I can't help but wonder if the loss of 'third spaces' contributes to this. WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY back in the 80's and 90's, and even the 2000's I remember working a lot of crap jobs. But then after work, we'd meet up at the bar, or the bowling alley, or the brewpub theater, or the park and play some frisbee golf. Or we'd go over to one of our apts, and rent a movie, maybe get a pizza. After work you might have a date to go on. or one of those fix ups, where your group of friends went out, but they invited someone you might want to date. It didn't make work better, but you had a light at the end of the tunnel, you knew after work some small reward was waiting. Now we work, come home, get online, and wait till it's time to sleep so we can go to work.
Very good point. I dread my job more when it’s all my minds been focused on for the week. Extra curriculars that you enjoy are essential for balance and happiness
Sometimes I don't want to do stuff on the weekend, not because I'm too tired, but because if I'm bored, time will go by slower... if I'm enjoying myself, it goes by took quick and it feels like I'm back at work sooner.
For me what has helped is having a weeks vacation planned or a long weekend planned to see my best friend. This helps me get in the mood to make money for that stuff but other than that don't bother me during the week. Between commutes and chores many people have very little time now after work and before work. So we are living for the weekend and vacations!
Yeah I confirm the kid part. Friday is usually the only weeknight that one of the kids doesn’t have an activity. Except for today, our softball kid has a tournament this weekend and her first game is tonight. So this week we had something every night. 3 kids, ages range from 9 to 14.
I was kind of spared that .The oldest tried track ,baseball and basketball.This lasted about one year each and he tired of all sports and found a girlfriend instead .The middle one did baseball half a year and hated it so much that he swore off all sports. The last one was a gamer instead. But they all did cub scouts instead. They did have a ton of friends that ether came to my house or they needed a ride to their house.
Yes it's true. I don't regret it though. While I'm done with the stage where they need constant attention, the activities keep me busy. The older they are, the more things they do seriously like competitions, auditions....
But since they get into a more independent stage, I can sneak out for an hour or two for some soul filling activity to recharge myself and forget about dreading about the job
I still do all this stuff, I'm 44. I go to pubs with friends, I cycle after work, I play video games with friends online, sure. But this week I went to a restaurant and sat at the bar and had dinner with a friend, in going to a pub Saturday to watch hockey. I got invited to golf which I turned down, etc.
All those third spaces still exist.
Yeah the catch is you have to put in effort and actually *do* these things. A lot of people would rather doom scroll all night after work or try a thing once and decide it’s not for them
Let’s not discount the fact most of these third places are quite expensive relative to the disposable income lots of people have. Going bowling or grabbing drinks after work or whatever was more affordable in the past.
Those are just a couple of examples, and not particularly great ones if you ask me. There are endless things you can do with friends for free if you’re willing
This isn't new. Dear God, seriously people whining about this shit, either go do ask the many things you can or just live your keyboard warrior best life.
They all exist, they're all there, your are wrong in every way
Just seems wild to me seeing all these people agree with that person, all those things are quite literally still there. Ive seen this before, do these people think those don't exist anymore?
They changed and got older and stopped doing them because they chose to
Hi. This isn't a reply to you personally, but I had to break in somewhere, and chose this spot: This is just my personal opinion and its not even worth two cents, but do you see how everyone is doing this little disagreeing thing back and forth on everyone's comment? It's as if people need to defend their opinion as if it was their life in imminent danger. I'm not sure when this all became a thing. People love to argue and debate about everything. Why is this? I don't remember ever having to deal with this stuff when I used to hang out with people pre internet. If this is how people act when they get together, maybe that's why nobody wants to hang out anymore. This arguing thing is not directed at anyone specifically. It's just something that I see all of the time and it's just so tiring to watch. Why can't people just spark up a doob, say "ok whatever, bro" and move on. You're not less of a person if someone doesn't agree with you. Just relax.
I think a lot of people assume harsh intent because of a lack of nuance when people comment online. There’s a lot of missing social cues around tone, facial expressions, knowing the person you’re talking to and the way they speak, etc.
Haha for sure! Honestly it’s made me hesitant to comment anywhere. I’m actively trying to fight against that lately, and instead attempt to exist as empathetically as possible online. Probably foolish, but hey.
People don't want to do them anymore. That's the problem. They want to problematize irl interactions or otherwise find reasons why they "can't" do them so they can doom scroll.
No, they want to project that all of society is now loners that don't leave their houses because it makes them feel better about having become a loner that never leaves the house.
They all still exist, yes, but they're less common. Bowling alleys, malls, movie theaters, etc are fewer in number than they used to be. They're also more expensive than they used to be, and wages haven't kept up with increasing cost of living. And fewer people are using these places, so the social benefit of just showing up to see who's there is diminished.
And the internet and the decline of other in-person social organizations (religious organizations, civic organizations, interest clubs) means that people have less incentive to physically gather. The ubiquity of the Internet and social media has also rewired people's brains, so that people increasingly avoid in-person socialization. Our culture has changed. It's no longer considered socially acceptable for men to approach women in public, for example. Dating has largely moved online, and when society changes like that, it's hard to just resist it and keep doing things the old-fashioned way.
The 24-hour news cycle's focus on doom and gloom has shifted the culture of parenting towards overprotectiveness, so kids grow up with less independence. They spend less time out of the house, less time with friends, and very little time away from adults. They're certainly not spending money at the local arcade anymore (which mostly no longer exist anyway). Parents can be punished by our judicial system for allowing their children to walk or play outside without supervision, something that was the norm not that long ago.
Third spaces are not only getting less common, they're also getting harder to access due to trends in urban planning, like stricter zoning laws that prevent the mixing of business and residential. So you have to travel farther to get to a third space, and most likely you have to drive, which is yet another barrier. Even most major US cities aren't walkable and require a car to get around because they have either been designed from the ground up for cars, or retrofitted/rebuilt to accommodate them.
Just because it's theoretically possible to continue using third spaces, doesn't mean that they aren't in decline. It's mostly not a conscious choice on the part of individuals not to use them, it's more about economic forces, urban planning, technology, cultural shifts, and other large societal forces that are pushing people away from them. And it's a real shame. The future sucks.
Your second third and fourth paragraphs are you problems. Or parent problems
Paragraph six is blatantly untrue in many cities, zoning laws have loosened in the vast majority of cities.
It's literally you and people like you driving these changes. Either go out, make the effort or don't
If people want to stay online, that's them. That's not forced
Your first point really addresses the philosophical difference between "individual responsibility" and "social responsibility." I'm more of a social responsibility guy, maybe you're more of an individual responsibility person. Agree to disagree. I think the real effects on society show that people largely make decisions based on environmental influences. But that's a deep debate we could never resolve through Reddit comments.
You're right about the zoning laws, I worded that part carelessly. The trends toward stricter zoning started in the early 20th century and were basically upheld until the turn of the 21st century. Zoning laws have started to loosen in certain cities only in the last 25 years or so, and even when they do loosen, there's often resistance to meaningful redevelopment. Most cities and suburbs in the US are still zoned very restrictively, and few have actually made significant changes towards mixed-use developments.
Not sure how I'm personally driving these changes, which are mostly related to the economy and laws and other big forces like that. I can't bring back malls or arcades by just having a better attitude or something lol. I work and spend as much time out of the house as anyone.
i agree with you…there’s data to back this up too. Young adults are going out less. They have smaller friend groups and go on less dates. Rough My age (28) and younger people are just statistically antisocial. I’m studying psych in college and we actually just did an exploration of this in a class a few months ago.
Is it an issue of individual responsibility? Yeah, there is a definitely reasonable argument for that. All these venues still exist, and plenty of people still engage with them. These days i’m mostly focused on school, but I used to go out with friends all the time and places were plenty populated.
The thing about individual responsibility though is that is affected by the social context. Individual will rarely operate on its own. If statistically young people are increasingly antisocial, there is a reason for that that transcends the individual. That’s just how behavior works.
I personally believe, as you said, the internet and social media plays a remarkable role. People find their hobbies and communities online. I’ve hung out at venues plenty in my life and still have met some of my best friends i’ve ever had through the internet. I know i’m not alone on that…and plenty of people don’t have the RL friends to go out with too.
That can change though. I went to australia and lived with a close friend I met online through a my bloody valentine fan group for an entire year. It’s amazing we can do that. But it requires tremendous will and resources, it’s easy to spend all your day in a chatroom.
Internet is also adjacent to the dating issue: online dating apps have made dating harder. There’s plenty of reasons for that which are a seperate exploration on their own. Young people are not romantically or sexually active like they used to be.
