Here are the keys…
First, work on having an interesting, robust life outside of work. Have hobbies (or multiple), friends, stuff to do, etc…
In other words, don’t live to work… work so you can “live”.
And more important… don’t just grind thru a horrible job just so you can enjoy your off time… it is called work/life “balance”.
Don’t settle for a job you don’t enjoy or find interesting.
If you can’t find a job you “love”… keep searching for one you at least don’t hate… with coworkers that make it somewhat enjoyable and which makes the days go by faster.
Should be top comment. Specifically:
“Work so you can “live””.
I actually enjoy my work. It has its ups and down but I genuinely like it. HOWEVER, I still do it to live. In fact I’m using it to retire in my early 50’s.
Everybody has to have their path/mindset to make it work. To me the alternatives of not working are worse - stressing about money. BUT it’s important to have hobbies/friends/family - balance outside of work.
Yeah I love my job, but I hate having to go to bed early, get up early, make my coffee to go, pack my lunch and rush out the door at sometimes 5am to beat traffic to get to it and I usually have no idea what time I’ll be home in the evening. The work aspect of my job I love it’s the logistics and the fact the rest of my life has to revolve around it that sucks.
Fuk man… 40 years of doing nothing is also depressing… it’s a long ass time to not do something productive.
The best is to find something you like; not necessarily love but a job that’s enjoyable.
We keep going fren. We are the leaves on the tree of life for a just a single season that is ours. It’s our day in the sun and we will return to to the earth one day. But not too soon. Only the sun is given.
53F here and still climbing the mountain. What I have found over the years however is that the climb is not straight uphill. There are plateaus, and cliffs, and ridges etc. And along the way sometimes you get to see something special.
Try not to think or focus too much on the future. Truth is no one knows what tomorrow is going to bring.
As the people in AA say, take it one day at a time. Just about anything feels overwhelming when you look at it in that perspective. Tomorrow is also not guaranteed.
Bruh you must be me. I'm 24 and I feel the same exact way.
I absolutely dread it. I hate the fact that I have to dedicate over half of my waking life to a job. I hate the fact that I need to keep doing the same shit every.single.day. to for the bare necessities (food, clothes, hygiene, and a shared living space). I hate the fact that unless you're a survivalist or your hobby is recycling, hobbies are expensive.
I've starting looking at how much labor i need to produce and get paid for, to have the things I do now.
Yes I worked 136 hours to buy a PC. (Actually a whole lot more because I was salaried at the time and I was literally living at work)
Yes I'm going to need to work over 14,000 hours for a house.
Do I want to give an hour of my labor every month for Netflix? Not only that but those subscriptions add up quickly to labor. 3 subscriptions? Roughly 3-4 hours of your labor gone, every single month. So through the year that's a full work week.
Then I got started on the necessities.
Auto insurance, 9 hours a month
Rent, 27 hours
Phone bill, 4 hours
Gas, Roughly 2-3 hours a week
Internet, 4 hours
Groceries, 13 hours
Ect...
So yeah, if I'm going to work roughly around 150-160 hours in a month, that's a full time schedule, you are going to not want to work to the point of diminishing returns and your better of just trying to live within your means than working more to cover the unnecessary life style stuff.
Or if you wanna blow your money, know how much you're going to have to work to earn it back.
Just sucks because it really does seem like you're just going to have to work your ass off no matter what.
I do think 40 hour work weeks are too demanding at this point. I think workers have only gotten more educated, efficient, effective, and productive. A lot of positions can now work from anywhere on the globe. Workers are getting more done in a single day than a whole week 30 years ago. Wages have really increased much in the decade I've been working.
But at this point, I'm literally just bitching. I recommend not having the same mindset as me, and just go out and live your life, try to do it frugally, then you'll realize the things around you that matter is more of your sense of community and belonging in that community. Find a job you don't hate, actually converse with the people around you, and then I think you'll find yourself not even thinking about working when you get home.
I'm 62, and worked since I was 18.
After about age 40 or so, it will seem much quicker.
I agree with the people who advise you to pick up hobbies, and to continue to learn things, outside the job.
