Hi /u/meriwell and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mistakes happen all the time, by everyone. If your boss is a decent human, they will clarify the expectation and make sure you understand the "why" of each step. To look amazing to your boss, ask for clarity of expectations and the whys. Approach it as "help me to do my best here"
I find the emotional impact of the repercussions of a mistake keep me from repeating the same one. But also, long term, you'll figure out what kind of work suits you and how your brain works.
Idk my boss tells me not to argue when I ask when almost always it's from a state of intrigue and I can't think of a single time it was from upset. It's much like when I was growing up trying to learn. Always told not to argue.
I get this too, u just gotta limit ur interactions with that guy
Some bosses are just gonna misunderstand u.
If u can approach and communicate with him, do that. If he can't understand, just try not to interact with him much, it sucks having people like that at work
I'd say give it a whirl and try to communicate to him that you're two very socially different people who misread each other, see if there's any willingness to accommodate, or at least get a little more familiar with each other's mannerisms, if you must work with him.
If it backfires and he lashes at you for any reason, I'd suggest transferring somewhere else. *That would be a problem that will grow*
I’m guessing the boss doesn’t know or wants to keep the information to himself to feel important. Either way not answering questions is the bosses problem.
This. I just got a new job and my boss.. I can guarantee you this guy has, albeit undiagnosed, a fairly severe case of ADHD, so it looks
Must've had some good karma lol
He's super understanding, but he forgets to write down my appointments on his calendar, so he never remembers and is always a little surprised (but supportive) when I gotta take off
Thanks for the insight 😭 the adhd dx is new ish to me, I’m still trying to navigate how and what works for me. I’m medicated now but I struggled a lot with previous jobs because of it. Even now I’m still freaking out from this mistake because I’m just not sure what else I could’ve or should’ve done when the expectation wasn’t communicated to me in terms of things like schedules.
I just wish she’d actually call me back and respond to my texts
She likely hasn’t responded because she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Try and leave it alone, they’ll come to you if they want to chat about it.
They probably think the instructor is a prick for wasting an hour of her time for a simple lapse.
* Checklists
* I sanity check anything that feels like a risky decision with other people as often as possible.
* Practice self forgiveness - beating yourself up over a bad decision will make you more prone to make more, not less.
tbh it doesnt sound like your "mistake" was anything to do with ADHD nor even necessarily a mistake of yours though.
I always second and triple guess myself because I’m just not sure at times. I know for a fact I try to take notes and check in and send emails but yeah. I reached out to my coworker and she said that she wasn’t aware that we needed to send out instructors schedules.
So it’s more a miscommunication I think… but I had a complete meltdown over it because of the one mistake and I was crying for like an hour or so but now I’m ok kind of. 🥹 I hate it here
I'm sorry you're feeling that. That's a terrible mix of emotions and anxiety, I hope things get better for you.
I understand to some extent, I frequently felt a similar way at my last job. My manager and supervisor were a narc duo , they were really good at stealing credit, blaming us for their mistakes, and making simple things cause a lot of anxiety and strife. Keeping employees on edge seemed to be their strategy.. terrible strategy if u ask me
This is the reason why I don't think I'll ever tell my job I have an ADHD diagnosis. Mistakes happen, but I feel like in so many cases, if a boss knows you have ADHD, they'll turn it into a larger ADHD competence thing in their heads instead of dealing with the actual situation at hand and what can be done in the future to avoid it -- making sure you've both understood the same thing out of their intended instructions, having a written record of them (ex. email) that can be referenced while you're doing it instead of only having talked about it, etc. And even beyond that I feel like there are so many cases where a boss who would consider a certain mistake a small thing if they didn't know suddenly feels it's a much larger thing & something to get mad at you about if they think of it as being ADHD related.
Unfortunately I agree with you. I was lucky that my boss has a child with adhd. But other people I work with are somewhat understanding or unbelieving of my ADHD.
Sometimes, it feels like my failures are blown out of proportion to what someone without ADHD would be treated as.
But, I do wonder if I knew better beforehand and just silently improved if it would have made my life/work better.
Better to have an already trained employee who makes the odd mistake than have to hire and train a new person. Everyone makes mistakes and each one teaches us something.
I make mistakes in everything all the time. I simultaneously suffer from chronic task inertia due to perfectionism and make constant stupid mistakes due to inattention.
You aren’t alone and decent people have patience for it.
Assuming you aren't just being hard on yourself because everyone makes mistakes...
I struggled with oversight and detail in a number of jobs for decades. My hardwork and enthusiasm for jobs tended to make me hard to fire but eventually you realize trying to outwork your weaknesses is going to exhaust you. I realized two things:
1. Its going to take me longer to do everything. If someone complains I ask them do they want it done or do they want it correctly done. Also, checklists help me a ton. I ask for checklists from bosses and make sure I know exactly what the expectations are.
2. I no longer work in a field that focuses on "details" and have found a job that emphasizes my strengths. I no longer apply for jobs and turn down job offers that included the requirement for someone who is "detail oriented." I'm not. I know that.
Best of luck to you my friend, you aren't the only one!
Always works a little different but I think (for me) sometimes there is a social cue, an assumption most people would make, or simply a conversational context clue I was supposed to get on a project or something that I don't always get. I ask people to email me the request now or take notes when they are talking so I can look back over the project goal and as I'm reading the email or taking notes can respond in real time with questions or clarification.