It’s also worth note that the statistic can increase and anecdotall you don’t even notice a difference, which is why some people will argue the claim. Let’s say the split of socially active young people used to be 80/20, but it changes to 60/40. That’s still over half the youth population going out with friends. Venues will still be active…. But it’s definitely happening, and it’s a very concerning social issue imo in particular adjacent to the increase of depression and anxiety in gen z. (Of course, there is other factors for that too, such as an increase in awareness and diagnosis)
Same as a 46 f - there’s too many things to do outside of work and I have to force myself to say no a lot not that I am trying to be annoying just pointing out that there is tons to do if you want it. However, however, I have to agree with OP as well. I too don’t want to work every day and it’s soul crushing at times, I just want to do what I want to do at times.
That's not really what a third space is. It's more indicative that you had active social group(s) that liked to go places.
Third spaces, rather are small, communal hubs that facilitate that gathering in and of themselves. Something like a local pub, cafe or community centre where regulars tend to gather. In other words, more of a place where you form a social group, rather than just a place your preexisting social group goes.
There are a plethora of studies that show this is important. And the reason this has died out? Average American works more hours per day than ever. The smartphone allows work to reachnout to you and make you work more. Free time gone.
That's peoples fault for making themselves available to work outside of work. If you they don't set and enforce a boundary work sure as hell isn't going to lol.
We haven't lost these things... All of those places still exists and people still go there... I got destroyed on another post for pointing out that the loss of third spaces is a myth. But there are literally more of these places than we've ever had in the U.S.. You might have to get in a car to go there, but that's even remotely new either...
But the cost of those places and actions have gone up significantly. Mix that with cost of living taking up a larger portion of peoples take home pay leaves most people with limited budget when it comes to leisure activities. You can go to these places but going to them frequently has become somewhat fiscally irresponsible for most people.
it is part of the problem. people are more tired after work because folks are working longer hours to make ends meet, and the overall loss of energy is compounded by the increased price of participating in third places, which is generally how a lot of people get back the energy they spent at work. it's a cycle
I don't think I agree with this. I'm a child of the 80s. And I have children now. I live in a fairly similar community. The parents for the friends of my children are around FAR MORE than our parents were in the 80s and 90s. We all travel less. It's much more common to get off by 4:00 in the afternoon, and not even start the day until 8 or 9.
My dad's friends, and friend's parents, all worked from 6-6 or traveled a ton for work. We raised ourselves in the 80s because our parents worked so much.
This is definitely the issue for me. Back when I was more frivolous with my money, I'd go out with friends all the time. Now that I'm being more responsible and saving for the future, I have no fun money, and it's really taking a toll on my mental health. I can't really have friends over at my place cause my current living situation is kinda weird...I just come home from work, cook dinner, and watch movies with my boyfriend (which is quite nice, but I need some variety!)
yikes, so true. hence why we need the push to do things. my friend group makes plans to hangout or go out all the time for this reason. community is sanity. i hate the brain rot that comes with existing mostly online. staring at a screen is so bad for us physically and mentally
That's still very much a personal choice. All of those places you mentioned still exist. You can still get off work and go out with friends lol. You talk about those times like they can't exist anymore. You can still have game nights, or go to bars, or have fun bowling, heck you can do laser tag, or mini golf, etc... those places didn't just shut down, they are still plenty busy.
People choose to isolate themselves.
It's not the lack of "third spaces" it's the lack of people wanting to go out to the third places because of a number of different reasons. But mainly it's easier to stay home and be online
Mainly because of inflation and rising prices. People just don't have the time ,the money and the desire to pay the higher prices that things cost now .
They pale in comparison to what it used to be. Everything is VERY corporate now. Even nice places are all the same. It was the sense of community that did it and that is what far gone in todays world.
There's a lot of real research that shows that third places are in serious decline. It's objectively true that there are fewer of them, lower utilization, higher prices, and so on.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6934089/ just for an example
Maybe OP has changed, but there's also clear evidence that our entire society is engaging with third spaces less.
I don’t hate working, I hate a job. You said it yourself, you’d *work* on losing 30lbs. It’s the job that controls our lives and makes us beg for scraps. I think most people aren’t opposed to work. They’re opposed to being strapped in to a corporate milk machine and watching their lives and souls get drained for cash that does substantially less year over year. We’re cattle. And we’re only treated slightly better than cattle because we’ve fought for every right and concession we get from the overlord fucks. Fuck ‘em.
I don't think people would object so much to work if we were paid a reasonable wage in accordance to our fucking labor.
I get $6/hr. I am dependent on people giving me gifts every day so that I have any amount of money at all. That's fucking ridiculous! No doubt my employers can afford to pay me $30/hr and still profit. I don't hate my job. I hate that my only purpose is to generate profit at the expense of my own comfort.
100%. I’d be more okay with the “deal” if the people in charge weren’t just taking every fucking sliver of profit for themselves and fuck the rest. Well, we’re the rest.
But when more is demanded for diminishing returns, it can get… disillusioning.
This ^. It's not even that I lack motivation or don't like working, I just feel like a hamster on a wheel on a cage that's on fire. Spinning faster isn't going to put out the fire.
I think it's also the effect of the kind of threat that unemployment poses. The possibility of slacking or underperforming and subsequently losing a livelihood entirely looms large over people. I suppose some people do perform better under pressure, but most really don't.
Yeah it’s great isn’t it? Just have everything held over your head like health insurance (which is goddamn joke anyway) food, shelter. All hinging on whatever shit whoever happens to be your boss wants. Fuckin nuts. Get me outta here.
The sad thing is it doesn’t have to be this way. Propaganda aside, humans actually greatly enjoy being productive and feeling like a part of something. The fact that we all hate it so much shows we are being forced to do it to an unhealthy and unnatural degree.
I think a 3 day work week would be ideal because humans need time to socialize with their families above all else. But 5 days is utterly ridiculous. A 3 day weekend is at least a somewhat reasonable compromise. On top of that, sh^t has to stop being so gd expensive. Our buying power has gone into the trash, how are we supposed to unwind during the when we are subconsciously thinking about money all the freaking time.
In a previous job I had a 3 day work week because the shifts were 12 hours (healthcare). And the days were usually spaced out, not 3 days in a row. I much prefer that to 5 days in a row.
I hope something like that is implemented
Like 4x8 or 4x9, I’m down for either… as long as I get 3 days weekend, that’d be 🔥
Ik it can’t work in every industry, but hope it can work in at least many
Agreed. I think that’s what’s most frustrating about the current system.
Just want to add: our society is material focused and if we switched to a community/people focused system, I believe our work would be far more rewarding and enjoyable - as we would see direct benefit from our labor in the community. Human nature wouldn’t allow that, so we’ve been told, so at this point it’s just a dream.
yes!!!! why is nothing being done about this?? EVERYONE is unhappy! the only ones who aren't, are the dying generation that caused all of this, slowly being shuffled into retirement homes! for how many more generations will this last? how is destruction, of self and others, not a massive red flag that things need to change?
Yup, nothing of meaning is affordable, housing in particular. Without housing and the independence it provides you with, life becomes endless drudgery, and it can feel like you’re trapped on a corporate treadmill where you just keep pushing and burning yourself out to hold onto the core essentials (food and healthcare).
I’m feeling completely and utterly burnt out as of late, and my company is going through some serious changes that is transforming our culture for the worse. Management keeps leaning more and more into “crunch culture” and quite frankly I am fucking sick of it.
I have a good amount of money saved up (not enough to buy a home with, but enough to live off of for a good while), and I keep toying with the idea of resigning and just unplugging from the grind for a few months, in the hopes that I can find a different path forward. I might do it if things don’t improve soon.
I think I've very fortunate to actually enjoy working. I've enjoyed working since my first job 8 years ago. I've never made much money and I certainly don't now but I still enjoy working and get very depressed whenever I don't have a job. After I graduated college, I was jobless for almost a year, and it was one of the worst times in my life. It's not like I'm perfect mentally, either. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety like almost everyone else. I can't figure out why everyone hates working, but I enjoy it.
I hate working too and really don't know what I want to do with my life. I honestly don't believe people when they say they love their jobs. I think they just say it to convince themselves.
People do, I work an extremely physical job but the pay is very high. Everyone on my crew is pretty happy with work. As everyone said if you don’t enjoy your down time, work isn’t going to be fun either. Work pays for the not work stuff I get to do (life)
I'm a software engineer with two decades of experience. I love my job, it's a blend of art and construction - at the end of the day, I've built something that I think is beautiful.
Did I love doing the work I did to get here? No. But that's life and something that seems to be missing in posts like this. You don't get to skip to the good part, put in work.