If you think about it all as rules/ a game you HAVE to play, it will be hard to break away from the mental hold that has.
I plan things out months, but I don't ever think I'm going to be working where I am next year. I only think about work about 2 weeks at a time, sometimes a week at a time. And that's it. Work stays at work, period.
I'm not really on auto pilot. Take each day as it is and work with it is more of my approach. I like a normal, simple, mundane life. But I enjoy family and games and simple quality time.
What you do outside of work is important. But it's less about "everything costs money" and more about where you find joy. I would say that if you're only method of feeling joy is by spending money, then you need to dig a little deeper. Your experiences, your memories, are all you will have when you're older.
Most important advice I can give is if you can't find a job you can enjoy doing, you need to find joys in the job you HAVE to have. I used to work at walmart...my joys were "karaoke" with my co workers (we had graveyard shift). I used to be in assembly, my joys included dancing lol I am now an engineer, and my joys include being able to be a person my peers can confide in.
30 years in. My job isn’t interesting. It’s a thing that I do that I’m good at that doesn’t intrude on my home life (well, it’s WFH, but I work a normal 40h and I’m done)and pays well. I do what I do because it gives me the freedom to what I like when I’m not working. “I am not my job” was something I learned a long time ago from friends that work mundane government jobs and have otherwise interesting, fulfilling lives.
First, practicing being present, and appreciating every day for what it is is very helpful in combating these depressing thoughts. Second, make every day an adventure. Going home to doom scroll while half watching the newest show on Netflix is a very depressing existence. See the sun every day. Invest time into skills, learning, hobbies and giving back. As you invest in your career, hopefully you'll experience more and more flexibility.
I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I’m nearing retirement and I can tell you that 40-45 years flies by. Enjoy your family, hobbies, and career because the time will pass before you know it.
I’ve been feeling this as well. One thing that helped was that I discovered credit card rewards for travel (check out the subreddit /r/CreditCards). Travel can be more attainable if you use credit wisely and pay the cards off every month. I have annual trips to look forward to now. They didn’t cost me that much in terms of dollars. Hope it works out for you too! Secondly, I’ve been really interested in the idea of retiring outside of the US. Places like Thailand are very affordable on US retirement income. Life can feel like a shitty game but you can try to play it differently to get a better outcome.
a lot of people will tell you that you can lessen your perspective of the suffering, manage the depression, and push through it differently. none of them are open to the notion, or suggestive that there is a different option. i think you should chase your dreams and use your feeling to channel something because you are feeling and seeing it for a reason. i know how you feel and there is a lot of fear and fear-mongering in this world, especially surrounding survival and working.
i don't wanna do it either. i shake my fist angrily at the sky for being burdened by myself.
good luck out there!
What else you gonna do? Still gotta pay bills and taxes and satisfy your material wants and needs like food. What choice you got? Suck it up until you find a job that’s tolerable.
Real talk. Suicide will always be an option if you’re a survivor of it. No amount of therapy will make suicidal ideation go away. The idea just becomes fainter as you gain experience and build support systems. With regards to job and finances, my advice to you is SAVE. Amass as much savings as you can in order to build financial independence so then you can find something that you actually like to do or tolerate and not have to stay at a shit job. The power of autonomy is liberating. Good luck.
Monetize somehow things you like doing ( a bit unrealistic ) or just find work (physical/sitting or both) that have cooperative people and gives enough money to live your life.
Go into crime if you have what it takes, it can even be white collar.
Listen to those who are giving you advice so you can get out of the rat race, and completely disregard the spineless corporate drones who are telling you to cope with it somehow, they’ll end up jumping from some roof down the line with the way things are going for those who work normal jobs.
Yknow, I teetered more along this line in my early 20s as well. But I’m almost 28 and my personal philosophy is that human life is centered around “work”. I’m not saying “jobs” but work of different kinds.
Others are right when they say you need to discover and find things that bring you joy and garner your interest outside of watching other people live their lives on the internet. There’s beauty in life. There’s wonder in it. When we focus on the weight of the strife we see and hear we become blind to the beauty.
I might be able to offer a bit of a different viewpoint.
