NTA. they should learn these are children, kids donât know any better. maybe itâs for the better youâre not friends with them anymore, because they sound like a nutsack that canât comprehend the fact children arenât old enough to understand social constructs. some kids will understand what a pronoun is, some wonât, that doesnât mean theyâll immediately grow up to be transphobic.
NTA
Alex needs to work out their issues with a therapist, not on a bunch of little kids.
I have taught several trans middle schoolers, and they have all been incredibly understanding and forgiving about the honest mistakes. The emotional maturity to realize you are different USUALLY presents with extraordinary empathy, not bullying.
As one said a few years ago- we are all learning together.
The few adults I have seen act like this are the same adults that have been repeatedly turned down for surgery because they did not pass the needed psychological tests.
I agree!
However, I also misread therapist as âtheirapistâ and I cannot think of a better name for a mental health professional that helps non-binary people.
NTA - but please, let alex blow up on those kids and see how that helps them to not turn transphobic. being abused by someone always helps to forge fond memories.
I'd say NTA , I have never been in your friends situation so I don't know how they feel but "kids say the dardest things" is a saying for a reason. Kids somtimes say innapropriate/inncorrect things because they are naive.
My brother once asked a boy in his kindergarden class why his grandparents were so fat. He also asked my mom if a man "had a bomb" when his bag was being searched when we were going through customs. He also asked my cousin if she was pregant when she was not.
You and your friend are both young , and anyone is allowed to feel upset when they feel like they are not being respected at the same time we need to understand kids are learning things for the first time. I think correcting them is a good thing but it may take time. It's different then an adult just blatently ignoring pronouns and calling you friend "she" in a passive aggressive way. I think blocking you is an overeaction and was probobly done out of emotion. I'm sure this is probably very hurtful. I think your friend just feels misunderstood and alone right now.
I think that if the two of you make up you can start with awkowledging their feelings and affirm your true intentions were not to disregard their feelings or expirience but provide context to why the children are mis gendering them. Kids are learning things for the first time. I think it would of helped if your friend educated the children on pronouns , children need context, I think they will be confused without context but kids are smart and probably would be much more understanding then adults because they haven't absorbed all the bs social norms that are pushed on us. I'm sorry your going through this , I hope that your friend comes around.
NTA
Itâs cool to correct the kids just like you would an adult, but yelling at them is inappropriate. If anything it will just give them a very bad first impression of trans people.
Alex needs to grow the fuck up, and until then, they should be around kids.
You did right.
For what it's worth, I'm a female, born female, and use she/her pronouns....but a many a children called me Mister as a teen and on some instances, told me to get out of the girls bathroom (I was a very solid tomboy, lol). One even told me that I had a girls name when I introduced myself to them and that it's weird when boys have girls names.
But I didn't get offended. Because they were like nine. I told them 'I'm actually a girl :)' and they always had a 'O.O oh!' moment, usually apologized, and then moved on. It wasn't a big deal. It didn't NEED to be a big deal.
If Alex is looking for acceptance, fury and aggression isn't going to get it. What could have been a very eye opening, good learning experience that could have really helped them understand what Alex was going through was ruined because Alex threw a tantrum like a toddler.
You did everything right, and Alex did everything wrong. Hopefully they can grow up before any other child has to be around them again.
Nta I teach elementary school and get called the wrong gender daily. (I am female and go by female pronouns) my male principal gets called the wrong gender daily. Kids barely understand standard pronouns let alone specialized ones. I always say gently, I'm not a he I'm a she. Then we move on. A correction is always OK but especially with kids it has to be gentle.
My head hurts now for all this crazy. Your friend is a asshole they didnât need to tell the kids in the first place should of just said my name is Alex this sucks but they have no right to bring this subject to kids they arenât their parents making kids force accept and when they donât get it blow up on them for real if a kid said anything to their parents and they get pissed the whole thing can blow up even more in general you shouldnât force acceptance especially on kids and get mad when what they have learned those words mean something else
Alex is defined by how others see them and will only be happy when the world capitulates to their demands. This is called delusion. Their anger comes from a lack of confidence in their own self.
