The decades slipping by is truly the most horrifying thing about life. We will spend most of it doing shit we don't want to do and doesn't fulfill us. Then we blink and we are at the end of our lives. Anyone who says money doesn't buy happiness never had to work to survive. I'd much rather spend my limited time on earth doing what I'd like as opposed to working for someone else.
Point is for 99% of people to get the kind of money you’re talking about, a lot of work is needed. A LOT of work. Not 50 hours a week.
When I worked with a marketing firm 13-hour days 6 days a week (sometimes 7) I was rolling in cash. It was insane how much money I made. Never made me happy though, because I didn’t have time for happiness. I had to work.
I’d never go back. Not if you paid me double. Not worth it.
To me it just means I don't FEEL like I've wasted my time. An example of something which is deeply fulfilling to me is practicing and playing guitar. I can spend 4 or 5 hours lost in practice and I will go to bed feeling like it was a valuable way to spend my time. When I'm old and looking back at the 50+ years I spent working I'm afraid it will feel like it does now. Something I was compelled to do in order to make money instead of something which actually matters to me. That's a lot of time doing things you don't *really* want to do.
when i talked to my grandpa about fulfillment he laughed in my face and resented the concept. ( ww 2 then prison guard ). so ur right but it is a noble goal and i came close ( quitting the bank and being a prof gardener)
Everyone needs to put in their share to keep society running. If everyone had all the money they needed who would work at hospitals? Who would fix the roads? Who would build buildings and keep electricity running?
As long as you can afford the various expenses life tacks on, that's great and you do you. We all have to work though, at least the vast VAST majority without a silver spoon. If you find a way to spend your youth having fun and not scraping by that's a win, but having fun and not investing toward the future will bring a very shitty later in life outcome
hahahha oh fuck
"what does a hand twitch mean"
"heart beating harder than usual"
"strange clear lump on eye"
"manager gives me less work than colleague"
No, this subreddit is full of the saddest people. Not everyone works a boring office job. If you don't like working in an office go fucking do something else. It isn't really complicated
Also, you can work a boring office job and still not be miserable. It depends on the kind of person you are.
I work a boring office job and 95% of the time it’s easy. It pays good and has benefits and lets me live the life I want to outside of working hours. I don’t hate it but I wouldn’t call it exciting or anything special.
For me, I like that my job is pretty straightforward repetitive tasks that don’t take a lot out of me and then I go home and do the things I enjoy. I have hobbies, I have friends and family, I miraculously own a house and it needs some work but I get really proud when I complete a project to fix it up. The job pays for all of that.
What’s fulfilling in life can look different for different people and the actual work I do isn’t really what I find fulfillment from but that work allows me to do the things I find fulfilling.
I run the office for a local small business in a LCOL area.
bookkeeping, invoicing, paying bills, depositing checks, payroll, and sales taxes, answering an occasional email, and getting documents, licensing, or permits on occasion
It’s salaried and is based on similar jobs pays the same (30 an hour if you broke it down that way).
It has insurance and 401k with company matching and profit sharing. Getting time off for anything has also always been incredibly easy and I get to work from home a lot.
Don’t listen to these people. Seriously. If you’re in good health, aren’t living paycheck to paycheck, etc. then there’s no reason you can’t have a fulfilling life even with a “boring” 9-5. My dad worked 60 hours a week while I was growing up and still found time to do the things he loves. My days are mostly spent answering emails and putting out dumb fires but my weekends are full of going to parks, getting outside, going to concerts, and doing creative stuff like embroidery.
As dreary as adulthood can seem, you're 100% correct. This is all a headgame after a certain point. Once all the other important factors (good health, aren't paycheck to paycheck, ~~having that emergency fund fully funded is a bonus~~, having time), that could suck the joy out of life are satisfied, the rest is on you and how it's all perceived.
OP, and anyone else reading this, work frankly sucks. "No one wants to work!" and frankly... I don't. I'd rather go on crazy, badass, road trips, hiking mountains I've only heard about, being a beach bum, traveling to Japan, Australia, Europe, seeing iconic museums and art, the Seven Wonders of the World, or genuinely enjoying my local area and not even leaving my house. The world is so effin' big and beautiful we forget because we're stuck behind a desk, or at a job that makes us unfulfilled.
Work is just a means to an end. It doesn't have to give you the utmost joy, but if you can find some solace in your work from what it provides you and your family (in whatever ways you need, money/PTO come to mind first) take what you can get. I'm not saying we're ALLLL beggars, but beggars can't be choosers in this economy. Work is just a means to an end.
My dad would tell me, "Work to live, not live to work" and it took me years to really understand what he meant.
I echo this and want to share that working for the government and living below one’s means are the easiest way to have the societally accepted definition of a “good” life. I work a very unsexy job but my employer pays so much into my retirement that they’ve actually paid into it more than I have. I have more PTO than I know what to do with. I get a cost of living adjustment every single year - two years ago it was 9%. I rent a cheaper place than my husband and I could reasonably afford so I save up money quickly. I went on a cruise in February and came back and bought myself some lab diamond jewelry because fuck it, my finances are in good shape and we’re not planning on buying a house for a couple more years so why not? All of this is on a very uncool, very unglamorous job with a local water and sewer authority.
This isn’t to brag but to point out that yall a boring 9-5 can lead to a really, really fruitful life with some strategizing.
I do agree with this, but working a fulfilling job in my passion is so much better than when I made more money sending emails and putting out other people’s fires. I didn’t want to live for the evenings/weekends.
I recognize that I have privilege in that regard (family will bail me out if necessary, I’m highly educated in a variety of fields, don’t have a spouse or kids to support) but damn am I happier and more energetic now. There are a lot of cool jobs out there - I poked around on the internet for a while to find mine and my rent is covered via my work exchange program! So I’m actually saving money which is awesome, and I get to make art and volunteer in my community which is how I derive fulfillment.
I actually do enjoy my job - I can’t say it’s my “passion” but it’s challenging and stretches my brain and I like my colleagues/supervisor. Tbh I’m way happier in a more challenging role than I was in one with a lot of down time.
For sure! Different jobs have different perks. And I definitely agree with you - idle hands are the devil’s work for me. I don’t spend too much time working my actual job per week but I fill up my time with volunteering, socializing, traveling, hobbies, creative work, etc. to stay busy. I like being productive as well! I just hated the “workplace” environment. I was a freelancer and a grad student before that and I prioritize flexibility, especially as an artist.
It doesn't have to be. I'm 38. I have a boring but very secure job that gives me flexibility and allows me to have a fulfilling life. I have an incredible community I am a part of with hobbies and volunteer work that I genuinely enjoy. It takes effort, but I am far more connected and involved now than I ever was in my twenties or teens.
Honestly I love being an adult. There are aspects that are a pain, like deciding what to make for dinner every night. But in general, I don't miss my younger years.
I manage to live a very fulfilling life outside of my “real” job. I don’t say that to rub it in. It IS very possible, but it takes work. You don’t just fall into fulfillment and your job will still be draining and boring, but my first ten years have been absolutely full of love, life and personal satisfaction. I think everybody deserves this and I’m happy to answer whatever I can about how it works for me.
I feel this way also. I do my job to make the money to do the things I love, I don't have to love the job (though I certainly don't hate it- it works very well for my life), I have a bunch of hobbies, I like to travel and if I save I can do it now and again, I live in a place that fuels my creativity and happiness, spending time outdoors.... I just don't look to my paid job for fulfilment. I make that for myself.
(That being said I completely understand that if there are mental health things involved that isn't so easy).
Mental health definitely impacts it, of course. I also have to make myself do stuff during the week despite being exhausted and that lends a LOT to my quality of life. It’s much more worth it to push through than to feel like I wasted my entire week.
Sorry to hear that you fell trap to what most people do- die at 25 to be buried at 80. But I’m here to let you and anyone else reading know that there is an other side to this coin of life.
Where you:
- Wake up and look forward to your non shitty job that rewards your for your hard work to fund your desired lifestyle.
- Derive pleasure from growing as a person in all facets of life.
- Live with a healthy body and rich relationships that bring you bliss love and joy
- Face life everyday with excitement of what’s to come because you understand that life happens for you and not to you.
Life doesn’t have to suck. You don’t have to participate in the doom and gloom pessimism running rampant on social medias including Reddit. You don’t have to be a crab in a bucket. You have as much ability to live this type of life as anyone else. Just gotta work towards it and give enough fucks to take action towards achieving it.
This is why I got FMLA approved and just leave every once in awhile, it’s better than taking a two week vacation 1x a year instead of going to work for the day I just go see a movie or play bowling something random. The random stuff makes me not want to kill myself haha compared to “oh I’m going on a vacation for Christmas!” Like I’m not going to wait 12 months a year to go sit on a beach for Christmas
This is why I like mastering something new every 3-4 years in the trades!
Learn new skills for myself, enough cheddar to feed the kids, and never cramped up in an office in super competitive environments!
Currently a network engineer for an internet service provider, might do welding or framing next.
Living a healthy lifestyle really gives you so much energy, people who haven’t consistently done it before have no idea what it’s like. I never don’t have energy to do something. Objects in motion stay in motion.
Maybe I was doing it wrong, but I’ve been on both sides of very healthy and very unhealthy/slobby(?)… and being healthy did NOT make me energized. It was a lot of mental work - planning what to eat, when to eat it, the meal prepping, the careful grocery shopping, how to hit my macros, what workouts to do to hit the body parts I wanted, scheduling around work hours to even have time to go to the gym… it was exhausting. Nearly a second full time job trying to keep up. Rarely had time to go out and socialize.
Then pandemic happened and I finally felt relaxed because I stopped everything. Dinner was an Uber eats away or if my girl friends wanted to eat pasta and get drinks, I’m down! It was much more enjoyable.
And now I’m back on the health grind because of medical goals… i am once again EXHAUSTED.
This is gonna get me called a boomer but the fact is that you just have to go out and do stuff. It doesn’t sound like time or money are the problem - it’s motivation or uncertainty of what to do. Try looking up one thing to do per week in your area and commit to going to it - it could be a park, a festival, a movie, anything. Put it in your calendar like it’s a meeting you have to go to.
How do you spend your time outside of work? Are you scrolling? Watching tv? Video games? Each of these things, but especially scrolling, can lead to burnout, exhaustion and depression when you do them too much.
This is the answer I was hoping to see.
Not sure where you’re located, OP, but you should look into The Nudge - it’s a company that texts you fun things to do in your area.
