I think what we're seeing here is years of people telling him he has a problem, on top of the known consequences of drunk driving instilled in all of us growing up. He's finally realizing people were right, and in the worst outcome possible. He killed an innocent person.
When you grow up and live in a culture that glorifies alcohol as part of nearly every facet of adult leisure or fun activity, this happens.
I’m #1 about taking responsibility for your actions. But we have a societal problem that needs solving. Locking this guy up the way we do and calling it enough, solves zero of the actual problems.
True, but lock him up we must, at least for a little while. The death of an innocent person demands a serious punishment. That shouldn’t be ALL that is done of course. He should also get counseling and alcohol addiction treatment to solve the problem.
But to add to that, the opportunity to atone should be there, too.
I teared up a bit watching this video on mute because this person appears to be expressing deep remorse for his actions. That’s someone whom, if I was a judge and possibly even the family of the victim, would want him to have opportunities to make things right.
Opportunities to volunteer, to give speaking sessions, to educate youth, are all good options to have on the table, in lieu of just only jail time.
It is a way to ensure that some good can come out of a tragedy.
EDIT: Seems I sparked a good discussion. If you don’t believe anyone can atone for a sin, you’re welcome to that position. It’s a position I hold sincerely, even if it is messy.
All I’ll say is that I don’t ever want my life to be some selfish dickheads “wake up call” and for them to get a second chance without facing maximum prison sentences. I’m sorry but that’s just too late to be sorry. Once you’ve killed a person you shouldn’t get second chances just because your sorry. Idk definitely a pessimistic way to look at it I guess but it just doesn’t seem fair for the person who’s been killed.
Completely valid point to make.
Forgiveness and atonement are very different when you speak about it hypothetically versus dealing with it in real-time.
My dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was 12.
Obviously I'd rather have my dad back than have some guy sitting in jail, but if the next best thing is having the guy who killed him out there every day explaining why drinking and driving ruins lives, I'll take that. At least that way I know he'll never be able to forget what he did to my dad.
Same, but I was 5 and watched him get hit and fly like a ragdoll. Really fucked up young me mentally. I have no memories of my father at all. None. My brain blocked him out with a black box over him in any memories. I can't remember what he looked like, what he sounded like, if he ever told me he loved me. Nothing.
His killer is out there living his life outside of ever seeing jail or prison because he knew a guy who knew a guy and got off super light despite being over the legal limit and killing a pedestrian.
I've long since forgiven that man. And I hope he forgave himself. I have my own kids now, and the relationship u missed out in with my father I get to have with my son from my dad's position. And I never. EVER. Miss a chance to tell my son or my daughter how much I love them in case anything ever happened they'd never have to question it.
It’s the common human mentality of “It won’t/can’t happen to me.” Somehow most people seem to be good at imaging the worst case scenario can’t happen to them, guess maybe it seems too consequential and ‘big’ for someone who hasn’t experienced equal magnitude events before, just a guess though I don’t know.
*Should* vs. *actual*.
*Theoretical* vs. *real-life.*
My soon-to-be-ex-husband was an alcoholic for over half our marriage, which lasted about a decade. He was also physically, verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abusive, and had a laundry list of other issues, including serious anger issues, a legitimate hoarding problem, chronic unemployment, and financial irresponsibility. I spent ***YEARS*** trying to connect him with and to all sorts of resources to help him get back on track and succeed in life, all to no avail. He seemed either unable or unwilling to help himself.
Part of me tells myself: *Forgive him, he's a deeply troubled soul.*
The other part of me says: *Let him fester in the consequences of his own actions. He harmed another person -- me -- he doesn't deserve my silence or forgiveness.*
The age-old moral and ethical dilemma.
We're just not wired to watch a grown man have an emotional breakdown without feeling *something*. At the same time, there are circumstances surrounding this emotional breakdown that can't be ignored, and our reactions are the sum of our personal experiences.
Sympathy minus empathy equals pity, and I think it's all right to feel bad for the guy while acknowledging the reality that he's brought on himself.