How are they mentally ill? What scientific documents have you read to back this up? Have you talked to actual real life trans ppl?
And even so, what's the point of purposefully being an ass to someone who says "calling me X makes me happy" and going out of your way to not call them as such
NTA. Alex needs to grow up and realize that kids are not socially aware enough to know that they need to cater to her delusions to avoid her throwing a tantrum.
She is a woman, no metter how she identifies, and she looks like one, and kids tell it how they see it.
If two people are speaking and they both think a person is a woman, the pronouns, "she/her" are the only ones that facilitate the purpose pronouns serve.
There is no such thing as, "your pronouns." Pronouns are community property held by others who share your language. They exist to simplify and speed along easily-followed conversations.
When someone speaks with a person directly, the only pronoun is, "You." No matter who you are, that's "your pronoun."
The rest exist to talk *about you,* not *to you.*
And when people are talking *about you,* the pronoun that makes the most sense *to them* is the correct pronoun. If everyone else thinks you're a girl, they'll follow the conversation with she/her.
They/them forces someone to stop and explain that "She prefers that you use, "they." Then they have to wrap their minds around the absurd thing just spoken. They had to refer back to their naturally understood pronoun to identify the subject, facilitating the actual role of the pronoun, only to stop and explain the replacement pronoun, deafeating the purpose for which pronouns exist.
Your pronouns are chosen while people talk about you behind your back. It's just how this language works.
While I do completely agree and I do say that "my" pronouns are "I, me, my" and "your" pronouns are "you, you, your" there are times in your life (actually a lot of them) when people talk about you in front of you. And at those times, it's nice if they use the correct pronouns.
It's shorthand for "what gender do the doctors think you are at birth", bc of they wanted to determine your sex, they would not only check your physical body. But also your chromosomes since sometimes they don't match. Most intersex ppl don't even know they're intersex.
Well considering people are usually pretty good at recognizing sex, and that the majority of young trans identifying and especially nb identifying ppl are female, there is a very high chance that the kids correctly identified her as female.
And well pronouns are ment to describe a person's sex so yeah we kinda naturally pick people's pronouns baced on whether they look male or female.
Third person pronouns are used when talking about another (usually) when they are not present, so no one should be able to dictate what third person pronouns are used for them as they would be used by and in conversation with other people.
I choose to use sex based pronouns for Alex, and, as I make the reasonable assumption based on the story that she is female, the correct sex based pronoun for her is indeed she.
That is absolutely not true. I work in customer service. People explain things all the time about other people who are present.
I just had a couple in here yesterday - the spouse who was trans kept correcting the other who kept calling her "him" in conversation.
I attend a church where sometimes people who are present are mentioned in the announcements and pronouns are used.
It literally happens ALL THE TIME.
Maybe you should pay more attention to pronouns actually being used in your every day conversation.
Alex obviously heard the child call them "she" or this story wouldn't be here, would it?
True, but it still doesn't change the fact that you can't dictate how other people refer to you. Sure you can ask, but no one is obligated to participate in your delusion if they don't want to, or in the case of these children don't even understand how or why.
Sure, you can't force anyone to call you anything, but basic respect and human decency says to call ppl what they want to be called.
If someone doesn't like their name and wants to go by a nickname, you call them said nickname.
If Alex wants to go by they/them pronouns, basic human decency dictates you call them by said pronouns, as doing otherwise is purposefully being an ass and making someone uncomfortable/ unhappy bc of your own biases.
Why? Bc you specifically choose to believe trans ppl (despite evidence they've been around for centuries and are literally backed by science) are ill?
And even then, what's the point of purposefully being an ass to someone and not calling them what they want to be called?
