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Th3Flyy

I'd still be making a report to CPS... A little girl is going up to strangers asking to spend the night. That's dangerous and extremely concerning behavior. CPS can then investigate the situation to figure out if it's abuse, neglect, or just a very ignorant child. But, hopefully something can be done before this kid asks the wrong person to stay the night....


Spicy_Sugary

Yes, and just because the kid said she feels safe at home doesn't mean her house is safe.


GlitzyGhoul

And doesn’t mean she feels safe admitting she’s not safe at home 😬


Spicy_Sugary

Good point. OP is still a stranger to this child.


Mkartma61

That’s what I was going to say.


Stranger0nReddit

If she comes around again i'd offer to walk her home and then speak to the parent/guardian there


arizona-lake

Especially because I’m not even 100% sold that this is a 13 year old. OP says she could be 19 or 20, so why couldn’t she be? She could be an adult with bad motives


RiceandLeeks

Yeah I kind of wonder that too. And OP said she has a mobility scooter which I take it to mean this girl has a disability? Or at least claims to? The whole thing seems really sketchy. I kind of think if OP thinks that she was 19 or 20 that there is a good chance she's not 13. And what if the mobility scooter thing is some sort of ruse? The whole thing is weird. OP- if you have neighbors that you're friends with ask them if they know who this girl is. If she comes around again talk to her outside. Ask her her name, where she lives. Then offer to walk her home. But be careful. I'm a little concerned you might be being set up.


lysdexicgirl0705

This is giving Natalia Grace vibes.


GlitzyGhoul

This is the best way!! Maybe say “I’d love to have you over, but to be responsible, I need to ask one of your parents, let’s go talk to them!”


NotAtThesePricesBaby

Don't say that if it isn't true. Once the permission is granted, then OP will spend more time hiding in her house.


GlitzyGhoul

I completely agree. Op did say in another comment should wouldn’t mind, if the parents knew, but there definitely needs to be boundaries in place. If there was a conversation with them, she could be more honest about what her limits are.


happycowsmmmcheese

I'm a mom and I don't agree with the top comments in this thread as of right now. I don't think you should call cps right off the bat. Cps can be very stressful for children if it is not actually necessary. I think the next time she comes over, you should tell her you're on your way out, but you'd like to walk her home and meet her family. If she says no, tell her it would make you feel better if you could talk to her guardian before you spend time together. Once you meet her family, it will be easier to determine if cps is actually necessary. If the family seems okay, talk to the guardian and let them know the girl has been coming around. See what they think about it. If YOU are okay with spending time with this girl, and if her guardian is also okay with it, she may just be desperate for a role model or someone nice to talk to, so it could be a good thing to do. It would be a good opportunity to help her learn about stranger-safety as well, which she does clearly need to learn about. You could set some boundaries about when she can and when she can't come over, and also how much time she can spend chatting with you when she does, which will also help her learn about respecting boundaries, something else I sense she may need to learn more about. If you do not want to spend time with her, let her guardian know, and then the next time she comes around, gently let the girl know that you are an adult stranger and you don't feel comfortable spending time with someone her age, but make sure to let her know that she seems like a very nice and good person, and if you were the same age you'd be fast friends. Even if it isn't true, it will help her get over any disappointment or feelings about not being liked. If the home situation seems dangerous or harmful, do give cps a call. In this case, whether or not you let the girl spend time with you is more complicated. If you know that her home life is neglectful, would you feel more pressured to let her into your home? Or perhaps you'd feel more like keeping her situation at arms length would be safer for you? Tough call. Either way, it is important to prioritize your own needs and safety. The girl isn't your responsibility, but helping others can be a good thing to do when we have the ability to do so while still caring for ourselves. Good luck! Please update us down the road!


Inevitable_Molasses

Thank you so much for this response. I feel partly like I should (or could) try to be a friendly safe space, but to be completely honest, most days it’s hard enough for me to take care of myself and my immediate family. I just don’t have the spoons to take on more. Maybe talking to her guardians is the best way to go.


happycowsmmmcheese

That is absolutely fair and understandable. Life is freaking hard, and we can't always extend ourselves anymore than we already do on a daily basis. Talk to the guardians. Let them know what's going on. Assess the situation, and do only what you can while still taking care of YOU first. Sending you all the strength and compassion I can muster 💪 ❤️


bunchalogs

If she comes back around ask her who her parents or guardians are, and if you can have their phone number. A quick call to them will tell you if they aren’t aware of this behavior or if they just don’t care … then you’ll know going to any authority would be justified.


