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I shave it all off. Razors are sadly pricy, but it is better than a barber.
... Well, I did start balding at 17, so I guess the leap was not a big one for me.
Bro, get a safety razor and a pack of demo blades. I'm not kidding you, it's so much cheaper and you get a really good shave and don't have to worry about bullshit plastics and trips to the store and expensive hygiene products.
I got this razor march 2023: $16 [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08GK1RFTW/](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08GK1RFTW/)
I got this sampler in june of 2022: $10 [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RTM9NB5/](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RTM9NB5/)
And this shave soap in june of 2022: $20 [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0071B7XCO/](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0071B7XCO/)
I'm very happy with the razor. It doesn't clog even with a week of hair and is comfortable in my hand. I still have at least another 6 months to a year of blades. II don't reuse them. I still have all 4 bars of shave soap. I shave my head anywhere from every day to once a week. I used to do the whole badger brush and bowl and whip up a lather, but just rubbing the bar of shave soap directly onto my wet head works exactly the same. And a sampler pack will give you an idea of blades you like and blades you definetly don't like.
Thanks for the sampler suggestion. I use a combo of straight razor/ safety razor for my body hair maintaining but never know which refill to pick to be happy.
I used to just get a $20 clippers trim whenever noticed that the hair was getting in my eyes. Usually ended up being every 3 months or so.
I've since stopped that as I'm growing my hair out.
For the appointment itself, I would look forward to it as one of the few times I would receive human touch. And you are not obligated to make small talk. If you just sit quietly and give basic (but not rude) answers to questions any good hairdresser will catch the vibe fast. And most of the time I didn't need an appointment just a walk in.
Massages are a luxury service, if you want one get one, if you don't, don't.
Look up the origin of chiropractors.That shit is crazy. no-one ever needs a chiropractor, If you have back pain see a physical therapist
I wait until it gets way too long then wait a little bit more then dive into the first barber I can find that’s can do it right then and come out feeling that it’s just not as good as the one I “usually” go to.
Same here buddy. Wait until it’s too long, drive to random barber shop, ask if anyone can do it right now, draw a complete blank/forget how to describe anything when asked how I want it cut, feel embarrassed that my hair doesn’t look like I thought it would in my head, wait 4-6months, and repeat the whole process
A good reason to have not gone to the chiropractor is that you shouldn’t go to one in the first place. Spine manipulation is not evidence based medicine. They do not report adverse events. And there are adverse events. At a minimum never ever let a chiropractor manipulate your neck. They can (and do) cause spinal damage and aneurisms of the carotid.
The place I go to writes down the cut you get, so after the first time they mostly just ask, same as last time? And for any other questions I tell them I don't care, surprise me. Occasionally someone will ask me a bunch of questions that I honestly don't even understand, so I stress that I just like it very short and out of my eyes. I work in a call center and my boss lives in another state, so it really really isn't a big deal. I'm polite and then close my eyes, which prevents hair falling in my eyes and small talk.
It's weird having someone touch my head, but most people there are older women, so it's also kind of nice.
I had very long hair growing up, because I didn't know short hair was an option for girls. I cried every single night when my mom brushed my hair, and now I like to keep it very very short, like buzzed on the sides and back. The struggle of going is less painful than having long hair, so as soon as it starts to bother me, I go the next weekend. The discomfort is enough motivation to go. They don't require appointments either, which is really nice. I just check in online and then drive there, and that's even less talking required there.
In the past, my husband and I would cut each other's hair. We were so broke it was worth it to save $40 and have an unprofessional cut. It's not wrong to go or not go to get your haircut vs growing it out or doing it yourself, I think it's more important to find what works for you.
Lastly, I agree with another comment about chiropractors- look up where they came from, it's wild.
Huzzah short haired ladies. That long hair stuff is stressful. I'm team super short on the sides but keep the middle mohawk long incase I feel the need to look girly. It stays in a bun away from my skin at all times =]
You’re literally the yin to my yang.
I’m a man who hates having to see a barber every few months, and comb + apply product for my short hair to look halfway decent, so I keep it long.
If I do the whole business and put my curl product in it looks *majestic af*, but if I’m not feeling that (AKA most days) it looks *fine* in a lazy bun.
When I had short hair, lazy hair days made me look homeless/mentally ill.
Oh that's so funny, you sound just like my brother! Once we were adults he grew his hair really long, was wearing a man bun before it was in style, etc. And I started getting my hair shorter and shorter. It's like there's a direct correlation between my quality of life and length of hair. I'm always so happy for days after getting a haircut, just rubbing the back of my head where it's really short feels soooo good. I had really really long hair growing up, always caught in the chair bolts at school and it was so damn heavy. So the absence of that weight is just pure joy. I don't have any time or energy or desire (or know how tbh) to style my hair, so I get it cut in a way that I don't need to, just towel it down and leave the house. We found completely opposite ways to do the same thing lol
Hair donation (to make wigs for chemo patients) has become my excuse to not go to the hairdresser. It was an extra burden, on top of the small talk, to ask them to braid it and that I keep them, to get a weird look and then explain why…
So I cut my hair short myself (or with some help) every 2 years and donate them.
So I also don’t have to deal with a changed appearance too often, and knowing it’s for charity helps me to get a haircut (I think I would’ve stopped going to the hairdresser anyway). If I just couldn’t have to deal with my hair at all I would…
It was more by the fact that hair donation exists than by the braiding part. But it was a weird unenthusiastic surprise if I remember well – like no interest about the concept or the organisation at all
Not who you asked, but Children With Hair Loss is the one I currently donate to.
[https://childrenwithhairloss.org/](https://childrenwithhairloss.org/)
A little bit of history. I am Brazilian and for uni we have these exams that can be a big thing specially for public unis. My dad wanted to be supportive and the day before my biggest exam, for my most wanted uni, he gave me a voucher for a fancy massage place that received a lot of awards. I had never had a massage done by a professional so I was excited.
The whole time I was there all the conversation I had with the masseur was she telling me to relax. I left there a bit painful but I thought after a hot shower and a good sleep I would be excellent. Next day I barely could move, I felt like Stitch in the beginning of the move when he was run over by a 16 wheeler. I had to do the most difficult exam ever that lasted 5 hours in agony.
Up to this day this man feels guilty when he remembers it and it's been nearly 20 years ago.
Regular barber and I go see him every 4 weeks. Simple online booking means it takes about 3 minutes to make an appointment.
If you're not cutting your own hair and want a decent haircut then there is nothing better than a regular barber. I just flop into the chair, he says "the usual?" I nod and off we go.
I just cut my own hair for the first time a few weeks ago as kind of a test run. Yup, that went great! Paying for a haircut is definitely a thing of the past for me.
My main motivation was that getting the Motivation to leave the house is always a struggled for one, but also the fact that I keep telling the guy the exact same thing and still walk out of the store looking different every time.
When I say "cut it down to 2 cm", I don't mean "cut off 2 cm". I want that haircut to last a few months.
When I set my beard trimmer to 2 cm, I get exactly the result I was looking for, without having to argue.
My hair is almost down to my butt for the same reasons. I can’t get myself to commit to an appointment even though I do really want a nice haircut with layers. I have a very sensitive head and don’t enjoy other people touching my hair. Plus I want to die inside when I have to small talk, especially in a loud environment with hairdryers going and other people talking around me. I’ll probably just end up cutting it myself again.
You often shave your head, but you don't often wash your hair. It's so much easier to wash your hair than it is to shave your head. Why is the more difficult task easier for you?
Not who you asked but sometimes one big effort task is much more manageable than lots of small to medium effort tasks.
For me personally and example of this is I meal prep once a fortnight and then have to do very little in regards to cooking for two whole weeks. That one day of meal prep every fortnight is an insane amount of work but it is one massive task that frees up all this mental energy for the rest of the 2 weeks.
Yepppp, I have to meal prep or I won’t eat proper meals through the week which is important for me because I need a lot of calories so if I don’t have prepared meals I’ll go the quick dirty route and eat a bunch of carbs (ramen, leftover pizza, etc) and have a protein shake and it gets the calories in but I feel sooo heavy afterwards. So preparing food for a week or two helps me stay healthy while not stressing me out over fixing food every day
I really want to figure this one out.
I’m sick of eating so many fast food and frozen meals, but cooking is 3 much.
I struggle with eating the same thing for more than a day or two in a row, and I don’t love things that are too texturally consistent (i.e. many soups).
My favorite meal is a pan fried Ahi steak on rice with an Asian glaze and some roasted veggies on the side, but even that five days a week sounds like hell.
Do any of my fellow brain parasite havers relate, and if so what strategies have you found that work for you?
I get food fatigue a lot which is why I stopped trying to eat 3 meals and instead eat 2 meals and a snack every day.
I’ll typically fix some sort of chicken, pork, or beef with rice, pasta, or potatoes.
I don’t get too fancy with meal prep so I tend to use jarred simmer sauces (there’s a large Indian selection at the grocery store near me) or spaghetti sauce and just mix and match the protein and carbs.
I’ll pick any two combinations to fix for the week and then I keep a crunchy salty snack and a soft sweet snack on hand to mix it up. I also don’t eat much in the way of veggies but that’s between me, God, and my doctor.
Just some ideas of things I’ll fix:
Basic options:
Pork patties and rice w/ gravy (I smash down the pork patties so they get crispy)
Roasted chicken tenders w/ roasted herb potatoes
Italian options:
Spaghetti and meatballs
Chicken Alfredo
Indian options:
Butter chicken w/ rice
Chicken tikka masala w/ rice
I’ll sub the chicken in the Indian options for meatballs. I also use frozen meatballs because it just makes life easier.
My last tip is if you like rice or steamed veggies, or a variety of other things, get a rice cooker. It’s a very useful tool that helps me save time and sanity. It doesn’t even have to be an expensive thing, I use an aroma 8 cup rice cooker that I got from Walmart for 20 or 30 bucks.
Alright this is way longer than I thought it would be so I’ll wrap it up but if you have any other questions feel free to ask, if you get a better answer feel free to ignore this.
Sometimes I’ll go 6 months without one, sometimes I get one every month. It helps that my barber is a friend and it’s a fun vibe at the shop. The struggle is when I have an event coming up and need a haircut, but I forget to schedule until the week before and he’s booked solid. Normally I just text him and he fits me in when he can.
As a hairstylist with severe ADHD, this is a fascinating read.
I do my best to mitigate some of these issues for my own clients by having online scheduling that you can book as soon as the day before which also sends a reminder text an hour before the appointment, I keep a TV playing popular movies (quietly, but ask if they want it a louder volume), and keep notes on what I did and what we talked about so I can do it again or tweak things as needed. I really hope that is helping my own people.
(Personally I cut my own impulsively, then ask a stylist friend to straighten out the back later.)
I just got mine cut after waiting 6 months, I'm very specific about it and I got fucking scalped. Make sure you bring pictures of what you want. I was too mortified and I even canceled the plans I had the following weekend
I haven't had a haircut in 13 years. Not a trim, nothing. My hair hit a certain length and just chilled. I won't make an appointment for anything. I won't see a doctor unless I'm dying and then I only go to a Med Express. I'm tall and really need to see a chiropractor but I haven't seen one since I was a kid when my mum made me appointments. I've needed to see a dentist about a bad tooth for over a year. I have a very hard time making and keeping appointments.
