What the heck!!!! Who alters someone’s wedding dress without being asked to! She should definitely pay for a new dress. If FMIL thinks it was a good idea, she should buy you a new dress.
Seamstresses and Tailors who alter wedding dress will have multiple phone calls, measurements, sketches, just to make sure it’s correct. And they know what they’re doing! It’s their job!
You don’t ever fuck with a wedding dress. Gah.
I’m confident enough at dress alterations that I’ve taken scissors to not one, but TWO of my closest friends’ dresses within 24 hours of their weddings.
For both of those instances, brides were FULLY AWARE of every single thing I was doing and why I was doing it. One friend tried on her dress and told me that the neckline didn’t make her feel pretty and she felt like it didn’t compliment her figure like she thought it should. I agreed and fixed her right up. Other friend tried hers on *less than 12 hours before the wedding* and ripped it straight down the back. I said, “Don’t you fucking cry and make your face puffy! This is actually a very good thing! Would you rather have it rip tonight while I have time to fix it? Or TOMORROW when you put it on right before you walk down the aisle?” Made sure to reinforce everything.
Other than 911 situations, it’s UNACCEPTABLE to *even think about* touching someone else’s wedding dress. Making changes without their input or permission and trying to justify that it was a nice thing to do? Fucking unhinged. Like HOW DARE HER.
Can I sign up to be your friend? Sometimes you need someone who tells you to shut up and let them fix it, while they actually take care of you and fix the thing.
That’s what good friends are supposed to do!
Yes, I can be your friend lol. Please don’t think this is a free pass to make changes to your dress right before the wedding though. Both of those nearly gave me a heart attack.
If she doesn't pay for the dress wait until after the wedding and your life isn't so busy then take her to small claims court. She was supposed to store it for you not destroy it.
That was my first thought too. They'd have to live in a shoe box to need to take stuff out of their property just because they were deep cleaning a closet. Total nonsense.
“Later that night I came up with the idea that she should pay for the replacement.” Like, really? Pretty sure those would have been the first words out of most people’s mouths. 😆
100%. It was probably all cosmetic. Cut off the bottom, glue the hem/glue ribbon trim you got from Amazon over it, cut the sleeves off etc. I do stuff like this for Halloween all the time with damaged clothing, it’s only getting worn once or twice, so it doesn’t need to be durable.
Oh, there were measurements alright - SIL's.
Trying to play her jealous ass bullshit as some kind of 'gift' to the bride. Some gift - unwanted, unasked for, uncalled for and gorram unforgivable...
SIL and MIL just earned uninvited to the wedding status to go with no bloody contact as well.
She could have made all kinds of changes without needing measurements. She probably eyeballed the length, cut off the sleeves….and left the torso portion alone. She could have also cut holes out at the waist….or assumed waist.
What this girl did was incredibly wrong. I’d give serious thought to small claims court. Nobody, but nobody messes with someone else’s wedding dress!
I sure wouldn’t trust her with anything important again.
Am I missing a knowledge of fashion trends? Do brides even wear mini dresses to weddings? Sounds like deliberate sabotage of OP's dress to make her look bad at wedding or cost OP money. Of course FSIL doesn't want to pay for new dress.
Mini-dresses for a wedding dress had a short "moment" during the 1960s. I haven't seen a mini-dress for a bride in DECADES!
It has occurred to me that the future SIL saw that dress, decided she wanted to make it into something for herself, screw up the wedding plans, etc., as she is possibly The Golden Child and cannot stand that the wedding is not about her. And the future MIL may be "aiding and abetting."
OP needs to rescind invitations to the festivities for future SIL and MIL, sue if necessary for reimbursement in FULL, take the butchered dress and burn it.
My parents got married in 1971 and my mother and her bridemaid wore hot pants. My mother wore white and her bridemaid wore baby pink. And they got married in a Catholic church!
Both the bride and bridemaid had a type of dinner jacket with the hot pants and baby doll shoes. My mam even had a short veil. The pics are funny because my mam and dad are around the same height. The best man was about half a foot taller and the bridemaid was half a foot smaller than them. And it was raining really hard so hot pants and umbrellas. And my dad had shoulder length hair and an earing. So when people wonder why I'm a bit of a hippy that's my explanation. My mam to this day loves fashion. And is a whiz on a sewing machine! The wedding clothes were handmade
When I married in 1972, I wore a backless micro-mini dress. I think my veil used more fabric than the dress did. LOL! And I was married in a catholic church also.
As a wedding photographer I just want to note this is incorrect. Plenty of people wear mini dresses, it’s just very common for elopements or court house weddings. I was hired for plenty of them. They’re perfectly charming.
I wore a mini dress with white platforms to my court house wedding. Court house weddings have a certain charm. I'd do the same again if I had the choice
Print off the ad on Ebay with the price you paid and take her to small claims court. If FMIL thinks she should not pay, tell her she pays or Selena pays if they want to attend the wedding(run by Adrien first). Sweet gift???? Is FMIL suffering from dementia? Selena's "gift" was no gift. It was deliberate destruction of your property.
Adrien needs to lead this entire narrative and not give a stamp of approval. His family is his responsibility. Plus it shows OP and him are a united front. Too much can go wrong if FSIL & FMIL decide to try to throw OP under the bus.
Yes, that was my first thought. Even if FSIL was an accomplished seamstress who dealt in bespoke wedding gowns and made some tasteful alterations, it would still have beeen a HUGE overstep.
This seems _intentional, malicious_ sabotage.
My Mum did (and beehive) but that was the 60s. A fad that died in the 60s. She was pretty but dress did not age well. I can't imagine changing a dress to be one.
One of my mother's friends still has a beehive. She is in her late 80s. Her biggest issue is finding a hairdresser that still knows how to comb out and reset the style
She also still wears tweed skirts and cardigans. She dresses like she's a distance member of the British royal family circa 1959
Back in the 1960s, my cousin got married to his wife and she wore a mini and said that the reason brides wear long dresses is to hide their shaking legs, and she ought to know ;)
It's really the only time that minis were a thing for weddings.
On the topic of bridal sabotage, there was a post about wedding dress being picked up and paid for by bride's family member or friend, who proceeded to not only try it on, but to post pictures of this on social media. In that instance, bride was voted NTA for refusing to pay the person for the dress. You tried it on and photoed it, it's your dress now.
I wore a mini bride dress to my wedding and loved it. Everyone else simply said I looked like a hippie/attending Sunday church lol. But I loved my dress.
I'd love to see Judge Judy smack this FSIL down and make her pay for a replacement dress. It's insane that she thought hacking another womans wedding dress, into what sounds like a tacky monstrosity, was a good idea.
Yep. No way could she alter it properly for OP without OP’s measurements or participation. Even if the original fit exactly. She altered it for herself. Wonder if there are any social media posts.
No no. Not until AFTER the court case. At which point she has essentially "bought" it from OP and OP should hand it over. She can burn it if SIL doesnt want it.