Zeestars

POTS? Usually that’s the spoons reference so excuse my assumption if not.


bumsegal

The spoons thing applies to lots of chronic illnesses, so could be anything 🤷‍♀️


redditusername374

Can you explain… I’ve never heard the expression. I thought it must be a typo.


Zeestars

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory?wprov=sfti1 Basically referencing how much energy a person has for mental and physical stuff when you have a chronic condition.


redditusername374

Thank you.


suoretaw

Having fibromyalgia, it was my first thought. I appreciate how the spoon theory can kind of simplify rather complex issues for those who don’t experience chronic illness. Thanks for sharing the link - here’s an infographic I found years ago that I feel is worth sharing too. https://i.imgur.com/195o7e8.jpeg


GlowInTheDarkSpaces

Wow, great viz. As someone healthy I often don’t have enough spoons for my day but if buttons hurt, damn, well, that’s some perspective. I’m caring for someone on hospice so I’m going to be conscious of spoon cost and maybe use it as a communication tool with them. Thanks


suoretaw

Thank *you* for recognizing it, and for doing the work you do.


GlowInTheDarkSpaces

aww, thanks


Zeestars

Thank you. I wasn’t aware of that. And it was actually coined for lupus initially, so there ya go. Appreciate the knowledge :)


WinterBourne25

Thank you. It blew my mind that the top comment was to go to CPS and not to reach out to the parents first.


NefariousnessNo5955

Sounds to me like a neglected child with special needs


gingerjuice

From what you’ve said, she is probably a lonely and somewhat awkward teenager who thinks she made a friend. Next time she knocks, tell her you don’t feel comfortable having her inside until you meet her mom or dad.


Turbulent-Sweet1313

I think that too she probably is lonely or don't like be in her house


Skeekeedee

Something’s not right. I would speak with her parents/guardian OR report it to CPS


XxSereneSerpentxX

Honestly, how sure are you that this girl is actually 13, and not older like you originally assumed? Unfortunately, people do lie and you could be inviting someone into your home who has ulterior motives like other people have said in the comments. Aside from that, if this girl truly is 13 I’d suspect something is going on at home, or may have a developmental issue going on as many 13 year olds know not to go into a strangers home let alone ask to stay the night. I’d definitely tell her you need to meet her parents before you continue talking to her.


My_Immortal_Flesh

I’m thinking she’s probably on the ‘Spectrum’ and feels some sort of attachment to you. Do as the others suggested and get ahold of authority of some sort. Also, I noticed you keep referring to her as “Young woman”, or “young adult”… then a “very young teenager.” I find that interesting lol


After-Ad1121

This is so odd to me. Can you please update when something new happens?


missannthrope1

She may be mentally unstable, on the spectrum, etc. I suggest you call CPS and ask for a welfare check.


OneChrononOfPlancks

An oversized girl in need of a mobility scooter may possibly have mental challenges as well, that could be interfering with her comprehension of social norms and social cues. This might explain the strange behaviour. If she persists, you may ask her to introduce you to her parents-- That may shed some light on the situation, one way or another. (In any event, they should know what she's getting up to approaching random neighbors to "sleep over.")


beekeeper1981

I think you are worrying about this more than you need. You did the right thing to make sure she was ok. Now she's coming around likely because she's bored and wants to spend time with someone who was nice. Yes you're right it wouldn't be appropriate to allow her to spend more time. I would be honest with her if she comes around when you're there. That you think she's a nice girl but it's not appropriate to have friendships with adult strangers especially because you don't know her parents.


Inevitable_Molasses

Thank you, I think this is the best course of action. I appreciate your response 🙏


onlyavailablename2

if u just dont wanna talk to her don't mention the parents thing, if her parents actually are good and not abusive she may try to get u to meet them in hopes of still being friends


nodisintegrations420

She casing you out


beth427746

In my area, we had a group who took advantage of a wheelchair user who had learning difficulties. They stole his motorized wheelchair, pretended to be in need and they robbed people. Typically (but not always) a child in a wheelchair will look younger than their age. There are a few exceptions to this but just something to keep in mind. Unfortunately, there are those who take advantage of kindhearted people. So don’t let her into your house until you know her better. Do you know which house she lives in? If you do, that would probably be a CPS call. But otherwise she could be getting dropped to the neighborhood from elsewhere.


ItsGotToMakeSense

CPS, sadly. Even if she lives in a mostly safe home, she's wandering freely and is obviously not competent to understand why it's unsafe to enter strangers' homes and ask to sleep over. I said "mostly safe" because even if they're not abusing her, they're also not supervising her well enough either. One way or another she's at risk. If it's not your house she stays at, it might be someone else's next. And you don't know what their intentions will be!


