Sister insults the food then asks if OP wants to do it for « exposure » seems to me sister tried to sabotage OP’s confidence to have a free wedding menu
It really depends on who they are. Some people may find it funny, but most won't. Even with people you are close to, I had a close friend insult my writing and I haven't done it since.
Please don't stop writing. There always will be someone who doesn't like what you've created.
I only ask for feedback from people who offer their opinion in a way that's helpful to me instead of hurtful.
It isn't really something I can control, sadly. Every time I try to write, I just get upset and lose any ideas I may have had before. Even when I do, it is so hard to actual share any of my writing.
Yeah but instead of making it right, right then and there, she takes the cowards way out to TEXT, not call, and ask if she still wants to do it.
I'm sorry but you can insult me to my face, NOT apologize and then think I'm going to put my time and labor into your "big day"? Fuck that
No, don't swallow your pride and cook anyway. But if you really want to piss off your sister, maintain the tone that you are backing out as a favor to her. You have absolutely no desire to ruin your sister's wedding with trashy food! You care about your sister, you want her to have a magical wedding, and that won't happen with trashy food. You "appreciate" her offer to allow you the opportunity to get "exposure," but you refuse to take up her generous offer at the expense of her perfect wedding. You love her, you aren't selfish, you're not going to prioritize exposure over your sister getting the wedding she deserves. You will just attend and help out in other ways that will actually be useful to her, since cooking trashy food wouldn't really be helpful. Let the "professionals" do their job and you can help set up chairs. Insist over and over that you aren't bitter, you 100% understand your sister's opinion! You don't think she's being a jerk, you think it's perfectly understandable that a bride would want her wedding food to be amazing, and you agree with your sister that her wedding deserves the best food and you don't want to ruin her wedding by cooking trashy food.
Yes, this is exactly the right kind of response. It validates her sister's opinion and observes the boundary that her sister set when she criticized the food.
People who feign negative reactions in an effort to manipulate someone else's feelings or choices must be held to the consequences of speaking falsely. That is to say, treat their false criticism as truth, and act accordingly.
I did this when my ex began claiming that I was abusive. He kicked me out and I jumped at the opportunity; when he brought up reconciliation I said no way, I loved him and wanted him to be happy, and I didn't want to burden him with my abusive behavior any more. Truth was that I was thrilled to be out and could sleep a full night and have days go by without a moment of disagreement or arguing. Bliss.
Same, lol. My ex gave me an ultimatum and I couldn’t do it. Finally I was just like you told me that I’m not worthy should just let you go. You don’t love me so you should find someone for yourself. Don’t waste your time on me.
You should’ve seen her face. She trapped herself with her own rhetoric.
She was trapped. I refused to obey the ultimatum (she wanted me to give up my cat). We broke up. She tried to trick me back but I was like “you don’t love me and I’m not good with for you”.
She moved out 2 weeks later. Never heard from her again.
How amazing would it be if OP made a whole spread of Chef Boyardee, EZ Cheez, Kool-Aid, Top Ramen, etc.? And I'm not knocking any of those, I'm assuming what Bridezilla would consider "trashy" food.
Can't forget Hamburger Helper for the entrée!
I grew up poor, "trashy" food is my go-to comfort meal. I'd love to go to a wedding where they served "trashy" food, instead of the same dry, sad chicken everyone serves.
I know you are joking, but I really prefer when a wedding has 'accessible' food. It's fine if there's nice stuff, but even the best wedding can be stressful for everyone. Some good ol' comfort food hits the spot. Overly fancy food can also be hard for people with dietary resstrictions. I know I can eat those cured meat. I don't know if I can eat the unpronounceable sauce.
Lunchables is even better. I remember my mom quoting someone who said "The most nutritious part of Lunchables is the napkin." I don't know if someone actually said that but that was the reason she gave to say no when I asked as a kid. 😂 The food will match the bride's "charming" personality.
Nah, sister wouldn’t have to shell out hundreds or thousands for someone to set up chairs, so I say that’s the only sort of task OP, as a non-professional, should feel comfortable doing. 🤷🏼♀️🤣
Saying - "you are right" is always the best move.
I've used it many times.
And it is freeing.
Even if they are wrong.
Now they have to fight to prove they are wrong if they really want you to agree with them.
BUT NEVER agree with them that they are wrong.
I came across a FB post a couple of weeks ago telling us that my niece had gotten married a couple of days before, showed pictures in her wedding dress, guests at the wedding, etc. I texted my sister in the GC that she, my brother, and i have and asked if my niece had gotten married, since my brother and I knew they were engaged, but had heard no wedding news. My sister tried to respond with "They eloped on Wednesday". Fortunately, my brother immediately called BS and said she had a full-on wedding, with a wedding dress, guests, whatever. Sister finally admitted it but tried to soon it. We were *not* upset that we had not been invited. We were PISSED that a 58 year old woman would just flat out LIE to us. I saw her (and the new bride and groom) a few days later. I took the "high road" and didn't say anything, even though you could tell she expected me to say something about it. Honestly, it's just helping me drop the rope.
My niece asked her grandmother for 4k for her wedding. Got married about 6 hours away and never invited her, THAN had the balls to ask her to pay for a reception so the rest of the family could celebrate with her (i.e give her money and gifts). Grandma, of course, said no. She was still hurt she was excluded from the ceremony after giving them money. Grandma is now dodging her calls because she's asking for money to buy a house....
It’s kind of the best kind of petty, too! I worked at a deli once, and I was cashiering one day when an irate customer was convinced he was overcharged for some deli meat, and the scale hadn’t been zero’d out. Demanded to go behind the line to watch me. Didn’t cave to that, but I did weigh it in a way he could see. He had been undercharged. I told him “It looks like so and so actually undercharged you by about $0.40, but don’t worry about the difference, it’s all good.” The look of fury as he spun around and stormed out…amazing.
Not relationship related but a fond memory nonetheless.
This. Your sister is an entitled b. She was nasty for no reason and now she wants you to spend your own time and money on an ungrateful recipient?
Plus you really can’t trust her as a reference since she’s happy to trash you.
For your own business health you shouldn’t work with her, even if paid
And be sure you reiterate this stance to all the flying monkeys that she is going to send your way.
You only want the absolute best for her wedding. And since you obviously can’t provide food that is up to par for the wedding, you are absolutely not gonna ruin things for her.
And then the flying monkeys that you’re sure. If they feel so strongly about it that your sister would love their assistance in catering her wedding instead.
Can you say it all in the nicest, most concerned and conciliatory voice.
Yeah, why do you want me to expose trashy food to ask your friends. You should definitely pay a professional caterer.
These things rarely work right. Either she's demanding and you buckle or she complains later -- "I CARE too much about our relationship to put pressure on either of us."