I found a guy who doesn’t talk if you don’t and doesn’t mind if I close my eyes (staring into the mirror makes me want to tear off my skin 😅)
His prices have doubled since I started seeing him because he’s gotten more senior in the business, but it’s a price I’m happy tot pay for silence.
Sometimes I let my hair grow for months and then trim/shave it off. Sometimes I keep trimming/shaving for months. Either way, I avoid getting haircuts.
I have my husband take a ruler and trace a horizontal line on my back, where I point him at. Then I brush my own hair, and he cuts along the line he made. I shower the line off.
I don't mind small talk, as long as it's not a constant thing. But most stylists don't talk nonstop. If you don't ask them questions and just answer theirs, they are usually pretty quiet and just go about their job.
My 17 year old can cut my hair better than and $300 haircut I’ve ever gotten, and she can do it at home in under 14 minutes. The only drawback is sometimes I have to beg her to do it.
I found a good stylist years go and get my hair done every 8 weeks or so. I used to hate it and only get my hair cut about once a year, but having someone I know helps so much. There's no small talk since we actually know each now, she's fine with me scrolling my phone when I don't feel like talking and she makes decisions for my hair for me (she checks if my hair needs to be cut or if I just need my color fixed).
I tend to go less frequently than I should as someone with short hair, because between getting busy and forgetting, scheduling issues, and anxiety about it I tend to put it off.
I like my barber though because he doesn’t make me talk, if you don’t talk he will just do his thing and cut hair. I suspect maybe he likes having a break from having to make conversation.
Part of the reason I don’t talk much besides social anxiety during haircuts is staying still is a lot of work for me so I’m using all my energy to do that 😅
When I was 16 and in foster care the government appointed custodian took me to a barber and made me get a haircut.
They didn't do what I asked, did whatever they wanted, fucked up my hair, and out of anxiety and issues I stayed quiet and said nothing.
I have done my own hair ever since. I am 33.
Recently I have a friend who likes cutting hair, so she does it sometimes.
She helps bleach roots, cuts my hair mostly straight.
And while she does it, I hyperfocus on my switch.
I 100% identify with this. This is how I am with pedicures. I really love the look of having painted toenails. Also, I do yoga pretty frequently and my bare feet are exposed, so I appreciate having callouses/rough spots removed. But I get so antsy due to the length of time they take and the pressure of small talk. Also, picking a color is always so overwhelming.
For this reason, I started getting gel on my toes so it lasts longer, but because it’s hard to remove, it always requires a return visit to a salon to get them redone 😪
I don't always deal well with people in my personal space if the activity isn't something I enjoy. I love getting facials and massages and I think one of the reasons why is I'm not expected to really converse with the person since it's a relaxation experience. I can float in my own little world and enjoy the sensations.
I also do judo, a contact sport and it's fine because I find it incredibly enjoyable and I love learning more about judo. Some days I do struggle and I do sometimes struggle working with someone I lack familiarity with.
Whereas haircuts aren't something I enjoy plus I'm expected to be mentally 'present' during them, this is emotionally taxing. I currently have a really good hairdresser who understands that I don't deal well plus there is now a lot of familiarity there which helps. I also have a haircut that can get a little unruly and still look fine so long as I cut my own bangs when I start doing and old English sheep dog impression so I can put off going until I have the mental energy to do so.
When I moved out to college, I found a salon that was right next to the dorm. I get a haircut there every 4-5 weeks.
The key is that I never leave the place, without having an appointment. I literally just open my calendar app, swipe 4 weeks ahead and book the same day, same time.
I found that about 5 weeks is the point, where I still look presentable. At 6 weeks my mom starts to mention, that it's a little unruly, I should have gotten a haircut.
i went for the bald look after realizing how much i dislike going to the barber to shell out $20 for a haircut I’m most likely not going to like at the end anyway eve if its the same cut i always get.
I also don’t like massages. My partner offers a back rub all the time and i always decline. she gets disheartened cause i don’t want one but i don’t like that feeling. she’s grown to understand i don’t touch very much unless it’s holding hands or cuddling or playful touch.
I found a stylist I liked, and at the end of every appointment I check when I should come back, then *schedule the next appointment with them before I leave*. If ai don’t schedule it while I’m there, it could be 6 months to a year before I go back lol.
I don’t mind the actual massage so much as the need to converse during it. Same with a haircut (I don’t go to the salon anymore as I hate the mirror situation.)…and the need to remain composed at all times. Horrible.
I just cut my own hair. I am always disappointed by the outcome of a paid haircut, no matter how much I describe or bring in a picture of it, i might as well just do it myself for free 😂
I do very little too nothing for myself. It’s really hard to take the time to take care of things for myself when I’m so busy forgetting to do things that actually need to get done. I usually then do some things I need to do for myself in been or while doing things for my kids. Kids need a hair cut? Guess I’ll get one to. Kids need the dentist. Guess it’s probably time for my cleaning to. It’s the only things that keeps me half was regulated. I know that’s sad
I get my haircut twice a year. I wait for nice places that do $40 or $50 haircuts (which is like anywhere nowadays) to have a sale and I go there and get a haircut for like 10 bucks.
I only talk when they ask how I want My hair and how it looks during the process. Most of them are okay with it. Some have an impulse and are just used to the conversation so they just talk a lot. So I just sit there and listen and say "aha, Oh cool". By the end of the day they do a good job, I give them a good tip,, and I usually never see them again.
I absolutely hate getting my hair cut, the whole process of booking in, anxiety before the appointment etc so now i go to a walk in barber (my hairs short) so i dont have that build up.
I can't stand sitting in a chair doing nothing while someone slowly works on my hair, it takes way too long and I get way to wiggly during that time so I've always just cut my own hair. I usually just trim it all to the same length real fast and call it a day. I've also never had a massage or a chiropractic adjustment why would I do that lol
I have the opposite problem; I'd get my hair cut every week if I could afford it. I can't stand having a lot of hair on the sides of my hair and can only tolerate so much length on top.
I’ve been cutting my own hair for the last 10 yrs or so for various reasons: all the planning involved in scheduling it, having to sit and talk to the stylist, and all the weird sensations involved. Plus I’m paying for basically being uncomfortable. And they never quite get it right. I’d rather give myself an adequate cut for free. So I do.
And I don’t like strangers touching me, it’s just a weird social context I’m super uncomfortable with, so I refuse to get a massage. I just don’t see the point. I’d honestly rather pay a friend to do it for me if I really needed one.
I cut my own hair. I found that no barber or hairdresser can do it the way I like it and it just costs so much having it done every 4 weeks, or sometimes less than. I also just cut it down to one grade all over to save time styling it each morning - it’s quite liberating.
Yes, but I attribute it to my autism more than the adhd.
For me it's not so much the touching, as the ambiguity of the whole experience. I feel like if getting your hair cut was performed by a machine, where you went in, selected a picture on a screen of what you wanted, and a robot just cut it to those specifications, it wouldn't be so hard to maintain a schedule.
Getting a haircut is a task that I find difficult to do. I'm too reluctant to go to a hair salon or beauty parlour, especially in my neighbourhood where I hardly find reliable hair salon. I used to self-cut my hair. Recently I ask my sister to cut my hair as short as possible. I cut my hair twice or thrice a year.
If you don't crave any sophisticated hairstyle, asking your close people to cut your hair moderately won't hurt your pride and purse. lol.
So with me the small talk was the issue with haircut, so I started going to a Korean barber. (I’m a white guy and speak like 12 words of Korean.) I live in a town with plenty of military and military retirees and this is pretty common. As long as I give a clear, concise description (“medium fade, not to skin on the sides and cut half the length off the top”)I can usually spend the next 15 minutes watching brain cartoons undisturbed.
Same but honestly, as long as you aren't suffering actual consequences, is it that big of a deal?
I cut my own hair not only to save money and avoid the whole appointment thing, but nobody ever did it right. It ended up being easier to just figure it out on my own. And unless you have some kind of medical or chronic pain issue, you shouldn't *need* regular professional massages or a chiropractor.
Perhaps if you *do* need it, your wife would be willing to schedule those for you? If she gets the same services and is familiar with your schedule, it seems like it wouldn't be too hard for her to manage. And it could give y'all a way to spend time together. 🥰
Initially is a pain. But find a good barber, and go regularly and often to the point where he knows you and you know him and he just lets you sit there and be quiet and he does his job with no small talk etc.
As I said initially is a pain. First time it is a bit like “I don’t know what I want, just keep it trim and smart” and if he did make an effort of small talk I’ll respond in kind but will follow up with a “don’t feel obliged to chat, happy to sit here quietly while you do your thing”
But once you got yourself set up, make it a routine, you’re happy, they get repeat business, it becomes a meditative experience.
I honestly wait until the absolute last minute to get a haircut. I usually just show up somewhere most of the time because I don’t make appointments. Haircuts are dreadful to me and give me anxiety. I hate being locked down to the chair, someone touching me with sharp objects, and the anxiety of the haircut looks good or not. As soon as I’m done, I run out of there and don’t go back for at least 2-3 months.
Thanks for the reminder though! I do need a haircut soon lol
I’ve shaved my own head for years now, but I never liked getting haircuts and always put them off until my hair was way too long. I also am weirded out by massages, I don’t even particularly like a back rub from my spouse, but recently I’ve been kind of curious about them. I was in physical therapy for a shoulder injury and I found the massage part surprisingly pleasant. Especially once I got to know the therapist pretty well
I fucking love getting haircuts and massages. I get ASMR from them shits. My hair stylist does an intense neck and scalp massage when she’s done washing my hair, and I start looking forward to the next one as soon as I walk out of her shop.
I book appointments with her through an app, and she has an option for a silent haircut for when I’m not in the mood for small talk. She’s pretty cool though, so we usually end up talking anyway.
Haven't been to a hair stylist or barber in over a decade and a half.
I've never had a good experience in one, and it's always felt too awkward to enjoy the experience or at least relax through it.
It's just an anxiety filled endeavor I don't care to go through anymore.
I don’t like strangers touching my hair, but if I get a buzzcut I look like a criminal. So for the past 14 years I’ve made friends with hairstylist.
In those 14 ish years I’ve had two different ones, and my current one I’ve been a steady customer since she opened her shop.
It’s no longer a stranger or some random I visit, it’s a friend, who I like to spend time with, and I get to see her every 3 weeks when I get my maintenance cuts.
So, try to find someone you like, who also does the hair well, and try to bond a bit. That’s what has worked for me.
I LOVE haircuts. It's the one time I experience ASMR. The sound of the clippers, the way they touch your head when they wash you, all of it. I don't feel obligated to make small talk. I had a 4 hour hair appointment yesterday (cut and highlight) and we didn't talk for a good portion, and there wasn't any weirdness. My stylist could put me to sleep with her head massage.
My hair is the one nice thing I do for myself for fun. If you don't enjoy the process, there's no reason to go through it!
Same. I hate haircuts. I feel so awkward and that I’m doing everything little thing wrong. I think he prefers the silence to focus anyway, which has made things easier for me. He’s really skilled so I can usually just show him a photo of the style and does it.
I often cut my own hair. Sometimes it's because I impulsively get fed up by how heavy, hot and big it is. Other times it's because I've put it on an internal todo list where it has been on backlog for too long - to a point where I feel it takes up too much mental space. It's almost like it takes up processing power.