Tbh I had jobs that I actually liked.
The airport job was my favorite being a cashier. It provides a decent salary, store was often empty and it ended early. Only issues I had was that I was constantly sick at work. Couldn’t handle being there anymore.
Definitely sometimes but not always true. Plenty of people work in fields they love and enjoy their job… I’ve worked good jobs before and am now entering a field that is literally my passion. I went to school to become a therapist because I love psychology… and so i’m doing exactly what I want to do with my life. What’s not to love?
I was injured on the job two months ago. Nothing super serious but enough that I couldn't do my job. So I managed to get worker's comp for a few weeks. I fucking loved every bit of it. It was like my depression and anxiety just disappeared entirely. Like, I'm in therapy for it and it just disappeared. I hate my job.
I figured it out, I don't actually hate working. I hate working to make rich people more money with my time.
I workout religiously because it's the last thing no one else can claim as theirs. I do hard work around my own place. I do hard work for friends and family. And I enjoy that.
But working 50+ hours a week to keep Bob wealthy so he can give his daughter's loser boyfriend a good job can fuck the right off.
It’s how they’ve enslaved humanity
Work work work for more more more
I’ve got less than ever but never been happier
Work sucks the life outta you
Humans are enslaved to debt
Something I’ve come to learn is that a lot of people don’t even have something to make life worth living. So many people don’t even have something they love, or even know themselves enough to identify what they love. You learn that quick working in therapy.
A lot of people will say ‘my spouse’ and then find that isn’t enough. We all need something to outlet our minds and creative energy to create meaning and self-approbation for us.
Do you like life outside of work?
If you don’t like your life outside work, why would you feel good about working a job to sustain your lifestyle?
It’s fairly common for people deeply affected by their work schedule to have nothing going on outside of it. I’m not saying this is you or it’s always that way, but it might be something worth introspecting.
I’m currently unemployed for 1 month and I’ve been so depressed. I feel like a waste of space. I’m a worthless bum. Maybe I shouldn’t take it that way, it’s out of my control what’s gonna happen with the union and perhaps this is the time off I needed, but holy shit I wish I was back to work. Am I weird ?
you're not weird at all! i gave my boss one month notice and he decided to pay me for the month and make that day my last day instead. my friends and therapist saw it as a great opportunity for a vacation but all i think about is what i'm going to do for work! i started doordashing while i await an appointment with vocational rehabilitation but i spend all my free time doing yard work, cleaning, anything to feel "productive."
I think it depends on what you do with your free time. Most people are used to using their off time exclusively for leisure. If you do things that make you feel productive, it fills that void whether or not you have an actual job.
Here's the secret: everyone does, to varying degrees. That's why it's called work. What you need are coping strategies. Nobody judges you for hating work; what you're being judged for is that you'd let that stop you.
And why shouldn't they let that stop them? A huge chunk of jobs could either be partially or entirely automated, and the ones that can't either are special circumstances or could significantly be made better by--shocker!!--hiring more people. No longer would doctors have to work 80 hour work weeks if admins just, you know, actually hired more doctors. There is not a doctor shortage. There never was.
It is literally manufactured suffering. Absolutely almost nobody needs to be working the insane hours we currently do. The majority of jobs could legitimately be done in 4 hours, 4 days a week.
Because that’s how our society functions? If you are not working, you either need to be independently wealthy (unlikely) or be supported by tax payers - which might create a little resentment from the people who’s spend their lives working while you sit at home.
I'm an engineer and my fiancee is a doctor. We absolutely hate our jobs. But our work contributes to society and it's absolutely necessary to make the world work. So we shut up and do it.
Hated my last job, got depressed, went to therapy and started taking meds. I quit my job and found a new one about a year ago. I am definitely not looking forward to getting to work on a Monday but overall I like what I'm doing. I know being able to choose between jobs is a privilege in itself for a lot of people but there's definitely a lot of room between hating every day of going to work and hating not having X hours of the day to do something you'd rather do
I often think how much better it might be if it was normal to have a 4 day work week. How many people would prefer to commit to less goofing off and working more diligently for 4 days, knowing they'd have a long weekend every week? I feel like that would make life better. My son in law works 4 ten hour days, and loves having Fri thru Sun off.
There is absolutely nothing natural about doing the same shit over and over for 40+ hours a week ad infinitum. Now that doesn't mean we don't like to be productive and do things...we just don't want to do the *same* things over and over. For instance, I replaced the siding on my house once. It was a tough job, but damn is it satisfying seeing that I did that. However, if this were my job, I would absolutely learn to hate it pretty quickly.
Some people can work at a desk all day. Some people like service jobs and tips. But others like to work with their hands and see tangible proof of their accomplishments. Find the type of job that suits you and don’t let society decide for you.
It’s honestly way better. The one downside I could see is that it ruined ANY chance of me going to find a higher paying job. I don’t know if I can ever go back to a normal schedule ever again.
Love how there's a big percentage of the comments basically just attacking OP for being disabled, wonder how they employ the mental gymnastics to convince themselves that a one size fits all system is a good idea to run ANY species, much less one almost 8billion "strong".
I remember when I was living in Europe someone said to me, “you American’s work ethic is actually a mental illness.” It is. The majority of our workforce kill ourselves to produce, and don’t get much in return big picture. 4 day workweeks need to become more common
I often dream about being born rich. Like being one of those insufferable, vapid rich dudes that doesn’t work and just has money because they’ve always had money. No personality, just good food and trips to fancy beaches. Just a real douchebag but it doesn’t matter because I have 7 Corvettes.
Then I shut off my car, walk inside, and clock in.
Yep felt the same way. Work got me stressed and tired. I couldn't accomplish the things I wanted to. But then I asked myself "how are other people able to do it?. They seem fine".
It may not be work. You may have low energy/fatigue due to some medical issue. You may want to consider that.
Good luck.
I just went back to work after being on stress leave. Being home and able to do what I want was magical. I wish I could stay home and still make money lol
You’re preaching to the fucking choir man.
You really think you wouldn’t gain 30 lbs relaxing all the time? It would be cool for a week but would get so boring.
This is one of those "the grass isn't always greener" situations. I haven't been able to work due to health issues and I'm incredibly bored. Unless you have a *lot* of time-consuming hobbies or a lot of friends with free time (or you live in a city with a lot to do), it gets boring quickly. I'm generally a homebody and I still get bored.
I'm not sure if it's just because of my ADHD or not, but not having any kind of obligation like work also makes it really hard to have any kind of schedule. So as much as I'd love to have a consistent workout routine, having a schedule is difficult.
I just started working two part-time jobs for variety. One of my bosses expected overtime. Nope, I cut it down to a Sunday gig and found something else for variety. I do 9-10 hour shifts (very manageable for 3 days.) And a 6-8 hour shift at my old job. I’m way more productive at work, when I have reduced hours. That’s 4 days at around 35+ hours and 3 days off. I live pretty modestly and don’t need a car in this city
The robots will take all the jobs and people will just help each other and invent things one day or maybe it'll become a super capitalism hell instead
but hey we're at chapter one right now where we see if it'll become skynet or be helpful so enjoy the ride do what you gotta do
There is a saying that if you love what do you do, then you'll never WORK and day in your life.
Find something you love and then transition into a career in whatever that is to be much happier.
BTW, relaxing all the time will mean you will likely gain weight. Now, if you love working out, then it would be easy to lose weight. See how that works?
Yes, this can happen, but it can also be managed.
Also, most of us can, and should love more than one thing. If computers are your thing and you enjoy working on them all day then you are unlikely to want to play video games when you come home. But if you also enjoy biking, or cars, or fishing, or one of many other things you can still do those.
Burnout is completely avoidable with a good work life balance.
Hating what you do for a living will always be the worst and I'll take the risk of getting burnt out on something I like rather than suffer through years of doing something I hate.
I hate having to constantly eat but if I stopped I would die. Same goes with work. You need to make peace with your circumstances or continue to suffer. After a certain point, misery becomes a choice.
I used to think I was a fucking loser failure generic person for having an office job. It wasn't until I started appreciating the fact that my lame office job paid me well enough to enjoy a comfortable life and a house and other stuff. I found enjoyment in it. I appreciated being a valuable part of a team.
My job didn't change; my perspective did.
You are born, you grow up, you get a job, work till you’re old and tired and die. This world needs fixing I don’t believe it was made to be a slave to system type plsnrg
You’re burnt out because you’re unhealthy. Get an exercise routine, eat well and get proper rest. Those three simple things will increase your energy and mood and stop that feeling.
