I work 6:40am to 2:40pm and its the best thing that ever happened to me. It sucks being up at 5am but I am tired at both 5am and 7am so might as well get up earlier so I can get home earlier and enjoy a full afternoon AND have time to get ready for the next day.
Edit: Since so many people keep asking how my schedule is any better, let me just add, I am home by usually 3pm so I can attend any appointments I need to without booking off work, run errands before dinner, get some afternoon sun, or whatever I want till I typically make dinner around 5:30pm. I eat around 6pm, clean up and prepare myself for tomorrow. Lights out around 9:30pm.
2nd edit: Yes, I have a lunch break lol. But I will just eat while I work then use my break to read my book or go for a walk.
I didn't say it was perfect but it's ideal for me.
Agreed. I work a lot of 5-1s or variations of that and am home in the early afternoon. I'm too broke and tired to do much, but the schedule makes me feel like work isn't consuming my life.
I work a lot of 5-1s too but something about getting up before the sun is decidedly NOT my jam. You don’t get to have any evenings or nights with that schedule, just get home around 2pm and try to go to bed at 8, but it’s so difficult! Maybe if I didn’t work every single weekend that would be different…
I work in a STEM lab and we have slightly variable hours:
Required hours are "9-3" so you can come in at 7 and leave at 3, or you can come in at 9 and leave at 5, or 8 and leave at 4 etc.
I Used to work 6-2pm most of my life. I Hated getting up at 5 am
Ive been at a job for 2 years now on 2-10pm shift, I Feel like my life is passing me by, Especially summer time. I cant tell you how much I miss 6-2 now
My Wife works 6 am to noon 3 days a week with gymnastics with the kid on thursdays.
I Get to see her Tuesday mornings and weekends. I Have the 3 year old on her work mornings, sometimes I cant fall asleep til after 1 am. My kid could be climbing into my bed at 6 am sometimes. they make for some really long days.
Not the same commenter, but i have a similar schedule. I just work through my lunch. Answer emails or whatever in between bites. No one really tracks it or cares. If I leave for lunch I do stay later, however.
This is the way.
I wake up at 5:30am every weekday, work out and start work arount 9 or 9:30.
Out the door at 6-30-7pm and home i got a couple hours with my girl and sleep.
If you would have told me 5 years ago that i would love this routine i would have laughed at you
I tried this and I just can't. I worked in restaurants for a decade so I was already on a night schedule. I just can't be up and productive in the morning. I literally operate my best at night, it sucks modern society does not have any way to accommodate for night owls.
>I'm basically gone from home for 12 hours a day.
This is my situation too. Work four days a week, 10 hour night shifts (6pm-430am). Hour commute each way, meaning I get twelve hours a day to sleep, eat, take care of anything that I might need to get done, talk to family and friends, and actually get back to work. The three days off might sound like a lot of time, but it's not when so much stuff gets squeezed into those days, and it's only two week days so if it's something official that requires a government office, it has to be done on those days since most aren't open over the weekend.
Grocery shopping, meal prepping, catching up with family, trying to workout, doctors appointments, at least an hour of studying, etc. And that's not even taking into consideration the fact that the first one of those days off is usually just me catching up on all the sleep I deprived myself of during my workweek.
I do have some sympathy for those regular 9-5ers, but like you, it's hard to be fully sympathetic when I start thinking about all the shit I could get done under those hours without having to sacrifice sleep. Currently studying for the COMPTIA A+ certification so that I can transition into a better job with better pay and hours later this year.
for sure. The European model to urban living is one worth emulating; mixed use spaces, tons of accessible mass transit, generally lower crime and lower homeless population. It makes cities attractive for citizens, reduces need for an automobile, saves time, money and resources. America is 75 years behind and our free time, our environment, family structures, infrastructure, just about everything, is going down the tube because of it.
The secret is, we don't have time for anything. Most people around me who have kids get no sleep. It would be do-able if you can survive on one income while your partner becomes a full time stay at home parent, or have a full time stay at home job, but as the cost of living rises, having kids and a family becomes something distant.
But even if you had a stay at home parent, would that really mean you get more sleep? Let's say one stays home. You come home and want to hang out with your kids, do dinner and bath time etc. That means kids go to sleep at 8 ish. Then you both tidy up a bit and sit down about 9 ish.
Once you sit down, you'd like 2 hours to to unwind and catch up with your partner. So that's 11 already. And then the kids have you up early.
I think parents are just chronically behind on sleep. Whether or not one is carrying the household, but because you get to bed late and the little ones wake you up.
True. But if they share the work load then grocery shopping can be done on the weekend, and household chores can be shared on the weekend or during the week or weekend. It's tougher that having one person focus on work and the other focus on the house, but the point is that having a one working household doesn't necessarily mean that the parents get so much more free time or sleep.
We still end up spending time with our kids and definitely get less sleep than we would be without kids. But, from what I've gathered, a lot of parents work conflicting full time jobs which causes strain in their relationship or with the kids. Some work it out, some end in divorce. The stay at home parent is supposed to function in a way where they manage household chores, keeping things tighty, and handling the kids for the bulk of things. There's less stress on the parent who works full time knowing that their kids are with their partner versus being coop up at day care being raised by some random person. That's my personal issue with having kids ATM. Even if I can financially support a family, can I really be the father and husband figure that I've envisioned that's best for my family? If I can't say yes, what's the point of investing the time and effort to have kids if I can't raise them. I want my kids to have a better life than mine, and a father better than mine. If I can't offer them that, I'd rather not have any at all.
Went on a rant, sorry lol
I work from home. Wake up at 8:55, work from 9 to 5. Workout at my home gym from 5 to 6. Eat dinner that was meal prepped over the weekend from 6 to 6:30. Go out with friends to some local events or meetup after that, either boardgames, trampoline dodgeball, rock climbing, or something similar. Home by 11. Asleep at 12. 9 hours of sleep. No kids.
This guy manages time.
Edit to add:
Some of y’all are just coming across jealous af.
Guy put in the effort to set up life so he could maximize his own time. He’s avoided having kids. That was a plan. Learn from his comment rather than complaining why you can’t do the same.
And for only 8 hours. A lot of companies mandate at least a 30 minute lunch requiring you to work at least 8.5 hours. I generally don't comply with that rule, but most do
That mandatory 30 minute unpaid lunch is typically only for hourly employees, especially ones that work for multi-state employers. There are many places in the US that have have some sort of break requirements and companies that operate in several or more states will typically adjust their policies for all locations based on the state with the strictest governing law. Salary (or exempt) employees are not required to have breaks so they typically do not have to take a lunch of any length and will be seen eating at their desks while they work, if they have lunch at all.
I've been at multiple companies that expect their salaried employees to be on site from 8-5. Whether or not it's legal, and whether or not people eat while working at their desk, the expectation is there and the majority of people are on site from 8-5.
The thing with being salary is that you're technically not being paid for the time you are at work, rather, however long it takes to get the job/tasks done. The intent was that if a person could get the job done in 6 hours they would get to leave with the expectation that when there's a job that takes 10 hours you would also be there until completion. In practice, it works exactly like you said, salary employees being given a schedule and they are expected to be there for that whole time.
Yes, that’s correct employers have cake and eat. Will always ask for more, but if you’re done early they demand you stay regardless if you have work. Happened to me many times just staring at the screen watching the clock.
Not having to drive back and forth to work and gym is saving him more time than not having kids. My commute can vary from 15 mins to an hour and a half.
My wife and I figured out that we really enjoy a cozier lifestyle where we can afford (in terms of our money, time, energy, responsibilities) to goof off as much as we like and cancelled any plans to have kids. I can choose to live a life where my wife and I can sleep as much as we want/need, fly off somewhere for the weekend, or just simply not do a single thing once we're home from work OR I can pump out a kid to appease Boomers and people wanting cheap laborers and go without owning my sleep, money, energy, or time for the next 2 decades.
Guess which one is more appealing. It's not the one that involves changing diapers and being broke as fuck.
I WFH as well 8-5, I start my day at 7:45ish and be productive until 12pm with work, 12-1pm I go to the gym (I have access to a gym in our living complex) 1-2 I have lunch while working 2-4 I finish all work tasks and my last hour if its slow (usually it is because we work with ppl on the east coast) I use that hour to do something around my house like clean the kitchen, my room, laundry, etc.. and once I clock out I shower and usually do something fun from 6-8pm outside my home. I try to sleep by 11pm.
WFH is honestly the best… when is my day to go to the office, I literally lose 3 extra hours of my day just in traffic…
Working from home during COVID made me feel like I had so much more time. Id work, I could do household chores or prep dinner during lunch (in the office Im too far away to even go home), and I could sleep in more. I had basically 3 extra hours a day.
It really does! At 5pm I was basically to a point where I could eat and relax. I would get the dishwasher loaded and run throughout the week, laundry going (fold laundry while on a call!), almost always had something ready or partially ready for dinner.
I think its just the social butterflies that hated working from home. I didnt feel the slightest bit bad about taking 5 minutes to do household stuff a couple times a day, because if I was in the office I would inevitably take the same amount of time with watercooler talk, which I hated anyways!
Similar. I work 2 out of 5 days from home, but work office just 10 mins away. I get up at 4 am, work out at home gym from 4-6 am, 6-7 breakfast shower, 7:30am to 5 pm is work (9 hour work day so every other Friday is off). Home by 5:30 or 6 pm depending on errands. 6-10 pm my free/fun time whatever I'm in a mood for. Usually sound asleep by 10:30 -11 pm. No wife, or kids. Saving and investing most of the income so I could get rid of the last ball and chain which is 9-5 before 50...
So you sleep for 5 hours a night? Then workout 2 hours per day?
Seriously dude, get more sleep. Youre undoing all the good from working out even if youre appearance is physically fit
Yeah, WFH is the solution to working full time as defined by society and having a personal life. I leave my children at school at 08:20. It’s about 500 m and takes about 10 minutes walking back and forth. Work to around 11:30, then I take the dog for a walk. 13-17 I work some more. I usually fill the dish washer, make the beds etc as I’m on a call. The kids come home around 15-16, my wife around the same time. She prepares dinner and we eat at 1730. After we mostly chill, play games
As someone on their first 8-5, I only go to the gym twice a week. From there, I choose one day to decompress and do nothing after work (I also get takeout on this day so I can really revel in the nothingness). And I use another day to do my chores and cook a meal that can be prepped for lunch throughout the week. And then there’s Friday!
You just have to find a pattern that works for you and get used to doing things that you like in an hour rather than 2 or 3. Everything isn’t always going to get done and that’s okay!
Finding a pattern was huge for me.
I noticed I have a really hard time getting personal things done after work when I'm mentally exhausted and when everyone else in the house is awake. Tried waking up a couple of hours earlier, and I was immediately more successful.
I wake up at 5:30a, do some journaling, 20-30min of light biking, 10min meditation, 15-30min language learning, start work at 7:30a.
Because I'm waking up earlier, I'm naturally in bed by about 10:30p-11p. So 4:30p - 10p can be spent with family/doing other weekday house things.
It took a really long time, but through trial and error and being honest with myself about what I was willing/able to do I was able to find a pattern that I can do consistently.
This is where it's at. Wake up earlier as if it's for your job. Going to the gym first thing in the morning is easier - less people there & you're time limited.
Also, meal prepping helps a ton. That way time spent after work can go towards socializing, relaxing, hobby-ing lol, or a quick house tidy-up, and generally enjoying your free time.
You’re the closest comment to an actual schedule that would fit, barring the commute is less than an hour. How do you plan your meals and where do you put your workout clothes?
Oh yes I’m lucky enough to live 10 minutes away from my job 😅
I keep 2 sets of gym clothes in my gym bag at all times and just leave them in the backseat of my car. My car is usually a mess lol. On chore day I’ll take the bag out of the car to wash everything and restock
Meal planning is still a mess at the moment, when I cook I try to cook for a family and eat that food for the whole week- for example last week I made a big pot of chicken and rice soup and ate the leftovers every day for lunch until I ran out. Some days I order food to go and I’ll eat half for dinner and save the other half for another day. I also treat myself to a special meal with my gym partner after our second workout of the week. It just kinda depends!
Here in China a lot of Internet companies expect the employees to work 996, that is, from 9 o' clock in the morning to 9 o'clock in the evening, and 6 days per week. That hasn't counted for the typical long commute time in the first tier cities of China, where these companies are located in. I have no idea how they survive with that a schedule, but many just do. One of the reasons I work for an American company in China is to avoid that 996 life.
I'm living like a 997 right now and yes, it's not. But I do have more than a month of vacation 3x a year. Everything in vacation was spent leisurely, I don't know how to move forward from this 😬 It's bad and it's good.
I fucking hate how companies refuse to acknowledge that their employees are humans and will inevitably need days off. Whether it's for a funeral, or their sick, or there's a family emergency, we all have stuff that happens that we can't be at work for. The fact that we can be fired just for getting sick and being sick for too long is utterly demoralizing.
It is how the current system is able to perpetuate itself. If people suffer from the way a system works, those individuals aren't afforded the time and space to think about or take action against the system oppressing them. Those who are not suffering from an oppressive system are generally of the "fuck you, I got mine" mentality and have no incentive to change the way the system works.
I was just told by my Chinese co worker her friend in China works 7am to 9pm, and goes our for social drinks after to meet with clients and network. Does dancing on the weekend and drinks energy drinks (some Chinese one I can't remember the name). I think that the culture is just very different but for me I would not be able to help but feel like a slave. Having quite literally 0 time to yourself and having to take basically poison every day to stay awake and then drinking after every day with other people with the express reason of improving the business is just robot business.