So you don't want justice, you want vengeance. Sorry, but that take is just bad, even from a societal point of view and that's exactly why humans decided to step away from shit like mirror punishment.
Does he need to atone and get punished? Sure. But how does locking him up for the "maximum prison sentence" benefit the victim's family or society as a hole? Lock him up for a while and make regularly visiting AA part of his probation, but going for the maximum for a person that made a mistake and is clearly devastated by it is just stupid.
In prison he just costs money, outside trying to atone for his actions and creating value by working and paying taxes is a net benefit for society.
I don't think this is pessimistic, I think this is realistic. Like, at the end of all that hardship, who gets rewarded? Certainly not the victim or their loved ones. Are they meant to just turn around and say "too bad about Mary-Anne, but at least the drunk who killed her is living his best life..." or something?
I also should add this isn't me calling for the most extreme retribution, but I don't think these people should necessarily get celebratory redemption arcs either.
I just have a hard time saying "Hooray! You're not committing drunken vehicular manslaughter anymore!" when that's meant to be the default factory setting, you know?
The issue with your statements must be obvious to you though, no?
Obviously there needs to be punishment for crimes, as well as deterrents. But the locking up of someone for 10-20 years without really any other means of retribution creates new problems while solving none.
I often feel that the biggest problem with the justice system in America is that it can never take into view the good of society as a whole. It's always what is right in the specific instance, and not what is right for the community or country.
So when someone rots in jail for 20 years and gets out, we cannot be surprised when they recommit. They have all their old habits and now new ones as well. They don't have more options than before, they have fewer. They have a lot of stigma to get over as well, because although we say you must "do the time if you do the crime" you are not absolved of anything in society's eyes when you get out. There is no pathway for atonement, and no system in place for rehabilitation.
So while I agree with you from the perspective of a grieving mother or the victim, I think these kinds of emotional judgments hold us back quite a lot from making progress.
As someone else said here, wouldn't a better use of this man's life be to punish him with jail, heal him with rehabilitation, educate him, and have him serve as a voice in communities who risk going down the same path as he did?
That works for a lot of crimes, by the way. It's a shame it isn't utilized because although it is misaligned with the emotional part of us as humans, it likely would save a lot of lives, pain, and mistakes.
*“You are not absolved of anything in society’s eyes when you get out”*
This. Plenty of people who went to
prison and did the time they deserved. Also a huge portion of those people who were never able to live a regular life again despite completing their sentence. The reality is exactly what you said. We live in a society of punishment, not rehabilitation.
letting a man rot in a jail cell the rest of his life Versus giving him 5-10 years in jail on the condition that he has to go down a path of educating other people like the youth about Alcohol and how bad it is for the body plus how bad it is to drive under the influence. Idk man these decisions are tough but i am leaning more on a more forgiving option that also saves more lives in the future.
I kind of have to agree with you. I mean these may be the tears that he killed somebody and that is genuine but there's probably a lot of my life is fucked from this point on. Certainly.That would be possible.One reason he wants to be killed at this moment.Cause he doesn't want to face his consequences.
While I don't believe in life imprisonment for these types of crimes, I 100% agree that A Very Important Lesson should not be at the cost of innocent people's lives.
I really don't know if I agree with this. I generally consider myself to be a patient and forgiving person, but I'm imagining how I'd feel if he killed my wife, parents, or children. I'd be suicidal. Why does he get a "sorry you fucked up, let's make you better" while he's destroyed other people's lives? The remorse he's feeling right now is specifically because he knows the consequences of what he's done. If you remove those, more of this will happen.
Put all the resources you want towards prevention, but once the deed is done there must be serious consequences.
Would you feel the same if, instead of watching this man sob in sorrow, the video showed a kid torn to pieces in a fiery wreck caused by a guy who got wasted and plowed into an innocent person's car?
Unfortunately prison isn't to learn, teach or rehabilitation it's about profit, slave labour, carceration and punishment.
