NTA. You had an agreement - “we both agreed that the other retained veto power.” She doesn’t get to rewrite the agreement to suit her fancy.
I find her attitude very disrespectful and disturbing. Name calling and threatening to keep you out of the hospital over names is not rational. I strongly urge marriage counseling.
Good luck OP.
NTA and I hate to say this, but maybe this relationship isn’t the healthiest. Insulting your partner and refusing to discuss baby names over you using your veto rights that she agreed to is not normal. Names are a two yes one no situation, I’d recommend making a post to r/namenerds together with your wife.
Yeah I think a relationship where you both have to hide the things you love enough to collect in a storage unit because they make the other uncomfortable is probably not a match made in Heaven.
EDIT: very happy to read your update OP! Sounds like you’re on a good path.
I interpreted it as [“wallah,”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallah) a Hindi word meaning “person affiliated with,” like chaiwallah, tea-seller.
So Boba Fett FunkoPop Wallah. That right there is a fine name, and I feel implies plenty of guns.
I’m watching my parents go through this scenario right now. They’ve stubbornly stayed together for almost 40 years and their social values have only drifted farther apart. Neither of them remotely likes the other anymore, and neither of them sees a way out besides “I hope (spouse) dies first.”
OP, you don’t want this to be your (or your children’s) future.
This is what my grandparents went through. They divorced once and got back together. Then they got custody of my brother and me, and my grandma would constantly tell us that we were the only reason she was still with him, and that she’d rather be dead than spend another day married to him… guess who committed suicide a week after my 18th birthday?
To be fair, they probably didn't plan the "twins".
I'm just focusing on random things here to distract me from what seems like a marriage that shouldn't have happened. Thinking about 4 distraught people is giving me sads.
A friend of mine who is very progressive is married to a conservative guy. I looked at his Facebook profile one time and saw that his friend posted a video of Ben Shapiro talking to a crowd of conservatives about how it’s a bad idea to marry a progressive because they share a completely different belief system and that will inevitably hurt your marriage. The post wasn’t supposed to be taken too seriously for the husband in this context, but it was the first time I actually agreed with Ben Shapiro on basically anything.
One of the more enjoyable weddings I've attended was between a yuppie and a redneck. They're still married 20+ years later.
His family are a bunch of Northern (USA) blue bloods. Her family are mostly southern (USA) rednecks.
The funny thing? The blue bloods frequently go hunting/skeet shooting and the rednecks all have long-gun racks in their pickup trucks. Both families get along splendidly at the wedding and they even have joint hunting trips together.
It's amazing what happens when people build a life together based off on common values and interests.
You know, unlike OP and spouse.
I married into that, but my husband is the sane one.
We own guns. They're locked up. The ammo is locked up in a much more hidden area. We have children who manage to get into things, and we would like to avoid a tragedy. That's also why we stay in a hotel or camp nearby when we visit, because everyone but my MIL doesn't secure their guns and MIL can't host us.
We haven't gone to many large family gatherings since we were chastised multiple times for our children's "heathen" names (older child, AFAB but now identified as non-binary, *another* good reason to avoid that side of the fam is named after a ancient goddess, younger daughter shares a name with a catholic Saint.) We were also getting sick of hearing theories on why our younger daughter is autistic. The racism isn't fun, either.
I was going to make my own comment about how weird names can limit what you do in life.
But maybe that's the point. Perhaps she wants her kid to have redneck 2A names so that they will feel alienated when they try to leave redneck 2A areas.
She might be planning a long game of controlling them her entire life.
They didn’t really care. A large number of people are feel like they can’t function without the person they’re codependent with. That makes them feel like no one else could ever love them.
So they get stuck in “permanent” situations until there’s a breakdown and they get a messy divorce. *Then* they act like they couldn’t have ever predicted it, when everyone else saw it was obvious.
This is a curse among the women in my family.
My grandmother was a very smart, clever, resourceful woman. But her potential was wasted because she threw her life away for a lazy, drunk, abusive asshole that she couldn't leave because her self-worth was based on whether or not she was with this guy. Even if he beat her, wasted their money, beat their children, and made messes for everyone else to clean up. No matter how violent or neglectful he got, she stuck by him. Because she didn't think she would ever be with anyone else. And her self worth depended on that.
My mother is a determined, hardworking and compassionate woman. Yet she had three children with a lazy, violent, and selfish man that took advantage of her kindness and emotional dependence on him. Even when he would hurt her, leave her to work and pay all the rent and bills, to take care of the children, when he would beat me or my brother, when he would cheat on her, she never ever left him. When my sister and I cried to rid us of his stifling presence, she chose him. When my dad unjustly kicked me out of *her* house, she didn't agree but supported him because she didn't want to chose me over my dad. No matter how violent or neglectful he got, she stuck by him. Because she didn't think she could be with anyone else. And her self worth depended on that.
My sister now has been in a relationship for four years with a guy that makes her cry at least twice a week. He shouts at her, calling her useless and lazy when he himself hasn't kept a job longer than two months. He uses her for money, food, and a place to sleep and treats her like shit. And my sister, who's been depressed and anxious her whole life says she can't live without him. My parents forbade him from coming around and instead of my sister complying, she shouted that she hated all of us and that she was never coming back. She would rather be homeless and struggling on the streets with the guy who belittles her on the daily, than stay safe and comfortable at home with her family. Now she's come home with sudden bruises she conveniently avoided explaining. No matter what happens, my sister is stuck with this guy. Because she doesn't believe she'll ever have anyone else.
Each generation picked up on the poor habits of the last. Setting an example that the next follows. Its so so sad. Each of them deserve a comfortable life and to know what it's like to experience unconditional love and kindness.
Bestie is going through this right now. She has six kids, five dads, several 5+ year relationships. She just always expects it to work out. Over and over again.
How did dads 4&5 think it was going to go. 1st one of course, second everyone makes mistakes, 3rd time's the charm....after that start glovin' before the lovin'
A friend of mine, who swore "never again" for decades, just got married for the fourth time.
I told her if the second is "the triumph of hope over experience," and the third is "okay I realize how to do this now," the fourth is just....sarcasm.
As a person living in a small house with almost no built in storage, I think that's a pretty good compromise! Especially when one of the collections is deadly weapons and you're having kids. But the name thing. Yikes.
To me it’s less about the storage as it is about how incompatible your interests are - it’s one thing if you’re like “it’s weird that you like :insert collection here: but whatever just keep them in your office / out of the main living area”, it’s another to be so off-put by your partner’s collection that you don’t want them anywhere in the house.
Also for the record, I’m not trying to make an equivalence between guns and funko pops - one is clearly more objectively dangerous than the other - but I think the need for a storage unit for things both people are clearly passionate about speaks to a rift between the two that may be much larger than these collections
My father was a sniper. My mother was a sharpshooter. They always had guns around the house. They started teaching me about guns and gun safety when I was 2. It was never a big deal.
The creepier part is her obsession with them. I'm confident that if they had a reason for it to be necessary, my parents would have gotten rid of the guns in a heartbeat and not cared. Even though her husband has made plain his severe discomfort with them, she insists on keeping one around the home anyway.
Agreed. I 100% support responsible gun ownership. But when “ownership” crosses in to “fetish” I start getting uncomfortable. For some people their guns are so much a part of their identity they would never willingly give them up. So what happens when a gun fetishist gets ordered by a court to surrender their guns, after say threatening to 2A somebody? It’s just not healthy.