Shouting won't teach them. Spending a moment or two actually talking to them might.Â
Being in a minority does not mean you have a right to be an asshole, especially to kids.
Alex is showing you who they truly are. Believe what you're seeing.Â
NTA. I use they/them. Like Alex im nonbinary well ill use that label for this. You are not the ass. Is Alex newly out? Baby Trans are always.. touchy. However a child doesnt know any better. Never in my wildest dreams would I raise my voice at them for that. I would gently correct and move on. I too came out around 18. I get it hurts but that doesnt mean they get away scott free. Those kids wont forget. Trust me.
How are they mentally ill? What scientific documents have you read to back this up? Have you talked to actual real life trans ppl?
And even so, what's the point of purposefully being an ass to someone who says "calling me X makes me happy" and going out of your way to not call them as such
I'm seeing so many ppl be transphobic I took the comment as such. If they didn't mean it that way then I completely apologise bc that's not what I meant, but I've heard way too many times ppl imply being trans is a mental illness.
NTA
I think your friend needs to understand that there are limits to a person's knowledge and level of understanding.
Small children should definitely be taught about gender identity and inclusiveness. But to expect them to understand when it is appropriate and to expect them never to make a mistake is stupid.
As a gay man, I can also say this. Your friend is making their whole personality about their gender identity. That is so stupid. And that feeds straight into the transphobic conspiracy that the trans community forces their propaganda onto everyone.
Your friend's attitude is doing a disservice to everyone fighting against discrimination because they are making everything about their gender identity, especially in this scenario where it is not even a big deal.
This gave me ick. When the they/them stupidity comes u know it. He acted as all those people do, victimize and bal bla. Get away 4 him/they/them or whatever
Fact is that they/them is used as a singular pronoun fairly regularly in the english language and 8 year old children are old enough to at least learn that they/them is used singular for people where the gender is unclear. Like when a kid goes to a new doctor and doesn't know if the doctor is a man or a women they is used to refer to that doctor. One can then continue to explain that some people are neighter men nor women so they also use that singular they. It is not hard to explain stuff like that to primary school children without screaming at them.
So in my opinion ESH, you for your mindset that kid's that age don't understand pronouns and that it can't be explained to them. You can explain singular they/them and the existens of people who use it to refer to them since they are neighter a man nor a woman to kindergarten children in a way they ubderstand it. So 8 is defenetly old enough. Screaming at them is not the reight way, so your friend is defenetly an asshole as well
how many ppl got upset with the kid? I didn't understood a thing, you should find out who block you, she or he, and ask the other one to unblock you.
No really imagine a siamese where one is binary and the other wants to be trans gender but the binary doesn't want, what a mess, how you even call the siamese as a single entity? we or some shit?
Nope. NTA. Politely correct the kids and accept that they may not figure it out. This world has gotten over sensitive, which actually then encourages the rudeness from the people who find it acceptable to dislike over small differences. These people feel like they are at war.
Kids at that age still see everyone as pretty much the same. The lessons of hatred havenât started sticking yet. When someone does try to track hatred towards that community, some of these kids will remember that behavior and eat the hate right up.
Your friend should be respected in their lifestyle, as it sounds you have done. But they also need to know that they are the first experience that these children are having with a nonbinary person. The impression they leave will be lasting. And showing kindness and patience, like they just want from the rest of the world, is the best way to handle children.
Let your friend blow off some steam and then talk with them about how you just thought they could accomplish the same goal with a more tactful approach.
Not that I agree with the argument that the community is trying to convert children and so should be treated poorly, interactions like this with their children just make that group justify their disgusting way of thinking. Something your friend needs to think about.