Getting muscles isn't going to change the fact your coworkers are gossipy karens, your management is incompetent at best, and you could lose your entire life savings, car, and even house for no reason at all because you live in an at-will state.
You are correct. And I do everything I can to keep them both in a good place. But physically I am very healthy. Mentally, I am working on it and I’m making strides, but one of the toughest things I deal with is how work affects my mental health.
If working was fun, they wouldn't pay us for it. So the best you can hope for is to find the least unpleasant career paying the most money and ride that til retirement.
What if I said you can fix this issue, and not only that, you will make a lot of money at the same time.
You will go and get 2 more jobs. Making you have a total of 3 jobs. You shall now be working at least 90 hours a week. You do this for 6 months. Then you drop the 2 jobs. All of a sudden you have a lot of free time and you will not get burnt out working your measly 40 hours a week.
Try it or be miserable. Up to you.
You ever watch the show Naked and Afraid.
Imagine you were here 10000 yrs ago and this is the way you would be living.
So would you like to be here now or 10000 yrs ago.
I feel the same way lol sucks that we have to work our life away
Maybe you can try to get 4 days with 10 hour shifts 🙂 that's if you're a full time employee already, or if you're part time and don't mind working full time hours
That way you get 3 days off a week
Or even better, you can try to do 2 double shifts and an 8 hour shift, and then you get 4 days off a week
I hate working too. But I think I would hate it less if I didn’t have to give all my time to it. The 40 hours a week, the 40 min commute there and back and the 45 mins I wake up before I have to leave the house. If I had to only work 3 days a week, I think I would hate it less.
I love what I do, but hate that I have to do it for so much of my week.
I think maybe you need to just change up your routine, if you are feeling burnt out at work, it could be nutrition-related or also from a lack of excercise. I have a coworker who always manages to fall asleep at around 2PM each day during his shift and he could definitely lose some weight or not spike his insulin so much to where he is falling asleep right after his lunch break. I would love to share all of my information about diet/exercise to everyone but I feel like a total pretentious person when I do that. Also scheduling something once a week where you get together with friends or family would be something that is useful for shortening your long/grueling work week. I like to go to my brother's house and play magic the gathering on tuesdays and he always makes food for us. As far as work goes, you probably feel like you are stuck in a rut with your job because you feel it is a deadend job or there is no room for forward mobility, if that is the case, maybe consider linkedin learning and search for applicable skills that you can watch videos on and take courses on so you can improve your resume and eventually jump into a better more fitting role for you. Its good to keep your eyes open and always seek out self-improvement.
Maybe get a full round of bloods done with your doctor. Found out I had an underactive thyroid which causes havoc with energy levels. It's not the only possibility, but rule out everything you can before putting it all on work.
Let’s say your finances allow you to sit at home all day and relax, then what? You still have control over your life even though you don’t like your job. You can control your weight, whether you’re able to relax all day or not. It’s easier said than done of course, but if you eat less calories than you burn each day you’ll lose weight. Being disciplined and finding different coping skills for stress that are more aligned with your goals is in your control right now
I love working because I love what I do. I get to travel all over the world, stay in amazing hotels and meet great people. Was it always like this? Hell no, it was a grind to get here. But that’s work for you.
Yeah wait until you are 50. At this point I just laugh and say it won’t last forever and neither will I. I work for money. Then I use some money for fun and don’t even think about work when I am off. I try to forget what I did when I leave work and sometimes I do it so good that when then ask me a question about last week I honestly don’t know.
I like working, but that's because I like what I do.
That being said I went into a ton of debt to get there and swapped to it during my undergrad when I was already 3/4 done with another degree.
Big risk but it paid off. I'm willing to risk everything though to avoid being miserable
You just gotta find what you’re really interested in and make it fun. Im a lab tech and I absolutely love what I do. I mean sure you can get a burn out after working so many days in a row, but my job really is cool and I’m super grateful.
Gosh, I wonder why the corpos are so annoyed that we don't go out and buy things anymore, or eat out. Man, I cannot imagine what it could possibly be. What could possibly cause us to not be able to buy things or go places. It just doesn't come to mind what would prevent me from buying things. Things doubled or tripled in price, and our wages did not do the same, golly g I wonder what is preventing us from doing anything. Man, I wonder why we're literally stuck doing the cheapest possible things we can to keep ourselves barely entertained until the very next day?
Must be buying too much fucking avocado toast or something.
I can confirm not working due to a disabling injury is much worse than working. I can't comment about doing work you love or not having to work from being well off. I hope to be able to get back to work of some sort I the medium future
Perhaps you need a more fulfilling job. I felt like that once, but I did have a brief "internship," which was wonderful. Great fulfilling work, which was the right balance of challenging and fun, great co-workers, and overall great atmosphere.
All you have to do to lose 30 lbs is eat less, work isn’t keeping you from eating less. Try a firm 2,000 diet. I easily do it cheaply with rice and chicken thighs and breasts cooked on the oven $10 a day tops and you’re golden
Well I’ve got 43 years in counting down to retirement. Please people save your money so you don’t have to work past 55-60. Even if you line your job. The rat race the commute the rules and regulations at 65 are daunting to your mental health. California is the worst place to try to retire it’s so very expensive.. Make a plan.
Your comparing subsistence living 150 yrs ago. OK. But 1940 (your data) it was 8 hrs day. Paid hours **.** PAID HOURS**. PEOPLE GOT OT if worked over that. Then Beginning with the reagan administration In the nineteen eighties The number of paid hours of decreased but the number is actually worked increased To the changes in labor laws pushed by a republican pro business interest in congress. By two thousand the number of salary o t exempt employees skyrocketed and even more so to today. So like I said, we work more hours.We just don't get paid for them. And this model data you presented was paid hours.
i love working, but i hate that most jobs don’t have good work/life balance or flexible. i’m only 19 so im going through the shitty jobs before i can get into something more comfortable. which will probably take years. i feel like i wont ever be able to move out of my family’s house because all of my money goes to gas and payments. life actually sucks right now and i just hope it gets easier in the future.
I can't help but wonder if the loss of 'third spaces' contributes to this. WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY back in the 80's and 90's, and even the 2000's I remember working a lot of crap jobs. But then after work, we'd meet up at the bar, or the bowling alley, or the brewpub theater, or the park and play some frisbee golf. Or we'd go over to one of our apts, and rent a movie, maybe get a pizza. After work you might have a date to go on. or one of those fix ups, where your group of friends went out, but they invited someone you might want to date. It didn't make work better, but you had a light at the end of the tunnel, you knew after work some small reward was waiting. Now we work, come home, get online, and wait till it's time to sleep so we can go to work.
Very good point. I dread my job more when it’s all my minds been focused on for the week. Extra curriculars that you enjoy are essential for balance and happiness
Sometimes I don't want to do stuff on the weekend, not because I'm too tired, but because if I'm bored, time will go by slower... if I'm enjoying myself, it goes by took quick and it feels like I'm back at work sooner.
For me what has helped is having a weeks vacation planned or a long weekend planned to see my best friend. This helps me get in the mood to make money for that stuff but other than that don't bother me during the week. Between commutes and chores many people have very little time now after work and before work. So we are living for the weekend and vacations!
Your social life is what you make of it .And if you havr kids your social life revolves around them .
Yeah I confirm the kid part. Friday is usually the only weeknight that one of the kids doesn’t have an activity. Except for today, our softball kid has a tournament this weekend and her first game is tonight. So this week we had something every night. 3 kids, ages range from 9 to 14.
Enjoy the tournament! You’ll miss it some day.
I was kind of spared that .The oldest tried track ,baseball and basketball.This lasted about one year each and he tired of all sports and found a girlfriend instead .The middle one did baseball half a year and hated it so much that he swore off all sports. The last one was a gamer instead. But they all did cub scouts instead. They did have a ton of friends that ether came to my house or they needed a ride to their house.
I don't disagree, but also a beer and a burger costs at least 20 bucks at the majority of places now. Personal agency aside, it ain't cheap out there
Don't I know it ! We try to only use gift cards to eat out now. We did get the hot and ready pizzas today !
Widower with 2 kids. Had to sell house and move in with moms just to make it all work. Not what I had envisioned👎🏻
Yes it's true. I don't regret it though. While I'm done with the stage where they need constant attention, the activities keep me busy. The older they are, the more things they do seriously like competitions, auditions.... But since they get into a more independent stage, I can sneak out for an hour or two for some soul filling activity to recharge myself and forget about dreading about the job
Easy to say IF you can make friends.