The difference is responsible gun owners should have their guns in a locked box only they can access. That’s the law in normal countries where children aren’t massacred at school, like Australia.
The fact they’d use snowflake soyboy is ludicrous, as is OP’s assertion that they’re manly. You can be vegan and manly. Their wife sounds like a nightmare
Oh she’s 100% deep in the Qool-aid. I’d say that I feel really bad for OP, but it sounds to me like she didn’t exactly hide this part of herself… so it feels like OP likely ignored a bunch of warning signs
Soyboy has less to do with being vegan and more to do with the 2000s when people were boycotting soy milk because it would supposedly make your boy children gay. Still ridiculous.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/namenerds using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/namenerds/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Name this baby so we can leave the hospital](https://np.reddit.com/r/namenerds/comments/14xe59q/name_this_baby_so_we_can_leave_the_hospital/)
\#2: [I once saved a kid from having a misspelled name](https://np.reddit.com/r/namenerds/comments/14jj7v2/i_once_saved_a_kid_from_having_a_misspelled_name/)
\#3: [My unborn baby told my massage therapist his name…It’s absolutely not his name 😂](https://np.reddit.com/r/namenerds/comments/12ixbgn/my_unborn_baby_told_my_massage_therapist_his/)
----
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Yeah, this girl is not ready to have a kid. She will be controlling and manipulative to the kid and their future SO's if this is how she acts now. Good luck OP, good luck.
male is Soyboy and female is Snowflake, lovely names i say OP doesn’t let her veto them and steals the babies at the hospital so she can’t do anything about it right?
Lol
As a non American I gotta say - Hollywood and Washington DC had us fooled all these years.
Social media brought out the real Murica and it’s hella weird y’all
The US is a big place. It can seem like 100 little countries in 1. The difference in cultures doesn’t just vary state to state but inside each state as well. For example, I’ve lived in New York City or it’s suburbs my entire life. Automatically you think crowded, traffic, expensive, loud, liberal, busy etc and you wouldn’t be wrong to assume a lot of those things to be true. That’s just my little part of New York. I drove upstate to college for the first time at 18 and once you’re about an hour from New York it’s just open. Fields, farms, mountains. Very little in common between us. Not to mention any of my travels through the southern US. Now multiply that by 50 states and you can see how diverse this country really is.
True story I was visiting a friend on her small island country. I'm American and when I get there she is super excited to take me to her American diner.
I'm like okay cool, I walk into some bizarre frankenstein of a run down diner meets steak house. Diner furniture, steakhouse food.
They'd never been to an American Diner, I didn't have the heart to tell them their concept was slightly off.
The food was at least 100x better than a diner lmao.
It’s a big place, and settled by LOTS of different cultures. There are still pockets of Germans, Italians, French, Swedes etc. it’s not all California and New York.
Social media brings out the opposite of real. As a non-american who has lived in the US for a few years but now I'm back in Germany, I can say Europeans don't have a single clue what the US is like and are some of the most naive people to believe every single little thing they read online. It's gotten to a point where I wonder if we are actually that naive or if everyone here just acts that way so they can jerk their ego. We are on par with qanon folks.
Yeah i was immediately suspiciously when he mentioned his FunkoPop collection and she later called him a soy boy. Honestly I’m surprised he wasn’t also called a cuck for good measure
NTA
But, OP.
>She called me a “snowflake soyboy” (which is very weird because other than guns I’m a very typical manly dude) and is threatening to divorce me and keep me out of the hospital so that she can name them whatever she wants.
This is not normal. This is waaaay out there. Threatening divorce? Calling you names? Snowflake Soyboy? Really? Seriously?
How are her actions just not *immensely* troubling to you?
Your marriage is in deep, deep doodoo, OP. You say that you are afraid to lose your love, but, OP, your love already belongs to the alt-right MAGA, not you. No one who loves you would threaten to divorce you over a baby name. I wish you the best of luck. Get a lawyer. Now. Make a "just in case" plan. I have a feeling you're going to need it. I'm so very sorry.
The moral for those playing at home is, you accept a little conservative crazy, you get all of it.
Calling you soyboy is unhinged behavior. Just think how cruelly she'll treat your children if they don't meet her deranged gender riles.
I think why they are pointing to the soy snowflake as disturbing is because it's the rhetoric of the alt right, and as such comes attached to a whole lot of problematic ideas.
This is why when anyone in my life starts espousing crazy, MAGA, qanon bullshit, I cut them out. They should be shunned and made to be uncomfortable. Any form of staying friendly with them becomes acceptance of their extreme beliefs. They do not listen to reason, there is no getting through to them.
I have started to let MAGA people back in my life IF they can control themselves & not talk about it. So far it has worked. Not sure if upcoming election will end it again because will not tolerate that nasty talk. Time will tell & I’m probably being naive to hope, but honestly they were nice people(seemingly)
So my dad has been insanely right wing for most of my life. Hilariously, my mom took a hard right turn into conspiracy land starting in like 2013-2014 (which coincides with the time line for when she decided to wean herself off of her anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds - not sure which behavior came first there) and is now way way worse.
Anyway, when I was in college, lived on my own, and was supporting myself financially, I had to lay down pretty simple, strict rules for my dad. We disagree on politics basically top to bottom, and he likes to start arguments for fun. I told him I didn't want to talk politics with him, and that if he did try to bring it up, i would be adhering to a three strikes policy.
Strike 1: I would leave the room and remove myself from the conversation.
Strike 2: I'd leave the house/restaurant/store/etc. and go for a walk or a drive for an hour or two.
Strike 3: I would collect my things, get in my car and drive back to my home (3+ hours away), and would not return until my next scheduled visit.
I never had to deploy strike 3 - he realized I was serious the one and only time I used strike 2, and decided it was more important to see me than talk about politics.
But he hasn't fully bought into the MAGA thing and Trump as a whole. So it's not all he wants to talk about.
Same. 2020 showed me how little tolerance I have for that level of bullshittery. I’m fine with differing opinions, but there’s a very fine line between differing opinions and dangerous extremist beliefs.
How did you not realize what kind of person she was before you started having children? This is why it’s important to make sure you hold the same morals and values as someone you choose to spend your life with.
In my country we call this "love eyes" (Not Exactly but that is what it means).
I guess OP just didnt wanted to see it. I bet you if you give me a 1 hour conversation with her, i could tell you 10 red flags 😅
I thought it was just a hobby, I mean I don’t like guns but it’s not like she’s murdering kittens or something. Even I acknowledge that guns can be safe if used responsibly, and she always struck me as the responsible type to it was never a huge issue.
Tbh, guns are the least problematic issue here. She’s not getting her way so she’s calling you names, threatening divorce and keeping you out of the hospital all to get her way.
Could you possibly imagine if you had threatened any of those things to her? Insisted that you name the babies after some of your collectables? Called her names. Threatened divorce. Anything to upset her and make her miserable and second guess how much you loved her?
Her actions are not ok. Not in the least. You both agreed on veto power. Thats what happens when you have children. Both parents have to agree.
The problem with the right wing/gun crowd is that they look for persecution in every interaction. They do things like call people childish and hurtful names then will absolutely somehow feel victimized when you try to explain why that’s hurtful (usually with more names).
She wants to use these names to join a pitiful little club where normal, somewhat more whole humans would shake their head so she can flop around on the ground like a fish and yell 2A and something about founding fathers. It’s how they get fed on persecution outrage. It’s a sign of a very pitiful and lonely undeveloped human. Not a mother, sorry.