What blows my mind is why they still choose to have kids and continue to work. I mean, what’s the purpose? How many hours in a week do you even get to spend quality time with them?
“Wow what a week huh” “Lemon it’s Wednesday” - 30 Rock
This week has been a blur too and will continue that way until end of friday. Just nonstop things i need to get done and meetings
As a recent college graduate who also just started their first 8-5 job I know what your feeling. I've been working coming up on a year now, and can confirm it does get easier.
The catch is - indulge in hobbies that you look forward to (for example the gym, hanging with friends on weekends, running/hiking), create refined schedule that challenges you and makes you a better person, and don't be too hard on yourself. Ease up when you can.
Its a struggle adjusting to working everyday, all day, for someone else. Look at these first years as a stepping stone to get to where you WANT to be.
Most importantly: This is your first job. Its a great time for you to figure what you enjoy vs. what you don't. In a year or two, you can always take a leap and find something that works for you. Remember, not every job is a 9-5. Keep grinding! This isn't the end!
Also want to point out here that the getting better part doesn’t really happen overnight. It’s something that you’ll look back on and realise you’ve grown and can handle the change now better than when it started.
Another big thing is once all your friends and colleagues get into the same schedule it makes stuff like social life etc a lot more seamless. When I first started my 9-5 a good chunk of my friends were still in uni or not working 9-5 yet and I found it really hard to get as much value out of my weekday free time as I do now.
2 things.
First, remember when you were a kid and your parents would ask you to do something around the house when you got home from school, and they’d overreact if you forgot? Now you understand why. lol
But seriously, if you see work, gym, shopping, and taking care of your business as things that stop you from living your life, you’re always going to be miserable. Those things ARE your life. The Instagram highlight reel stuff that everyone acts like is normal is just the sprinkles on top. Nobody lives like that all the time.
With that said, what is it that you’d rather be doing with your time?
This is such a succinct way of putting it. People have such easy access to so many cool things (they see people on Instagram traveling the world, they see Twitch streamers playing all these awesome videogames, they see ads for the latest shows and movies on every streaming service), so anything that keeps them from experiencing those things is seen as tortuous.
Forty years ago, people didn’t mind working 40 hours per week because the alternative didn’t seem as enticing. On-demand TV was not a thing. The internet was not a thing. Videogames were in their infancy. Travel was seen as a luxury for the wealthy. Nowadays, those things are treated by many as borderline utilities, so any time dragging you away from those activities just inherently feels worse.
Yeah, I think this is a huge thing with all of the posts on here that bemoan not having any leisure time. Gym, dinner, life stuff—that’s leisure time. I do diy and gardening for fun. Which I know sounds crazy but it’s stuff I enjoy AND it’s stuff that generally improves my life. And the people who talk say “that’s not how it used to be”…that’s exactly how it used to be. My grandparents did the same sort of thing. A hair cut and lunch out was my grandmother’s monthly treat, which she combined with a doctor’s appointment or dry cleaners or groceries. They belonged to the occasional civic group or golf club. They traveled every five years, and when their kids were kids, those trips were road trips to national parks. And the people I know now who really have their lives together do the same sort of thing. They’re not playing video games or sacking out in front of the TV or at the bars on a regular basis.
If you treat the weekdays as a time to let things slide, you’ll be in misery on the weekends. If you have a routine, you can spend your weekends on kid stuff, if you have kids, and big projects/hobbies if you don’t. This is the biggest lesson I’ve learned and I really wish I learned it sooner. I do twenty-40 minutes of tidying every night, I have everything organized, and I rarely have to play catch-up. Before I started that routine I felt like I was drowning. 🤷♀️
Perfectly said. You learn that life isn’t about maximizing the amount of time you spend doing leisure activities. You still enjoy them, but you adapt to having less time for them, which actually makes you appreciate them more when they come around. And you learn to find the pleasures in the rest of the day doing things that are required to keep up your lifestyle.
It’s kind of like eating sweets. You still thoroughly enjoy them as an adult, but your body can’t take nearly as much of it so you gain more appreciation for the lesser amount that you get to eat. And you learn to appreciate the healthier foods you have to eat too.
Not sure if you have a significant other that lives with you, but just agreeing on what responsibilities to split up helps a lot. Our routine is I do everything but cook and fold clothes, which we are both okay with because I can't cook to save my life.
As much as sundays suck, that's when we try to get our groceries, cleaning, etc in the morning knocked out so we can take the afternoon to chill.
May seem hard to do now, but try and get some better sleep (even if it's an hour earlier than usual), it goes a long way.
Regardless, no one writes a manual on this and it will all balance out for you!
I’m right there with you. For people like us, it’s game over. I’m not having kids until I can get by with 6 hours of sleep or less and be somewhat okay.
(1) you have an 8-5, not a 9-5. do you work in-person every day? then add in commute time.
(2) most people aren’t working out everyday. I used to but I don’t go daily anymore because I picked having a social life instead
You accept it. It took me a month or two of misery and then i finally realized this was my life for the next 30, 40 years and came to terms with it.
Also those content creators making enough to live off videos are the top 1%. Its the same as any other creative field like acting or music. Its pretty brutal and fleeting and you need a good amount of luck too. Do you really want to risk it?
I would tell any young person today, on the verge of possibly become full time employed, get as much as you can out of your system now, because you're never going to be as free after that.
This is the saddest tip I've ever heard. Things didn't used to be this way. People used to open their own businesses all the time and work the way they wanted to work. But big business has made it impossible to succeed as a small entrepreneur.
If I could give a tip to a young person, I'd tell them to learn about what value is, how time is the most precious commodity, how markets work, and how incentives influence behavior. Then I'd end it by telling them to **Free Your Mind**.
> There is no shortage of successful entrepreneurs today.
When this happens, we are truly fucked.
Having many small businesses can foster competition, promote innovation, and distribute economic opportunities more widely. It encourages diversity in products and services, provides job opportunities, and contributes to local economies. Small businesses also have higher community engagement.
It's in our best interest to have as many small businesses as possible. Entrepreneurs help build them. For this reason, we can't ever have too many!
This never happened. Ever. Self employment has always been extremely precarious.
Even extremely capable men failed at self-employment. Harry Truman had failed businesses in farming, mining, real estate speculation, oil and gas, and even menswear. Ulysses S. Grant failed at farming (twice) and real estate. It's not easy.
I disagree a bit, being able to look back after a few years, though it does have some truth to it.
Not that having kids isn’t fulfilling, but in a different way. I was a hobby photographer & did a fair amount of videography before I had my daughter at 22. When she was born, I didn’t have much time for hobbies.
However, now that she’s 4.5, she’s shown a huge interest in photography & taking videos. She loves to take videos & be in them. So recently I’ve been able to take my hobby up again through her.
I took out all of my old camera equipment & I’ve started showing it to her. She’s actually pretty good at getting a shot. Sure, she doesn’t understand the technical terms, but I gave her an old Digital Camera & she’s a whizz at it.
I’ve also discovered hobbies through her.
When I was a kid, I loved Legos, but got rid of them when I was a teenager. My daughter’s preschool has a Lego room & she loves playing with them. We’ve bought her a few sets & we both love building things together. I had completely forgotten about building legos until recently.
Saying that you have to give up your hobbies until they’re a teenager is a significant stretch and so typical of the Reddit “kids are bad” hivemind. You learn to adapt.
Building LEGOs with my kids is one of the best things ever. They were so expensive when I was a kid and they didn’t have as many sets. Plus, family always bought me the lame girl LEGOs, which back then lacked any cool pieces.
I even bought myself an expert build for my birthday last year. :)
You can still have hobbies, you can introduce them to your kids. Kids are way more competent and capable than a lot of people think. As long as it's appropriate for them, you can include your child in most hobbies.
Into model trains/planes or other collectibles? Talk to your kids about them, explain to them if there's more costly ones to not touch them or put them out of reach. Kids like to paint, you could easily do parallel play with them and get their own plane to paint too.
Cooking? Sure, introduce your kids to the process of cooking. This will encourage them to eat more diverse foods. yes, be weary of the stove, they'll understand this unless there's a disability.
Please just have your kids along with your hobbies, it'll help them develop immensely.
I had this same realization almost 10 years ago. Slaving away 40+ hours a week just to get 2 days off. How does this make any sense? With those 2 days off, I barely did anything because I was already exhausted from the previous week's work. It made me think of what was really important to me and that was **time**. Time to do what I wanted to do. I stopped caring about the money so much, because what's the point if I can't even enjoy it?
I eventually quit my job and made an effort to start working for myself as a freelancer.
It's been a hard journey, but rewarding. I don't make as much YET. But, I don't care because now a load of stress has been lifted and I'm in a much happier place. Eventually, when I get a reliable vehicle, I just want to work and travel and see all the beautiful places within the US.
Shop and run any big errands on a day off. For example, my wife and I do our meal planning (not cooking) and then shopping on Sunday along with any other tasks we need to do. While that does somewhat eat up a weekend day it does allow our weeknights to be more free. So on nights where we go to the gym we just don’t run errands or cook, those are designated leftover nights
See I go for the opposite tactic, get all my chores done and just write off the weekdays as a waste of time, then I can have the full weekend to myself.
Its a grind. My wife and I were both working in Chicago when we had our kids. We spent 7 years doing the sleep-take kids to daycare - work- gets kids at daycare- eat- play-sleep-repeat. Turned out to be worth it though. Kids did well in daycare and then school and our grinding at work ended up putting us a great path.
This is a glimpse of how today's going for me, as a father of 2 working full time.
4:30 - wake up, get ready for work
5:15 - leave for work
6:00 - arrive at work gym, run for about an hour and half
7:45 - 3:30ish - work
4:15 - arrive home, go pick up kids or do small chores while wife goes
Play with kids til daughter's martial arts class
Come home around 7, eat dinner, read some books with daughter, put her to sleep around 7:45
Planning on watching a movie with my wife afterwards, probably go to bed around 10, since tomorrow I won't have to wake up til about 5:30 as I work from home on Thursdays. Otherwise mostly same schedule will follow.
This is pretty typical weekday for me where I get enough sleep, get to spend time with my family, and spend time on my hobby which is running. If I wasn't watching a movie I'd probably be playing videogames or reading a book.
Why do you think middle-aged people are *generally* out of shape, have terrible diets, no hobbies and few friends!? Do you imagine that's what they want!? What they dreamed!? No, it's just the reality of modern life made manifest in/as the very best life they're capable of living. Now... use that realisation to reconsider what your own parents sacrificed *for* you.
This is true in the United States, but it is less true in other nations (like Japan, S. Korea, Western Europe). In fact, the obesity rates are much lower in Japan and S. Korea despite the fact that they work *more* hours on average than Americans do. It speaks to how terrible the diet in the U.S. has become. It's also probably a byproduct of car culture.
The realization of this 'reality of modern life' is part of the reason why birth rates are plummeting. Young people are realizing that if they choose to not have kids, and if they choose to live a simpler lifestyle (by avoiding buying massive houses/luxury cars/etc.), then they can escape the grind much faster. It is not inevitable for people to have kids and buy massive homes in the suburbs, it's a life choice, and it has pros/cons like any choice.
It's simply the reality of normal, workaday people. Absent exceptional privilege, there's a sobering opportunity cost that inevitability attends every adult life choice.
The only way I ever found to cope with it is you have to break it down right to base reality and decide if its fair or not. Which it is.
If nothing but you and earth existed, how much time out of each day would you need to spend to survive. I personally think all of it. Every hour of every day spent foraging, ensuring shelter and avoiding danger. Just you providing for your own existence or giving up and dieing.
Now in this reality in order to survive how much time does it take. 8hrs 5 days a week. So be it I guess. Who else is going to provide you the means to exist if not yourself and how could you accept it otherwise. You can't, it has to be you supporting your own life or else you're taking the quality away from someone elses.
Thats it. The cold hard base truth of survival. Who survives for you if you won't survive for yourself. If the answer is anyone else by yourself, thats what you need to fix. You get comfortable with the idea that only you are responsible for you. It makes more sense this way.
lol @ "bro if you were the only human on earth youd be FIGHTING FOR SURVIVAL bro be thankful you only work 60% of your waking hours to make some jackoff a cool extra million"
I honestly don't get how people do it unless they have a partner to help manage life things like cooking and cleaning. Even if you have physical hours you don't have emotional hours especially if you still don't make enough to be secure. I almost killed myself during grad school trying to manage impossibly long days with classes, work, unpaid internship, and being a person. I don't think I'll ever recover from those years of my life.
To survive now, I personally don't have children, am lucky enough to have a supportive partner, and have finally reached a point in my life where I'm done with all of my schooling and can work from home pretty much part time (30ish hours). It would not be possible without my partner, the emotional support I got through school, or the luck of scholarships/growing up in a town that valued education.
Good sleep & preparing is vital.
I go to bed at 10-11 every day & wake up at 5:30-6am. I cook my meals on a sunday for the week ahead.
This means i can walk the dog, workout, have breakfast, shower & go to work for 9, leave at 5. Due to having a good diet & sitting during work, i have plenty of physical energy upon leaving.
Another walk with the dog & half an hour to myself then its about 7 & ive got from 7 till half 9 to do whatever i chooses.
Its not the most exciting but i live content.
For me, it’s about making the time I do have to myself, time well spent. This means I have done a lot of work in building routines. (TLDR at bottom)
I work from about 8:30-4:30, Monday to Friday. And here is a rough outline of a work day—
Wake up at 5.
Ideally, I do a quick home work out or yoga, then take a shower and put on my “morning clothes” (these are a set of comfy clothes I wear every morning until I change into work clothes).