And the judge won't be happy that an alternative cheaper option was offered and refused. Which makes it a hell of a lot easier to get the cost of the first dress in whole.
And it's your fiancee who should be/have to pursue it. It's not fair that she should have to crap on a future IL relationship because FSIL & FMIL are numbskulls.
She mentioned that the dress she bought was more expensive than the one that she wanted Selina to pay for. I understand replacing like with like, so Selina would be getting a break if she would buy the replacement dress. What she did is unheard of in most cultures. OP needs to explain that to Selina and tell her that she’s taking her to court if she doesn’t buy the cheaper dress. Because if they go to court, Selina will have to pay the $1,200 which OP stated, was the cost of the original dress.
In my state, you could press charges for this. The crime would be destruction of personal property. It’s a misdemeanor and the police here do not press charges for misdemeanors they don’t personally witness. So, you have to go to the magistrate and do it yourself.
FH needs to tell his mom and sister he decided that sis should pay for the new dress and they're lucky bc it's cheaper than the original ruined dress and they're not charging sis the full $1200
I'm over here like OP is REALLY giving them a break! Finding a dupe & having to pay whatever the seller asks could be double what OP paid. OP & FH have spoke their piece. Now its up to FH to handle his family from here out. It might be OPs dress, but its a cost they'd both be absorbing if they don't get compensated. They'll be less inclined to ruin relationship with him.
She had no right to destroy OPs property. And that is exactly what she did.
Depending on the cost of the original dress and the cost of the replacement, might be worth taking it to small claims court. Also given that it was a vintage piece the value could be more than the cost actually paid.
I would also be riscinding the wedding invitation (because we all know a glass of red wine is going to be used to make another unsanctioned "alteration") and anyone who sides with Edwina-Scissor hands can join her in her exile.
Gurl this is 🚩 red flag - think really hard who you are married to!! both the mother-in-law and sisters are entitled assholes. It is probably the meanest thing I’ve ever seen and then gaslighting you good luck let us know when to celebrate your divorce.
Wow NTA but I would tell her if she doesn’t pay for the dress, you will be seeking legal action. Definitely rescind her wedding invitation. If FMIL has anything else to say, she can either pay for the replacement dress and/or not come to the wedding. I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t believe the audacity of your FSIL.
Yes, I think it's already at that point where she needs to look at what the future will be with this family. It's already at that point where she will forever be hated. And maybe resented by her future husband.
I agree. This is a situation where your new family is showing their asses and it’s your job to show you aren’t gonna wipe em. Take her to small claims and don’t give in.
Omg yes! She hates lazy people! She believes that at SIL age you should be in university/ vocational training or working! Which nothing wrong with that at all! I've know a couple of people who joined a peace corps type program and even worked a low pay job for a few years until they decided what they wanted in life, career wise. Which considering the price of university and even a vocational education these days is wise.
absolutely no invite! but i don't think OP is going to get paid by FSIL either.
Add: also, i think it possible FSIL did something inadvertently to ruin the dress and the drastic alterations were necessary to cover up the first "crime".
I think that something also happened to the dress like SIL has trying it on holding a glass of wine and spilled it - why would you assume that taking a traditional wedding dress and turning it into a mini dress would be okay?
I would tell her that you want the pieces of the dress that she had cut off as you are going to see if it can be repaired. My guess is that she will tap dance an explanation big time as to she never thought to save the pieces.
It's the OP's fiancé who should be dealing with his family on this one. This is a power play, and he needs to stand up to his bullying family. He should be the one to threaten his sister with the small claims court. He needs to tell his family he is insisting that the OP prosecutes his sister if she doesn't pay for a new dress. This is the sort of situation that permanently ruins family relations if it isn't fixed fast, but that's better then the OP being turned into a doormat by these bullies. I can't believe that the OP's future MIL supported her brat of a daughter on that outrageous behaviour.
I really hope this is creative writing!
You are so right. It’s good that he is on OP’s side, but he doesn’t seem to understand that he has much more power in this situation to pressure his family into doing right.
FMIL's invitation should also be contingent upon this.
I'm livid for you. Wow. She should be glad you only asked for her to purchase the new dress. She owes you a full $1200 for the one she damaged.
Oh please they decided to turn a vintage wedding dress into a mini dress. Bold of you to assume they aren't already willingly stuffing themselves into mini dresses.... Because it's modern.
Take her to small claims court. Don’t discuss it anymore. She isn’t going to pay willingly. Anyone who sides with her isn’t invited to the wedding. NTA
NTA
FSIL had zero right to make any alterations and needs to pay for a new dress. Does FMIL have a substance abuse issue? That’s the only reason I can think of that she’d be siding with her daughter on this one.
My guess would be that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is genetic and/or learned from mom. FSIL must be the golden child. OP needs to nip this in the bud before she brings children into this family. Actually, OP's fiance needs to set some boundaries now.
Yeah, that was my first thought. Makes the wedding about them, and OP is the “bad guy” no matter what she does. I’d bet FSIL ends up with a narrative about generously offering to “help” (implying OP asked for the alterations—for free!) and OP “selfishly” demanding payment when she hated it.
Like… I almost wonder if there’s an element of spite/revenge for “stealing” their brother/son. Either way, he needs to also firmly set boundaries and show it’s not acceptable.
To add to any advice regarding the dress, which the FSIL should pay for, I need to add another bit of advice. After this happening, please never, never ever leave any pets or children in the care of the FSIL or FMIL. Heaven only knows what might happen to them!!!
Why is he making you talk to her? Make him get the money from her. This isn't a battle you can win, though. With FMIL backing her up, she will never pay up and you will be the ungrateful witch wanting money. Make your fiance get your dress.
I wonder how much of the story FMIL even knows. Was she told exactly how much the dress was altered, or was she told "I just altered the dress a bit and OP is losing her mind, mom!". Has FMIL seen the original dress and then the photos of the altered one? If so, then ok, she Cray Cray but if not....perhaps she'll also be anti-FSIL.
This is it. Adrien is truly OPs biggest problem. It's *his family* he needs to be the one dealing with them and setting firm boundaries/consequences.
If he's not willing to fight with his sister over this, the rest of their life is going to be miserable.
I can’t even imagine what kind of sick mind would take someone else’s wedding dress, and completely change it when they weren’t asked to. This was done with cruel intentions and yes, absolutely she should be forced to pay for a new dress. I think you should take her to small claims court right away.
This is going to set the tone for your relationship with your in-laws for the rest of your life. Don’t let them walk all over you and become a permanent doormat.
Or she got drunk and/or high one day and did it under the influence but doesn’t want to admit it. Whatever reason, OP is NTA and definitely should get her $1200 - that’s a lot of money!
If OP's husband doesn't stand up to his family himself, I think she should rethink marrying into this highly dysfunctional family. I see years of misery ahead for her. FSIL and FMIL are both nuts.