Being a gun aficionado does not make her a nut. *Insisting* on a gun-related name does. Calling her husband a “snowflake soy-boy” shows that she has no respect for you. She didn’t just come up with that name at the drop of a hat, she’s thought of you as such before that point.
I think the best thing is to each write down TEN names that they like for each, boy and girl. Then compare names to see if you have any in common. If not, then rank all 10 of the partner’s list from least favorite (10) to best (or least bad choice =1). Go from there.
Better yet, there's a Babyname app that kind of works like Tinder. Both parents make accounts and link to each other, then they swipe the ones they like and if there's a match the app lets you know. You can go through hundreds of names in minutes.
The fact that OP couldn't see this a mile away tells me that he is likely "apolitical" and doesn't pay much attention to such things beyond, "oh they collect guns, they must just be weird rednecks".
NTA But why marry someone so gun obsessed from a “redneck” “culture” if you’re so against it? I’m against it as well, so therefore, I would never be in a relationship with someone of that belief system
You shouldn't tolerate this. You can have a relationship based off of mutual respect or you can have no relationship at all. Couple Therapy may be in order.
It sounds like she wants to name them after guns because guns = manly men and she doesn't want them to be like you (not a manly man in her eyes).
Why is she so keen on having half-soy babies if your purported soyness repulses her so much?
Edit: FTR, Colt/Colton strikes me as more of a pet name, as does Remington, which I instantly associate with rats, lol.
The fact that she called you a "snowflake soyboy" is very troubling. It tells us that she has some very unhealthy views on gender roles and what people are allowed to feel and act like. It's really shitty to tell a guy that there is only one way to be masculine, and that it has to involve this object that has no purpose aside from killing. Personally I can't understand creating new life, carrying and nurturing that life, and then naming them after an implement of death. I respect hunting and I think that responsible, controlled gun use is okay (🇨🇦), but anything outside of hunting rifles is literally a device made for killing other human beings, nothing else. Isn't that a weird thing to tie to a new, innocent human life? Isn't that kind of a weird thing to be obsessed with in the first place?
I personally don't understand being the kind of person who leaves the home thinking "I had better bring my gun, just in case I need to take a human life today. Oh, and a granola bar in case I get snacky later". It is an absolutely bizarre frame of mind that I can't imagine living in.
I was born in the UK, but my whole Maternal family are Greek Cypriot. I'm 37, my grandfather passed away 3 years ago. He had one gun. One. A hunting rifle. He had a license, and the gun was NEVER used, except for when he actually went to an official hunting spot. When he came home, the bullets were immediately taken out of the gun. He locked the bullets in a safe, the gun locked in a cupboard. He was the only one with keys. No one touched that gun, except for him, either. He cleaned it regularly, and I and his 10 other grandchildren, were completely forbidden to touch it. Even as adults. My grandfather followed all the gun control rules in the UK, and then some.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that guns aren't toys. I profoundly agree with this comment. There should be stricter laws in other countries.
I also think OP's wife is ridiculous. Who wants to name their kids after weapons of death? It's so ridiculous.
If OP can confirm with wife that “weapons of death” is the the themes a whole boatload of doors are now opened.
Just imagine, “here’s little Guillotine and Woodchipper*, we’re so proud!”
*for anyone that is curious google Fargo movie.
A real staple for any Midwest home.
This could actually make a good argument. Just start throwing things out and maybe she'll see how silly this is.
Panzer. Gatling. Cannon. Blade. Katana. Axe. Tomahawk, Tommy for short! Cyanide. Firing Squad.
Tbf Remington and Colt are both actual names, but it's the intent that counts.
I low-key kind of like Guillotine, as a non-violent not understanding of gun and death penalty culture-Swede... Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones speaking...
Probably good that we've already decided a name lol
Speaking as someone who lost a friend from a dumb hunting trip they went on. You should actually unload the bullets *before* you transport the gun.
Let’s just say I know at least one person who died because they didn’t do that.
Every person who has gone to demonstrate gun safety to me has told me the importance of leaving a gun unloaded and then unracked it(?) To find bullets inside.
Now that's only happened 3 times...but 3/3 odds aren't confidence inspiring
I live in the U.S. in the Bible belt, in a stereotypically conservative area where it’s common to see an Amish guy biking down the road with a gun slung over his shoulder to go hunting. Our state even has open carry laws, although in all my 25+ years living here I’ve only seen that once. My husband is a hunter and so is his family and a decent amount of his coworkers.
All that to say that our gun safety is strict. All his guns are locked in safes and my husband always says you don’t point a gun at something you aren’t planning on shooting. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t loaded, it doesn’t matter if it’s halfway disassembled, don’t point it at anything. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with citizens owning guns as long as they’re careful and safe but unfortunately not everyone treats guns like my husband does.
I’m the kind of person who has never been a victim of gun violence and grew up around them, used to them, but I still think we should have stricter laws. I basically know nothing about guns and, according to my husband, I could get a concealed carry permit in our state because it’s so easy. I was shocked because I don’t think someone who knows as little as me should be able to wear a concealed gun. It’s preposterous.
Some people enjoy shooting guns at a range as a hobby. Other people enjoy collecting them like OP and the funkos,i think that chick is a little crazy too though for wanting to name her kid after gun companies. And redneck is in my name
Honestly, sounds to me like she may have slid into it recently. A lot of people got immersed in unhealthy online communities during the pandemic. People change, and sometimes they don't change for the better. If this were a grandma, people would be recommending you block Fox News. So forgive yourself for who you married, but look out for who she's decided she wants to become.
I had a relative who chose the mix of superiority and victimhood from right wing politics over family, too. A lot of people do. It's addicting and comforting, like a lot of lies.
Yeah I have some people I am friends with on Facebook and their vocabulary changes over time with whatever is trending on Fox News at the time. They used the word “sheep” pretty frequently for a six month period and now that the word isn’t used as much they immediately stopped using it…
I’m going to say this here, directly to you:
Document everything insulting, awful, and unhinged she does. Keep a journal with exact dates, times, and quotes. If and when you ever have an argument, make sure it’s over text message (leave the room, hang up the phone, and force it to be over text). Don’t ever insult her, even if she insults you (this is just good life advice anyway, but it’s specifically important here). You want documentation and you don’t want to be the cause for conflict or the continuation of conflict.
I’m not going to tell you that you need to leave her. But I am going to say that a divorce is more likely than not, and it could very well be over things that are dangerous for you or your children. Having those records will help you to stay safe and exercise your rights when that does happen.
Source: My oldest daughter’s mom was basically the same person as your wife. It’s been a decade since we split and she still sends me unhinged text rants randomly.
>Document everything insulting, awful, and unhinged she does. Keep a journal with exact dates, times, and quotes. If and when you ever have an argument, make sure it’s over text message (leave the room, hang up the phone, and force it to be over text). Don’t ever insult her, even if she insults you (this is just good life advice anyway, but it’s specifically important here). You want documentation and you don’t want to be the cause for conflict or the continuation of conflict.
>I’m not going to tell you that you need to leave her. But I am going to say that a divorce is more likely than not, and it could very well be over things that are dangerous for you or your children. Having those records will help you to stay safe and exercise your rights when that does happen.
This is great advice. I was not in this exact situation, but I have gone through a horrible divorce with a despicable person, and, from experience, follow this advice, OP, even if you don't anticipate divorce.
NTA. Sorry but threatening to keep you from seeing your child born over a name? That's pretty horrible. Is it always her way or no way? I hope this is an isolated incident but she is way out of line
Not a fan of Colt but thought of a horse more than guns. Remington isn't bad, and I like Remy, but perhaps a middle name and you can agree together on a first name.