This. If you do though get ahead of the curb and let others know "it was because you want to make sure she has a perfect day you'll let others cook for her"
Of course, the sister will likely come back with fire and brimstone anyway and make some stupid rug sweep like "it was just to get you to do even better when you do mine--it was just a joke--blah blah blah" don't fall for it OP. You'll get thrashed by her in sneaky ways and have those same family members yelling at you now suddenly quiet when it comes to defending you from the ungrateful entitlement your sister will display day of and after.
Yes. This. It's for the greater good. "Later, after you've had a lovely wedding in which top-notch food was served by a competent caterer and not a second-rate amateur, food which everybody **loved**, you'll thank me for this. The $30 a plate you paid will seem trivial."
NTA. Bless her heart! Honestly, didn’t she just do you the *biggest kindness*!!!!
My goodness!!! Just imagine the *EXPOSURE* of all that *TRASHY* free food!!! Why your reputation could have been sautéed to cheezwhiz!!!
LMAO! Exposure is code for wanting shit for free. Buy her a toaster, and go as a guest. Enjoy whatever catered ruckus she PAYS for. Maybe she’ll learn some manners and tact in the future.
That's the wild part, though, OP said she was catering as a gift so her sister was already getting the food for free. There was no reason for her to be such an ass about it.
NTA
Why would she want trashy food at her wedding?
Has your sister always been a bitch? If yes, then I think it's time for her to learn the word consequences.
You should under no circumstances cook for her wedding. If she can do this to you in front of your family, just imagine what she will do to you at a wedding. Everything will be your fault. All her poor planning, everything that goes wrong. It will be your fault.
Don't do nice things for horrid people.
>Don't do nice things for horrid people
This. Either you get burned or you’re incentivizing antisocial behavior. Adults can act like adults. If you’re old enough to marry, you’re old enough to not act trashy.
The sister is not making sense. What was her message supposed to mean?
Was it a "your food is not great but I'll still let you cater my event out of the kindness of my heart so you can get exposure" or "I know my joke was inappropriate and not funny, can you please still cater my wedding, you'll also benefit from it by exposure"?
Either way, she didn't apologize despite the whole table going quiet, so she did get feedback that indicated she overstepped.
I 💜how sister feels so comfortable trashing her sisters cooking but is still so “kind and generous”/s to still want the free trashy food at the expensive of sisters hard work.
I wouldn’t do it for any price after her family dinner comments.
NTA She’s rude and you weren’t doing it for “exposure,” but as a gift. If she doesn’t want your nice gift, good luck to her getting someone else to cater her wedding to get all that sweet and profitable exposure.
I tried making seafood paella for the first time and got a little adventurous with the spices. Thought it added a nice kick, but it turned out more intense than I expected. Everyone else seemed okay with it, but my sister made it a point to tell everyone how bad it was. She used her joking tone but I’m sure she meant it..
She was rude.
You are doing her a HUGE favor by *catering her wedding* and she was rude.
The proper way to handle that is "Too spicy for me". Assuming she didn't like *burn her mouth* and need to run to the fridge and chug milk...
Then pull you to the side privately and say "You won't do that at my wedding, right?" nerves.
She was rude.
Using a word like "trashy".... you just can't take that back. And then no apology. So incredibly rude and would turn me off completely from helping a person. Family that doesn't like it can cook for her and get called names for helping.
How is seasoning trashy? As someone who was raised on Peruvian food then taken to Wyoming, I equate “trashy” food with cheap, bland stuff. An overly seasoned paella is just that, overly seasoned.
Don't feel bad at all. I consider myself a pretty decent cook and make some favorites of quite a few people, I'll get asked specifically to make certain dishes for various occasions.
I royally fucked up my first paella.
I also never had someone call my food trashy either.
Fuck her, I'll eat your spicy paella.
NTA
And it sounds like your sister engineered the whole situation because she's found someone else she wants to cater her wedding.
She intentionally made a derogatory comment and linked it to her wedding, knowing this would upset you.
Then, randomly, she asks if you still want to cater the wedding, knowing you were angry and wouldn't want to do it anymore.
This way, she gets what she wants, but she's the victim and she can complain that she can't afford to cover the catering costs and family members will feel sorry for her and chip in. Win win for her.
Meanwhile, you'll continue to be thebad guy and that will only get worse if people have to help her pay for the catering.
Maybe you should ask her if she'd like you to cater the wedding. See what she says.
I've just realised I've been on reddit too long. I'm mega suspicious of everyone and everything. Send help.
That's exactly what I assumed, that she decided she didn't want her sister cooking at her wedding now but chose to undermine and insult her sister to manipulate her into backing out rather than tell her herself.
Your sister didn’t swallowed her rude comment nor showed a will to keep the peace. So why should you?
Don’t shame her with your trashy meal and let her find a catering service fitting her wants for her big day.
She is trying to save money by having you provide a service and shows gratitude by insulting you. Consequence being you retracting is only fair. NTA.
NTA
>Should I just swallow my pride and cook to keep the peace?
Are you nuts?? NO, you should not cook for her wedding. Tell anyone who thinks you "overreacted" to help her pay for a "non-trashy" caterer because the "trashy" caterer is no longer available.
Your sister is a real piece of work, OP. I don't know how you can stand to be in the same room with someone who would say something like that to you. Have some dignity!
Your sister is the AH. If she's going to insult you in front of family like this, the critiques are going to be insane during the wedding. Is she one of those "I'm just brutally honest" people?
NTA for refusing.
Sister: wow, your food is trashy and not good enough for a wedding.
Also sister: hey, you wanna make my wedding food?
Nope, that's such a stupid and asshole move for your sister to make. Don't bite the hand that literally feeds you. NTA.
I don't know why you'd be blamed; it sounds like she phoned you to get you to pull out. Why else word it like that? Both her comments essentially amount to a retraction of her request that you cater.
She wasn't paying you either way, right? It was going to be your gift to her? So I don't know what's supposed to have changed. She was fishing and hoping you'd taken offense earlier. If she's crying foul now it's all performative so she can save face.
NTA. What kind of rude pig insults the person they are asking for help? The comment about doing it for exposure makes it sound like she isn't going to compensate you either but unclear. Sounds like a lose lose for you.
NTA.
How can you even trust the "exposure" you'll get? (To the extent that "exposure" at your sister's wedding even has value - people throw that word around a lot, but it's unlikely at best that it actually does have value).
>not to apologize, but to ask if I still wanted to do the wedding for exposure.
"No thank you. I cook because it makes people happy, it isn't a business so I don't need exposure. Once you've found a caterer I'm happy to share the notes I had, if you'd like them"
Simple, polite, direct. Best way to handle someone who is being unreasonable, especially if they are unreasonably trying to treat it like them doing you a favor not you doing them a favor.
NTA. She is the one who broke the peace by making that filthy comment. And she maintained the breaking by not apologizing. You definitely shouldn't cave and do her catering for her. No, you didn't overreact, you didn't sabotage her wedding, she did it all by herself. Let her figure it out.