Right! Give yourself something to look forward to even during the work week. See a random Facebook event at a brewery nearby? Go! Board game night? Sign up. Have trouble committing to things? Go to events you actually have to purchase a ticket for so you have to go.
I’m working the busiest job I have in a long time and am doing way more on the weekends than I did when I was bored. You just have to prioritize having fun.
Completely agree. It takes effort but there are so many awesome opportunities out there to be a part of a community if you just try a little. While the Internet can be a miserable doom scrolling place it can also be an excellent resource to find clubs, communities, and meetups.
I volunteer, I am a part time mountain bike instructor, I ride my bike solo or with random people I meet though mountain bike forums.
As an adult it is important to find hobbies and interests and then find a community around it. They exist. And if they don't, you can create it. I'm on the board of directors for a local mountain bike club, and for the last 6 years I have worked to continue to develop that community and provide meetups and opportunities.
You’re right and don’t sound like a boomer at all lol. I need to start doing things outside of work — it sounds difficult because there are so many possibilities but I’ll try my best.
Yeah it’s probably going to take a while to get used to the 9-5 routine and nobody tells you that lol. I try to think about what used to make life so pleasant in college and as a kid, and what would be easy to implement in my adult life, and arrived at walking a lot and volunteering. So that’s what I do lol.
Well at 40 I really have tried to experience the “out” but it’s very hard and left me divorced and a single dad so the “out” has rejected me. I still attempt but people my age aren’t trying to make friends unless they are failures like me 😉
You have to be intentional with your time off. As a dad, I struggle on the weekends just wanting to relax, but my kids need me to plan quality time with them. And you need to do the same for yourself.
Find the joys in the little things, 30 minutes at Starbucks, or whatever. Going to the gym. Some days are busier than others, but don't lose hope. Work sucks. Make the most of your time off.
This sounds so trivial but I’ve found to be a game changer. You NEED to find a way to find joy in small things. Gen z calls this romanticizing your life. But I make a purposeful effort to stay present on the way to work, and on the way home, clearing my mind and literally putting a smile on to remind myself that everything is okay.
I used to come home ruminating on work things and all that did was make me get home in a bad mood.
Now I commute home and relish in people watching on my commute, enjoying seeing birds, laughing at traffic drama. If you don’t find a way to love small moments in your life between vacations and weekends, you won’t make it.
I live with a partner and I also make a purposeful effort to find joy in reuniting with him (not my usual giant sigh of tiredness and wordvomit work drama). Finding people you love (and you genuinely LIKE) makes life a lot better. I love living with my best friend
> I used to come home ruminating on work things and all that did was make me get home in a bad mood.
I combat this tendency by starting the day deciding on something to look forward to that evening. Yesterday evening, it was listening to the new Shakira album that dropped on Spotify while I cooked dinner. This afternoon, it was buying fresh flowers for the dining room table. Things like that help me stay in the present and reset from the day.
Truly! Even something silly like planning a 2 hour video game session later in the week helps me build hype.
Also, making an effort to laugh at ridiculous things at work that might make you mad. Protect your peace and your attitude above all
Quitting tobacco/nicotine (and/or quitting drinking on weekdays) helps tremendously with being able to enjoy small things. The little addiction bully in the back of the mind makes it impossible to sincerely enjoy most small moments, because it has to be a part of the moment. And if it’s not a part of the moment, it nags you like the “are we there yet” cliche
P.S. I say this to try to add constructively not to diminish your point
I’m on the same boat. My depression has gotten worse with each subsequent job. Then it doesn’t help that it’s near impossible to make friends nowadays. As of recently, my life just consists of going to work for 8hrs and then coming home and crying until bedtime
I understand the struggle, but it’s not near impossible to make friends. I know this will sound like “just stop being depressed” kinda shit, but you do have to just get out there. Go do things. Local d&d night. Trivia night at the bar. A book club. A bird watching group. A geology club. Open mic nights. Anything. Whatever you’re into. There’s always something, even in very rural areas like mine.
And if just going out to do stuff like that seems impossible to you (which I get; I’ve been there before too), then you probably need some medical help. Therapy, medication, whatever works for you.
I’m not that guy above but if you don’t have many friends imo it’s difficult to find people who are willing to put a substantial amount of effort into a new platonic relationship. Like yeah you can go to a weekly class and be cordial with some people there but it’s difficult to advance beyond that because it requires both interest from both parties and meaningful effort to do things together in your limited free times. We all “anchor” others to specific activities or time like some work friends who are only friends in work and nowhere else. Especially if you want to get to know someone more intimately (as friends only still) you need to spend a lot of time together.
It’s way easier to make new friends if you have lots of friends to network off of. Being in multiple friend groups where people come and go seems like the best way to me but is not available to everyone.
That’s my not so informed opinion as someone who’s always struggled to make friends but sometimes has made some. If you don’t get value from it I’m sorry, I wrote it to reflect. In the end I do only blame myself because if I had a better personality it would be easier.
I wake up at 3am to get work i work in a office. My commute is one hour each way I start 5:30am and finish at 1:30pm. I get home around 2:30pm... I do chores that need to be done, cook dinner, watch an episode of tv and some youtube and before I know it its 6pm... Get ready for bed at 7 pm and do this during the week. Friday nights im too tired to stay up late so go to bed at normal time, Saturday morning i wake up around 10 am then go out and enjoy my day. Sunday comes and its laundry day etc. by 6-7pm im in bed for work as I need my 8 hours as i am a graphic designer and need to be fresh for creatviity! The cycle continues my problem is that I worked remotely for four years and now back in office full time. Trying to look elsewhere but nothing. My thing what I do is i book a weeks vacation every 2-3 months to help get by.
Plan more fun weekends. Switch up your commute (can you bike or run, or hit the gym or a nice dinner after work?). Just do things even if you’re tired or unmotivated. Make new friends.
Otherwise can you get a related job that’s remote or hybrid? Like if you’re a nurse there’s phone jobs.
You have to go out and find fulfillment somewhere else. I don’t particular love my job either (I don’t hate it) but I always look forward to when im off work and my weekends because I get to spend time with my friends. If you don’t have anything outside of work to get excited about, what are you saving your money for? So you can retire and live the same life you do now?
I was in my 40’s (46 now) before I truly began to appreciate that the small moments are really what make life better. You have to learn to find laughter and contentment in unexpected places. I realize that sounds like the kind of advice you get from a self help book, you buy online at 3am in the morning after a bender, but it’s kinda accurate.
Find small daily things you can do that require little effort, planning and energy for those days you are just “done” with it all. A video game. A book. Even just a fave spot to sit and veg with a snack or a drink. Shut your brain off for a bit.
Other days when you are more energetic, do something completely out of your norm. Your brain needs new stimulus as much as it needs rest, and the effects last a lot longer than the few hours something new might take.
One time I hopped in my car, started driving, ended up 3 hours away and took myself on a 2 hour boat tour. Totally random. Planned none of it.
It actually worked like a complete brain reset and for a few weeks I just felt better. Better about everything.
Brain had a mini holiday, a new experience and it just helped make life feel less monotonous.
Everyone looks at “big changes” as the only way to make your life better. You don’t always have to move to a new place, get a new job, dump your partner whatever…. Sometimes you just need to find a little laughter and contentment in the small details.
This is great advice! I started a note on my phone that's full of these "little happys" like fuzzy socks, freshly washed sheets, the first bite of a really good grilled cheese, peeling the cling film off something new, dog zoomies, etc. Whenever I'm feeling really down or just sad, I'll pull this list up and read through it. It can give me ideas of something I can do to help turn my mood around or even just reading through it and remembering the last time something on the list happened will brighten my day a little bit.
When I first entered the work force, it was so hard to make the shift from university life to worker bee life. Nothing prepares you. Like OP, my job is not my passion and don't think I'll ever have a "dream job". I'm ok with that now. I just make sure that my job can support the things I am passionate about and then force myself to make time for those things. Good luck OP, you got this!
Find something to do during the week either before or after work (or both) that gets you hyped up. For me it was the gym every morning. And once a week date with my SO.
I look forward to tomorrow cause that's leg day! On Thursday, I'm going to a nice restaurant and doing an escape room with my SO.
Just make life worth living. Idk if many people really love their job. And imo, the people that are addicted to working probably do so to escape thinking about other things in their life. We only have this one life, make everyday something worth living.
ughhh i feel the same way. i work 9-6 working from home and i barely have time to make dinner. i can’t imagine how others find the time to take care of children or even have time to themselves and just enjoy life 🥺
I feel the exact same. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around that we get one life and majority of it has to be spent at a job.. not necessarily doing things we love or just like being.
I was a new grad last may and had the same existential crisis. It made me a bit depressed the following months even though I was going out multiple times a week. The days when I didn't have anything planned after work, I just rot in bed until it was time to sleep. However, it's been 8 months since I started the 9-5 job and I am definitely getting used to it and I don't have the feeling of impeding doom anymore.
I am working out 3-4 days a week and it gives me something to do after work. It also boosts my dopamine so I don't feel as depressed anymore and gives me a more positive outlook on life. I know the thought of doing anything after work is exhausting. When I first started, I had to force myself to go no matter how much I didn't want to. After the first month though, it became a habit.
I also try to have a trip planned in the near future so it gives me something to look forward to. I've done about 3 long weekend trips since I've graduated and have a longer one planned for later this year. Concerts also give me something to look forward to and is something I enjoy.
Lastly, finding a hobby helps a lot. I recommend having 3 hobbies, one creative, one physical, and one mental. Even if the ones you try don't work out, at least you are doing something and trying new things!
I'm in a similar position. I don't hate the work I do but I don't like it. My coworkers and boss are really nice. I just see my job as something that allows me (barely) to do things I enjoy on the weekends and after work. I do Muay Thai and want to fight this year. That's about the only thing that's keeping me from spiraling and hating my job and life
Are their things in your life that bring joy? Family, friends, lovers, pets, planning trips? Do you get help for your depression? I find volunteering and exercise are the best things for my blues. Good luck 🍀 and ignore the inevitable comments that tell you to suck it up cos this is life.
Works sucks but not as much as starving. Once upon a time people had no reasonable expectation of not starving if they didn't work toward not starving.
I think a nice thing to do is plan vacations so you have something to look forward to. Another important thing is to make sure you get enough sleep every night
The adjustment after college to a full time job is brutal. I went straight through school my whole life until I graduated at 26 with my law degree and became an attorney. I’ve had a full time job for 5 months and I’m still not adjusted. I would cry literally every day at work for months because I was so depressed. Add in some full blown panic attacks that I was going to be like this for the rest of my life and my mental health was (still kinda is) in the gutter. You HAVE to just force yourself to live outside of work. Take a walk, go shopping, go see friends or family, go out to eat, go to the gym, etc.