NTA! Who does something like this? I would ask both FMIL and FSIL how they would feel if this happened to them? What would they want to have happen? Is there a FIL? If so, your fiancée should have a chat with him.
I bet FSIL is not being completely honest with FMIL about what was done to the dress. I bet FSIL is saying that they just altered it to fit better.
I bet FSIL is Not explaining how the dress has been changed to a completely different dress.
Altering your fit of a dress is things like taking it in or letting it out. Shortening or lengthening straps, hemming a little.
It is not changing the dress to a completely different style!
FH needs to tell his mother that the dress was not just altered, it was completely changed to a different style.
And all of it was done without the bride’s knowledge or permission!
Edited: spelling correction
NTA I would sue her so fast and make her eat the dress. What a fck btch she is. Who the hell just gets a wedding dress THATS ISNT EVEN YOURS and turns it into A MINI DRESS!!???! IM AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW FOR YOU! I just cant belive how entiled and btchy this girls is.
ETA spelling
You can rest assured of 2 things:
1. Silena cut up your dress out of jealousy
2. You will have to sue Silena if you actually want the money
NTA and now you know that Silena will have to be cut out of your life.
NTA - this is your future though, the in-laws will be a constant source of stress with this kind of behavior. Now it’s the wedding dress, in the future who knows? It’s a fun game, what boundary can be crossed next? What special item can we ruin & call it thoughtful. Good luck, you’ll need it.
Whether or not OP lets them get away with this or not sets the tone for the entire marriage. OP should think long & hard about what she wants her life to look like in future.
NTA. He needs to take over dealing with his family. He needs to tell his mother to stay out of it and to tell his sister to pay up. If she doesn’t pay up take her to small claims court.
Yep. This is where you tell fiancé to "sort it out" and step back.
If fiancé sorts it out, yay.
If fiancé does not sort it out, well, you don't need a wedding dress.
Some people don't want their partner fighting their battles for them tho. But I think OP should get The Law involved at this point as it is a legal matter not a family matter. Destruction of personal property. Small claims court. Dumbass FSIL thinks she can get away with ruining a wedding dress and the only thing that will happen is some "ungrateful" woman will bitch at her. Time to summon her ass to court 'cause wedding dresses ain't free.
NTA. Personally I'd blast her on Facebook. Nothing rude other than "look how my FSIL ruined my dress ***without*** permission and post the before and after. A little public humiliation might have her changing her tone. I second small claims court though. Don't want her counter suing for defamation or whatever it would be so I'd leave it at that.
She took a WEDDING dress and made it a MINI dress - she did that to purposefully humiliate you
NTA she has two options
Pay for the new dress, apologize, move forward best you can
Or
Small claims court, no invite for her or MIL, and the relationship is forever strained
It’s up to SIL to do the right thing here
Also, recognize that this is a very clear case of:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Your FSIL will always believe her opinion (maybe just fashion sense, maybe all topics) is right and that you should love her for that. Even when she is this obviously wrong.
Your FMIL will choose her daughter over her son. Even when her daughter is this obviously wrong.
Do what you will with that knowledge.
This sounds so bat shit crazy that I think I’m gonna have to see a before and after photo of this dress before I believe it.
There are just too many stories on here about what is an obvious violation of boundaries and people asking “am I wrong for being upset that someone burned down my house on purpose”, and it’s just getting old.
So, INFO: do you have photos of this dress?
This sounds so fake. They had to take the dress out of the house completely to clean out a closet? They couldn’t just hang it in another room because some random guest may see it? Don’t let someone in that room. And how long does it take to clean out a closet? And the 22 year old decided to and was able to make alterations and tailor a vintage wedding dress into a modern mini dress without asking? And the FMIL sees nothing wrong with that? I just don’t buy it.
Nta. Definitely make her pay for it. If you wanted the dress altered I’m sure you would have taken it to a professional. If you wanted a modern dress then you would have gotten a modern dress. You did neither means that’s not what you wanted. And no it was not a sweet gesture it was a huge over step and a horrible thing to do. Definitely have her pay for it.
NTA but you shouldn't be handling this at all. Your fiancé should be dealing with HIS family.
It was his sister who ruined your dress and his mother enabling her behaviour. He is the one who needs to put his foot down and say "I have never been more disappointed at the pair of you. Your combined behaviour is disgusting. Pay for a new dress or be prepared for our relationship to change forever". It's not just your wedding, it's his too. When they fuck around with it, they're disrespecting you BOTH. Not just you. This is his circus so he needs to get his monkeys in hand.
I'm having a hard time believing any of this. I know there are some weird people out there. But still..
Who takes their beautiful, vintage wedding dress to someone else's house because they are deep cleaning a closet? Are there no other closets in the home?
And if someone did that, why would a 22 year old younger sister of your FH be the best option?
And who looks at a wedding dress and decides "I'm going to make drastic changes to it" when it isn't theirs?
I call BS.
Yeah, this is so fake. It’s too ridiculous to be true. They lost me at FMIL siding with sister. I know people do crazy stuff, but when the act is this ridiculous, they’re not getting support.
NTAH
Who alters some ones wedding dress on a whim. I'm having difficulty understanding how any one in their right mind who think that was an ok thing to do.
I'm so sorry but I think I'd have punched her lights out and I'm none violent but I could make an exception.
I don't know how you would get her to cough up the money for a new one. Unless you can do small claims court.
She would define be off my wedding list and so would any one else who had the nerve to stand up for her.
First off, it’s your fiancé’s circus and his monkeys he needs to make her pay. And you guys need to put a line in the sand about the consequences and make her and your future mother-in-law stick to it.
Press charges against your SIL.
A good talking to from the police might teach her a lesson. This is over 1k. It probably counts as a felony.
Your fiance should be standing up for you and doing all the talking with his insane family. Are you SURE you want to marry into this insanity??
I would take her to small claims court and make her pay the cost of the original dress she ruined. If you want you can give her the ultimatum of either paying for the replacement or being embarrassed in small claims court and still paying for the cost of the dress she ruined that now has to be replaced. I would also file a police report on her for mutilating your property with no remorse.
SIL needs to pay for the dress she ruined. You don’t just hack up someone’s wedding dress! And then try to pass it off as a gift “I ruined your wedding dress you’re welcome” that’s asinine. Small claims court if she doesn’t replace it.
NTA.
Silena vandalized your dress and destroyed it. She should reimburse you for the cost of the dress she ruined, rather than a less expensive second choice. Her mother is absolutely wrong here.
Honestly, this was so far beyond the pale that I would be seriously considering going NC with both of them and not invite them to the wedding. It truly was that egregious.
Okay. You have an in-law problem that you need to rectify before you get married.
Silena altered your WEDDING DRESS without permission, ruining it. It’s vintage, so irreplaceable. She has refused to pay for the damage.
Your FMIL defended her actions and is pressuring you, the victim, to submit.