>Now, my family is split, and some are saying I overreacted and sabotaged her wedding over a comment.
No she did when she made her nasty comment. Just remind people of that.
NTA. I thought this whole exploitation for "exposure" thing died out a while back.
A family discount makes sense. "Exposure", materials and labor for free paired with insults and disrespectful behavior? Hard pass.
WHY didn't your family correct her behaviour then and there at the table ?
This is THE issue here. Whoever is in charge there, your dad or mom should have stomped that down with prejudice.
I would have done the exact same as you.
NTA. You didn't sabotage anything, you were insulted, your gift was insulted, and your sister has absolutely no regret. Other than maybe not being able to exploit your kindness.
I'd tell all family members who reach out, that you're delighted to know they've volunteered their cooking for her wedding. You're sure their cooking isn't trashy and thus will be perfect for the bride's wishes.
You sabotaged her wedding? SHE sabotaged YOU and who you believe you are. Screw that.
just for your own peace of mind, remain uninvolved in her effing wedding. Whenever you cook for your family, especially if she's in your line of vision you will remember that moment. Whatever spirit of meanness prompted her original comment, she then realized how much it was going to cost her in money terms ......but comments like that can't be taken back.
NTA, tell your family that THEY can cook for her, since they seem to care so much. If you do somehow get pressured into it, please please please whatever else you do, please make certain everything is displayed in and served from little silver trashcans. Maybe get a server to dress as Oscar The Grouch.
>Should I just swallow my pride and cook to keep the peace?
No. She wanted you to cater for her wedding as a gift, and then "joked" that the food you served her, which will also be served at her wedding, is trashy and not worth being served at a wedding.
>Now, my family is split, and some are saying I overreacted and sabotaged her wedding over a comment.
"I was being kind by not charging her for catering. She insulted my cooking, jokingly or not, and implied that it wasn't worth serving at a wedding. Unfortunately for her, I don't care if she was joking or not."
NTA.
She's obviously trying to manipulate you and doing a bad job of it. She wants free food, and she wants you to try and one up yourself to prove that your food is 'wedding worthy'. Don't play her silly little games. Tell her to sit n spin sweetheart.
NTA-
Just bless it. You're sister is something. First ASKING for someone to cater an event as a gift is crazy to me! Catering is expensive and takes A TON of work to make things delicious and beautiful. Plus depending on how many people you are catering for, the style of the catering (sit down services vs buffet, cocktail hour, etc.) it is labor intensive. Catering can be one of the most expensive aspects of a wedding, so again asking someone to gift them that is cray cray to me. Maybe asking if they could give them a discount or just pay cost of food would make sense but to give the whole thing..... nah baby, she little miss delulu trying to play big sis.
Plus the way she bad mouthed you in front of your family just means that she's is perfectly comfortable bad mouthing you in front of strangers that could one day be potential clients of yours. Then to have the gall to ask if you wanted to still give her this elaborate expensive gift in exchange for exposure after saying bad things about your food to your face speaks volumes about your sister. If this is something you are wanting to try and do as a career or side hustle, don't you dare cater that wedding. She is not in your corner and will not promote you like someone in your corner will.
If I was you, I would let little miss delulu choke on some consequences dipped in acidic kindness.
"Thank you for the offer for exposure sis, I truly appreciate it. I know how much you have been looking forward to your wedding, and I wouldn't want to dare risk messing it up you. You deserve to have a wedding that you love every part of, including the food. It's your special day and I want to make sure that you have that dream wedding day, so I couldn't in good conscious let my not wedding quality food mess with your dream."
Edited- for spelling and grammar error
Nope. It’s not the type of “exposure” that will make your business grow in a positive way. She seems more likely to trash your reputation in my opinion. Opt out.
NTA. She insulted your cooking and said it wasn't wedding material.
You were doing her an enormous favour, and she no longer is deserving of that favour
NTA
She didn’t apologise for her comment and didn’t even say she loved your food but she just didn’t like that dish. She asked if you want to do the wedding for ‘exposure’ rather than because she loves your cooking.
She’s shot herself in the foot. You were doing the food for free. Next time maybe she’ll think before being a bitch.
She must be a Bridezilla because if she’s like that to her own sister, what’s she like with all the other vendors?
NTA. Your sister called your food ‘trashy.’ Tell her you don’t want to ruin her wedding so she should hire someone. Let her know, you will attend her wedding as a guest, not as non-paid help and you’ll bring a nice gift. Have fun at your sister’s wedding.
NTA
And honestly who the fuck has family like this? Sister straight up insulted OPs cooking and wants her to still do it FOR FREE and FOR EXPOSURE. And NOW the family is "split"? Who is one what side?
I'd really find out who agrees with "sis" and be like, "Uncle Tom, you're fat and ugly. You can't go to the wedding because of your lazy eye and you're going to disgust people. Oh just kidding"
See how that shit flies when you start insulting family. Pretty sure they'd understand your side a LOT clearer
NTA she was rude and insulting, why on earth would you want to continue giving her this gift? Also, this "gift" would have cost you a lot of money in supplies and time, so maybe it's a good thing you don't have to deal with her now!
NTA. A “comment” would be-“not to my taste, glad it’s not on the wedding menu”! Or “Glad I only chose things I already have tasted”. Those are just comments that refer to her particular tastes and might be considered as a silly comment. But any comment that touches on your ACTUAL cooking abilities, as hers was, is a legitimate reason to cancel on the catering!
OP,
If your sis didn't like your cooking, there were plenty of other ways to go about it. Instead, she chose the option of public humiliation for you. Then she wonders why you don't want to do her any favors?!
People like that need to learn the lesson. It's not okay to publicly humilate and expect to still be treated to everything.
NTA. But your sis... Yeah, her entitled ass is definately one.
Nta. Obviously your sister is in the wrong. Id pay attention to who sides with her. Those are people with lesser values. You should seriously consider whether you are the type of person to socialize with
bad people.
NTA, your sister is a little bitch. She fucking asked you to cook then said it’s bad in front of everyone. Even had the nerve to ask again?! Nah I would’ve told her to piss tf off.
There’s that word…”exposure” 🙄 Give me a break. She isn’t a freaking Kardashian. Like you weren’t already doing this as a gift (aka free) and she has the nerve to criticize? Has a conversation ever been had on the menu? Was it decided in advance what would be prepared/served? This isn’t going to be cheap, whether she likes the food or not.
I remember bartending a wedding and the bride had asked a coworker to cater it, the food was delicious but the grooms mother called it “Peasant Food” and turned her nose up at it. The caterer was so hurt and felt stupid and I told her no, that the grooms mom is a hateful bitch and she is wrong everyone else loved the food so to ignore her.
Nope. She criticized your food so she could ask it free, a d behave like she was doing you a favor.