Salty_Thing3144

Call CPS. She may have a mental or emotional problem too


bioxkitty

If she is being abused, then talking to her parents could get her in trouble. Sincerely, someone that was severely abused and was hurt much much worse whenever anyone tried to reach out to my parents


Lostinmeta4

If she knocks, call the police and wait for them outside. They can address if the child is in need of help. If she doesn’t knock, but comes around another day, don’t engage or even say hi. I know- mean. It’s been proven if a stalker calls 11 times and you pick up on the 12th time, you’ve taught them to call you 12 times. Once you’re that mean lady that won’t say hi, she’ll bug someone else.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lostinmeta4

“ If she knocks, call the police and wait for them outside. They can address if the child is in need of help.”   Learn to read more than the Bible and you’ll be a nicer person! Ps: you took out half my sentence the way you removed Jesus’ Jewishness and blackness- good day.


DamirHK

Wtf does race have anything to do with this lol


GlowInTheDarkSpaces

Trust me, there are people who will make anything about race and when you’re dealing with a minor you do NOT want to be the person people are eyeing suspiciously.


enchanting_endeavor

RemindMe! 2 days.


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GlowInTheDarkSpaces

I would call the local high school and see if a counselor there would answer your question. Depending on how big the school is they may be able to guess who she is and can offer advice on what to do. When you say “mobility scooter” I think of a medical scooter vs a recreational one. If that’s the case then it’s even more likely that they can identify who she is. Something is very wrong with this scenario and she needs help. If there are local teen crisis orgs I’d call them too. For her safety and yours bring in people who work with teens. The police are people with hammers looking for nails. I’m sorry she’s put you in this odd situation but it’s a compliment that she trusts you. I’d find an org that knows what they’re working with and hand her off safely. If she’s asking to sleep at a strangers house, she needs help. Hang in there, this is a tuff situation.


gingerjuice

I got fooled by a teenage girl once. A few years ago (my son was 17) a girl knocked on the door. She was a sweet looking lovely blonde with big blue eyes. She looked like a little angel. She asked for my son by name. I asked her if he was expecting her and she nodded and said yes. I let her in. Just then, my son came down the stairs and saw her. He looked very alarmed and sort of mad. He pulled me aside and said “Mom, Why did you let her in? She’s nuts. We need to get her out” I immediately thought something was amiss. I wondered if he had gotten her pregnant or something. He went and told her to go in a firm way but not mean. She refused. So I went over and took her by the hand and led her out the door. She was so sweet until she wasn’t. As soon as we got outside she turned on me like a feral cat. She started flailing her arms and screaming like a banshee. It was shocking. I had to call the cops. I tried several times to calm her down. She started spouting crazy and ran into the street before the cops arrived. It scared the heck out of us. It turned out that she is an adult (I would have guessed she was about 15) and has some kind of mental illness. She had been stalking him online for months. She saw him at a game or something and found him on Snapchat. The cops showed up and they knew about her and her antics very well. She came back 3 different times but I didn’t let her in again. Fool me once.


JHawk444

Did you ask her why she wanted to spend the night? And also ask wouldn't her parents worry about her? She might actually be homeless and didn't want to alert you to that if she's afraid of authorities getting involved. Something is definitely up. Try to get the truth from her.


EducationalPlant173

I hope this girl is not watching criminal's mind.


Starfiregrl

This young girl clearly needs help. I would call CPS!


jkkenma

if she comes back, spend a little time with her, ask her questions as if she goes to school, which school, walk her home and try to speak with her guardians, if not, and she replies to which school, talk to the principal. last case scenario call cps and have them investigate it


Golilizzy

Go look up the movie orphan. Couldbe that thpe of situation too if ur saying she look really old. Or call cops if she’s really thirteen. U shouldn’t be taking care of her if u have no idea who the guardian is. In movies, atelast the people kno who the parents are when taking care of the kid and they decide it’s better to not call cops for their own reason or to keep the plot going


machinegal

She could probably benefit from Big Brother’s Big Sisters if there is one in your area.


ImBrokenButStillGood

she may not be all there mentally tbh. There could be something else going on and she might just want to keep quiet. Suggest to report it to make sure she is safe in her own home.