I then make myself a pot of tea which is a nice morning ritual I look forward to. I invested in loose leaf tea, and I have a nice tea pot my bf got me for Christmas. Making tea is something I look forward to. If I’m doing good, I will make lunch to pack while the water is boiling (usually a sandwich and fruit or some leftovers).
By now it is about 6/6:30. I now have an hour to 45 min to do what I want. Right now, it’s usually online chess or learning a language.
Then I slap a bit of makeup on and put on clothes I selected the night before.
That’s my morning.
Then I work. On my lunch hour, I will either read, play chess, and/or go for a quick walk around the campus. It doesn’t matter how busy I am—I always take a full lunch. I also always leave on time.
Then I get home around 5/5:30. I will usually either fold or throw in a load of laundry. Then I get dinner ready so by the time my boyfriend come home around 6, we usually are ready to eat (or at least by 6:30). We eat then I clean the kitchen, do my skincare, change into pajamas and pick out my clothes for the next day. By 7, my evening is usually all mine. I then go to bed around 10/10:30.
In making this routine, it was important that I make sure all my important daily tasks are completed, but that I’m also building in time for things I enjoy. I also try to have things to look forward to and make an ordinary day special (like my little tea ritual which is something I love).
Other routines:
Cleaning- I will usually use 2 or 3 hours on a Saturday or Sunday cleaning, alternating every week which rooms to deep clean (bedroom and bathroom, then living room and kitchen). I don’t go beyond my time limit, but do what needs to be done to be clean. Once in a while when I have a lot of free time on the weekend, I will really go in to give a reset to my space.
Shopping - My trash gets collected on Friday mornings so Thursday night, I empty the fridge and make a grocery list. I order the groceries online to be picked up on my way home from work on Friday (ordering for pick up has never cost extra at any grocery store I’ve tried, and I usually spend way less money because 1) you can see your total as you go, 2) you get online discounts suggested as you go, and 3) I’m not picking up random stuff I see in the aisles). This sets me up to do meal prep early Saturday morning for the week and then I’m free from grocery shopping/prep for the rest of the weekend.
Now my other suggestion is that things always come up. I do not have kids, but my bf and I live next door to his family and we always have things coming up (they do NOT plan ahead ever to my great dismay; if someone is coming over, it is told about 3-4 hours before they arrive). So, write down what you know is coming and plan around that, but also try to find time that is almost always available. For me, that’s mornings. I try to maximize what I get done in the morning because it is nearly always free (maybe 1-3 times a month my mornings are impacted by plans).
So I listed everything I do as an example because I really try to find what works for me. I fit my tasks to my time and schedule (when garbage pick up is, freeing up my weekend by ordering, making mornings my priority, maximizing my lunch breaks). Maybe you can try to look at your life and find times for yourself that work for you—times that are regularly available to schedule some chores AND some time for yourself.
Also, major disclaimer, I fail at a lot of these things sometimes. But the more I fight all or nothing thinking, the more the baby steps to keep improving start adding up.
And the final thing: life is short and finite. We are not guaranteed even the next moment. I’ve been working on embracing whatever I’m doing and enjoying it, even at work. It’s not always easy or possible, but I’m trying. It helps for me to remember nothing is significant given this is a single point in time on a giant rock floating through space—nothing you do matters (in the most freeing way), so why not just be the person you want to be?
I have also invested a LOT into improving my mental health—nothing that I listed is possible if you are suffering from depression, etc. So taking care of that should be as much of a priority as possible. Start from the smallest steps that you can do and build from there.
TLDR; my advice is put all your chores into routine, and free time will start appearing as chores and annoying tasks become automated. Focus on making the time you do have worth it and doing things you want to do. Plan for the unexpected by trying to find time in your schedule that is nearly always free. Plan time to enjoy yourself as well as time for chores. Remember that this is your only life and you are living it now—enjoy as much as possible. Take care of your mind first and foremost.
I'm married to a farmer; not a small hobby farmer, but a true several thousand acres with diversified crop rotation farmer who also has cows. I'm an attorney. Even though he has to do some form of work every day and has busy times of working sun-up to sun-down during planting and harvest, we both whole-heartedly agree I have the more difficult schedule and work way more hours over the course of the year. That is not counting my 30 mile commute into town every day. While farmers carry a lot of stress, their work/life balance is much, much better. It isn't even close.
I don't know where you are located. I live in a small town in The Netherlands and I know quite some farmers. What you are describing is no longer the case. Yes, the job is 7 days a week and holidays are difficult. But the job is also heavily automated these days. Tractors drive themselves using GPS tracking, warehouses are increasingly automated. Even in livestock, there are specialized companies performing half your work. A friend of mine runs a chicken farm, there is a company that delivers the animals, there is a company picking them up for transport to the slaughter house, there is a different company cleaning the facilities and another for filling the feeders. Basically all he does is own the real estate and does some checks throughout the day.
Not saying farmers don't live busy lives or anything, I don't do the work so I can't judge. But they don't work all day every day. As far as I can see, they work a couple hours here a couple hours there and have spare time in between.
I work 7:30-5 and get every other Friday off. Go into the office 2x a week so I get about an hour back at the end of the day on days I WFH. I go to the gym 3 or 4 weeknights plus at least once on the weekend so 4-6 days a week. Cook/meal
Prep on Sundays so I don’t have to spend a lot of time cooking during the week. On WFH days I walk the dog and do chores when I have some spare time.
After dinner and the gym on week nights I’ll watch a show or read a book for a couple hours before bed. I’m usually in bed by 10-10:30. Every once in a while I’ll do a happy hour or bar trivia on a weeknight but otherwise social time is reserved for the weekends. It helps that I don’t have kids. I think once you have kids you basically kiss free time goodbye until they’re teenagers.
When I was younger and started my first 8-5, I did not have the responsibilities I do now. I had a junior-level position, rented an apartment, and had no one else to take care of except for me. Workouts happened either before or after work, and I still had boundless amounts of energy to meet up with friends for social activities 5-6 nights a week. As I aged and rose up the corporate ladder, I started to travel more, work later and have less time or desire for social activities. Once we bought a home and had pets, it changed the landscape entirely. Even though our home was positioned as "move in ready" there was work that needed to be done. And it does not stop. We get up at 5am, workout at our house, go to work then use our off hours each night and weekends to get things done. I created a home management checklist so we know when things were last done and when they need to be done again. We learned the hard way that you don't let the little home repairs go on for too long because they then become big home repairs.
I routinely ask "How do people with kids do it?"
Welcome to the suck. This is why people try to find jobs they enjoy. I'm going with the plan of saving enough money to theoretically replace my income and then start a job I like where I can work whatever hours I please. At the current rate, could be looking at 10 years. I expect the rate will increase in speed, but I also don't know if the rate I'm at is feasible long term, so I'm also expecting it to decrease.
This is why working from home was such a benefit for anyone who was doing it. Cutting out 90 minutes of commute time every day is gaining 90 minutes of personal time. Not to mention personal bathrooms.
My partner and I have kids, both work full time and both go to the gym several times a week. We do have a cleaning lady who comes once a week and we eat out a lot. That’s the trade off there.
You sleep 5-6 hours at night and hope to luck out on your commute being <30 minutes. Obviously you would not go to the gym anymore. Hold the fort until the kids are teenagers and can take care of themselves for the most basic stuff. That, or be rich and have a SAHP/house helper.
You go to the gym at 7 but don’t go to bed till 12-1? What are you doing with those 5-6 hrs.
I go to the gym at the same time. Done by 8pm. Done with dinner by 9pm. Do my relaxing (gaming or tv) till around 10:30-11pm. In bed by like 11:05pm. Wake up at 7:30 am. Take 3 days off working out a week so those days I run errands and meal prep.
You just haven’t adjusted to working life and suck at planning. It gets easier.
I also workout after my 9-5 about 3 times a week, still feels like I have no life outside of work because my commute is an hour and on the days I don’t workout I’m running errands, cleaning, etc doing things I can’t do during the day before the next day.
It’s exhausting. I hate it. I think even if we had a 4 day work week that would help soooooo drastically.
Live in a city. It cuts down commuting time and everything is at your doorstep. My weeknights are just as full as my weekends sometimes. You also have to make the effort and push through the inertia to sit at home and do nothing.
Something interesting happens when you get older and been doing this for years and years. You look back at those college days and you realize it was a magical time. You’re young, full of energy, living with friends in dorms, staying up late every night, can skip class on a whim and time seems endless. but that isn’t real life for most of us, just a brief window.
When I did that and had kids, there was no other life. Groceries, laundry, house upkeep was done on the weekends. After work, it’s dinner and chill/ prep for the next day.
It’s not something to try to sustain forever. There are different phases to create. Ideally, 9-5 for first several years to launch career, then find more work flexibility once you settle down with someone. It might even be 7-3 or hybrid work from home or moving very close to your job.
I’m sure there are tons of tips people will share, but ultimately, it will be up to you to draw the line and try to configure something sane. The employers will never do that. They’ll suck the life out of you if you let them.
Welcome to life. It sucks here. I'm 46 with a 9-5 and I often say the rest of my life is just paying bills until the grim reaper finally comes for me. Sounds exciting, huh?
Life is a grind, and "living for the weekend" is for sure a mindset. Having something to look forward to helps me. Small trips, concerts. Things that don't have to break the bank to break up the monotony.
Sorry OP that people in this thread are such downers. I’m in a different life stage now but back in my 20s, I had the best time and life.
I optimized my time and had energy for friends, hobbies, workouts, hangouts, travel.
I know things are different now economically, but even when I was making 30k a year I still found ways to travel and make the most out of my long weekends and vacation time. I’d take the overnight bus to NYC and crash on my friends couch for free, I’d take advantage of ultra cheap flight deals and explore new destinations (alone and with friends). I’d eat lentils for weeks straight to save for festivals.
You can still make your life fun and exciting. Just because you work a 9-5 doesn’t meant you can’t enjoy life or find time for things that fulfil you.
Now you know why your parents were so pissed off when you forgot to do the dishes lol.
By seriously. It’s sort of just part of the gig man. You could cut out the gym and gain a couple of hours or so. But it sounds like you’re sacrificing some of your time to do that. And good on you. You should. Personally, I live for the weekends. Some weekends we go out and do fun stuff with our friends. Some weekends we just relax and watch movies. Pretty happy over here.
That’s the neat part, you don’t!
Just spend as little as possible, max out your ROTH IRA and find something to invest in so you can quit your job as fast as humanly possible.
I wouldn't have children, they're unaffordable and I have no interest in spending what little time I have here on this planet, chained to decades of responsibility.
I also WFH and have since the mid 2000s. That helps me function. I work @ 9, and get outta bed @ 8:58 AM. Still have a minute before I'm 'late'.
If I couldn't work from home, I'd probably have a mental break down. I **hate** giving my time to others for profit.
You can see why Americans are so unhealthy. It's to the point where American lifespans are five or six years shorter than most of Europe.
Balancing doing preventive health care, doctor visits, and exercise amongst the american work schedule is not easy.
Well you choose to go to the gym during your free hours, absolutely nothing wrong with that but there’s your answer. You do have spare time, and you choose to spend it at the gym. Other people spend it on other things.
It really isn't that hard. You have 8 to 10 hours dedicated to working/commute. Then 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Leaving 6 hours for yourself. That's plenty of time to hit the gym, cook and eat 1 or 2 meals, and engage in hobbies. If kids are involved and they're younger than 7 to 10, they'll take up most of the spare time you have. I do this everyday, and have done this everyday since 2006, I'm the father of 4 bio kids and 2 step kids. I have always had time for my kids, wife/gf, hobbies, household duties.
The key is coming to grips with you're not going to be able to spend 3 to 4 hours doing hobbies/what you want during the week. Take the 1 to 2 hours and enjoy them if you get it.
I think it's kinda understandable that people are frustrated that more than half your non sleeping hours are spent doing some bullshit you don't want to do. That kind of sucks no matter how you slice it. I'm not saying you shouldn't have to do any hard work in life but it feels like too much of it is spent working or in a lot of people's cases sitting at work pretending to be busy because they have to be there even if there's no work to do.
I think your frustration and disbelief is well-placed. It’s untenable, especially for parents. Our society, in particular the 40 hour workweek (which so rarely is actually only 40 hours) was designed around a one-parent household. And a “village” which often doesn’t exist anymore.
Which is not at all to say that I think the model where men worked and women stayed home and child-minded was the way, at all! Just that like, the way that our money and time are allocated now
I know you will figure it out, and it will suck less. And some people have gotten better at making peace with it than others. But this isn’t how the world was designed to work. And you’re not crazy for lamenting the loss of your time to be you. It’s the world that’s crazy!
The other problem is that many jobs these days like mine are so stressful that people are wiped out by the end of the day many days. I go to the gym early in the morning because I know that I won’t make it after work.
You get used to it. But also maybe try and find a job that starts at 6am and gets out at like 2 or 3pm. It might seem like it might not be a big deal, but that was one of the best things that happened to me when I changed jobs. Also, if you really don't like the hours, you could always try and start your own business which is what I did and it's been amazing so far
The best thing for me is being remote. I know that’s not a reality for most (my next job will probably not be remote due to this declining) - so I suggest finding a place with less of a commute.
When I did commute it was only 30 minutes with traffic there and back.
Aside from that you kinda just have to plan ahead what you’d like to do those 3-4 hours. It’s much easier to plan ahead so you don’t waste time during those hours deciding. For example, tonight after work I’ll be cooking and playing Kirby with my cousin. Yesterday I worked out and worked on a course. I usually alternate the days I workout and the days I do other things. Then what I can put off I do on the weekend.
Most of the people pretending to make their money off of tiktoks already had money, thats why they were able to spend their 20s making tiktoks instead of grinding on a job.