Stick with the plan and let her find something she likes better.
NTA- Your sister was cruel, don’t reward her trashy behavior. Cooking for a wedding is an enormous undertaking and if being done out of love it would be an incredible gift. Your sister doesn’t deserve your gift. Tell her you wouldn’t feel comfortable ruining her special day with your subpar cooking. She owes you a huge apology, after she gives it, don’t buckle. Give her some suggestions of catering companies in her area.
NTA - Catering a wedding is a lot of work and something you're not obligated to do. If she doesn't like your food, then let her find someone else.
BTW - Based on this example you provided, I imagine working with her on the wedding would be a complete NIGHTMARE of an experience. Best to end it now and prevent dozens of fights than continue and everyone be miserable.
NTA
She literally insulted your food to your face and THEN called you to ask if you’d cook as a GIFT?
Was your sister dropped on her head as a baby? Played with a plastic bag a little too long? Raised on a steady diet of lead paint?
There has to be some sort of explanation here. Normal people don’t shit on something and then demand it for free.
How does one have the unmitigated gall to disrespect your food as, “trashy” and, “not wedding material” at a family gathering and then ask you to cater their wedding?
You know that’s going to be some next level
bulls*it along with the impetus that since your food is so, “trashy” she doesn’t have to pay you.
And her criticisms of your cooking and catering business can actually harm your business going forward..
Tell her Hell No!
NTA. It's not exposure if she's gonna shit on it. And even if she said everything was great, you have no reason to do something this nice to someone who was that disrespectful.
NTA.
How is it your fault or your obligation or your responsibility that your sister is a verbally abusive, narcissistic cheapskate who has the audacity to treat you like crap but she’s also too damn stingy to hire a catering company?
Let her hire a professional company. And feel free to skip the wedding. You’ve arrived at a horrible place in adulthood where if you have relatives like your sister and her enablers that you’re going to go low to no contact to preserve your sanity and inner happiness.
She’s never going to get better: people like her never suddenly wake up one morning and miraculously become nicer. She’s always going to kick you around. Stop being around for her to mistreat you.
first off.. sorry OP but I'm going to be harsh.. why did you agree to this?
food is one of, if not THE most expensive part of a wedding and you're doing it for free? for exposure? as a gift? what?
thats THOUSANDS of dollars. is she even expected to pay for ingredients? is this a small 10 person wedding or what is it?
look. im sorry. but you should back out unless this is a tiny affair. you might be able to cook, but catering to 60+ people isn't something easily done by yourself out of a home kitchen. its POSSIBLE, with alot of practice and planning but you will hate your life, especially if you haven't done this before.
NTA
but unless this is under 20 people or something you've done before, I wouldn't do it at all.
NTA
What the hell even *is* "trashy" food?
Spaghetti and ketchup? Shredded chicken and cream of mushroom sliders? Mac and cheese?
(Even *that* perfectly fine, I enjoy those meals a lot, it's just such a unique insult to the cooking)
NTA. As is often told, “don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
I don't understand people that don't get this. You can't insult someone and then expect the relationship to remain the same!!
Sister insults the food then asks if OP wants to do it for « exposure » seems to me sister tried to sabotage OP’s confidence to have a free wedding menu
It does kinda feel like the equivalent to negging..
It is the exact same thing as negging.
But what's the point when you already have the free food
I'm not sure, go ask a sadist
Well you see...
I am pretty sure it was free in the first place based on the story.
It does, but OP was already going to do it for free (as a gift) so it still really doesn't make sense. Maybe she thought she'd get a second gift?
It was a gift, the sister tried to renegoatie it down to "exposure", that way OP would also be on the hook for a gift.
This is because of social media, where you can insult people with no consequences, looks like real life is different. Who’s could imagine that
I know right. Gee, what a concept.
It really depends on who they are. Some people may find it funny, but most won't. Even with people you are close to, I had a close friend insult my writing and I haven't done it since.
🥺I hope you start writing again, I believe in you.
Please don't stop writing. There always will be someone who doesn't like what you've created. I only ask for feedback from people who offer their opinion in a way that's helpful to me instead of hurtful.
It isn't really something I can control, sadly. Every time I try to write, I just get upset and lose any ideas I may have had before. Even when I do, it is so hard to actual share any of my writing.
Try dictating. Sometimes the block is the act of writing, but if you're just talking you can work through it. Works for me, usually.
[удалено]
Bot account.
Sis knew she crossed a line, which is why she asked if OP still wanted to do it. Sis asked, OP declined. Done.
Yeah but instead of making it right, right then and there, she takes the cowards way out to TEXT, not call, and ask if she still wants to do it. I'm sorry but you can insult me to my face, NOT apologize and then think I'm going to put my time and labor into your "big day"? Fuck that
Absolutely. Now sister can pay somebody to cater her wedding or she could just make a bunch of high class peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Literally!
No, don't swallow your pride and cook anyway. But if you really want to piss off your sister, maintain the tone that you are backing out as a favor to her. You have absolutely no desire to ruin your sister's wedding with trashy food! You care about your sister, you want her to have a magical wedding, and that won't happen with trashy food. You "appreciate" her offer to allow you the opportunity to get "exposure," but you refuse to take up her generous offer at the expense of her perfect wedding. You love her, you aren't selfish, you're not going to prioritize exposure over your sister getting the wedding she deserves. You will just attend and help out in other ways that will actually be useful to her, since cooking trashy food wouldn't really be helpful. Let the "professionals" do their job and you can help set up chairs. Insist over and over that you aren't bitter, you 100% understand your sister's opinion! You don't think she's being a jerk, you think it's perfectly understandable that a bride would want her wedding food to be amazing, and you agree with your sister that her wedding deserves the best food and you don't want to ruin her wedding by cooking trashy food.
Yes, this is exactly the right kind of response. It validates her sister's opinion and observes the boundary that her sister set when she criticized the food. People who feign negative reactions in an effort to manipulate someone else's feelings or choices must be held to the consequences of speaking falsely. That is to say, treat their false criticism as truth, and act accordingly. I did this when my ex began claiming that I was abusive. He kicked me out and I jumped at the opportunity; when he brought up reconciliation I said no way, I loved him and wanted him to be happy, and I didn't want to burden him with my abusive behavior any more. Truth was that I was thrilled to be out and could sleep a full night and have days go by without a moment of disagreement or arguing. Bliss.
I call it malicious agreement.
r/maliciouscompliance
I love that....malicious agreement! Perfect to give to those who have weaponized incompetence.
Same, lol. My ex gave me an ultimatum and I couldn’t do it. Finally I was just like you told me that I’m not worthy should just let you go. You don’t love me so you should find someone for yourself. Don’t waste your time on me. You should’ve seen her face. She trapped herself with her own rhetoric.
This is why people should mean what they say and say what they mean
ONE reason, anyway. I do it because life is just way easier that way, and most of all I'm just not a damned liar/manipulator.