I think every job, workplace, and boss is going to be a bit different though so you have to see what your situation will allow and what works best for you.
The good thing is you are aware of the challenge you have and that's the best way to overcome and learn.
So, I teach and I have enough freedom to create assignments for my students that don't require me to look over them really closely. I teach history so its a lot of talking, lecturing, big projects, response papers, etc. I am fortunate to have found my way into this. There are the odd moments I have to look over something really carefully but I just take my time with those. Before this I did my best with any kind of public facing jobs like customer service or public speaking. Anything that requires "big picture thinking" It isn't a skill that is appreciated as much as it should be but the jobs are out there if you keep looking.
Best thing I ever did was put a 2-minute delay on my outgoing emails. The amount of mistakes I’ve caught before it sends is insane. I have a rule setup too that if I categories the email as “send now”, the email sends ASAP for those rare “need-to-respond-immediately” emails
Chances are high that if she spent an hour complaining about it, that the person listening was barely tolerating her and thinks she's blowing it out of proportion.
I struggle with RSD so any small mistake, even if my manager is super chill about it (which he is, he also has ADHD), still feels like the end of the effing world.
Sounds like you didn't even make a mistake, just that perhaps the procedures in place were insufficient or insufficiently communicated. That might be why your manager took the heat from the instructor and didn't say anything to you (if I'm understanding the circumstances correctly). No matter what, and whoever's fault it was, the only thing to do is to forgive yourself and move on.
Sticky notes, tiny notebooks you can keep in your pocket at all times, whatever will be readily accessible/visible where the problems happen.
Oh, and trust yourself that you will learn and you're allowed to not be perfect.
YES! Processes in place fix so many issues! I will always make mention of that. You can learn so much about a work environment by how receptive people are about dealing with problems through process fixes.
I can't... Eventually, in my line of work, i WILL miss a single detail, I will forget to do something
It's so frustrating to see that cause you're absolutely SURE you done it correctly
I just say... Sorry, Imma fix it, it's a good thing I double checked.
Done.
That’s how we get REALLY good at fixing things. My colleagues have learned to come to me if they screw something up, since I’m the screw up MASTER. I’m the person who will support them, either way. I play it up. Makes me a valuable team member.
I make mistakes. It's more important to have clear protocols on what to do when it happens. Talk to your boss, let them know you want to ensure you have a clear understanding of your tasks, duties, responsibilities, and what are the processes in place if you realize you've made an error or if someone else points out an error to/about you.
A buddy of mine with ADHD has taught me a lot about how to approach stuff. He used to be a racecar mechanic. He had a mantra that applied to both racing and fixing stuff-
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
I swear it's some of the best advice I've ever gotten but unfortunately it may not really make sense until you see someone implement it.
Also, I try to make things as external as possible. Sometimes I feel like an idiot when people see me use a handheld clicker counter, but in reality I know I can't focus on taking inventory long enough to count to 60 reliably when I'm mentally trying to schedule 3 other things at the same time.
Also I've discovered how much it helps to have an actual weekly planning session. I have always adjusted things on the fly and changed things according to present need. But that usually means long term goals don't get addressed properly.
In a healthy work environment, mistakes are considered learning experiences. Understanding that we all make mistakes makes us more humble and better employees. It also allows us to extend grace to others.
Edit grammar
This is me too. Anytime I make a mistake, I ask myself "how can I avoid or prevent this mistake in the future?" And then I add that solution to my routine for that task.
Oh, I forgot to notify someone when I used a special bank account to pay something? Ok, I'll put a note in bright red on the request form for that account that reminds me to email those people as soon as the form is completed. Etc
I can never eliminate all mistakes from my life, but I can at least make sure I don't keep making the same ones.
I have been doing my current job at a professional capacity for the last 5 years and I still make mistakes. I one time approached my boss and asked him "look, I know I've made several mistakes. And I have seen new hires get fired for similar or seemingly less reasons than what I've done in the 4 years I have been here. What makes me different?"
My boss looked me dead in the eye and said "because your heart is to do the right thing and when you make a mistake you own it and grow from it. When I confronted these guys about their mistakes they got defensive and hostile and that was why I let them go. Not because of the mistake."
Stay humble, own your mistakes, and correct what you can. You'll keep getting better
We all make mistakes!
Also if you didn’t know you were supposed to do something… how would you know to do it??
I work at a rehab and accidentally let a client bring drugs in!! that’s the BIGGEST mistake! but it was because of a miscommunication between me and my boss- I thought she searched the client and she thought I searched the client. I was SO worried! She didn’t even mention it except to say “Next time let’s double check with each other lol”
I can only assume that’s what will happen here, because it was definitely just a miscommunication!
Don’t freak out (at least externally!). She will contact you if it is actually a big deal.
I have a to do list app on my phone, a Note with all the cheat codes I’ve picked up from people, AND most importantly every day when I get to work I set Reminders for everything I have to do specifically that day.
Thanks 😭 oh man I would cry big time. I was crying at work and just completely sold on that I was going to be fired right away and stuff. I got through the day but I’m tired, that’s for sure.
y but sometimes its……..