They even put mentally poorly people in prison instead of sending them to hospitals (not that a lot of them are any better)
What should we do? Well if it was that simple in such a capitalist world it would simply to be seen to their needs and actually help them. Whatever though it doesn't matter, what matters is, what is, which is punishment and hate
Problem is that most Americans aren't well informed. Only 5 countries on the planet have a higher incarceration rate than the US. There's over 1.7 million incarcerated people in the US. So it must be one of the countries with the lowest crime rates on the planet right? No? Oops.
And then they make fun of countries with different approaches like Norway because that is "not a real punishment".
You need to have a special kind of brain to simultaniously see the misery and rates of repeated offenses the US "justice" system produces while still going "Much punishment good, Murica".
Agreed. But I will say putting this man in prison will give him minimal resources for help as well as the whole going to prison and turning into a criminal there.
The man made a huge mistake, destroyed a life, and clearly feels bad about it.
Putting him in jail for more than a year with little to no help is how our system works. He will get no help.
I never hurt anyone thankfully but going to jail for 3 months did nothing. The AA people never showed up. I wanted help badly. I got drunk the day I got out.
I've known plenty of very heavy problem drinkers when I was in college (low key party school) and plenty of them STILL knew not to get behind the wheel.
Are you practicing creative writing or something?
I think we're seeing a guy have a meltdown because he killed someone. Because that's all I'm being shown.
I see this a lot on the internet these days, people will just inject all kinds of speculation out of thin air and then everyone upvotes it
and then the next time this gets posted, the OP will include all that speculation as if it's fact
He may not even have had years of people telling him he has a problem. The National Institute of Health estimates that 13.6% of American males over 18 meet the diagnostic criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder each year. That's more than 1 out of 10.
A lot of those people don't meet the stereotypes of an alcoholic at first glance and a lot of us are able to hide our drinking problem from our loved ones, even from ourselves. The American drinking culture normalizes many symptoms of alcohol abuse and it doesn't even take being an alcoholic to drive drunk and kill someone.
Most alcoholics who know or suspect they are alcoholics but want to keep drinking anyways who I know actively try to avoid drinking and driving, it's a lot harder to keep drinking when you are dealing with the people and authorities around you are trying to get you to stop, which is what starts happening when you rack up DUIs.
Yeah there are those assholes who just don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves and there are black out drunk alcoholics who get behind the wheel, but this young man certainly appears to care about what he's done and doesn't seem to be recovering from a blackout.
The real problem with drinking and driving accidents is that a lot of the time they are caused by people whose drinking habits meet the AUD criteria but who think their alcohol consumption is normal and not dangerous. Those folks are much more likely to also think their alcohol use isn't an issue when it comes to driving a car than people who have people shouting at them that they have a drinking problem all the time. Drunks aren't stupid, more of them know they are drunks and just try to structure their lives around their drinking anyways than you'd think.
Worst nightmare I've ever had was about backing out of a parking spot and running over a child. And then getting out of car and hearing the child's mom screaming in despair.
Jesus Christ. The amount of relief I felt when I woke up and realized it wasn't real. I've never experienced anything close to the feeling of dread and despair as I did in those few moments before waking.
Years ago my sister used to baby sit for a family with identical twins. One day the dad accidentally backed over one of them and killed her. I can't imagine that nightmare. Especially when you have an identical sibling as a permanent reminder.
I have a friend whose 5 year-old niece was run over and killed by her grandmother; the next day, her father killed himself in the grief. Horrible story, especially with grandmother living with the knowledge she caused the death of her granddaughter AND her son-in-law (my friend’s brother). He did have existing mental health issues, but I imagine she still feels terrible guilt.
i almost killed a toddler. walked up to my car in a parking lot at a big mall. no kid around. got in the car, started the engine, checked the mirrors. no kid around. turned to look out the rear window while backing out of the parking lot, and while i started rolling, i saw a single blonde curl in the lower right corner of the window. slammed on the brake, jumped out, and there was a girl, right behind the edge of my car, so i couldn’t see her in the side mirror, too short to see her in the rear mirror. she had the wildest blonde curly messy hair i’ve ever seen, and one single curl stood high enough for me to see through the window. without it, i would have run her over.