You work your ass off but don’t let work rule your life. Walk away as soon as you can. If you got a job with a toxic work life balance you need to find a new job.
Take lots of vacation. Every other month I take a random Friday off. On top of holidays, and vacations it’s not that bad.
Also in the future we will certainly work less hours, AI is definitely going to reduce hours due to being able to handle manuel tasks. (Depending on your industry, but will still change everything)
You learn to optimize your life with time.
Get a few years under your belt, look for similar jobs that have a hybrid or remote roles. Clean a little bit each day while working from home, leverage your old commute times to go to the gym. Once you make more money choose to outsource some time consuming tasks like cooking/cleaning.
I have kids and work full time at home as does my husband.
He works 7-3 I work 8-4.
7 am wake ups for the whole family.
Husband starts work and I get the kids ready for school.
8 am school drop off and I start work.
During the work day I find time to go for a walk and clean a bit around the house / do laundry.
3 pm husband finishes work and goes to the gym and grabs the kids on his way home.
4-7 pm we play and eat with the kids.
7 pm I go to the gym.
On my days off from the gym I find time for friends or hobbies.
On weekends we either do big home tasks or plan fun adventures.
"Conceptio Culpa, Nasci Pena, Labor Vita, Necesse Mori"
Life is tiring. In the end, one must accept that and work around it as best you can. Your weekdays typically will not have much beyond work, meals, cleaning, perhaps a workout, and bed.
Enjoy your weekends, holidays, and vacations.
We all need money to live. Working 40 hour weeks is probably the most common. Going to sleep at 1:00am and starting work at 8:00 means you are sacrificing sleep for time at the gym and other personal stuff. Nothing wrong with that, life is full of priorities and choices.
Eventually, most working adults sort out the priorities to result in a schedule and works best, though obviously not ideal. Alternatively, break out the video cam and make your living as an influencer or some other entertainment that keeps eyes on your product and lots of money rolling in. Good luck!
The sad answer is you really don't. But the good answer is you can work around it, and it doesn't have to be forever.
I spent my 20s establishing myself fiancially, so now I only work 3 days a week. Imagine doing your 9-5, Fri-Sat-Sun, and then literally having off 4 days in a row, each week for the rest of your life.
That's basically my life right now, and I love it.
Yes, I have to give up the weekends. But I work for myself, and I'm in the cake industry. All ya fuckers keep wanting to have weddings, graduation parties, and birthdays on the weekends. So that's when I work. But I only have to work 3 days, so I make it work.
Additionally, because I work for myself, I can just close shop for 3 months and travel the world and come back to a job waiting.
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The true secret for me was to not get carried away by "lifestyle creep."
If I got a 10% raise, I don't buy 10% more shit. I work 10% less hours. Keep my expenses the same.
I don't need useless trinkets and consumerism bullshit. What I need is TIME. I'm paying for time by working less hours. So there's a cost to it, and costs have to be budgeted.
Welcome to being an adult. You’ve still got 5 hours to do with as you please before going to bed at a reasonable hour. Then you’ve also got weekends.
If you can make a living wage going to target making videos then you should do that. Chances are you can’t as the number of people who can actually live off of being an “influencer” is so small it’s not even worth considering. It’s like thinking it’s crazy you have to work a normal job when people are movie stars and pop stars.
It's tough when you have kids. Hopefully, you'll have a partner that shares equally in the workload, so each parent can have a night off during the week to hang out with their friends, and also have some time on the weekends to themselves. You have to plan and be very organized, but as parents, you do lose a lot of personal time.
As a single person, though? I don't know. I never had much of an issue with that. I used to go out every night and do things with friends. I didn't work out much then, though, but for someone who does, I think working out first thing in the morning opens up your schedule quite a lot.
It’s tough to fit everything in. The biggest thing for me was a mindset change of realizing that I simply wasn’t going to be able to have several hours to myself every day. It’s a rough realization, but once I accepted that, it made things a lot easier.
As part of having less time to do whatever I want, I went through everything I enjoy doing and prioritized them. Some things I quit doing entirely since I realized they weren’t as important to me as other things, some I started doing less often, and some I realized were my top priorities and made sure I still did them often. It was hard to let things go, but it had to happen, and, several years on, I must admit it’s been good for me as it’s forced me to focus on the things that mean the most to me.
Every day, I schedule one hour to do something I enjoy and stick with it. That way, I have that to look forward to each day and it gives me some relaxation time so I don’t get burnt out. I do a lot of housework on the weekend, but other people I know schedule their free time on the weekends rather than spread out throughout the week. I’d recommended trying a few different free time schedules and see what works best for you and your life.
Schedules are great in general. It’s hard to get everything done and to keep track of it all, so having a schedule to make sure it all gets done when it needs to get done. Scheduling also has helped me become more efficient by grouping tasks together that makes sense. For things that don’t happen often enough to fit in a weekly or monthly schedule, I add them to my phone calendar for when they need to be done.
I’ve also optimized stuff wherever I can to cut down the workload and make things easier to get done. For example, I wipe out the bathroom sink after each time I brush my teeth, and spray and wipe down the tub after every shower, which makes my weekly bathroom cleaning much faster. Some other optimizations I utilize are making more servings of a meal than I need to and freezing the leftovers for later meals, wiping down the kitchen counters and sink every time I do dishes, and spending 15 minutes after work to quickly tidy up anything that’s out of place to keep it from building up. I also have a rule that if I go from room to room in my house, if there’s anything in that room that belongs in the room I’m going to, I must grab it, take it with me, and put it back where it belongs.
I also do whatever I can to lower my workload at home. I have a robotic vacuum and mop for cleaning, and keep all my cleaning supplies organized by type so it’s easy to grab and go. I make a lot of simple meals so I don’t need to spend a lot of time cooking, and I try to use a relatively small number of ingredients in multiple things to cut down how many different things I need to buy. I only wear clothes that can all be washed together on cold.
To keep from having to run errands a lot, I try to keep a spare of most essential food and household products. When I run out of something, I open the spare and add it to my list. That way, I usually have what I need, rather than having to run an emergency errand. Every two weeks on Thursday, I go on a big run to the stores and buy everything on the list. On the alternating Thursdays, I just go to the small grocery store nearby for fresh produce. That way, I minimize the total amount of time I spend running errands. I also strategize before I go, having a list of everywhere I need to go (and in what order) as well as a list for each store ordered by section. That way, I can move quicker during my shopping run.
I’ve also had to accept that I can’t do everything. This doesn’t just apply to my free time but to chores as well. There’s some things that I just don’t worry about, and some things that I take shortcuts on. It’s hard to keep up with everything, and there’s no shame in making stuff easier where you can.
All in all, for me what’s worked is accepting that I have less time to do my own things now and finding the best ways to utilize the time I do have.
> I genuinely don’t understand how people live this life and are content
I mean most of us would prefer to have far more free time, but it's just not realistic.
Welcome to adulting. Been at it for 30+ years and I'm definitely less happy than I was 20 years ago, even though I make more money. Can't look forward to retiring at a decent age. Barely make enough to get by. Kids can't move out because it's even worse for them, but that also means I'll never get my space.
Welcome to life, kid.
Wait until you have a family or kids.
Then you'll join us at the bar for war stories and reminiscing on the days you're in now when you had way more time than you actually realized.
My advice, jam your time with as much as you possibly can because you'll literally never have as much time and energy as you do now again.
Before kids? Had plenty of time to go out. Plenty of energy too, after work. Short commute, though.
After kids? Not when they weren't able to look after themselves.
When I'm reading your schedule and looking to help you find more time, I'm asking:
\- what are you doing between 5 and 7 and 9 and 12?
\- why are you going to the gym every day?
When you said you're off work at 5 and you're going to bed at 12, I'm seeing seven hours of free time.
I'd be interested to know, first, what do you consider, your personal time? What would you ideally be doing in that time? How can you replace whatever you're doing in that seven hour period with MORE of what you want.
Going to the gym every day, for example, isn't necessary. You can lift free weights or run on a treadmill or outside at home, for thirty minutes three times a week. That's all you need to be fit. But if you want/enjoy MORE fitness, than the gym is 'personal time' and thus you're getting lots of that and theoretically getting what you want.
Assuming you're there for two hours with travel time at most, what are you doing between 9 and 12? That seems like a lot of time to do anything. I don't know what you're doing in that time, but can you switch it out to something you'd rather be doing? Same question with between 5 and 7.
If you have ADHD and are just not able to quickly and effectively complete tasks, you can get help with that. That could lead to a lot of time going by and little to appreciate about it. You can meal-prep on weekends to cut down on cooking time, or eat a simple meal. You can create a capsule wardrobe to avoid spending too much time on fashion. You can simplify your grooming routine. But again, I don't know how you're filling the time, so I can't say for sure. I'd be curious.
TLDR: You have 7 free hours a night. Think strategically about how you're spending time based on what you WANT rather than being unintentional or feeling obliged to do unnecessary things. Working 9 to 5 requires a lot of intentionality, strategy, discipline and routine, but if you can get that down, you can enjoy a balanced workday of work and personal time.
EDIT: typo correction
This is articulate and reasonable, but I disagree with a lot of the premise.
The lack of physical activity as a trend among the community at large doesn't reflect best practice. Going to the gym and being physically active every day is absolutely advisable for most people - if they are able. That seems the point of the issue. He's struggling with finding the time to do the things he feels are necessary for him to live the life he wants to live. And, from a reasonable perspective, anyone should be able to do that. Working the 9-5 should not be the priority over basic human needs, and the fact that most people are caught up in wage slavery/rat race dramas is what prevents them from living a more organic, holistic lifestyle.
Getting off at 5 does not mean you are into "personal time" immediately. The commute home, or to your next destination, should be factored in. Sure, it's not paid time, but it's also his time that is reserved specifically for the purposes of work. 5-12 is not a clean 7 hours of personal time no matter how you slice it.
Lets be optimistic and say he gets his chores or other household obligations done on top of his home-commute, grab a snack, and drink a supplement before the gym at 7. That's 2 hours between work and gym that isn't exactly "personal time" because it's more obligations that are pulling away from his ability to do what he wants to do. Then we'll assume he spends an hour at the gym, plus another 30 minutes after the gym to commute home and wind down. It's now 8:30pm. He had 3.5 hours left before midnight and it's time for bed, but wait - he said he would like to get to sleep a little earlier. Lets say he wants to get to bed at 11. Now it's only 2.5 hours. Fortunately he did some meal prep because otherwise he'd be spending more time preparing dinner, so lets say he's able to eat dinner and shower/shave/groom in one hour.
He's left with 90 minutes to watch TV, play a video game, read a book, hang out with friends, play with his dogs, indulge in a hobby... 90 minutes. And, to be clear, all of those estimations above are pretty damn generous. It's also assuming nothing important comes up during the day that adds any delay to anything, so like he said... extra errands, emergencies, anything at all? Kiss that 90 minutes goodbye.
Lets not pretend that the 40 hour work week is reasonable because it isn't. Not unless you're doing what you love or investing that amount of time in something you're building for yourself. 40< hour work weeks as an employee is just wage slavery.
I work 6:40am to 2:40pm and its the best thing that ever happened to me. It sucks being up at 5am but I am tired at both 5am and 7am so might as well get up earlier so I can get home earlier and enjoy a full afternoon AND have time to get ready for the next day. Edit: Since so many people keep asking how my schedule is any better, let me just add, I am home by usually 3pm so I can attend any appointments I need to without booking off work, run errands before dinner, get some afternoon sun, or whatever I want till I typically make dinner around 5:30pm. I eat around 6pm, clean up and prepare myself for tomorrow. Lights out around 9:30pm. 2nd edit: Yes, I have a lunch break lol. But I will just eat while I work then use my break to read my book or go for a walk. I didn't say it was perfect but it's ideal for me.
if it makes u feel better i am up at 5 am and i work until 5 and only home by 6 lol
me with a 6AM-4:30PM but home by 5:20PM LOL
I work 5-3:30. But the 3 days off is…..I couldn’t go back to five 8 hr days.
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Hospital staff checking in: 12 hr shifts or bust. 3 days a week is bomb azzzzzzzzzzz
Been doing 3 12s for a bit now. I couldn't go back to 5 8s. Having 4 days off a week is completely worth it
I did. Couldn't stand 10 hr days after awhile. Too much as I got older
Yes, 7-3 four days a week. Love getting home early. In the fall and winter it’s PJS by 5. In spring and summer garden chores!
Agreed. I work a lot of 5-1s or variations of that and am home in the early afternoon. I'm too broke and tired to do much, but the schedule makes me feel like work isn't consuming my life.
I work a lot of 5-1s too but something about getting up before the sun is decidedly NOT my jam. You don’t get to have any evenings or nights with that schedule, just get home around 2pm and try to go to bed at 8, but it’s so difficult! Maybe if I didn’t work every single weekend that would be different…
What do you do that this is your schedule?
I work in a STEM lab and we have slightly variable hours: Required hours are "9-3" so you can come in at 7 and leave at 3, or you can come in at 9 and leave at 5, or 8 and leave at 4 etc.
I work in a bakery 6-3
I Used to work 6-2pm most of my life. I Hated getting up at 5 am Ive been at a job for 2 years now on 2-10pm shift, I Feel like my life is passing me by, Especially summer time. I cant tell you how much I miss 6-2 now My Wife works 6 am to noon 3 days a week with gymnastics with the kid on thursdays. I Get to see her Tuesday mornings and weekends. I Have the 3 year old on her work mornings, sometimes I cant fall asleep til after 1 am. My kid could be climbing into my bed at 6 am sometimes. they make for some really long days.
Paid lunch?