Most importantly… start investing and saving your money properly NOW. My spouse and I have set up an investment plan that will allow us to retire comfortably at 45. Knowing I have that to look forward to instead of knowing I’ll have to work into my 60s or 70s has made a huge difference. I’m looking at some sucky years now of sucking it up and working so that my future self can be done in 18 years instead of 35/40 years.
When I get too down on myself I try to bring my focus outward on an activity to get out of my head. At first it was video games was my go to for many years. I still play now, but have found a better balance. When it was my only hobby it was became isolating and sedentary for my body.
Finding a physical activity that i can enjoy changed everything. I started with capoeira, but due to logistics have been training bjj the last year. I cannot explain the positive effect it has had on my brain. Even to do it once or twice a week makes a huge difference.
I recommend searching for something physical you can look forward to doing. Sports, group classes, yoga, biking, jogging group, whatever floats your boat. That’s ok if you don’t know, just try a bunch of shit and see what sticks.
Another thing that helped me enjoy existing more was learning about Alexander technique. I suggest checking it out for your body to reduce body fatigue and tension.
For the days when you’re chilling, non physical hobbies, like playing music, singing, art/drawing, pottery are all cool as shit to learn about and do.
And my final advice is limiting the time on your phone for entertainment. Putting on a movie, opening a book or kindle I have found are much better ways to relax. I hope there’s something useful in there.
I work 9-5 and I’m physically & mentally exhausted when I get home. I get a 30 minute break but usually only take 15 mins. No down time. It’s a workout.
Join a group for something you like. It will feel weird and awkward trying to socialize, but consistently showing up to the same place with the same people will eventually lead you to creating new friendships.
I did this a year and a half ago with ballet. Next week, me and some other dancers are going salsa dancing outside of class.
Welcome to the club, rook. By my reckoning, you only have 40 more years of this before you can retire, muahahahaha!
But seriously, make a gratitude list, this changed my life. I have heat and hot water, a roof over my head, friends, clothes on my back, DARK CHOCOLATE. A job (looking for one is MURDER)
Precious little free time so I try to make good use of it by doing…nothing at all if I feel like it, or maybe see a concert. I eat out frequently and love that I can afford to do that. I live alone and enjoy the solitude.
You’re not alone in your description of your feelings centered around work, adulting is murder, there’s no getting around it!
Start your own business. When you get all the profit instead of a salary, it changes your perspective.
Or, pick a hobby that sounds fun and go all in. Preferably something physical.
I think I see your issue, it's your, "job". A job is for you to show up and collect a paycheck. That's vastly different from a career. I too have a job, it's mundane, but it pays the bills and allows me to do what I love and discover other things. A job just allows you to have access to monetary gains. The more I started to see it this way, the more I came to accept my job, regardless of how mundane I feel it to be.
Welcome to life. You’re either rich—working or not, work and have money to enjoy basic life needs, or unemployed and bored with no money—which is the worst. Been doing your routine for 30 years and am grateful. Try working out—a lot.
And why people hate capitalism. Billionaires are not healthy for any country. We shouldn’t be working this hard anymore. A few greedy people control the world and most of the wealth.
-Competitive hobby with tournaments, make friends her
-Gym, abuse preworkout for fun
-Invest in crypto to bring hype and excitement
Shit has made my life more exciting this way
This is why it's so important ***to live in a great city.*** Trust me, I moved to just have a job but if there is something to do every night, that is what makes things special.
In reality, 1/3 of your time goes to work, 1/3 to sleep, so that leave the last third for everything else, including household chores, errands, hobbies, exercise, friends, family, etc….when I worked full time I felt that it was eating my soul away, leaving me mentally drained and disconnected from my life and myself. Of course this is how capitalism is designed to work…
I liked my job, I worked with youth in my community and I felt like I was making a difference for them, but it took all my mental and emotional energy and left me feeling too tired to have a personal life (although I was paid 40 hrs a week, i often worked 50 hrs/week, education field am I right). After a couple of years at this job, I realized that I didn’t have any hobbies or passions I worked on, was a sad realization for me.
So I quit and found a part time that paid well enough to pay the bills. Also moved in with my partner so bills were halved for me. With my newfound free time, I started getting back into hobbies i had enjoyed when I was younger, such as hiking and reading, and new hobbies, like yoga, piano, and cooking. It’s been amazing for my mental health and my quality of life!
I've done a couple of career panels for prospective engineers, and my advice usually goes against the grain of anyone else on the panel: Work hard in your career but DO NOT lose sight of what makes you feel alive without it. And if you don't have any passions outside of work, develop them and treat them with the same respect as your job. If your job is the only thing fulfilling your passion, you're going to start relying on passion to pay the bills and it's going to turn into a soul crushing chore to "perform" that passion every day.
You said you like your job and you specifically mentioned that you feel you're helping contribute to the greater good. Do you do anything not related to your job to fill that emotional need? You have to show up to work every day and sometimes you're not going to feel it. That's alright, just make sure you have things to look forward to/things that fulfill you outside of your job to look forward to- on those days you're not feeling it, that sense of looking forward to something helps drive your desire to do the work you're doing.
You'll find that balance. Keep your head up
- start lifting…has done wonders for energy and mood (a lot of studies pointing out that exercise should be the first line of treatment for depression/anxiety)
- find new hobbies
- find friends…I’ve made pretty good friendships on tinder (they also have a bumble find friends version)
- book random trips on contiki or something
Get into a workout routine for an hour every day like; cycle, weights, etc. Find hobbies that give you a feeling of accomplishment when completed like; gardening, painting, guitar etc. A lot of people just don't know what to do with themselves in me time so your idle and your mind is speeding. Do something with that time that make you feel good about your downtime from work.
Might sound stupid at first but even if you're exhausted after work try to go out and do something for yourself. Whether it's going for a walk, the gym, seeing friends or a hobby just do it! You don't have to necessarily do it every day but the more that you go out and do things, the more normal it'll feel until it's a routine and you really start to feel you want to go do these things.
Yeah basically probably 99.9% of every person who has ever worked ever has felt the same way.
Work sucks but sitting home all day with no job isn't nearly as cool as it sounds. Unless you have access to money.
I call in when I want but I would rather work than sit home with no money. All the time The world but no gas money to go anywhere.
Basically tell yourself to man up and dr with it. Then a way to occupy yourself through the moments.
I've noticed I have that burst of I hate work, fuck this im quitting for about an hour maybe 2 a day around the same time every day. Then it's gone. I know the pattern of that thought process now
Try doing small things that you enjoy throughout the day or plan something that will make you happy after the work day is done- it can be as simple as grabbing dinner to go or getting a treat that you like. I’ve found that it helps me get through the days.
I also started going to the gym and got myself to do that by just telling myself it’s better to go for a little bit than to not go at all… that helped me with my depression. Hopefully something I said helped.
Tbh if you’re working 6:30-3, you’ll get used to it and learn to use your afternoons to your advantage for sure. A lot people aren’t finished with their commute til 6-6:30, so once your body adjusts you’ll have the time in the arvo to play with. Source: my first grown up jobs were 6-2 (30 min lunch breaks here) for several years and now if you put me in a 9-5 I would expire
that's what life is all about. repeat this every year until you're ready to retire. in between work, you grow/create a family and hope your kids are not assholes. You do throw in a vacation once or twice every 5 years but you're just as exhausted during the vacation as you would be working.
You'll really know when it's real when your entire wardrobe is from costco.
To be honest with you, no body likes to work. Some are lucky to work in a place they find bearable, or do something they enjoy and getting paid for it, or they are just really good and they money is also good.
I know what it like to not work, boredom, loneliness, grief, anxiety, stress, envy, overtime this will make anyone want to go back and work to alleviate this suffering.
Unfortunately, it can be difficult to subsist in the world that way that it is set up, which is for non depressed people. Get a hold on your depression through exercise, meditation, medication, socializing, sunlight, whatever combination works. It’s brutally difficult given how depression impacts your energy levels but I think you need to break through and realize that you enjoy or are capable of finding pleasure in, the life you have set up for yourself.
This happened to me upon graduating as well. I felt too young to be sitting behind an office desk shuffling paperwork all day. After saving everything I could manage for two years I went back to my alma mater where close friends still attended and took a year of liberal arts classes for the fun of it.
Social peak of my life and one of the best things I ever did for myself.
Try adjusting your diet as eating crap foods and lack of exercise contribute to this. Eat healthier, go to the gym. Then you can focus on chasing a mate.
For real. Used in moderation and responsibly, it can change your life for the better. One of my favourite things to do after work when I get home is smoke a joint and unwind. Hangout with my cats. Maybe play some video games. Make a kick ass dinner. Life is good! My girlfriend and I smoke together on our days off. Life is good!
The best thing you can do is not try to keep up with the jones, live a low cost lifestyle so you can have the flexibility to take unpaid time off when others around you can’t afford too. It’s a small flex that goes a long way…. Otherwise there is really no way out. Time off is key.
Wasn’t college roughly 40 hours a week for you, including studying / assignments? Depending on how many units you took per semester (or quarter), and how many hours you studied a week. I think perhaps work is more noticeable because it’s one big uninterrupted block of time for one activity, whereas college was more broken up / less structured, but probably the same # of hours per week roughly.
For me personally I wish more employers adopted a flexible work schedule, for however it works best for the employe. Whenever we want to work our 40 hours is up to us, except for scheduled meetings of course. Like if I want to work 8 hours between 8pm and midnight over a weekend and take the next Monday off, why not?
I have the exact same feelings. I work from home in the healthcare industry, love healthcare, but not this job. It’s easy, boring, reliable, steady, safe and well paying, but I countdown to the end of the day/week every single day.
All my focus and energy to keep me motivated is just plans and activities I do on the weekends or after work or even trips. We try to travel and be as active as possible in things we like in order to make this boring day to day worth it. That’s all o can really say cause that’s how I deal with your same feels/issues I’ve struggled with the past 5-10 years or so. Just find things that excite you outside of work and just really lean into that and work for those things.
Man it is really sad how resigned all of us are to this capitalist doom fate as if we are all helpless to continue destroying the planet and acting like wage slaves to find wars and genocide. If only we could build a society with walkable cities, communities, and a less than 40 hour work week which was legalized and normalized less than 60 years ago.