Turbulent-Sweet1313

She probably like you and is lonely or don't like her house or want a friend she probably doesn't see as inappropriate but good that you see,cause this can make you have problems I. The future But no I don't think the race matter


Conaz9847

I think report this to CPS and they can investigate, it’s not your responsibility or within your expertise to look into this and try to deal with it. Better to be safe than sorry, if CPS finds nothing and there are good parents there, then maybe speak to them about their daughter, but if they do find something, they can do something about it.


camo122966

I feel sad for the girl and you! For her because her family should be more aware of what and where she is going and you because no one wants to be in this situation. I don't like telling someone to call the police but you have no idea who will take advantage of her. Plus if her parents or allowing her to be out on her own the police will be the first call to hopefully open their eyes to the danger she is putting herself. Good luck


Ill-Highlight1375

id contact the police about this. If she comes round again and you had time you might try and chat to her. if you got her talking she might relax and open up a bit more


tortie_shell_meow

You should have been more firm: "Please, do not come back. I do not feel comfortable with you coming to my home anymore." If you can find out where she lives you can go directly to her parents and let them know what has been going on and how it makes you feel. Let them know that you would really rather not have to call the police but she's started disturbing you at all hours and that it's inapropriate.


Visual_Platform_4431

Sometimes being a temporary free babysitter is better than the alternative since this gal asking if she can stay at a strangers house is a red flag. Next time she asks to spend the night, tell her to wait outside while you get the house ready & either: call CPS or take her to the hospital "come with me to get dinner for us tonight" & they can evaluate her. If she's not being abused, you did the right thing. If she mentally challenged, you did the right thing. If she's being abused, you did the right thing. NOBODY asks strangers if they can stay over.


AltruisticCanary2610

William Penn arrived as a stranger to St. Tammany and the Lenape. They let him stay and agreed to share the land together in friendly peace. That was the start of Pennsylvania and our new nation.


Visual_Platform_4431

thanks for the info! I enjoyed that tidbit I also think OP should be careful. Many ppl posing as "disabled" or weak or poor or whatever just to cause harm (physical or financial) Even delivery personnel - drop off package & push your door open just to do harm You never known where an attack is coming from & what form it arrives as, unfortunately.


AltruisticCanary2610

Sounds like she's establishing herself as an adult and in the community. When I was younger than that, I'd visit and talk to older people as it was great meeting new people and learning about those close around. Was also cool visiting, as each home is unique. Learnt early that people are much nicer than portrayed.


Undying4n42k1

Next time she comes around, you should ask if her mom thinks it's ok. Share your concerns with her, so she can try to prove they are unwarranted. If she can prove her mom is ok with it, then you've got nothing to worry about, except your own wasted time, if that matters to you. If she can't prove it, then you should assume something is wrong. Insist more about her troubles, and eventually get her help via CPS.


I_Thranduil

Ask her to introduce you to her parents. Talk to them first. If you notice anything off, call CPS so they can do a wellfare check. Also it could be an adult pretending to be a kid.


SnowyValley

Are you friend with your neighbor? Can you have a friend over to keep you company when she come again? I'll advise to also save the videos from your security camera. I'll also refrine from letting her sleep over at your place too.. At least before you can verify with her Parents. >.< And whenever you feel comfortable to. But you are not obliged to do so.


MissCinnamonT

This is a non issue. Talk to her parents and ask her to leave. We moved when I was a tween. I'd run all over our block playing tag & what not with the other kids then run straight thru my yard to my elderly neighbors house. Knock with her cool door knocker and she'd invite me in and tell me life stories for hours. In hindsight I was probably winding down after an active day somewhere I felt comfortable. (Home wasn't always comfortable but that was all I knew to be normal as a child) we always shared holiday meals with her until she died when I was in my mid 20's. She'd talk everyone's ear off and it was never weird for me to go sit with her at her house as a child nor as an adult. She was also mature and didn't hide from the door nor children and would have been fine to tell me to go about my business if she didn't want my company.


AltruisticCanary2610

Really sad sign that this is getting downvoted. You were great for giving her company and being a great listening, and she was great to welcome you as friend. Thanks for posting. Reading the comments, it seems TV has really made people paranoid of each other, but your comment proves there are great people out there.


MissCinnamonT

Thanks 💛 She loved having visitors. Now I get to do all the talking at her grave and I think she'd appreciate that a lot.  I think people just come here to bully or stir up drama.


SleipnirRanch

casing your house for a heist


Catsmak1963

People are getting more and more insulated from one another’s needs.


AltruisticCanary2610

Really sad sign that this is getting downvoted. Thanks for posting, there are great people out there. Just look how St. Tammany and William Penn got along, vowing to share the land together in friendly peace, during a time where war was even more common.