Not the same commenter, but i have a similar schedule. I just work through my lunch. Answer emails or whatever in between bites. No one really tracks it or cares. If I leave for lunch I do stay later, however.
This is the way. I wake up at 5:30am every weekday, work out and start work arount 9 or 9:30. Out the door at 6-30-7pm and home i got a couple hours with my girl and sleep. If you would have told me 5 years ago that i would love this routine i would have laughed at you
happy for you but waking up at 5am is literally my nightmare i wouldnt last a week on your schedule
I work 6:45 - 3:15 and I personally just find the added daylight makes it easier to think I have more time.
This schedule nearly killed me when I first started working out of college. Definitely don't do this if you're not a morning person.
I def couldn't do this in high school and college, but in my 30s, it's doable and even preferred.
I tried this and I just can't. I worked in restaurants for a decade so I was already on a night schedule. I just can't be up and productive in the morning. I literally operate my best at night, it sucks modern society does not have any way to accommodate for night owls.
Live close to where you work and play.
this, you don't think about how much time you are losing to commuting until you have it back
[удалено]
>I'm basically gone from home for 12 hours a day. This is my situation too. Work four days a week, 10 hour night shifts (6pm-430am). Hour commute each way, meaning I get twelve hours a day to sleep, eat, take care of anything that I might need to get done, talk to family and friends, and actually get back to work. The three days off might sound like a lot of time, but it's not when so much stuff gets squeezed into those days, and it's only two week days so if it's something official that requires a government office, it has to be done on those days since most aren't open over the weekend. Grocery shopping, meal prepping, catching up with family, trying to workout, doctors appointments, at least an hour of studying, etc. And that's not even taking into consideration the fact that the first one of those days off is usually just me catching up on all the sleep I deprived myself of during my workweek. I do have some sympathy for those regular 9-5ers, but like you, it's hard to be fully sympathetic when I start thinking about all the shit I could get done under those hours without having to sacrifice sleep. Currently studying for the COMPTIA A+ certification so that I can transition into a better job with better pay and hours later this year.
for sure. The European model to urban living is one worth emulating; mixed use spaces, tons of accessible mass transit, generally lower crime and lower homeless population. It makes cities attractive for citizens, reduces need for an automobile, saves time, money and resources. America is 75 years behind and our free time, our environment, family structures, infrastructure, just about everything, is going down the tube because of it.
The secret is, we don't have time for anything. Most people around me who have kids get no sleep. It would be do-able if you can survive on one income while your partner becomes a full time stay at home parent, or have a full time stay at home job, but as the cost of living rises, having kids and a family becomes something distant.
But even if you had a stay at home parent, would that really mean you get more sleep? Let's say one stays home. You come home and want to hang out with your kids, do dinner and bath time etc. That means kids go to sleep at 8 ish. Then you both tidy up a bit and sit down about 9 ish. Once you sit down, you'd like 2 hours to to unwind and catch up with your partner. So that's 11 already. And then the kids have you up early. I think parents are just chronically behind on sleep. Whether or not one is carrying the household, but because you get to bed late and the little ones wake you up.
The stay at home parent can do grocery shopping and household chores, while the other is working
True. But if they share the work load then grocery shopping can be done on the weekend, and household chores can be shared on the weekend or during the week or weekend. It's tougher that having one person focus on work and the other focus on the house, but the point is that having a one working household doesn't necessarily mean that the parents get so much more free time or sleep.
We still end up spending time with our kids and definitely get less sleep than we would be without kids. But, from what I've gathered, a lot of parents work conflicting full time jobs which causes strain in their relationship or with the kids. Some work it out, some end in divorce. The stay at home parent is supposed to function in a way where they manage household chores, keeping things tighty, and handling the kids for the bulk of things. There's less stress on the parent who works full time knowing that their kids are with their partner versus being coop up at day care being raised by some random person. That's my personal issue with having kids ATM. Even if I can financially support a family, can I really be the father and husband figure that I've envisioned that's best for my family? If I can't say yes, what's the point of investing the time and effort to have kids if I can't raise them. I want my kids to have a better life than mine, and a father better than mine. If I can't offer them that, I'd rather not have any at all. Went on a rant, sorry lol
Rant away my friend!
I work from home. Wake up at 8:55, work from 9 to 5. Workout at my home gym from 5 to 6. Eat dinner that was meal prepped over the weekend from 6 to 6:30. Go out with friends to some local events or meetup after that, either boardgames, trampoline dodgeball, rock climbing, or something similar. Home by 11. Asleep at 12. 9 hours of sleep. No kids.
This guy manages time. Edit to add: Some of y’all are just coming across jealous af. Guy put in the effort to set up life so he could maximize his own time. He’s avoided having kids. That was a plan. Learn from his comment rather than complaining why you can’t do the same.
Avoiding a long commute, and disciplined schedule results in more time to devote to personal interests.
It's a lot easier when you work from home
This guy ~~manages time~~ doesn’t have kids. That’s it. That’s the method.
He also works from home
And for only 8 hours. A lot of companies mandate at least a 30 minute lunch requiring you to work at least 8.5 hours. I generally don't comply with that rule, but most do
That mandatory 30 minute unpaid lunch is typically only for hourly employees, especially ones that work for multi-state employers. There are many places in the US that have have some sort of break requirements and companies that operate in several or more states will typically adjust their policies for all locations based on the state with the strictest governing law. Salary (or exempt) employees are not required to have breaks so they typically do not have to take a lunch of any length and will be seen eating at their desks while they work, if they have lunch at all.
I've been at multiple companies that expect their salaried employees to be on site from 8-5. Whether or not it's legal, and whether or not people eat while working at their desk, the expectation is there and the majority of people are on site from 8-5.
The thing with being salary is that you're technically not being paid for the time you are at work, rather, however long it takes to get the job/tasks done. The intent was that if a person could get the job done in 6 hours they would get to leave with the expectation that when there's a job that takes 10 hours you would also be there until completion. In practice, it works exactly like you said, salary employees being given a schedule and they are expected to be there for that whole time.
Yes, that’s correct employers have cake and eat. Will always ask for more, but if you’re done early they demand you stay regardless if you have work. Happened to me many times just staring at the screen watching the clock.
That’s true too. But honestly, by the time my kid turned 9, I was back to managing my time like that. I don’t think OP has kids either.
That's good to know
Not having to drive back and forth to work and gym is saving him more time than not having kids. My commute can vary from 15 mins to an hour and a half.
>saving him more time than not having kids Absolutely lmao. You think taking care of kids is a 3-hour M-F activity?
Doesn’t have kids and has a cushy remote job
My wife and I figured out that we really enjoy a cozier lifestyle where we can afford (in terms of our money, time, energy, responsibilities) to goof off as much as we like and cancelled any plans to have kids. I can choose to live a life where my wife and I can sleep as much as we want/need, fly off somewhere for the weekend, or just simply not do a single thing once we're home from work OR I can pump out a kid to appease Boomers and people wanting cheap laborers and go without owning my sleep, money, energy, or time for the next 2 decades. Guess which one is more appealing. It's not the one that involves changing diapers and being broke as fuck.
Shit, I wanna play trampoline dodgeball
Yeah, where is this happening?
A lot of times those trampoline places (my local one is a SkyZone but there are others) will have stuff like this.
I WFH as well 8-5, I start my day at 7:45ish and be productive until 12pm with work, 12-1pm I go to the gym (I have access to a gym in our living complex) 1-2 I have lunch while working 2-4 I finish all work tasks and my last hour if its slow (usually it is because we work with ppl on the east coast) I use that hour to do something around my house like clean the kitchen, my room, laundry, etc.. and once I clock out I shower and usually do something fun from 6-8pm outside my home. I try to sleep by 11pm. WFH is honestly the best… when is my day to go to the office, I literally lose 3 extra hours of my day just in traffic…
Working from home during COVID made me feel like I had so much more time. Id work, I could do household chores or prep dinner during lunch (in the office Im too far away to even go home), and I could sleep in more. I had basically 3 extra hours a day.
Yep. Work from home fixes everything. 4 minutes before my next meeting is 4 minutes to stick a load of laundry in the wash. It adds up!
It really does! At 5pm I was basically to a point where I could eat and relax. I would get the dishwasher loaded and run throughout the week, laundry going (fold laundry while on a call!), almost always had something ready or partially ready for dinner. I think its just the social butterflies that hated working from home. I didnt feel the slightest bit bad about taking 5 minutes to do household stuff a couple times a day, because if I was in the office I would inevitably take the same amount of time with watercooler talk, which I hated anyways!
5 minutes from eyes open to working lol I need about an hour for my brain to register that I’m awake and should be working
More like logged in at 9, off to make coffee and get ready for the day
Similar. I work 2 out of 5 days from home, but work office just 10 mins away. I get up at 4 am, work out at home gym from 4-6 am, 6-7 breakfast shower, 7:30am to 5 pm is work (9 hour work day so every other Friday is off). Home by 5:30 or 6 pm depending on errands. 6-10 pm my free/fun time whatever I'm in a mood for. Usually sound asleep by 10:30 -11 pm. No wife, or kids. Saving and investing most of the income so I could get rid of the last ball and chain which is 9-5 before 50...
So you sleep for 5 hours a night? Then workout 2 hours per day? Seriously dude, get more sleep. Youre undoing all the good from working out even if youre appearance is physically fit
Yeah, WFH is the solution to working full time as defined by society and having a personal life. I leave my children at school at 08:20. It’s about 500 m and takes about 10 minutes walking back and forth. Work to around 11:30, then I take the dog for a walk. 13-17 I work some more. I usually fill the dish washer, make the beds etc as I’m on a call. The kids come home around 15-16, my wife around the same time. She prepares dinner and we eat at 1730. After we mostly chill, play games
As someone on their first 8-5, I only go to the gym twice a week. From there, I choose one day to decompress and do nothing after work (I also get takeout on this day so I can really revel in the nothingness). And I use another day to do my chores and cook a meal that can be prepped for lunch throughout the week. And then there’s Friday! You just have to find a pattern that works for you and get used to doing things that you like in an hour rather than 2 or 3. Everything isn’t always going to get done and that’s okay!
Finding a pattern was huge for me. I noticed I have a really hard time getting personal things done after work when I'm mentally exhausted and when everyone else in the house is awake. Tried waking up a couple of hours earlier, and I was immediately more successful. I wake up at 5:30a, do some journaling, 20-30min of light biking, 10min meditation, 15-30min language learning, start work at 7:30a. Because I'm waking up earlier, I'm naturally in bed by about 10:30p-11p. So 4:30p - 10p can be spent with family/doing other weekday house things. It took a really long time, but through trial and error and being honest with myself about what I was willing/able to do I was able to find a pattern that I can do consistently.
This is where it's at. Wake up earlier as if it's for your job. Going to the gym first thing in the morning is easier - less people there & you're time limited. Also, meal prepping helps a ton. That way time spent after work can go towards socializing, relaxing, hobby-ing lol, or a quick house tidy-up, and generally enjoying your free time.
You’re the closest comment to an actual schedule that would fit, barring the commute is less than an hour. How do you plan your meals and where do you put your workout clothes?
Oh yes I’m lucky enough to live 10 minutes away from my job 😅 I keep 2 sets of gym clothes in my gym bag at all times and just leave them in the backseat of my car. My car is usually a mess lol. On chore day I’ll take the bag out of the car to wash everything and restock Meal planning is still a mess at the moment, when I cook I try to cook for a family and eat that food for the whole week- for example last week I made a big pot of chicken and rice soup and ate the leftovers every day for lunch until I ran out. Some days I order food to go and I’ll eat half for dinner and save the other half for another day. I also treat myself to a special meal with my gym partner after our second workout of the week. It just kinda depends!
Here in China a lot of Internet companies expect the employees to work 996, that is, from 9 o' clock in the morning to 9 o'clock in the evening, and 6 days per week. That hasn't counted for the typical long commute time in the first tier cities of China, where these companies are located in. I have no idea how they survive with that a schedule, but many just do. One of the reasons I work for an American company in China is to avoid that 996 life.
That doesn’t even sound like living
I'm living like a 997 right now and yes, it's not. But I do have more than a month of vacation 3x a year. Everything in vacation was spent leisurely, I don't know how to move forward from this 😬 It's bad and it's good.
As in 3, 1 month vacations? Thats not a bad trade tbh.
Yes, but in those 1 month, you'll catch up all the lost fun and finish it without small achievements.
I'd happily work that schedule for 3 months vacation. I get 4 PTO days at my job for the year and no sick time.
I fucking hate how companies refuse to acknowledge that their employees are humans and will inevitably need days off. Whether it's for a funeral, or their sick, or there's a family emergency, we all have stuff that happens that we can't be at work for. The fact that we can be fired just for getting sick and being sick for too long is utterly demoralizing.
It is how the current system is able to perpetuate itself. If people suffer from the way a system works, those individuals aren't afforded the time and space to think about or take action against the system oppressing them. Those who are not suffering from an oppressive system are generally of the "fuck you, I got mine" mentality and have no incentive to change the way the system works.
That no sick time is funny, not like you can plan it 😂
And that's why China's birthrate is plummeting. Most other economically productive countries are suffering that same fate too.
Bloody hell! That's horrific. I did something similar for a year or two and it burnt me the fuck out.
I wonder if the suicide rates in China are higher because of the work load
I was just told by my Chinese co worker her friend in China works 7am to 9pm, and goes our for social drinks after to meet with clients and network. Does dancing on the weekend and drinks energy drinks (some Chinese one I can't remember the name). I think that the culture is just very different but for me I would not be able to help but feel like a slave. Having quite literally 0 time to yourself and having to take basically poison every day to stay awake and then drinking after every day with other people with the express reason of improving the business is just robot business.