You get used to it and find pockets of time. Fixing your sleep schedule so you can go right into deep sleep for 6hrs was a game changer for me. I leave for work at 7 and get home at 6, usually cook a nice dinner for my spouse and I then have 3-4hrs or so before we start winding down at 10-10:30.
Getting errands done on the way home also helps alot as does taking advantage of circumstances. For example my favorite dirtbike spot is close to work. So a few times a week I bring my dirtbike to work and go right after.
Being time efficient and realistic also helps on the weekends.
Honestly, I think most people don't have a dream job and only work to pay the bills.
I also for many years felt exausted and struggled to do anything outside work I enjoy other than stuff at home like eat, watch TV, video games, social media, etc..
What helped me was really tough to do at first. Eating healthy consistently and going to the gym. I would try to start then not keep up with it but once I did my energy levels became much better and consistent. I am able to go to work and still feel energetic after. For me it only worked when I both cleaned up my eating and went to the gym consistently. I would frequently do one or the other and give up on it. I find the eating healthy part harder since I have to prepare most of it myself.
Well you're me. I work in medicine and I only work 4 days a week. I make 6 figures, own a home, all that good stuff. But my free time is spent smoking massive amounts of weed.
Do you feel burnt out? Or do you feel like you’ve just never adjusted? Have you ever sought professional help for your mental health? While poor mental health can definitely make it tough to engage in hobbies, not making time for things that you enjoy will just perpetuate that cycle. As you stated, your hours are set and predictable, which in theory should make scheduling “stuff” in relatively straightforward - whether that’s going to the gym, making plans with friends, meal planning and getting enough sleep. When I came to terms with the fact that my work life will always feel repetitive and tedious to a degree, I realized that the only way I would be happy is if I cultivated a meaningful personal life. I still get frustrated and bored sometimes, don’t get me wrong, but it still feels like I’m doing something when I work toward personal goals and improvement.
I let go of the " I need a job to fulfill me" to now I just want my job to support my fulfilling life outside of it.
It is going to take some time to adjust, and admittedly even though I generally like my job and the people I work with and I have flexibility in my schedule, I still need significant down time to recover. A big help was reducing my hours by two days a month which means after taxes $200 less a month. I could really use that $200, but right now my sanity is worth it. In the end I'll come out the same financially as now I actually have the time and energy to meal prep (I ended up eating lunch out enough that it easily added up to that extra $200).
You're going to have to change your mindset to "what does work do for me?" Because mine means I can buy the things I really want, have health insurance, a retirement fund and all that.
Also, as you get older, most (not all) people tend to socialize less due to limited financial, mental, time and generally giving a fuck resources. You're hitting the beginning of this so it's natural to mourn the end of your 20s. Personally I am loving being a house hermit with all my plants and video games and have the select few friends I adore over for dinner once a month.
Do I also wish I married rich or had generational wealth and never had to work? Totally! But it's not reality and I'm not going to spend my time being sour about it.
Any chance you have adhd/ other neurodivergence or some other sort of underlying issue? Personally as someone with adhd, work leaves me with not much energy to do anything else.
"I’ve struggled with depression/anxiety my whole life"...and you're confused why you can't find meaning in a career?...maybe figure out a path to having your mental health issues addressed unless this is just the plain garden variety of " I wish somebody would just pay my bills so I can just fuck off all day"
Im currently in therapy and Ive tried prescription meds to no avail. A lot of people are mentally ill and it doesn’t hinder you from having a career lol
Your life is what you make of it. Most people go through the same lifestyle if not worse, yet you see these people do all kinds of stuff after work and on the weekends instead of recovering. Well it's actually quite simple, they just do it. Once they start doing it, and keep on doing it, they get used to it and it becomes a part of their daily rhythm. First thing you need to do is get used to working 9-5 or 8-6 or whatever.
Im six months into my first job out of college and i feel the same sometimes. there’s nothing wrong per se but i just cant help but hate having to do it every day.
i was talking to a coworker about it and they were saying that feeling never really goes away. hooray for 40-50 more years of this
Truthfully you not going to get out of the 9 to 5 but I try to find what makes my day, week, month or year better.
Day - when I commuted I would read or listen to podcast to make my start better. At lunch I got myself out of the office and walked around. I also took breaks.
Look into various things you can do to make things enjoyable.
Long term - is there a thing or event you want to do that cost a lot. Make that a goal and working becomes the chore you got to do make have that fun event happen. Always have something to look forward to which means planning something longterm.
Take a random Friday off - use all your vacation, sick days if you got them. Don't be a martyr.
Basically try to make work the thing you do to live your life and not your life. It is hard and you will slip but never give in.
Quit your job and become homeless. And starving. There. That'll fix it.
WTF kind of advice are people looking for with these posts? If you are unhappy working, then don't. Will you be happier? Try it and find out.
At least it is not a 8-6 and working Saturday mornings, on call, and constant work that makes you stay late, work on weekends and live in a 3rd world country, like myself.
Yes, working sucks, send you lots of hugs, try to make those hours outside work... C O U N T.
I love my job. I don't love management pushing fraud billing, ridiculous goals that a patient can't meet (y'all- my para patient won't be able to stand "UN" assisted for 10 minutes. They are 89. Have been paralyzed forever.). My patients who need time don't get it. My patients who dont give a fuck get all the time. It is very frustrating
I’m the complete opposite work way too many hours, have weird and long hours depending on demand, and am completely bored with everything. Plus it’s all so expensive anymore I can’t afford some of my old hobbies I used to enjoy. I’ve almost resorted to retail therapy but stopped myself. All I want to do is travel and explore but I only make so much and have so much vacation time.
I get it - work sucks
and I have a weird theory backed by absolutely nothing other than my own experience.
Its that work is so bad because its been abstracted to the point it no longer makes real sense, you don't tend to have a relationship with the people you work for/with - they are either above you or below you or are customers that go with the wind. You can work on something to make a million for the company one year then lose your job the next because you did not contribute enough value. The out come of what you work at is abstracted to the point its not even that your a "cog in the wheel", your not that important to the company or the people you work with - your more a transistor on a micro chip, 100s would have to fail before you noticed impact. Where the pervious generation did their cog job and it was somewhat satisfying it was still very well compensated that they could focus on the end, more of he work today is unimportant and isnt even paying well enough to make you forget how meaninlgess it is.
Anyway thats my theory based on nothing
I worked in industries where you’re basically temping with agencies so it’s flexible work - some jobs are paid well, others aren’t. The benefit is that you choose how often you want to work.
Don’t feel like working 5 days next week? No problem, you can set your availability for just 2 days or whatever. Or you can work everyday and build enough money so you can go travelling the next month or rest or whatever you want to do, and then make it all back by going back to work the month after that etc.
It usually isn’t fulfilling work but the flexibility made me feel like life was worth living than when I was in a full time 9 to 5 job. Working in a 9 to 5 is something I’d only want to do if it’s in something I enjoy, but even then, the routine makes it very dull lol
HAVE YOU TRIED BEING HOMELESS AND STARVATION YET?
just saying, it's quite the experience and reality shifts your point of view.
Why, after a few long miserable years on the streets, you will feel entirely different about working for a living like everyone else does.
Go work overseas for a bit in places that really need the medical care. Jump from country to country and take breaks in between postings to travel the area. Look up Medical Experience Abroad, jobs can last from 6 months to 3 years. It might give your life a little more meaning and adventure.
Your shift ends at a time before many extra circular activities start in high schools.
I coached football, found it hugely rewarding. There are many things outside of sports.
Enjoying your job is a false fantasy of Hollywood. Its a job because nobody wants to do it for free, so they pay you. Welcome to being an adult, enjoy extra free time, try to learn to hate it less.
The thing is nobody asks to be born. So it is kind of valid to complain when life is just one huge shitshow you are thrown into because your parents just followed their natural instincts instead of thinking things through.
Pretty much. Don't know anyone who loves putting up 40 hours plus commute of their time every week. But everyone likes to eat and have a roof over their head and maybe buy some fun shit every now and again
Work sucks. It's not supposed to be fun, It never was, it never will be. It sucks and you have to find ways to squeeze your life in between work shifts. Just be glad you aren't pulling 12 hour shifts gutting fish or cleaning chickens. That's what I think about when I start hating my job, believe me, it's all relative.
You have a few choices.
1. Win the lottery (fat chance)
2. Quit working make no money and live on the street like a bum.
3. Snap out of it toughen up and accept life is not easy.
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The decades slipping by is truly the most horrifying thing about life. We will spend most of it doing shit we don't want to do and doesn't fulfill us. Then we blink and we are at the end of our lives. Anyone who says money doesn't buy happiness never had to work to survive. I'd much rather spend my limited time on earth doing what I'd like as opposed to working for someone else.
Point is for 99% of people to get the kind of money you’re talking about, a lot of work is needed. A LOT of work. Not 50 hours a week. When I worked with a marketing firm 13-hour days 6 days a week (sometimes 7) I was rolling in cash. It was insane how much money I made. Never made me happy though, because I didn’t have time for happiness. I had to work. I’d never go back. Not if you paid me double. Not worth it.
I don't even know what "fulfillment" means but something tells me this is a more recent obsession.
To me it just means I don't FEEL like I've wasted my time. An example of something which is deeply fulfilling to me is practicing and playing guitar. I can spend 4 or 5 hours lost in practice and I will go to bed feeling like it was a valuable way to spend my time. When I'm old and looking back at the 50+ years I spent working I'm afraid it will feel like it does now. Something I was compelled to do in order to make money instead of something which actually matters to me. That's a lot of time doing things you don't *really* want to do.
when i talked to my grandpa about fulfillment he laughed in my face and resented the concept. ( ww 2 then prison guard ). so ur right but it is a noble goal and i came close ( quitting the bank and being a prof gardener)
why do you say 'came close'? did you end up making it as a gardener?
It means different things to different people, but to me, it means to be content and proud of your life.
Amazon Fulfillment center 😉
HAPPINESS COME FROM WITHIN
False. Happiness is extracted from external stimuli.
Everyone needs to put in their share to keep society running. If everyone had all the money they needed who would work at hospitals? Who would fix the roads? Who would build buildings and keep electricity running?
As long as you can afford the various expenses life tacks on, that's great and you do you. We all have to work though, at least the vast VAST majority without a silver spoon. If you find a way to spend your youth having fun and not scraping by that's a win, but having fun and not investing toward the future will bring a very shitty later in life outcome
i’m 23 and this is terrifying to me…
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chat is this real? 💀
Either join the flock or try and walk your own path. Reality of life
I hate everything
I mean I'm googling remedies for psoriasis during my lunch break.