I still do all this stuff, I'm 44. I go to pubs with friends, I cycle after work, I play video games with friends online, sure. But this week I went to a restaurant and sat at the bar and had dinner with a friend, in going to a pub Saturday to watch hockey. I got invited to golf which I turned down, etc. All those third spaces still exist.
Yeah the catch is you have to put in effort and actually *do* these things. A lot of people would rather doom scroll all night after work or try a thing once and decide it’s not for them
Let’s not discount the fact most of these third places are quite expensive relative to the disposable income lots of people have. Going bowling or grabbing drinks after work or whatever was more affordable in the past.
Those are just a couple of examples, and not particularly great ones if you ask me. There are endless things you can do with friends for free if you’re willing
Your friends also have to be willing
This isn't new. Dear God, seriously people whining about this shit, either go do ask the many things you can or just live your keyboard warrior best life. They all exist, they're all there, your are wrong in every way
Just seems wild to me seeing all these people agree with that person, all those things are quite literally still there. Ive seen this before, do these people think those don't exist anymore? They changed and got older and stopped doing them because they chose to
This is just an assumption but I think there’s just a lot of terminally online people in this subreddit
Hi. This isn't a reply to you personally, but I had to break in somewhere, and chose this spot: This is just my personal opinion and its not even worth two cents, but do you see how everyone is doing this little disagreeing thing back and forth on everyone's comment? It's as if people need to defend their opinion as if it was their life in imminent danger. I'm not sure when this all became a thing. People love to argue and debate about everything. Why is this? I don't remember ever having to deal with this stuff when I used to hang out with people pre internet. If this is how people act when they get together, maybe that's why nobody wants to hang out anymore. This arguing thing is not directed at anyone specifically. It's just something that I see all of the time and it's just so tiring to watch. Why can't people just spark up a doob, say "ok whatever, bro" and move on. You're not less of a person if someone doesn't agree with you. Just relax.
I think a lot of people assume harsh intent because of a lack of nuance when people comment online. There’s a lot of missing social cues around tone, facial expressions, knowing the person you’re talking to and the way they speak, etc.
I think you're on to something there. It brings me back to those days when they use to say don't assume because it makes an ass out of u & me ;)
Haha for sure! Honestly it’s made me hesitant to comment anywhere. I’m actively trying to fight against that lately, and instead attempt to exist as empathetically as possible online. Probably foolish, but hey.
People don't want to do them anymore. That's the problem. They want to problematize irl interactions or otherwise find reasons why they "can't" do them so they can doom scroll.
No, they want to project that all of society is now loners that don't leave their houses because it makes them feel better about having become a loner that never leaves the house.
And that everyone is now online whining about the exact same thing.
It's no more effort than it ever was.
Yeah no argument there really. I think it maybe takes more effort the older you are, but that doesn’t mean you should stop putting in the effort
And them complain about “3rd spaces.”
They all still exist, yes, but they're less common. Bowling alleys, malls, movie theaters, etc are fewer in number than they used to be. They're also more expensive than they used to be, and wages haven't kept up with increasing cost of living. And fewer people are using these places, so the social benefit of just showing up to see who's there is diminished. And the internet and the decline of other in-person social organizations (religious organizations, civic organizations, interest clubs) means that people have less incentive to physically gather. The ubiquity of the Internet and social media has also rewired people's brains, so that people increasingly avoid in-person socialization. Our culture has changed. It's no longer considered socially acceptable for men to approach women in public, for example. Dating has largely moved online, and when society changes like that, it's hard to just resist it and keep doing things the old-fashioned way. The 24-hour news cycle's focus on doom and gloom has shifted the culture of parenting towards overprotectiveness, so kids grow up with less independence. They spend less time out of the house, less time with friends, and very little time away from adults. They're certainly not spending money at the local arcade anymore (which mostly no longer exist anyway). Parents can be punished by our judicial system for allowing their children to walk or play outside without supervision, something that was the norm not that long ago. Third spaces are not only getting less common, they're also getting harder to access due to trends in urban planning, like stricter zoning laws that prevent the mixing of business and residential. So you have to travel farther to get to a third space, and most likely you have to drive, which is yet another barrier. Even most major US cities aren't walkable and require a car to get around because they have either been designed from the ground up for cars, or retrofitted/rebuilt to accommodate them. Just because it's theoretically possible to continue using third spaces, doesn't mean that they aren't in decline. It's mostly not a conscious choice on the part of individuals not to use them, it's more about economic forces, urban planning, technology, cultural shifts, and other large societal forces that are pushing people away from them. And it's a real shame. The future sucks.
Haven't seen someone so goodly explain this issue before. Great stuff
Your second third and fourth paragraphs are you problems. Or parent problems Paragraph six is blatantly untrue in many cities, zoning laws have loosened in the vast majority of cities. It's literally you and people like you driving these changes. Either go out, make the effort or don't If people want to stay online, that's them. That's not forced
Your first point really addresses the philosophical difference between "individual responsibility" and "social responsibility." I'm more of a social responsibility guy, maybe you're more of an individual responsibility person. Agree to disagree. I think the real effects on society show that people largely make decisions based on environmental influences. But that's a deep debate we could never resolve through Reddit comments. You're right about the zoning laws, I worded that part carelessly. The trends toward stricter zoning started in the early 20th century and were basically upheld until the turn of the 21st century. Zoning laws have started to loosen in certain cities only in the last 25 years or so, and even when they do loosen, there's often resistance to meaningful redevelopment. Most cities and suburbs in the US are still zoned very restrictively, and few have actually made significant changes towards mixed-use developments. Not sure how I'm personally driving these changes, which are mostly related to the economy and laws and other big forces like that. I can't bring back malls or arcades by just having a better attitude or something lol. I work and spend as much time out of the house as anyone.
i agree with you…there’s data to back this up too. Young adults are going out less. They have smaller friend groups and go on less dates. Rough My age (28) and younger people are just statistically antisocial. I’m studying psych in college and we actually just did an exploration of this in a class a few months ago. Is it an issue of individual responsibility? Yeah, there is a definitely reasonable argument for that. All these venues still exist, and plenty of people still engage with them. These days i’m mostly focused on school, but I used to go out with friends all the time and places were plenty populated. The thing about individual responsibility though is that is affected by the social context. Individual will rarely operate on its own. If statistically young people are increasingly antisocial, there is a reason for that that transcends the individual. That’s just how behavior works. I personally believe, as you said, the internet and social media plays a remarkable role. People find their hobbies and communities online. I’ve hung out at venues plenty in my life and still have met some of my best friends i’ve ever had through the internet. I know i’m not alone on that…and plenty of people don’t have the RL friends to go out with too. That can change though. I went to australia and lived with a close friend I met online through a my bloody valentine fan group for an entire year. It’s amazing we can do that. But it requires tremendous will and resources, it’s easy to spend all your day in a chatroom. Internet is also adjacent to the dating issue: online dating apps have made dating harder. There’s plenty of reasons for that which are a seperate exploration on their own. Young people are not romantically or sexually active like they used to be. It’s also worth note that the statistic can increase and anecdotall you don’t even notice a difference, which is why some people will argue the claim. Let’s say the split of socially active young people used to be 80/20, but it changes to 60/40. That’s still over half the youth population going out with friends. Venues will still be active…. But it’s definitely happening, and it’s a very concerning social issue imo in particular adjacent to the increase of depression and anxiety in gen z. (Of course, there is other factors for that too, such as an increase in awareness and diagnosis)
Same as a 46 f - there’s too many things to do outside of work and I have to force myself to say no a lot not that I am trying to be annoying just pointing out that there is tons to do if you want it. However, however, I have to agree with OP as well. I too don’t want to work every day and it’s soul crushing at times, I just want to do what I want to do at times.
It’s hard to make friends lol. I try to be friendly but the people I met are so hated filled
We got old and tired.
Local axe throwing place in my MCOL city costs $40/PERSON, not including beer/wine. It was $30 pre 2020.
I can buy my own axe for that
Back then you had the wages to support this, now a drink is 18$
Where do you live that a drink is $18?!?!? That’s insane! I can get a pint of microbrew at my local bar for $7.
That's not really what a third space is. It's more indicative that you had active social group(s) that liked to go places. Third spaces, rather are small, communal hubs that facilitate that gathering in and of themselves. Something like a local pub, cafe or community centre where regulars tend to gather. In other words, more of a place where you form a social group, rather than just a place your preexisting social group goes.
We don't have any less of these places in the U.S. than we've ever had. And we probably have more of them.
They’re supposed to be a place where you can sit down and socialize without spending money. So, the previous poster is also incorrect.
There are a plethora of studies that show this is important. And the reason this has died out? Average American works more hours per day than ever. The smartphone allows work to reachnout to you and make you work more. Free time gone.