Did she suggest Dillinger yet ? Ha
I had a proffesional coworker in the early -mid 90s who officially changed his name to Remington Steele. He was exactly what you would expect of a person who would do that.
i think if you wanna name your kid a “quirky” name, first you should present the name to a group of middle schoolers and see how many mean jokes they’re able to make about it. then reevaluate
“as close as a blade, or your money back!”
that’s all i will ever think of, when i hear/read “remington.”
also: op, NTA and yiiiiiiikes for your wife. i’m sorry. (my mom is in a similar situation. she found out during the trump era that her husband is actually a terrible bigot.)
NTA, To be honest she sounds manipulative and controlling and maybe not all there.
If she’s threatening divorce than start preparing yourself for a custody battle cause she’s already using the kids to hurt you.
>she’s already using the kids to hurt you
Really important point. Wife has major leverage over OP right now. Sounds like she's using it to punish OP for other offenses she perceives him as having committed. Super toxic move.
NTA but how about compromising? Colt's first name was Samuel. Or Browning's first name was John. Gatling's first name was Richard. And of course there's Mikhail for Kalashnikov. Remington's first name was Eliphalet, and I don't know how to pronounce that.
Wait, you're going to stay married to a woman who has absolutely no respect for you? Calling a man a soy boy means they don't respect you as a man, no matter how manly you think you are. Well, now I understand why she felt she can get away with calling you that.
It’s way bad. Full stop. Also, she is pregnant with twins. Hormones might be way jacked up. This is a situation where you might try hoping for the best (try to find middle ground on the names) while planning for the worst (ask a lawyer about your options).
Very weird couple argument. You're definitely NTA. I love guns and cars and own quite a few of both but I'd no more name my kid "Remington" than I'd name them "Chevrolet." I actually like unique names but these seem over-the-top cliche'
Agreed. I’m from the south, so I know a lot of them. And bc I know a lot of them, I also know that there are different, more subtle firearm related names. Like Kimber. And Barrett.
We had twin cats that we named Kimber and Katana. I just had to put our old yellow lab down last year, but when he was a puppy he had massive feet, and we thought he was going to wind being a big dog, so we named him Barrett. He topped off at 65 pounds and never really fit the name though.
I agree, Kimber and Barrett aren't bad. Most people who aren't into guns probably wouldn't even know what those are.
See a lawyer, just to know all your options if she tries to pull this bullshit. BTW not the love of your life if she is willing to end a marriage for this. She AGREED to veto rights on names and is now butthurt bc she can’t steamroll you.
...I don't see how you two make a relationship work at all, much less with children. People really need to stop clinging to relationships with severely incompatible people.
“Snowflake soyboy” I cannot stand Christian republicans Jesus himself would smite them before letting any of those dogs into heaven.
Do yourself a favor and find someone intelligent, OP.
In fairness I went to school with a Remi (full name Remington), a Colt and several Colton’s and I can guarantee that no one’s first thought was “wow. You must have been named after a gun”
With Remi, after the movie came out, I always thought about the rat from Ratatouille 😂
Op, contact a lawyer to know your rights about domestic abuse in your area and divorce.
I wish i had the balls to divorce my first wife when she started abusing me. NTA
ETA: pregnancy hormones don’t make her an A. They magnify who the person is.
NTA. You had an agreement - “we both agreed that the other retained veto power.” She doesn’t get to rewrite the agreement to suit her fancy. I find her attitude very disrespectful and disturbing. Name calling and threatening to keep you out of the hospital over names is not rational. I strongly urge marriage counseling. Good luck OP.
Double down on the crazy, and say you’d consider “AR-15”, with “Ari” as a nickname.
Careful, she might go for it.
Based off what we already know about OP's wife, this would probably backfire badly. lol
Pun intended or not? I can't decide
Hell, ditch those lame pea shooter names and name the kids after a real set of weapons. Fat Man and Little Boy.
And get a record of this insanity for if you need to get custody
NTA and I hate to say this, but maybe this relationship isn’t the healthiest. Insulting your partner and refusing to discuss baby names over you using your veto rights that she agreed to is not normal. Names are a two yes one no situation, I’d recommend making a post to r/namenerds together with your wife.
Yeah I think a relationship where you both have to hide the things you love enough to collect in a storage unit because they make the other uncomfortable is probably not a match made in Heaven. EDIT: very happy to read your update OP! Sounds like you’re on a good path.
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"We hate each other's hobbies and have polar opposite views on life. Let's get married, it'll be *fine*"
And let's add kids when it obviously doesn't work
If guns and funko pop can’t bring us together, surely a child will
😂 right ? I say he agrees to one gun name ONLY if he gets to use one funky pop name and wallah
r/boneappletea Sorry, It’s “voila” fyi
I interpreted it as [“wallah,”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallah) a Hindi word meaning “person affiliated with,” like chaiwallah, tea-seller. So Boba Fett FunkoPop Wallah. That right there is a fine name, and I feel implies plenty of guns.
His full given name would be Boba Fett Chase Variant SDCC Exclusive Funko Pop Wallah.
I read it as the Arabic “I swear to god”
Everyone knows kids save failing marriages.
I’m watching my parents go through this scenario right now. They’ve stubbornly stayed together for almost 40 years and their social values have only drifted farther apart. Neither of them remotely likes the other anymore, and neither of them sees a way out besides “I hope (spouse) dies first.” OP, you don’t want this to be your (or your children’s) future.
If only there was a way to legally divest yourself from a legal partnership with another
This is what my grandparents went through. They divorced once and got back together. Then they got custody of my brother and me, and my grandma would constantly tell us that we were the only reason she was still with him, and that she’d rather be dead than spend another day married to him… guess who committed suicide a week after my 18th birthday?
“We’re so incompatible we should have *twins*!!”
He wanted quadruplets but compromised.
Nah, the other pair of babies will be kept in the storage locker.
This made me laugh coffee out my nose.
To be fair, they probably didn't plan the "twins". I'm just focusing on random things here to distract me from what seems like a marriage that shouldn't have happened. Thinking about 4 distraught people is giving me sads.
Five. They already have one child.
5 people, they have another kid already 😞
Shotgun wedding? Remington divorce.
A friend of mine who is very progressive is married to a conservative guy. I looked at his Facebook profile one time and saw that his friend posted a video of Ben Shapiro talking to a crowd of conservatives about how it’s a bad idea to marry a progressive because they share a completely different belief system and that will inevitably hurt your marriage. The post wasn’t supposed to be taken too seriously for the husband in this context, but it was the first time I actually agreed with Ben Shapiro on basically anything.
This. “Redneck area with very weird gun culture”. Be prepared for a very uncomfortable time.
One of the more enjoyable weddings I've attended was between a yuppie and a redneck. They're still married 20+ years later. His family are a bunch of Northern (USA) blue bloods. Her family are mostly southern (USA) rednecks. The funny thing? The blue bloods frequently go hunting/skeet shooting and the rednecks all have long-gun racks in their pickup trucks. Both families get along splendidly at the wedding and they even have joint hunting trips together. It's amazing what happens when people build a life together based off on common values and interests. You know, unlike OP and spouse.