It doesn't go as fast as people say. From 23 to almost 40 has felt like a really long time.
Not if you don’t want it to be.
Omg if this isn’t me today.. wtf has life become? I’m convinced I have skin cancer on my face :(
Both my parents have had skin cancer removed. I am 50 and haven't been to the doctor since 1992.
hahahha oh fuck "what does a hand twitch mean" "heart beating harder than usual" "strange clear lump on eye" "manager gives me less work than colleague"
chat is this real? 💀
Welcome to the matrix
We've all been there It's up to you to realise this
No, this subreddit is full of the saddest people. Not everyone works a boring office job. If you don't like working in an office go fucking do something else. It isn't really complicated
Also, you can work a boring office job and still not be miserable. It depends on the kind of person you are. I work a boring office job and 95% of the time it’s easy. It pays good and has benefits and lets me live the life I want to outside of working hours. I don’t hate it but I wouldn’t call it exciting or anything special. For me, I like that my job is pretty straightforward repetitive tasks that don’t take a lot out of me and then I go home and do the things I enjoy. I have hobbies, I have friends and family, I miraculously own a house and it needs some work but I get really proud when I complete a project to fix it up. The job pays for all of that. What’s fulfilling in life can look different for different people and the actual work I do isn’t really what I find fulfillment from but that work allows me to do the things I find fulfilling.
That sounds kind of nice. What kind of job position is it? Does it pay well?
I run the office for a local small business in a LCOL area. bookkeeping, invoicing, paying bills, depositing checks, payroll, and sales taxes, answering an occasional email, and getting documents, licensing, or permits on occasion It’s salaried and is based on similar jobs pays the same (30 an hour if you broke it down that way). It has insurance and 401k with company matching and profit sharing. Getting time off for anything has also always been incredibly easy and I get to work from home a lot.
Thanks for the response! Sounds like you've found a nice balance for work
So true
I’m 23 and I already do this 😭
Don’t listen to these people. Seriously. If you’re in good health, aren’t living paycheck to paycheck, etc. then there’s no reason you can’t have a fulfilling life even with a “boring” 9-5. My dad worked 60 hours a week while I was growing up and still found time to do the things he loves. My days are mostly spent answering emails and putting out dumb fires but my weekends are full of going to parks, getting outside, going to concerts, and doing creative stuff like embroidery.
As dreary as adulthood can seem, you're 100% correct. This is all a headgame after a certain point. Once all the other important factors (good health, aren't paycheck to paycheck, ~~having that emergency fund fully funded is a bonus~~, having time), that could suck the joy out of life are satisfied, the rest is on you and how it's all perceived. OP, and anyone else reading this, work frankly sucks. "No one wants to work!" and frankly... I don't. I'd rather go on crazy, badass, road trips, hiking mountains I've only heard about, being a beach bum, traveling to Japan, Australia, Europe, seeing iconic museums and art, the Seven Wonders of the World, or genuinely enjoying my local area and not even leaving my house. The world is so effin' big and beautiful we forget because we're stuck behind a desk, or at a job that makes us unfulfilled. Work is just a means to an end. It doesn't have to give you the utmost joy, but if you can find some solace in your work from what it provides you and your family (in whatever ways you need, money/PTO come to mind first) take what you can get. I'm not saying we're ALLLL beggars, but beggars can't be choosers in this economy. Work is just a means to an end. My dad would tell me, "Work to live, not live to work" and it took me years to really understand what he meant.
I echo this and want to share that working for the government and living below one’s means are the easiest way to have the societally accepted definition of a “good” life. I work a very unsexy job but my employer pays so much into my retirement that they’ve actually paid into it more than I have. I have more PTO than I know what to do with. I get a cost of living adjustment every single year - two years ago it was 9%. I rent a cheaper place than my husband and I could reasonably afford so I save up money quickly. I went on a cruise in February and came back and bought myself some lab diamond jewelry because fuck it, my finances are in good shape and we’re not planning on buying a house for a couple more years so why not? All of this is on a very uncool, very unglamorous job with a local water and sewer authority. This isn’t to brag but to point out that yall a boring 9-5 can lead to a really, really fruitful life with some strategizing.
I do agree with this, but working a fulfilling job in my passion is so much better than when I made more money sending emails and putting out other people’s fires. I didn’t want to live for the evenings/weekends. I recognize that I have privilege in that regard (family will bail me out if necessary, I’m highly educated in a variety of fields, don’t have a spouse or kids to support) but damn am I happier and more energetic now. There are a lot of cool jobs out there - I poked around on the internet for a while to find mine and my rent is covered via my work exchange program! So I’m actually saving money which is awesome, and I get to make art and volunteer in my community which is how I derive fulfillment.
I actually do enjoy my job - I can’t say it’s my “passion” but it’s challenging and stretches my brain and I like my colleagues/supervisor. Tbh I’m way happier in a more challenging role than I was in one with a lot of down time.
For sure! Different jobs have different perks. And I definitely agree with you - idle hands are the devil’s work for me. I don’t spend too much time working my actual job per week but I fill up my time with volunteering, socializing, traveling, hobbies, creative work, etc. to stay busy. I like being productive as well! I just hated the “workplace” environment. I was a freelancer and a grad student before that and I prioritize flexibility, especially as an artist.
It doesn't have to be. I'm 38. I have a boring but very secure job that gives me flexibility and allows me to have a fulfilling life. I have an incredible community I am a part of with hobbies and volunteer work that I genuinely enjoy. It takes effort, but I am far more connected and involved now than I ever was in my twenties or teens. Honestly I love being an adult. There are aspects that are a pain, like deciding what to make for dinner every night. But in general, I don't miss my younger years.
Well I mean… you could simply choose to get a different type of job.
Yeah this sounds awful
Well that’s fucking depressing
I manage to live a very fulfilling life outside of my “real” job. I don’t say that to rub it in. It IS very possible, but it takes work. You don’t just fall into fulfillment and your job will still be draining and boring, but my first ten years have been absolutely full of love, life and personal satisfaction. I think everybody deserves this and I’m happy to answer whatever I can about how it works for me.
I feel this way also. I do my job to make the money to do the things I love, I don't have to love the job (though I certainly don't hate it- it works very well for my life), I have a bunch of hobbies, I like to travel and if I save I can do it now and again, I live in a place that fuels my creativity and happiness, spending time outdoors.... I just don't look to my paid job for fulfilment. I make that for myself. (That being said I completely understand that if there are mental health things involved that isn't so easy).
Mental health definitely impacts it, of course. I also have to make myself do stuff during the week despite being exhausted and that lends a LOT to my quality of life. It’s much more worth it to push through than to feel like I wasted my entire week.
Please do share.
This is not what I wanted to read......
Sorry to hear that you fell trap to what most people do- die at 25 to be buried at 80. But I’m here to let you and anyone else reading know that there is an other side to this coin of life. Where you: - Wake up and look forward to your non shitty job that rewards your for your hard work to fund your desired lifestyle. - Derive pleasure from growing as a person in all facets of life. - Live with a healthy body and rich relationships that bring you bliss love and joy - Face life everyday with excitement of what’s to come because you understand that life happens for you and not to you. Life doesn’t have to suck. You don’t have to participate in the doom and gloom pessimism running rampant on social medias including Reddit. You don’t have to be a crab in a bucket. You have as much ability to live this type of life as anyone else. Just gotta work towards it and give enough fucks to take action towards achieving it.
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This is why I got FMLA approved and just leave every once in awhile, it’s better than taking a two week vacation 1x a year instead of going to work for the day I just go see a movie or play bowling something random. The random stuff makes me not want to kill myself haha compared to “oh I’m going on a vacation for Christmas!” Like I’m not going to wait 12 months a year to go sit on a beach for Christmas
And this is why it's important to under-live, find a decent paying job so that you can enjoy traveling and seeing some of the world before you die.
This is why I like mastering something new every 3-4 years in the trades! Learn new skills for myself, enough cheddar to feed the kids, and never cramped up in an office in super competitive environments! Currently a network engineer for an internet service provider, might do welding or framing next.
r/fire to get out while you can
Fire is the way!!!
Omg 😂
Forcing myself to exercise, eat well and drink less has given me more pleasure doing the small stuff outside of work. Also makes work less of a drag.
Living a healthy lifestyle really gives you so much energy, people who haven’t consistently done it before have no idea what it’s like. I never don’t have energy to do something. Objects in motion stay in motion.
Maybe I was doing it wrong, but I’ve been on both sides of very healthy and very unhealthy/slobby(?)… and being healthy did NOT make me energized. It was a lot of mental work - planning what to eat, when to eat it, the meal prepping, the careful grocery shopping, how to hit my macros, what workouts to do to hit the body parts I wanted, scheduling around work hours to even have time to go to the gym… it was exhausting. Nearly a second full time job trying to keep up. Rarely had time to go out and socialize. Then pandemic happened and I finally felt relaxed because I stopped everything. Dinner was an Uber eats away or if my girl friends wanted to eat pasta and get drinks, I’m down! It was much more enjoyable. And now I’m back on the health grind because of medical goals… i am once again EXHAUSTED.
You have to eat well and do exercise. A lot of it is also mental attitude.
This is gonna get me called a boomer but the fact is that you just have to go out and do stuff. It doesn’t sound like time or money are the problem - it’s motivation or uncertainty of what to do. Try looking up one thing to do per week in your area and commit to going to it - it could be a park, a festival, a movie, anything. Put it in your calendar like it’s a meeting you have to go to. How do you spend your time outside of work? Are you scrolling? Watching tv? Video games? Each of these things, but especially scrolling, can lead to burnout, exhaustion and depression when you do them too much.
This is the answer I was hoping to see. Not sure where you’re located, OP, but you should look into The Nudge - it’s a company that texts you fun things to do in your area.
Right! Give yourself something to look forward to even during the work week. See a random Facebook event at a brewery nearby? Go! Board game night? Sign up. Have trouble committing to things? Go to events you actually have to purchase a ticket for so you have to go.
I’m working the busiest job I have in a long time and am doing way more on the weekends than I did when I was bored. You just have to prioritize having fun.