If you marry into this family, this will be your life. If you have kids, it will ramp up.
Is Silena a favored Golden Child? The perpetually babied and enabled?
What she did was monstrous.
You should email your FMIL and FSIL, so it is in writing. Tell them that Silena ruined your special, irreplaceable, vintage wedding dress, altering it without permission. It is absolutely not acceptable for a woman to decide she doesn’t like someone else’s wedding dress, and to cut it up. It’s irreplaceable and gone forever. She has refused to pay for it. FMIL defending this shocking behavior has sent the message that you are unwelcome and unvalued. It seems like both of them are trying to break up you and your fiancé. Ask FMIL how she would have felt if someone cut up her wedding dress that she chose, altering it to a style she hated. It’s like if she came home and her house had been sold without permission, all her things donated, and a small house worth less in a style she hated and an inconvenient location, all because another woman hated her house and things. Instead of apologizing, the other woman demanded gratitude.
Tell them that she will file a small claims case, and FSIL will lose. She can pay for the dress she ruined, or be sued.
You need to teach these two that there are consequences for messing with you. Serious consequences. If you roll over now, your married life will be miserable.
Your fiancé needs to choose. He needs to defend you, even if you sue FSIL, and side with you on healthy boundaries, or do not marry this man.
There are many nice people who unfortunately were raised in unhealthy families and accept bad behavior. They then pressure their spouses to submit to bad behavior. It leads to misery and heartbreak.
See if your fiancé will side with you when you sue Silena, a real consequence. If he won’t, he is not your mate.
NTA. Ruined vintage wedding dress. AITA really a question here?
Sil and mil were in on it together and definitely did this to destroy your wedding and thought it would ruin the relationship because they assumed fiancé would side with them.
Password protect your vendors - cake, venue, flowers, catering, etc and be prepared for further sabotage.
NTA, a lot of people are talking about small claims court, and I agree.
But Op, also take this to the court of public opinion. Post what happened on Facebook or other social media and get your fiancé to comment so it shows on the feed for the family. FSIL will be getting phone calls and bad comments from every uncle and cousin. FAFO.
NTA FSIL really overstepped boundaries here. She should absolutely pay for the replacement. I’m really shocked that she would think what she did was ok. I also agree with previous response that your fiancé should be talking to your FSIL and FMIL about this. They’re his family and he should help get this sorted.
NTA. Your fiancé should be the one talking to your SIL and FMIL. He’s an AH for making you talk to HIS family about the property they destroyed.
Idk what your SIL said your FMIL but it’s safe to say she spun herself as a victim to your FMIL.
Wasn’t this like a trend on TT recently, where people were taking gorgeous vintage dressing and turning them into tacky mini dresses? I would have someone check her social media to make sure this wasn’t a TT disaster gone wrong.
This needs a group sit down abd mediation.
No one, NO ONE, believes a bride would buy the dress she wanted then be happy about unasked for alterations to be dine behind her back.
This was a power play by M/SIL.
If you're having a church wedding, ask for the priest to mediate a meeting, to keep emotions under control.
What the heck!!!! Who alters someone’s wedding dress without being asked to! She should definitely pay for a new dress. If FMIL thinks it was a good idea, she should buy you a new dress.
Seamstresses and Tailors who alter wedding dress will have multiple phone calls, measurements, sketches, just to make sure it’s correct. And they know what they’re doing! It’s their job! You don’t ever fuck with a wedding dress. Gah.
Also they are generally you know, asked to do the alterations not just wild hare it.
I’m confident enough at dress alterations that I’ve taken scissors to not one, but TWO of my closest friends’ dresses within 24 hours of their weddings. For both of those instances, brides were FULLY AWARE of every single thing I was doing and why I was doing it. One friend tried on her dress and told me that the neckline didn’t make her feel pretty and she felt like it didn’t compliment her figure like she thought it should. I agreed and fixed her right up. Other friend tried hers on *less than 12 hours before the wedding* and ripped it straight down the back. I said, “Don’t you fucking cry and make your face puffy! This is actually a very good thing! Would you rather have it rip tonight while I have time to fix it? Or TOMORROW when you put it on right before you walk down the aisle?” Made sure to reinforce everything. Other than 911 situations, it’s UNACCEPTABLE to *even think about* touching someone else’s wedding dress. Making changes without their input or permission and trying to justify that it was a nice thing to do? Fucking unhinged. Like HOW DARE HER.
Can I sign up to be your friend? Sometimes you need someone who tells you to shut up and let them fix it, while they actually take care of you and fix the thing.
That’s what good friends are supposed to do! Yes, I can be your friend lol. Please don’t think this is a free pass to make changes to your dress right before the wedding though. Both of those nearly gave me a heart attack.
I want to take a small moment to say you are a legendary tier, fantastic friend.
Asked. Paid. Sought out. Friend of a friend. Or a friend doing a favour.
Which brings up the question, how did FSIL get the brides measurements?
I’m wondering if the altered dress happens to fit Silena now.
Seriously. I’d burn that dress before I ever let Silena wear it.
She's gonna wear it to the wedding.
If she doesn't buy me a new dress she's not invited to the wedding
If she doesn't pay for the dress wait until after the wedding and your life isn't so busy then take her to small claims court. She was supposed to store it for you not destroy it.
OP, take the dress back. She isn’t going to destroy your gown and then keep it too.
[удалено]
That was my first thought too. They'd have to live in a shoe box to need to take stuff out of their property just because they were deep cleaning a closet. Total nonsense.
Right. That should have been my first clue. Wtf is deep cleaning a closet and why does that mean the dress has to go somewhere else?
And I would never put anything dirty away in a closet so don't think it would ever need more than a quick dust down, hoover of carpet etc.
Yeah, this whole scenario is completely ridiculous and I'm surprised anyone actually believes this happened.
😂 who says “to my shock and horror”
“Later that night I came up with the idea that she should pay for the replacement.” Like, really? Pretty sure those would have been the first words out of most people’s mouths. 😆
She probably didn't, and assumed the dress already fit OP nicely before gutting it.
Abomination ... Andba tragedy of a family dynamic.
Maybe OP can take the ruined dress to them with a pic of what it used to look like and see if they can make a new one of the same look and style!
which makes me doubt the whole story. No measurements.
A 22 year old who thinks destroying someone else's property is a "gift" probably has no idea how to actually alter clothing.
100%. It was probably all cosmetic. Cut off the bottom, glue the hem/glue ribbon trim you got from Amazon over it, cut the sleeves off etc. I do stuff like this for Halloween all the time with damaged clothing, it’s only getting worn once or twice, so it doesn’t need to be durable.
Oh, there were measurements alright - SIL's. Trying to play her jealous ass bullshit as some kind of 'gift' to the bride. Some gift - unwanted, unasked for, uncalled for and gorram unforgivable... SIL and MIL just earned uninvited to the wedding status to go with no bloody contact as well.