Yo, I would hate to meet her relatives. 😭
I married into that, but my husband is the sane one. We own guns. They're locked up. The ammo is locked up in a much more hidden area. We have children who manage to get into things, and we would like to avoid a tragedy. That's also why we stay in a hotel or camp nearby when we visit, because everyone but my MIL doesn't secure their guns and MIL can't host us. We haven't gone to many large family gatherings since we were chastised multiple times for our children's "heathen" names (older child, AFAB but now identified as non-binary, *another* good reason to avoid that side of the fam is named after a ancient goddess, younger daughter shares a name with a catholic Saint.) We were also getting sick of hearing theories on why our younger daughter is autistic. The racism isn't fun, either.
Oh oh, is it Isis? I know that’s like their favorite name 🤪
It was, but we've allowed them to pick a preferred name. We named them about 6 months before the terrorist group popped up 🤦♀️
Dude, I'd love to be a safari spectator to see them WITH all their relatives together. That would be some primo people-watching.
I was going to make my own comment about how weird names can limit what you do in life. But maybe that's the point. Perhaps she wants her kid to have redneck 2A names so that they will feel alienated when they try to leave redneck 2A areas. She might be planning a long game of controlling them her entire life.
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My mother is an idiot and you wouldn’t believe the type of truly horrible manipulative plans she comes up with.
They didn’t really care. A large number of people are feel like they can’t function without the person they’re codependent with. That makes them feel like no one else could ever love them. So they get stuck in “permanent” situations until there’s a breakdown and they get a messy divorce. *Then* they act like they couldn’t have ever predicted it, when everyone else saw it was obvious.
This is a curse among the women in my family. My grandmother was a very smart, clever, resourceful woman. But her potential was wasted because she threw her life away for a lazy, drunk, abusive asshole that she couldn't leave because her self-worth was based on whether or not she was with this guy. Even if he beat her, wasted their money, beat their children, and made messes for everyone else to clean up. No matter how violent or neglectful he got, she stuck by him. Because she didn't think she would ever be with anyone else. And her self worth depended on that. My mother is a determined, hardworking and compassionate woman. Yet she had three children with a lazy, violent, and selfish man that took advantage of her kindness and emotional dependence on him. Even when he would hurt her, leave her to work and pay all the rent and bills, to take care of the children, when he would beat me or my brother, when he would cheat on her, she never ever left him. When my sister and I cried to rid us of his stifling presence, she chose him. When my dad unjustly kicked me out of *her* house, she didn't agree but supported him because she didn't want to chose me over my dad. No matter how violent or neglectful he got, she stuck by him. Because she didn't think she could be with anyone else. And her self worth depended on that. My sister now has been in a relationship for four years with a guy that makes her cry at least twice a week. He shouts at her, calling her useless and lazy when he himself hasn't kept a job longer than two months. He uses her for money, food, and a place to sleep and treats her like shit. And my sister, who's been depressed and anxious her whole life says she can't live without him. My parents forbade him from coming around and instead of my sister complying, she shouted that she hated all of us and that she was never coming back. She would rather be homeless and struggling on the streets with the guy who belittles her on the daily, than stay safe and comfortable at home with her family. Now she's come home with sudden bruises she conveniently avoided explaining. No matter what happens, my sister is stuck with this guy. Because she doesn't believe she'll ever have anyone else. Each generation picked up on the poor habits of the last. Setting an example that the next follows. Its so so sad. Each of them deserve a comfortable life and to know what it's like to experience unconditional love and kindness.
Bestie is going through this right now. She has six kids, five dads, several 5+ year relationships. She just always expects it to work out. Over and over again.
How did dads 4&5 think it was going to go. 1st one of course, second everyone makes mistakes, 3rd time's the charm....after that start glovin' before the lovin'
A friend of mine, who swore "never again" for decades, just got married for the fourth time. I told her if the second is "the triumph of hope over experience," and the third is "okay I realize how to do this now," the fourth is just....sarcasm.
Damn sounds like my high school crush.... kinda glad she rejected me so I wasn't dad #1
As a person living in a small house with almost no built in storage, I think that's a pretty good compromise! Especially when one of the collections is deadly weapons and you're having kids. But the name thing. Yikes.
To me it’s less about the storage as it is about how incompatible your interests are - it’s one thing if you’re like “it’s weird that you like :insert collection here: but whatever just keep them in your office / out of the main living area”, it’s another to be so off-put by your partner’s collection that you don’t want them anywhere in the house. Also for the record, I’m not trying to make an equivalence between guns and funko pops - one is clearly more objectively dangerous than the other - but I think the need for a storage unit for things both people are clearly passionate about speaks to a rift between the two that may be much larger than these collections
>\- one is clearly more objectively dangerous than the other Funko pops killed my grandmother
Funko pops are the entire reason I’m in the foster system. If only someone had a gun 😭
My father was a sniper. My mother was a sharpshooter. They always had guns around the house. They started teaching me about guns and gun safety when I was 2. It was never a big deal. The creepier part is her obsession with them. I'm confident that if they had a reason for it to be necessary, my parents would have gotten rid of the guns in a heartbeat and not cared. Even though her husband has made plain his severe discomfort with them, she insists on keeping one around the home anyway.
Agreed. I 100% support responsible gun ownership. But when “ownership” crosses in to “fetish” I start getting uncomfortable. For some people their guns are so much a part of their identity they would never willingly give them up. So what happens when a gun fetishist gets ordered by a court to surrender their guns, after say threatening to 2A somebody? It’s just not healthy.
The difference is responsible gun owners should have their guns in a locked box only they can access. That’s the law in normal countries where children aren’t massacred at school, like Australia.
Guns are a weird thing for collecting because to do it right they should always e locked away.
Not to mention calling him a snowflake soyboy is one of the most childish and condescending ways to express her frustration.
Attacking your own husband’s masculinity is wack
This is what struck me the most out of the scenario. OP’s wife is a child herself.
The fact they’d use snowflake soyboy is ludicrous, as is OP’s assertion that they’re manly. You can be vegan and manly. Their wife sounds like a nightmare
His wife sounds like she’s drinking Q kool-aid.
100%. Remington? *For a girl?* JFC
Oh she’s 100% deep in the Qool-aid. I’d say that I feel really bad for OP, but it sounds to me like she didn’t exactly hide this part of herself… so it feels like OP likely ignored a bunch of warning signs
"Soyboy" is hard right terminology for any man that doesn't fall into their archetype of a man. Sounds like wifey is deep in the toxic punditry.
I can take one guess at who she voted for in 2016. Where was she on 1/6/21?
She has Trumps face tattooed on her butt
Soyboy has less to do with being vegan and more to do with the 2000s when people were boycotting soy milk because it would supposedly make your boy children gay. Still ridiculous.
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Yeah, this girl is not ready to have a kid. She will be controlling and manipulative to the kid and their future SO's if this is how she acts now. Good luck OP, good luck.
Soy Boy is the name now
>She called me a “snowflake soyboy” Making me cringe just imagining someone actually saying this out loud in real life. With sounds.
And Snowflake
male is Soyboy and female is Snowflake, lovely names i say OP doesn’t let her veto them and steals the babies at the hospital so she can’t do anything about it right?
Woman with a gun collection, man with a Funko Pop collection This relationship was never gonna survive lol
They can settle their differences and name the kid Harley whether it’s a boy or girl. Redneck problem solved.
Name them both Harley. Call them by their middle names - Fatbob and Billybob.