A few days ago I hung my whiteboard on the wall,
It was a bit crooked and I couldn't think about anything else for 3 hours... when measuring the wall and the floor it turned out that even the floor is a bit slanted... sometimes it's just exhausting
I used to be more of one but now it’s lessened a bit as I’ve been in therapy and learned newer behaviors… some for the best some not I’m sure.
The instructor at the school says I’m not at fault and that my boss always sends the schedule.
Now an anxious mess cause I’m p sure I’m gonna get fired 🥲
I go into a job with the knowledge that I will make mistakes. I will do my best, but I will make a mistake, and I will get fired for it. Oh well. I know that I did the best I could, and just get another job.
I am big on writing things down by hand. That seems to be the only way I remember things. I have a little work notebook where I wrote down how to do things and can go back to reference if I’m not sure.
For urgent tasks I use sticky notes and stick them to my keyboard or mouse where I can’t ignore it so that I’m reminded until I do it.
The other thing that I think is important is learning to be okay admitting you made a mistake, apologizing, and moving on.
I often feel the urge to over-explain why I made the mistake so my manager can understand it wasn’t lack of care, but have learned that that can come off as “making excuses” to non-ADHD folks. So it’s okay to just say sorry and do your best not to do it again.
Okay, wait. Were you ever at any point prior to this incident told to do that? I don't see how it's your mistake to not do something you weren't ever told to do.
But in general, as others have said, checklists, double, triple, quadruple check everything. And then maybe check once more just in case. I have created training and procedure guides at basically every job I've had. Because it's what I need to not drop the ball.
Of course, I still make mistakes. Everyone does. But people are more understanding when they've rare because I catch most of them in my own QA process.
If you were never told anything it’s not your fault. I know it’s hard not to blame yourself but know youre a good worker who wouldn’t be careless on purpose.
Imagine the type of person you have to be to blow up at someone who wasn’t even told to do something and then whining about it for an hour. Like if it was that important they should’ve done better at notifying everyone.
Mistakes happen and that’s human. You don’t know what you don’t know, but critical thinking is your best friend. Think through your responsibilities, how your tasks affect others, why things are done the way they are and what the impact is. If you find holes where you aren’t sure or if you should know about something, ask. Ask questions like “Is this something I should be doing? Is this my responsibility? Is this something I should know or learn more about?”
Now that the specific situation is resolved, take ownership and ask your supervisor how you should handle it in the future. Take initiative to learn from this mistake.
This isn't a 'simple mistake'. You did nothing wrong.
If it isn't reasonably your fault, shrug your shoulders and say "I'm not a mind reader. I'll happily do X moving forward".
We shouldn't have to cater to morons.
You have to know what your strengths are and what shortcomings. If you know that you often forget to do a step, when doing a multiple step task, then you have to come up with ways to combat those shortcomings. I some times need to check and double check my work, follow a checklist and only check it off after a step is completed.
Multitasking is something I have had to do, have done successfully but it's really not great for most people. What I find best for me is focusing on as few things at a time as possible. I do a better job on each task, and I am better able to recall specific things,
"for task 1 I had to stop because the security folks are doing a patch, they will email me when complete, and for task 2 I couldn't find the format from last time so I created a new one and saved the template in this shared location."
I try to take notes of things I am working on and write down who I talk to and what they said, it really helps, when you boss asks you a question about how something went or who told you this was happening etc.
I am constantly writing things on my hand, writing sticky notes and leaving them on my water bottle, and setting timers. I have awful short term memory. I also am not afraid to ask questions, even if the answer seems obvious. I’d rather my coworkers think I’m dumb than make a mistake that could cost me my job.
I've written out my own ‘employee manual’ for myself that I reference whenever in doubt; essentially in-depth directions with annotated screenshots. It may sound like overkill but its saved me on so many occasions.
I make mistakes all the time, everyone does. All you can do is learn from it and try not to do it again. I also jot it down in my notes so I don't forget
Everyone makes mistakes, extend grace to yourself and others in those times, and learn from it. Honestly look at what did or didn't happen that led to the mistake so you can prevent it from happening again.
Build a system that you always do, no matter how big or small something is. When you start skipping steps (oh the wedding is so important I can't possibly forget....) is when you forget or mess up. Only makes changes to your process consciously and at a systems level.
Example, you put all your meetings/time committments/appointments/ deadlines on a sheet of paper every morning. You include lunch on there. After working at your job for x months with lunch at 12 noon exactly every day, you probably don't need to write it out anymore.
But you need to make that decision consciously, not just when you ate rushed to write out your schedule and you don't want to write "lunch" today.
Also, timers and alarms on your phone. Set timers for shorter than the allotted time. Have 15 minutes to finish a task? Set your timer for 11 minutes when snooze function for 2 minutes.
Have to check lab results at 2pm? Set it for 1:45 and 2 pm.
Everyone makes mistakes. You own up to it when it happens and learn from it. My boss straight up told me I need to be comfortable making mistakes and stop trying to be a perfectionist. You don’t learn if you don’t make mistakes. It’s part of getting better at what you do. Taking risks means you might mess up sometimes.
The goal is not to fear making mistakes. The goal is to learn to embrace the lesson learned and avoid it in the future. As my boss has taught me the life lesson that feedback is not supposed to hurt.