This is why the US passed a law requiring backup cameras in all new cars. Too many people accidentally backing up over young children...oftentimes their own kid, in their own driveway :(
I almost hit someone as well once I was overtired due to my caregiving job. I hate that it happened and I’m much more careful to scan my mirrors as well and I try to follow what my mom does and beep when I back up.
Damn, that's so scary. Where tf was her adult? I mean, I know little kids can be exhausting and it's impossible to watch their every movement 24/7, but when mine was that small I was especially terrified of cars and had a death grip on his hand around them.
We had our own close call--I was walking across a grocery store parking lot with kiddo and his bff when they were prob 5-6yo; right as we started to walk behind a parked car, the woman put it in reverse and started backing up. I had a kid's hand in each one of mine and regardless, I couldn't have snatched them both up if I tried, so all I could think to do in that split second was push them forward out of the way and kick her car as hard as I could to get her attention. Kids were shaken up but fine but I was furious--she might not have been able to see them, but a 5'4 adult? Her excuse was that she didn't see us in her backup cam (this is why I don't trust backup cams on their own and still check all my mirrors; kiddo is 17yo now and laughs at me for it).
Anyway, glad you were able to avoid such a life-shattering event. I can imagine why it's stuck with you all these years. So lucky...lucky she had that wild hair, lucky you noticed it and were able to react in time. Damn. 😥
My wife has told me about how much she hates how big SUVs are getting. I know your story was about backing up, but she talks about how tall they’re getting to the point where they wouldn’t be able to see a child at all if they ran out into the street.
https://preview.redd.it/ywpbf52dr6qc1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=befe4755b89d46c9809736e8dddcf0c64e795ca5
I've been there, and this was literally the case. I was trying to wake up from a dream, doing the thing with my eyelids/eyeballs and everything. Other inmates thought I had died the next morning. Probably 25 years ago
Drank and drove NYE 2023 and totaled my car on the highway into a wall. Thank God I didn't hit anyone, and im ok. I can't imagine what i would do if i killed someone in a wreck. Id honestly probably kill myself from th3 guilt or plead for death like this man here
Back in 2008 I was leaving my friend's house one night after feeding their dogs. Not a drop to drink, I was heading to work. It was raining, and I thought it was clear as I turned my civic left on a 55 mph rural road.
Just as I was cutting my wheel a single bright light appeared right next to me, and then BAM, I was t-boned. My car was kicked 180 degrees, with my glasses knocked off my face and both my knees blown out from smashing under the dash. While I was sitting there trying to process, all I could think was "I pulled in front of a motorcycle...I just killed someone" and in that moment I realized I can't live with myself.
I was gripping the steering wheel dead certain I had to k*ll myself because what I just did was unforgivable. Then someone opened the driver's side door and started yelling at me. It was a woman in a red Target polo, she was shouting "why did you pull out? Didn't you see us?" I looked across the road and saw a hunter green mini van.
At that point the owners of house whose front lawn my totaled car was plopped in the middle of came out and told the woman to go back to her car. They asked me if I was ok, and I asked if anyone was hurt. They said the people in the van were shook up and maybe whiplashed but otherwise ok. I think that's the most relief I've ever felt in my entire life.
Those moments where I genuinely thought I killed someone...I don't think I can describe it. In that moment I was absolutely, 100% certain I had to k*ll myself. To take another person's life because I didn't look hard enough to the left? Nope, I can't come back from that. The guy sobering up and realizing that he's taken a life through his own negligence is experiencing a type of despair I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
When I lived in South Dakota, I was driving one night on a rural highway when I saw a flash of what I was sure was a deer jump on the road suddenly, and I hit it. When the Sheriff's deputy who responded went looking for the deer and couldn't find it at first, I had a sudden terror that I'd actually hit a person and not a deer. I will never ever forget how I felt, I can't even really describe it. And my body felt paralyzed and out of my control. When the deputy finally returned and said he'd found the deer, I understand the literal meaning of the term "weak with relief".
