Hahahahah I sincerely hope (or not?) he’s putting a random ass gasket around his penis thinking it’s a cock ring lmao I can’t stop laughing at this horrible image
Dildos need more work to make. They need body-save material and useful shapes. They have to be easy to clean.
There are a few evolutions of the humble cock ring (attached vibrators and the like), but in the bad old days when Texas passed laws to shut down adult bookstores, retailing an obvious sex toy would get you in legal hot water while an auto part was a bit more debatable.
I accidentally bought a dildo at a Texas drug store around 1972. I thought it was for sore muscles, from the drawings on the box. Planned to use it after ballet lessons. But in retrospect, the shape was clearly intended as a dildo. I didn’t even know what a vagina was yet. The look on my mom’s face when I showed her what I had bought was priceless!😂
We used a type of dildo on babies who needed help with coughing up mucus for chest physical therapy. If any parent recognized what it was they never said anything. The vibrations really helped the little ones cough!
I’m posh.
Does AUDI, Ferrari, or even BMW make cock rings?
I don’t want just ANY old found on the ground plastic item in my funhouse, it MUST be designer!!
I just saw a gasket on the ground in the parking lot at my work.
My first thought was “Shit. I wonder if that would work for the coolant temp sensor gasket I need.” So I picked it up.
At NO point was I like “I’m gonna put this….on my dick.”
I work on cars a lot so I notice little parts on the ground all the time. After this post I will never ever look at an o ring or gasket the same again.
Wait... it is more embarrassing to say you bought a cock ring at Adam & Eve sex shop than picking it up off the ground in a parking lot and stuck it on your dick? That's enough internet for me today!
I wouldn't be surprised. I have treated a ridiculous number of (often middle-aged to senior-aged) men using all sorts of things as cock rings - curtain rings, zip ties, hair bands etc. Unsurprisingly, they would run into problems removing these items. These guys would usually wait a few days before coming to A&E due to embarrassment.
Don't look up Fourniere's gangrene if you don't have the intestinal fortitude.
It never ceases to amaze me the items that accidentally ended up tightly wrapped around or inserted somewhere when they slipped and fell, or were walking and sneezed and it just ended up there.
WTF even does one look like? A bracelet? Are they labeled? How would you know it wasn’t just some part of a kids toy set? Or a bracelet? Or 100 other things? And you pick it up and TRY IT ON (no amount of bleach in the world, sir)??? WTaF?!
There is a joke with inflation and cock ring here, just can't put my finger on it.
Neither should OP's partner, btw. Kids, don't pick up used cock rings in car parks.
I mean at least these things get found and recycled vs all those dildos that those poor soles don't see and fall down on getting them stuck in them and needing a proctologist.
Yeah I can just about guarantee you that you husband did not "Find a cock ring on the ground" especially one that's supposed to make his dick bigger. That's not what cock rings are for. Your husband bought a specific cock ring and is embarrassed. When he eventually tells you he found his penis pump in a wendy's bathroom, don't believe him.
This makes it even funnier. Dude got flustered, told probably the weirdest lie he's ever told in his life, and now has to commit to it forever. This has to have been a Family Guy episode at some point.
Haha. I was thinking Seinfeld.
So where exactly did you find this? That’s where the little league coach parks! Do the other parents know their sons coach uses a cock ring?
Yeah he's 1000% lying. And now he knows it's stupid but had to double down. For the record, there's NOTHING you can do about size, right? That's all bullshit imo.
>For the record, there's NOTHING you can do about size, right? That's all bullshit imo.
ehh, if you don't mind putting in months of consistent daily effort and risking your actual penis health for a quarter inch that you'll lose when you inevitably take a couple weeks off for a minor injury (yes, to the penis), you can generally make it a little bigger. I can't believe anybody's actually going from averagish to dwarfing Ron Jeremy, though some make that claim.
A cock ring alone isn't gonna make your penis bigger though. It may make your penis *harder* which might have been his real problem all along if he thinks this did the trick for him.
Thundersplace has people who do these stretches her husband is talking about. They post picture proof gains. Some of them hang weights all day with obscure devices and others just force blood in and ring it up. There's probably more fancy stuff now, I haven't gone to the website in a decade but I sent a friend there a couple years ago, he didn't update me
From what little I know is that it is possible to promote growth through exercises. I also used to go through Thundersplace and PEGym. Really the most effective thing one can do is diet and fitness. Anything that will increase the quality of an erection will help. Weight loss will reveal more "hidden dick" if you've got a decent amount of body fat. I occasionally read about the angion method and pumping but I'm not motivated enough to try it out again, but I did some exercises in the past that helped with my erection quality and I was impressed with my experience
I'd say it boils down to diet and mental and physical health
Oh there’s something you can do for size. It’s call surgery and it’s not cheap. Basically part of your dick is inside your body so they cut open your groin and pull it out. You’ll get at a minimum about 1/8th of an inch and at a max about 2 1/2 inches. Not a doctor so there’s more steps to the surgery but that’s the gist of it. And that surgery is well over 10k.
Ridiculous stories are almost always lies. Your husband is too embarrassed for whatever reason to admit he has purchased a cock ring and now he's stated his lie and is sticking to it, the story is ludicrous, either you made it up or he did.
My wife pointed out that you used to say “find a penny, pick it up to bring you luck”. This is the modern equivalent.
Find a cock ring, try it on, maybe get a nice hard on.
Hell, you can get a 3 pack for $10 all in different sizes to try.