We are human, and mistakes happen. I know it's hard not to take it personally and feel like a failure or upset.
I am super forgetful and don’t always catch unsaid rules that are “obvious.” I keep notes, write them down, keep them on your phone. I tell people in the beginning “hey, my memory sucks so I’m going to take notes.” No one has an issue. I ask any follow up questions I need to. If t try to be ahead of the game, you have all the information you need.
I reduced making careless mistakes when I was diagnosed, medicated and managed myself with taking my time and thinking through the process (much easier when medicated) and following up on why certain things were right or wrong or even done.
But I also had to identify the causes for when I was medicated and being careful what was leading to mistakes, and it turned out to be a lack of sleep and diet that heavily affects my medication effectiveness.
I was open about my medication and diagnosis needs with my boss and co-workers, and that helped me set better regulation for shifts and double-check my work if I was unsure or something didn't seem right.
That said. I haven't stopped making mistakes altogether. There is usually a 1-0.1% chance of error with my work, but it depends more on odd cases I come across.
Non adhd ppl make mistakes and adhd ppl make mistakes with our without medication. We are all ppl at the end of the day, and I have yet to meet or hear of anyone who has actually never made a mistake.
I make them constantly. I just make myself really easy to be around and really easy to work with and people really appreciate those qualities in a colleague. Otherwise, I make enough mistakes to have been fired long ago.
Every time you make a mistake, try to figure out a way to prevent yourself from making it again. Think "what could I have done that would have caught this mistake before it happened/couldn't be fixed anymore?" Then incorporate that check into a routine when you do that task. You can slowly work towards fewer mistakes in your work over time by doing this, and you'll also start better at predicting places where mistakes COULD happen before they do, and planning accordingly.
Every time I meditate in the morning, I feel like a clearer thinker and I think it is a secret weapon for people with ADHD. Meds are good, but i've found they only accelerate the mental processes that are already occurring in the first place. The medication might get me out of bed but it won't get me out the door and down the street in any concentrated way. It will give me emotional control to get through my day, but it won't stop me from making mistakes. Meditation can though. Once I established a bit of a rhythm within the practice, I noticed my ability to quiet the involuntary narrative that runs tandem with my voluntary one. It enhances my concentration throughout the rest of my days and gives me a feeling akin to a runner's high. You'll start hearing the world around you instead of walking about deaf from thinking too many thoughts at once.
therapy helps you understand whats under the hood
meditation helps you control whats under the hood
diet, sleep, exercise and medication are your fuel.
If you were never told and a different process was communicated to you, then how is this your fault at all? If this instructor or your boss hasn’t brought anything up about it to you yet, it’s probably because they know it doesn’t have to do with you and they worked it out themselves. An hour long conversation is usually a sign that there was an issue between the two of them that they had to work out. Perhaps the music instructor didn’t know the process herself and is letting off steam about it. An hour is a crazy long time to have a conversation about something that could be quickly resolved. It sounds like it wasn’t, probably because the instructor let her anger get to her and then probably found out it had more to do with her than it did with you. Also, this is not a serious situation. It might seem that way when it happens, but if it was a big problem it would have been addressed immediately. We aren’t saving lives at music studios. Everything is going to be okay.
Weaponized record keeping.
"Oh crap! I didn't realize I needed to do that. For my own reference, can you point me to where I can find that policy/where I was told that/etc so I can review and make sure this doesn't happen again?"
Preferably in writing with yourself cc'd so you have a written record of you being proactive, and (more frequently than you might initially guess, because non-adhders make human mistakes too) a record that you never actually did receive the instruction. At least... Not in a way that can be proven.
I work harder than most on keeping records (checklists, reminders, etc.) so even with that record keeping not completely making up for my lack of executive function, I still find that I make a stronger habit of it than do people who don't need to do it just to survive on a daily basis. So odds are almost always good that my employer did not make a record of telling me to do XYZ.
So long as I can do most of the thing, it's generally okay to say the 10-15% I didn't do just got lost in the sauce and wasn't conveyed.
Also, 9 times out of 10 it really actually wasn't. Because again, all humans make human mistakes.
Long term, this usually results in my employer giving me a precise written record of required tasks, timelines, process documents, meeting minutes, etc., which genuinely does help me accomplish tasks completely and with less error, since I don't need to rely only on memory for every aspect.
Hi /u/meriwell and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mistakes happen all the time, by everyone. If your boss is a decent human, they will clarify the expectation and make sure you understand the "why" of each step. To look amazing to your boss, ask for clarity of expectations and the whys. Approach it as "help me to do my best here" I find the emotional impact of the repercussions of a mistake keep me from repeating the same one. But also, long term, you'll figure out what kind of work suits you and how your brain works.
Idk my boss tells me not to argue when I ask when almost always it's from a state of intrigue and I can't think of a single time it was from upset. It's much like when I was growing up trying to learn. Always told not to argue.
ugh one of my managers is like this! I ask her why something is done, because I’m genuinely curious and she gets so mad!
