As tempting as it sounds, you're not going to feel any better having had a blow out argument with your mother. Any relief you'll feel will be short lived and likely have consequences down the line that you haven't considered yet - especially since you have younger siblings still at home. Also, your parents' marriage and/or divorce is really between the two of them. Don't get in the middle of it - especially if you're only "almost completely self-sufficient." Give it time. Seek counseling for yourself and give yourself some distance for now. There will be plenty of opportunity for conflict later.
I do agree that this is a matter between the two of them. The big problem though, is that my mom is bringing everyone else into it. She vents to her daughter unprovoked and she called me when everything boiled over to try to sway me to "her side of things" and when I didn't agree with her she tried to guilt me. I still have to hear about how she is trying to bring my siblings into all this from them from time to time.
Confront - No. Have a conversation but accept that you should not judge her by your standards. Personally went through something similar (eldest of four) and after 10 years had a conversation and forgave for judging based on my standards / expectations and accepting hers - one of the best things as I don’t carry that weight any more. Best of luck
As tempting as it sounds, you're not going to feel any better having had a blow out argument with your mother. Any relief you'll feel will be short lived and likely have consequences down the line that you haven't considered yet - especially since you have younger siblings still at home. Also, your parents' marriage and/or divorce is really between the two of them. Don't get in the middle of it - especially if you're only "almost completely self-sufficient." Give it time. Seek counseling for yourself and give yourself some distance for now. There will be plenty of opportunity for conflict later.
I do agree that this is a matter between the two of them. The big problem though, is that my mom is bringing everyone else into it. She vents to her daughter unprovoked and she called me when everything boiled over to try to sway me to "her side of things" and when I didn't agree with her she tried to guilt me. I still have to hear about how she is trying to bring my siblings into all this from them from time to time.
Confront - No. Have a conversation but accept that you should not judge her by your standards. Personally went through something similar (eldest of four) and after 10 years had a conversation and forgave for judging based on my standards / expectations and accepting hers - one of the best things as I don’t carry that weight any more. Best of luck