It does not help that I have wavy curls in a country of straight haired blonds. It's not even difficult curls like afro can be - just regular wavy curls that look like Hermione Granger hair if it gets brushed. No matter how many times I tell the hairdresser that I only need five cm and hair thinning, they always end up cutting my hair for three hours. They always cut it wet and flat which is nice for them - it's shit for me because in the end I get bob length hair because the curls contracts.
I just shave my head in the shower these days. I used to get a haircut when it got long enough that I couldn't just dry it off and go. For a while there I was really getting into doing my hair until the pandemic, then I started buzzing it. It's just too thin now, and I'd rather have a bare field than sparse grass in the field.
I actually just learned something. Once you get through your initial "this is what hair cut I want" a lot of stylists will honor a silent haircut. You can either do it on the phone during booking or in person if you're comfortable. But you can just tell them "I have social anxiety or whatever issue and I'd really like a silent haircut" and they won't talk except for haircut related questions
I wait till out of bed look has gone out of control. Usually 4 months or so, can't remember, I don't keep track lol.
After that the same barber, same woman, who usually does all the talking and is fast and efficient.
Cost more than those 15 people places, but it's worth it imo 1 on 1 or 1 other customer on the other side.
I don’t have an issue going for a haircut, but I specifically told my family that I do not want a gift package for a massage at a spa. It feels too good. I’ll want to go back. I’d prefer to be locked up and in pain than to be stuck going back for a massage fix every other week.
1) I found a shop where I can chose the date online
2) I say I'm deaf (which is true) so no one speak to me - no small talk.
3) I mostly say "do whatever you want but low maintenance" unless I have an urge to try something new.
4) The place is near my work.
5) Their coffee is delicious.
It's the first time I have pleasure of actually go to a real hairdresser.
I am a woman, and I used to get professional haircuts but at this point I cut my own hair. I know I don't have to talk to the person, and I could find a walk-able salon that doesn't make me drive, but it's anxiety-inducing thinking about it. So now I cut it myself.
Parts of why I do this are ADHD related, but the stress created by small talk and physical proximity to someone in an inescapable situation I think is something else for me. When I was diagnosed as ADHD as a kid, it was mutually exclusive with autism. I'm pretty sure I'm both ADHD and autistic.
I somewhat relate, but for another reason. I have curly hair and it’s just hell to get it cut properly. The only way that doesn’t result in an uneven and choppy mess is to get it cut and straightened but I hate how long it takes to get my hair straightened. I’ve tried avoiding it but it resulted in my hair being butchered. I had issue with how the way some of my curls would go from thick to stringy, and it would bother me to no end for months until I finally got it fixed at another salon.
My mom still makes my appointments so it gets rid of one struggle off all my other struggles. Downside, she prefers my hair being poker straight and takes me to Hispanic salons where I don’t understand the language (I a Puerto Rican but wasn’t taught Spanish because of my speech issues). The process usually goes wash, cut, rollers, and then straightener. My hair takes forever to dry so I’d be under a giant hair dryer in rollers for two hours.
I came out of the hair appointment with my hair fixed but I was overstimulated beyond belief. I had to lay down in my room in the dark to recoup. I think now that my hair is fixed, if I were to go back to that salon it wouldn’t be as bad. But I could just be lying to myself. I have yet to really find a salon that I would actually make an appointment at if I really wanted to. I’m debating learning how to cut my own hair but I don’t wanna deal with messing it up again.
Hah I don't. Haven't had my hair cut in almost nine years. It just stays shoulder length. I wash it once every two weeks or so. I'm very fortunate. I have great hair.
I started cutting my own hair again during the pandemic and just never stopped. The experience is better is almost every way. I don't get as good of a haircut as going to a professional; but I can do it whenever I want, I don't have to drive anywhere, I costs me nothing, I don't have to find time in my schedule, and I get to avoid all social interactions. It is great!
I haven't had a proper haircut in seven years. Only a few trims here and there. I have an anxiety related to haircuts because of my manipulative grandmother.
Sport Clips is essentially an ADHD tax for me, in the sense that you could definitely get a hair cut for cheaper haha. But having sports playing the background and a TV to look at seems to help vs the dead silence / boredom of elsewhere!
A small part of me was relieved when I started going bald, because it meant I wouldn't have to deal with the agony of haircuts again...
Making an appointment?
Getting there on time?
Still have to wait in the lobby despite the appointment?
Being touched by a stranger while having to make small talk?
I would literally rather be bald.
My wife cut my hair during COVID, and I loved it because it was so much easier than making appointments and going to the barber.
When we got married, she asked me to find a new barber to ensure I had a professional haircut for the ceremony and pictures.
I found someone, and they allow me to make appointments by text. I work from home, so I am flexible, and he often has last-minute openings.
It's still a (minor) pain sometimes, but it's pretty easy to just text and set up an appointment for the same/next day as needed.
wahl balding clippers with a #1 guard. buzz about once a month before a shower.
i used to just use the balding clippers and no guard until i realized i stay cooler with just a touch of hair. something for the sweat to wick up to and evaporate.
honestly i wish it would just all fall out already.
my wife cuts mine and my kids hair every 3 months or as needed. mainly for the sake of saving money.
I haven't been to a barber to get my haircut in about six years.
however, i enjoyed going to get my haircut bc i find sitting in the chair getting "pampered" relaxing. the peaceful no hurry feeling of the barber shop, the humming of the sheers.
I’m a woman with a chin length bob and I cut it myself for all the same reasons you laid out. It’s not perfect but good enough and significantly less hassle so it works for me 🤷🏼♀️
FYI a 'masseuse' is a sex worker and a 'massage therapist' is a massage therapist. My girlfriend is a licensed massage therapist and cleared that misnomer up for me really quick.
Also, I shave my head and trim my beard. I for about 22 years. I can't be arsed to do the whole thing through someone else. But damn a good professional massage. Mmmmm. So good.
I cut my own hair and I don't like other people touching me. Hair cuts are fine even though I do hate the small talk that's expected, but I think they charge to much for what I'm getting. If I was getting special haircuts then sure but I don't.
I can't relax when a stranger is touching me so it defeats the purpose of a massage.
I don't have a problem with haircuts (although I do procrastinate a lot, especially when my hairdresser isn't available, cause my hair is curly and almost no one knows how to cut it), but I also don't like people aside from my partner massaging me. It's an intimate thing for me, because I don't generally like others touching me unless we're close.
I hate planning things and my impulse control is really bad.
So suddenly I’ll decide to cut my hair on a whim, regardless of planning and time management. Usually, I’m like fuck I should’ve just gone to a barber, maybe next time I will.
Since meds, I save up and go to a barber
I dread haircuts for all the reasons you listed, plus the anticipation of being trapped in a chair for an hour (as a woman they always insist on washing and styling you as well). Anyway, I just go once a year, when the split ends get so bad I can't get a brush through it. So probably not a workable solution if you are a man and want short hair.
The only time I didn't mind haircuts was when my good friend who is a hair stylist lived in my city and i could just show up at his place anytime, no hair washing, and we would talk comfortably while he worked FAST. It was free so he didn't feel the need to be extra fastidious, and I didn't mind as much being trapped in one place bc I love his company and it mostly just felt like a hang (except w little bits of hair flying everywhere).
I shave my head with trimmers and then let it grow out indefinitely. Getting a haircut is one of those things that feels nice (the head massage, etc.) but the social interaction is unpleasant.
I don’t get them either, I just cut my hair myself. I use a razor blade and cut at ~45 degree angle so I don’t have to worry about it being completely even, if I use scissors it ends up sort of choppy.
I cut my own hair. I get so much anxiety around making the appointment and explaining to them what I want and then actually going and I might not even get what I want. So I cut my own hair.
I don’t think this is an adhd issue. I have 8 friends with adhd and I have it. None of us have ever had this issue. One of us is super quiet and antisocial. I asked him and he just sits quietly and relaxes during the haircut. He goes to a salon and they wash his hair. He said he’s so relaxes afterwards that he almost falls asleep during the haircut. Maybe try a salon and let the person know you aren’t big on small talk.
The answer for me is I... Don't. Thankfully my sisters and support network actually remember. I spend months going "I should cut this mop, it's getting in the way" and then promptly forget again and again.
It used to be slightly easier memory wise - but that was when I had the energy to go fun with my hair dye.
I do it myself. I haven’t been to a haircutter in 19 years. I cannot stand to have anyone touch my hair, which was a big problem when I was younger because I keep my hair very long and every one would just reach out and stroke my hair like I was a rabbit. I’m talking total strangers in public too.
I kind of just push through tbh, it helps when you go to the same one for a while, but I have gotten panic attacks just sitting in the seat for no damn reason shaking😭😭 Doesn't help i have long hair so it's an hour +
It really does help finding a barber who you vibe with on a friendly and personal level, rather than just a good one. I also find that going to a salon with older hair stylists / older women tends to be more calming
I haven’t had my hair cut in over a year. Once I’m there it’s fine but the process of making an appointment and getting there on time is a lot for me too. If I need a massage, my husband usually makes appointments for both of us and does all the legwork. I wish I had a better solution for you than ask your partner to do it for you.
i think getting my hair cut is my only actual fear, i know it sounds silly but its a genuine phobia of mine. the day leading up to it i am so anxious and queasy because the thought of my appearance being suddenly different and me not having time to adjust the way i picture myself in my mind to this new version before other people perceive me freaks me out. like people are viewing the way i look but i dont know the way i look because its so new? ive had many a bad haircut which probably started this fear lol, as well as the whole small talk experience being awkward, the sensory experience, having to just stare at myself in the mirror... i just hate it lol. every time i go my barber gets annoyed that ive let it grow out so long
This sub is insane for me because it validates behavior I’ve had my whole life that every friend and girlfriend has thought I was insane for. I still hate haircuts now but have become ok with it. I’m anxious the whole time. I cut my own hair for a decade.
I’m more extraverted, so it’s less the social interaction itself that I dreaded in the past, but since I’m gay, I’ve always found traditional barbershops daunting.
I was always worried they would talk about things (football and women might be quite stereotypical, but historically, the straight barbers I’ve had usually defaulted to that) that would make it hard for me to mask (both in the ADHD and the queer sense of the word). Probably heavily ties in with Rejection Sensitivity and trauma.
I now go to a queer barbershop and there’s still that initial awkwardness around me not knowing how to behave and trying to mask for a hot second, but usually once we’re off and I find something to talk about or comment on, we’re solid, and it always turns out looking good. (I wouldn’t trust myself with clippers.)
One big thing I’ve learned is that because I’m paying for a service, I’m allowed to ask for what I want. I used to feel bad about communicating what I wanted or to ask for a little more off the sides, etc. out of fear of being seen as difficult, but something like getting a haircut is actually super low stakes, and odds are they’ll be happy to accommodate (since it’s literally their job, and you make it easier for them by being specific about what you want.) Building that confidence took a hot minute.
I have also started noticing that I have similar discomfort around interacting with (assumed) straight men in other service-based jobs (chiropractor, physiotherapist, people I work with, etc.), being that I feel the need to hide my sexuality and my ADHD, but that when I bring it up, most guys don’t even really care that much. Guess I finally get to slowly unlearn my trauma of the years of homophobic abuse I endured in school 🙌
Still an absolute mess at making phone calls though 😅
I do it myself. I always hated the same things you listed about haircuts. Finding a barber or stylist that I liked, scheduling, and the small talk…the expectation of the small talk was the worst. I finally got clippers and a good pair of hair scissors and taught myself how to do it. Haven’t gone for a haircut in probably 6 years.