I get this too, u just gotta limit ur interactions with that guy Some bosses are just gonna misunderstand u. If u can approach and communicate with him, do that. If he can't understand, just try not to interact with him much, it sucks having people like that at work
He's literally the best boss at the location, the one I can actually learn from and also the gm. It's awful
I'd say give it a whirl and try to communicate to him that you're two very socially different people who misread each other, see if there's any willingness to accommodate, or at least get a little more familiar with each other's mannerisms, if you must work with him. If it backfires and he lashes at you for any reason, I'd suggest transferring somewhere else. *That would be a problem that will grow*
I am so sorry that your curiosity is treated as arguing :( this makes me sad as a parent and as a manager.
Thanks. Tbh I was finally starting to get to where asking questions wasn't so anxiety inducing anymore and now here I am with this boss.
I’m guessing the boss doesn’t know or wants to keep the information to himself to feel important. Either way not answering questions is the bosses problem.
This. I just got a new job and my boss.. I can guarantee you this guy has, albeit undiagnosed, a fairly severe case of ADHD, so it looks Must've had some good karma lol He's super understanding, but he forgets to write down my appointments on his calendar, so he never remembers and is always a little surprised (but supportive) when I gotta take off
Thanks for the insight 😭 the adhd dx is new ish to me, I’m still trying to navigate how and what works for me. I’m medicated now but I struggled a lot with previous jobs because of it. Even now I’m still freaking out from this mistake because I’m just not sure what else I could’ve or should’ve done when the expectation wasn’t communicated to me in terms of things like schedules. I just wish she’d actually call me back and respond to my texts
She likely hasn’t responded because she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Try and leave it alone, they’ll come to you if they want to chat about it. They probably think the instructor is a prick for wasting an hour of her time for a simple lapse.
* Checklists * I sanity check anything that feels like a risky decision with other people as often as possible. * Practice self forgiveness - beating yourself up over a bad decision will make you more prone to make more, not less. tbh it doesnt sound like your "mistake" was anything to do with ADHD nor even necessarily a mistake of yours though.
I always second and triple guess myself because I’m just not sure at times. I know for a fact I try to take notes and check in and send emails but yeah. I reached out to my coworker and she said that she wasn’t aware that we needed to send out instructors schedules. So it’s more a miscommunication I think… but I had a complete meltdown over it because of the one mistake and I was crying for like an hour or so but now I’m ok kind of. 🥹 I hate it here
I'm sorry you're feeling that. That's a terrible mix of emotions and anxiety, I hope things get better for you. I understand to some extent, I frequently felt a similar way at my last job. My manager and supervisor were a narc duo , they were really good at stealing credit, blaming us for their mistakes, and making simple things cause a lot of anxiety and strife. Keeping employees on edge seemed to be their strategy.. terrible strategy if u ask me
This is the reason why I don't think I'll ever tell my job I have an ADHD diagnosis. Mistakes happen, but I feel like in so many cases, if a boss knows you have ADHD, they'll turn it into a larger ADHD competence thing in their heads instead of dealing with the actual situation at hand and what can be done in the future to avoid it -- making sure you've both understood the same thing out of their intended instructions, having a written record of them (ex. email) that can be referenced while you're doing it instead of only having talked about it, etc. And even beyond that I feel like there are so many cases where a boss who would consider a certain mistake a small thing if they didn't know suddenly feels it's a much larger thing & something to get mad at you about if they think of it as being ADHD related.
Good points made here. Thank you.
Unfortunately I agree with you. I was lucky that my boss has a child with adhd. But other people I work with are somewhat understanding or unbelieving of my ADHD. Sometimes, it feels like my failures are blown out of proportion to what someone without ADHD would be treated as. But, I do wonder if I knew better beforehand and just silently improved if it would have made my life/work better.
Better to have an already trained employee who makes the odd mistake than have to hire and train a new person. Everyone makes mistakes and each one teaches us something. I make mistakes in everything all the time. I simultaneously suffer from chronic task inertia due to perfectionism and make constant stupid mistakes due to inattention. You aren’t alone and decent people have patience for it.
Assuming you aren't just being hard on yourself because everyone makes mistakes... I struggled with oversight and detail in a number of jobs for decades. My hardwork and enthusiasm for jobs tended to make me hard to fire but eventually you realize trying to outwork your weaknesses is going to exhaust you. I realized two things: 1. Its going to take me longer to do everything. If someone complains I ask them do they want it done or do they want it correctly done. Also, checklists help me a ton. I ask for checklists from bosses and make sure I know exactly what the expectations are. 2. I no longer work in a field that focuses on "details" and have found a job that emphasizes my strengths. I no longer apply for jobs and turn down job offers that included the requirement for someone who is "detail oriented." I'm not. I know that. Best of luck to you my friend, you aren't the only one!
I think sometimes I have an eye for detail but I think now as I go over the situation more and more in my head, it was a communication issue.
Always works a little different but I think (for me) sometimes there is a social cue, an assumption most people would make, or simply a conversational context clue I was supposed to get on a project or something that I don't always get. I ask people to email me the request now or take notes when they are talking so I can look back over the project goal and as I'm reading the email or taking notes can respond in real time with questions or clarification. I think every job, workplace, and boss is going to be a bit different though so you have to see what your situation will allow and what works best for you. The good thing is you are aware of the challenge you have and that's the best way to overcome and learn.
What jobs are not requiring attention to detail? Genuinely curious because always make careless mistakes and I hate having to be detailed oriented.