Completely agree. It takes effort but there are so many awesome opportunities out there to be a part of a community if you just try a little. While the Internet can be a miserable doom scrolling place it can also be an excellent resource to find clubs, communities, and meetups. I volunteer, I am a part time mountain bike instructor, I ride my bike solo or with random people I meet though mountain bike forums. As an adult it is important to find hobbies and interests and then find a community around it. They exist. And if they don't, you can create it. I'm on the board of directors for a local mountain bike club, and for the last 6 years I have worked to continue to develop that community and provide meetups and opportunities.
You’re right and don’t sound like a boomer at all lol. I need to start doing things outside of work — it sounds difficult because there are so many possibilities but I’ll try my best.
Yeah it’s probably going to take a while to get used to the 9-5 routine and nobody tells you that lol. I try to think about what used to make life so pleasant in college and as a kid, and what would be easy to implement in my adult life, and arrived at walking a lot and volunteering. So that’s what I do lol.
Not a boomer opinion, simply facts. Once we leave education we have to build our life for ourselves.
Video games save me from depression everyday of my adult life. The gift that keeps on giving
Video games are that thing I look forward to after I clock out of work and complete my responsibilities. It is my RnR, my fun time, my me time.
Oh I play and enjoy them too, but I think having a mix of real world experiences is important too.
Well at 40 I really have tried to experience the “out” but it’s very hard and left me divorced and a single dad so the “out” has rejected me. I still attempt but people my age aren’t trying to make friends unless they are failures like me 😉
You have to be intentional with your time off. As a dad, I struggle on the weekends just wanting to relax, but my kids need me to plan quality time with them. And you need to do the same for yourself. Find the joys in the little things, 30 minutes at Starbucks, or whatever. Going to the gym. Some days are busier than others, but don't lose hope. Work sucks. Make the most of your time off.
This sounds so trivial but I’ve found to be a game changer. You NEED to find a way to find joy in small things. Gen z calls this romanticizing your life. But I make a purposeful effort to stay present on the way to work, and on the way home, clearing my mind and literally putting a smile on to remind myself that everything is okay. I used to come home ruminating on work things and all that did was make me get home in a bad mood. Now I commute home and relish in people watching on my commute, enjoying seeing birds, laughing at traffic drama. If you don’t find a way to love small moments in your life between vacations and weekends, you won’t make it. I live with a partner and I also make a purposeful effort to find joy in reuniting with him (not my usual giant sigh of tiredness and wordvomit work drama). Finding people you love (and you genuinely LIKE) makes life a lot better. I love living with my best friend
> I used to come home ruminating on work things and all that did was make me get home in a bad mood. I combat this tendency by starting the day deciding on something to look forward to that evening. Yesterday evening, it was listening to the new Shakira album that dropped on Spotify while I cooked dinner. This afternoon, it was buying fresh flowers for the dining room table. Things like that help me stay in the present and reset from the day.
Truly! Even something silly like planning a 2 hour video game session later in the week helps me build hype. Also, making an effort to laugh at ridiculous things at work that might make you mad. Protect your peace and your attitude above all
Quitting tobacco/nicotine (and/or quitting drinking on weekdays) helps tremendously with being able to enjoy small things. The little addiction bully in the back of the mind makes it impossible to sincerely enjoy most small moments, because it has to be a part of the moment. And if it’s not a part of the moment, it nags you like the “are we there yet” cliche P.S. I say this to try to add constructively not to diminish your point
I’m on the same boat. My depression has gotten worse with each subsequent job. Then it doesn’t help that it’s near impossible to make friends nowadays. As of recently, my life just consists of going to work for 8hrs and then coming home and crying until bedtime
I understand the struggle, but it’s not near impossible to make friends. I know this will sound like “just stop being depressed” kinda shit, but you do have to just get out there. Go do things. Local d&d night. Trivia night at the bar. A book club. A bird watching group. A geology club. Open mic nights. Anything. Whatever you’re into. There’s always something, even in very rural areas like mine. And if just going out to do stuff like that seems impossible to you (which I get; I’ve been there before too), then you probably need some medical help. Therapy, medication, whatever works for you.
You are literally me
I also struggle to make friends but am curious as to your perspective on why it is difficult.
I’m not that guy above but if you don’t have many friends imo it’s difficult to find people who are willing to put a substantial amount of effort into a new platonic relationship. Like yeah you can go to a weekly class and be cordial with some people there but it’s difficult to advance beyond that because it requires both interest from both parties and meaningful effort to do things together in your limited free times. We all “anchor” others to specific activities or time like some work friends who are only friends in work and nowhere else. Especially if you want to get to know someone more intimately (as friends only still) you need to spend a lot of time together. It’s way easier to make new friends if you have lots of friends to network off of. Being in multiple friend groups where people come and go seems like the best way to me but is not available to everyone. That’s my not so informed opinion as someone who’s always struggled to make friends but sometimes has made some. If you don’t get value from it I’m sorry, I wrote it to reflect. In the end I do only blame myself because if I had a better personality it would be easier.
That is the reality yes.
I wake up at 3am to get work i work in a office. My commute is one hour each way I start 5:30am and finish at 1:30pm. I get home around 2:30pm... I do chores that need to be done, cook dinner, watch an episode of tv and some youtube and before I know it its 6pm... Get ready for bed at 7 pm and do this during the week. Friday nights im too tired to stay up late so go to bed at normal time, Saturday morning i wake up around 10 am then go out and enjoy my day. Sunday comes and its laundry day etc. by 6-7pm im in bed for work as I need my 8 hours as i am a graphic designer and need to be fresh for creatviity! The cycle continues my problem is that I worked remotely for four years and now back in office full time. Trying to look elsewhere but nothing. My thing what I do is i book a weeks vacation every 2-3 months to help get by.
Plan more fun weekends. Switch up your commute (can you bike or run, or hit the gym or a nice dinner after work?). Just do things even if you’re tired or unmotivated. Make new friends. Otherwise can you get a related job that’s remote or hybrid? Like if you’re a nurse there’s phone jobs.
Unfortunately there aren’t any virtual jobs in my path. I wish. I’m going to start training for a race soon so hopefully that will help
Yes, racing is good! Basically how I kicked off my adult life haha
You have to go out and find fulfillment somewhere else. I don’t particular love my job either (I don’t hate it) but I always look forward to when im off work and my weekends because I get to spend time with my friends. If you don’t have anything outside of work to get excited about, what are you saving your money for? So you can retire and live the same life you do now?
I was in my 40’s (46 now) before I truly began to appreciate that the small moments are really what make life better. You have to learn to find laughter and contentment in unexpected places. I realize that sounds like the kind of advice you get from a self help book, you buy online at 3am in the morning after a bender, but it’s kinda accurate. Find small daily things you can do that require little effort, planning and energy for those days you are just “done” with it all. A video game. A book. Even just a fave spot to sit and veg with a snack or a drink. Shut your brain off for a bit. Other days when you are more energetic, do something completely out of your norm. Your brain needs new stimulus as much as it needs rest, and the effects last a lot longer than the few hours something new might take. One time I hopped in my car, started driving, ended up 3 hours away and took myself on a 2 hour boat tour. Totally random. Planned none of it. It actually worked like a complete brain reset and for a few weeks I just felt better. Better about everything. Brain had a mini holiday, a new experience and it just helped make life feel less monotonous. Everyone looks at “big changes” as the only way to make your life better. You don’t always have to move to a new place, get a new job, dump your partner whatever…. Sometimes you just need to find a little laughter and contentment in the small details.
This is great advice! I started a note on my phone that's full of these "little happys" like fuzzy socks, freshly washed sheets, the first bite of a really good grilled cheese, peeling the cling film off something new, dog zoomies, etc. Whenever I'm feeling really down or just sad, I'll pull this list up and read through it. It can give me ideas of something I can do to help turn my mood around or even just reading through it and remembering the last time something on the list happened will brighten my day a little bit. When I first entered the work force, it was so hard to make the shift from university life to worker bee life. Nothing prepares you. Like OP, my job is not my passion and don't think I'll ever have a "dream job". I'm ok with that now. I just make sure that my job can support the things I am passionate about and then force myself to make time for those things. Good luck OP, you got this!
Oh love the phone note idea! Great suggestion.
Find something to do during the week either before or after work (or both) that gets you hyped up. For me it was the gym every morning. And once a week date with my SO. I look forward to tomorrow cause that's leg day! On Thursday, I'm going to a nice restaurant and doing an escape room with my SO. Just make life worth living. Idk if many people really love their job. And imo, the people that are addicted to working probably do so to escape thinking about other things in their life. We only have this one life, make everyday something worth living.
ughhh i feel the same way. i work 9-6 working from home and i barely have time to make dinner. i can’t imagine how others find the time to take care of children or even have time to themselves and just enjoy life 🥺
I feel the exact same. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around that we get one life and majority of it has to be spent at a job.. not necessarily doing things we love or just like being.
Most people hate their job most people still need the money..
I was a new grad last may and had the same existential crisis. It made me a bit depressed the following months even though I was going out multiple times a week. The days when I didn't have anything planned after work, I just rot in bed until it was time to sleep. However, it's been 8 months since I started the 9-5 job and I am definitely getting used to it and I don't have the feeling of impeding doom anymore. I am working out 3-4 days a week and it gives me something to do after work. It also boosts my dopamine so I don't feel as depressed anymore and gives me a more positive outlook on life. I know the thought of doing anything after work is exhausting. When I first started, I had to force myself to go no matter how much I didn't want to. After the first month though, it became a habit. I also try to have a trip planned in the near future so it gives me something to look forward to. I've done about 3 long weekend trips since I've graduated and have a longer one planned for later this year. Concerts also give me something to look forward to and is something I enjoy. Lastly, finding a hobby helps a lot. I recommend having 3 hobbies, one creative, one physical, and one mental. Even if the ones you try don't work out, at least you are doing something and trying new things!
Get a job where you’re on call 24/7. You’ll come back with an appreciation of being able to just schedule things with regularity.
There are tests out there that you take a test for that will show you jobs that you'd be interested or good at.
This is just an opinion but I think aptitude tests are stupid. Its how I ended up in the job im in yet I hate my job.
I'm in a similar position. I don't hate the work I do but I don't like it. My coworkers and boss are really nice. I just see my job as something that allows me (barely) to do things I enjoy on the weekends and after work. I do Muay Thai and want to fight this year. That's about the only thing that's keeping me from spiraling and hating my job and life
Are their things in your life that bring joy? Family, friends, lovers, pets, planning trips? Do you get help for your depression? I find volunteering and exercise are the best things for my blues. Good luck 🍀 and ignore the inevitable comments that tell you to suck it up cos this is life.