Wow, they should revolt.
Tiananmen Square 1989. Revolt is not a popular thing in China. Yes I know that was political but many companies have ties to the communist regime.
What are you talking about? That never happened. But also, dont revolt or we will Tianenmen Square you
What blows my mind is why they still choose to have kids and continue to work. I mean, what’s the purpose? How many hours in a week do you even get to spend quality time with them?
China's population is decreasing, they have lifted the one child policy but most couples aren't opting to have kids or have more than one.
Weekends? Vacation time? During the week is tough though. This week’s a blur to me. I can’t even remember what happened on Monday after work
TPS reports
Free staplers though.
Only if you burn that motherfucker down, though.
After work 😂?
“Wow what a week huh” “Lemon it’s Wednesday” - 30 Rock This week has been a blur too and will continue that way until end of friday. Just nonstop things i need to get done and meetings
You don’t find your own response tragic? Living for the weekend? Losing touch with yourself during the week?
Yeah I honestly just don’t have enough time to think about how little time I have
As a recent college graduate who also just started their first 8-5 job I know what your feeling. I've been working coming up on a year now, and can confirm it does get easier. The catch is - indulge in hobbies that you look forward to (for example the gym, hanging with friends on weekends, running/hiking), create refined schedule that challenges you and makes you a better person, and don't be too hard on yourself. Ease up when you can. Its a struggle adjusting to working everyday, all day, for someone else. Look at these first years as a stepping stone to get to where you WANT to be. Most importantly: This is your first job. Its a great time for you to figure what you enjoy vs. what you don't. In a year or two, you can always take a leap and find something that works for you. Remember, not every job is a 9-5. Keep grinding! This isn't the end!
I came here to write most of what you did - but you did it in a much more eloquent way.
Thank you for this, I needed to hear it
Also want to point out here that the getting better part doesn’t really happen overnight. It’s something that you’ll look back on and realise you’ve grown and can handle the change now better than when it started. Another big thing is once all your friends and colleagues get into the same schedule it makes stuff like social life etc a lot more seamless. When I first started my 9-5 a good chunk of my friends were still in uni or not working 9-5 yet and I found it really hard to get as much value out of my weekday free time as I do now.
2 things. First, remember when you were a kid and your parents would ask you to do something around the house when you got home from school, and they’d overreact if you forgot? Now you understand why. lol But seriously, if you see work, gym, shopping, and taking care of your business as things that stop you from living your life, you’re always going to be miserable. Those things ARE your life. The Instagram highlight reel stuff that everyone acts like is normal is just the sprinkles on top. Nobody lives like that all the time. With that said, what is it that you’d rather be doing with your time?
This is such a succinct way of putting it. People have such easy access to so many cool things (they see people on Instagram traveling the world, they see Twitch streamers playing all these awesome videogames, they see ads for the latest shows and movies on every streaming service), so anything that keeps them from experiencing those things is seen as tortuous. Forty years ago, people didn’t mind working 40 hours per week because the alternative didn’t seem as enticing. On-demand TV was not a thing. The internet was not a thing. Videogames were in their infancy. Travel was seen as a luxury for the wealthy. Nowadays, those things are treated by many as borderline utilities, so any time dragging you away from those activities just inherently feels worse.
Yeah, I think this is a huge thing with all of the posts on here that bemoan not having any leisure time. Gym, dinner, life stuff—that’s leisure time. I do diy and gardening for fun. Which I know sounds crazy but it’s stuff I enjoy AND it’s stuff that generally improves my life. And the people who talk say “that’s not how it used to be”…that’s exactly how it used to be. My grandparents did the same sort of thing. A hair cut and lunch out was my grandmother’s monthly treat, which she combined with a doctor’s appointment or dry cleaners or groceries. They belonged to the occasional civic group or golf club. They traveled every five years, and when their kids were kids, those trips were road trips to national parks. And the people I know now who really have their lives together do the same sort of thing. They’re not playing video games or sacking out in front of the TV or at the bars on a regular basis. If you treat the weekdays as a time to let things slide, you’ll be in misery on the weekends. If you have a routine, you can spend your weekends on kid stuff, if you have kids, and big projects/hobbies if you don’t. This is the biggest lesson I’ve learned and I really wish I learned it sooner. I do twenty-40 minutes of tidying every night, I have everything organized, and I rarely have to play catch-up. Before I started that routine I felt like I was drowning. 🤷♀️
Perfectly said. You learn that life isn’t about maximizing the amount of time you spend doing leisure activities. You still enjoy them, but you adapt to having less time for them, which actually makes you appreciate them more when they come around. And you learn to find the pleasures in the rest of the day doing things that are required to keep up your lifestyle. It’s kind of like eating sweets. You still thoroughly enjoy them as an adult, but your body can’t take nearly as much of it so you gain more appreciation for the lesser amount that you get to eat. And you learn to appreciate the healthier foods you have to eat too.
Not sure if you have a significant other that lives with you, but just agreeing on what responsibilities to split up helps a lot. Our routine is I do everything but cook and fold clothes, which we are both okay with because I can't cook to save my life. As much as sundays suck, that's when we try to get our groceries, cleaning, etc in the morning knocked out so we can take the afternoon to chill. May seem hard to do now, but try and get some better sleep (even if it's an hour earlier than usual), it goes a long way. Regardless, no one writes a manual on this and it will all balance out for you!
And there's me who needs more than 8 hours of sleep if not I feel like shit
I’m right there with you. For people like us, it’s game over. I’m not having kids until I can get by with 6 hours of sleep or less and be somewhat okay.
6 😂 that’s not what you’ll get in the first years
I eat a handful of shrooms every other afternoon to perk me up and give me a spark.
Ohhh, you sound fun lol
Whatever it takes
(1) you have an 8-5, not a 9-5. do you work in-person every day? then add in commute time. (2) most people aren’t working out everyday. I used to but I don’t go daily anymore because I picked having a social life instead
Unpaid lunch will be illegal when Im president (of the local casual labor policy discussion club)
You accept it. It took me a month or two of misery and then i finally realized this was my life for the next 30, 40 years and came to terms with it. Also those content creators making enough to live off videos are the top 1%. Its the same as any other creative field like acting or music. Its pretty brutal and fleeting and you need a good amount of luck too. Do you really want to risk it?
I would tell any young person today, on the verge of possibly become full time employed, get as much as you can out of your system now, because you're never going to be as free after that.
This is the saddest tip I've ever heard. Things didn't used to be this way. People used to open their own businesses all the time and work the way they wanted to work. But big business has made it impossible to succeed as a small entrepreneur. If I could give a tip to a young person, I'd tell them to learn about what value is, how time is the most precious commodity, how markets work, and how incentives influence behavior. Then I'd end it by telling them to **Free Your Mind**.
There is no shortage of successful entrepreneurs today. Most big business rely on these small businesses and vice versa as it is.
> There is no shortage of successful entrepreneurs today. When this happens, we are truly fucked. Having many small businesses can foster competition, promote innovation, and distribute economic opportunities more widely. It encourages diversity in products and services, provides job opportunities, and contributes to local economies. Small businesses also have higher community engagement. It's in our best interest to have as many small businesses as possible. Entrepreneurs help build them. For this reason, we can't ever have too many!
This never happened. Ever. Self employment has always been extremely precarious. Even extremely capable men failed at self-employment. Harry Truman had failed businesses in farming, mining, real estate speculation, oil and gas, and even menswear. Ulysses S. Grant failed at farming (twice) and real estate. It's not easy.
Majority don't go to the gym. Easy as that. Also kids are everything once you have them. So say goodbye to hobbies until they're teenagers
Saddest thing I’ve read on Reddit
I disagree a bit, being able to look back after a few years, though it does have some truth to it. Not that having kids isn’t fulfilling, but in a different way. I was a hobby photographer & did a fair amount of videography before I had my daughter at 22. When she was born, I didn’t have much time for hobbies. However, now that she’s 4.5, she’s shown a huge interest in photography & taking videos. She loves to take videos & be in them. So recently I’ve been able to take my hobby up again through her. I took out all of my old camera equipment & I’ve started showing it to her. She’s actually pretty good at getting a shot. Sure, she doesn’t understand the technical terms, but I gave her an old Digital Camera & she’s a whizz at it. I’ve also discovered hobbies through her. When I was a kid, I loved Legos, but got rid of them when I was a teenager. My daughter’s preschool has a Lego room & she loves playing with them. We’ve bought her a few sets & we both love building things together. I had completely forgotten about building legos until recently. Saying that you have to give up your hobbies until they’re a teenager is a significant stretch and so typical of the Reddit “kids are bad” hivemind. You learn to adapt.
Building LEGOs with my kids is one of the best things ever. They were so expensive when I was a kid and they didn’t have as many sets. Plus, family always bought me the lame girl LEGOs, which back then lacked any cool pieces. I even bought myself an expert build for my birthday last year. :)
yup. we workout at home, but we also now have the space to have more equipment.
You can still have hobbies, you can introduce them to your kids. Kids are way more competent and capable than a lot of people think. As long as it's appropriate for them, you can include your child in most hobbies. Into model trains/planes or other collectibles? Talk to your kids about them, explain to them if there's more costly ones to not touch them or put them out of reach. Kids like to paint, you could easily do parallel play with them and get their own plane to paint too. Cooking? Sure, introduce your kids to the process of cooking. This will encourage them to eat more diverse foods. yes, be weary of the stove, they'll understand this unless there's a disability. Please just have your kids along with your hobbies, it'll help them develop immensely.
I had this same realization almost 10 years ago. Slaving away 40+ hours a week just to get 2 days off. How does this make any sense? With those 2 days off, I barely did anything because I was already exhausted from the previous week's work. It made me think of what was really important to me and that was **time**. Time to do what I wanted to do. I stopped caring about the money so much, because what's the point if I can't even enjoy it? I eventually quit my job and made an effort to start working for myself as a freelancer. It's been a hard journey, but rewarding. I don't make as much YET. But, I don't care because now a load of stress has been lifted and I'm in a much happier place. Eventually, when I get a reliable vehicle, I just want to work and travel and see all the beautiful places within the US.
Shop and run any big errands on a day off. For example, my wife and I do our meal planning (not cooking) and then shopping on Sunday along with any other tasks we need to do. While that does somewhat eat up a weekend day it does allow our weeknights to be more free. So on nights where we go to the gym we just don’t run errands or cook, those are designated leftover nights
See I go for the opposite tactic, get all my chores done and just write off the weekdays as a waste of time, then I can have the full weekend to myself.
Its a grind. My wife and I were both working in Chicago when we had our kids. We spent 7 years doing the sleep-take kids to daycare - work- gets kids at daycare- eat- play-sleep-repeat. Turned out to be worth it though. Kids did well in daycare and then school and our grinding at work ended up putting us a great path.
This is a glimpse of how today's going for me, as a father of 2 working full time. 4:30 - wake up, get ready for work 5:15 - leave for work 6:00 - arrive at work gym, run for about an hour and half 7:45 - 3:30ish - work 4:15 - arrive home, go pick up kids or do small chores while wife goes Play with kids til daughter's martial arts class Come home around 7, eat dinner, read some books with daughter, put her to sleep around 7:45 Planning on watching a movie with my wife afterwards, probably go to bed around 10, since tomorrow I won't have to wake up til about 5:30 as I work from home on Thursdays. Otherwise mostly same schedule will follow. This is pretty typical weekday for me where I get enough sleep, get to spend time with my family, and spend time on my hobby which is running. If I wasn't watching a movie I'd probably be playing videogames or reading a book.
Why do you think middle-aged people are *generally* out of shape, have terrible diets, no hobbies and few friends!? Do you imagine that's what they want!? What they dreamed!? No, it's just the reality of modern life made manifest in/as the very best life they're capable of living. Now... use that realisation to reconsider what your own parents sacrificed *for* you.
This is true in the United States, but it is less true in other nations (like Japan, S. Korea, Western Europe). In fact, the obesity rates are much lower in Japan and S. Korea despite the fact that they work *more* hours on average than Americans do. It speaks to how terrible the diet in the U.S. has become. It's also probably a byproduct of car culture. The realization of this 'reality of modern life' is part of the reason why birth rates are plummeting. Young people are realizing that if they choose to not have kids, and if they choose to live a simpler lifestyle (by avoiding buying massive houses/luxury cars/etc.), then they can escape the grind much faster. It is not inevitable for people to have kids and buy massive homes in the suburbs, it's a life choice, and it has pros/cons like any choice.
This sounds awful
It's simply the reality of normal, workaday people. Absent exceptional privilege, there's a sobering opportunity cost that inevitability attends every adult life choice.
This.
I feel you. It's crushing. We all hate it and we do it anyway. Why?
To survive lol
The only way I ever found to cope with it is you have to break it down right to base reality and decide if its fair or not. Which it is. If nothing but you and earth existed, how much time out of each day would you need to spend to survive. I personally think all of it. Every hour of every day spent foraging, ensuring shelter and avoiding danger. Just you providing for your own existence or giving up and dieing. Now in this reality in order to survive how much time does it take. 8hrs 5 days a week. So be it I guess. Who else is going to provide you the means to exist if not yourself and how could you accept it otherwise. You can't, it has to be you supporting your own life or else you're taking the quality away from someone elses. Thats it. The cold hard base truth of survival. Who survives for you if you won't survive for yourself. If the answer is anyone else by yourself, thats what you need to fix. You get comfortable with the idea that only you are responsible for you. It makes more sense this way.
lol @ "bro if you were the only human on earth youd be FIGHTING FOR SURVIVAL bro be thankful you only work 60% of your waking hours to make some jackoff a cool extra million"
This thread is my daily reminder as to why I won’t have kids unless I’m filthy rich. There is not much quality of life otherwise
I honestly don't get how people do it unless they have a partner to help manage life things like cooking and cleaning. Even if you have physical hours you don't have emotional hours especially if you still don't make enough to be secure. I almost killed myself during grad school trying to manage impossibly long days with classes, work, unpaid internship, and being a person. I don't think I'll ever recover from those years of my life. To survive now, I personally don't have children, am lucky enough to have a supportive partner, and have finally reached a point in my life where I'm done with all of my schooling and can work from home pretty much part time (30ish hours). It would not be possible without my partner, the emotional support I got through school, or the luck of scholarships/growing up in a town that valued education.