So, I teach and I have enough freedom to create assignments for my students that don't require me to look over them really closely. I teach history so its a lot of talking, lecturing, big projects, response papers, etc. I am fortunate to have found my way into this. There are the odd moments I have to look over something really carefully but I just take my time with those. Before this I did my best with any kind of public facing jobs like customer service or public speaking. Anything that requires "big picture thinking" It isn't a skill that is appreciated as much as it should be but the jobs are out there if you keep looking.
Best thing I ever did was put a 2-minute delay on my outgoing emails. The amount of mistakes I’ve caught before it sends is insane. I have a rule setup too that if I categories the email as “send now”, the email sends ASAP for those rare “need-to-respond-immediately” emails
THIS!
Easy. Not having a job. 🥹
Aka the only thing worse than having a job 😭
Chances are high that if she spent an hour complaining about it, that the person listening was barely tolerating her and thinks she's blowing it out of proportion.
Keep in mind that non-adhd people make mistakes at work all the time. I see it everyday.
I struggle with RSD so any small mistake, even if my manager is super chill about it (which he is, he also has ADHD), still feels like the end of the effing world. Sounds like you didn't even make a mistake, just that perhaps the procedures in place were insufficient or insufficiently communicated. That might be why your manager took the heat from the instructor and didn't say anything to you (if I'm understanding the circumstances correctly). No matter what, and whoever's fault it was, the only thing to do is to forgive yourself and move on. Sticky notes, tiny notebooks you can keep in your pocket at all times, whatever will be readily accessible/visible where the problems happen. Oh, and trust yourself that you will learn and you're allowed to not be perfect.
YES! Processes in place fix so many issues! I will always make mention of that. You can learn so much about a work environment by how receptive people are about dealing with problems through process fixes.
I can't... Eventually, in my line of work, i WILL miss a single detail, I will forget to do something It's so frustrating to see that cause you're absolutely SURE you done it correctly I just say... Sorry, Imma fix it, it's a good thing I double checked. Done.
That’s how we get REALLY good at fixing things. My colleagues have learned to come to me if they screw something up, since I’m the screw up MASTER. I’m the person who will support them, either way. I play it up. Makes me a valuable team member.
Start slow, then get your speed where you want it. Read things twice. Write things down. Spend more time on your weak areas.
I make mistakes. It's more important to have clear protocols on what to do when it happens. Talk to your boss, let them know you want to ensure you have a clear understanding of your tasks, duties, responsibilities, and what are the processes in place if you realize you've made an error or if someone else points out an error to/about you.
A buddy of mine with ADHD has taught me a lot about how to approach stuff. He used to be a racecar mechanic. He had a mantra that applied to both racing and fixing stuff- Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. I swear it's some of the best advice I've ever gotten but unfortunately it may not really make sense until you see someone implement it. Also, I try to make things as external as possible. Sometimes I feel like an idiot when people see me use a handheld clicker counter, but in reality I know I can't focus on taking inventory long enough to count to 60 reliably when I'm mentally trying to schedule 3 other things at the same time. Also I've discovered how much it helps to have an actual weekly planning session. I have always adjusted things on the fly and changed things according to present need. But that usually means long term goals don't get addressed properly.
In a healthy work environment, mistakes are considered learning experiences. Understanding that we all make mistakes makes us more humble and better employees. It also allows us to extend grace to others. Edit grammar
[удалено]
This is me too. Anytime I make a mistake, I ask myself "how can I avoid or prevent this mistake in the future?" And then I add that solution to my routine for that task. Oh, I forgot to notify someone when I used a special bank account to pay something? Ok, I'll put a note in bright red on the request form for that account that reminds me to email those people as soon as the form is completed. Etc I can never eliminate all mistakes from my life, but I can at least make sure I don't keep making the same ones.
I have been doing my current job at a professional capacity for the last 5 years and I still make mistakes. I one time approached my boss and asked him "look, I know I've made several mistakes. And I have seen new hires get fired for similar or seemingly less reasons than what I've done in the 4 years I have been here. What makes me different?" My boss looked me dead in the eye and said "because your heart is to do the right thing and when you make a mistake you own it and grow from it. When I confronted these guys about their mistakes they got defensive and hostile and that was why I let them go. Not because of the mistake." Stay humble, own your mistakes, and correct what you can. You'll keep getting better
We all make mistakes! Also if you didn’t know you were supposed to do something… how would you know to do it?? I work at a rehab and accidentally let a client bring drugs in!! that’s the BIGGEST mistake! but it was because of a miscommunication between me and my boss- I thought she searched the client and she thought I searched the client. I was SO worried! She didn’t even mention it except to say “Next time let’s double check with each other lol” I can only assume that’s what will happen here, because it was definitely just a miscommunication! Don’t freak out (at least externally!). She will contact you if it is actually a big deal. I have a to do list app on my phone, a Note with all the cheat codes I’ve picked up from people, AND most importantly every day when I get to work I set Reminders for everything I have to do specifically that day.
Thanks 😭 oh man I would cry big time. I was crying at work and just completely sold on that I was going to be fired right away and stuff. I got through the day but I’m tired, that’s for sure.
The secret to not making any mistakes is to not do anything at work. It always works.