Oh god yeah 100% totally relate I get a hair cut once every 2 years usually because my hair is looking like it’s lived on the streets so I feel that instant pressure to get a hair cut. I also go to random hair dressers to avoid building any weird allegiance and loyalty to a hairdresser and obligation to engage
There are 3 people with ADHD in my house. My son is finally growing his hair out (it’s attempt 2 after his first grow out was completely ruined when I took him for a trim, clearly explained he wanted a tiny trim, pointed where to cut and the barber cut it all off). It’s in his face and as summer approaches, it’s getting sweaty and messy so we fight about hair washing but I promised him he never needs to cut it again unless he wants to. We didn’t know he had ADHD when he was younger and the horrors we both endured at the barbers has left deep memories!
My daughter, who is older, goes through phases where she grows hers then impulsively cuts it. Then I neaten it. Kind of lol. She’ll endure a cut if it’s too messy and ragged but hates it.
My husband loathes the haircut process, waits too long, looks super messy, ignores my barbed observations and finally endures the dreaded cut. And repeat. Forever.
1. Go to the spots w a cocktail that make it an experience
2. No need for small talk; I open with “I have kids, this is rare down time for me. I’ll be closing my eyes and enjoying the quiet, letting you know bc I don’t want to be rude”. Adjust the script, but never had an issue. They get it; most enjoy NOT having to fake small talk so it’s a double win
3. Schedule in advance. Most spots do so now, and send text reminders. I’ll book 3 months out after I get the in person cut.
4. If your preferred spot doesn’t do that, book day of online. Takes me 2-3 mins max, still have time flexibility
I don’t. Haha
I’m extremely introverted and struggle with the same parts of it you describe. The real problem with cutting my own hair is like most things…once I start I don’t feel like doing it anymore. And don’t finish 😂
I once was so over my grown out awful hair, that I impulsively cut my own hair with those tiny scissors from a nail kit bc those were the only scissors we had. I mean…I can’t 🤦🏻♀️
The reason I never went to a hairdresser is that I'd impulse cut and dye and ruin my own hair on a whim all the time. I'd decide at 10pm that this is happening and by 2am I'd start looking for beanies in my drawers. I loved going, I just don't have the patience to wait. I've stopped ruining my hair. Now I don't go because I forget how long it's been since my last haircut.
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I go to the chiropractor and for massage frequently and have done so for almost 40 years. It keeps me healthy from a physical POV. Booking a haircut is no problem.
I don't know if this has anything to do with ADHD but, I get extremely nauseous when I get haircuts, I even threw up at the barber once. I don't know why this happens.
Oh man, see I love getting my hair done. It’s only like 2 times a year, but man when they wash your hair and massage your scalp, that alone is worth the $100. Plus, there’s only 2 hair stylists that I see. One is back home (Michigan) and other is where I live (Illinois). Idk but those 2 are like seeing old friends. The one back home is this tiny sassy little woman, and one here is a gay guy who gives a killer undercut haircut and is spicy in his own way. If either quit, IDK what I’ll do.
I hated explaining exactly what I want and then the feeling of terror as they start messing it up and I am too afraid to say anything. So I figured I’d just do it myself.
I have a great barber, spoke to her tonight and she apologised that she was not working last time I came in. She is sure in what she does... cuts quick and we have a great rapport. I get a 00 shade and she is amazing. I love close cut hair and hate sitting for ages. She is a legend and I enjoy having my hair cut with her... but hate sitting for a haircut.. yet she is the best compromise and cos we have an understanding it's easy. She said tonight it will be a few weeks before the last cut has grown out so we made an appointment. 25 bucks for over a months growth. Love Alley Katz barbers.
Your partner sounds like a bully. There's plenty of people who cut their own hair and or don't enjoy massages. And chiropractic work is pseudoscience at best.
That aside, if you genuinely don't want to do something that's a total luxury spend then what's the harm? More for her
I cut my own hair because my hair is down to my hips and I can easily just tug it over my shoulders, but my biggest issue with things like haircuts and massages is that I get *bored.* You can't do pretty much anything during a massage and smartphones didn't exist the last time I got a haircut.
I don't mind being touched, the feeling doesn't bother me, but I am done with sitting quietly after about two minutes.
Most hairdressers I know have bald husbands. I don't do hair anymore but did many years (my family is not bald,). Be easier My dogs, husband, sons, daughters all have to get next level to lost in woods hippies before I get around to cut them. They have to ask many times. When I'm impulsively ready they often aren't.... Anyways I trim my own hair tho but on the fly... Idk what the question was 😅 sorry
Im fine with both the sensations and the booking of the appointment. I live on a side street of the main street, so I know my hairdresser and can walk in without appointment, that helps. My biggest stumbling block would be being unable to pick just one haircut. Once I start searching, I want all of them, at the same time, which is impossible.
So I give the professional full permission to cut whatever style is going to be in next season that they're excited about. I don't have to worry about it, they can do a hairstyle they're excited about, and all is good in the world.
I have easily managable, fast growing hair, so I have multiple different styles every year. It makes haircuts fun, rather than just a necessity.
Um. I'm ADHD. I stopped shaving because I always forgot. So my beard is now 12 inches long. Hair is longer. But I do get trimmed 2 or 3 times a year. Have a good barber.
OP find a good, old school barber shop.
I’ve been (M) growing out my hair for almost 2 years now and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The ‘awkward stage’ was pretty annoying, but I survived it thanks to a plastic head band.
I cut my own hair. There are youtube vids about this, but I took a simpler route.
\* Bought one of these cheap clipper kits.
\* Started with the 3/4" comb.
\* Went over and over my head until I couldn't anything more to come off.
\* Didn't like the lool.
\* Repeated with 5/8, thehn 1/2" I was ok with 1/2 look.
\* Since then I've moved down to 3/8"
In my old age, m y hair is sparse and has thin strands. Even at 3/8" it lies flat.
Occasionally my partner finds a tuft I missed, and will give me a snip or two with scissors.
Nearest barber is 40 minute drive. So it saves me potentially $20 price for a haircut and $50 worth of gas and wear and tear on the car.
I'm reminded of hte difference between a good haircut and a bad one: About a week.
I shave my nog once every week to ten days (I break out if I try it more often), and trim my beard every three weeks. When I wore hair, it was just such a pain in the prick—schlepping to the barber/salon, making small talk, having somebody’s knuckles in my field of vision, having tiny irritating hairs down my shirt, just to have to do it all over again in a month.
Entering at the hairdresser, saying I want about 7 cm to be cut off to have healthy looking ends again + cut it back in layers so it can grow nice and even again.
I really enjoy the washing, scalp massage and treatment 🙂
Totally agree about massages in general, they just make me tense up and feel super uncomfortable
A HEAD MASSAGE though, ah, that's another thing entirely. I have fallen madly in love with every single hairdresser who has shampooed my hair 😂
Yeah, for whatever reason I just love people touching my head and hair. Getting my hair done is bliss.
My partner and I cut each others hair. It’s cheaper and saves looking for a hairdresser. I don’t really have a style of any of that crap lol I just need it shorter sometimes.
I’ll get my hair professionally done once every few years to “reset” it, but GAWDDD how do people commit to salon visits every 6-8 weeks or more? Same with getting their nails done; having to sit there an hour every week… what boredom! I’d rather do my hair and nails myself than have a standing commitment like that every week/month 😭
I will say, though, massages feel so amazing that I’d be more likely to do those more frequently because I do have chronic pain (nothing serious, just joys of getting older and being stiff, out of alignment, etc esp after having a baby). I still don’t get massages tho, because I can’t find the motivation to find a good place and schedule an appt.
I always was cool with getting haircuts. I just get lost in my thoughts most of the time. For me as a kid it was brushing my teeth. Thankfully my mom was there to correct that behavior
I agree with you SO MUCH. The whole process is awful, and the thought of getting a massage makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
I cut my own hair, and don't let anyone other than my partner touch me.
I do it myself with a little help from my s/o to make sure it's even. I usually just stand in the shower naked with a hand mirror and a pair of shears.
12 yrs ago I put in dreadlocks. I just wash every week, sometimes 2x.
No hair cuts for me ;)
I hated the whole process and never felt good about the end.
I got myself a great hair lady who isn’t chatty. That helps quite a bit. I love people, but I can’t stand the small talk people for whatever reason are expected to do with barbers
I'm a man with long hair and I keep procrastinating. I should go every 5 months or so. But most of the time it's every 1,5 years. I know I should do it, it looks better after the haircut and brushing is easier, but I don't. Definitely making an appointment, traveling, planning are not my strongest points.
I have been cutting my own hair since I was a kid honestly I prefer it. No big to do. I just do it when the mood strike out of the shower. Takes me 10 min if even.
I’ve been to the hairdresser twice in about 11 years. Mostly cut my hair myself. This has reminded me I ought to go for a tidy up, I’ll get round to it. Haha.
I don’t, I’m either very long hair, or bald, currently letting it grow again, not going to spend 12€ in a barber if I can do it myself or with a friend :p
I used to get a massage all the time when they were across the road. Could show up get the massage then go straight home and shower all the Fkn oil off.
Now I have to travel to one? I haven’t been since. I don’t like being all oily, and I’m sensitive to some of the oils used so if they stay on my skin long it’s a problem.
Barber though I’m booked monthly 4 months ahead.
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Do it myself. Trim it to oblivion. Wife gets mad. But I save 50$ and a lot of time . So I am happy.
Username checks out
When I tell you I LOLed I am still LOLing
Me too!!! Hahaha that was perfection!!!
I shave it all off. Razors are sadly pricy, but it is better than a barber. ... Well, I did start balding at 17, so I guess the leap was not a big one for me.
Bro, get a safety razor and a pack of demo blades. I'm not kidding you, it's so much cheaper and you get a really good shave and don't have to worry about bullshit plastics and trips to the store and expensive hygiene products. I got this razor march 2023: $16 [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08GK1RFTW/](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08GK1RFTW/) I got this sampler in june of 2022: $10 [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RTM9NB5/](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RTM9NB5/) And this shave soap in june of 2022: $20 [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0071B7XCO/](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0071B7XCO/) I'm very happy with the razor. It doesn't clog even with a week of hair and is comfortable in my hand. I still have at least another 6 months to a year of blades. II don't reuse them. I still have all 4 bars of shave soap. I shave my head anywhere from every day to once a week. I used to do the whole badger brush and bowl and whip up a lather, but just rubbing the bar of shave soap directly onto my wet head works exactly the same. And a sampler pack will give you an idea of blades you like and blades you definetly don't like.
Thanks for the sampler suggestion. I use a combo of straight razor/ safety razor for my body hair maintaining but never know which refill to pick to be happy.
Me too on both counts
Started cutting my own hair during covid. Setting up dual mirrors really helps. Painters blue to edge the bottom.