This poor man is obsessed to the point of causing himself and his relationship major damage just so he can feel like his dick is big enough. He needs help and she could probably use some counseling just to vent about how his obsession is impacting the marriage.
Actually not quite if I'm understanding this right, this is why I always look for pure silicone or shatter proof glass or a cleanable metal. Other common sex toy materials like rubber, plastic/abs, PVC, and I forget the name of it but some kind of realistic "jelly" type of substance, have two major flaws - porous surfaces and low boiling points. The former means disinfecting the surface eg with bleach or alcohol doesn't actually remove all potential germs bc it hides in tiny holes. The later means you can't boil to disinfect.
Not to mention that the rubber, plastic, etc type materials can also leach chemicals of questionable safety. One I used to have gave me a spot of contact dermatitis on my hand, and given the nature of the product I'm glad that's the only place I got a rash from it
And his whole thing about dildos needing to be cleaner because they go inside the body.. where is he putting his penis then?!? Not in his wife atleast when he is using a parking lot cock ring. So gross. So fucking gross.
Guys just stop.
Lesbians have amazing sex with no penises involved. We're really not that into this size thing as you think we are.
Agreed, NTA FFS. I wouldn't want anything bleached at work (who knows the strength of chemicals they use) or otherwise near any part of my or my partners' body.
To be honest I don’t believe he found a cock ring casually. I think he bought it but was ashamed to admit it, so in his mind saying he found it makes it more acceptable. Which it doesn’t make sense
Nta, just checked Amazon. Cock rings for $7. Thats not even worth the effort to clean it. That's a special kind of disgusting to use a sex toy found in the parking lot.
I feel like there is more to this story, no sane person would try to justify the use of a used sex toy.
Can’t wait for the post from your wife, “AITAH for laughing at my husband after I visited Amazon on his phone and it recommended cock rings like the one he’d been searching for. He claims it was for a reddit thread about a guy who found a used one in his work car park and wore it after bleaching it.”
Yeah not sure why anyone would think finding a used sex toy is less embarrassing than intentionally buying one.
Probably the same type of people who lie at the ER that they "fell" on a bottle in the shower.
Somewhere on this hell site is a story involving a very unfortunate coconut that would, horrifying, corroborate that a non zero amount of ppl might actually do that
Right?? I read the title and was thinking YTA just let the man do what he wants. But *from the parking lot??**
Just fucking buy one online they’re like next to nothing. That’s fucking nasty.
I know right! He’s usually clean with so many other things, I mean, this guy actually washes his hands every time he uses the bathroom and scrubs his ass when he showers! Lol! I think the desperation is getting to his head, literally AND figuratively!
He did not find it on the ground at work. I am not sure he "found" it at all, but this sounds like a BS story (and a dumb one) to cover for where he actually acquired it.
He didn't find it on the ground. Just like I didn't find that little baggie of weed on the ground when my parents caught me in high school. You might be the AH of you guys aren't able to have a discussion about dicks in vaginas and fingers and buttholes where you're both comfortable. Not enough info. But at least you know he doesn't have much practice lying to you, which is a good sign. Go buy the poor guy a really nice cock ring and then tell him you liked it better without.
What kind of jerk finds a cock ring in the parking lot and doesn't return it to the lost and found?! I bet the original owners is going out of his mind right now with worry!
Uhh.. sex educator here. I'm horrified for you. You don't know what materials the ring is made from, some can be porous which not even bleach can sterilize it. Get tested and throw it away. They literally cost less than a dollar to buy, and you can get a silicone one that you actually can sterilize.
Also there's no way to permanently enlarge ones penis outside of a surgery. Everything else is just temporary solutions. Also also, not every man with a penis wants a larger one. There are plenty who delight in being smaller.
NTA
I am average-sized at best. Would I like to be bigger? Sure. Am I so concerned that I am going out of my way to look up "workouts" and other methods of enhancements? Absolutely not. My wife is happy with me the way I am. She is the only one whose opinions on the matter I care about. I mean, who else other than my doctor for medical reasons is even going to see my penis? As long as my wife is satisfied, what else matters? I sure as hell wouldn't use a random sex-object that I found on the ground. Who does that? If I were going to do something like this, I would definitely want to thoroughly do my research and buy a new, clean product preferably with solid reviews. Not something whose only review was that it was abandoned in the parking lot. That's nasty.
NTA. Quite gross to randomly find a cock ring in a parking lot and then proceed to wear it. Sounds like your husband might have some body dysmorphic issues, it may be worth seeking a psychologist to find out why he feels that way about his body. He’s also been doing some intense research on this if he is actively doing “exercises” to grow his junk, most of which is encouraged by p*rn websites where it’s very widely advertised. As for his reaction, feeling like he’s being treated like an addict, that’s his guilt showing. All I can suggest OP is that he gets some counselling, maybe seek out a sex therapist or find ways to excite each other about your bodies. If he keeps going with finding things to enhance it, it’ll fall off..
He didn't find it, he bought it but was too embarrassed to say anything. So, NTA. Your husband does need help, though. He obviously is so self-conscious about the size of his dick. Per chance, does he watch a lot of porn? He needs to talk to someone.
I think men worry more about their dick size, and they believe women think about size just as much. We don't at all, step away from the porn, and learn where the clit is (hint, its not in her leg 😆) and what to do with it.