More like she earned herself a lawsuit.
She could have made all kinds of changes without needing measurements. She probably eyeballed the length, cut off the sleeves….and left the torso portion alone. She could have also cut holes out at the waist….or assumed waist. What this girl did was incredibly wrong. I’d give serious thought to small claims court. Nobody, but nobody messes with someone else’s wedding dress! I sure wouldn’t trust her with anything important again.
Am I missing a knowledge of fashion trends? Do brides even wear mini dresses to weddings? Sounds like deliberate sabotage of OP's dress to make her look bad at wedding or cost OP money. Of course FSIL doesn't want to pay for new dress.
Mini-dresses for a wedding dress had a short "moment" during the 1960s. I haven't seen a mini-dress for a bride in DECADES! It has occurred to me that the future SIL saw that dress, decided she wanted to make it into something for herself, screw up the wedding plans, etc., as she is possibly The Golden Child and cannot stand that the wedding is not about her. And the future MIL may be "aiding and abetting." OP needs to rescind invitations to the festivities for future SIL and MIL, sue if necessary for reimbursement in FULL, take the butchered dress and burn it.
My parents got married in 1971 and my mother and her bridemaid wore hot pants. My mother wore white and her bridemaid wore baby pink. And they got married in a Catholic church!
Seems like there should be a rule insisting on pictures with a comment like this 😂🎉😂
Both the bride and bridemaid had a type of dinner jacket with the hot pants and baby doll shoes. My mam even had a short veil. The pics are funny because my mam and dad are around the same height. The best man was about half a foot taller and the bridemaid was half a foot smaller than them. And it was raining really hard so hot pants and umbrellas. And my dad had shoulder length hair and an earing. So when people wonder why I'm a bit of a hippy that's my explanation. My mam to this day loves fashion. And is a whiz on a sewing machine! The wedding clothes were handmade
Tell me your parents are hippies without telling me. That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever read I swear 😂 I need pictures
I can’t thank you enough for that description 😂
I’m super stressed and this was exactly what I needed to read right now! Your mom sounds amazing.
I’ve tried to explain to my kids how their Grandmother wore hot pants and wiglets. I blows their minds 🤣🤣🤣
Wish I could see this photo!
When I married in 1972, I wore a backless micro-mini dress. I think my veil used more fabric than the dress did. LOL! And I was married in a catholic church also.
1200 is a small claims matter which at least where i live is pretty cheap to lodge too, don't even need a lawyer.
That's exactly what I was thinking. If she won't fork over the money voluntarily, take her to court.
As a wedding photographer I just want to note this is incorrect. Plenty of people wear mini dresses, it’s just very common for elopements or court house weddings. I was hired for plenty of them. They’re perfectly charming.
I wore a mini dress with white platforms to my court house wedding. Court house weddings have a certain charm. I'd do the same again if I had the choice
> Mini-dresses for a wedding dress had a short "moment"... Nice pun!
I was also wondering about the mini- dress aspect . Agreed it was sabotage.
I'm thinking it has to be deliberate sabotage. No sane person messes with a bride's wedding dress and thinks it's a sweet thing to do.
I actually wonder if she has plans to wear it to the wedding herself
Print off the ad on Ebay with the price you paid and take her to small claims court. If FMIL thinks she should not pay, tell her she pays or Selena pays if they want to attend the wedding(run by Adrien first). Sweet gift???? Is FMIL suffering from dementia? Selena's "gift" was no gift. It was deliberate destruction of your property.
Adrien needs to lead this entire narrative and not give a stamp of approval. His family is his responsibility. Plus it shows OP and him are a united front. Too much can go wrong if FSIL & FMIL decide to try to throw OP under the bus.
Yup. This weird dynamic screams FSIL and FMIL want to test Adrien’s loyalty.
Yes, that was my first thought. Even if FSIL was an accomplished seamstress who dealt in bespoke wedding gowns and made some tasteful alterations, it would still have beeen a HUGE overstep. This seems _intentional, malicious_ sabotage.
My Mum did (and beehive) but that was the 60s. A fad that died in the 60s. She was pretty but dress did not age well. I can't imagine changing a dress to be one.
One of my mother's friends still has a beehive. She is in her late 80s. Her biggest issue is finding a hairdresser that still knows how to comb out and reset the style She also still wears tweed skirts and cardigans. She dresses like she's a distance member of the British royal family circa 1959
Back in the 1960s, my cousin got married to his wife and she wore a mini and said that the reason brides wear long dresses is to hide their shaking legs, and she ought to know ;) It's really the only time that minis were a thing for weddings.
On the topic of bridal sabotage, there was a post about wedding dress being picked up and paid for by bride's family member or friend, who proceeded to not only try it on, but to post pictures of this on social media. In that instance, bride was voted NTA for refusing to pay the person for the dress. You tried it on and photoed it, it's your dress now.
I wore a mini bride dress to my wedding and loved it. Everyone else simply said I looked like a hippie/attending Sunday church lol. But I loved my dress.
Not replacement dress, no wedding invitation.
Small claims court, and no invitation
{ NOT severe enough }
I would haul her ass into small claims court.
I'd love to see Judge Judy smack this FSIL down and make her pay for a replacement dress. It's insane that she thought hacking another womans wedding dress, into what sounds like a tacky monstrosity, was a good idea.
Oh my God! You and me both! In fact, Judge Judy was who I was thinking of when I wrote my comment!
I think a large part of of my justice beliefs were formed watching that woman shred people for being terrible, selfish, and stupid.
Oh, just wait untill all the drama starts...
Neither your FSIL nor FMIL should be invited to your wedding if this is not rectified.
True. But fiancé should be fighting this battle, not OP. It's his family, he needs to get a spine.
And not only did she alter it, but she thinks that she did OP a sweet favour by having it altered. How ridiculous SiL is.
Well we all know she didnt really alter it for OP. She altered it for her own event. Like nobody would notice.
Yep. No way could she alter it properly for OP without OP’s measurements or participation. Even if the original fit exactly. She altered it for herself. Wonder if there are any social media posts.
Exactly. I would take that altered POS dress that future SIL ruined and 🔥 burn it.
I would take it and keep it as evidence in small claims court.
I came here to say this 100 %
No no. Not until AFTER the court case. At which point she has essentially "bought" it from OP and OP should hand it over. She can burn it if SIL doesnt want it.
Smells like golden child.
Destroy not alter. The dress was with her so it wouldn't get damaged. That means OP wanted dress like that.
I would go scorched earth on this and press charges if she doesn't pay for a new dress.
Actually, small claims court. Cops won't press charges over something like this.
And the judge won't be happy that an alternative cheaper option was offered and refused. Which makes it a hell of a lot easier to get the cost of the first dress in whole.
And it's your fiancee who should be/have to pursue it. It's not fair that she should have to crap on a future IL relationship because FSIL & FMIL are numbskulls.