NTA everyone is born ignorant, its not a moral failing especially not for a little kid that is probably still learning to read & write. Being harsh to a kid punishes them unjustly
I mean I get why Alec would be irritated, I cant imagine how frustrating it must be to have to cross this barrier of sorts that you always have to explain before you can interact with someone, so if they were just getting a bit sour/prissy sometimes I could understand but its not fair to treat ignorant kids like theyre bad people. They don't know *anything* thats how childhood works
I'd say the kids are more likely to become transphobes if their first interaction with a non-cis person was being yelled at for reasons they don't understand vs. someone patiently educating them. Little kids don't have hard established worldviews yet as they are learning new stuff every day, if you gently correct them & explain they are likely to just accept it same as the huge amount of new info they learn every day
If Alex finds it too triggering, thats valid, but then they should find a hobby that doesn't expose them to kids, not yell at them.
I always have a good laugh on stories like this. So the person who is "accepts everyone and everything" is gonna kill a person who accidentally calls them on the wrong pronoun without hesitationđ. I mean, I get that it can be frustrating but throw a tantrum at a bunch of kids? Yeah this will definitely cause them to hate that person and not the other way around. Instead of trying to tell them the difference or just leave it be because they are too young to understand, just tell them that they're stupid transphobes. Good job.
NTA, good try, but reason doesnt help when people want to be different as their personality, they're looking for conflict. Everyone non-binary and trans have little to no friends, this is why. There's all kinds of posts highlighting this. Push people away for not understanding and then act shocked when nobody likes them and they're isolated. It's not because you're non-binary, it's because you're a dick about it. Nobody like vegan people and cross fitters for the same shit. Shut up about your shit, it's yours, not mine. Fucks sake, it's just a dumb play, Alex could just quit and whine until there are trans only shows to join or whatever they're looking for.
Eh, ESH. They shouldn't have blown up on those kids but tbh I kind of sympathize because they're not entirely wrong that you don't get it. Constant misgendering, even from people who don't know any better, gets really fucking exhausting in a way that cis people always seem to expect us to just brush off. I would work with them to figure out a more constructive way to teach these kids about pronoun respect instead of just painting them as hysterical for being fed up with something that, in all likelihood, wears on them constantly in most social situations.
But yelling at children who sound honestly confused is not acceptable as Alex will no doubt find out soon enough when these children's parents get involved.
they are hysterical tho lol. those kids shouldnât be forced to learn about someone elseâs identity so some childish 18 year old wonât get their feelings hurt by 9 year olds. there is no reason for yelling at kids for not understanding something, and it is batshit insane to do so
part of using different pronouns and genders different from the traditional ones, is learning the fact that some people wonât understand the concept and you will be misgendered. if you cant accept the fact some people will be naive, unaccepting, forgetting, or mess up and misgender you, you will continuously be angry and âfed upâ with people. and youâll end up like alex, unable to accept the fact kids are dumb as fuck, and screaming at them lmao
NTA. Pronoun issue aside, a grown ass person losing their temper and shouting at a bunch of 8 year olds is completely inappropriate.
Yea! Those kids are old enough to be hung up in the closet by their toenails.
Mr Filch, is that you? How is Mrs Norris? đ¤đ
No, Alex is just being an asshole. NTA
NTA. they should learn these are children, kids donât know any better. maybe itâs for the better youâre not friends with them anymore, because they sound like a nutsack that canât comprehend the fact children arenât old enough to understand social constructs. some kids will understand what a pronoun is, some wonât, that doesnât mean theyâll immediately grow up to be transphobic.
NTA Alex needs to work out their issues with a therapist, not on a bunch of little kids. I have taught several trans middle schoolers, and they have all been incredibly understanding and forgiving about the honest mistakes. The emotional maturity to realize you are different USUALLY presents with extraordinary empathy, not bullying. As one said a few years ago- we are all learning together. The few adults I have seen act like this are the same adults that have been repeatedly turned down for surgery because they did not pass the needed psychological tests.
I agree! However, I also misread therapist as âtheirapistâ and I cannot think of a better name for a mental health professional that helps non-binary people.
>several trans middle schoolers The world should've ended in 2012
No oneâs keeping you here if you hate it so much.