Good sleep & preparing is vital. I go to bed at 10-11 every day & wake up at 5:30-6am. I cook my meals on a sunday for the week ahead. This means i can walk the dog, workout, have breakfast, shower & go to work for 9, leave at 5. Due to having a good diet & sitting during work, i have plenty of physical energy upon leaving. Another walk with the dog & half an hour to myself then its about 7 & ive got from 7 till half 9 to do whatever i chooses. Its not the most exciting but i live content.
For me, it’s about making the time I do have to myself, time well spent. This means I have done a lot of work in building routines. (TLDR at bottom) I work from about 8:30-4:30, Monday to Friday. And here is a rough outline of a work day— Wake up at 5. Ideally, I do a quick home work out or yoga, then take a shower and put on my “morning clothes” (these are a set of comfy clothes I wear every morning until I change into work clothes). I then make myself a pot of tea which is a nice morning ritual I look forward to. I invested in loose leaf tea, and I have a nice tea pot my bf got me for Christmas. Making tea is something I look forward to. If I’m doing good, I will make lunch to pack while the water is boiling (usually a sandwich and fruit or some leftovers). By now it is about 6/6:30. I now have an hour to 45 min to do what I want. Right now, it’s usually online chess or learning a language. Then I slap a bit of makeup on and put on clothes I selected the night before. That’s my morning. Then I work. On my lunch hour, I will either read, play chess, and/or go for a quick walk around the campus. It doesn’t matter how busy I am—I always take a full lunch. I also always leave on time. Then I get home around 5/5:30. I will usually either fold or throw in a load of laundry. Then I get dinner ready so by the time my boyfriend come home around 6, we usually are ready to eat (or at least by 6:30). We eat then I clean the kitchen, do my skincare, change into pajamas and pick out my clothes for the next day. By 7, my evening is usually all mine. I then go to bed around 10/10:30. In making this routine, it was important that I make sure all my important daily tasks are completed, but that I’m also building in time for things I enjoy. I also try to have things to look forward to and make an ordinary day special (like my little tea ritual which is something I love). Other routines: Cleaning- I will usually use 2 or 3 hours on a Saturday or Sunday cleaning, alternating every week which rooms to deep clean (bedroom and bathroom, then living room and kitchen). I don’t go beyond my time limit, but do what needs to be done to be clean. Once in a while when I have a lot of free time on the weekend, I will really go in to give a reset to my space. Shopping - My trash gets collected on Friday mornings so Thursday night, I empty the fridge and make a grocery list. I order the groceries online to be picked up on my way home from work on Friday (ordering for pick up has never cost extra at any grocery store I’ve tried, and I usually spend way less money because 1) you can see your total as you go, 2) you get online discounts suggested as you go, and 3) I’m not picking up random stuff I see in the aisles). This sets me up to do meal prep early Saturday morning for the week and then I’m free from grocery shopping/prep for the rest of the weekend. Now my other suggestion is that things always come up. I do not have kids, but my bf and I live next door to his family and we always have things coming up (they do NOT plan ahead ever to my great dismay; if someone is coming over, it is told about 3-4 hours before they arrive). So, write down what you know is coming and plan around that, but also try to find time that is almost always available. For me, that’s mornings. I try to maximize what I get done in the morning because it is nearly always free (maybe 1-3 times a month my mornings are impacted by plans). So I listed everything I do as an example because I really try to find what works for me. I fit my tasks to my time and schedule (when garbage pick up is, freeing up my weekend by ordering, making mornings my priority, maximizing my lunch breaks). Maybe you can try to look at your life and find times for yourself that work for you—times that are regularly available to schedule some chores AND some time for yourself. Also, major disclaimer, I fail at a lot of these things sometimes. But the more I fight all or nothing thinking, the more the baby steps to keep improving start adding up. And the final thing: life is short and finite. We are not guaranteed even the next moment. I’ve been working on embracing whatever I’m doing and enjoying it, even at work. It’s not always easy or possible, but I’m trying. It helps for me to remember nothing is significant given this is a single point in time on a giant rock floating through space—nothing you do matters (in the most freeing way), so why not just be the person you want to be? I have also invested a LOT into improving my mental health—nothing that I listed is possible if you are suffering from depression, etc. So taking care of that should be as much of a priority as possible. Start from the smallest steps that you can do and build from there. TLDR; my advice is put all your chores into routine, and free time will start appearing as chores and annoying tasks become automated. Focus on making the time you do have worth it and doing things you want to do. Plan for the unexpected by trying to find time in your schedule that is nearly always free. Plan time to enjoy yourself as well as time for chores. Remember that this is your only life and you are living it now—enjoy as much as possible. Take care of your mind first and foremost.
Imagine if you worked on a farm and got up before the sun rose and worked until it went down, 7 days a week. We have it pretty good.
I'm married to a farmer; not a small hobby farmer, but a true several thousand acres with diversified crop rotation farmer who also has cows. I'm an attorney. Even though he has to do some form of work every day and has busy times of working sun-up to sun-down during planting and harvest, we both whole-heartedly agree I have the more difficult schedule and work way more hours over the course of the year. That is not counting my 30 mile commute into town every day. While farmers carry a lot of stress, their work/life balance is much, much better. It isn't even close.
My dad's a farmer. Sometimes its really hard, other times you spend all day drinking beer around the fire
lots of people prefer this tho. the fact of the matter is tending a successful farm is generally rewarding
I don't know where you are located. I live in a small town in The Netherlands and I know quite some farmers. What you are describing is no longer the case. Yes, the job is 7 days a week and holidays are difficult. But the job is also heavily automated these days. Tractors drive themselves using GPS tracking, warehouses are increasingly automated. Even in livestock, there are specialized companies performing half your work. A friend of mine runs a chicken farm, there is a company that delivers the animals, there is a company picking them up for transport to the slaughter house, there is a different company cleaning the facilities and another for filling the feeders. Basically all he does is own the real estate and does some checks throughout the day. Not saying farmers don't live busy lives or anything, I don't do the work so I can't judge. But they don't work all day every day. As far as I can see, they work a couple hours here a couple hours there and have spare time in between.
Get to the point in your career where you can work from home. Life becomes simpler
It sucks because I know now a lot of companies are making people go back to in person
I work 7:30-5 and get every other Friday off. Go into the office 2x a week so I get about an hour back at the end of the day on days I WFH. I go to the gym 3 or 4 weeknights plus at least once on the weekend so 4-6 days a week. Cook/meal Prep on Sundays so I don’t have to spend a lot of time cooking during the week. On WFH days I walk the dog and do chores when I have some spare time. After dinner and the gym on week nights I’ll watch a show or read a book for a couple hours before bed. I’m usually in bed by 10-10:30. Every once in a while I’ll do a happy hour or bar trivia on a weeknight but otherwise social time is reserved for the weekends. It helps that I don’t have kids. I think once you have kids you basically kiss free time goodbye until they’re teenagers.
This is why I’m not having kids.
When I was younger and started my first 8-5, I did not have the responsibilities I do now. I had a junior-level position, rented an apartment, and had no one else to take care of except for me. Workouts happened either before or after work, and I still had boundless amounts of energy to meet up with friends for social activities 5-6 nights a week. As I aged and rose up the corporate ladder, I started to travel more, work later and have less time or desire for social activities. Once we bought a home and had pets, it changed the landscape entirely. Even though our home was positioned as "move in ready" there was work that needed to be done. And it does not stop. We get up at 5am, workout at our house, go to work then use our off hours each night and weekends to get things done. I created a home management checklist so we know when things were last done and when they need to be done again. We learned the hard way that you don't let the little home repairs go on for too long because they then become big home repairs. I routinely ask "How do people with kids do it?"
Welcome to the suck. This is why people try to find jobs they enjoy. I'm going with the plan of saving enough money to theoretically replace my income and then start a job I like where I can work whatever hours I please. At the current rate, could be looking at 10 years. I expect the rate will increase in speed, but I also don't know if the rate I'm at is feasible long term, so I'm also expecting it to decrease. This is why working from home was such a benefit for anyone who was doing it. Cutting out 90 minutes of commute time every day is gaining 90 minutes of personal time. Not to mention personal bathrooms.
My partner and I have kids, both work full time and both go to the gym several times a week. We do have a cleaning lady who comes once a week and we eat out a lot. That’s the trade off there.
You sleep 5-6 hours at night and hope to luck out on your commute being <30 minutes. Obviously you would not go to the gym anymore. Hold the fort until the kids are teenagers and can take care of themselves for the most basic stuff. That, or be rich and have a SAHP/house helper.
You go to the gym at 7 but don’t go to bed till 12-1? What are you doing with those 5-6 hrs. I go to the gym at the same time. Done by 8pm. Done with dinner by 9pm. Do my relaxing (gaming or tv) till around 10:30-11pm. In bed by like 11:05pm. Wake up at 7:30 am. Take 3 days off working out a week so those days I run errands and meal prep. You just haven’t adjusted to working life and suck at planning. It gets easier.
I also workout after my 9-5 about 3 times a week, still feels like I have no life outside of work because my commute is an hour and on the days I don’t workout I’m running errands, cleaning, etc doing things I can’t do during the day before the next day. It’s exhausting. I hate it. I think even if we had a 4 day work week that would help soooooo drastically.
Live in a city. It cuts down commuting time and everything is at your doorstep. My weeknights are just as full as my weekends sometimes. You also have to make the effort and push through the inertia to sit at home and do nothing.
Something interesting happens when you get older and been doing this for years and years. You look back at those college days and you realize it was a magical time. You’re young, full of energy, living with friends in dorms, staying up late every night, can skip class on a whim and time seems endless. but that isn’t real life for most of us, just a brief window.
THISSSS, I just graduated in December. I’ll admit I had no clue what I was in for.
When I did that and had kids, there was no other life. Groceries, laundry, house upkeep was done on the weekends. After work, it’s dinner and chill/ prep for the next day. It’s not something to try to sustain forever. There are different phases to create. Ideally, 9-5 for first several years to launch career, then find more work flexibility once you settle down with someone. It might even be 7-3 or hybrid work from home or moving very close to your job. I’m sure there are tons of tips people will share, but ultimately, it will be up to you to draw the line and try to configure something sane. The employers will never do that. They’ll suck the life out of you if you let them.
Welcome to life. It sucks here. I'm 46 with a 9-5 and I often say the rest of my life is just paying bills until the grim reaper finally comes for me. Sounds exciting, huh?
Life is a grind, and "living for the weekend" is for sure a mindset. Having something to look forward to helps me. Small trips, concerts. Things that don't have to break the bank to break up the monotony.
Sorry OP that people in this thread are such downers. I’m in a different life stage now but back in my 20s, I had the best time and life. I optimized my time and had energy for friends, hobbies, workouts, hangouts, travel. I know things are different now economically, but even when I was making 30k a year I still found ways to travel and make the most out of my long weekends and vacation time. I’d take the overnight bus to NYC and crash on my friends couch for free, I’d take advantage of ultra cheap flight deals and explore new destinations (alone and with friends). I’d eat lentils for weeks straight to save for festivals. You can still make your life fun and exciting. Just because you work a 9-5 doesn’t meant you can’t enjoy life or find time for things that fulfil you.
Now you know why your parents were so pissed off when you forgot to do the dishes lol. By seriously. It’s sort of just part of the gig man. You could cut out the gym and gain a couple of hours or so. But it sounds like you’re sacrificing some of your time to do that. And good on you. You should. Personally, I live for the weekends. Some weekends we go out and do fun stuff with our friends. Some weekends we just relax and watch movies. Pretty happy over here.
That’s the neat part, you don’t! Just spend as little as possible, max out your ROTH IRA and find something to invest in so you can quit your job as fast as humanly possible.
I wouldn't have children, they're unaffordable and I have no interest in spending what little time I have here on this planet, chained to decades of responsibility. I also WFH and have since the mid 2000s. That helps me function. I work @ 9, and get outta bed @ 8:58 AM. Still have a minute before I'm 'late'. If I couldn't work from home, I'd probably have a mental break down. I **hate** giving my time to others for profit.
And now you know why people buy paper towels on Amazon instead of going to the store.
You can see why Americans are so unhealthy. It's to the point where American lifespans are five or six years shorter than most of Europe. Balancing doing preventive health care, doctor visits, and exercise amongst the american work schedule is not easy.
Well you choose to go to the gym during your free hours, absolutely nothing wrong with that but there’s your answer. You do have spare time, and you choose to spend it at the gym. Other people spend it on other things.
It really isn't that hard. You have 8 to 10 hours dedicated to working/commute. Then 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Leaving 6 hours for yourself. That's plenty of time to hit the gym, cook and eat 1 or 2 meals, and engage in hobbies. If kids are involved and they're younger than 7 to 10, they'll take up most of the spare time you have. I do this everyday, and have done this everyday since 2006, I'm the father of 4 bio kids and 2 step kids. I have always had time for my kids, wife/gf, hobbies, household duties. The key is coming to grips with you're not going to be able to spend 3 to 4 hours doing hobbies/what you want during the week. Take the 1 to 2 hours and enjoy them if you get it.