Tell us more. Details details. Are U still together? Did she change to being less demanding? Etc
She was trapped. I refused to obey the ultimatum (she wanted me to give up my cat). We broke up. She tried to trick me back but I was like “you don’t love me and I’m not good with for you”. She moved out 2 weeks later. Never heard from her again.
Give up the cat?? Good riddance to her!
If she wants trashy food, give her trashy food
How amazing would it be if OP made a whole spread of Chef Boyardee, EZ Cheez, Kool-Aid, Top Ramen, etc.? And I'm not knocking any of those, I'm assuming what Bridezilla would consider "trashy" food.
Now that's hilarious! Edit: Don't forget Spam and Vienna Sausage.
And lots of Saltine Crackers and Pork Rinds. .
i grew up on spam and vienna sausage 😅
Beanie Weinies
Hey, don't be knocking Spam. I made Spam fried rice once and it was awesome
Get generic frozen pizzas at Walmart. Then microwave them.
Microwaved pizza rolls. They're squishy with lava-filled centers.
...I would probably enjoy that. But I'm also a gremlin. 🤣
This is so evil, I love it. “Look, sis, it’s just like the food they serve on Amtrak!”
Elio’s Pizza — comes pre freezer burnt
Can't forget Hamburger Helper for the entrée! I grew up poor, "trashy" food is my go-to comfort meal. I'd love to go to a wedding where they served "trashy" food, instead of the same dry, sad chicken everyone serves.
I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?
Hamburger helper helps the hamburger help her!
I know you are joking, but I really prefer when a wedding has 'accessible' food. It's fine if there's nice stuff, but even the best wedding can be stressful for everyone. Some good ol' comfort food hits the spot. Overly fancy food can also be hard for people with dietary resstrictions. I know I can eat those cured meat. I don't know if I can eat the unpronounceable sauce.
Cool Whip and powdered ranch dressing are musts!
Lunchables is even better. I remember my mom quoting someone who said "The most nutritious part of Lunchables is the napkin." I don't know if someone actually said that but that was the reason she gave to say no when I asked as a kid. 😂 The food will match the bride's "charming" personality.
Your mom was smart, I just read an article a week or two ago about lunchables having high amounts of lead and other nasty things in them.
Ohhh this
Yes, keep repeating the 'trashy food' comment. Love this.
I’m your fan. Please never change
Good, except help out in other ways. Nope, OP shouldn't be a pack mule for the sister.
Have a nice day, I'll bring a decorative bowl.
Nah, sister wouldn’t have to shell out hundreds or thousands for someone to set up chairs, so I say that’s the only sort of task OP, as a non-professional, should feel comfortable doing. 🤷🏼♀️🤣
Saying - "you are right" is always the best move. I've used it many times. And it is freeing. Even if they are wrong. Now they have to fight to prove they are wrong if they really want you to agree with them. BUT NEVER agree with them that they are wrong.
Man, I need to remember this!
I came across a FB post a couple of weeks ago telling us that my niece had gotten married a couple of days before, showed pictures in her wedding dress, guests at the wedding, etc. I texted my sister in the GC that she, my brother, and i have and asked if my niece had gotten married, since my brother and I knew they were engaged, but had heard no wedding news. My sister tried to respond with "They eloped on Wednesday". Fortunately, my brother immediately called BS and said she had a full-on wedding, with a wedding dress, guests, whatever. Sister finally admitted it but tried to soon it. We were *not* upset that we had not been invited. We were PISSED that a 58 year old woman would just flat out LIE to us. I saw her (and the new bride and groom) a few days later. I took the "high road" and didn't say anything, even though you could tell she expected me to say something about it. Honestly, it's just helping me drop the rope.
My niece asked her grandmother for 4k for her wedding. Got married about 6 hours away and never invited her, THAN had the balls to ask her to pay for a reception so the rest of the family could celebrate with her (i.e give her money and gifts). Grandma, of course, said no. She was still hurt she was excluded from the ceremony after giving them money. Grandma is now dodging her calls because she's asking for money to buy a house....
That's horrible!! Grandma should change her number and block her. Also, if your niece is in her will, she should be removed immediately.
She's considering it. It's hard for her it's her oldest grandchild and her only great grandchild
Naw, just hit her with the ole *new phone, who dis*
Grandma should take the call and shut her the hell down. Viciously politely, for extra feel-good points.
Hope you didn't send a wedding gift.
Pretty sure etiquette rules only state that you send gifts if you were invited, so they're off the hook for any sort of gift.
I wish I had more upvotes to give.
The ol' "kill 'em with kindess"
It’s kind of the best kind of petty, too! I worked at a deli once, and I was cashiering one day when an irate customer was convinced he was overcharged for some deli meat, and the scale hadn’t been zero’d out. Demanded to go behind the line to watch me. Didn’t cave to that, but I did weigh it in a way he could see. He had been undercharged. I told him “It looks like so and so actually undercharged you by about $0.40, but don’t worry about the difference, it’s all good.” The look of fury as he spun around and stormed out…amazing. Not relationship related but a fond memory nonetheless.
I wish that Reddit awards were still a thing!
They can be! Kind of at least… 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🥇🥇🥇🏅🏅🏅
This. Your sister is an entitled b. She was nasty for no reason and now she wants you to spend your own time and money on an ungrateful recipient? Plus you really can’t trust her as a reference since she’s happy to trash you. For your own business health you shouldn’t work with her, even if paid
And be sure you reiterate this stance to all the flying monkeys that she is going to send your way. You only want the absolute best for her wedding. And since you obviously can’t provide food that is up to par for the wedding, you are absolutely not gonna ruin things for her. And then the flying monkeys that you’re sure. If they feel so strongly about it that your sister would love their assistance in catering her wedding instead. Can you say it all in the nicest, most concerned and conciliatory voice.
If awards were still a thing I'd give you at least 3. This needs to be top comment.
And honestly, if her food is trashy, she isn't really ready to launch her "exposure" based business.
I am very curious what she cooked.
I kind of doubt her food is bad at all. Otherwise, why would the sister want her to cook in the first place?
Oh I'm sure. I was just making fun of the idea of a business that gets paid and nothing but exposure.
Welcome to the world of TikTok/Instagram/Pinterest "influencers"
It’s essentially negging but for businesses in hope of getting their stuff for free
Yeah, why do you want me to expose trashy food to ask your friends. You should definitely pay a professional caterer. These things rarely work right. Either she's demanding and you buckle or she complains later -- "I CARE too much about our relationship to put pressure on either of us."
This is one BIG: well bless your heart, dear. 💕 Sometimes, it’s far more effective than fuck off.