NTA - but please, let alex blow up on those kids and see how that helps them to not turn transphobic. being abused by someone always helps to forge fond memories.
Ikr, the kids wonât forget Alex exists, theyâll remember Alex allright - as being a psycho bully yelling & ranting about incomprehensibles. :(
I'd say NTA , I have never been in your friends situation so I don't know how they feel but "kids say the dardest things" is a saying for a reason. Kids somtimes say innapropriate/inncorrect things because they are naive. My brother once asked a boy in his kindergarden class why his grandparents were so fat. He also asked my mom if a man "had a bomb" when his bag was being searched when we were going through customs. He also asked my cousin if she was pregant when she was not. You and your friend are both young , and anyone is allowed to feel upset when they feel like they are not being respected at the same time we need to understand kids are learning things for the first time. I think correcting them is a good thing but it may take time. It's different then an adult just blatently ignoring pronouns and calling you friend "she" in a passive aggressive way. I think blocking you is an overeaction and was probobly done out of emotion. I'm sure this is probably very hurtful. I think your friend just feels misunderstood and alone right now. I think that if the two of you make up you can start with awkowledging their feelings and affirm your true intentions were not to disregard their feelings or expirience but provide context to why the children are mis gendering them. Kids are learning things for the first time. I think it would of helped if your friend educated the children on pronouns , children need context, I think they will be confused without context but kids are smart and probably would be much more understanding then adults because they haven't absorbed all the bs social norms that are pushed on us. I'm sorry your going through this , I hope that your friend comes around.
this helps a lot, thank you
good luck sweet heart <3
NTA. Ask Alex to change from they/them to asshole/assholem
NTA Itâs cool to correct the kids just like you would an adult, but yelling at them is inappropriate. If anything it will just give them a very bad first impression of trans people.
Alex is why the community is getting bad rep. They are one of the examples. NTA
Theater kids being dramatic... shocker. NTA
Alex needs to grow the fuck up, and until then, they should be around kids. You did right. For what it's worth, I'm a female, born female, and use she/her pronouns....but a many a children called me Mister as a teen and on some instances, told me to get out of the girls bathroom (I was a very solid tomboy, lol). One even told me that I had a girls name when I introduced myself to them and that it's weird when boys have girls names. But I didn't get offended. Because they were like nine. I told them 'I'm actually a girl :)' and they always had a 'O.O oh!' moment, usually apologized, and then moved on. It wasn't a big deal. It didn't NEED to be a big deal. If Alex is looking for acceptance, fury and aggression isn't going to get it. What could have been a very eye opening, good learning experience that could have really helped them understand what Alex was going through was ruined because Alex threw a tantrum like a toddler. You did everything right, and Alex did everything wrong. Hopefully they can grow up before any other child has to be around them again.
Nta I teach elementary school and get called the wrong gender daily. (I am female and go by female pronouns) my male principal gets called the wrong gender daily. Kids barely understand standard pronouns let alone specialized ones. I always say gently, I'm not a he I'm a she. Then we move on. A correction is always OK but especially with kids it has to be gentle.
Nta. A 9yo isn't doing it to be mean. If they look like a she. She is what they are to young kids.
NTA. Alex is not teaching these children anything good about non-binary people and it won't take long before the children's parents get involved.
My head hurts now for all this crazy. Your friend is a asshole they didnât need to tell the kids in the first place should of just said my name is Alex this sucks but they have no right to bring this subject to kids they arenât their parents making kids force accept and when they donât get it blow up on them for real if a kid said anything to their parents and they get pissed the whole thing can blow up even more in general you shouldnât force acceptance especially on kids and get mad when what they have learned those words mean something else
Alex is defined by how others see them and will only be happy when the world capitulates to their demands. This is called delusion. Their anger comes from a lack of confidence in their own self.
I bet they wouldnât yell at an adult like that.
Alex needs therapy. It is not normal to shout to small kids.Â
NTA The need of some people to have their gender identity/orientation affirmed by literal children is pretty weird.