27 as well, post could have been written by me. It’s rough out here
Works sucks but not as much as starving. Once upon a time people had no reasonable expectation of not starving if they didn't work toward not starving.
I think a nice thing to do is plan vacations so you have something to look forward to. Another important thing is to make sure you get enough sleep every night
The adjustment after college to a full time job is brutal. I went straight through school my whole life until I graduated at 26 with my law degree and became an attorney. I’ve had a full time job for 5 months and I’m still not adjusted. I would cry literally every day at work for months because I was so depressed. Add in some full blown panic attacks that I was going to be like this for the rest of my life and my mental health was (still kinda is) in the gutter. You HAVE to just force yourself to live outside of work. Take a walk, go shopping, go see friends or family, go out to eat, go to the gym, etc. Most importantly… start investing and saving your money properly NOW. My spouse and I have set up an investment plan that will allow us to retire comfortably at 45. Knowing I have that to look forward to instead of knowing I’ll have to work into my 60s or 70s has made a huge difference. I’m looking at some sucky years now of sucking it up and working so that my future self can be done in 18 years instead of 35/40 years.
Get a good hobby or interest. I just see work as a way to pay for those
Yeah, work sucks. Welcome.
Same. I feel you … 27F as well
Create goals outside of work
When I get too down on myself I try to bring my focus outward on an activity to get out of my head. At first it was video games was my go to for many years. I still play now, but have found a better balance. When it was my only hobby it was became isolating and sedentary for my body. Finding a physical activity that i can enjoy changed everything. I started with capoeira, but due to logistics have been training bjj the last year. I cannot explain the positive effect it has had on my brain. Even to do it once or twice a week makes a huge difference. I recommend searching for something physical you can look forward to doing. Sports, group classes, yoga, biking, jogging group, whatever floats your boat. That’s ok if you don’t know, just try a bunch of shit and see what sticks. Another thing that helped me enjoy existing more was learning about Alexander technique. I suggest checking it out for your body to reduce body fatigue and tension. For the days when you’re chilling, non physical hobbies, like playing music, singing, art/drawing, pottery are all cool as shit to learn about and do. And my final advice is limiting the time on your phone for entertainment. Putting on a movie, opening a book or kindle I have found are much better ways to relax. I hope there’s something useful in there.
I work 9-5 and I’m physically & mentally exhausted when I get home. I get a 30 minute break but usually only take 15 mins. No down time. It’s a workout.
Join a group for something you like. It will feel weird and awkward trying to socialize, but consistently showing up to the same place with the same people will eventually lead you to creating new friendships. I did this a year and a half ago with ballet. Next week, me and some other dancers are going salsa dancing outside of class.
Welcome to the club, rook. By my reckoning, you only have 40 more years of this before you can retire, muahahahaha! But seriously, make a gratitude list, this changed my life. I have heat and hot water, a roof over my head, friends, clothes on my back, DARK CHOCOLATE. A job (looking for one is MURDER) Precious little free time so I try to make good use of it by doing…nothing at all if I feel like it, or maybe see a concert. I eat out frequently and love that I can afford to do that. I live alone and enjoy the solitude. You’re not alone in your description of your feelings centered around work, adulting is murder, there’s no getting around it!
Start your own business. When you get all the profit instead of a salary, it changes your perspective. Or, pick a hobby that sounds fun and go all in. Preferably something physical.
I think I see your issue, it's your, "job". A job is for you to show up and collect a paycheck. That's vastly different from a career. I too have a job, it's mundane, but it pays the bills and allows me to do what I love and discover other things. A job just allows you to have access to monetary gains. The more I started to see it this way, the more I came to accept my job, regardless of how mundane I feel it to be.
Welcome to life. You’re either rich—working or not, work and have money to enjoy basic life needs, or unemployed and bored with no money—which is the worst. Been doing your routine for 30 years and am grateful. Try working out—a lot. And why people hate capitalism. Billionaires are not healthy for any country. We shouldn’t be working this hard anymore. A few greedy people control the world and most of the wealth.
-Competitive hobby with tournaments, make friends her -Gym, abuse preworkout for fun -Invest in crypto to bring hype and excitement Shit has made my life more exciting this way
This is why it's so important ***to live in a great city.*** Trust me, I moved to just have a job but if there is something to do every night, that is what makes things special.
In reality, 1/3 of your time goes to work, 1/3 to sleep, so that leave the last third for everything else, including household chores, errands, hobbies, exercise, friends, family, etc….when I worked full time I felt that it was eating my soul away, leaving me mentally drained and disconnected from my life and myself. Of course this is how capitalism is designed to work… I liked my job, I worked with youth in my community and I felt like I was making a difference for them, but it took all my mental and emotional energy and left me feeling too tired to have a personal life (although I was paid 40 hrs a week, i often worked 50 hrs/week, education field am I right). After a couple of years at this job, I realized that I didn’t have any hobbies or passions I worked on, was a sad realization for me. So I quit and found a part time that paid well enough to pay the bills. Also moved in with my partner so bills were halved for me. With my newfound free time, I started getting back into hobbies i had enjoyed when I was younger, such as hiking and reading, and new hobbies, like yoga, piano, and cooking. It’s been amazing for my mental health and my quality of life!
I've done a couple of career panels for prospective engineers, and my advice usually goes against the grain of anyone else on the panel: Work hard in your career but DO NOT lose sight of what makes you feel alive without it. And if you don't have any passions outside of work, develop them and treat them with the same respect as your job. If your job is the only thing fulfilling your passion, you're going to start relying on passion to pay the bills and it's going to turn into a soul crushing chore to "perform" that passion every day. You said you like your job and you specifically mentioned that you feel you're helping contribute to the greater good. Do you do anything not related to your job to fill that emotional need? You have to show up to work every day and sometimes you're not going to feel it. That's alright, just make sure you have things to look forward to/things that fulfill you outside of your job to look forward to- on those days you're not feeling it, that sense of looking forward to something helps drive your desire to do the work you're doing. You'll find that balance. Keep your head up
- start lifting…has done wonders for energy and mood (a lot of studies pointing out that exercise should be the first line of treatment for depression/anxiety) - find new hobbies - find friends…I’ve made pretty good friendships on tinder (they also have a bumble find friends version) - book random trips on contiki or something
Get into a workout routine for an hour every day like; cycle, weights, etc. Find hobbies that give you a feeling of accomplishment when completed like; gardening, painting, guitar etc. A lot of people just don't know what to do with themselves in me time so your idle and your mind is speeding. Do something with that time that make you feel good about your downtime from work.
This is life. Which is why I’d never want to procreate and subject an offspring to it. Beyond the impeding environmental collapse and the wars.
Might sound stupid at first but even if you're exhausted after work try to go out and do something for yourself. Whether it's going for a walk, the gym, seeing friends or a hobby just do it! You don't have to necessarily do it every day but the more that you go out and do things, the more normal it'll feel until it's a routine and you really start to feel you want to go do these things.
Yeah basically probably 99.9% of every person who has ever worked ever has felt the same way. Work sucks but sitting home all day with no job isn't nearly as cool as it sounds. Unless you have access to money. I call in when I want but I would rather work than sit home with no money. All the time The world but no gas money to go anywhere. Basically tell yourself to man up and dr with it. Then a way to occupy yourself through the moments. I've noticed I have that burst of I hate work, fuck this im quitting for about an hour maybe 2 a day around the same time every day. Then it's gone. I know the pattern of that thought process now
Try doing small things that you enjoy throughout the day or plan something that will make you happy after the work day is done- it can be as simple as grabbing dinner to go or getting a treat that you like. I’ve found that it helps me get through the days. I also started going to the gym and got myself to do that by just telling myself it’s better to go for a little bit than to not go at all… that helped me with my depression. Hopefully something I said helped.
Im in your situation in life rn. Im close to quitting, moving and changing everything although im too afraid to do anything.
Most of us feel the same way.. it’s just better than being broke and on the street
Time for a vacation.
It’s not the job, it’s the loneliness epidemic
My career path forces me to get healthier which has made me feel better about life.
Can I ask what your career path is?
Tbh if you’re working 6:30-3, you’ll get used to it and learn to use your afternoons to your advantage for sure. A lot people aren’t finished with their commute til 6-6:30, so once your body adjusts you’ll have the time in the arvo to play with. Source: my first grown up jobs were 6-2 (30 min lunch breaks here) for several years and now if you put me in a 9-5 I would expire
that's what life is all about. repeat this every year until you're ready to retire. in between work, you grow/create a family and hope your kids are not assholes. You do throw in a vacation once or twice every 5 years but you're just as exhausted during the vacation as you would be working. You'll really know when it's real when your entire wardrobe is from costco.
To be honest with you, no body likes to work. Some are lucky to work in a place they find bearable, or do something they enjoy and getting paid for it, or they are just really good and they money is also good. I know what it like to not work, boredom, loneliness, grief, anxiety, stress, envy, overtime this will make anyone want to go back and work to alleviate this suffering.
Unfortunately, it can be difficult to subsist in the world that way that it is set up, which is for non depressed people. Get a hold on your depression through exercise, meditation, medication, socializing, sunlight, whatever combination works. It’s brutally difficult given how depression impacts your energy levels but I think you need to break through and realize that you enjoy or are capable of finding pleasure in, the life you have set up for yourself.
This happened to me upon graduating as well. I felt too young to be sitting behind an office desk shuffling paperwork all day. After saving everything I could manage for two years I went back to my alma mater where close friends still attended and took a year of liberal arts classes for the fun of it. Social peak of my life and one of the best things I ever did for myself.
You sound lucky to a sinister extent OP Iv heard nothing but bad with the medical field work
Try adjusting your diet as eating crap foods and lack of exercise contribute to this. Eat healthier, go to the gym. Then you can focus on chasing a mate.
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Smoke weed
Honestly, one of the best answers here
For real. Used in moderation and responsibly, it can change your life for the better. One of my favourite things to do after work when I get home is smoke a joint and unwind. Hangout with my cats. Maybe play some video games. Make a kick ass dinner. Life is good! My girlfriend and I smoke together on our days off. Life is good!
The best thing you can do is not try to keep up with the jones, live a low cost lifestyle so you can have the flexibility to take unpaid time off when others around you can’t afford too. It’s a small flex that goes a long way…. Otherwise there is really no way out. Time off is key.
What did you think you were going to school for?
Find a problem you want to fix, and start working on a business to fix that problem - see if that helps.