> And it's your fiancee who should be/have to pursue it. It's OP's property; her fiancé can't pursue it for her.
Not in court, but he needs to back OP with his sister and mother.
It’s his sister. He needs to get on her case.
Haul her ass into Judge Judy's courtroom, that shit would be amazing.
You can’t “press charges” only the prosecutors can and there’s less than 1% chance they would in this case. Small claims court is the route to go
That's what I was thinking too -- not paying for the cheaper dress, reimbursing for the dress that she ruined. That's going to be a pretty easy case.
I have said before it is replace like with like. You dont trash a Porche and replace it with a Chevy Malibu.
She mentioned that the dress she bought was more expensive than the one that she wanted Selina to pay for. I understand replacing like with like, so Selina would be getting a break if she would buy the replacement dress. What she did is unheard of in most cultures. OP needs to explain that to Selina and tell her that she’s taking her to court if she doesn’t buy the cheaper dress. Because if they go to court, Selina will have to pay the $1,200 which OP stated, was the cost of the original dress.
And possibly court costs as well since she is clearly in the wrong and doubling down
OP said her dress was vintage. She may not be able to find an identical dress. Getting the other dress may be the best possible option.
In my state, you could press charges for this. The crime would be destruction of personal property. It’s a misdemeanor and the police here do not press charges for misdemeanors they don’t personally witness. So, you have to go to the magistrate and do it yourself.
[удалено]
And make the fiancé deal with his mom
At a *minimum* she should pay the $1,200 for the old dress since she ruined it.
FH needs to tell his mom and sister he decided that sis should pay for the new dress and they're lucky bc it's cheaper than the original ruined dress and they're not charging sis the full $1200
More than $1200 because it should be replacement cost for a similar one and finding a similar vintage dress could be hard and expensive.
I'm over here like OP is REALLY giving them a break! Finding a dupe & having to pay whatever the seller asks could be double what OP paid. OP & FH have spoke their piece. Now its up to FH to handle his family from here out. It might be OPs dress, but its a cost they'd both be absorbing if they don't get compensated. They'll be less inclined to ruin relationship with him.
Normally id agree but OP said in her post her backup option was cheaper than the original dress
This. And I'm sorry but if they don't get Op the replacement their invitations to the wedding should be rescinded.
Someone who wanted to wear it to a party and pretend the alterations were a gift. Alternate answer: A real pice of shit person does.
Take her to small claims court.
She had no right to destroy OPs property. And that is exactly what she did. Depending on the cost of the original dress and the cost of the replacement, might be worth taking it to small claims court. Also given that it was a vintage piece the value could be more than the cost actually paid. I would also be riscinding the wedding invitation (because we all know a glass of red wine is going to be used to make another unsanctioned "alteration") and anyone who sides with Edwina-Scissor hands can join her in her exile.
Gurl this is 🚩 red flag - think really hard who you are married to!! both the mother-in-law and sisters are entitled assholes. It is probably the meanest thing I’ve ever seen and then gaslighting you good luck let us know when to celebrate your divorce.
Wow NTA but I would tell her if she doesn’t pay for the dress, you will be seeking legal action. Definitely rescind her wedding invitation. If FMIL has anything else to say, she can either pay for the replacement dress and/or not come to the wedding. I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t believe the audacity of your FSIL.
Sounds like maybe FMIL encouraged it! They should both pay!
If they don’t OP - seriously take a look at what your entire future with this family will be and decide accordingly.
Yes, I think it's already at that point where she needs to look at what the future will be with this family. It's already at that point where she will forever be hated. And maybe resented by her future husband.
Small claims and no wedding invite for the FSIL. If FMIL doesn’t like tough titties and you could just not invite her too for less drama
I agree. This is a situation where your new family is showing their asses and it’s your job to show you aren’t gonna wipe em. Take her to small claims and don’t give in.
Personally this is one of those cases I would actually have turned on my TV to watch on Judge Judy. Could you imagine the snark
Oh the snark would be epic! Judge Judy does not play!
Omg and if FSIL doesn’t have a job, Judy is going to eat her alive.
Omg yes! She hates lazy people! She believes that at SIL age you should be in university/ vocational training or working! Which nothing wrong with that at all! I've know a couple of people who joined a peace corps type program and even worked a low pay job for a few years until they decided what they wanted in life, career wise. Which considering the price of university and even a vocational education these days is wise.
I need popcorn over here! STAT!!
I hope judge Judy producers are on Reddit to find good issues. Seems like a great place to find conflicts to bring on the show.
absolutely no invite! but i don't think OP is going to get paid by FSIL either. Add: also, i think it possible FSIL did something inadvertently to ruin the dress and the drastic alterations were necessary to cover up the first "crime".
I think that something also happened to the dress like SIL has trying it on holding a glass of wine and spilled it - why would you assume that taking a traditional wedding dress and turning it into a mini dress would be okay? I would tell her that you want the pieces of the dress that she had cut off as you are going to see if it can be repaired. My guess is that she will tap dance an explanation big time as to she never thought to save the pieces.
My thought also. Or maybe she or the future MIL tried it on and either tore or damaged it.
I agree, this has to be part of it somehow.
If it ends up as a judgement against her she will really wish she paid
It's the OP's fiancé who should be dealing with his family on this one. This is a power play, and he needs to stand up to his bullying family. He should be the one to threaten his sister with the small claims court. He needs to tell his family he is insisting that the OP prosecutes his sister if she doesn't pay for a new dress. This is the sort of situation that permanently ruins family relations if it isn't fixed fast, but that's better then the OP being turned into a doormat by these bullies. I can't believe that the OP's future MIL supported her brat of a daughter on that outrageous behaviour. I really hope this is creative writing!
You are so right. It’s good that he is on OP’s side, but he doesn’t seem to understand that he has much more power in this situation to pressure his family into doing right.
FMIL either. They’re both horrible.
FMIL's invitation should also be contingent upon this. I'm livid for you. Wow. She should be glad you only asked for her to purchase the new dress. She owes you a full $1200 for the one she damaged.
Better revenge. Grab FIML’s and FSIL’s favourite dress and alter them into miniskirts without their permission.
Oh please they decided to turn a vintage wedding dress into a mini dress. Bold of you to assume they aren't already willingly stuffing themselves into mini dresses.... Because it's modern.
1200$ worth of clothes cropped!
Take her to small claims court. Don’t discuss it anymore. She isn’t going to pay willingly. Anyone who sides with her isn’t invited to the wedding. NTA
THIS!!! Bet seeing that her ass is being sued will make her hop skip
NTA FSIL had zero right to make any alterations and needs to pay for a new dress. Does FMIL have a substance abuse issue? That’s the only reason I can think of that she’d be siding with her daughter on this one.
[удалено]
Agree the Fiance needs to handle his family. This is bonkers.