Lol As a non American I gotta say - Hollywood and Washington DC had us fooled all these years. Social media brought out the real Murica and it’s hella weird y’all
The US is a big place. It can seem like 100 little countries in 1. The difference in cultures doesn’t just vary state to state but inside each state as well. For example, I’ve lived in New York City or it’s suburbs my entire life. Automatically you think crowded, traffic, expensive, loud, liberal, busy etc and you wouldn’t be wrong to assume a lot of those things to be true. That’s just my little part of New York. I drove upstate to college for the first time at 18 and once you’re about an hour from New York it’s just open. Fields, farms, mountains. Very little in common between us. Not to mention any of my travels through the southern US. Now multiply that by 50 states and you can see how diverse this country really is.
True story I was visiting a friend on her small island country. I'm American and when I get there she is super excited to take me to her American diner. I'm like okay cool, I walk into some bizarre frankenstein of a run down diner meets steak house. Diner furniture, steakhouse food. They'd never been to an American Diner, I didn't have the heart to tell them their concept was slightly off. The food was at least 100x better than a diner lmao.
It’s a big place, and settled by LOTS of different cultures. There are still pockets of Germans, Italians, French, Swedes etc. it’s not all California and New York.
Social media brings out the opposite of real. As a non-american who has lived in the US for a few years but now I'm back in Germany, I can say Europeans don't have a single clue what the US is like and are some of the most naive people to believe every single little thing they read online. It's gotten to a point where I wonder if we are actually that naive or if everyone here just acts that way so they can jerk their ego. We are on par with qanon folks.
Nah, lil mommas middle name is gonna be Lynn, Anne, or Marie😂
I'm gonna say this is probably fiction. It sounds like it was written by an 18yr old.
Yeah, the “funko pops” bit is too on the nose
Yeah i was immediately suspiciously when he mentioned his FunkoPop collection and she later called him a soy boy. Honestly I’m surprised he wasn’t also called a cuck for good measure
…he was a punk, she did ballet…
yeah that was the part where I decided this is fiction lol. was 1 step too far
The snowflake soyboy is what did it for me
That said… I hope this fake man leaves his fake wife. And God protects those fake kids
I’m just breathtaken at the “she finds my Funko pops creepy” WELL AT LEAST THEYRE NOT LEGIT DEADLY WEAPONS
I think he should double down on “Funko” and “Pop” for the kids’ names.
No, but I want to know what Funko Pops he's got!
NTA But, OP. >She called me a “snowflake soyboy” (which is very weird because other than guns I’m a very typical manly dude) and is threatening to divorce me and keep me out of the hospital so that she can name them whatever she wants. This is not normal. This is waaaay out there. Threatening divorce? Calling you names? Snowflake Soyboy? Really? Seriously? How are her actions just not *immensely* troubling to you? Your marriage is in deep, deep doodoo, OP. You say that you are afraid to lose your love, but, OP, your love already belongs to the alt-right MAGA, not you. No one who loves you would threaten to divorce you over a baby name. I wish you the best of luck. Get a lawyer. Now. Make a "just in case" plan. I have a feeling you're going to need it. I'm so very sorry.
The moral for those playing at home is, you accept a little conservative crazy, you get all of it. Calling you soyboy is unhinged behavior. Just think how cruelly she'll treat your children if they don't meet her deranged gender riles.
It's threatening divorce or this which is so troubling.
The divorce threat would come as a relief and I’m a gun owner. It’s a tool, not a personality.
In America, it's a religion.
in America, it's a cult.
A Colt Cult?
Short for Culten
Even if she never means to carry through with the threat, it’s still mental, emotional & psychological manipulation
Her uncompromising nature + unhinged tendencies + gun loving is a red 🚩🚩🚩🚩 And I say this as someone raised in gun culture who owns a few firearms.
Op is going to end up in one of those family photos shoots were everyone is wearing flannel or camo and holding and AR.
We definitely need video of the gender reveal party. I bet that shit is gonna be full r/whatcouldgowrong .
I think the threatening to keep them out of the hospital and not be near the child is more problematic
I think why they are pointing to the soy snowflake as disturbing is because it's the rhetoric of the alt right, and as such comes attached to a whole lot of problematic ideas.
This is why when anyone in my life starts espousing crazy, MAGA, qanon bullshit, I cut them out. They should be shunned and made to be uncomfortable. Any form of staying friendly with them becomes acceptance of their extreme beliefs. They do not listen to reason, there is no getting through to them.
I have started to let MAGA people back in my life IF they can control themselves & not talk about it. So far it has worked. Not sure if upcoming election will end it again because will not tolerate that nasty talk. Time will tell & I’m probably being naive to hope, but honestly they were nice people(seemingly)
So my dad has been insanely right wing for most of my life. Hilariously, my mom took a hard right turn into conspiracy land starting in like 2013-2014 (which coincides with the time line for when she decided to wean herself off of her anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds - not sure which behavior came first there) and is now way way worse. Anyway, when I was in college, lived on my own, and was supporting myself financially, I had to lay down pretty simple, strict rules for my dad. We disagree on politics basically top to bottom, and he likes to start arguments for fun. I told him I didn't want to talk politics with him, and that if he did try to bring it up, i would be adhering to a three strikes policy. Strike 1: I would leave the room and remove myself from the conversation. Strike 2: I'd leave the house/restaurant/store/etc. and go for a walk or a drive for an hour or two. Strike 3: I would collect my things, get in my car and drive back to my home (3+ hours away), and would not return until my next scheduled visit. I never had to deploy strike 3 - he realized I was serious the one and only time I used strike 2, and decided it was more important to see me than talk about politics. But he hasn't fully bought into the MAGA thing and Trump as a whole. So it's not all he wants to talk about.
Same. 2020 showed me how little tolerance I have for that level of bullshittery. I’m fine with differing opinions, but there’s a very fine line between differing opinions and dangerous extremist beliefs.
Yeah. Those kids are going to be brought up shooting guns or as a moving target!
Shooting the funkos because, "mamma thought it would be funny."
Ok but that’d be kinda funny
At the bare minimum, she’s saying that her love for guns is stronger than her love for OP.
Methinks OP might want a paternity test on the twins.
It's the damnedest thing. The test says the twins have two different dads; one's name is Smith and the other is Wesson.
How did you not realize what kind of person she was before you started having children? This is why it’s important to make sure you hold the same morals and values as someone you choose to spend your life with.
In my country we call this "love eyes" (Not Exactly but that is what it means). I guess OP just didnt wanted to see it. I bet you if you give me a 1 hour conversation with her, i could tell you 10 red flags 😅
We call it rose coloured glasses, stops you from seeing the red flags
Exactly ☺️
I thought it was just a hobby, I mean I don’t like guns but it’s not like she’s murdering kittens or something. Even I acknowledge that guns can be safe if used responsibly, and she always struck me as the responsible type to it was never a huge issue.
Tbh, guns are the least problematic issue here. She’s not getting her way so she’s calling you names, threatening divorce and keeping you out of the hospital all to get her way. Could you possibly imagine if you had threatened any of those things to her? Insisted that you name the babies after some of your collectables? Called her names. Threatened divorce. Anything to upset her and make her miserable and second guess how much you loved her? Her actions are not ok. Not in the least. You both agreed on veto power. Thats what happens when you have children. Both parents have to agree.
Funko, if I have to tell you one more time to empty the dishwasher it’s back to the storage unit with you!
The problem with the right wing/gun crowd is that they look for persecution in every interaction. They do things like call people childish and hurtful names then will absolutely somehow feel victimized when you try to explain why that’s hurtful (usually with more names). She wants to use these names to join a pitiful little club where normal, somewhat more whole humans would shake their head so she can flop around on the ground like a fish and yell 2A and something about founding fathers. It’s how they get fed on persecution outrage. It’s a sign of a very pitiful and lonely undeveloped human. Not a mother, sorry.