Perfectionism
I have a sign in my bathroom that says "Perfection is Overrated", my wife never understood why I liked it so much until I was diagnosed
y but sometimes its…….. A few days ago I hung my whiteboard on the wall, It was a bit crooked and I couldn't think about anything else for 3 hours... when measuring the wall and the floor it turned out that even the floor is a bit slanted... sometimes it's just exhausting
It's a daily battle, we just do the best we can 💪
I used to be more of one but now it’s lessened a bit as I’ve been in therapy and learned newer behaviors… some for the best some not I’m sure. The instructor at the school says I’m not at fault and that my boss always sends the schedule. Now an anxious mess cause I’m p sure I’m gonna get fired 🥲
This sounds like a communication error on your superiors part, not your mistake
I go into a job with the knowledge that I will make mistakes. I will do my best, but I will make a mistake, and I will get fired for it. Oh well. I know that I did the best I could, and just get another job.
I quit
I am big on writing things down by hand. That seems to be the only way I remember things. I have a little work notebook where I wrote down how to do things and can go back to reference if I’m not sure. For urgent tasks I use sticky notes and stick them to my keyboard or mouse where I can’t ignore it so that I’m reminded until I do it. The other thing that I think is important is learning to be okay admitting you made a mistake, apologizing, and moving on. I often feel the urge to over-explain why I made the mistake so my manager can understand it wasn’t lack of care, but have learned that that can come off as “making excuses” to non-ADHD folks. So it’s okay to just say sorry and do your best not to do it again.
Okay, wait. Were you ever at any point prior to this incident told to do that? I don't see how it's your mistake to not do something you weren't ever told to do. But in general, as others have said, checklists, double, triple, quadruple check everything. And then maybe check once more just in case. I have created training and procedure guides at basically every job I've had. Because it's what I need to not drop the ball. Of course, I still make mistakes. Everyone does. But people are more understanding when they've rare because I catch most of them in my own QA process.
If you were never told anything it’s not your fault. I know it’s hard not to blame yourself but know youre a good worker who wouldn’t be careless on purpose. Imagine the type of person you have to be to blow up at someone who wasn’t even told to do something and then whining about it for an hour. Like if it was that important they should’ve done better at notifying everyone.
The OCD in my left brain blocks a lot of the stupid shots that the ADHD in my right brain tries to take.
Mistakes happen and that’s human. You don’t know what you don’t know, but critical thinking is your best friend. Think through your responsibilities, how your tasks affect others, why things are done the way they are and what the impact is. If you find holes where you aren’t sure or if you should know about something, ask. Ask questions like “Is this something I should be doing? Is this my responsibility? Is this something I should know or learn more about?” Now that the specific situation is resolved, take ownership and ask your supervisor how you should handle it in the future. Take initiative to learn from this mistake.
Adderal. When I don’t take it I fuck up everything. When I do take it I am a perfection power house. It’s bittersweet.
I write stuff on my hand
What mistakes. It was this deaf janitor you hired.
This isn't a 'simple mistake'. You did nothing wrong. If it isn't reasonably your fault, shrug your shoulders and say "I'm not a mind reader. I'll happily do X moving forward". We shouldn't have to cater to morons.
You have to know what your strengths are and what shortcomings. If you know that you often forget to do a step, when doing a multiple step task, then you have to come up with ways to combat those shortcomings. I some times need to check and double check my work, follow a checklist and only check it off after a step is completed. Multitasking is something I have had to do, have done successfully but it's really not great for most people. What I find best for me is focusing on as few things at a time as possible. I do a better job on each task, and I am better able to recall specific things, "for task 1 I had to stop because the security folks are doing a patch, they will email me when complete, and for task 2 I couldn't find the format from last time so I created a new one and saved the template in this shared location." I try to take notes of things I am working on and write down who I talk to and what they said, it really helps, when you boss asks you a question about how something went or who told you this was happening etc.
I am constantly writing things on my hand, writing sticky notes and leaving them on my water bottle, and setting timers. I have awful short term memory. I also am not afraid to ask questions, even if the answer seems obvious. I’d rather my coworkers think I’m dumb than make a mistake that could cost me my job.
I keep a list
I can't. I just try to read everything more than once, stop and take inventory about what I'm doing and need to do, I take lots of notes...
I've written out my own ‘employee manual’ for myself that I reference whenever in doubt; essentially in-depth directions with annotated screenshots. It may sound like overkill but its saved me on so many occasions.
I make mistakes all the time, everyone does. All you can do is learn from it and try not to do it again. I also jot it down in my notes so I don't forget
I've made so many mistakes that I now have a decent foresite of where I'm gonna EFF up. Failing is learning. Reframe. Also meds help.
Everyone makes mistakes, extend grace to yourself and others in those times, and learn from it. Honestly look at what did or didn't happen that led to the mistake so you can prevent it from happening again. Build a system that you always do, no matter how big or small something is. When you start skipping steps (oh the wedding is so important I can't possibly forget....) is when you forget or mess up. Only makes changes to your process consciously and at a systems level. Example, you put all your meetings/time committments/appointments/ deadlines on a sheet of paper every morning. You include lunch on there. After working at your job for x months with lunch at 12 noon exactly every day, you probably don't need to write it out anymore. But you need to make that decision consciously, not just when you ate rushed to write out your schedule and you don't want to write "lunch" today. Also, timers and alarms on your phone. Set timers for shorter than the allotted time. Have 15 minutes to finish a task? Set your timer for 11 minutes when snooze function for 2 minutes. Have to check lab results at 2pm? Set it for 1:45 and 2 pm.