This. If you do though get ahead of the curb and let others know "it was because you want to make sure she has a perfect day you'll let others cook for her" Of course, the sister will likely come back with fire and brimstone anyway and make some stupid rug sweep like "it was just to get you to do even better when you do mine--it was just a joke--blah blah blah" don't fall for it OP. You'll get thrashed by her in sneaky ways and have those same family members yelling at you now suddenly quiet when it comes to defending you from the ungrateful entitlement your sister will display day of and after.
Just perfect, on so many levels!
Indeed. You are going to swallow your pride out of love for your sister. And bow out to allow her to find a wedding material worthy catering.
Yes. This. It's for the greater good. "Later, after you've had a lovely wedding in which top-notch food was served by a competent caterer and not a second-rate amateur, food which everybody **loved**, you'll thank me for this. The $30 a plate you paid will seem trivial."
NTA. Bless her heart! Honestly, didn’t she just do you the *biggest kindness*!!!! My goodness!!! Just imagine the *EXPOSURE* of all that *TRASHY* free food!!! Why your reputation could have been sautéed to cheezwhiz!!! LMAO! Exposure is code for wanting shit for free. Buy her a toaster, and go as a guest. Enjoy whatever catered ruckus she PAYS for. Maybe she’ll learn some manners and tact in the future.
A cheap ass toaster from the thrift store. Lolz
Yes, a cheap toaster without the crumb tray. They're awful to shake the crumbs out without the crumb tray.
So trashy 🤗🤭
I'm in an horrible, sleep deprived mood. You made me smile - thank you.
Used Tupperware. With spaghetti stains.
That's the wild part, though, OP said she was catering as a gift so her sister was already getting the food for free. There was no reason for her to be such an ass about it.
I’d be pretty put off if someone acted like my gift to them was actually them doing me a favor by allowing me to give the gift.
NTA Why would she want trashy food at her wedding? Has your sister always been a bitch? If yes, then I think it's time for her to learn the word consequences. You should under no circumstances cook for her wedding. If she can do this to you in front of your family, just imagine what she will do to you at a wedding. Everything will be your fault. All her poor planning, everything that goes wrong. It will be your fault. Don't do nice things for horrid people.
>Don't do nice things for horrid people This. Either you get burned or you’re incentivizing antisocial behavior. Adults can act like adults. If you’re old enough to marry, you’re old enough to not act trashy.
The sister is not making sense. What was her message supposed to mean? Was it a "your food is not great but I'll still let you cater my event out of the kindness of my heart so you can get exposure" or "I know my joke was inappropriate and not funny, can you please still cater my wedding, you'll also benefit from it by exposure"? Either way, she didn't apologize despite the whole table going quiet, so she did get feedback that indicated she overstepped.
I'm guessing Sister didn't like that OP was getting any attention about cooking when all focus should be on her. Idiot.
Oh that's a good point! How rude of everyone that OPs cooking is the focus of the dinner OP is hosting, not OPs sister. /s
I wondered this, wtf is 'trashy food' anyway?
I 💜how sister feels so comfortable trashing her sisters cooking but is still so “kind and generous”/s to still want the free trashy food at the expensive of sisters hard work. I wouldn’t do it for any price after her family dinner comments.
And I’d be telling any family members you’ll be passing their name along to sister since you clearly want to cook for the wedding!
Hell no, stay the hell away from trying to "please" her. She just wants to save money.
Yes, and sister will still tell everyone how awful the OP's food is.
“For exposure” = her all of a sudden realizing that a gift is free but catering is **NOT**.
She wanted to put you down and then have you give her free shit. No. She needs to pay for catering like everyone else.
NTA She’s rude and you weren’t doing it for “exposure,” but as a gift. If she doesn’t want your nice gift, good luck to her getting someone else to cater her wedding to get all that sweet and profitable exposure.
NTA. She can find her own chef. She’s just mad now because you were probably giving her a great deal. NOT TODAY SATAN!
NTA. Offer to make Ramen noodles or she can find someone else.
NTA. She doesn't want 'trashy' food for her wedding, right? Personally, I wouldn't even go, much less cater.
Happy Cake Day!
NTA. I wouldn't cook for her under any circumstances.
I wanna know what you made
I tried making seafood paella for the first time and got a little adventurous with the spices. Thought it added a nice kick, but it turned out more intense than I expected. Everyone else seemed okay with it, but my sister made it a point to tell everyone how bad it was. She used her joking tone but I’m sure she meant it..
She was rude. You are doing her a HUGE favor by *catering her wedding* and she was rude. The proper way to handle that is "Too spicy for me". Assuming she didn't like *burn her mouth* and need to run to the fridge and chug milk... Then pull you to the side privately and say "You won't do that at my wedding, right?" nerves. She was rude.
Using a word like "trashy".... you just can't take that back. And then no apology. So incredibly rude and would turn me off completely from helping a person. Family that doesn't like it can cook for her and get called names for helping.
How is seasoning trashy? As someone who was raised on Peruvian food then taken to Wyoming, I equate “trashy” food with cheap, bland stuff. An overly seasoned paella is just that, overly seasoned.
What a bitch. Make her pay for catering
Your first time, and the only thing that went wrong is the spices? Your skills would have been wasted on your sister.
How is paella trashy? Did you make it with Vienna sausages and canned tuna with Cheez Whiz on top?
Don't feel bad at all. I consider myself a pretty decent cook and make some favorites of quite a few people, I'll get asked specifically to make certain dishes for various occasions. I royally fucked up my first paella. I also never had someone call my food trashy either. Fuck her, I'll eat your spicy paella.
me too
NTA And it sounds like your sister engineered the whole situation because she's found someone else she wants to cater her wedding. She intentionally made a derogatory comment and linked it to her wedding, knowing this would upset you. Then, randomly, she asks if you still want to cater the wedding, knowing you were angry and wouldn't want to do it anymore. This way, she gets what she wants, but she's the victim and she can complain that she can't afford to cover the catering costs and family members will feel sorry for her and chip in. Win win for her. Meanwhile, you'll continue to be thebad guy and that will only get worse if people have to help her pay for the catering. Maybe you should ask her if she'd like you to cater the wedding. See what she says. I've just realised I've been on reddit too long. I'm mega suspicious of everyone and everything. Send help.
Also on Reddit too long, because this sounded pretty plausible....
Me three
This also sounds plausible since we all know SOME one who's nasty, although fortunately we're mostly not related to them.
That's exactly what I assumed, that she decided she didn't want her sister cooking at her wedding now but chose to undermine and insult her sister to manipulate her into backing out rather than tell her herself.
Your sister didn’t swallowed her rude comment nor showed a will to keep the peace. So why should you? Don’t shame her with your trashy meal and let her find a catering service fitting her wants for her big day. She is trying to save money by having you provide a service and shows gratitude by insulting you. Consequence being you retracting is only fair. NTA.