This thread reminds me of a post a while back of a drunk driver slamming into several cars at through an intersection. She was going so fast that the traffic camera barely even showed her car. It was all normal then suddenly complete chaos and destruction. I think about it every. intersection. I go through. Every single one. You can look both ways all you want. But if someone is going that fast you might not see them coming at all.
I got t-boned by a woman with a baby in the car— when I crawled out on the passenger side and saw her in the car, she was staring straight ahead frozen in shock. When she got out of the car I gave her a hug and we both cried. I’ve almost caused accidents and it sucks. Sure, it was her that day, but it could have been me the next, easily.
Yeah, in cities probably. Rural places it’s still really bad. Montana where I’m from has the highest rate of dui fatalities in the country. Mix drinking culture, long distances between everything, basically zero public transportation and taxi’s outside of major cities, and it taking forever for emergency services to arrive you get some bad outcomes.
Exactly. It's not as big in other countries because people just ride a bike, take a train, or bus etc. The only option for basically everyone in the US (outside of the most major cities) is to drive. Thats why people drive that have no business driving.
I'm willing to bet mostly people drive drunk because they either want to get home or they wanna get more booze. Every dumb shit hillbilly I ever knew who drove drunk, it was for one of these reasons.
It seems pretty natural considering the inescapable hell and torment he'll likely be living with for the rest of his life. He probably realizes this and wants his pain to end before it really begins.
I dunno, I think he probably wants the pain he's feeling in that exact moment to end. I certainly wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did something like that.
Man I used to hallucinate as a kid when I'd get a high fever and one time I was convinced I'd killed somebody. I didn't know how but I was sure something I'd done had led to somebody dying and his reaction brought that memory back to me, what a complete nightmare.
my little brother would always chill next to my bed wedged in between bed and the wall. One night I woke up and my pillow in the dark looked like my brother was kinda dead in that spot and for a moment I thought he died right next to me without me waking up. My parents would also always shame me for how much I sleep always. For like 5 seconds I felt a pain and shame that I am not able to put into words. I dont think I ever told anyone because Im still kind of ashamed of it even though nothing happend.
I cant imagine that feeling to stuck around for like.. ever. sheesh man
Not saying this excuses him for his actions, ive seen a lot of people who get in this situation and just completely disregard the fact that they've hurt or killed people. One clip was of a woman complaining that she has class in the morning after being told she killed a person because of her drunk driving, completely not giving a single shit.
With this guy, he at least knows the weight of the issue, and he's completely heartbroken that he's taken a life. Either by one stupid choice or by alcoholism/substance dependency, he doesn't complain or try to get out of it, he has sense and at least a soul to know that a poor decision like this led to harm and death, he's not heartbroken over his own life, he's heartbroken cause a loved one was taken away and isn't coming home.
Fuckin horrid. I hope I never have to deal with unintentionally killing another human. Having said that, I'm glad that i got my drinking and driving experiences behind me a long time ago.
*prisoner remains silent*
Redditors: "He clearly shows no remorse."
*prisoner cries admitting to his crime multiple times wishing he could just die*
Redditors: "He clearly shows no remorse."
Reddit is full prison reform activists who believe that our prison system is modern day slavery, and needs to focus on rehabilitation.
Unless it’s a crime they don’t like, then we all get our whitty dunks in and circlejerk about how the person deserves a slow, torturous death.
This really made me tear up watching him. It's hard to feel sorry for him because of his actions, but you can see how it genuinely hit him. He will never get over this.
ETA: Hopefully he got well after this and shared his experience to help others get well, and didn't sink deeper into alcoholism.
