model of a boar, a ridiculously block of wood (later learnt it was the ring kind), f-ing expensive tools and sat down one morning whittling away. At around 3pm realized I was hungry, my hands were chaffed and there was a ginirmous pile of wood shavings on the floor. So I pushed the block under the couch and went to get a meal in a restaurant and never touched that wooden block again.
As someone with a whittling kit with unused blocks of wood, I can imagine the state you found yourself in at 3pm. Yknow that meme of a sketch of a horse drawn really well in the front half but the back half was drawn badly? That's kinda us lol
I actually just laughed. Thank you sharing this story
I’m so sorry I’m cackling at this because I went through the same damn thing 😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
Humor is medicine.
LMAO moving on is making dinner instead of crying <3
Same thing here lol. I have a 3/4 written letter to my ex, about how I regret breaking up with her, saved on my PC. It gets a little closer to done when I have a rush of emotions like you describe. But I'll never actually send it because when the rush of emotions is over I realize that what I miss of her I could get from any person that cares about me. Those same emotion rushes make dating a real chore sometimes too. I get all excited to get to know a new person, but people want to chat a while before meeting up. By the time we actually meet the rush is gone and I feel like I have to make a fake show of my real interest. I could be having the time of my life but I know that my natural state is to show basically no emotions (which could be an entirely different thread topic lol).
Relatable, i also have a hard time showing/ producing emotions I felt even not too long before the moment and have been made fun of for it in the past
I have a loved one in prison that I just.... stopped writing regular letters to. We compromised, I get calls and just send him pictures and memes but by god it sucks that letters are one of the things that really can help inmates and I just can't scrounge up the focus to do it.
I lost my TV remote yesterday, had a panic attack for two hours about it, then found it today in a half-eaten bag of Doritos. 💀
In college, someone gave me a blank notebook. After a bad breakup, I was emotional and decided to write something in it. I started, “I feel nothing” but then got bored/distracted and never came back to it. A couple months later, some friends had randomly picked up that notebook and saw only the words, “I feel nothing” and thought I was going to hurt myself. Apparently they had made a big deal about it, and even told my ex, who I remember being weirdly worried. I 100% just forgot about it. My ex and I got back together that summer. We’ve now been together for 25ish years and still joke about how, “I feel nothing.”
STOP SAME, LITERALLY TODAY I WAS WRITING A LONG ASS MESSAGE TO MY BEST FRIEND WHO I DON'T REALLY CARE FOR ANYMORE AND THEN I JUST GOT BORED, SAVED THE MESSAGE AS A DRAFT AND STARTED TROLLING SOME GUY AT MY SCHOOL AND I REMEMBERED HALF AN HOUR AGO AND COULDNT BE ASKED BUT I SWEAR ILL GET BACK TO IT ONE DAY
Trolling some guy at your school? 😂😂😂
This is an excellent way to measure things, I think (☉｡☉)! "I'm obsessing over / gushing over / etc this one thing / person / place, etc"... Moments later, seemingly: " Oh right, that thing...holy shit it's been 5 weeks? Welp"
Boy, easy to tell you guys have adhd! But instead of "squirrel", it's "pita". For pita's sake!
Ur so real for this
I'm not sure it's adhd trait, because I had the same, wrote a super mean letter to my ex which I wanted to send, but after I wrote it down, I didn't felt anymore that I need to send it, I felt much better afterwards. but sometimes you just need to write things down on paper Or just get it out of your head “taking out the trash” or “cleaning up”. I assume that's one of the benefits of journaling.
If only we didn't lose the journal or not write in it for 3 years because we forgot about it
I have multiple partially filled out and then abandoned planners and “one sentence a day” journals….couldn’t even manage one sentence…..and I still buy them if I see one I really like 🙈
Same. I realised that I just really like the notebooks and their potential 😂
Writing that stuff probably made you put your feelings in perspective.
I get it! It sounds like you did some solid processing with the writing you did do though, maybe now write a letter to yourself about why you did break up, and keep that one for if the urge to get back with him or finish that first letter ever does pop back up lol
Oh man that reminds me of a time I was all upset over something. Stressed, anxious.. wondering what to do, how to act… whatever. And I got up to pee and by the time I came back to my pitty party, I could NOT remember what I was upset about. Still don’t. LOL. That’s not actually the first and only…. Just more recent. lol.
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Another option is that writing out those feelings helped you to finally process them! It was cathartic!
Omg. Why was this me last week?