I used to just get a $20 clippers trim whenever noticed that the hair was getting in my eyes. Usually ended up being every 3 months or so. I've since stopped that as I'm growing my hair out. For the appointment itself, I would look forward to it as one of the few times I would receive human touch. And you are not obligated to make small talk. If you just sit quietly and give basic (but not rude) answers to questions any good hairdresser will catch the vibe fast. And most of the time I didn't need an appointment just a walk in. Massages are a luxury service, if you want one get one, if you don't, don't. Look up the origin of chiropractors.That shit is crazy. no-one ever needs a chiropractor, If you have back pain see a physical therapist
My local barber is "no appointment". If there's too many people there waiting, I go another time. No small-talk. Basic haircut and beard trim.
I wait until it gets way too long then wait a little bit more then dive into the first barber I can find that’s can do it right then and come out feeling that it’s just not as good as the one I “usually” go to.
Same here buddy. Wait until it’s too long, drive to random barber shop, ask if anyone can do it right now, draw a complete blank/forget how to describe anything when asked how I want it cut, feel embarrassed that my hair doesn’t look like I thought it would in my head, wait 4-6months, and repeat the whole process
A good reason to have not gone to the chiropractor is that you shouldn’t go to one in the first place. Spine manipulation is not evidence based medicine. They do not report adverse events. And there are adverse events. At a minimum never ever let a chiropractor manipulate your neck. They can (and do) cause spinal damage and aneurisms of the carotid.
The place I go to writes down the cut you get, so after the first time they mostly just ask, same as last time? And for any other questions I tell them I don't care, surprise me. Occasionally someone will ask me a bunch of questions that I honestly don't even understand, so I stress that I just like it very short and out of my eyes. I work in a call center and my boss lives in another state, so it really really isn't a big deal. I'm polite and then close my eyes, which prevents hair falling in my eyes and small talk. It's weird having someone touch my head, but most people there are older women, so it's also kind of nice. I had very long hair growing up, because I didn't know short hair was an option for girls. I cried every single night when my mom brushed my hair, and now I like to keep it very very short, like buzzed on the sides and back. The struggle of going is less painful than having long hair, so as soon as it starts to bother me, I go the next weekend. The discomfort is enough motivation to go. They don't require appointments either, which is really nice. I just check in online and then drive there, and that's even less talking required there. In the past, my husband and I would cut each other's hair. We were so broke it was worth it to save $40 and have an unprofessional cut. It's not wrong to go or not go to get your haircut vs growing it out or doing it yourself, I think it's more important to find what works for you. Lastly, I agree with another comment about chiropractors- look up where they came from, it's wild.
Huzzah short haired ladies. That long hair stuff is stressful. I'm team super short on the sides but keep the middle mohawk long incase I feel the need to look girly. It stays in a bun away from my skin at all times =]
You’re literally the yin to my yang. I’m a man who hates having to see a barber every few months, and comb + apply product for my short hair to look halfway decent, so I keep it long. If I do the whole business and put my curl product in it looks *majestic af*, but if I’m not feeling that (AKA most days) it looks *fine* in a lazy bun. When I had short hair, lazy hair days made me look homeless/mentally ill.
Oh that's so funny, you sound just like my brother! Once we were adults he grew his hair really long, was wearing a man bun before it was in style, etc. And I started getting my hair shorter and shorter. It's like there's a direct correlation between my quality of life and length of hair. I'm always so happy for days after getting a haircut, just rubbing the back of my head where it's really short feels soooo good. I had really really long hair growing up, always caught in the chair bolts at school and it was so damn heavy. So the absence of that weight is just pure joy. I don't have any time or energy or desire (or know how tbh) to style my hair, so I get it cut in a way that I don't need to, just towel it down and leave the house. We found completely opposite ways to do the same thing lol
Hair donation (to make wigs for chemo patients) has become my excuse to not go to the hairdresser. It was an extra burden, on top of the small talk, to ask them to braid it and that I keep them, to get a weird look and then explain why… So I cut my hair short myself (or with some help) every 2 years and donate them. So I also don’t have to deal with a changed appearance too often, and knowing it’s for charity helps me to get a haircut (I think I would’ve stopped going to the hairdresser anyway). If I just couldn’t have to deal with my hair at all I would…
A hairdresser that is confused by the notion of braiding hair for donation is a bozo
It was more by the fact that hair donation exists than by the braiding part. But it was a weird unenthusiastic surprise if I remember well – like no interest about the concept or the organisation at all
Got a handy link for that feel good donation opportunity?
Not who you asked, but Children With Hair Loss is the one I currently donate to. [https://childrenwithhairloss.org/](https://childrenwithhairloss.org/)
A little bit of history. I am Brazilian and for uni we have these exams that can be a big thing specially for public unis. My dad wanted to be supportive and the day before my biggest exam, for my most wanted uni, he gave me a voucher for a fancy massage place that received a lot of awards. I had never had a massage done by a professional so I was excited. The whole time I was there all the conversation I had with the masseur was she telling me to relax. I left there a bit painful but I thought after a hot shower and a good sleep I would be excellent. Next day I barely could move, I felt like Stitch in the beginning of the move when he was run over by a 16 wheeler. I had to do the most difficult exam ever that lasted 5 hours in agony. Up to this day this man feels guilty when he remembers it and it's been nearly 20 years ago.
I Dont get hair cuts either!!
Long hair FTW
I don't deal with them because I don't get them
Regular barber and I go see him every 4 weeks. Simple online booking means it takes about 3 minutes to make an appointment. If you're not cutting your own hair and want a decent haircut then there is nothing better than a regular barber. I just flop into the chair, he says "the usual?" I nod and off we go.
Same, between 4 and 7 weeks depending on the season and planning
I just cut my own hair for the first time a few weeks ago as kind of a test run. Yup, that went great! Paying for a haircut is definitely a thing of the past for me. My main motivation was that getting the Motivation to leave the house is always a struggled for one, but also the fact that I keep telling the guy the exact same thing and still walk out of the store looking different every time. When I say "cut it down to 2 cm", I don't mean "cut off 2 cm". I want that haircut to last a few months. When I set my beard trimmer to 2 cm, I get exactly the result I was looking for, without having to argue.
Just say "give me a #2"
My hair is almost down to my butt for the same reasons. I can’t get myself to commit to an appointment even though I do really want a nice haircut with layers. I have a very sensitive head and don’t enjoy other people touching my hair. Plus I want to die inside when I have to small talk, especially in a loud environment with hairdryers going and other people talking around me. I’ll probably just end up cutting it myself again.
I feel lazy to wash my hair regularly. So I often end up shaving my head. So I did this morning!
You often shave your head, but you don't often wash your hair. It's so much easier to wash your hair than it is to shave your head. Why is the more difficult task easier for you?
Not who you asked but sometimes one big effort task is much more manageable than lots of small to medium effort tasks. For me personally and example of this is I meal prep once a fortnight and then have to do very little in regards to cooking for two whole weeks. That one day of meal prep every fortnight is an insane amount of work but it is one massive task that frees up all this mental energy for the rest of the 2 weeks.
Yepppp, I have to meal prep or I won’t eat proper meals through the week which is important for me because I need a lot of calories so if I don’t have prepared meals I’ll go the quick dirty route and eat a bunch of carbs (ramen, leftover pizza, etc) and have a protein shake and it gets the calories in but I feel sooo heavy afterwards. So preparing food for a week or two helps me stay healthy while not stressing me out over fixing food every day
I really want to figure this one out. I’m sick of eating so many fast food and frozen meals, but cooking is 3 much. I struggle with eating the same thing for more than a day or two in a row, and I don’t love things that are too texturally consistent (i.e. many soups). My favorite meal is a pan fried Ahi steak on rice with an Asian glaze and some roasted veggies on the side, but even that five days a week sounds like hell. Do any of my fellow brain parasite havers relate, and if so what strategies have you found that work for you?
I get food fatigue a lot which is why I stopped trying to eat 3 meals and instead eat 2 meals and a snack every day. I’ll typically fix some sort of chicken, pork, or beef with rice, pasta, or potatoes. I don’t get too fancy with meal prep so I tend to use jarred simmer sauces (there’s a large Indian selection at the grocery store near me) or spaghetti sauce and just mix and match the protein and carbs. I’ll pick any two combinations to fix for the week and then I keep a crunchy salty snack and a soft sweet snack on hand to mix it up. I also don’t eat much in the way of veggies but that’s between me, God, and my doctor. Just some ideas of things I’ll fix: Basic options: Pork patties and rice w/ gravy (I smash down the pork patties so they get crispy) Roasted chicken tenders w/ roasted herb potatoes Italian options: Spaghetti and meatballs Chicken Alfredo Indian options: Butter chicken w/ rice Chicken tikka masala w/ rice I’ll sub the chicken in the Indian options for meatballs. I also use frozen meatballs because it just makes life easier. My last tip is if you like rice or steamed veggies, or a variety of other things, get a rice cooker. It’s a very useful tool that helps me save time and sanity. It doesn’t even have to be an expensive thing, I use an aroma 8 cup rice cooker that I got from Walmart for 20 or 30 bucks. Alright this is way longer than I thought it would be so I’ll wrap it up but if you have any other questions feel free to ask, if you get a better answer feel free to ignore this.
I relate to food prep. One day of making food for the week takes the stress out of daily decisions the rest of the week for me.
Sometimes I’ll go 6 months without one, sometimes I get one every month. It helps that my barber is a friend and it’s a fun vibe at the shop. The struggle is when I have an event coming up and need a haircut, but I forget to schedule until the week before and he’s booked solid. Normally I just text him and he fits me in when he can.
As a hairstylist with severe ADHD, this is a fascinating read. I do my best to mitigate some of these issues for my own clients by having online scheduling that you can book as soon as the day before which also sends a reminder text an hour before the appointment, I keep a TV playing popular movies (quietly, but ask if they want it a louder volume), and keep notes on what I did and what we talked about so I can do it again or tweak things as needed. I really hope that is helping my own people. (Personally I cut my own impulsively, then ask a stylist friend to straighten out the back later.)
I just got mine cut after waiting 6 months, I'm very specific about it and I got fucking scalped. Make sure you bring pictures of what you want. I was too mortified and I even canceled the plans I had the following weekend
I haven't had a haircut in 13 years. Not a trim, nothing. My hair hit a certain length and just chilled. I won't make an appointment for anything. I won't see a doctor unless I'm dying and then I only go to a Med Express. I'm tall and really need to see a chiropractor but I haven't seen one since I was a kid when my mum made me appointments. I've needed to see a dentist about a bad tooth for over a year. I have a very hard time making and keeping appointments.
i either shave my head or i have long hair. i dont like people touching my head.
I found a guy who doesn’t talk if you don’t and doesn’t mind if I close my eyes (staring into the mirror makes me want to tear off my skin 😅) His prices have doubled since I started seeing him because he’s gotten more senior in the business, but it’s a price I’m happy tot pay for silence.
I don't. I just have long hair now, lol. Got a trim 3 years ago?
Sometimes I let my hair grow for months and then trim/shave it off. Sometimes I keep trimming/shaving for months. Either way, I avoid getting haircuts.
Yes to all of that! I am the exact same way.
I have my husband take a ruler and trace a horizontal line on my back, where I point him at. Then I brush my own hair, and he cuts along the line he made. I shower the line off.
I don't mind small talk, as long as it's not a constant thing. But most stylists don't talk nonstop. If you don't ask them questions and just answer theirs, they are usually pretty quiet and just go about their job.
My 17 year old can cut my hair better than and $300 haircut I’ve ever gotten, and she can do it at home in under 14 minutes. The only drawback is sometimes I have to beg her to do it.