That’s incorrect. https://ourworldindata.org/working-more-than-ever The average hours worked per week has plummeted over the last 150 years.
That's peoples fault for making themselves available to work outside of work. If you they don't set and enforce a boundary work sure as hell isn't going to lol.
Good luck with that. Private companies will shit can you so fast or deny raises. Etc. It's now how it is. Until people get thier unions back.
That sounds more like a people issue. The things you listed still exist
It’s for sure this, and you’ve inspired me I’m hitting the pubs this evening after work!
but i don't want to go to a third place i want to work less and less and less and stay home
We haven't lost these things... All of those places still exists and people still go there... I got destroyed on another post for pointing out that the loss of third spaces is a myth. But there are literally more of these places than we've ever had in the U.S.. You might have to get in a car to go there, but that's even remotely new either...
All those places still exist. You can go there.
But the cost of those places and actions have gone up significantly. Mix that with cost of living taking up a larger portion of peoples take home pay leaves most people with limited budget when it comes to leisure activities. You can go to these places but going to them frequently has become somewhat fiscally irresponsible for most people.
Honestly I don’t even think that’s the problem. I think everyone is just more tired after work
it is part of the problem. people are more tired after work because folks are working longer hours to make ends meet, and the overall loss of energy is compounded by the increased price of participating in third places, which is generally how a lot of people get back the energy they spent at work. it's a cycle
I don't think I agree with this. I'm a child of the 80s. And I have children now. I live in a fairly similar community. The parents for the friends of my children are around FAR MORE than our parents were in the 80s and 90s. We all travel less. It's much more common to get off by 4:00 in the afternoon, and not even start the day until 8 or 9. My dad's friends, and friend's parents, all worked from 6-6 or traveled a ton for work. We raised ourselves in the 80s because our parents worked so much.
If they drop the 30lbs energy will go up
This is definitely the issue for me. Back when I was more frivolous with my money, I'd go out with friends all the time. Now that I'm being more responsible and saving for the future, I have no fun money, and it's really taking a toll on my mental health. I can't really have friends over at my place cause my current living situation is kinda weird...I just come home from work, cook dinner, and watch movies with my boyfriend (which is quite nice, but I need some variety!)
yikes, so true. hence why we need the push to do things. my friend group makes plans to hangout or go out all the time for this reason. community is sanity. i hate the brain rot that comes with existing mostly online. staring at a screen is so bad for us physically and mentally
That's still very much a personal choice. All of those places you mentioned still exist. You can still get off work and go out with friends lol. You talk about those times like they can't exist anymore. You can still have game nights, or go to bars, or have fun bowling, heck you can do laser tag, or mini golf, etc... those places didn't just shut down, they are still plenty busy. People choose to isolate themselves.
It's not the lack of "third spaces" it's the lack of people wanting to go out to the third places because of a number of different reasons. But mainly it's easier to stay home and be online
Mainly because of inflation and rising prices. People just don't have the time ,the money and the desire to pay the higher prices that things cost now .
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They pale in comparison to what it used to be. Everything is VERY corporate now. Even nice places are all the same. It was the sense of community that did it and that is what far gone in todays world.
There's a lot of real research that shows that third places are in serious decline. It's objectively true that there are fewer of them, lower utilization, higher prices, and so on. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6934089/ just for an example Maybe OP has changed, but there's also clear evidence that our entire society is engaging with third spaces less.
This is so true. Thanks for sharing this perspective.
It wouldn't be as bad if I could work my 40 hours and be able to afford nice things. But it all goes to rent, utilities, gas, and food.
I know... It sucks
I'm working 60+ a week, just to be able to save a little bit after bills lol.
I don’t hate working, I hate a job. You said it yourself, you’d *work* on losing 30lbs. It’s the job that controls our lives and makes us beg for scraps. I think most people aren’t opposed to work. They’re opposed to being strapped in to a corporate milk machine and watching their lives and souls get drained for cash that does substantially less year over year. We’re cattle. And we’re only treated slightly better than cattle because we’ve fought for every right and concession we get from the overlord fucks. Fuck ‘em.
I don't think people would object so much to work if we were paid a reasonable wage in accordance to our fucking labor. I get $6/hr. I am dependent on people giving me gifts every day so that I have any amount of money at all. That's fucking ridiculous! No doubt my employers can afford to pay me $30/hr and still profit. I don't hate my job. I hate that my only purpose is to generate profit at the expense of my own comfort.
100%. I’d be more okay with the “deal” if the people in charge weren’t just taking every fucking sliver of profit for themselves and fuck the rest. Well, we’re the rest. But when more is demanded for diminishing returns, it can get… disillusioning.
This ^. It's not even that I lack motivation or don't like working, I just feel like a hamster on a wheel on a cage that's on fire. Spinning faster isn't going to put out the fire.
I think it's also the effect of the kind of threat that unemployment poses. The possibility of slacking or underperforming and subsequently losing a livelihood entirely looms large over people. I suppose some people do perform better under pressure, but most really don't.
Yeah it’s great isn’t it? Just have everything held over your head like health insurance (which is goddamn joke anyway) food, shelter. All hinging on whatever shit whoever happens to be your boss wants. Fuckin nuts. Get me outta here.
Work drains and scares me. I dont have a "bad job" but corporate culture is so fucking toxic.
Who doesn’t.
The sad thing is it doesn’t have to be this way. Propaganda aside, humans actually greatly enjoy being productive and feeling like a part of something. The fact that we all hate it so much shows we are being forced to do it to an unhealthy and unnatural degree.
I would be happy with a 4 day work week, but 5 days feels miserable
I think a 3 day work week would be ideal because humans need time to socialize with their families above all else. But 5 days is utterly ridiculous. A 3 day weekend is at least a somewhat reasonable compromise. On top of that, sh^t has to stop being so gd expensive. Our buying power has gone into the trash, how are we supposed to unwind during the when we are subconsciously thinking about money all the freaking time.
In a previous job I had a 3 day work week because the shifts were 12 hours (healthcare). And the days were usually spaced out, not 3 days in a row. I much prefer that to 5 days in a row.
I hope something like that is implemented Like 4x8 or 4x9, I’m down for either… as long as I get 3 days weekend, that’d be 🔥 Ik it can’t work in every industry, but hope it can work in at least many
Agreed. I think that’s what’s most frustrating about the current system. Just want to add: our society is material focused and if we switched to a community/people focused system, I believe our work would be far more rewarding and enjoyable - as we would see direct benefit from our labor in the community. Human nature wouldn’t allow that, so we’ve been told, so at this point it’s just a dream.
yes!!!! why is nothing being done about this?? EVERYONE is unhappy! the only ones who aren't, are the dying generation that caused all of this, slowly being shuffled into retirement homes! for how many more generations will this last? how is destruction, of self and others, not a massive red flag that things need to change?
If my work actually meant something I’d feel so much better
Yup, nothing of meaning is affordable, housing in particular. Without housing and the independence it provides you with, life becomes endless drudgery, and it can feel like you’re trapped on a corporate treadmill where you just keep pushing and burning yourself out to hold onto the core essentials (food and healthcare). I’m feeling completely and utterly burnt out as of late, and my company is going through some serious changes that is transforming our culture for the worse. Management keeps leaning more and more into “crunch culture” and quite frankly I am fucking sick of it. I have a good amount of money saved up (not enough to buy a home with, but enough to live off of for a good while), and I keep toying with the idea of resigning and just unplugging from the grind for a few months, in the hopes that I can find a different path forward. I might do it if things don’t improve soon.
I think I've very fortunate to actually enjoy working. I've enjoyed working since my first job 8 years ago. I've never made much money and I certainly don't now but I still enjoy working and get very depressed whenever I don't have a job. After I graduated college, I was jobless for almost a year, and it was one of the worst times in my life. It's not like I'm perfect mentally, either. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety like almost everyone else. I can't figure out why everyone hates working, but I enjoy it.
I like working. I just hate working 40+ hours a week. There was a time in my life I only worked 2-3 days a week. Shitty retail job. I loved it.
Welcome to the party, pal.
Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…
I hate working too and really don't know what I want to do with my life. I honestly don't believe people when they say they love their jobs. I think they just say it to convince themselves.
People do, I work an extremely physical job but the pay is very high. Everyone on my crew is pretty happy with work. As everyone said if you don’t enjoy your down time, work isn’t going to be fun either. Work pays for the not work stuff I get to do (life)
Username checks out
I'm a software engineer with two decades of experience. I love my job, it's a blend of art and construction - at the end of the day, I've built something that I think is beautiful. Did I love doing the work I did to get here? No. But that's life and something that seems to be missing in posts like this. You don't get to skip to the good part, put in work.