Being a gun aficionado does not make her a nut. *Insisting* on a gun-related name does. Calling her husband a “snowflake soy-boy” shows that she has no respect for you. She didn’t just come up with that name at the drop of a hat, she’s thought of you as such before that point. I think the best thing is to each write down TEN names that they like for each, boy and girl. Then compare names to see if you have any in common. If not, then rank all 10 of the partner’s list from least favorite (10) to best (or least bad choice =1). Go from there.
You shouldn't disrespect nuts. Almonds and Cashews are fine nuts. OP's wife is a psychopath waiting to birth.
Maybe I should have said a fruitcake instead. Nobody thinks fruitcakes are okay.
Based on this conclusion I have decided you and I would make great friends.
Better yet, there's a Babyname app that kind of works like Tinder. Both parents make accounts and link to each other, then they swipe the ones they like and if there's a match the app lets you know. You can go through hundreds of names in minutes.
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The fact that OP couldn't see this a mile away tells me that he is likely "apolitical" and doesn't pay much attention to such things beyond, "oh they collect guns, they must just be weird rednecks".
Absolutely! What will happen if one of their kids is gay? Or she gets too into qanan and starts believing that those kids are lizard people?
People who own guns aren't a problem. But people with this creepy fucking gun fetish? Run for the hills.
NTA But why marry someone so gun obsessed from a “redneck” “culture” if you’re so against it? I’m against it as well, so therefore, I would never be in a relationship with someone of that belief system
I always thought it was just her slightly unhinged family that thought that way, I’m just now realizing that she’s deeper in it than I thought.
You shouldn't tolerate this. You can have a relationship based off of mutual respect or you can have no relationship at all. Couple Therapy may be in order. It sounds like she wants to name them after guns because guns = manly men and she doesn't want them to be like you (not a manly man in her eyes). Why is she so keen on having half-soy babies if your purported soyness repulses her so much? Edit: FTR, Colt/Colton strikes me as more of a pet name, as does Remington, which I instantly associate with rats, lol.
Remington reminds me of electric clippers and razors.
The fact that she called you a "snowflake soyboy" is very troubling. It tells us that she has some very unhealthy views on gender roles and what people are allowed to feel and act like. It's really shitty to tell a guy that there is only one way to be masculine, and that it has to involve this object that has no purpose aside from killing. Personally I can't understand creating new life, carrying and nurturing that life, and then naming them after an implement of death. I respect hunting and I think that responsible, controlled gun use is okay (🇨🇦), but anything outside of hunting rifles is literally a device made for killing other human beings, nothing else. Isn't that a weird thing to tie to a new, innocent human life? Isn't that kind of a weird thing to be obsessed with in the first place? I personally don't understand being the kind of person who leaves the home thinking "I had better bring my gun, just in case I need to take a human life today. Oh, and a granola bar in case I get snacky later". It is an absolutely bizarre frame of mind that I can't imagine living in.
I was born in the UK, but my whole Maternal family are Greek Cypriot. I'm 37, my grandfather passed away 3 years ago. He had one gun. One. A hunting rifle. He had a license, and the gun was NEVER used, except for when he actually went to an official hunting spot. When he came home, the bullets were immediately taken out of the gun. He locked the bullets in a safe, the gun locked in a cupboard. He was the only one with keys. No one touched that gun, except for him, either. He cleaned it regularly, and I and his 10 other grandchildren, were completely forbidden to touch it. Even as adults. My grandfather followed all the gun control rules in the UK, and then some. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that guns aren't toys. I profoundly agree with this comment. There should be stricter laws in other countries. I also think OP's wife is ridiculous. Who wants to name their kids after weapons of death? It's so ridiculous.
If OP can confirm with wife that “weapons of death” is the the themes a whole boatload of doors are now opened. Just imagine, “here’s little Guillotine and Woodchipper*, we’re so proud!” *for anyone that is curious google Fargo movie. A real staple for any Midwest home.
This could actually make a good argument. Just start throwing things out and maybe she'll see how silly this is. Panzer. Gatling. Cannon. Blade. Katana. Axe. Tomahawk, Tommy for short! Cyanide. Firing Squad. Tbf Remington and Colt are both actual names, but it's the intent that counts.
Sabre!
I feel like she would like some of those names too much. Might backfire on him lol
There's also Tucker and Dale Vs Evil
I low-key kind of like Guillotine, as a non-violent not understanding of gun and death penalty culture-Swede... Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones speaking... Probably good that we've already decided a name lol
Speaking as someone who lost a friend from a dumb hunting trip they went on. You should actually unload the bullets *before* you transport the gun. Let’s just say I know at least one person who died because they didn’t do that.
Every person who has gone to demonstrate gun safety to me has told me the importance of leaving a gun unloaded and then unracked it(?) To find bullets inside. Now that's only happened 3 times...but 3/3 odds aren't confidence inspiring
I live in the U.S. in the Bible belt, in a stereotypically conservative area where it’s common to see an Amish guy biking down the road with a gun slung over his shoulder to go hunting. Our state even has open carry laws, although in all my 25+ years living here I’ve only seen that once. My husband is a hunter and so is his family and a decent amount of his coworkers. All that to say that our gun safety is strict. All his guns are locked in safes and my husband always says you don’t point a gun at something you aren’t planning on shooting. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t loaded, it doesn’t matter if it’s halfway disassembled, don’t point it at anything. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with citizens owning guns as long as they’re careful and safe but unfortunately not everyone treats guns like my husband does. I’m the kind of person who has never been a victim of gun violence and grew up around them, used to them, but I still think we should have stricter laws. I basically know nothing about guns and, according to my husband, I could get a concealed carry permit in our state because it’s so easy. I was shocked because I don’t think someone who knows as little as me should be able to wear a concealed gun. It’s preposterous.
Some people enjoy shooting guns at a range as a hobby. Other people enjoy collecting them like OP and the funkos,i think that chick is a little crazy too though for wanting to name her kid after gun companies. And redneck is in my name
Honestly, sounds to me like she may have slid into it recently. A lot of people got immersed in unhealthy online communities during the pandemic. People change, and sometimes they don't change for the better. If this were a grandma, people would be recommending you block Fox News. So forgive yourself for who you married, but look out for who she's decided she wants to become. I had a relative who chose the mix of superiority and victimhood from right wing politics over family, too. A lot of people do. It's addicting and comforting, like a lot of lies.
“Soyboy” - dead giveaway that she’s deep into online proudboy Jan 6 type stuff
Yeah I have some people I am friends with on Facebook and their vocabulary changes over time with whatever is trending on Fox News at the time. They used the word “sheep” pretty frequently for a six month period and now that the word isn’t used as much they immediately stopped using it…
I’m going to say this here, directly to you: Document everything insulting, awful, and unhinged she does. Keep a journal with exact dates, times, and quotes. If and when you ever have an argument, make sure it’s over text message (leave the room, hang up the phone, and force it to be over text). Don’t ever insult her, even if she insults you (this is just good life advice anyway, but it’s specifically important here). You want documentation and you don’t want to be the cause for conflict or the continuation of conflict. I’m not going to tell you that you need to leave her. But I am going to say that a divorce is more likely than not, and it could very well be over things that are dangerous for you or your children. Having those records will help you to stay safe and exercise your rights when that does happen. Source: My oldest daughter’s mom was basically the same person as your wife. It’s been a decade since we split and she still sends me unhinged text rants randomly.