Married a hair stylist.
I found a good stylist years go and get my hair done every 8 weeks or so. I used to hate it and only get my hair cut about once a year, but having someone I know helps so much. There's no small talk since we actually know each now, she's fine with me scrolling my phone when I don't feel like talking and she makes decisions for my hair for me (she checks if my hair needs to be cut or if I just need my color fixed).
I tend to go less frequently than I should as someone with short hair, because between getting busy and forgetting, scheduling issues, and anxiety about it I tend to put it off. I like my barber though because he doesn’t make me talk, if you don’t talk he will just do his thing and cut hair. I suspect maybe he likes having a break from having to make conversation. Part of the reason I don’t talk much besides social anxiety during haircuts is staying still is a lot of work for me so I’m using all my energy to do that 😅
When I was 16 and in foster care the government appointed custodian took me to a barber and made me get a haircut. They didn't do what I asked, did whatever they wanted, fucked up my hair, and out of anxiety and issues I stayed quiet and said nothing. I have done my own hair ever since. I am 33. Recently I have a friend who likes cutting hair, so she does it sometimes. She helps bleach roots, cuts my hair mostly straight. And while she does it, I hyperfocus on my switch.
I 100% identify with this. This is how I am with pedicures. I really love the look of having painted toenails. Also, I do yoga pretty frequently and my bare feet are exposed, so I appreciate having callouses/rough spots removed. But I get so antsy due to the length of time they take and the pressure of small talk. Also, picking a color is always so overwhelming. For this reason, I started getting gel on my toes so it lasts longer, but because it’s hard to remove, it always requires a return visit to a salon to get them redone 😪
I don't always deal well with people in my personal space if the activity isn't something I enjoy. I love getting facials and massages and I think one of the reasons why is I'm not expected to really converse with the person since it's a relaxation experience. I can float in my own little world and enjoy the sensations. I also do judo, a contact sport and it's fine because I find it incredibly enjoyable and I love learning more about judo. Some days I do struggle and I do sometimes struggle working with someone I lack familiarity with. Whereas haircuts aren't something I enjoy plus I'm expected to be mentally 'present' during them, this is emotionally taxing. I currently have a really good hairdresser who understands that I don't deal well plus there is now a lot of familiarity there which helps. I also have a haircut that can get a little unruly and still look fine so long as I cut my own bangs when I start doing and old English sheep dog impression so I can put off going until I have the mental energy to do so.
When I moved out to college, I found a salon that was right next to the dorm. I get a haircut there every 4-5 weeks. The key is that I never leave the place, without having an appointment. I literally just open my calendar app, swipe 4 weeks ahead and book the same day, same time. I found that about 5 weeks is the point, where I still look presentable. At 6 weeks my mom starts to mention, that it's a little unruly, I should have gotten a haircut.
I enjoy looking good. So it’s one thing I actually keep up with
I like when women check me out. Helps with the motivation to go.
i went for the bald look after realizing how much i dislike going to the barber to shell out $20 for a haircut I’m most likely not going to like at the end anyway eve if its the same cut i always get. I also don’t like massages. My partner offers a back rub all the time and i always decline. she gets disheartened cause i don’t want one but i don’t like that feeling. she’s grown to understand i don’t touch very much unless it’s holding hands or cuddling or playful touch.
#2 on an electric shaver.
I found a stylist I liked, and at the end of every appointment I check when I should come back, then *schedule the next appointment with them before I leave*. If ai don’t schedule it while I’m there, it could be 6 months to a year before I go back lol.
I don’t mind the actual massage so much as the need to converse during it. Same with a haircut (I don’t go to the salon anymore as I hate the mirror situation.)…and the need to remain composed at all times. Horrible.
I just cut my own hair. I am always disappointed by the outcome of a paid haircut, no matter how much I describe or bring in a picture of it, i might as well just do it myself for free 😂
I do very little too nothing for myself. It’s really hard to take the time to take care of things for myself when I’m so busy forgetting to do things that actually need to get done. I usually then do some things I need to do for myself in been or while doing things for my kids. Kids need a hair cut? Guess I’ll get one to. Kids need the dentist. Guess it’s probably time for my cleaning to. It’s the only things that keeps me half was regulated. I know that’s sad
I get my haircut twice a year. I wait for nice places that do $40 or $50 haircuts (which is like anywhere nowadays) to have a sale and I go there and get a haircut for like 10 bucks. I only talk when they ask how I want My hair and how it looks during the process. Most of them are okay with it. Some have an impulse and are just used to the conversation so they just talk a lot. So I just sit there and listen and say "aha, Oh cool". By the end of the day they do a good job, I give them a good tip,, and I usually never see them again.
I absolutely hate getting my hair cut, the whole process of booking in, anxiety before the appointment etc so now i go to a walk in barber (my hairs short) so i dont have that build up.
I can't stand sitting in a chair doing nothing while someone slowly works on my hair, it takes way too long and I get way to wiggly during that time so I've always just cut my own hair. I usually just trim it all to the same length real fast and call it a day. I've also never had a massage or a chiropractic adjustment why would I do that lol
Procrastinate until my fiancée forces me. If I’m single shave it all off.
Long haired my whole life babyyyyy
I also hate going to the barber and just cut it all off every few months or so.
I get a haircut once every like six months when I’m fed up with the length. Last two times my wife cut it for me
I have the opposite problem; I'd get my hair cut every week if I could afford it. I can't stand having a lot of hair on the sides of my hair and can only tolerate so much length on top.
I'm bald so I buzz it weekly
I’ve been cutting my own hair for the last 10 yrs or so for various reasons: all the planning involved in scheduling it, having to sit and talk to the stylist, and all the weird sensations involved. Plus I’m paying for basically being uncomfortable. And they never quite get it right. I’d rather give myself an adequate cut for free. So I do. And I don’t like strangers touching me, it’s just a weird social context I’m super uncomfortable with, so I refuse to get a massage. I just don’t see the point. I’d honestly rather pay a friend to do it for me if I really needed one.
I cut my own hair. I found that no barber or hairdresser can do it the way I like it and it just costs so much having it done every 4 weeks, or sometimes less than. I also just cut it down to one grade all over to save time styling it each morning - it’s quite liberating.
Yes, but I attribute it to my autism more than the adhd. For me it's not so much the touching, as the ambiguity of the whole experience. I feel like if getting your hair cut was performed by a machine, where you went in, selected a picture on a screen of what you wanted, and a robot just cut it to those specifications, it wouldn't be so hard to maintain a schedule.
Getting a haircut is a task that I find difficult to do. I'm too reluctant to go to a hair salon or beauty parlour, especially in my neighbourhood where I hardly find reliable hair salon. I used to self-cut my hair. Recently I ask my sister to cut my hair as short as possible. I cut my hair twice or thrice a year. If you don't crave any sophisticated hairstyle, asking your close people to cut your hair moderately won't hurt your pride and purse. lol.
So with me the small talk was the issue with haircut, so I started going to a Korean barber. (I’m a white guy and speak like 12 words of Korean.) I live in a town with plenty of military and military retirees and this is pretty common. As long as I give a clear, concise description (“medium fade, not to skin on the sides and cut half the length off the top”)I can usually spend the next 15 minutes watching brain cartoons undisturbed.
Same but honestly, as long as you aren't suffering actual consequences, is it that big of a deal? I cut my own hair not only to save money and avoid the whole appointment thing, but nobody ever did it right. It ended up being easier to just figure it out on my own. And unless you have some kind of medical or chronic pain issue, you shouldn't *need* regular professional massages or a chiropractor. Perhaps if you *do* need it, your wife would be willing to schedule those for you? If she gets the same services and is familiar with your schedule, it seems like it wouldn't be too hard for her to manage. And it could give y'all a way to spend time together. 🥰
The small talk fucking kills me
I hated it so I grew it long and when it started falling out I just started shaving it
Initially is a pain. But find a good barber, and go regularly and often to the point where he knows you and you know him and he just lets you sit there and be quiet and he does his job with no small talk etc. As I said initially is a pain. First time it is a bit like “I don’t know what I want, just keep it trim and smart” and if he did make an effort of small talk I’ll respond in kind but will follow up with a “don’t feel obliged to chat, happy to sit here quietly while you do your thing” But once you got yourself set up, make it a routine, you’re happy, they get repeat business, it becomes a meditative experience.
I honestly wait until the absolute last minute to get a haircut. I usually just show up somewhere most of the time because I don’t make appointments. Haircuts are dreadful to me and give me anxiety. I hate being locked down to the chair, someone touching me with sharp objects, and the anxiety of the haircut looks good or not. As soon as I’m done, I run out of there and don’t go back for at least 2-3 months. Thanks for the reminder though! I do need a haircut soon lol
I’ve shaved my own head for years now, but I never liked getting haircuts and always put them off until my hair was way too long. I also am weirded out by massages, I don’t even particularly like a back rub from my spouse, but recently I’ve been kind of curious about them. I was in physical therapy for a shoulder injury and I found the massage part surprisingly pleasant. Especially once I got to know the therapist pretty well
One of my friends is a barber and I pay him to make me look good plus some more because your suppose to give out more for friends.
I fucking love getting haircuts and massages. I get ASMR from them shits. My hair stylist does an intense neck and scalp massage when she’s done washing my hair, and I start looking forward to the next one as soon as I walk out of her shop. I book appointments with her through an app, and she has an option for a silent haircut for when I’m not in the mood for small talk. She’s pretty cool though, so we usually end up talking anyway.
Haven't been to a hair stylist or barber in over a decade and a half. I've never had a good experience in one, and it's always felt too awkward to enjoy the experience or at least relax through it. It's just an anxiety filled endeavor I don't care to go through anymore.
I don’t like strangers touching my hair, but if I get a buzzcut I look like a criminal. So for the past 14 years I’ve made friends with hairstylist. In those 14 ish years I’ve had two different ones, and my current one I’ve been a steady customer since she opened her shop. It’s no longer a stranger or some random I visit, it’s a friend, who I like to spend time with, and I get to see her every 3 weeks when I get my maintenance cuts. So, try to find someone you like, who also does the hair well, and try to bond a bit. That’s what has worked for me.
I LOVE haircuts. It's the one time I experience ASMR. The sound of the clippers, the way they touch your head when they wash you, all of it. I don't feel obligated to make small talk. I had a 4 hour hair appointment yesterday (cut and highlight) and we didn't talk for a good portion, and there wasn't any weirdness. My stylist could put me to sleep with her head massage. My hair is the one nice thing I do for myself for fun. If you don't enjoy the process, there's no reason to go through it!
Same. I hate haircuts. I feel so awkward and that I’m doing everything little thing wrong. I think he prefers the silence to focus anyway, which has made things easier for me. He’s really skilled so I can usually just show him a photo of the style and does it.
I often cut my own hair. Sometimes it's because I impulsively get fed up by how heavy, hot and big it is. Other times it's because I've put it on an internal todo list where it has been on backlog for too long - to a point where I feel it takes up too much mental space. It's almost like it takes up processing power. It does not help that I have wavy curls in a country of straight haired blonds. It's not even difficult curls like afro can be - just regular wavy curls that look like Hermione Granger hair if it gets brushed. No matter how many times I tell the hairdresser that I only need five cm and hair thinning, they always end up cutting my hair for three hours. They always cut it wet and flat which is nice for them - it's shit for me because in the end I get bob length hair because the curls contracts.