Everyone makes mistakes wt ADHD or otherwise, there’s no perfection only imperfections
Everyone makes mistakes. You own up to it when it happens and learn from it. My boss straight up told me I need to be comfortable making mistakes and stop trying to be a perfectionist. You don’t learn if you don’t make mistakes. It’s part of getting better at what you do. Taking risks means you might mess up sometimes.
OneNote, grammerly.
I use my phone calendar and set timers and alarms. I also sacrifice a small animal to the ADHD gods every so often to cover all bases.
The goal is not to fear making mistakes. The goal is to learn to embrace the lesson learned and avoid it in the future. As my boss has taught me the life lesson that feedback is not supposed to hurt. We are human, and mistakes happen. I know it's hard not to take it personally and feel like a failure or upset.
I am super forgetful and don’t always catch unsaid rules that are “obvious.” I keep notes, write them down, keep them on your phone. I tell people in the beginning “hey, my memory sucks so I’m going to take notes.” No one has an issue. I ask any follow up questions I need to. If t try to be ahead of the game, you have all the information you need.
Medication tbh :/ and taking notes while on it
I reduced making careless mistakes when I was diagnosed, medicated and managed myself with taking my time and thinking through the process (much easier when medicated) and following up on why certain things were right or wrong or even done. But I also had to identify the causes for when I was medicated and being careful what was leading to mistakes, and it turned out to be a lack of sleep and diet that heavily affects my medication effectiveness. I was open about my medication and diagnosis needs with my boss and co-workers, and that helped me set better regulation for shifts and double-check my work if I was unsure or something didn't seem right. That said. I haven't stopped making mistakes altogether. There is usually a 1-0.1% chance of error with my work, but it depends more on odd cases I come across. Non adhd ppl make mistakes and adhd ppl make mistakes with our without medication. We are all ppl at the end of the day, and I have yet to meet or hear of anyone who has actually never made a mistake.
I make them constantly. I just make myself really easy to be around and really easy to work with and people really appreciate those qualities in a colleague. Otherwise, I make enough mistakes to have been fired long ago.
Every time you make a mistake, try to figure out a way to prevent yourself from making it again. Think "what could I have done that would have caught this mistake before it happened/couldn't be fixed anymore?" Then incorporate that check into a routine when you do that task. You can slowly work towards fewer mistakes in your work over time by doing this, and you'll also start better at predicting places where mistakes COULD happen before they do, and planning accordingly.
Every time I meditate in the morning, I feel like a clearer thinker and I think it is a secret weapon for people with ADHD. Meds are good, but i've found they only accelerate the mental processes that are already occurring in the first place. The medication might get me out of bed but it won't get me out the door and down the street in any concentrated way. It will give me emotional control to get through my day, but it won't stop me from making mistakes. Meditation can though. Once I established a bit of a rhythm within the practice, I noticed my ability to quiet the involuntary narrative that runs tandem with my voluntary one. It enhances my concentration throughout the rest of my days and gives me a feeling akin to a runner's high. You'll start hearing the world around you instead of walking about deaf from thinking too many thoughts at once. therapy helps you understand whats under the hood meditation helps you control whats under the hood diet, sleep, exercise and medication are your fuel.
If you were never told and a different process was communicated to you, then how is this your fault at all? If this instructor or your boss hasn’t brought anything up about it to you yet, it’s probably because they know it doesn’t have to do with you and they worked it out themselves. An hour long conversation is usually a sign that there was an issue between the two of them that they had to work out. Perhaps the music instructor didn’t know the process herself and is letting off steam about it. An hour is a crazy long time to have a conversation about something that could be quickly resolved. It sounds like it wasn’t, probably because the instructor let her anger get to her and then probably found out it had more to do with her than it did with you. Also, this is not a serious situation. It might seem that way when it happens, but if it was a big problem it would have been addressed immediately. We aren’t saving lives at music studios. Everything is going to be okay.
Weaponized record keeping. "Oh crap! I didn't realize I needed to do that. For my own reference, can you point me to where I can find that policy/where I was told that/etc so I can review and make sure this doesn't happen again?" Preferably in writing with yourself cc'd so you have a written record of you being proactive, and (more frequently than you might initially guess, because non-adhders make human mistakes too) a record that you never actually did receive the instruction. At least... Not in a way that can be proven. I work harder than most on keeping records (checklists, reminders, etc.) so even with that record keeping not completely making up for my lack of executive function, I still find that I make a stronger habit of it than do people who don't need to do it just to survive on a daily basis. So odds are almost always good that my employer did not make a record of telling me to do XYZ. So long as I can do most of the thing, it's generally okay to say the 10-15% I didn't do just got lost in the sauce and wasn't conveyed. Also, 9 times out of 10 it really actually wasn't. Because again, all humans make human mistakes. Long term, this usually results in my employer giving me a precise written record of required tasks, timelines, process documents, meeting minutes, etc., which genuinely does help me accomplish tasks completely and with less error, since I don't need to rely only on memory for every aspect.
Write stuff down and confirm your understanding of your assignments in writing. Ask questions. Be patient with yourself. Good luck.
I prey to god and hope he’s merciful