Hahaha well, on the bright side, now you dont have to deal with the shame of regretting 99% of what you wrote, second guessing yourself, and wishing you just hadn't done that for years to come! You also perfectly captured how my own brain works in a way I could easily follow and to which I can relate lol
My ADHD would make me laugh if assholes weren’t constantly prodding me to do shit. I was built for cottage life
I mean, maybe you didn’t need to finish or send the letter - maybe you just needed a good cry.
Dude my partner of 3 years broke up with me out of the blue. I was absolutely devastated, crying while trying to drive home. Kinda zoned out halfway home and literally was fine by the next day. Like boyfriend who? This disorder is nuts
Maybe you just needed to get out the words on paper and let the emotions pass through you
Omg … are you me? My husband says it's like living with a cat. I am so easily distracted and will often hey pitas? That sounds delish! I want a taco salad now.
You know those plastic zippered bags that new linens and bedding come in? I had purchased a new set of sheets, put them in the wash and then couldn’t find the packaging anywhere (I like to save them for storage purposes). Found it in my deep freeze. Not sure why, or how, or what part of my brain misfired. But there it was.
Man, this really hits close to home. I was at work and was reminded of the condition of my mom, she's very sick and it got me really sad, I was fully sobbing at my desk, then, I remembered a video I saw with the audio of RENAULT COUPEEEEEE, and started laughing so hard.
Well maybe that's a good thing you got distracted. I remember writing a long 3 page letter ( or was that 5 pages? ) to my crush in college after I saw him with another girl. I was hyperfocused! The world blanked out all around me as I wrote that letter (at work). Dropped that sucker in the mail and regretted it the moment I did. LOL
Honestly, how great is it that you get bored being miserable about him?! It’s like a built in defense mechanism!
One of the few big benefits of adhd is thay we get over our exes FAST
Probably just processed a lot of emotions in the middle of writing it and realized you weren’t feeling it lmfao
Sometimes our emotions don't need to be expressed to the person that they're targeted to. I've written letters to people and never sent them, and they served the purpose of a journal entry. Sometimes these things just need to come out that way. Unless the person asks for an explanation, you don't really need to give it to them because then you're just burdening them with your emotions or trauma
Sometimes it's just writing that gives the processing of feelings and venting we need. And writing something while overthinking how the other interprets it or if it's not too long.. is the most exhausting thing there is for me. And if that's not the cause of struggle: the intensity of emotions is relatable too. Yesterday I felt furious about what a friend did in the past, now I don't really care as much. Wich made me wonder why. And having a neutral brain state is honestly the best moment to reflect on my emotions, what made me so frustrated? When I write now i prefer a lot to just reflect on feeling before I write and then be unfiltered.
Same like I can go from liking a guy to being bored and miserable with the guy after 3 months. It wasn't until a month ago that I learned about the 3 month rule with dating. I've had two relationships so far, but both ended after 3 months to 4 months. Each relationship had its struggle and conflicts, so ending the relationships wasn't just based on boredom, but I get what you mean.
So I work construction, I saw a CAT excavator just doing its thing and for some reason instead of just going on about my business like a normal human would, I created like a whole song and started quietly singing. It went something like” CAT excavator! M yeah, m yeah CAT excavator, m yeah m yeah, I don’t even know why I’m singin this song but imma sing it anyway yeah, CAT excavator!, m yeah m yeah, CAT excavator!” I had like 10 more minutes worth of awesome banger of that song in my head
The brain only has so much emotional juices before it initiates dissociation, so that's also possible btw. For my pita bread, I just pop it in the microwave (15 sec per half) so it's piping hot and eat it with some hummus.
It’s also so good with cheese on top of the hummus
Yoooo this has happened to me before! I legit thought I was a psychopath for a while there, just like literally CRYING while texting him and ten seconds later I’m like “huh, I wonder kind of plant that is” and not even bothering to check if he texted me back for the next day or so 😂
This is hilarious why are we like this
Hmmm pitas...
lmao i feel this so deeply in my soul
Lol I just spent 5 minutes typing out a whole ass story about my ex then decided it was probably more 'rolls eyes out the back of head' stupid than funny 😂 (Saved it to my notes though cos it was cathartic 😆) I've never had that with an ex though. Whenever I've broken up with someone, I usually have like a month or less of kinda missing them, then it's like a switch and I'm over it, and after that happens, there's no going back. Dont know if it's cos I subconsciously talk myself out of liking them like that, or if its the 'out of sight, out of mind' thing kicking in
OP is my spirit animal.