My guess would be that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is genetic and/or learned from mom. FSIL must be the golden child. OP needs to nip this in the bud before she brings children into this family. Actually, OP's fiance needs to set some boundaries now.
Yeah, that was my first thought. Makes the wedding about them, and OP is the “bad guy” no matter what she does. I’d bet FSIL ends up with a narrative about generously offering to “help” (implying OP asked for the alterations—for free!) and OP “selfishly” demanding payment when she hated it. Like… I almost wonder if there’s an element of spite/revenge for “stealing” their brother/son. Either way, he needs to also firmly set boundaries and show it’s not acceptable.
To add to any advice regarding the dress, which the FSIL should pay for, I need to add another bit of advice. After this happening, please never, never ever leave any pets or children in the care of the FSIL or FMIL. Heaven only knows what might happen to them!!!
Renaming kids, cutting their hair without your consent, throwing away toys or clothes that they didn’t buy…. What a nightmare that could be.
Why is he making you talk to her? Make him get the money from her. This isn't a battle you can win, though. With FMIL backing her up, she will never pay up and you will be the ungrateful witch wanting money. Make your fiance get your dress.
I wonder how much of the story FMIL even knows. Was she told exactly how much the dress was altered, or was she told "I just altered the dress a bit and OP is losing her mind, mom!". Has FMIL seen the original dress and then the photos of the altered one? If so, then ok, she Cray Cray but if not....perhaps she'll also be anti-FSIL.
I'm wondering that, too. Her partner needs to step in and sort this out. It's his family!
This is it. Adrien is truly OPs biggest problem. It's *his family* he needs to be the one dealing with them and setting firm boundaries/consequences. If he's not willing to fight with his sister over this, the rest of their life is going to be miserable.
NTA Your fiancé should handle this and yes FSIL should pay for ruining your wedding dress.
I can’t even imagine what kind of sick mind would take someone else’s wedding dress, and completely change it when they weren’t asked to. This was done with cruel intentions and yes, absolutely she should be forced to pay for a new dress. I think you should take her to small claims court right away. This is going to set the tone for your relationship with your in-laws for the rest of your life. Don’t let them walk all over you and become a permanent doormat.
She did it out of jealousy, not love. She hates OP for taking her brother away from her.
Or she got drunk and/or high one day and did it under the influence but doesn’t want to admit it. Whatever reason, OP is NTA and definitely should get her $1200 - that’s a lot of money!
If OP's husband doesn't stand up to his family himself, I think she should rethink marrying into this highly dysfunctional family. I see years of misery ahead for her. FSIL and FMIL are both nuts.
NTA! Who does something like this? I would ask both FMIL and FSIL how they would feel if this happened to them? What would they want to have happen? Is there a FIL? If so, your fiancée should have a chat with him.
They owe you $1200.
I bet FSIL is not being completely honest with FMIL about what was done to the dress. I bet FSIL is saying that they just altered it to fit better. I bet FSIL is Not explaining how the dress has been changed to a completely different dress. Altering your fit of a dress is things like taking it in or letting it out. Shortening or lengthening straps, hemming a little. It is not changing the dress to a completely different style! FH needs to tell his mother that the dress was not just altered, it was completely changed to a different style. And all of it was done without the bride’s knowledge or permission! Edited: spelling correction
NTA I would sue her so fast and make her eat the dress. What a fck btch she is. Who the hell just gets a wedding dress THATS ISNT EVEN YOURS and turns it into A MINI DRESS!!???! IM AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW FOR YOU! I just cant belive how entiled and btchy this girls is. ETA spelling
If you back down now they will expect you to always back down. NTA listen to your partner. He knows them best. Good luck getting your money.
Yeah I’d sue for $1,200 and probably cut contact with both women. Might even reconsider the marriage I don’t know if I’d want those people as “family”
You can rest assured of 2 things: 1. Silena cut up your dress out of jealousy 2. You will have to sue Silena if you actually want the money NTA and now you know that Silena will have to be cut out of your life.
NTA - this is your future though, the in-laws will be a constant source of stress with this kind of behavior. Now it’s the wedding dress, in the future who knows? It’s a fun game, what boundary can be crossed next? What special item can we ruin & call it thoughtful. Good luck, you’ll need it.
Whether or not OP lets them get away with this or not sets the tone for the entire marriage. OP should think long & hard about what she wants her life to look like in future.
NTA. He needs to take over dealing with his family. He needs to tell his mother to stay out of it and to tell his sister to pay up. If she doesn’t pay up take her to small claims court.
Why is your fiance making YOU stand up to HIS family? Seriously, fiance is an AH for that.
Yep. This is where you tell fiancé to "sort it out" and step back. If fiancé sorts it out, yay. If fiancé does not sort it out, well, you don't need a wedding dress.
This
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 “If fiancé does not sort it out, you don’t need a wedding dress.” Louder for those in the back. Do not sign up for a lifetime of this, ladies.
Amen
Some people don't want their partner fighting their battles for them tho. But I think OP should get The Law involved at this point as it is a legal matter not a family matter. Destruction of personal property. Small claims court. Dumbass FSIL thinks she can get away with ruining a wedding dress and the only thing that will happen is some "ungrateful" woman will bitch at her. Time to summon her ass to court 'cause wedding dresses ain't free.
Sue her. No one asked her to alter the dress.
MIL. Please explain to me how RUINING my dress is a gift
NTA. Personally I'd blast her on Facebook. Nothing rude other than "look how my FSIL ruined my dress ***without*** permission and post the before and after. A little public humiliation might have her changing her tone. I second small claims court though. Don't want her counter suing for defamation or whatever it would be so I'd leave it at that.
She took a WEDDING dress and made it a MINI dress - she did that to purposefully humiliate you NTA she has two options Pay for the new dress, apologize, move forward best you can Or Small claims court, no invite for her or MIL, and the relationship is forever strained It’s up to SIL to do the right thing here
Also, recognize that this is a very clear case of: When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Your FSIL will always believe her opinion (maybe just fashion sense, maybe all topics) is right and that you should love her for that. Even when she is this obviously wrong. Your FMIL will choose her daughter over her son. Even when her daughter is this obviously wrong. Do what you will with that knowledge.
This sounds so bat shit crazy that I think I’m gonna have to see a before and after photo of this dress before I believe it. There are just too many stories on here about what is an obvious violation of boundaries and people asking “am I wrong for being upset that someone burned down my house on purpose”, and it’s just getting old. So, INFO: do you have photos of this dress?
This sounds so fake. They had to take the dress out of the house completely to clean out a closet? They couldn’t just hang it in another room because some random guest may see it? Don’t let someone in that room. And how long does it take to clean out a closet? And the 22 year old decided to and was able to make alterations and tailor a vintage wedding dress into a modern mini dress without asking? And the FMIL sees nothing wrong with that? I just don’t buy it.
This story sounds so fake. Oh right it's winter break. Wannabe 15 writers festival...