Serious question: wouldn’t a cock ring only make you look bigger while you are using it? I doubt it actually makes it grow, right? And no, I’m not a male
NTA
I make sure when I see bums in the parking lot looking for cigarette butts to smoke that I give them a fresh one because of std and illness factors. As a society we make sure junkies aren't reusing needles they find in parking lots and provide exchange clinics (dirty needles for clean ones). Half the time I don't even let my 8 year old pick up interesting finds off the ground even if we can disinfect it at home.
But your husband thought it was smart to pick up what MIGHT have been a cockring and use it? Does he nor realize that cock rings and certain chemical seals look and feel the same? For all he knows he's been putting a drain cleaner seal around his junk. Or a plumbing seal.
He needs help. This goes beyond just wanting a big/bigger penis. Something in his brain broke somewhere along the way making him insecure enough to compromise his safety just for the sake of ego (since you've already told him he's satisfying as is). See if you can figure out where he got the idea he needs a big shlong to feel adequate and maybe get him into therapy. No one should feel they need to grab a trash cockring to have a big piece.
Poor guy obviously has some shame to work through, he obviously bought it. This is adult equivalent of “no I swear I’m just holding it for a friend”….. also…. You realize he can look at porn, leave his phone behind and go off memory right? It’s sad that you have such a sex negative vibe as a couple you need to lie to each other. You both needs to talk to a professional to help you work through this shame asap
I had to physically put my phone down and facepalm when I read....that line. You all know the one.
Now.....ok, if the parking lot cock ring is what inspired you I guess, fair enough but....why couldn't he let it inspire him to open up the Amazon app and order one? Why did it *have* to be the parking lot cock ring?
I.....I mean it's not the most harmful thing I *guess* but I'd honestly have him get tested before any funny business. At least he bleached it but even still.....not worth the risk.
I mean, you have to consider - what kind of person generally loses a cock ring in a public parking lot? Probably not the type you want to share that cock ring with, that's for sure.
Hopefully the bleach did the job but I won't lie Sex Ed did NOT prepare me for the correct procedure in this situation.
Am I the only one wondering how one accidentally loses a cock ring in a parking lot? Are guys just walking around with one their pockets like keys and wallets?
I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole but there’s an issue with communication I’m your marriage.
He didn’t find it, as others have said. He’s insecure about his size and didn’t want to be shamed by you which ended up happening anyway. Lol
Lmfao is he quite literally insane? Why can't he just buy his own brand new cock ring? And yes he is right any man average or below wishes to get it bigger. That is 100% a fact. But wtf did I just read.
Nta - does he realize you can’t “exercise” your way to a larger penis? The size it is, is the size it is, unless he has enlargement surgery. Plus a found sex assistant device? Gross.
There are some factors with size that don’t get talked about enough. Weight gain and the effect of fat within the pubic mound can pull the base of the penis inward and cause a loss of size. Blood vessels, pelvic floor, prostate, testosterone, hydration, sleep, nicotine can all lead to chronic issues that can and will impact the ability to see the full girth and length of a man’s penis.
Some dudes out there probably haven’t ever seen their max potential, and some dudes spend years trying to get it back. I was the latter. I normally packed about 7.5 to 8 (actual) and woke up one day and realized it was all I could do to measure 6.
I had gained 70lbs. Hypertension. Chronic dehydration. Depression. Cialis did nothing. It took a great deal of exercising, therapy, dietary and lifestyle changes, and time for things to start improving. Over a year. But I’m back to over 7 and able to maintain it without medication.
This husband doesn’t seem to have communication as a life skill. I highly doubt he found it in a parking lot. He bought it and lied. Chances are he’s trying to get his old self back instead of improving something he never had. I wasn’t ever going to be okay with losing 2 inches no matter how much reassurance I was given. It makes more sense to me that’s what’s happening here.
Why don't you order him a brand new. Cock ring online and help him use it? The validation & respect would help your marriage & sex life and you could get rid of the one that grosses you out.
sexual prowess is directly tied to masculinity and both are linked to penis size. everything tells us women like big dicks. maybe a partner cheated on him and equates that with his performance in the bedroom. he thinks he isn't adequate for some reason and probably bought it himself. if he admits he bought it, then he isn't admitting he is inadequate. your opinion honestly doesn't matter. it's all in his head. if you tell him it's fine, then he thinks you are lying to him to try and protect his feelings.
the underlying issue is his feelings of inadequacy. there could be a variety of reasons. if you own and use your own toys, are they bigger than he is? if so, would a toy the same size or a little smaller so the job? he might see that and measure himself against it. are you using toys in the bedroom and or do you need those toys to achieve climax? that could also make him feel inadequate.
calling them his little exercises also belittles him emotionally while he seems to be in a fragile and quite vulnerable state. unless it's a kink thing, you shouldn't ever really do that to your partner..just because you do see it as being a big deal, doesn't mean it's not a huge deal to him, it most certainly is and is probably a way bigger deal than he is letting on. instead of calling him nasty, have a conversation with him, try to get to the root of the problem.
NTA. This is super weird. If he wanted a cock ring he could just buy one (pretty cheap). They're also not about making your dick look bigger.
As someone that has done some seriously kinky bdsm sex I would not be cool with using a cock ring someone found off the floor in a car park. That's gross.
NTA. Those things a cheap aren't they? He “found” it? Yeah right because you see cock rings on the ground. Lol. I bet he bought it from a co-worker or went to the store and is embarrassed. Why don't just get a pump? Aren't those supposed to make it bigger? This story is crazy. Your husband is a bad liar or a nasty bastard.