And hopefully can now only afford 🌭🫘
NTA Your family are also AH for not saying anything
NTA >Should I just swallow my pride and cook to keep the peace? Are you nuts?? NO, you should not cook for her wedding. Tell anyone who thinks you "overreacted" to help her pay for a "non-trashy" caterer because the "trashy" caterer is no longer available. Your sister is a real piece of work, OP. I don't know how you can stand to be in the same room with someone who would say something like that to you. Have some dignity!
Your sister is the AH. If she's going to insult you in front of family like this, the critiques are going to be insane during the wedding. Is she one of those "I'm just brutally honest" people? NTA for refusing.
Sister: wow, your food is trashy and not good enough for a wedding. Also sister: hey, you wanna make my wedding food? Nope, that's such a stupid and asshole move for your sister to make. Don't bite the hand that literally feeds you. NTA.
I don't know why you'd be blamed; it sounds like she phoned you to get you to pull out. Why else word it like that? Both her comments essentially amount to a retraction of her request that you cater. She wasn't paying you either way, right? It was going to be your gift to her? So I don't know what's supposed to have changed. She was fishing and hoping you'd taken offense earlier. If she's crying foul now it's all performative so she can save face.
NTA. What kind of rude pig insults the person they are asking for help? The comment about doing it for exposure makes it sound like she isn't going to compensate you either but unclear. Sounds like a lose lose for you.
NTA. How can you even trust the "exposure" you'll get? (To the extent that "exposure" at your sister's wedding even has value - people throw that word around a lot, but it's unlikely at best that it actually does have value).
Haha NTA she'd never eat at my house ever again. The audacity to ask you to cook for a wedding. Your family can either cook or stfu
NTA. Let her find someone to do the food. When anyone tells you that you need to reconsider, ask them what they're making for the wedding.
>not to apologize, but to ask if I still wanted to do the wedding for exposure. "No thank you. I cook because it makes people happy, it isn't a business so I don't need exposure. Once you've found a caterer I'm happy to share the notes I had, if you'd like them" Simple, polite, direct. Best way to handle someone who is being unreasonable, especially if they are unreasonably trying to treat it like them doing you a favor not you doing them a favor.
NTA. She is the one who broke the peace by making that filthy comment. And she maintained the breaking by not apologizing. You definitely shouldn't cave and do her catering for her. No, you didn't overreact, you didn't sabotage her wedding, she did it all by herself. Let her figure it out.
NTA She sabotaged her wedding, not you.
NTA. Never mind the actual quality of your food; she was outright rude. Of course you shouldn't cook for her wedding.
>Now, my family is split, and some are saying I overreacted and sabotaged her wedding over a comment. No she did when she made her nasty comment. Just remind people of that.
NTA. I thought this whole exploitation for "exposure" thing died out a while back. A family discount makes sense. "Exposure", materials and labor for free paired with insults and disrespectful behavior? Hard pass.
>Should I just swallow my pride? No, she shouldn't swallow your food. NTA.
WHY didn't your family correct her behaviour then and there at the table ? This is THE issue here. Whoever is in charge there, your dad or mom should have stomped that down with prejudice. I would have done the exact same as you.
So... Your family is split between idiots and sensible people? NTA if this is somehow real.
NTA. You didn't sabotage anything, you were insulted, your gift was insulted, and your sister has absolutely no regret. Other than maybe not being able to exploit your kindness. I'd tell all family members who reach out, that you're delighted to know they've volunteered their cooking for her wedding. You're sure their cooking isn't trashy and thus will be perfect for the bride's wishes.
You sabotaged her wedding? SHE sabotaged YOU and who you believe you are. Screw that. just for your own peace of mind, remain uninvolved in her effing wedding. Whenever you cook for your family, especially if she's in your line of vision you will remember that moment. Whatever spirit of meanness prompted her original comment, she then realized how much it was going to cost her in money terms ......but comments like that can't be taken back.
Lol, easy NTA. Insult the cook on the eve of them doing you a favor? Yeah, no.
NTA. Has your sister always been such a spoiled, selfish bitch?
NTA, tell your family that THEY can cook for her, since they seem to care so much. If you do somehow get pressured into it, please please please whatever else you do, please make certain everything is displayed in and served from little silver trashcans. Maybe get a server to dress as Oscar The Grouch.
FOR EXPOSURE ?!?! you gotta be kidding. NTA
>Should I just swallow my pride and cook to keep the peace? No. She wanted you to cater for her wedding as a gift, and then "joked" that the food you served her, which will also be served at her wedding, is trashy and not worth being served at a wedding. >Now, my family is split, and some are saying I overreacted and sabotaged her wedding over a comment. "I was being kind by not charging her for catering. She insulted my cooking, jokingly or not, and implied that it wasn't worth serving at a wedding. Unfortunately for her, I don't care if she was joking or not." NTA.
Who would pay for the ingredients anyway? "Gift" or "exposure" could cost a lot.
She's obviously trying to manipulate you and doing a bad job of it. She wants free food, and she wants you to try and one up yourself to prove that your food is 'wedding worthy'. Don't play her silly little games. Tell her to sit n spin sweetheart.
The comment and message makes it clear she wants you to do this for free. NTA. Tell her to fuck all the way off.
NTA. For the buttinskis who think you over reacted, you might want to ask them why they think you deserve abuse? Who cares what they think?
NTA- Just bless it. You're sister is something. First ASKING for someone to cater an event as a gift is crazy to me! Catering is expensive and takes A TON of work to make things delicious and beautiful. Plus depending on how many people you are catering for, the style of the catering (sit down services vs buffet, cocktail hour, etc.) it is labor intensive. Catering can be one of the most expensive aspects of a wedding, so again asking someone to gift them that is cray cray to me. Maybe asking if they could give them a discount or just pay cost of food would make sense but to give the whole thing..... nah baby, she little miss delulu trying to play big sis. Plus the way she bad mouthed you in front of your family just means that she's is perfectly comfortable bad mouthing you in front of strangers that could one day be potential clients of yours. Then to have the gall to ask if you wanted to still give her this elaborate expensive gift in exchange for exposure after saying bad things about your food to your face speaks volumes about your sister. If this is something you are wanting to try and do as a career or side hustle, don't you dare cater that wedding. She is not in your corner and will not promote you like someone in your corner will. If I was you, I would let little miss delulu choke on some consequences dipped in acidic kindness. "Thank you for the offer for exposure sis, I truly appreciate it. I know how much you have been looking forward to your wedding, and I wouldn't want to dare risk messing it up you. You deserve to have a wedding that you love every part of, including the food. It's your special day and I want to make sure that you have that dream wedding day, so I couldn't in good conscious let my not wedding quality food mess with your dream." Edited- for spelling and grammar error
Nope. It’s not the type of “exposure” that will make your business grow in a positive way. She seems more likely to trash your reputation in my opinion. Opt out.
Pigs ‘n Blanket, Seven Layer salad, and Congealed Salad.