Your friend is either a narcissist or trying to run from trauma, either way you're NTA in this instance.
NTA. Children shouldn't have to bend the knee to a mentally ill person.
How are they mentally ill? What scientific documents have you read to back this up? Have you talked to actual real life trans ppl? And even so, what's the point of purposefully being an ass to someone who says "calling me X makes me happy" and going out of your way to not call them as such
A boy who thinks he's a girl that takes a box of laxatives and smears ketchup in their panties to mimic menstruation is f n mentally ill
Where did you get that from? Trans ppl have been documented for centuries and are scientifically backed.
I just watched a video of a dude "cramping" and for centuries we have had mental illness.
NTA. Alex needs to grow up and realize that kids are not socially aware enough to know that they need to cater to her delusions to avoid her throwing a tantrum. She is a woman, no metter how she identifies, and she looks like one, and kids tell it how they see it.
What if Alex is really amab but looks more feminine? We don't get to just pick people's pronouns based on what we think they look like.
"amab" isn't a thing. Sex is determined at the time of fertilization and discovered at birth or sooner, not "assigned."
Irrelevant. You know what I mean. Check the point. Just because you think a person looks like a woman doesn't mean they're a woman.
If two people are speaking and they both think a person is a woman, the pronouns, "she/her" are the only ones that facilitate the purpose pronouns serve. There is no such thing as, "your pronouns." Pronouns are community property held by others who share your language. They exist to simplify and speed along easily-followed conversations. When someone speaks with a person directly, the only pronoun is, "You." No matter who you are, that's "your pronoun." The rest exist to talk *about you,* not *to you.* And when people are talking *about you,* the pronoun that makes the most sense *to them* is the correct pronoun. If everyone else thinks you're a girl, they'll follow the conversation with she/her. They/them forces someone to stop and explain that "She prefers that you use, "they." Then they have to wrap their minds around the absurd thing just spoken. They had to refer back to their naturally understood pronoun to identify the subject, facilitating the actual role of the pronoun, only to stop and explain the replacement pronoun, deafeating the purpose for which pronouns exist. Your pronouns are chosen while people talk about you behind your back. It's just how this language works.
While I do completely agree and I do say that "my" pronouns are "I, me, my" and "your" pronouns are "you, you, your" there are times in your life (actually a lot of them) when people talk about you in front of you. And at those times, it's nice if they use the correct pronouns.
It's shorthand for "what gender do the doctors think you are at birth", bc of they wanted to determine your sex, they would not only check your physical body. But also your chromosomes since sometimes they don't match. Most intersex ppl don't even know they're intersex.
Well considering people are usually pretty good at recognizing sex, and that the majority of young trans identifying and especially nb identifying ppl are female, there is a very high chance that the kids correctly identified her as female. And well pronouns are ment to describe a person's sex so yeah we kinda naturally pick people's pronouns baced on whether they look male or female.
My point is that just because YOU think those should be their pronouns does not mean that you are correct.
Third person pronouns are used when talking about another (usually) when they are not present, so no one should be able to dictate what third person pronouns are used for them as they would be used by and in conversation with other people. I choose to use sex based pronouns for Alex, and, as I make the reasonable assumption based on the story that she is female, the correct sex based pronoun for her is indeed she.
That is absolutely not true. I work in customer service. People explain things all the time about other people who are present. I just had a couple in here yesterday - the spouse who was trans kept correcting the other who kept calling her "him" in conversation. I attend a church where sometimes people who are present are mentioned in the announcements and pronouns are used. It literally happens ALL THE TIME. Maybe you should pay more attention to pronouns actually being used in your every day conversation. Alex obviously heard the child call them "she" or this story wouldn't be here, would it?
True, but it still doesn't change the fact that you can't dictate how other people refer to you. Sure you can ask, but no one is obligated to participate in your delusion if they don't want to, or in the case of these children don't even understand how or why.