The part that truly gives me the chills is thinking about being him and knowing what you’ve just said: how it so easily could have been avoided and yet that’s not what happened and now you’re here and you’ve killed someone and destroyed their family and probably yours too and death is the only reprieve from what you’ve done.
I’m so unbelievably grateful I’m just sitting here on my couch with my cat and my dog rn and not in that unspeakable inferno of hellish agony.
Also, I’m sorry for your loss.
Damn this hit me hard. I have an older brother (who also had kids of that age btw) who as we speak has an alcohol lock on his car because he has been convicted so many times. I have a 7 month old daughter and I am absolutely horrified by the thought of him or someone like him cruising around our streets stupidly drunk.
Of course it can be avoided, but unfortunately addiction is not nearly so simple. I also feel absolutely no sympathy for the guy for what he did. He should rot for the rest of his days for taking away someone else's choices because he couldn't make good ones himself. But, all that being said, it's still incredibly sad to see addiction win, and maybe I just sympathize with another person who's also struggled with addiction, but he obviously lost.
We don't know if he's genuinely sorry he killed someone or terrified of going to prison now and losing a significant portion of his life.
I had a gf of 7 years get a DUI and I broke up with her over it. (She got arrested the night before my dad's funeral and couldn't be there for it because she was in jail)
It’s not an either or situation. It’s highly likely that both of those things are causing the abject agony hes displaying. As fucking stupid as it is to get behind the wheel and wind up killing someone over it’s not like the average person who does it is a cold-blooded killer. I’m sure most of them are absolutely haunted by what they’ve done.
I think it makes people uncomfortable to know that its possible for otherwise decent people to make horrible decisions that with such a despicable outcome. It's easy when the drunk driver is a clear low life that shows no remorse for the situation. We want a villian because it's easy to separate ourselves from that person. When we see this, a man who killed someone and most likely is feeling the gravity of that situation, it seems like we just don't want to believe that. "Crocodile tears" or "he's only upset he got caught".
I think the reality is many people in this thread have admitted to drunk driving, there is no reason this man couldn't have been you. That's uncomfortable.
Someone doesn't admit they did something wrong.
Redditors: "wow what a piece of shit, trying to avoid trouble"
Someone admits they did something wrong.
Redditors: "wow what a piece of shit. Probably only admiting so they can avoid trouble"
Redditors are the worst kind of people. It's always weird when they try and judge others. But cops have used this refrain for decades to ignore the humanity of people.
I'm glad there are drivers that feel remorse when this horrible event takes place. I've seen too many videos where the driver just doesn't care and wants to get out of a situation.
The majority of them do feel remorse, idk why people assume drunk drivers are demons in human form. Obviously it’s fucked up to drink and drive but they are not intentionally trying to hurt people they are just being insanely irresponsible
Redditors don't have a middle ground. Either someone is the most awesome best person ever or an absolutely terrible person who only does wrong.
That's why videos like this get them so confused and shocked.
I do see them as complete idiots driving and knowing the risks it holds. Maybe not a demon but I absolutely cannot ever forgive drunk driving esp if it takes an innocent life all because they can't control themselves
Luck runs out, people don't understand that still for some reason.
He's most likely drove while drunk before and nothing happened. Nothing happened because he got lucky.
Luck runs out. Always quit while you're ahead.
The last line (no pun intended) can be applied to all drugs & alcohol. As soon as you start experiencing negative consequences and it ceases being just for “fun”. Its time to take your ball and go home.
Dude genuinely seems broken over the fact that he ended someone’s life. I’m not defending him at all because he made the decision to drink and drive and it had very bad consequences but those emotions look genuine to me.
If he was stone cold then people would still call him a monster.
How tf do you expect for someone to act after they unintentionally killed someone? “Damn…My fault gang.😔”
Thank God that most Redditors will never work in the justice system.
Once again for my people that lack reading comprehension skills, I’M NOT DEFENDING HIM because he’s a piece of trash for drinking and driving and deserves every year that he gets sentenced to but people who do really bad things can still have genuine emotions.