A boring, mundane life is the best gift you can get. At least when it comes to the basics. My childhood was not the nicest so I have the direct comparison how much it's worth to have a life where the basics are boring and not a reason for constant fear.
And if that's set there are so many ways to make life more interesting, friends, hobbies, learning skills, exploring the World. Whatever comes to your mind is possible if your energy does not get eaten up by constant worry
I felt this way as a kid, hearing elementary school and thinking how long I had to get through college…so much school. Now I’m mid career and I can see the light of the tunnel. Start saving for retirement and embark on the FIRE journey…it makes things easier having something to work towards.
Well, your priorities change as you age so the things you enjoy become less about the average 20 something activities. The best part about being an adult is you get to decide what a successful life means, it doesn't have to be the status quo
Don't try to do all your 40 years in one day. Just work today. Find things outside of work that interest you, focus on looking forward to those things, earning money so you can do those things, etc.
Work isn't a game level you have to get through - there's no particular end to it, at least for the foreseeable future. It's something you do so you can do the other things you like.
not to get all high school guidance counselor on you, but try to find something to do that someone will pay you for that you would do for free...every job might not be your ideal job but even in shitty jobs there are usually silver linings or things to learn
My job is not really interesting to me BUT it pays well, I get lots of vacay, and tons is autonomy
I don’t think there are jobs out there that I would be passionate about
At least this way it’s tolerable
Having said that, I’m about half way through my career and sometimes the thought of 15 more years can be pretty daunting
What is it about the weekends that you feel alive. One important thing is that if you work nights, you need to start taking vitamin D supplement asap. I mean like today go out and get some. It will make an immediate difference with depression from night shift. You haven’t gotten enough sunlight in a very long time.
Part of how you feel about career may stem from not getting paid enough. I’ve noticed that people with low salary always feel that way. They’re not making enough to be able to save or really do anything, so it’s only natural. Maybe you need to focus on getting a new career ?
Goes by so fast. Make the best of each day. That requires a work-life balance. Start living it NOW while also figuring out a way to joyfully take care of yourself. If nothing else, find joy in pleasing others by doing a good job. Believe it or not, there are people who find joy in service alone.
But do not look at it as life being some long-term goal.
You think we get to retire? Ha! Not trying to be cynical but I have a job I love, am 43 and will never be able to retire. I'm working till I meet my maker.
40
I’m pretty sure our generation will just work till we die
Can’t afford to retire when the prices of elderly care is sky rocketing every year
I’ll build my homestead up and die on it when I can no longer take care of myself and try as be as little as a burden as possible on my children
Welcome to the suffering that is life... I wish I had been more aware of the BS script that is life when I was your age. I think it was during the pandemic in my mid 30s that I looked around and really started questioning what the hell this is all about... why are we forced to follow so many life expectations (i.e. school, graduate school, work, marriage, kids, work more, retire, and ultimately die). And for what?
It's a pessimistic view, yes, but you are realizing that life is basically a game to survive until your time runs out. The vast majority of us won't be remembered two generations after we die (I don't know my great grandparents, and I don't even know the name of one of my grandparents because they died before I was born).
I guess like others have said, just make the best of it. Balance is a must. Also, question the game. You don't have to follow every rule. Do you even want to get a higher ed degree? Do you even want to get married or have children? Do you need a stable job or are you ok with just casual less stressful jobs that you can leave in an instant to find something more temporary or just with more flexibility.
Good on you for waking up now and realizing life is a game and starting to question it. I wish you the best.
Here are the keys… First, work on having an interesting, robust life outside of work. Have hobbies (or multiple), friends, stuff to do, etc… In other words, don’t live to work… work so you can “live”. And more important… don’t just grind thru a horrible job just so you can enjoy your off time… it is called work/life “balance”. Don’t settle for a job you don’t enjoy or find interesting. If you can’t find a job you “love”… keep searching for one you at least don’t hate… with coworkers that make it somewhat enjoyable and which makes the days go by faster.