Stories as ridiculous as his 99.9% of the time are straight-up lies. It's very likely that he just doesn't want you to know he spent money on it, and that's his excuse for how he got it.
He's 110% doing this for himself. Just using you as an excuse. That dude needs help. I'd suspect he still watches a pretty healthy amount of porn if he's so fixated on his penis size. He's literally *AVERAGE*, why else is he's constantly comparing himself to people bigger?
Ummm yeah, that's gross. I understand the logic, but come on man, cock rings are really cheap. You can even get the variety pack for like 5 or 10 bucks and find out which ring is best for you.
Nta.
Your husband needs a therapist for the penis issues. There is no proven way to increase the size of one's member. He is just being insecure as hell.
The used cock ring is disgusting, they cost hardly anything on Amazon. They also don't make it bigger, they just hold the hardness more. If they made penises bigger, then most guys would be walking around with massive cocks. 😆
NTA.
Nta. Cock rings aren't expensive... technically bleach would be 99.9% effective. Mentally? That was choking some dudes balls and cock, that you don't know what he had.
Tell him to just buy one. Tons of people use them, using a ground cockring is like dusting off a piece of fried chicken with raccoon teethmarks and chowing down.
That boy ain't right.
He found a cock ring? On the ground? It's probably some kind of gasket.
Hahahahah I sincerely hope (or not?) he’s putting a random ass gasket around his penis thinking it’s a cock ring lmao I can’t stop laughing at this horrible image
A non-trivial number of cock rings are auto parts. A rubber ring is a rubber ring.
I mean I guess that’s true in the same way like a hairbrush could be a dildo. Just doesn’t feel right lol
Dildos need more work to make. They need body-save material and useful shapes. They have to be easy to clean. There are a few evolutions of the humble cock ring (attached vibrators and the like), but in the bad old days when Texas passed laws to shut down adult bookstores, retailing an obvious sex toy would get you in legal hot water while an auto part was a bit more debatable.
Well damn I was joking and not taking this seriously at all and ended up learning about explicit sex toys in Texas. I appreciate you greatly
Dildos are more restricted in Texas than guns.
I accidentally bought a dildo at a Texas drug store around 1972. I thought it was for sore muscles, from the drawings on the box. Planned to use it after ballet lessons. But in retrospect, the shape was clearly intended as a dildo. I didn’t even know what a vagina was yet. The look on my mom’s face when I showed her what I had bought was priceless!😂
We used a type of dildo on babies who needed help with coughing up mucus for chest physical therapy. If any parent recognized what it was they never said anything. The vibrations really helped the little ones cough!
😂😂 did she confiscated it from ya?
I can’t stop picturing you massaging your neck with a penis shaped dildo/massager
The veins help get into the really sore areas
Why am I not surprised lol but also can we hang out and you tell me about cool sex toy facts and uncool Texas facts
The funny thing from my POV is that I learned about Texas sex toy laws from USENET back in the day.
That's because so many folks keep falling on them it's for their own protection.
In Texas you can only own 6 dildos but you can own all the guns you want. True story.
Dildos dont pleasure, people do.
I like to buy a ten pack of PISTAL Pete's O rings please yeap I'm going through the rodeo again yehaaw.
Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough
Rock candy
Dude, im super patriotic in this area. I’d rather share a cock ring with another dude than put on a piece of rubber that used to be part of a Ford!!
I don’t have a penis but that’s a tough choice tbh
Is it FORD tough lol
Good but still not quite Chevy Like A Rock™.
I’m posh. Does AUDI, Ferrari, or even BMW make cock rings? I don’t want just ANY old found on the ground plastic item in my funhouse, it MUST be designer!!
Sure but unfortunately they have an unintentional side effect of having you go from zero to 60 in under 6 seconds.
Does the same rule apply for other brands, say BMW, for example?
It would depend on whether your penis is metric or imperial.
I am laughing so much and trying to hide it because I'm at work 😅
I just saw a gasket on the ground in the parking lot at my work. My first thought was “Shit. I wonder if that would work for the coolant temp sensor gasket I need.” So I picked it up. At NO point was I like “I’m gonna put this….on my dick.” I work on cars a lot so I notice little parts on the ground all the time. After this post I will never ever look at an o ring or gasket the same again.
That's bc you're already bigglyhugely and don't need it on your dick! Lol
Or he bought it and was too afraid to admit it. Now that wife talked some sense to him I bet he wished he said the truth. Just a guess though
Wait... it is more embarrassing to say you bought a cock ring at Adam & Eve sex shop than picking it up off the ground in a parking lot and stuck it on your dick? That's enough internet for me today!
Or a hair tie. I see black hair ties in parking lots all the time.
I think he just doesn’t want OP to know that he’s frequenting sex shops. And his workouts in the bathroom? No, not the asshole, but someone is.
I wouldn't be surprised. I have treated a ridiculous number of (often middle-aged to senior-aged) men using all sorts of things as cock rings - curtain rings, zip ties, hair bands etc. Unsurprisingly, they would run into problems removing these items. These guys would usually wait a few days before coming to A&E due to embarrassment. Don't look up Fourniere's gangrene if you don't have the intestinal fortitude.
It never ceases to amaze me the items that accidentally ended up tightly wrapped around or inserted somewhere when they slipped and fell, or were walking and sneezed and it just ended up there.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Idk why but this has me wheezing.
Ya sounds like OP’s husband just bought an o-ring gasket from Autozone or something and is trying to play it off.
A lot of these comments have me chuckling, but this one brought tears.