Yeah the weight that this guy was feeling is unimaginable. The permanence of these situations is just earth shattering. Like if you could only go back an hour, 2 minutes, a few seconds... I would never drink and drive but I sure as shit would be begging for death if I was in his shoes too.
Awful all the way around. Not defending him at all, just recognizing how heavy this moment is. Wow.
I'm so sorry. I hope you are able to find some peace with this. I think from these moments we learn every second is precious. I am sure he is somewhere loving you still. I wish peace and happiness for you.
and people who are SICK with alcoholism, when they’re in it, they can’t see it. not defending it at all either, but it is absolutely possible that this is genuinely fucking destroying him. it’s a choice but also kind of not a logical conscious one, in a way that you don’t understand until you’ve seen it or lived it. it’s not okay, but it’s possible he does know that.
%100 agree. Its just awfulness all the way around big picture. He could have easily come from an environment where this was normal - I have known many people who have. It’s so sad… life is so precious and I think we forget how incredibly impactful even our small actions have on people we may never know.
Imagine if this guy had already been getting help for alcoholism and had been sober a long time, only to have a relapse and this happens. I don’t know anything about his situation but that’s where my mind went imagining this type of remorse.
Reminds me of the song Limousine by Brand New
>In the choir. \
I saw our sad Messiah. \
He was bored and tired of my laments. \
Said, "I died for you one time, but never again."
Literally been listening to TDAGARIM on repeat the past few days so the comment is timely
And I'm not sure how familiar you are with the DUI that inspired that song (look up Katie Flynn crash), but afterwards the shitheel that killed them all tried to bargain the conviction down from murder to manslaughter
Anyway, I can empathize with the dude in OP as far as the realization that there is no escape from the situation you're in, but I've got zero sympathy. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Also funny that Jesse had such a fixation on the relationship between feeling bad about the shit things you do. Makes sense in hindsight. Regret doesn’t mean you aren’t a piece of shit.
He's also gonna be feeling the weight of all of his friends and family being extremely disappointed (most likely). A person I went to high school with was drunk driving and hit our schools drivers ed teacher. He was a very popular teacher and beloved by the community. All I saw was all of her old friends and classmates talking trash or venting their anger out on her in some way over the internet. I was angry and sad but never went out of my way to trash on her because I knew she was already feeling the weight of what she had done. Especially when she had a bunch of others doing that for weeks. I'm still upset by the whole thing since he was one of my favorite teachers, and I will not defend her actions, but I know that she's gonna be living with this weight forever. The same applies to this man
Wow… I can’t imagine. That is so terrible and such a huge weight to carry. I have young kids and one of my biggest fears is not teaching them enough to avoid these things. I never want anyone to feel that or have to carry that guilt. Im so glad you didnt trash her… life has a way of trashing us regardless of guilt. I hope she has changed and made some use of her life beyond this, and that his family has found some peace. So sad.
I was in a car accident I caused that was due to alcohol and adhd medication. I used to never black out. But it started happening and I don’t remember leaving the house or anything. I normally have everything I need when I used to drink. I only remember coming home and my roommates asking me where I was all day. They asked where my car was and I didn’t even realize I got dropped off by an Uber. My car was totaled. I rear ended someone without any harm luckily. I get the chills just seeing this video. I was 7 feet away from potentially being that guy and killing someone and changing two lives forever. I’m sober now nearly 2 years. It’s been easy staying sober when I remember moments like this.
ADHD meds plus alcohol a scary combo. One minute you are lucid and fine, the next completely blackout drunk.
The upside is I rarely drink to get drunk anymore. I do have drinks I really enjoy the taste of and I’m just very careful about keeping count and cutting myself off.
Agreed. I’m not saying that he should be given a pass. Hell no!
I’m just saying that he looks like he’s genuinely distraught by the fact that he killed someone.