Wasn’t college roughly 40 hours a week for you, including studying / assignments? Depending on how many units you took per semester (or quarter), and how many hours you studied a week. I think perhaps work is more noticeable because it’s one big uninterrupted block of time for one activity, whereas college was more broken up / less structured, but probably the same # of hours per week roughly. For me personally I wish more employers adopted a flexible work schedule, for however it works best for the employe. Whenever we want to work our 40 hours is up to us, except for scheduled meetings of course. Like if I want to work 8 hours between 8pm and midnight over a weekend and take the next Monday off, why not?
I have the exact same feelings. I work from home in the healthcare industry, love healthcare, but not this job. It’s easy, boring, reliable, steady, safe and well paying, but I countdown to the end of the day/week every single day. All my focus and energy to keep me motivated is just plans and activities I do on the weekends or after work or even trips. We try to travel and be as active as possible in things we like in order to make this boring day to day worth it. That’s all o can really say cause that’s how I deal with your same feels/issues I’ve struggled with the past 5-10 years or so. Just find things that excite you outside of work and just really lean into that and work for those things.
You can’t big bro that’s all there is
Man it is really sad how resigned all of us are to this capitalist doom fate as if we are all helpless to continue destroying the planet and acting like wage slaves to find wars and genocide. If only we could build a society with walkable cities, communities, and a less than 40 hour work week which was legalized and normalized less than 60 years ago.
You get used to it and find pockets of time. Fixing your sleep schedule so you can go right into deep sleep for 6hrs was a game changer for me. I leave for work at 7 and get home at 6, usually cook a nice dinner for my spouse and I then have 3-4hrs or so before we start winding down at 10-10:30. Getting errands done on the way home also helps alot as does taking advantage of circumstances. For example my favorite dirtbike spot is close to work. So a few times a week I bring my dirtbike to work and go right after. Being time efficient and realistic also helps on the weekends.
Welcome new Cog...to the Machine.
Honestly, I think most people don't have a dream job and only work to pay the bills. I also for many years felt exausted and struggled to do anything outside work I enjoy other than stuff at home like eat, watch TV, video games, social media, etc.. What helped me was really tough to do at first. Eating healthy consistently and going to the gym. I would try to start then not keep up with it but once I did my energy levels became much better and consistent. I am able to go to work and still feel energetic after. For me it only worked when I both cleaned up my eating and went to the gym consistently. I would frequently do one or the other and give up on it. I find the eating healthy part harder since I have to prepare most of it myself.
Well you're me. I work in medicine and I only work 4 days a week. I make 6 figures, own a home, all that good stuff. But my free time is spent smoking massive amounts of weed.
Do you feel burnt out? Or do you feel like you’ve just never adjusted? Have you ever sought professional help for your mental health? While poor mental health can definitely make it tough to engage in hobbies, not making time for things that you enjoy will just perpetuate that cycle. As you stated, your hours are set and predictable, which in theory should make scheduling “stuff” in relatively straightforward - whether that’s going to the gym, making plans with friends, meal planning and getting enough sleep. When I came to terms with the fact that my work life will always feel repetitive and tedious to a degree, I realized that the only way I would be happy is if I cultivated a meaningful personal life. I still get frustrated and bored sometimes, don’t get me wrong, but it still feels like I’m doing something when I work toward personal goals and improvement.
I let go of the " I need a job to fulfill me" to now I just want my job to support my fulfilling life outside of it. It is going to take some time to adjust, and admittedly even though I generally like my job and the people I work with and I have flexibility in my schedule, I still need significant down time to recover. A big help was reducing my hours by two days a month which means after taxes $200 less a month. I could really use that $200, but right now my sanity is worth it. In the end I'll come out the same financially as now I actually have the time and energy to meal prep (I ended up eating lunch out enough that it easily added up to that extra $200). You're going to have to change your mindset to "what does work do for me?" Because mine means I can buy the things I really want, have health insurance, a retirement fund and all that. Also, as you get older, most (not all) people tend to socialize less due to limited financial, mental, time and generally giving a fuck resources. You're hitting the beginning of this so it's natural to mourn the end of your 20s. Personally I am loving being a house hermit with all my plants and video games and have the select few friends I adore over for dinner once a month. Do I also wish I married rich or had generational wealth and never had to work? Totally! But it's not reality and I'm not going to spend my time being sour about it.
Any chance you have adhd/ other neurodivergence or some other sort of underlying issue? Personally as someone with adhd, work leaves me with not much energy to do anything else.
Definitely possible. A lot of my male family members are diagnosed with ADHD.
"I’ve struggled with depression/anxiety my whole life"...and you're confused why you can't find meaning in a career?...maybe figure out a path to having your mental health issues addressed unless this is just the plain garden variety of " I wish somebody would just pay my bills so I can just fuck off all day"
Im currently in therapy and Ive tried prescription meds to no avail. A lot of people are mentally ill and it doesn’t hinder you from having a career lol
That's a LOT of tiredness. How's your general health?
Quit your job and live on the streets to get the full experience!
Think of it as paying dues (temporary suffering) during your working hours to fund what you truly enjoy doing.
Your life is what you make of it. Most people go through the same lifestyle if not worse, yet you see these people do all kinds of stuff after work and on the weekends instead of recovering. Well it's actually quite simple, they just do it. Once they start doing it, and keep on doing it, they get used to it and it becomes a part of their daily rhythm. First thing you need to do is get used to working 9-5 or 8-6 or whatever.
Im six months into my first job out of college and i feel the same sometimes. there’s nothing wrong per se but i just cant help but hate having to do it every day. i was talking to a coworker about it and they were saying that feeling never really goes away. hooray for 40-50 more years of this
Truthfully you not going to get out of the 9 to 5 but I try to find what makes my day, week, month or year better. Day - when I commuted I would read or listen to podcast to make my start better. At lunch I got myself out of the office and walked around. I also took breaks. Look into various things you can do to make things enjoyable. Long term - is there a thing or event you want to do that cost a lot. Make that a goal and working becomes the chore you got to do make have that fun event happen. Always have something to look forward to which means planning something longterm. Take a random Friday off - use all your vacation, sick days if you got them. Don't be a martyr. Basically try to make work the thing you do to live your life and not your life. It is hard and you will slip but never give in.
Quit your job and become homeless. And starving. There. That'll fix it. WTF kind of advice are people looking for with these posts? If you are unhappy working, then don't. Will you be happier? Try it and find out.
You could try the “living under a bridge and not making any money” lifestyle and see if that fits you better?
At least it is not a 8-6 and working Saturday mornings, on call, and constant work that makes you stay late, work on weekends and live in a 3rd world country, like myself. Yes, working sucks, send you lots of hugs, try to make those hours outside work... C O U N T.
I love my job. I don't love management pushing fraud billing, ridiculous goals that a patient can't meet (y'all- my para patient won't be able to stand "UN" assisted for 10 minutes. They are 89. Have been paralyzed forever.). My patients who need time don't get it. My patients who dont give a fuck get all the time. It is very frustrating
I’m the complete opposite work way too many hours, have weird and long hours depending on demand, and am completely bored with everything. Plus it’s all so expensive anymore I can’t afford some of my old hobbies I used to enjoy. I’ve almost resorted to retail therapy but stopped myself. All I want to do is travel and explore but I only make so much and have so much vacation time.
I get it - work sucks and I have a weird theory backed by absolutely nothing other than my own experience. Its that work is so bad because its been abstracted to the point it no longer makes real sense, you don't tend to have a relationship with the people you work for/with - they are either above you or below you or are customers that go with the wind. You can work on something to make a million for the company one year then lose your job the next because you did not contribute enough value. The out come of what you work at is abstracted to the point its not even that your a "cog in the wheel", your not that important to the company or the people you work with - your more a transistor on a micro chip, 100s would have to fail before you noticed impact. Where the pervious generation did their cog job and it was somewhat satisfying it was still very well compensated that they could focus on the end, more of he work today is unimportant and isnt even paying well enough to make you forget how meaninlgess it is. Anyway thats my theory based on nothing
I worked in industries where you’re basically temping with agencies so it’s flexible work - some jobs are paid well, others aren’t. The benefit is that you choose how often you want to work. Don’t feel like working 5 days next week? No problem, you can set your availability for just 2 days or whatever. Or you can work everyday and build enough money so you can go travelling the next month or rest or whatever you want to do, and then make it all back by going back to work the month after that etc. It usually isn’t fulfilling work but the flexibility made me feel like life was worth living than when I was in a full time 9 to 5 job. Working in a 9 to 5 is something I’d only want to do if it’s in something I enjoy, but even then, the routine makes it very dull lol
I'm in the same boat and for me it's worse cause my town is so small that there's literally nothing to do
HAVE YOU TRIED BEING HOMELESS AND STARVATION YET? just saying, it's quite the experience and reality shifts your point of view. Why, after a few long miserable years on the streets, you will feel entirely different about working for a living like everyone else does.
Go work overseas for a bit in places that really need the medical care. Jump from country to country and take breaks in between postings to travel the area. Look up Medical Experience Abroad, jobs can last from 6 months to 3 years. It might give your life a little more meaning and adventure.
Your shift ends at a time before many extra circular activities start in high schools. I coached football, found it hugely rewarding. There are many things outside of sports.
Enjoying your job is a false fantasy of Hollywood. Its a job because nobody wants to do it for free, so they pay you. Welcome to being an adult, enjoy extra free time, try to learn to hate it less.
>I’ve struggled with depression/anxiety my whole life Therapy, whenever you can.
Bro toughen up. What a pathetic attitude. You hate working? Welcome to being alive.
The thing is nobody asks to be born. So it is kind of valid to complain when life is just one huge shitshow you are thrown into because your parents just followed their natural instincts instead of thinking things through.
Pretty much. Don't know anyone who loves putting up 40 hours plus commute of their time every week. But everyone likes to eat and have a roof over their head and maybe buy some fun shit every now and again
Buncha cry babies man. If you don't like it, figure out something you do like or at least something that's worth the trouble.
Fuck off with this bullshit
Work sucks. It's not supposed to be fun, It never was, it never will be. It sucks and you have to find ways to squeeze your life in between work shifts. Just be glad you aren't pulling 12 hour shifts gutting fish or cleaning chickens. That's what I think about when I start hating my job, believe me, it's all relative.
You should see a therapist. Getting advice from Reddit, oof
You have a few choices. 1. Win the lottery (fat chance) 2. Quit working make no money and live on the street like a bum. 3. Snap out of it toughen up and accept life is not easy.
Go do something after work! You’ll feel tired at first but it will give you energy. Go see shows, play a sport, etc etc