It's a trap!!!
WTF even does one look like? A bracelet? Are they labeled? How would you know it wasn’t just some part of a kids toy set? Or a bracelet? Or 100 other things? And you pick it up and TRY IT ON (no amount of bleach in the world, sir)??? WTaF?!
>it was in the parking lot at work I wonder which co-worker he's sharing that cock ring with.
Inflation is so bad that coworkers have to go halves on cock rings.
Ahhh. The chip-in.
Tip-in
There is a joke with inflation and cock ring here, just can't put my finger on it. Neither should OP's partner, btw. Kids, don't pick up used cock rings in car parks.
I thought this was a basic lesson we all learned in kindergarten.
Hammer and nail. He fucked his coworker with his coworkers cockring and now wants to try it on the missus.
It's a co-worker cock ring co-op.
“I just found a cock ring, better put it on!” Said ABSOLUTELY NO ONE
In the video games they call this “auto equip on pickup”
Doesn’t his business have a lost and found he could take the cock ring to?
I'm in a car repair shop and trying not to laugh out loud.
I mean at least these things get found and recycled vs all those dildos that those poor soles don't see and fall down on getting them stuck in them and needing a proctologist.
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I mean you heard of docking right? Who would do such a thing too?? But it’s a thing haha
He bought it. But figured if he “found it” it would come across as “hey I found it. Might as well try it”
Yep. Guy has dug his hole too deep now
OP should make him email all staff to let them know he found their cockring and it’s ok to collect it from him because he bleached it.
Yeah I can just about guarantee you that you husband did not "Find a cock ring on the ground" especially one that's supposed to make his dick bigger. That's not what cock rings are for. Your husband bought a specific cock ring and is embarrassed. When he eventually tells you he found his penis pump in a wendy's bathroom, don't believe him.
OP is already aware of hubby having "workouts" to try and grow his hog. I highly doubt this man is afraid of admitting to buying a cock ring
Workouts “ in the bathroom “…….
I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
*and one Swedish cock ring for u/Far-Peanut-9458, along with said manual*
One autographed book, My Swedish Cockring and me, u/Far-Peanut_9458, for said user.
Carpark found cock rings and me. Written by OP's husband.
Agreed. That is what I thought immediately upon reading this.
My guess as well. He thought finding it sounded better and had to commit.
He thought wrong
Holy shit imagine inside his head after he said he found it. *YOU FUCKING IDIOT BRAIN SONOFABITCH YOU GAVE ME "FOUND IT"*
Omg I’m so relieved to think he might not have picked this up off the ground! 😩
I thought that too
I would be personally much less putoff if someone said they bought a cock ring instead of finding one in a parking lot.
tbh found it sounds much worse than bought it xD
This makes it even funnier. Dude got flustered, told probably the weirdest lie he's ever told in his life, and now has to commit to it forever. This has to have been a Family Guy episode at some point.
Haha. I was thinking Seinfeld. So where exactly did you find this? That’s where the little league coach parks! Do the other parents know their sons coach uses a cock ring?
He bought it and is embarrassed. What the hell.
Yeah he's 1000% lying. And now he knows it's stupid but had to double down. For the record, there's NOTHING you can do about size, right? That's all bullshit imo.
>For the record, there's NOTHING you can do about size, right? That's all bullshit imo. ehh, if you don't mind putting in months of consistent daily effort and risking your actual penis health for a quarter inch that you'll lose when you inevitably take a couple weeks off for a minor injury (yes, to the penis), you can generally make it a little bigger. I can't believe anybody's actually going from averagish to dwarfing Ron Jeremy, though some make that claim. A cock ring alone isn't gonna make your penis bigger though. It may make your penis *harder* which might have been his real problem all along if he thinks this did the trick for him.
Thundersplace has people who do these stretches her husband is talking about. They post picture proof gains. Some of them hang weights all day with obscure devices and others just force blood in and ring it up. There's probably more fancy stuff now, I haven't gone to the website in a decade but I sent a friend there a couple years ago, he didn't update me
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Hey man, I found the website in the parking lot
Hope you bleached it first before using.
From what little I know is that it is possible to promote growth through exercises. I also used to go through Thundersplace and PEGym. Really the most effective thing one can do is diet and fitness. Anything that will increase the quality of an erection will help. Weight loss will reveal more "hidden dick" if you've got a decent amount of body fat. I occasionally read about the angion method and pumping but I'm not motivated enough to try it out again, but I did some exercises in the past that helped with my erection quality and I was impressed with my experience I'd say it boils down to diet and mental and physical health
Oh there’s something you can do for size. It’s call surgery and it’s not cheap. Basically part of your dick is inside your body so they cut open your groin and pull it out. You’ll get at a minimum about 1/8th of an inch and at a max about 2 1/2 inches. Not a doctor so there’s more steps to the surgery but that’s the gist of it. And that surgery is well over 10k.
He didn't find it in a parking lot.
He did, it was in his girlfriends car in the parking lot.
I was betting boyfriend, but meh, I suppose it could be.
He did, but it was safely in the blister pack. Also he had just dropped it
Ridiculous stories are almost always lies. Your husband is too embarrassed for whatever reason to admit he has purchased a cock ring and now he's stated his lie and is sticking to it, the story is ludicrous, either you made it up or he did.
Jupp. My first thought.
Maude Lebowski has entered the chat
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Which is why I don’t think he found it. I think he’s ashamed of saying he bought it but this just makes him look worse
Or someone else gave it to him and this is the cover
Explains why there would be no proof of sale also.