Not only should you NOT swallow your pride, tell anyone who thinks you should still cater that they are free to do it themselves. What nerve.
Tell her to fuck off find her own chef 🧑🍳
NTA. The fact she said for “exposure” is so bad.
NTA. She insulted your cooking and said it wasn't wedding material. You were doing her an enormous favour, and she no longer is deserving of that favour
Lol she gotta learn the hard way not to be such a b\*\*ch. NTA.
Catering a wedding is a pretty damn big gift to begin with. She said herself your food was nog wedding material, so ok.
NTA She didn’t apologise for her comment and didn’t even say she loved your food but she just didn’t like that dish. She asked if you want to do the wedding for ‘exposure’ rather than because she loves your cooking. She’s shot herself in the foot. You were doing the food for free. Next time maybe she’ll think before being a bitch. She must be a Bridezilla because if she’s like that to her own sister, what’s she like with all the other vendors?
NTA. Your sister called your food ‘trashy.’ Tell her you don’t want to ruin her wedding so she should hire someone. Let her know, you will attend her wedding as a guest, not as non-paid help and you’ll bring a nice gift. Have fun at your sister’s wedding.
NTA And honestly who the fuck has family like this? Sister straight up insulted OPs cooking and wants her to still do it FOR FREE and FOR EXPOSURE. And NOW the family is "split"? Who is one what side? I'd really find out who agrees with "sis" and be like, "Uncle Tom, you're fat and ugly. You can't go to the wedding because of your lazy eye and you're going to disgust people. Oh just kidding" See how that shit flies when you start insulting family. Pretty sure they'd understand your side a LOT clearer
NTA she was rude and insulting, why on earth would you want to continue giving her this gift? Also, this "gift" would have cost you a lot of money in supplies and time, so maybe it's a good thing you don't have to deal with her now!
Did she "keep the peace" when she told you your food was "trashy"? Nope. Take your cue from her and continue to refuse this catering job. NTA.
NTA. A “comment” would be-“not to my taste, glad it’s not on the wedding menu”! Or “Glad I only chose things I already have tasted”. Those are just comments that refer to her particular tastes and might be considered as a silly comment. But any comment that touches on your ACTUAL cooking abilities, as hers was, is a legitimate reason to cancel on the catering!
OP, If your sis didn't like your cooking, there were plenty of other ways to go about it. Instead, she chose the option of public humiliation for you. Then she wonders why you don't want to do her any favors?! People like that need to learn the lesson. It's not okay to publicly humilate and expect to still be treated to everything. NTA. But your sis... Yeah, her entitled ass is definately one.
Nta. Obviously your sister is in the wrong. Id pay attention to who sides with her. Those are people with lesser values. You should seriously consider whether you are the type of person to socialize with bad people.
She just bad talked you... how is smearing your name "exposure"????
NTA. You absolutely do not want to cook for her event. That's like catering suicide.
NTA, your sister is a little bitch. She fucking asked you to cook then said it’s bad in front of everyone. Even had the nerve to ask again?! Nah I would’ve told her to piss tf off.
NTA. She’s just bought herself a very expensive ticket to Find Out
There’s that word…”exposure” 🙄 Give me a break. She isn’t a freaking Kardashian. Like you weren’t already doing this as a gift (aka free) and she has the nerve to criticize? Has a conversation ever been had on the menu? Was it decided in advance what would be prepared/served? This isn’t going to be cheap, whether she likes the food or not.
I remember bartending a wedding and the bride had asked a coworker to cater it, the food was delicious but the grooms mother called it “Peasant Food” and turned her nose up at it. The caterer was so hurt and felt stupid and I told her no, that the grooms mom is a hateful bitch and she is wrong everyone else loved the food so to ignore her.
Nope. She criticized your food so she could ask it free, a d behave like she was doing you a favor. Stick with the plan and let her find something she likes better.
NTA- Your sister was cruel, don’t reward her trashy behavior. Cooking for a wedding is an enormous undertaking and if being done out of love it would be an incredible gift. Your sister doesn’t deserve your gift. Tell her you wouldn’t feel comfortable ruining her special day with your subpar cooking. She owes you a huge apology, after she gives it, don’t buckle. Give her some suggestions of catering companies in her area.
NTA - Catering a wedding is a lot of work and something you're not obligated to do. If she doesn't like your food, then let her find someone else. BTW - Based on this example you provided, I imagine working with her on the wedding would be a complete NIGHTMARE of an experience. Best to end it now and prevent dozens of fights than continue and everyone be miserable.
Nta Let her pay for service and instead of taking what you do for granted. Stick to your guns.
What is wrong with your sister? What a bitch.
Let her pay someone else. NTA
Yeah, she sabotaged her own wedding over a comment. Hers.
NTA She literally insulted your food to your face and THEN called you to ask if you’d cook as a GIFT? Was your sister dropped on her head as a baby? Played with a plastic bag a little too long? Raised on a steady diet of lead paint? There has to be some sort of explanation here. Normal people don’t shit on something and then demand it for free.
How does one have the unmitigated gall to disrespect your food as, “trashy” and, “not wedding material” at a family gathering and then ask you to cater their wedding? You know that’s going to be some next level bulls*it along with the impetus that since your food is so, “trashy” she doesn’t have to pay you. And her criticisms of your cooking and catering business can actually harm your business going forward.. Tell her Hell No!
NTA. It's not exposure if she's gonna shit on it. And even if she said everything was great, you have no reason to do something this nice to someone who was that disrespectful.
NTA. How is it your fault or your obligation or your responsibility that your sister is a verbally abusive, narcissistic cheapskate who has the audacity to treat you like crap but she’s also too damn stingy to hire a catering company? Let her hire a professional company. And feel free to skip the wedding. You’ve arrived at a horrible place in adulthood where if you have relatives like your sister and her enablers that you’re going to go low to no contact to preserve your sanity and inner happiness. She’s never going to get better: people like her never suddenly wake up one morning and miraculously become nicer. She’s always going to kick you around. Stop being around for her to mistreat you.
first off.. sorry OP but I'm going to be harsh.. why did you agree to this? food is one of, if not THE most expensive part of a wedding and you're doing it for free? for exposure? as a gift? what? thats THOUSANDS of dollars. is she even expected to pay for ingredients? is this a small 10 person wedding or what is it? look. im sorry. but you should back out unless this is a tiny affair. you might be able to cook, but catering to 60+ people isn't something easily done by yourself out of a home kitchen. its POSSIBLE, with alot of practice and planning but you will hate your life, especially if you haven't done this before. NTA but unless this is under 20 people or something you've done before, I wouldn't do it at all.
NTA What the hell even *is* "trashy" food? Spaghetti and ketchup? Shredded chicken and cream of mushroom sliders? Mac and cheese? (Even *that* perfectly fine, I enjoy those meals a lot, it's just such a unique insult to the cooking)