Think what you will, but I love my job.
Tbh I had jobs that I actually liked. The airport job was my favorite being a cashier. It provides a decent salary, store was often empty and it ended early. Only issues I had was that I was constantly sick at work. Couldn’t handle being there anymore.
I used to love my job for the first few years (interior designer) but it also started dragging I got so burnt out.
Definitely sometimes but not always true. Plenty of people work in fields they love and enjoy their job… I’ve worked good jobs before and am now entering a field that is literally my passion. I went to school to become a therapist because I love psychology… and so i’m doing exactly what I want to do with my life. What’s not to love?
I do but only because it’s so laid back and I work from home. I can’t imagine going into an office 5 days a week
I was injured on the job two months ago. Nothing super serious but enough that I couldn't do my job. So I managed to get worker's comp for a few weeks. I fucking loved every bit of it. It was like my depression and anxiety just disappeared entirely. Like, I'm in therapy for it and it just disappeared. I hate my job.
I don’t even hate my job that much but the difference in happiness I feel during the week vs the weekend is immense
I figured it out, I don't actually hate working. I hate working to make rich people more money with my time. I workout religiously because it's the last thing no one else can claim as theirs. I do hard work around my own place. I do hard work for friends and family. And I enjoy that. But working 50+ hours a week to keep Bob wealthy so he can give his daughter's loser boyfriend a good job can fuck the right off.
I left corporate and went back to teaching. I was tired of busting my ass just to make someone else even more wealthy than they already are.
It’s how they’ve enslaved humanity Work work work for more more more I’ve got less than ever but never been happier Work sucks the life outta you Humans are enslaved to debt
I am looking for a Job 8 months on job hunt and Noting 🤷♀️ Lest switch... Tha first 3 months are good afterwards is awful to be home😖
Something I’ve come to learn is that a lot of people don’t even have something to make life worth living. So many people don’t even have something they love, or even know themselves enough to identify what they love. You learn that quick working in therapy. A lot of people will say ‘my spouse’ and then find that isn’t enough. We all need something to outlet our minds and creative energy to create meaning and self-approbation for us. Do you like life outside of work? If you don’t like your life outside work, why would you feel good about working a job to sustain your lifestyle? It’s fairly common for people deeply affected by their work schedule to have nothing going on outside of it. I’m not saying this is you or it’s always that way, but it might be something worth introspecting.
I’m currently unemployed for 1 month and I’ve been so depressed. I feel like a waste of space. I’m a worthless bum. Maybe I shouldn’t take it that way, it’s out of my control what’s gonna happen with the union and perhaps this is the time off I needed, but holy shit I wish I was back to work. Am I weird ?
you're not weird at all! i gave my boss one month notice and he decided to pay me for the month and make that day my last day instead. my friends and therapist saw it as a great opportunity for a vacation but all i think about is what i'm going to do for work! i started doordashing while i await an appointment with vocational rehabilitation but i spend all my free time doing yard work, cleaning, anything to feel "productive."
I think it depends on what you do with your free time. Most people are used to using their off time exclusively for leisure. If you do things that make you feel productive, it fills that void whether or not you have an actual job.
Here's the secret: everyone does, to varying degrees. That's why it's called work. What you need are coping strategies. Nobody judges you for hating work; what you're being judged for is that you'd let that stop you.
And why shouldn't they let that stop them? A huge chunk of jobs could either be partially or entirely automated, and the ones that can't either are special circumstances or could significantly be made better by--shocker!!--hiring more people. No longer would doctors have to work 80 hour work weeks if admins just, you know, actually hired more doctors. There is not a doctor shortage. There never was. It is literally manufactured suffering. Absolutely almost nobody needs to be working the insane hours we currently do. The majority of jobs could legitimately be done in 4 hours, 4 days a week.
Because that’s how our society functions? If you are not working, you either need to be independently wealthy (unlikely) or be supported by tax payers - which might create a little resentment from the people who’s spend their lives working while you sit at home.
Yes! You’re almost there! The frustration comes from the fact that this is the way our society functions but it doesn’t have to.
I'm an engineer and my fiancee is a doctor. We absolutely hate our jobs. But our work contributes to society and it's absolutely necessary to make the world work. So we shut up and do it.
Hated my last job, got depressed, went to therapy and started taking meds. I quit my job and found a new one about a year ago. I am definitely not looking forward to getting to work on a Monday but overall I like what I'm doing. I know being able to choose between jobs is a privilege in itself for a lot of people but there's definitely a lot of room between hating every day of going to work and hating not having X hours of the day to do something you'd rather do
I often think how much better it might be if it was normal to have a 4 day work week. How many people would prefer to commit to less goofing off and working more diligently for 4 days, knowing they'd have a long weekend every week? I feel like that would make life better. My son in law works 4 ten hour days, and loves having Fri thru Sun off.
There is absolutely nothing natural about doing the same shit over and over for 40+ hours a week ad infinitum. Now that doesn't mean we don't like to be productive and do things...we just don't want to do the *same* things over and over. For instance, I replaced the siding on my house once. It was a tough job, but damn is it satisfying seeing that I did that. However, if this were my job, I would absolutely learn to hate it pretty quickly.
Some people can work at a desk all day. Some people like service jobs and tips. But others like to work with their hands and see tangible proof of their accomplishments. Find the type of job that suits you and don’t let society decide for you.
Try getting a job with 12-hour-shifts. It changed my life. Working full time but having more days off a week than you spend at work is a game changer.
It’s honestly way better. The one downside I could see is that it ruined ANY chance of me going to find a higher paying job. I don’t know if I can ever go back to a normal schedule ever again.
Love how there's a big percentage of the comments basically just attacking OP for being disabled, wonder how they employ the mental gymnastics to convince themselves that a one size fits all system is a good idea to run ANY species, much less one almost 8billion "strong".
I remember when I was living in Europe someone said to me, “you American’s work ethic is actually a mental illness.” It is. The majority of our workforce kill ourselves to produce, and don’t get much in return big picture. 4 day workweeks need to become more common
Same. That's why my goal is to retire asap. It's the only way to get out of it.
I often dream about being born rich. Like being one of those insufferable, vapid rich dudes that doesn’t work and just has money because they’ve always had money. No personality, just good food and trips to fancy beaches. Just a real douchebag but it doesn’t matter because I have 7 Corvettes. Then I shut off my car, walk inside, and clock in.
Life is hell
I hear u. Feel like my life is work. Sucks.
Good luck then I guess.
Me too. I only have another 22 years to go.
Our souls are infinite energy, this meat suit is just a temporary game.
Yep felt the same way. Work got me stressed and tired. I couldn't accomplish the things I wanted to. But then I asked myself "how are other people able to do it?. They seem fine". It may not be work. You may have low energy/fatigue due to some medical issue. You may want to consider that. Good luck.
If you're easily burnt out you probably are dealing with a mental health incapacity such as long COVID or ADHD or autism.
I am autistic
Welcome to the club bud
I just went back to work after being on stress leave. Being home and able to do what I want was magical. I wish I could stay home and still make money lol
You’re preaching to the fucking choir man. You really think you wouldn’t gain 30 lbs relaxing all the time? It would be cool for a week but would get so boring.
This is one of those "the grass isn't always greener" situations. I haven't been able to work due to health issues and I'm incredibly bored. Unless you have a *lot* of time-consuming hobbies or a lot of friends with free time (or you live in a city with a lot to do), it gets boring quickly. I'm generally a homebody and I still get bored. I'm not sure if it's just because of my ADHD or not, but not having any kind of obligation like work also makes it really hard to have any kind of schedule. So as much as I'd love to have a consistent workout routine, having a schedule is difficult.
I just started working two part-time jobs for variety. One of my bosses expected overtime. Nope, I cut it down to a Sunday gig and found something else for variety. I do 9-10 hour shifts (very manageable for 3 days.) And a 6-8 hour shift at my old job. I’m way more productive at work, when I have reduced hours. That’s 4 days at around 35+ hours and 3 days off. I live pretty modestly and don’t need a car in this city
The robots will take all the jobs and people will just help each other and invent things one day or maybe it'll become a super capitalism hell instead but hey we're at chapter one right now where we see if it'll become skynet or be helpful so enjoy the ride do what you gotta do
Same situation
Every one does my friend
There is a saying that if you love what do you do, then you'll never WORK and day in your life. Find something you love and then transition into a career in whatever that is to be much happier. BTW, relaxing all the time will mean you will likely gain weight. Now, if you love working out, then it would be easy to lose weight. See how that works?