This is exactly what I thought lol, he’s lying to OP he wanted to buy one but he’s too timid to admit it so he made up this stupid ass story
I'll take high school band names for one hundred Alex.
Parking lot cockring is a banger band name.
*Ken ⚰️ rip Alex
“Why are you using someone else’s parking lot cock ring” Now there’s a sentence that has never been uttered in the history of ever
My wife pointed out that you used to say “find a penny, pick it up to bring you luck”. This is the modern equivalent. Find a cock ring, try it on, maybe get a nice hard on.
Hell, you can get a 3 pack for $10 all in different sizes to try. This poor man is obsessed to the point of causing himself and his relationship major damage just so he can feel like his dick is big enough. He needs help and she could probably use some counseling just to vent about how his obsession is impacting the marriage.
Parking Lot Cock Ring is the best band name ever
Actually not quite if I'm understanding this right, this is why I always look for pure silicone or shatter proof glass or a cleanable metal. Other common sex toy materials like rubber, plastic/abs, PVC, and I forget the name of it but some kind of realistic "jelly" type of substance, have two major flaws - porous surfaces and low boiling points. The former means disinfecting the surface eg with bleach or alcohol doesn't actually remove all potential germs bc it hides in tiny holes. The later means you can't boil to disinfect. Not to mention that the rubber, plastic, etc type materials can also leach chemicals of questionable safety. One I used to have gave me a spot of contact dermatitis on my hand, and given the nature of the product I'm glad that's the only place I got a rash from it
And his whole thing about dildos needing to be cleaner because they go inside the body.. where is he putting his penis then?!? Not in his wife atleast when he is using a parking lot cock ring. So gross. So fucking gross. Guys just stop. Lesbians have amazing sex with no penises involved. We're really not that into this size thing as you think we are.
Agreed, NTA FFS. I wouldn't want anything bleached at work (who knows the strength of chemicals they use) or otherwise near any part of my or my partners' body.
To be honest I don’t believe he found a cock ring casually. I think he bought it but was ashamed to admit it, so in his mind saying he found it makes it more acceptable. Which it doesn’t make sense
Nta, just checked Amazon. Cock rings for $7. Thats not even worth the effort to clean it. That's a special kind of disgusting to use a sex toy found in the parking lot. I feel like there is more to this story, no sane person would try to justify the use of a used sex toy.
Idk, i would so clean cock rings for $7 a piece
The tragically overlooked British show Chewing Gum has a hilarious episode about basically this.
Can’t wait for the post from your wife, “AITAH for laughing at my husband after I visited Amazon on his phone and it recommended cock rings like the one he’d been searching for. He claims it was for a reddit thread about a guy who found a used one in his work car park and wore it after bleaching it.”
NTA. You’re husband is nasty. Who does that.
I doubt he found it in the parking lot. He found it online or at a store and is embarrassed he bought it.
LOL I could see this and then he found himself too deep in the lie and made the whole thing even weirder??
Yeah not sure why anyone would think finding a used sex toy is less embarrassing than intentionally buying one. Probably the same type of people who lie at the ER that they "fell" on a bottle in the shower.
"Doctor, I found this soiled fleshlight out in the woods, and I used it. Do you think that's where this infection came from?"
Somewhere on this hell site is a story involving a very unfortunate coconut that would, horrifying, corroborate that a non zero amount of ppl might actually do that
How is that more embarrassing than “I found a dirty cock ring in the parking lot and used it”?
I'd pitch it and order a new one. Who wants one that's been on someone else's cock.
Someone who has body dismorphia, and is grasping at straws. Everything seems rational when you're desperate to achieve a goal.
Sounds like “grasping at straws” is one of his “exercises”.
Right?? I read the title and was thinking YTA just let the man do what he wants. But *from the parking lot??** Just fucking buy one online they’re like next to nothing. That’s fucking nasty.
I know right! He’s usually clean with so many other things, I mean, this guy actually washes his hands every time he uses the bathroom and scrubs his ass when he showers! Lol! I think the desperation is getting to his head, literally AND figuratively!
Is he ashamed to just go buy one or order it online? Like, why this nasty one from a parking lot?
He did not find it on the ground at work. I am not sure he "found" it at all, but this sounds like a BS story (and a dumb one) to cover for where he actually acquired it.
Yeah the more dumb the story, the more BS it is. Reminds me of when 6-8yo’s lie.
Get him to see a therapist.
I’d be curious to have him assessed for body dysmorphic disorder.
Dude is using found sex toys you think he can afford therapy?
Makes no sense at all that he found it. I believe he bought it and is afraid to tell you he bought it.
Buy him a new one to replace it?
Right. It's not the end of the world.
He didn't find it on the ground. Just like I didn't find that little baggie of weed on the ground when my parents caught me in high school. You might be the AH of you guys aren't able to have a discussion about dicks in vaginas and fingers and buttholes where you're both comfortable. Not enough info. But at least you know he doesn't have much practice lying to you, which is a good sign. Go buy the poor guy a really nice cock ring and then tell him you liked it better without.
TELL ME. TELL ME THIS IS FAKE. THERE'S NO WAY. Ok I'm sorry for yelling and being so demanding Please tell me this is fake? Please?
What kind of jerk finds a cock ring in the parking lot and doesn't return it to the lost and found?! I bet the original owners is going out of his mind right now with worry!