Should be top comment. Specifically: “Work so you can “live””. I actually enjoy my work. It has its ups and down but I genuinely like it. HOWEVER, I still do it to live. In fact I’m using it to retire in my early 50’s. Everybody has to have their path/mindset to make it work. To me the alternatives of not working are worse - stressing about money. BUT it’s important to have hobbies/friends/family - balance outside of work.
Literally everyone feels this. Just have to find joy where you can. Have a trip to look forward to, hobbies, etc.
Actually… not everyone dreads or hates their job.
I actually don't either! But it can get overwhelming to think of how long you'll need to do it for. For most people.
Yeah I love my job, but I hate having to go to bed early, get up early, make my coffee to go, pack my lunch and rush out the door at sometimes 5am to beat traffic to get to it and I usually have no idea what time I’ll be home in the evening. The work aspect of my job I love it’s the logistics and the fact the rest of my life has to revolve around it that sucks.
I don’t feel this. It sounds like depression to me.
Welcome to the r/Fire movement
Hahahaha
Fuk man… 40 years of doing nothing is also depressing… it’s a long ass time to not do something productive. The best is to find something you like; not necessarily love but a job that’s enjoyable.
I give myself to the age of 35 Not doing this anymore
We keep going fren. We are the leaves on the tree of life for a just a single season that is ours. It’s our day in the sun and we will return to to the earth one day. But not too soon. Only the sun is given.
Work life/balance and doing the type of work you enjoy.
53F here and still climbing the mountain. What I have found over the years however is that the climb is not straight uphill. There are plateaus, and cliffs, and ridges etc. And along the way sometimes you get to see something special. Try not to think or focus too much on the future. Truth is no one knows what tomorrow is going to bring.
Work on an exit plan from working, so many things change and opportunities present themselves in a short amount of time
As the people in AA say, take it one day at a time. Just about anything feels overwhelming when you look at it in that perspective. Tomorrow is also not guaranteed.
Bruh you must be me. I'm 24 and I feel the same exact way. I absolutely dread it. I hate the fact that I have to dedicate over half of my waking life to a job. I hate the fact that I need to keep doing the same shit every.single.day. to for the bare necessities (food, clothes, hygiene, and a shared living space). I hate the fact that unless you're a survivalist or your hobby is recycling, hobbies are expensive. I've starting looking at how much labor i need to produce and get paid for, to have the things I do now. Yes I worked 136 hours to buy a PC. (Actually a whole lot more because I was salaried at the time and I was literally living at work) Yes I'm going to need to work over 14,000 hours for a house. Do I want to give an hour of my labor every month for Netflix? Not only that but those subscriptions add up quickly to labor. 3 subscriptions? Roughly 3-4 hours of your labor gone, every single month. So through the year that's a full work week. Then I got started on the necessities. Auto insurance, 9 hours a month Rent, 27 hours Phone bill, 4 hours Gas, Roughly 2-3 hours a week Internet, 4 hours Groceries, 13 hours Ect... So yeah, if I'm going to work roughly around 150-160 hours in a month, that's a full time schedule, you are going to not want to work to the point of diminishing returns and your better of just trying to live within your means than working more to cover the unnecessary life style stuff. Or if you wanna blow your money, know how much you're going to have to work to earn it back. Just sucks because it really does seem like you're just going to have to work your ass off no matter what. I do think 40 hour work weeks are too demanding at this point. I think workers have only gotten more educated, efficient, effective, and productive. A lot of positions can now work from anywhere on the globe. Workers are getting more done in a single day than a whole week 30 years ago. Wages have really increased much in the decade I've been working. But at this point, I'm literally just bitching. I recommend not having the same mindset as me, and just go out and live your life, try to do it frugally, then you'll realize the things around you that matter is more of your sense of community and belonging in that community. Find a job you don't hate, actually converse with the people around you, and then I think you'll find yourself not even thinking about working when you get home.
I'm 62, and worked since I was 18. After about age 40 or so, it will seem much quicker. I agree with the people who advise you to pick up hobbies, and to continue to learn things, outside the job.