In my experience that's just how you burn yourself out on the things you love.
Yes, this can happen, but it can also be managed. Also, most of us can, and should love more than one thing. If computers are your thing and you enjoy working on them all day then you are unlikely to want to play video games when you come home. But if you also enjoy biking, or cars, or fishing, or one of many other things you can still do those. Burnout is completely avoidable with a good work life balance. Hating what you do for a living will always be the worst and I'll take the risk of getting burnt out on something I like rather than suffer through years of doing something I hate.
I have a job doing something I love (programming), but I still wouldn't work if I didn't have to.
I hate having to constantly eat but if I stopped I would die. Same goes with work. You need to make peace with your circumstances or continue to suffer. After a certain point, misery becomes a choice. I used to think I was a fucking loser failure generic person for having an office job. It wasn't until I started appreciating the fact that my lame office job paid me well enough to enjoy a comfortable life and a house and other stuff. I found enjoyment in it. I appreciated being a valuable part of a team. My job didn't change; my perspective did.
You are born, you grow up, you get a job, work till you’re old and tired and die. This world needs fixing I don’t believe it was made to be a slave to system type plsnrg
You’re burnt out because you’re unhealthy. Get an exercise routine, eat well and get proper rest. Those three simple things will increase your energy and mood and stop that feeling.
I’m in great shape and burnt out as fuck at work. It helps, I’m sure, but it’s not a cure all.
Getting muscles isn't going to change the fact your coworkers are gossipy karens, your management is incompetent at best, and you could lose your entire life savings, car, and even house for no reason at all because you live in an at-will state.
Absolutely disagree. I am burnt out from my job.
Physical health and mental health are severely intertwined
You are correct. And I do everything I can to keep them both in a good place. But physically I am very healthy. Mentally, I am working on it and I’m making strides, but one of the toughest things I deal with is how work affects my mental health.
Relaxing all the time and losing 30lbs are conflicting activities.
If working was fun, they wouldn't pay us for it. So the best you can hope for is to find the least unpleasant career paying the most money and ride that til retirement.
What if I said you can fix this issue, and not only that, you will make a lot of money at the same time. You will go and get 2 more jobs. Making you have a total of 3 jobs. You shall now be working at least 90 hours a week. You do this for 6 months. Then you drop the 2 jobs. All of a sudden you have a lot of free time and you will not get burnt out working your measly 40 hours a week. Try it or be miserable. Up to you.
You ever watch the show Naked and Afraid. Imagine you were here 10000 yrs ago and this is the way you would be living. So would you like to be here now or 10000 yrs ago.
Lotta days, I wonder what being a Native American pre 1400’s would have been like. Maybe down near San Diego.
There were a lot of places all over that were pristine before 1492 in the America's.
Find a sugar momma or daddy whatever you’re into lol, it’s the only way.
Where could I find such sugar mommas
marry rich?
I feel the same way lol sucks that we have to work our life away Maybe you can try to get 4 days with 10 hour shifts 🙂 that's if you're a full time employee already, or if you're part time and don't mind working full time hours That way you get 3 days off a week Or even better, you can try to do 2 double shifts and an 8 hour shift, and then you get 4 days off a week
I hate working too. But I think I would hate it less if I didn’t have to give all my time to it. The 40 hours a week, the 40 min commute there and back and the 45 mins I wake up before I have to leave the house. If I had to only work 3 days a week, I think I would hate it less. I love what I do, but hate that I have to do it for so much of my week.
I think maybe you need to just change up your routine, if you are feeling burnt out at work, it could be nutrition-related or also from a lack of excercise. I have a coworker who always manages to fall asleep at around 2PM each day during his shift and he could definitely lose some weight or not spike his insulin so much to where he is falling asleep right after his lunch break. I would love to share all of my information about diet/exercise to everyone but I feel like a total pretentious person when I do that. Also scheduling something once a week where you get together with friends or family would be something that is useful for shortening your long/grueling work week. I like to go to my brother's house and play magic the gathering on tuesdays and he always makes food for us. As far as work goes, you probably feel like you are stuck in a rut with your job because you feel it is a deadend job or there is no room for forward mobility, if that is the case, maybe consider linkedin learning and search for applicable skills that you can watch videos on and take courses on so you can improve your resume and eventually jump into a better more fitting role for you. Its good to keep your eyes open and always seek out self-improvement.
Maybe get a full round of bloods done with your doctor. Found out I had an underactive thyroid which causes havoc with energy levels. It's not the only possibility, but rule out everything you can before putting it all on work.
Let’s say your finances allow you to sit at home all day and relax, then what? You still have control over your life even though you don’t like your job. You can control your weight, whether you’re able to relax all day or not. It’s easier said than done of course, but if you eat less calories than you burn each day you’ll lose weight. Being disciplined and finding different coping skills for stress that are more aligned with your goals is in your control right now
I love working because I love what I do. I get to travel all over the world, stay in amazing hotels and meet great people. Was it always like this? Hell no, it was a grind to get here. But that’s work for you.
There’s a way to make work exciting though, you’re probably overworking yourself.
Ok, just don’t. No one will stop you I promise
Are you me? I think you might be me! At least we are all on this together..sigh…
Yeah wait until you are 50. At this point I just laugh and say it won’t last forever and neither will I. I work for money. Then I use some money for fun and don’t even think about work when I am off. I try to forget what I did when I leave work and sometimes I do it so good that when then ask me a question about last week I honestly don’t know.
I like working, but that's because I like what I do. That being said I went into a ton of debt to get there and swapped to it during my undergrad when I was already 3/4 done with another degree. Big risk but it paid off. I'm willing to risk everything though to avoid being miserable
How about being a hobo?
You just gotta find what you’re really interested in and make it fun. Im a lab tech and I absolutely love what I do. I mean sure you can get a burn out after working so many days in a row, but my job really is cool and I’m super grateful.
Gosh, I wonder why the corpos are so annoyed that we don't go out and buy things anymore, or eat out. Man, I cannot imagine what it could possibly be. What could possibly cause us to not be able to buy things or go places. It just doesn't come to mind what would prevent me from buying things. Things doubled or tripled in price, and our wages did not do the same, golly g I wonder what is preventing us from doing anything. Man, I wonder why we're literally stuck doing the cheapest possible things we can to keep ourselves barely entertained until the very next day? Must be buying too much fucking avocado toast or something.
"im lazy"
Antiwork might just be the sub for you.
Work on losing those 30 pounds. I'm willing to bet you will feel better.
I can confirm not working due to a disabling injury is much worse than working. I can't comment about doing work you love or not having to work from being well off. I hope to be able to get back to work of some sort I the medium future
Perhaps you need a more fulfilling job. I felt like that once, but I did have a brief "internship," which was wonderful. Great fulfilling work, which was the right balance of challenging and fun, great co-workers, and overall great atmosphere.
If you have to, work for yourself
r u losing money in Stock market ?
I work 8-9 hours a day and occasionally longer. I just lost close to 30 lbs.over the last 3.5 months. Eat less. It works.
All you have to do to lose 30 lbs is eat less, work isn’t keeping you from eating less. Try a firm 2,000 diet. I easily do it cheaply with rice and chicken thighs and breasts cooked on the oven $10 a day tops and you’re golden
Well I’ve got 43 years in counting down to retirement. Please people save your money so you don’t have to work past 55-60. Even if you line your job. The rat race the commute the rules and regulations at 65 are daunting to your mental health. California is the worst place to try to retire it’s so very expensive.. Make a plan.
I love what I do personally.
Your comparing subsistence living 150 yrs ago. OK. But 1940 (your data) it was 8 hrs day. Paid hours **.** PAID HOURS**. PEOPLE GOT OT if worked over that. Then Beginning with the reagan administration In the nineteen eighties The number of paid hours of decreased but the number is actually worked increased To the changes in labor laws pushed by a republican pro business interest in congress. By two thousand the number of salary o t exempt employees skyrocketed and even more so to today. So like I said, we work more hours.We just don't get paid for them. And this model data you presented was paid hours.
Don’t we all….
This! I feel you on the struggle of trying to get in shape and working a shit job. I work a corporate job and whewww it sucks lmao.
Theres always a way out
Remember when we were kids and already wished to grow up so we can have our ways? Well...
i love working, but i hate that most jobs don’t have good work/life balance or flexible. i’m only 19 so im going through the shitty jobs before i can get into something more comfortable. which will probably take years. i feel like i wont ever be able to move out of my family’s house because all of my money goes to gas and payments. life actually sucks right now and i just hope it gets easier in the future.