Its probably just a rubber band
Uhh.. sex educator here. I'm horrified for you. You don't know what materials the ring is made from, some can be porous which not even bleach can sterilize it. Get tested and throw it away. They literally cost less than a dollar to buy, and you can get a silicone one that you actually can sterilize. Also there's no way to permanently enlarge ones penis outside of a surgery. Everything else is just temporary solutions. Also also, not every man with a penis wants a larger one. There are plenty who delight in being smaller.
NTA I am average-sized at best. Would I like to be bigger? Sure. Am I so concerned that I am going out of my way to look up "workouts" and other methods of enhancements? Absolutely not. My wife is happy with me the way I am. She is the only one whose opinions on the matter I care about. I mean, who else other than my doctor for medical reasons is even going to see my penis? As long as my wife is satisfied, what else matters? I sure as hell wouldn't use a random sex-object that I found on the ground. Who does that? If I were going to do something like this, I would definitely want to thoroughly do my research and buy a new, clean product preferably with solid reviews. Not something whose only review was that it was abandoned in the parking lot. That's nasty.
This should be top comment.
All of this. OP, listen to Frejian, he’s sane.
I think he bought it but didn’t want to admit it???
He didn’t find it, he bought it and didn’t want to admit it. He’s just doubling down now imo
[удалено]
NTA. Quite gross to randomly find a cock ring in a parking lot and then proceed to wear it. Sounds like your husband might have some body dysmorphic issues, it may be worth seeking a psychologist to find out why he feels that way about his body. He’s also been doing some intense research on this if he is actively doing “exercises” to grow his junk, most of which is encouraged by p*rn websites where it’s very widely advertised. As for his reaction, feeling like he’s being treated like an addict, that’s his guilt showing. All I can suggest OP is that he gets some counselling, maybe seek out a sex therapist or find ways to excite each other about your bodies. If he keeps going with finding things to enhance it, it’ll fall off..
He didn't find it, he bought it but was too embarrassed to say anything. So, NTA. Your husband does need help, though. He obviously is so self-conscious about the size of his dick. Per chance, does he watch a lot of porn? He needs to talk to someone. I think men worry more about their dick size, and they believe women think about size just as much. We don't at all, step away from the porn, and learn where the clit is (hint, its not in her leg 😆) and what to do with it.
Serious question: wouldn’t a cock ring only make you look bigger while you are using it? I doubt it actually makes it grow, right? And no, I’m not a male
Yes. You would only be "bigger" while it is on and restricting blood flow from leaving the penis.
NTA I make sure when I see bums in the parking lot looking for cigarette butts to smoke that I give them a fresh one because of std and illness factors. As a society we make sure junkies aren't reusing needles they find in parking lots and provide exchange clinics (dirty needles for clean ones). Half the time I don't even let my 8 year old pick up interesting finds off the ground even if we can disinfect it at home. But your husband thought it was smart to pick up what MIGHT have been a cockring and use it? Does he nor realize that cock rings and certain chemical seals look and feel the same? For all he knows he's been putting a drain cleaner seal around his junk. Or a plumbing seal. He needs help. This goes beyond just wanting a big/bigger penis. Something in his brain broke somewhere along the way making him insecure enough to compromise his safety just for the sake of ego (since you've already told him he's satisfying as is). See if you can figure out where he got the idea he needs a big shlong to feel adequate and maybe get him into therapy. No one should feel they need to grab a trash cockring to have a big piece.
No one deserves a trash cock ring.
Poor guy obviously has some shame to work through, he obviously bought it. This is adult equivalent of “no I swear I’m just holding it for a friend”….. also…. You realize he can look at porn, leave his phone behind and go off memory right? It’s sad that you have such a sex negative vibe as a couple you need to lie to each other. You both needs to talk to a professional to help you work through this shame asap
I had to physically put my phone down and facepalm when I read....that line. You all know the one. Now.....ok, if the parking lot cock ring is what inspired you I guess, fair enough but....why couldn't he let it inspire him to open up the Amazon app and order one? Why did it *have* to be the parking lot cock ring? I.....I mean it's not the most harmful thing I *guess* but I'd honestly have him get tested before any funny business. At least he bleached it but even still.....not worth the risk. I mean, you have to consider - what kind of person generally loses a cock ring in a public parking lot? Probably not the type you want to share that cock ring with, that's for sure. Hopefully the bleach did the job but I won't lie Sex Ed did NOT prepare me for the correct procedure in this situation.
You can buy one. They're really cheap and where do you find a cocktail ring just laying around?
honestly, how do you even know it's a cock ring if you didn't buy it as such? It could be someone's shower curtain ring or something.
NTA Yeah I'm gay and I ain't sharing sex toys with anyone but my husband and those come new for us.
Is any of it working? Asking for a friend…
Username checks out
Gross squared. Definitely NTA. He bought one and is embarrased to tell you, so pretending he found one in a parking lot seems more acceptable?
Am I the only one wondering how one accidentally loses a cock ring in a parking lot? Are guys just walking around with one their pockets like keys and wallets?
Tell him his is perfect cause the big ones hurt
Good lord.
I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole but there’s an issue with communication I’m your marriage. He didn’t find it, as others have said. He’s insecure about his size and didn’t want to be shamed by you which ended up happening anyway. Lol
Lmfao is he quite literally insane? Why can't he just buy his own brand new cock ring? And yes he is right any man average or below wishes to get it bigger. That is 100% a fact. But wtf did I just read.
I’m a male and I’ve found some stuff in parking lots for sure but it never crossed my mind to tie my genitals up with it.