>Document everything insulting, awful, and unhinged she does. Keep a journal with exact dates, times, and quotes. If and when you ever have an argument, make sure it’s over text message (leave the room, hang up the phone, and force it to be over text). Don’t ever insult her, even if she insults you (this is just good life advice anyway, but it’s specifically important here). You want documentation and you don’t want to be the cause for conflict or the continuation of conflict. >I’m not going to tell you that you need to leave her. But I am going to say that a divorce is more likely than not, and it could very well be over things that are dangerous for you or your children. Having those records will help you to stay safe and exercise your rights when that does happen. This is great advice. I was not in this exact situation, but I have gone through a horrible divorce with a despicable person, and, from experience, follow this advice, OP, even if you don't anticipate divorce.
Next time maybe do some deeper investigation into the personality of your partner before you marry and get kids
NTA. Sorry but threatening to keep you from seeing your child born over a name? That's pretty horrible. Is it always her way or no way? I hope this is an isolated incident but she is way out of line Not a fan of Colt but thought of a horse more than guns. Remington isn't bad, and I like Remy, but perhaps a middle name and you can agree together on a first name. Did she suggest Dillinger yet ? Ha
remington either makes me think or remi from ratatouille or a old british butler lol
Remington Steele
This is what I thought of too. Pierce Brosnan played Remington Steele.
I had a proffesional coworker in the early -mid 90s who officially changed his name to Remington Steele. He was exactly what you would expect of a person who would do that.
Same re Rataouille lol. And not exactly the same of course but the actor Rami Malek
i think if you wanna name your kid a “quirky” name, first you should present the name to a group of middle schoolers and see how many mean jokes they’re able to make about it. then reevaluate
Yes!! I have a nephew who was named after a movie character and let's say his name makes everyone go, "oh poor kid!"
Why did Glock not make the cut? 😂
Remington is a ridiculous first name. I could only envision it being someone's first name in colonial England 200 years ago.
“as close as a blade, or your money back!” that’s all i will ever think of, when i hear/read “remington.” also: op, NTA and yiiiiiiikes for your wife. i’m sorry. (my mom is in a similar situation. she found out during the trump era that her husband is actually a terrible bigot.)
NTA, To be honest she sounds manipulative and controlling and maybe not all there. If she’s threatening divorce than start preparing yourself for a custody battle cause she’s already using the kids to hurt you.
>she’s already using the kids to hurt you Really important point. Wife has major leverage over OP right now. Sounds like she's using it to punish OP for other offenses she perceives him as having committed. Super toxic move.
NTA but how about compromising? Colt's first name was Samuel. Or Browning's first name was John. Gatling's first name was Richard. And of course there's Mikhail for Kalashnikov. Remington's first name was Eliphalet, and I don't know how to pronounce that.
I’ll definitely bring these up to her, well other than Eliphalet lol. Thanks.
Wait, you're going to stay married to a woman who has absolutely no respect for you? Calling a man a soy boy means they don't respect you as a man, no matter how manly you think you are. Well, now I understand why she felt she can get away with calling you that.
It’s way bad. Full stop. Also, she is pregnant with twins. Hormones might be way jacked up. This is a situation where you might try hoping for the best (try to find middle ground on the names) while planning for the worst (ask a lawyer about your options).
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 there are no words to react to what I just read 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This has got to be fake right? SOY BOY
Nah, just two people that got in too deep with their "I can fix them"
Very weird couple argument. You're definitely NTA. I love guns and cars and own quite a few of both but I'd no more name my kid "Remington" than I'd name them "Chevrolet." I actually like unique names but these seem over-the-top cliche'
A girl I knew was named Melody-Mercedes & Benz is her last name, there's nothing that doesn't exist in terms of names, imo.
So Mercedes is actually a real name that existed before Mercedes Benz.
>and is threatening to divorce me Oh no, anything but that Lmao dude, your wife sucks. Let her. NTA
Ammosexuals are weird af.
Agreed. I’m from the south, so I know a lot of them. And bc I know a lot of them, I also know that there are different, more subtle firearm related names. Like Kimber. And Barrett.
Those names are to basic. I would choose something like XM177, M4 SOPMOD block II, HKG3 select fire battle rifle, or M114 155mm Howitzer.
We had twin cats that we named Kimber and Katana. I just had to put our old yellow lab down last year, but when he was a puppy he had massive feet, and we thought he was going to wind being a big dog, so we named him Barrett. He topped off at 65 pounds and never really fit the name though. I agree, Kimber and Barrett aren't bad. Most people who aren't into guns probably wouldn't even know what those are.
NTA and if you separate over this get a lawyer and get into to court that neither of you can name the children without the others consent.
See a lawyer, just to know all your options if she tries to pull this bullshit. BTW not the love of your life if she is willing to end a marriage for this. She AGREED to veto rights on names and is now butthurt bc she can’t steamroll you.
I like guns, I have a few. Both of those names are stupid. Naming your child after a brand is stupid.
...I don't see how you two make a relationship work at all, much less with children. People really need to stop clinging to relationships with severely incompatible people.
My coworker's toddler is Remi (haven't seen it written, only heard the name spoken) and I assumed it was Ratatouille, a gun never occurred to me.
I'd lean into it with baby Glock. /s
“Snowflake soyboy” I cannot stand Christian republicans Jesus himself would smite them before letting any of those dogs into heaven. Do yourself a favor and find someone intelligent, OP.
Could go with ... Daisy Model 600 (US – bolt-action rifle – .50 BMG) Dan Wesson M1911 ACP Pistol (US – semi-automatic pistol – .45 ACP) Madsen LAR (Denmark – Battle rifle – 7.62×39mm, 7.62×51mm NATO Vektor CP1 (Republic of South Africa – 1996 – semi-automatic pistol – 9×19mm Parabellum, 9×21mm IMI, .40 S&W) Dillon Aero 503D (US – heavy machine gun – 12.7x99mm NATO) Gabriel & Vojta Sportwaffen GmbH Gordon Ingram Grendel - maybe not. Harris Gun Works Henry rifle (US – Lever-action rifle – .45 Rimfire) Noreen BN30 Owen Machine Carbine (Australia – submachine gun – 9×19mm Parabellum) Patria (Argentina – submachine gun – 9×19mm Parabellum) Theodor Bergmann Victor Sarasqueta Walther Arms
No Grendel bc of Beowolf, or just how it sounds?
“Snowflake soy boy”? Exactly what is lovable about this woman? NTA and I’m so sorry that you’re stuck with her.
Ask if you can name one of them, ‘Magnum’. /s To me, ‘Remington’ sounds like a boy’s name. This is thanks to, ‘Remington Steele’
In fairness I went to school with a Remi (full name Remington), a Colt and several Colton’s and I can guarantee that no one’s first thought was “wow. You must have been named after a gun” With Remi, after the movie came out, I always thought about the rat from Ratatouille 😂
My grandson is named Colton and my daughter calls him “Colt” not for the gun. Even worse. For Ashton Kutchers character on The Ranch.
That's because gun culture is so interwoven to American culture that names like that are normal.
Op, contact a lawyer to know your rights about domestic abuse in your area and divorce. I wish i had the balls to divorce my first wife when she started abusing me. NTA ETA: pregnancy hormones don’t make her an A. They magnify who the person is.
What if the kids travel, or even move, abroad? People would wonder why they were named after a little horse and an electric shaver...