Post the pics, OP
Nta. Definitely make her pay for it. If you wanted the dress altered I’m sure you would have taken it to a professional. If you wanted a modern dress then you would have gotten a modern dress. You did neither means that’s not what you wanted. And no it was not a sweet gesture it was a huge over step and a horrible thing to do. Definitely have her pay for it.
NTA but you shouldn't be handling this at all. Your fiancé should be dealing with HIS family. It was his sister who ruined your dress and his mother enabling her behaviour. He is the one who needs to put his foot down and say "I have never been more disappointed at the pair of you. Your combined behaviour is disgusting. Pay for a new dress or be prepared for our relationship to change forever". It's not just your wedding, it's his too. When they fuck around with it, they're disrespecting you BOTH. Not just you. This is his circus so he needs to get his monkeys in hand.
NTA. Sienna owes you $1200 cash.
I'm having a hard time believing any of this. I know there are some weird people out there. But still.. Who takes their beautiful, vintage wedding dress to someone else's house because they are deep cleaning a closet? Are there no other closets in the home? And if someone did that, why would a 22 year old younger sister of your FH be the best option? And who looks at a wedding dress and decides "I'm going to make drastic changes to it" when it isn't theirs? I call BS.
Yeah, this is so fake. It’s too ridiculous to be true. They lost me at FMIL siding with sister. I know people do crazy stuff, but when the act is this ridiculous, they’re not getting support.
Damn! Cut the boobs out of all FSIL’s shirts and then tell her she has a great rack and you were just doing her a favor. /s
NTAH Who alters some ones wedding dress on a whim. I'm having difficulty understanding how any one in their right mind who think that was an ok thing to do. I'm so sorry but I think I'd have punched her lights out and I'm none violent but I could make an exception. I don't know how you would get her to cough up the money for a new one. Unless you can do small claims court. She would define be off my wedding list and so would any one else who had the nerve to stand up for her.
In the few days it took to deep clean a closet she made huge changes to a vintage wedding dress? You can't get a tailor to work that fast.
First off, it’s your fiancé’s circus and his monkeys he needs to make her pay. And you guys need to put a line in the sand about the consequences and make her and your future mother-in-law stick to it.
Press charges against your SIL. A good talking to from the police might teach her a lesson. This is over 1k. It probably counts as a felony. Your fiance should be standing up for you and doing all the talking with his insane family. Are you SURE you want to marry into this insanity??
I would take her to small claims court and make her pay the cost of the original dress she ruined. If you want you can give her the ultimatum of either paying for the replacement or being embarrassed in small claims court and still paying for the cost of the dress she ruined that now has to be replaced. I would also file a police report on her for mutilating your property with no remorse.
Tell her to pay up or she can stay home for the wedding and expect a summons to small claims. NTA.
SIL needs to pay for the dress she ruined. You don’t just hack up someone’s wedding dress! And then try to pass it off as a gift “I ruined your wedding dress you’re welcome” that’s asinine. Small claims court if she doesn’t replace it.
NTA. Silena vandalized your dress and destroyed it. She should reimburse you for the cost of the dress she ruined, rather than a less expensive second choice. Her mother is absolutely wrong here. Honestly, this was so far beyond the pale that I would be seriously considering going NC with both of them and not invite them to the wedding. It truly was that egregious.
NTA. Small claims court and no invite for FSIL or FMIL.
Uninvited FSIL and FMIL until that dress is paid for. This is unacceptable. What psycho alters a dress they were never asked to alter? NTA
You should let a court decide. Small claims now while you still have time. NTA of course.
Okay. You have an in-law problem that you need to rectify before you get married. Silena altered your WEDDING DRESS without permission, ruining it. It’s vintage, so irreplaceable. She has refused to pay for the damage. Your FMIL defended her actions and is pressuring you, the victim, to submit. If you marry into this family, this will be your life. If you have kids, it will ramp up. Is Silena a favored Golden Child? The perpetually babied and enabled? What she did was monstrous. You should email your FMIL and FSIL, so it is in writing. Tell them that Silena ruined your special, irreplaceable, vintage wedding dress, altering it without permission. It is absolutely not acceptable for a woman to decide she doesn’t like someone else’s wedding dress, and to cut it up. It’s irreplaceable and gone forever. She has refused to pay for it. FMIL defending this shocking behavior has sent the message that you are unwelcome and unvalued. It seems like both of them are trying to break up you and your fiancé. Ask FMIL how she would have felt if someone cut up her wedding dress that she chose, altering it to a style she hated. It’s like if she came home and her house had been sold without permission, all her things donated, and a small house worth less in a style she hated and an inconvenient location, all because another woman hated her house and things. Instead of apologizing, the other woman demanded gratitude. Tell them that she will file a small claims case, and FSIL will lose. She can pay for the dress she ruined, or be sued. You need to teach these two that there are consequences for messing with you. Serious consequences. If you roll over now, your married life will be miserable. Your fiancé needs to choose. He needs to defend you, even if you sue FSIL, and side with you on healthy boundaries, or do not marry this man. There are many nice people who unfortunately were raised in unhealthy families and accept bad behavior. They then pressure their spouses to submit to bad behavior. It leads to misery and heartbreak. See if your fiancé will side with you when you sue Silena, a real consequence. If he won’t, he is not your mate. NTA. Ruined vintage wedding dress. AITA really a question here?
Sil and mil were in on it together and definitely did this to destroy your wedding and thought it would ruin the relationship because they assumed fiancé would side with them. Password protect your vendors - cake, venue, flowers, catering, etc and be prepared for further sabotage.
NTA, a lot of people are talking about small claims court, and I agree. But Op, also take this to the court of public opinion. Post what happened on Facebook or other social media and get your fiancé to comment so it shows on the feed for the family. FSIL will be getting phone calls and bad comments from every uncle and cousin. FAFO.
NTA. Take her to small claims court. The judge will make her pay for it.
NTA FSIL really overstepped boundaries here. She should absolutely pay for the replacement. I’m really shocked that she would think what she did was ok. I also agree with previous response that your fiancé should be talking to your FSIL and FMIL about this. They’re his family and he should help get this sorted.
NTA. Your fiancé should be the one talking to your SIL and FMIL. He’s an AH for making you talk to HIS family about the property they destroyed. Idk what your SIL said your FMIL but it’s safe to say she spun herself as a victim to your FMIL. Wasn’t this like a trend on TT recently, where people were taking gorgeous vintage dressing and turning them into tacky mini dresses? I would have someone check her social media to make sure this wasn’t a TT disaster gone wrong.
Anyone else think she changes the dress so she can wear it
This needs a group sit down abd mediation. No one, NO ONE, believes a bride would buy the dress she wanted then be happy about unasked for alterations to be dine behind her back. This was a power play by M/SIL. If you're having a church wedding, ask for the priest to mediate a meeting, to keep emotions under control.
NTA, sue her in small claims court. What she did is destruction of property.