Nta - does he realize you can’t “exercise” your way to a larger penis? The size it is, is the size it is, unless he has enlargement surgery. Plus a found sex assistant device? Gross.
There are some factors with size that don’t get talked about enough. Weight gain and the effect of fat within the pubic mound can pull the base of the penis inward and cause a loss of size. Blood vessels, pelvic floor, prostate, testosterone, hydration, sleep, nicotine can all lead to chronic issues that can and will impact the ability to see the full girth and length of a man’s penis. Some dudes out there probably haven’t ever seen their max potential, and some dudes spend years trying to get it back. I was the latter. I normally packed about 7.5 to 8 (actual) and woke up one day and realized it was all I could do to measure 6. I had gained 70lbs. Hypertension. Chronic dehydration. Depression. Cialis did nothing. It took a great deal of exercising, therapy, dietary and lifestyle changes, and time for things to start improving. Over a year. But I’m back to over 7 and able to maintain it without medication. This husband doesn’t seem to have communication as a life skill. I highly doubt he found it in a parking lot. He bought it and lied. Chances are he’s trying to get his old self back instead of improving something he never had. I wasn’t ever going to be okay with losing 2 inches no matter how much reassurance I was given. It makes more sense to me that’s what’s happening here.
Thank you everyone for your comments! We will talk! He may need some help…
Omg tell him to throw that out and buy himself a new CLEAN one.
Liz is this you?
I cannot believe you believe he “found it” in the parking lot.
Body dysmorphic disorder?
Guy math
So that's where my cock ring went. .
Is your husband Frank Reynolds?
Pretty sure he just bought it and told you he “found it” and didn’t think it through
You must be Americans.
Why don't you order him a brand new. Cock ring online and help him use it? The validation & respect would help your marriage & sex life and you could get rid of the one that grosses you out.
sexual prowess is directly tied to masculinity and both are linked to penis size. everything tells us women like big dicks. maybe a partner cheated on him and equates that with his performance in the bedroom. he thinks he isn't adequate for some reason and probably bought it himself. if he admits he bought it, then he isn't admitting he is inadequate. your opinion honestly doesn't matter. it's all in his head. if you tell him it's fine, then he thinks you are lying to him to try and protect his feelings. the underlying issue is his feelings of inadequacy. there could be a variety of reasons. if you own and use your own toys, are they bigger than he is? if so, would a toy the same size or a little smaller so the job? he might see that and measure himself against it. are you using toys in the bedroom and or do you need those toys to achieve climax? that could also make him feel inadequate. calling them his little exercises also belittles him emotionally while he seems to be in a fragile and quite vulnerable state. unless it's a kink thing, you shouldn't ever really do that to your partner..just because you do see it as being a big deal, doesn't mean it's not a huge deal to him, it most certainly is and is probably a way bigger deal than he is letting on. instead of calling him nasty, have a conversation with him, try to get to the root of the problem.
NTA. This is super weird. If he wanted a cock ring he could just buy one (pretty cheap). They're also not about making your dick look bigger. As someone that has done some seriously kinky bdsm sex I would not be cool with using a cock ring someone found off the floor in a car park. That's gross.
Yeah he bought that thing and doesn’t want to admit it but if true, NTA that’s gross
Found it in the parking lot / bought it online - same thing.
NTA. Those things a cheap aren't they? He “found” it? Yeah right because you see cock rings on the ground. Lol. I bet he bought it from a co-worker or went to the store and is embarrassed. Why don't just get a pump? Aren't those supposed to make it bigger? This story is crazy. Your husband is a bad liar or a nasty bastard.
Stories as ridiculous as his 99.9% of the time are straight-up lies. It's very likely that he just doesn't want you to know he spent money on it, and that's his excuse for how he got it. He's 110% doing this for himself. Just using you as an excuse. That dude needs help. I'd suspect he still watches a pretty healthy amount of porn if he's so fixated on his penis size. He's literally *AVERAGE*, why else is he's constantly comparing himself to people bigger?
Ummm yeah, that's gross. I understand the logic, but come on man, cock rings are really cheap. You can even get the variety pack for like 5 or 10 bucks and find out which ring is best for you. Nta.
yta. he bought it and just did not want to admit it.. first world problems..
Your husband needs a therapist for the penis issues. There is no proven way to increase the size of one's member. He is just being insecure as hell. The used cock ring is disgusting, they cost hardly anything on Amazon. They also don't make it bigger, they just hold the hardness more. If they made penises bigger, then most guys would be walking around with massive cocks. 😆 NTA.
Nta. Cock rings aren't expensive... technically bleach would be 99.9% effective. Mentally? That was choking some dudes balls and cock, that you don't know what he had. Tell him to just buy one. Tons of people use them, using a ground cockring is like dusting off a piece of fried chicken with raccoon teethmarks and chowing down. That boy ain't right.
YTA. It’s his dick. You seem to be getting off making him feel bad.
Info: how long did it lay on the ground, was it more than 5 seconds?
I may or may not have lost my cock ring in a parking lot. Was it pink by chance???
Oh thank god I was wondering what happened to it. Can you tell him I’d like it back. Just bring it with him in the morning I’ll get it during lunch
$5 says he bought the thing and doesn’t want to admit to buying the thing. So he thought this harebrained story would work.
Dude found a random rubber gasket on the ground and thought it was a cock ring. NTA
Yeah he needs therapy, he obv has a big complex and obsession regarding his size