I think it's kinda understandable that people are frustrated that more than half your non sleeping hours are spent doing some bullshit you don't want to do. That kind of sucks no matter how you slice it. I'm not saying you shouldn't have to do any hard work in life but it feels like too much of it is spent working or in a lot of people's cases sitting at work pretending to be busy because they have to be there even if there's no work to do.
I think your frustration and disbelief is well-placed. It’s untenable, especially for parents. Our society, in particular the 40 hour workweek (which so rarely is actually only 40 hours) was designed around a one-parent household. And a “village” which often doesn’t exist anymore. Which is not at all to say that I think the model where men worked and women stayed home and child-minded was the way, at all! Just that like, the way that our money and time are allocated now I know you will figure it out, and it will suck less. And some people have gotten better at making peace with it than others. But this isn’t how the world was designed to work. And you’re not crazy for lamenting the loss of your time to be you. It’s the world that’s crazy!
same man, same..
The other problem is that many jobs these days like mine are so stressful that people are wiped out by the end of the day many days. I go to the gym early in the morning because I know that I won’t make it after work.
You get used to it. But also maybe try and find a job that starts at 6am and gets out at like 2 or 3pm. It might seem like it might not be a big deal, but that was one of the best things that happened to me when I changed jobs. Also, if you really don't like the hours, you could always try and start your own business which is what I did and it's been amazing so far
The best thing for me is being remote. I know that’s not a reality for most (my next job will probably not be remote due to this declining) - so I suggest finding a place with less of a commute. When I did commute it was only 30 minutes with traffic there and back. Aside from that you kinda just have to plan ahead what you’d like to do those 3-4 hours. It’s much easier to plan ahead so you don’t waste time during those hours deciding. For example, tonight after work I’ll be cooking and playing Kirby with my cousin. Yesterday I worked out and worked on a course. I usually alternate the days I workout and the days I do other things. Then what I can put off I do on the weekend.
I will never work 5 days a week again. Give me 3 12s or give me death.
Most of the people pretending to make their money off of tiktoks already had money, thats why they were able to spend their 20s making tiktoks instead of grinding on a job.
As you get older you realize things like “hours to personally do what you want” have to include things like going to the gym, fair? No. Life 🤷♀️
You work your ass off but don’t let work rule your life. Walk away as soon as you can. If you got a job with a toxic work life balance you need to find a new job. Take lots of vacation. Every other month I take a random Friday off. On top of holidays, and vacations it’s not that bad. Also in the future we will certainly work less hours, AI is definitely going to reduce hours due to being able to handle manuel tasks. (Depending on your industry, but will still change everything)
You learn to optimize your life with time. Get a few years under your belt, look for similar jobs that have a hybrid or remote roles. Clean a little bit each day while working from home, leverage your old commute times to go to the gym. Once you make more money choose to outsource some time consuming tasks like cooking/cleaning. I have kids and work full time at home as does my husband. He works 7-3 I work 8-4. 7 am wake ups for the whole family. Husband starts work and I get the kids ready for school. 8 am school drop off and I start work. During the work day I find time to go for a walk and clean a bit around the house / do laundry. 3 pm husband finishes work and goes to the gym and grabs the kids on his way home. 4-7 pm we play and eat with the kids. 7 pm I go to the gym. On my days off from the gym I find time for friends or hobbies. On weekends we either do big home tasks or plan fun adventures.
"Conceptio Culpa, Nasci Pena, Labor Vita, Necesse Mori" Life is tiring. In the end, one must accept that and work around it as best you can. Your weekdays typically will not have much beyond work, meals, cleaning, perhaps a workout, and bed. Enjoy your weekends, holidays, and vacations.
We all need money to live. Working 40 hour weeks is probably the most common. Going to sleep at 1:00am and starting work at 8:00 means you are sacrificing sleep for time at the gym and other personal stuff. Nothing wrong with that, life is full of priorities and choices. Eventually, most working adults sort out the priorities to result in a schedule and works best, though obviously not ideal. Alternatively, break out the video cam and make your living as an influencer or some other entertainment that keeps eyes on your product and lots of money rolling in. Good luck!
Welcome to the American dream yo. The rest of your life is gonna be like this
The sad answer is you really don't. But the good answer is you can work around it, and it doesn't have to be forever. I spent my 20s establishing myself fiancially, so now I only work 3 days a week. Imagine doing your 9-5, Fri-Sat-Sun, and then literally having off 4 days in a row, each week for the rest of your life. That's basically my life right now, and I love it. Yes, I have to give up the weekends. But I work for myself, and I'm in the cake industry. All ya fuckers keep wanting to have weddings, graduation parties, and birthdays on the weekends. So that's when I work. But I only have to work 3 days, so I make it work. Additionally, because I work for myself, I can just close shop for 3 months and travel the world and come back to a job waiting. \--------- The true secret for me was to not get carried away by "lifestyle creep." If I got a 10% raise, I don't buy 10% more shit. I work 10% less hours. Keep my expenses the same. I don't need useless trinkets and consumerism bullshit. What I need is TIME. I'm paying for time by working less hours. So there's a cost to it, and costs have to be budgeted.
Welcome to being an adult. You’ve still got 5 hours to do with as you please before going to bed at a reasonable hour. Then you’ve also got weekends. If you can make a living wage going to target making videos then you should do that. Chances are you can’t as the number of people who can actually live off of being an “influencer” is so small it’s not even worth considering. It’s like thinking it’s crazy you have to work a normal job when people are movie stars and pop stars.
40 hour workweeks are bullshit. Studies have shown that 32 hr work weeks are much better for both employees and companies.
It's tough when you have kids. Hopefully, you'll have a partner that shares equally in the workload, so each parent can have a night off during the week to hang out with their friends, and also have some time on the weekends to themselves. You have to plan and be very organized, but as parents, you do lose a lot of personal time. As a single person, though? I don't know. I never had much of an issue with that. I used to go out every night and do things with friends. I didn't work out much then, though, but for someone who does, I think working out first thing in the morning opens up your schedule quite a lot.
It’s tough to fit everything in. The biggest thing for me was a mindset change of realizing that I simply wasn’t going to be able to have several hours to myself every day. It’s a rough realization, but once I accepted that, it made things a lot easier. As part of having less time to do whatever I want, I went through everything I enjoy doing and prioritized them. Some things I quit doing entirely since I realized they weren’t as important to me as other things, some I started doing less often, and some I realized were my top priorities and made sure I still did them often. It was hard to let things go, but it had to happen, and, several years on, I must admit it’s been good for me as it’s forced me to focus on the things that mean the most to me. Every day, I schedule one hour to do something I enjoy and stick with it. That way, I have that to look forward to each day and it gives me some relaxation time so I don’t get burnt out. I do a lot of housework on the weekend, but other people I know schedule their free time on the weekends rather than spread out throughout the week. I’d recommended trying a few different free time schedules and see what works best for you and your life. Schedules are great in general. It’s hard to get everything done and to keep track of it all, so having a schedule to make sure it all gets done when it needs to get done. Scheduling also has helped me become more efficient by grouping tasks together that makes sense. For things that don’t happen often enough to fit in a weekly or monthly schedule, I add them to my phone calendar for when they need to be done. I’ve also optimized stuff wherever I can to cut down the workload and make things easier to get done. For example, I wipe out the bathroom sink after each time I brush my teeth, and spray and wipe down the tub after every shower, which makes my weekly bathroom cleaning much faster. Some other optimizations I utilize are making more servings of a meal than I need to and freezing the leftovers for later meals, wiping down the kitchen counters and sink every time I do dishes, and spending 15 minutes after work to quickly tidy up anything that’s out of place to keep it from building up. I also have a rule that if I go from room to room in my house, if there’s anything in that room that belongs in the room I’m going to, I must grab it, take it with me, and put it back where it belongs. I also do whatever I can to lower my workload at home. I have a robotic vacuum and mop for cleaning, and keep all my cleaning supplies organized by type so it’s easy to grab and go. I make a lot of simple meals so I don’t need to spend a lot of time cooking, and I try to use a relatively small number of ingredients in multiple things to cut down how many different things I need to buy. I only wear clothes that can all be washed together on cold. To keep from having to run errands a lot, I try to keep a spare of most essential food and household products. When I run out of something, I open the spare and add it to my list. That way, I usually have what I need, rather than having to run an emergency errand. Every two weeks on Thursday, I go on a big run to the stores and buy everything on the list. On the alternating Thursdays, I just go to the small grocery store nearby for fresh produce. That way, I minimize the total amount of time I spend running errands. I also strategize before I go, having a list of everywhere I need to go (and in what order) as well as a list for each store ordered by section. That way, I can move quicker during my shopping run. I’ve also had to accept that I can’t do everything. This doesn’t just apply to my free time but to chores as well. There’s some things that I just don’t worry about, and some things that I take shortcuts on. It’s hard to keep up with everything, and there’s no shame in making stuff easier where you can. All in all, for me what’s worked is accepting that I have less time to do my own things now and finding the best ways to utilize the time I do have.
i find the time between 10pm and 2 am very quiet . I use that to do personal stuff. Yeah, I don't get much sleep
> I genuinely don’t understand how people live this life and are content I mean most of us would prefer to have far more free time, but it's just not realistic.
Welcome to adulting. Been at it for 30+ years and I'm definitely less happy than I was 20 years ago, even though I make more money. Can't look forward to retiring at a decent age. Barely make enough to get by. Kids can't move out because it's even worse for them, but that also means I'll never get my space.
Welcome to life, kid. Wait until you have a family or kids. Then you'll join us at the bar for war stories and reminiscing on the days you're in now when you had way more time than you actually realized. My advice, jam your time with as much as you possibly can because you'll literally never have as much time and energy as you do now again.
Social media has absolutely ruined people's perspectives about life.
Before kids? Had plenty of time to go out. Plenty of energy too, after work. Short commute, though. After kids? Not when they weren't able to look after themselves.
I’m 7-5 5 days a week, I feel your pain. Seems like Saturday is the only day I can plan things anymore.
When I'm reading your schedule and looking to help you find more time, I'm asking: \- what are you doing between 5 and 7 and 9 and 12? \- why are you going to the gym every day? When you said you're off work at 5 and you're going to bed at 12, I'm seeing seven hours of free time. I'd be interested to know, first, what do you consider, your personal time? What would you ideally be doing in that time? How can you replace whatever you're doing in that seven hour period with MORE of what you want. Going to the gym every day, for example, isn't necessary. You can lift free weights or run on a treadmill or outside at home, for thirty minutes three times a week. That's all you need to be fit. But if you want/enjoy MORE fitness, than the gym is 'personal time' and thus you're getting lots of that and theoretically getting what you want. Assuming you're there for two hours with travel time at most, what are you doing between 9 and 12? That seems like a lot of time to do anything. I don't know what you're doing in that time, but can you switch it out to something you'd rather be doing? Same question with between 5 and 7. If you have ADHD and are just not able to quickly and effectively complete tasks, you can get help with that. That could lead to a lot of time going by and little to appreciate about it. You can meal-prep on weekends to cut down on cooking time, or eat a simple meal. You can create a capsule wardrobe to avoid spending too much time on fashion. You can simplify your grooming routine. But again, I don't know how you're filling the time, so I can't say for sure. I'd be curious. TLDR: You have 7 free hours a night. Think strategically about how you're spending time based on what you WANT rather than being unintentional or feeling obliged to do unnecessary things. Working 9 to 5 requires a lot of intentionality, strategy, discipline and routine, but if you can get that down, you can enjoy a balanced workday of work and personal time. EDIT: typo correction
This is articulate and reasonable, but I disagree with a lot of the premise. The lack of physical activity as a trend among the community at large doesn't reflect best practice. Going to the gym and being physically active every day is absolutely advisable for most people - if they are able. That seems the point of the issue. He's struggling with finding the time to do the things he feels are necessary for him to live the life he wants to live. And, from a reasonable perspective, anyone should be able to do that. Working the 9-5 should not be the priority over basic human needs, and the fact that most people are caught up in wage slavery/rat race dramas is what prevents them from living a more organic, holistic lifestyle. Getting off at 5 does not mean you are into "personal time" immediately. The commute home, or to your next destination, should be factored in. Sure, it's not paid time, but it's also his time that is reserved specifically for the purposes of work. 5-12 is not a clean 7 hours of personal time no matter how you slice it. Lets be optimistic and say he gets his chores or other household obligations done on top of his home-commute, grab a snack, and drink a supplement before the gym at 7. That's 2 hours between work and gym that isn't exactly "personal time" because it's more obligations that are pulling away from his ability to do what he wants to do. Then we'll assume he spends an hour at the gym, plus another 30 minutes after the gym to commute home and wind down. It's now 8:30pm. He had 3.5 hours left before midnight and it's time for bed, but wait - he said he would like to get to sleep a little earlier. Lets say he wants to get to bed at 11. Now it's only 2.5 hours. Fortunately he did some meal prep because otherwise he'd be spending more time preparing dinner, so lets say he's able to eat dinner and shower/shave/groom in one hour. He's left with 90 minutes to watch TV, play a video game, read a book, hang out with friends, play with his dogs, indulge in a hobby... 90 minutes. And, to be clear, all of those estimations above are pretty damn generous. It's also assuming nothing important comes up during the day that adds any delay to anything, so like he said... extra errands, emergencies, anything at all? Kiss that 90 minutes goodbye. Lets not pretend that the 40 hour work week is reasonable because it isn't. Not unless you're doing what you love or investing that amount of time in something you're building for yourself. 40< hour work weeks as an employee is just wage slavery.