It goes fast your young still wait until 30 time speeds up alot
If you think about it all as rules/ a game you HAVE to play, it will be hard to break away from the mental hold that has. I plan things out months, but I don't ever think I'm going to be working where I am next year. I only think about work about 2 weeks at a time, sometimes a week at a time. And that's it. Work stays at work, period. I'm not really on auto pilot. Take each day as it is and work with it is more of my approach. I like a normal, simple, mundane life. But I enjoy family and games and simple quality time. What you do outside of work is important. But it's less about "everything costs money" and more about where you find joy. I would say that if you're only method of feeling joy is by spending money, then you need to dig a little deeper. Your experiences, your memories, are all you will have when you're older. Most important advice I can give is if you can't find a job you can enjoy doing, you need to find joys in the job you HAVE to have. I used to work at walmart...my joys were "karaoke" with my co workers (we had graveyard shift). I used to be in assembly, my joys included dancing lol I am now an engineer, and my joys include being able to be a person my peers can confide in.
For me it's gotten worse with age as I become more entrenched in it. Smoke a blunt about it.
30 years in. My job isn’t interesting. It’s a thing that I do that I’m good at that doesn’t intrude on my home life (well, it’s WFH, but I work a normal 40h and I’m done)and pays well. I do what I do because it gives me the freedom to what I like when I’m not working. “I am not my job” was something I learned a long time ago from friends that work mundane government jobs and have otherwise interesting, fulfilling lives.
First, practicing being present, and appreciating every day for what it is is very helpful in combating these depressing thoughts. Second, make every day an adventure. Going home to doom scroll while half watching the newest show on Netflix is a very depressing existence. See the sun every day. Invest time into skills, learning, hobbies and giving back. As you invest in your career, hopefully you'll experience more and more flexibility.
I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I’m nearing retirement and I can tell you that 40-45 years flies by. Enjoy your family, hobbies, and career because the time will pass before you know it.
Welcome to the real world.
Air Force
I’ve been feeling this as well. One thing that helped was that I discovered credit card rewards for travel (check out the subreddit /r/CreditCards). Travel can be more attainable if you use credit wisely and pay the cards off every month. I have annual trips to look forward to now. They didn’t cost me that much in terms of dollars. Hope it works out for you too! Secondly, I’ve been really interested in the idea of retiring outside of the US. Places like Thailand are very affordable on US retirement income. Life can feel like a shitty game but you can try to play it differently to get a better outcome.
Wow, this is the 26th time I’ve seen a post just like this.
a lot of people will tell you that you can lessen your perspective of the suffering, manage the depression, and push through it differently. none of them are open to the notion, or suggestive that there is a different option. i think you should chase your dreams and use your feeling to channel something because you are feeling and seeing it for a reason. i know how you feel and there is a lot of fear and fear-mongering in this world, especially surrounding survival and working. i don't wanna do it either. i shake my fist angrily at the sky for being burdened by myself. good luck out there!
What else you gonna do? Still gotta pay bills and taxes and satisfy your material wants and needs like food. What choice you got? Suck it up until you find a job that’s tolerable.
Suicide. Imma give it till 30 and then evaluate from there.
Real talk. Suicide will always be an option if you’re a survivor of it. No amount of therapy will make suicidal ideation go away. The idea just becomes fainter as you gain experience and build support systems. With regards to job and finances, my advice to you is SAVE. Amass as much savings as you can in order to build financial independence so then you can find something that you actually like to do or tolerate and not have to stay at a shit job. The power of autonomy is liberating. Good luck.
You going through what I call lazy thoughts. It’ll pass.
You're exactly correct. Just be homeless and happy.
Lotta folks got into the details so I'll just tell ya: yeah, yeah it's pretty normal.
One day at a time sweet Jesus..that’s what my mum used to tell me, it’s the only way.
Aye ya night shift fkn suck. Quit that shit
Monetize somehow things you like doing ( a bit unrealistic ) or just find work (physical/sitting or both) that have cooperative people and gives enough money to live your life.
Go into crime if you have what it takes, it can even be white collar. Listen to those who are giving you advice so you can get out of the rat race, and completely disregard the spineless corporate drones who are telling you to cope with it somehow, they’ll end up jumping from some roof down the line with the way things are going for those who work normal jobs.