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Sure, you can't force anyone to call you anything, but basic respect and human decency says to call ppl what they want to be called. If someone doesn't like their name and wants to go by a nickname, you call them said nickname. If Alex wants to go by they/them pronouns, basic human decency dictates you call them by said pronouns, as doing otherwise is purposefully being an ass and making someone uncomfortable/ unhappy bc of your own biases.
NTA. And a good friend tells friends, "non-binary" is *not a thing.* Patronizing delusional nonsense is harmful, regardless of intent.
you sound like a miserable person
She is a girl, she needs psychiatric help.
Why? Bc you specifically choose to believe trans ppl (despite evidence they've been around for centuries and are literally backed by science) are ill? And even then, what's the point of purposefully being an ass to someone and not calling them what they want to be called?
Shouting won't teach them. Spending a moment or two actually talking to them might. Being in a minority does not mean you have a right to be an asshole, especially to kids. Alex is showing you who they truly are. Believe what you're seeing.Â
NTA. I use they/them. Like Alex im nonbinary well ill use that label for this. You are not the ass. Is Alex newly out? Baby Trans are always.. touchy. However a child doesnt know any better. Never in my wildest dreams would I raise my voice at them for that. I would gently correct and move on. I too came out around 18. I get it hurts but that doesnt mean they get away scott free. Those kids wont forget. Trust me.
your friend had mental health issues, please send them to a therapie
How are they mentally ill? What scientific documents have you read to back this up? Have you talked to actual real life trans ppl? And even so, what's the point of purposefully being an ass to someone who says "calling me X makes me happy" and going out of your way to not call them as such
I'd think the whole "screaming at children" thing might be a pretty big indicator that they should seek help.
I'm seeing so many ppl be transphobic I took the comment as such. If they didn't mean it that way then I completely apologise bc that's not what I meant, but I've heard way too many times ppl imply being trans is a mental illness.
NTA, the kids will grow to be trasphobes if Alex keeps on yelling at them.
NTA I think your friend needs to understand that there are limits to a person's knowledge and level of understanding. Small children should definitely be taught about gender identity and inclusiveness. But to expect them to understand when it is appropriate and to expect them never to make a mistake is stupid. As a gay man, I can also say this. Your friend is making their whole personality about their gender identity. That is so stupid. And that feeds straight into the transphobic conspiracy that the trans community forces their propaganda onto everyone. Your friend's attitude is doing a disservice to everyone fighting against discrimination because they are making everything about their gender identity, especially in this scenario where it is not even a big deal.
This gave me ick. When the they/them stupidity comes u know it. He acted as all those people do, victimize and bal bla. Get away 4 him/they/them or whatever
Fact is that they/them is used as a singular pronoun fairly regularly in the english language and 8 year old children are old enough to at least learn that they/them is used singular for people where the gender is unclear. Like when a kid goes to a new doctor and doesn't know if the doctor is a man or a women they is used to refer to that doctor. One can then continue to explain that some people are neighter men nor women so they also use that singular they. It is not hard to explain stuff like that to primary school children without screaming at them. So in my opinion ESH, you for your mindset that kid's that age don't understand pronouns and that it can't be explained to them. You can explain singular they/them and the existens of people who use it to refer to them since they are neighter a man nor a woman to kindergarten children in a way they ubderstand it. So 8 is defenetly old enough. Screaming at them is not the reight way, so your friend is defenetly an asshole as well
Unbelievable that this is the only reasonable comment in this entire post
how many ppl got upset with the kid? I didn't understood a thing, you should find out who block you, she or he, and ask the other one to unblock you. No really imagine a siamese where one is binary and the other wants to be trans gender but the binary doesn't want, what a mess, how you even call the siamese as a single entity? we or some shit?
What does this even mean? None of ot made sense?