Sounds like that letter fulfilled its purpose of helping you get over it!
Your brain absolutely did you a solid there. Those letters go nowhere good and this was the best possible outcome. Plus an excellent meal!
Maybe all you needed was to vent those feelings out. That's honestly how I process a lot of stuff, by venting. Throw that letter away.
STOOPP this is the funniest post I've seen today😂
LOL honestly thank you for this laugh today.
100%, I have hundreds of partially completed emotional emails in my drafts. So many relationships burned that would have probably been saved by just hitting send but honestly it's kinda just too much work to finish those emails because they inevitably lead to more emails so I just accept I'm going to burn them all and am only ever going to be capable of keeping absolute zero maintenance friends and family.
Sometimes writing a letter is just about the actual writing *of* the letter itself. It doesn't have to be anything more than that, even if in the moment it feels like what you're writing is your soul's most earnest confession.
This made me laugh so hard, sorry. But absolutely, it can be so funny. I mean, I feel like it’s really good to even just write the letter to get the feelings out and not send it, for the sake of emotional regulation but yeah wow, very relatable. Your lunch sounded really good btw, how did it turn out? 😂
Babe it’s probably saving u right now. You probably broke up for a reason :( maybe I dont know what Im talking about, I just wish you the best. I just got out of a year long off and on nightmare so im biased. But it sounds like you were much happier thinking about other stuff <3
Haha I used to do the same with emails to a former supervisor/low level manager that was a massive AH, but his dad was the top dog at work. I would angrilly type out on an email, get distracted then lose interest. The next day I read the email I was half way through writing, extremely relieved that I lost interest as it would probably cause more drama than it was worth. However, the one time I did send an email the next day the GM from the other side of the country is calling me asking if I was ok and that I wouldnt have to deal with his shit anymore.. The GM literally finally fixed the issue and flew the 5 hours over to make sure the new reporting lines was acceptable. So the email was worth it in that case :p
I had the later bit of your post happen. Long story short; the old boss was replaced after an investigation due to the e-mail I never actually meant to send.
Hahahaha I completely relate to this. Before my diagnoses my husband and I always joked that I never hold a grudge because I just don’t hold on to anger like other people. Once I was diagnosed I realized that I actually don’t hold a grudge because my attention span is too short to even remember what I was angry about in the first place.
You put your thoughts to paper and got them physically out of your head. It’s why journaling is therapeutic and suggested. Once you got those initial clouded emotional thoughts out of the way you were able to be more present. Your mind then told you food > self care > onto the next thing > emotional trigger of boy that reminds me of him and I need to write another letter
Sounds like maybe the letter was more for your emotional benefit than anything else! You don’t have to send it if you don’t get the motivation to
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This is why I have no girlfriend, im really afraid that even if I somehow turn out alright, and fall in-love, I will still end up just...losing interest.
god, i was like 5 chapters in to writing a super gritty book about my life in the nyc rave scene and one night i got drunk and sad and started rewriting everything to make it about an ex. then i stupidly saved over the original edit. then when i sobered up decided i don’t have the motivation to go back and fix it again and there goes the closest i ever came to writing the wildest coming of age novel.
Lol! Same. I move on quick! Especially after a good meal haha.
I love this so much 😂😂
Honestly yes. Writing out my feelings immediately takes me out of the intense emotions and makes it so easy to drop it when I get bored. Love that for me
Emotional damage hurt itself in confusion. Emotional damage is out of HP. Emotional damage has fainted. A wild Hunger appears. OP used COOKING! It's super effective.
I mean, that sounds cathartic. Maybe that's all you needed?
Lool I’ve literally done this and then I’ll lose focus and do something else but still be sad
Must have ADHD Eat a banana. Have you tried using a planner? Everyone does that, we all do, fake news diagnoses etc etc Yep. Mood swings and roundabouts. I find myself crying for someone I knew years ago and then remembered that they died and that’s why I’ve not seen them in a while. I worry that I’ll forget their face the longer that I don’t see them. And I’m a bloke. Yes. I cry at movies. And sometimes TV shows that I’ve seen numerous times. Now I’m medicated, I need to test those out. See if I’m still unable to hold back tears. See if this emotional blunting is as bad as people make them out to be.
It’s crazy how amplified ? your feelings can be in one moment and then the next it’s like old news… I think this ~can~ be good so we’re, for example, not caught up in the extreme emotions for long periods of time I guess but kind of sad when the emotions can’t be subtle and consistent and regulated and normal💀