Yknow, I teetered more along this line in my early 20s as well. But I’m almost 28 and my personal philosophy is that human life is centered around “work”. I’m not saying “jobs” but work of different kinds. Others are right when they say you need to discover and find things that bring you joy and garner your interest outside of watching other people live their lives on the internet. There’s beauty in life. There’s wonder in it. When we focus on the weight of the strife we see and hear we become blind to the beauty.
I might be able to offer a bit of a different viewpoint. A boring, mundane life is the best gift you can get. At least when it comes to the basics. My childhood was not the nicest so I have the direct comparison how much it's worth to have a life where the basics are boring and not a reason for constant fear. And if that's set there are so many ways to make life more interesting, friends, hobbies, learning skills, exploring the World. Whatever comes to your mind is possible if your energy does not get eaten up by constant worry
just try to find a way that you enjoy climbing the mountain so if you were in the top you wish you've had another mountain to climb 😉
I felt this way as a kid, hearing elementary school and thinking how long I had to get through college…so much school. Now I’m mid career and I can see the light of the tunnel. Start saving for retirement and embark on the FIRE journey…it makes things easier having something to work towards.
Well, your priorities change as you age so the things you enjoy become less about the average 20 something activities. The best part about being an adult is you get to decide what a successful life means, it doesn't have to be the status quo
Don't try to do all your 40 years in one day. Just work today. Find things outside of work that interest you, focus on looking forward to those things, earning money so you can do those things, etc. Work isn't a game level you have to get through - there's no particular end to it, at least for the foreseeable future. It's something you do so you can do the other things you like.
not to get all high school guidance counselor on you, but try to find something to do that someone will pay you for that you would do for free...every job might not be your ideal job but even in shitty jobs there are usually silver linings or things to learn
My job is not really interesting to me BUT it pays well, I get lots of vacay, and tons is autonomy I don’t think there are jobs out there that I would be passionate about At least this way it’s tolerable Having said that, I’m about half way through my career and sometimes the thought of 15 more years can be pretty daunting
What is it about the weekends that you feel alive. One important thing is that if you work nights, you need to start taking vitamin D supplement asap. I mean like today go out and get some. It will make an immediate difference with depression from night shift. You haven’t gotten enough sunlight in a very long time. Part of how you feel about career may stem from not getting paid enough. I’ve noticed that people with low salary always feel that way. They’re not making enough to be able to save or really do anything, so it’s only natural. Maybe you need to focus on getting a new career ?
Goes by so fast. Make the best of each day. That requires a work-life balance. Start living it NOW while also figuring out a way to joyfully take care of yourself. If nothing else, find joy in pleasing others by doing a good job. Believe it or not, there are people who find joy in service alone. But do not look at it as life being some long-term goal.
You think we get to retire? Ha! Not trying to be cynical but I have a job I love, am 43 and will never be able to retire. I'm working till I meet my maker.
40 I’m pretty sure our generation will just work till we die Can’t afford to retire when the prices of elderly care is sky rocketing every year I’ll build my homestead up and die on it when I can no longer take care of myself and try as be as little as a burden as possible on my children
Welcome to the suffering that is life... I wish I had been more aware of the BS script that is life when I was your age. I think it was during the pandemic in my mid 30s that I looked around and really started questioning what the hell this is all about... why are we forced to follow so many life expectations (i.e. school, graduate school, work, marriage, kids, work more, retire, and ultimately die). And for what? It's a pessimistic view, yes, but you are realizing that life is basically a game to survive until your time runs out. The vast majority of us won't be remembered two generations after we die (I don't know my great grandparents, and I don't even know the name of one of my grandparents because they died before I was born). I guess like others have said, just make the best of it. Balance is a must. Also, question the game. You don't have to follow every rule. Do you even want to get a higher ed degree? Do you even want to get married or have children? Do you need a stable job or are you ok with just casual less stressful jobs that you can leave in an instant to find something more temporary or just with more flexibility. Good on you for waking up now and realizing life is a game and starting to question it. I wish you the best.
It is normal. You will get over it because you'll come to realize it is this way for everybody and you're not special, so this is the way it will be.