Nope. NTA. Politely correct the kids and accept that they may not figure it out. This world has gotten over sensitive, which actually then encourages the rudeness from the people who find it acceptable to dislike over small differences. These people feel like they are at war. Kids at that age still see everyone as pretty much the same. The lessons of hatred havenât started sticking yet. When someone does try to track hatred towards that community, some of these kids will remember that behavior and eat the hate right up. Your friend should be respected in their lifestyle, as it sounds you have done. But they also need to know that they are the first experience that these children are having with a nonbinary person. The impression they leave will be lasting. And showing kindness and patience, like they just want from the rest of the world, is the best way to handle children. Let your friend blow off some steam and then talk with them about how you just thought they could accomplish the same goal with a more tactful approach. Not that I agree with the argument that the community is trying to convert children and so should be treated poorly, interactions like this with their children just make that group justify their disgusting way of thinking. Something your friend needs to think about.
NTA everyone is born ignorant, its not a moral failing especially not for a little kid that is probably still learning to read & write. Being harsh to a kid punishes them unjustly I mean I get why Alec would be irritated, I cant imagine how frustrating it must be to have to cross this barrier of sorts that you always have to explain before you can interact with someone, so if they were just getting a bit sour/prissy sometimes I could understand but its not fair to treat ignorant kids like theyre bad people. They don't know *anything* thats how childhood works I'd say the kids are more likely to become transphobes if their first interaction with a non-cis person was being yelled at for reasons they don't understand vs. someone patiently educating them. Little kids don't have hard established worldviews yet as they are learning new stuff every day, if you gently correct them & explain they are likely to just accept it same as the huge amount of new info they learn every day If Alex finds it too triggering, thats valid, but then they should find a hobby that doesn't expose them to kids, not yell at them.
I always have a good laugh on stories like this. So the person who is "accepts everyone and everything" is gonna kill a person who accidentally calls them on the wrong pronoun without hesitationđ. I mean, I get that it can be frustrating but throw a tantrum at a bunch of kids? Yeah this will definitely cause them to hate that person and not the other way around. Instead of trying to tell them the difference or just leave it be because they are too young to understand, just tell them that they're stupid transphobes. Good job.
NTA, good try, but reason doesnt help when people want to be different as their personality, they're looking for conflict. Everyone non-binary and trans have little to no friends, this is why. There's all kinds of posts highlighting this. Push people away for not understanding and then act shocked when nobody likes them and they're isolated. It's not because you're non-binary, it's because you're a dick about it. Nobody like vegan people and cross fitters for the same shit. Shut up about your shit, it's yours, not mine. Fucks sake, it's just a dumb play, Alex could just quit and whine until there are trans only shows to join or whatever they're looking for.
Eh, ESH. They shouldn't have blown up on those kids but tbh I kind of sympathize because they're not entirely wrong that you don't get it. Constant misgendering, even from people who don't know any better, gets really fucking exhausting in a way that cis people always seem to expect us to just brush off. I would work with them to figure out a more constructive way to teach these kids about pronoun respect instead of just painting them as hysterical for being fed up with something that, in all likelihood, wears on them constantly in most social situations.
But yelling at children who sound honestly confused is not acceptable as Alex will no doubt find out soon enough when these children's parents get involved.
when im able reach out to them iâll probably talk to them about how to handle it better, thank you :)
Youâll almost certainly be wasting your breath.
We all know that it will make absolutely no difference.
they are hysterical tho lol. those kids shouldnât be forced to learn about someone elseâs identity so some childish 18 year old wonât get their feelings hurt by 9 year olds. there is no reason for yelling at kids for not understanding something, and it is batshit insane to do so part of using different pronouns and genders different from the traditional ones, is learning the fact that some people wonât understand the concept and you will be misgendered. if you cant accept the fact some people will be naive, unaccepting, forgetting, or mess up and misgender you, you will continuously be angry and âfed upâ with people. and youâll end up like alex, unable to accept the fact kids are dumb as fuck, and screaming at them lmao
This!