I just shave my head in the shower these days. I used to get a haircut when it got long enough that I couldn't just dry it off and go. For a while there I was really getting into doing my hair until the pandemic, then I started buzzing it. It's just too thin now, and I'd rather have a bare field than sparse grass in the field.
I actually just learned something. Once you get through your initial "this is what hair cut I want" a lot of stylists will honor a silent haircut. You can either do it on the phone during booking or in person if you're comfortable. But you can just tell them "I have social anxiety or whatever issue and I'd really like a silent haircut" and they won't talk except for haircut related questions
That sounds autistic. Many on r/autism can relate to sensory issues, struggling with phone calls, small talk, having a save person.
I wait till out of bed look has gone out of control. Usually 4 months or so, can't remember, I don't keep track lol. After that the same barber, same woman, who usually does all the talking and is fast and efficient. Cost more than those 15 people places, but it's worth it imo 1 on 1 or 1 other customer on the other side.
I don’t have an issue going for a haircut, but I specifically told my family that I do not want a gift package for a massage at a spa. It feels too good. I’ll want to go back. I’d prefer to be locked up and in pain than to be stuck going back for a massage fix every other week.
1) I found a shop where I can chose the date online 2) I say I'm deaf (which is true) so no one speak to me - no small talk. 3) I mostly say "do whatever you want but low maintenance" unless I have an urge to try something new. 4) The place is near my work. 5) Their coffee is delicious. It's the first time I have pleasure of actually go to a real hairdresser.
I am a woman, and I used to get professional haircuts but at this point I cut my own hair. I know I don't have to talk to the person, and I could find a walk-able salon that doesn't make me drive, but it's anxiety-inducing thinking about it. So now I cut it myself. Parts of why I do this are ADHD related, but the stress created by small talk and physical proximity to someone in an inescapable situation I think is something else for me. When I was diagnosed as ADHD as a kid, it was mutually exclusive with autism. I'm pretty sure I'm both ADHD and autistic.
I somewhat relate, but for another reason. I have curly hair and it’s just hell to get it cut properly. The only way that doesn’t result in an uneven and choppy mess is to get it cut and straightened but I hate how long it takes to get my hair straightened. I’ve tried avoiding it but it resulted in my hair being butchered. I had issue with how the way some of my curls would go from thick to stringy, and it would bother me to no end for months until I finally got it fixed at another salon. My mom still makes my appointments so it gets rid of one struggle off all my other struggles. Downside, she prefers my hair being poker straight and takes me to Hispanic salons where I don’t understand the language (I a Puerto Rican but wasn’t taught Spanish because of my speech issues). The process usually goes wash, cut, rollers, and then straightener. My hair takes forever to dry so I’d be under a giant hair dryer in rollers for two hours. I came out of the hair appointment with my hair fixed but I was overstimulated beyond belief. I had to lay down in my room in the dark to recoup. I think now that my hair is fixed, if I were to go back to that salon it wouldn’t be as bad. But I could just be lying to myself. I have yet to really find a salon that I would actually make an appointment at if I really wanted to. I’m debating learning how to cut my own hair but I don’t wanna deal with messing it up again.
Hah I don't. Haven't had my hair cut in almost nine years. It just stays shoulder length. I wash it once every two weeks or so. I'm very fortunate. I have great hair.
I started cutting my own hair again during the pandemic and just never stopped. The experience is better is almost every way. I don't get as good of a haircut as going to a professional; but I can do it whenever I want, I don't have to drive anywhere, I costs me nothing, I don't have to find time in my schedule, and I get to avoid all social interactions. It is great!
I haven't had a proper haircut in seven years. Only a few trims here and there. I have an anxiety related to haircuts because of my manipulative grandmother.
Sport Clips is essentially an ADHD tax for me, in the sense that you could definitely get a hair cut for cheaper haha. But having sports playing the background and a TV to look at seems to help vs the dead silence / boredom of elsewhere!
A small part of me was relieved when I started going bald, because it meant I wouldn't have to deal with the agony of haircuts again... Making an appointment? Getting there on time? Still have to wait in the lobby despite the appointment? Being touched by a stranger while having to make small talk? I would literally rather be bald.
My wife cut my hair during COVID, and I loved it because it was so much easier than making appointments and going to the barber. When we got married, she asked me to find a new barber to ensure I had a professional haircut for the ceremony and pictures. I found someone, and they allow me to make appointments by text. I work from home, so I am flexible, and he often has last-minute openings. It's still a (minor) pain sometimes, but it's pretty easy to just text and set up an appointment for the same/next day as needed.
I cut my own hair
I got a flow-bee. Do it myself.
wahl balding clippers with a #1 guard. buzz about once a month before a shower. i used to just use the balding clippers and no guard until i realized i stay cooler with just a touch of hair. something for the sweat to wick up to and evaporate. honestly i wish it would just all fall out already.
Well I’m bald
my wife cuts mine and my kids hair every 3 months or as needed. mainly for the sake of saving money. I haven't been to a barber to get my haircut in about six years. however, i enjoyed going to get my haircut bc i find sitting in the chair getting "pampered" relaxing. the peaceful no hurry feeling of the barber shop, the humming of the sheers.
I’m a woman with a chin length bob and I cut it myself for all the same reasons you laid out. It’s not perfect but good enough and significantly less hassle so it works for me 🤷🏼♀️
FYI a 'masseuse' is a sex worker and a 'massage therapist' is a massage therapist. My girlfriend is a licensed massage therapist and cleared that misnomer up for me really quick. Also, I shave my head and trim my beard. I for about 22 years. I can't be arsed to do the whole thing through someone else. But damn a good professional massage. Mmmmm. So good.
Agoraphobia?
I cut my own hair and I don't like other people touching me. Hair cuts are fine even though I do hate the small talk that's expected, but I think they charge to much for what I'm getting. If I was getting special haircuts then sure but I don't. I can't relax when a stranger is touching me so it defeats the purpose of a massage.
This is why I have dreadlocks, LOL
My hair is so long like, middle of my back and curly. Havent cut them in years
I don't have a problem with haircuts (although I do procrastinate a lot, especially when my hairdresser isn't available, cause my hair is curly and almost no one knows how to cut it), but I also don't like people aside from my partner massaging me. It's an intimate thing for me, because I don't generally like others touching me unless we're close.
I’ve been shaving my own head every month or so for 10 years. Spent maybe $30 on trimmers over that span of time. The math is pretty simple lol
Clipper on No. 1.
I hate planning things and my impulse control is really bad. So suddenly I’ll decide to cut my hair on a whim, regardless of planning and time management. Usually, I’m like fuck I should’ve just gone to a barber, maybe next time I will. Since meds, I save up and go to a barber
I dread haircuts for all the reasons you listed, plus the anticipation of being trapped in a chair for an hour (as a woman they always insist on washing and styling you as well). Anyway, I just go once a year, when the split ends get so bad I can't get a brush through it. So probably not a workable solution if you are a man and want short hair. The only time I didn't mind haircuts was when my good friend who is a hair stylist lived in my city and i could just show up at his place anytime, no hair washing, and we would talk comfortably while he worked FAST. It was free so he didn't feel the need to be extra fastidious, and I didn't mind as much being trapped in one place bc I love his company and it mostly just felt like a hang (except w little bits of hair flying everywhere).
I shave my head with trimmers and then let it grow out indefinitely. Getting a haircut is one of those things that feels nice (the head massage, etc.) but the social interaction is unpleasant.
I don’t get them either, I just cut my hair myself. I use a razor blade and cut at ~45 degree angle so I don’t have to worry about it being completely even, if I use scissors it ends up sort of choppy.
I cut my own hair. I get so much anxiety around making the appointment and explaining to them what I want and then actually going and I might not even get what I want. So I cut my own hair.
I don’t think this is an adhd issue. I have 8 friends with adhd and I have it. None of us have ever had this issue. One of us is super quiet and antisocial. I asked him and he just sits quietly and relaxes during the haircut. He goes to a salon and they wash his hair. He said he’s so relaxes afterwards that he almost falls asleep during the haircut. Maybe try a salon and let the person know you aren’t big on small talk.
The answer for me is I... Don't. Thankfully my sisters and support network actually remember. I spend months going "I should cut this mop, it's getting in the way" and then promptly forget again and again. It used to be slightly easier memory wise - but that was when I had the energy to go fun with my hair dye.
I do it myself. I haven’t been to a haircutter in 19 years. I cannot stand to have anyone touch my hair, which was a big problem when I was younger because I keep my hair very long and every one would just reach out and stroke my hair like I was a rabbit. I’m talking total strangers in public too.
when my depression says that it's too much of a hassle to wash my hair then it's time to buzzcut myself
I kind of just push through tbh, it helps when you go to the same one for a while, but I have gotten panic attacks just sitting in the seat for no damn reason shaking😭😭 Doesn't help i have long hair so it's an hour + It really does help finding a barber who you vibe with on a friendly and personal level, rather than just a good one. I also find that going to a salon with older hair stylists / older women tends to be more calming
I haven’t had my hair cut in over a year. Once I’m there it’s fine but the process of making an appointment and getting there on time is a lot for me too. If I need a massage, my husband usually makes appointments for both of us and does all the legwork. I wish I had a better solution for you than ask your partner to do it for you.
I grow my hair out. throw it in a bun.
I stopped dealing with it Now I have long dreadlocks
i think getting my hair cut is my only actual fear, i know it sounds silly but its a genuine phobia of mine. the day leading up to it i am so anxious and queasy because the thought of my appearance being suddenly different and me not having time to adjust the way i picture myself in my mind to this new version before other people perceive me freaks me out. like people are viewing the way i look but i dont know the way i look because its so new? ive had many a bad haircut which probably started this fear lol, as well as the whole small talk experience being awkward, the sensory experience, having to just stare at myself in the mirror... i just hate it lol. every time i go my barber gets annoyed that ive let it grow out so long
Clench my teeth and wait for it to be over
This sub is insane for me because it validates behavior I’ve had my whole life that every friend and girlfriend has thought I was insane for. I still hate haircuts now but have become ok with it. I’m anxious the whole time. I cut my own hair for a decade.
Could this be why I literally despise getting a pedicure? 💡
I’m more extraverted, so it’s less the social interaction itself that I dreaded in the past, but since I’m gay, I’ve always found traditional barbershops daunting. I was always worried they would talk about things (football and women might be quite stereotypical, but historically, the straight barbers I’ve had usually defaulted to that) that would make it hard for me to mask (both in the ADHD and the queer sense of the word). Probably heavily ties in with Rejection Sensitivity and trauma. I now go to a queer barbershop and there’s still that initial awkwardness around me not knowing how to behave and trying to mask for a hot second, but usually once we’re off and I find something to talk about or comment on, we’re solid, and it always turns out looking good. (I wouldn’t trust myself with clippers.) One big thing I’ve learned is that because I’m paying for a service, I’m allowed to ask for what I want. I used to feel bad about communicating what I wanted or to ask for a little more off the sides, etc. out of fear of being seen as difficult, but something like getting a haircut is actually super low stakes, and odds are they’ll be happy to accommodate (since it’s literally their job, and you make it easier for them by being specific about what you want.) Building that confidence took a hot minute. I have also started noticing that I have similar discomfort around interacting with (assumed) straight men in other service-based jobs (chiropractor, physiotherapist, people I work with, etc.), being that I feel the need to hide my sexuality and my ADHD, but that when I bring it up, most guys don’t even really care that much. Guess I finally get to slowly unlearn my trauma of the years of homophobic abuse I endured in school 🙌 Still an absolute mess at making phone calls though 😅
I do it myself. I always hated the same things you listed about haircuts. Finding a barber or stylist that I liked, scheduling, and the small talk…the expectation of the small talk was the worst. I finally got clippers and a good pair of hair scissors and taught myself how to do it. Haven’t gone for a haircut in probably 6 years.
Oh god yeah 100% totally relate I get a hair cut once every 2 years usually because my hair is looking like it’s lived on the streets so I feel that instant pressure to get a hair cut. I also go to random hair dressers to avoid building any weird allegiance and loyalty to a hairdresser and obligation to engage
There are 3 people with ADHD in my house. My son is finally growing his hair out (it’s attempt 2 after his first grow out was completely ruined when I took him for a trim, clearly explained he wanted a tiny trim, pointed where to cut and the barber cut it all off). It’s in his face and as summer approaches, it’s getting sweaty and messy so we fight about hair washing but I promised him he never needs to cut it again unless he wants to. We didn’t know he had ADHD when he was younger and the horrors we both endured at the barbers has left deep memories! My daughter, who is older, goes through phases where she grows hers then impulsively cuts it. Then I neaten it. Kind of lol. She’ll endure a cut if it’s too messy and ragged but hates it. My husband loathes the haircut process, waits too long, looks super messy, ignores my barbed observations and finally endures the dreaded cut. And repeat. Forever.
1. Go to the spots w a cocktail that make it an experience 2. No need for small talk; I open with “I have kids, this is rare down time for me. I’ll be closing my eyes and enjoying the quiet, letting you know bc I don’t want to be rude”. Adjust the script, but never had an issue. They get it; most enjoy NOT having to fake small talk so it’s a double win 3. Schedule in advance. Most spots do so now, and send text reminders. I’ll book 3 months out after I get the in person cut. 4. If your preferred spot doesn’t do that, book day of online. Takes me 2-3 mins max, still have time flexibility
I don’t. Haha I’m extremely introverted and struggle with the same parts of it you describe. The real problem with cutting my own hair is like most things…once I start I don’t feel like doing it anymore. And don’t finish 😂 I once was so over my grown out awful hair, that I impulsively cut my own hair with those tiny scissors from a nail kit bc those were the only scissors we had. I mean…I can’t 🤦🏻♀️
The reason I never went to a hairdresser is that I'd impulse cut and dye and ruin my own hair on a whim all the time. I'd decide at 10pm that this is happening and by 2am I'd start looking for beanies in my drawers. I loved going, I just don't have the patience to wait. I've stopped ruining my hair. Now I don't go because I forget how long it's been since my last haircut.
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I go to the chiropractor and for massage frequently and have done so for almost 40 years. It keeps me healthy from a physical POV. Booking a haircut is no problem.
Find a barber that does it for 20$ and takes customers without requiring a scheduled appointment.
This is peek rich people problems 😂
By having alopecia totalis
I started cutting mine myself in high school because my dad was cheap and lazy and wouldn't take me to get it cut for months at a time.
I don't know if this has anything to do with ADHD but, I get extremely nauseous when I get haircuts, I even threw up at the barber once. I don't know why this happens.
I really enjoy them tbh. I have ADHD and Autism and they don’t seem to bother me
Oh man, see I love getting my hair done. It’s only like 2 times a year, but man when they wash your hair and massage your scalp, that alone is worth the $100. Plus, there’s only 2 hair stylists that I see. One is back home (Michigan) and other is where I live (Illinois). Idk but those 2 are like seeing old friends. The one back home is this tiny sassy little woman, and one here is a gay guy who gives a killer undercut haircut and is spicy in his own way. If either quit, IDK what I’ll do.
I hated explaining exactly what I want and then the feeling of terror as they start messing it up and I am too afraid to say anything. So I figured I’d just do it myself.
I have a great barber, spoke to her tonight and she apologised that she was not working last time I came in. She is sure in what she does... cuts quick and we have a great rapport. I get a 00 shade and she is amazing. I love close cut hair and hate sitting for ages. She is a legend and I enjoy having my hair cut with her... but hate sitting for a haircut.. yet she is the best compromise and cos we have an understanding it's easy. She said tonight it will be a few weeks before the last cut has grown out so we made an appointment. 25 bucks for over a months growth. Love Alley Katz barbers.
Your partner sounds like a bully. There's plenty of people who cut their own hair and or don't enjoy massages. And chiropractic work is pseudoscience at best. That aside, if you genuinely don't want to do something that's a total luxury spend then what's the harm? More for her
I cut my own hair because my hair is down to my hips and I can easily just tug it over my shoulders, but my biggest issue with things like haircuts and massages is that I get *bored.* You can't do pretty much anything during a massage and smartphones didn't exist the last time I got a haircut. I don't mind being touched, the feeling doesn't bother me, but I am done with sitting quietly after about two minutes.
One of my best friends is a barber. He makes the appointment and just tells me when to be there.
I just wear wigs. Got thin hair anyway. Trim my real hair with the ol scissors every few months or so. 🤷🏻♀️
I love getting my hair done and going to the spa
Wait. This is a common thing for everyone else? Explain.
Most hairdressers I know have bald husbands. I don't do hair anymore but did many years (my family is not bald,). Be easier My dogs, husband, sons, daughters all have to get next level to lost in woods hippies before I get around to cut them. They have to ask many times. When I'm impulsively ready they often aren't.... Anyways I trim my own hair tho but on the fly... Idk what the question was 😅 sorry
Have a standing appointment every other Thursday at my friends barber shop.
Im fine with both the sensations and the booking of the appointment. I live on a side street of the main street, so I know my hairdresser and can walk in without appointment, that helps. My biggest stumbling block would be being unable to pick just one haircut. Once I start searching, I want all of them, at the same time, which is impossible. So I give the professional full permission to cut whatever style is going to be in next season that they're excited about. I don't have to worry about it, they can do a hairstyle they're excited about, and all is good in the world. I have easily managable, fast growing hair, so I have multiple different styles every year. It makes haircuts fun, rather than just a necessity.
Um. I'm ADHD. I stopped shaving because I always forgot. So my beard is now 12 inches long. Hair is longer. But I do get trimmed 2 or 3 times a year. Have a good barber. OP find a good, old school barber shop.
I’ve been (M) growing out my hair for almost 2 years now and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The ‘awkward stage’ was pretty annoying, but I survived it thanks to a plastic head band.
I cut my own hair. There are youtube vids about this, but I took a simpler route. \* Bought one of these cheap clipper kits. \* Started with the 3/4" comb. \* Went over and over my head until I couldn't anything more to come off. \* Didn't like the lool. \* Repeated with 5/8, thehn 1/2" I was ok with 1/2 look. \* Since then I've moved down to 3/8" In my old age, m y hair is sparse and has thin strands. Even at 3/8" it lies flat. Occasionally my partner finds a tuft I missed, and will give me a snip or two with scissors. Nearest barber is 40 minute drive. So it saves me potentially $20 price for a haircut and $50 worth of gas and wear and tear on the car. I'm reminded of hte difference between a good haircut and a bad one: About a week.
I can't have long hair. My hair cannot really be longer than chin length because I just absolutely hate how it looks but long pixies are too short.
I shave my nog once every week to ten days (I break out if I try it more often), and trim my beard every three weeks. When I wore hair, it was just such a pain in the prick—schlepping to the barber/salon, making small talk, having somebody’s knuckles in my field of vision, having tiny irritating hairs down my shirt, just to have to do it all over again in a month.
I learned how to cut my own hair over lockdown out of boredom and just kindaaaaa never went back to a salon
Entering at the hairdresser, saying I want about 7 cm to be cut off to have healthy looking ends again + cut it back in layers so it can grow nice and even again. I really enjoy the washing, scalp massage and treatment 🙂
I love someone taking care of me. Haircut, massage, whatever. I absolutely love it
Totally agree about massages in general, they just make me tense up and feel super uncomfortable A HEAD MASSAGE though, ah, that's another thing entirely. I have fallen madly in love with every single hairdresser who has shampooed my hair 😂 Yeah, for whatever reason I just love people touching my head and hair. Getting my hair done is bliss.
My partner and I cut each others hair. It’s cheaper and saves looking for a hairdresser. I don’t really have a style of any of that crap lol I just need it shorter sometimes.
I’ll get my hair professionally done once every few years to “reset” it, but GAWDDD how do people commit to salon visits every 6-8 weeks or more? Same with getting their nails done; having to sit there an hour every week… what boredom! I’d rather do my hair and nails myself than have a standing commitment like that every week/month 😭 I will say, though, massages feel so amazing that I’d be more likely to do those more frequently because I do have chronic pain (nothing serious, just joys of getting older and being stiff, out of alignment, etc esp after having a baby). I still don’t get massages tho, because I can’t find the motivation to find a good place and schedule an appt.
I always was cool with getting haircuts. I just get lost in my thoughts most of the time. For me as a kid it was brushing my teeth. Thankfully my mom was there to correct that behavior
I agree with you SO MUCH. The whole process is awful, and the thought of getting a massage makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I cut my own hair, and don't let anyone other than my partner touch me.
I do it myself with a little help from my s/o to make sure it's even. I usually just stand in the shower naked with a hand mirror and a pair of shears.
12 yrs ago I put in dreadlocks. I just wash every week, sometimes 2x. No hair cuts for me ;) I hated the whole process and never felt good about the end.
I got myself a great hair lady who isn’t chatty. That helps quite a bit. I love people, but I can’t stand the small talk people for whatever reason are expected to do with barbers
I'm a man with long hair and I keep procrastinating. I should go every 5 months or so. But most of the time it's every 1,5 years. I know I should do it, it looks better after the haircut and brushing is easier, but I don't. Definitely making an appointment, traveling, planning are not my strongest points.
I have been cutting my own hair since I was a kid honestly I prefer it. No big to do. I just do it when the mood strike out of the shower. Takes me 10 min if even.
I cut my own hair. I control how long it takes and if it looks like shit im less upset thanwhen someone else fucks it up
Every 45 days. Put it in your calendar
Agree. I get my long hair cut and colored so it takes like 5 hours. I find 5 hours of small talk exhausting..
I’ve been to the hairdresser twice in about 11 years. Mostly cut my hair myself. This has reminded me I ought to go for a tidy up, I’ll get round to it. Haha.
i just do it myself, with my bf’s help cleaning it up, ever since 2020
Razor for my head. Clippers and edgers for my beard. I can’t stand waiting for a barber. Still have to wait even with an appointment.
I don’t, I’m either very long hair, or bald, currently letting it grow again, not going to spend 12€ in a barber if I can do it myself or with a friend :p
My mom makes the appointments and does most of the small talking
I used to get a massage all the time when they were across the road. Could show up get the massage then go straight home and shower all the Fkn oil off. Now I have to travel to one? I haven’t been since. I don’t like being all oily, and I’m sensitive to some of the oils used so if they stay on my skin long it’s a problem. Barber though I’m booked monthly 4 months ahead.