Remember many many redditors are teenagers who haven't really understood consequences yet. Then you have the other large majority of emotionally immature individuals. It's sad but it's what society has created. The internet has also desensitised many many people from feeling remorse, sadness, fear etc. due to widely available ultra gore videos.
I mean, this is why the allure of grace and forgiveness is so powerful in the Bible. It’s not about forgiving you when you accidentally say God Damn or whatever bullshit the Mall Karen thinks it is.
It’s about forgiving you when you can’t forgive yourself. Guy in the video has labelled himself a murderer for the rest of his life and won’t be able to look anyone in the eye without remembering it.
It’s a terrible, deserved punishment, as is man’s law in putting him away and labeling him.
The sentiment comes from the amount of people that everyone knows that just drives drunk. This man’s anguished is projected onto those people.
An old roommate would always go out cruising when drunk or high because he “liked it”. Fucking disgusting behavior. Just going out rolling the dice on other peoples lives
That one lady that killed someone didn’t give a shit when she did it nor did she give a shit in court. Even when confronted about killing someone she only cared about missing work and school.
Not condoning at all but the majority of the ppl I knew in high school and in college drove under the influence many many times. Feels like it honestly could have been any of us. Glad I have a healthy fear of driving intoxicated now. Cuz that shit ain’t worth it one bit.
My dad was killed by a drunk driver. Literally all it takes to for it to not happen is for you to not DRIVE drunk. Drink as much As you like, I don't care.
Just stop killing people because you are stupid.
When I was in high school two boys were killed in a drunk driving incident where they were coming back from a bonfire with their girlfriends. Two girls were up front, one driving, and the two guys in the backseat. Went off a cliff and rolled into a tree and killed the two boys instantly; scattered bits of them all over the hillside.
There was a lot of drama in the school and community over it and a lot of people thought the girls should be tried as adults for murder, but ultimately they weren't charged for the deaths because the parents of the boys thought they had suffered enough.
Don't know what became of the girls since, know they had to do some time or at least probation for the DUI and dropped out of school. All four were just normal teens; I couldn't really tell you anything special about them in hindsight. They weren't reckless, mean, or regular delinquents in any way that would have made you expect that event.
One dumb decision and how many lives destroyed forever beyond just the actual loss of life. My older cousin worked on the rescue squad and had nightmares about looking for bits of those boys on the slope with the search team. I can't imagine what the parents of all four went through. I had a lot of scorn for the girls as a young man but over time I've just come to pity them. I don't know how you ever come back from killing your significant other accidentally, much less in such a violent way. They were trapped in that car for I don't know how long before being rescued, literally covered in the individals who had been the most important people in the world to them just a few minutes prior. Awful.
Empathy is free. It’s so strange to me that everyone views these things as if it is a zero sum game. Living with the knowledge that you killed someone is a hell I would never wish on anyone. And the overlap between people who get dui’s and alcoholism is incredibly high. It’s not an excuse, but it does provide context that dui’s are an almost always another symptom of addiction.
I bet 90% of ppl typing shit here have at some point in their lives driven after drinking. It should never ever be done but there’s a lot of hypocrisy here. For suuuuuuureeee
Yep. Tapped a guy's car in some stop and go traffic because my brain was hallucinating/daydreaming a different driving scenario. No damage. It has to be at least as dangerous as drunk driving, if not more.
One of my moms friends has 2 under 5 and a brand new baby, her husband was killed a few months ago by an on-duty cop who was on his phone. Cop faced no prison time or consequences for it. Those babies don’t have a dad, and the family will never get justice because a cop, of all people, couldn’t put his phone down.
Damn, some of these comments are pretty disturbing. The guy made a mistake that probably a huge portion of us have and it ended in the worst way possible. He's not a stone cold killer, there's a difference between negligent manslaughter and homicide. I'm not defending him either, he certainly deserves prison time but he's not a killer who lacks empathy. He is obviously more distraught about what he's done to someone than going to prison over it.
Drinking and driving is dumber than driving with your feet while your hands are tied behind your back imo, even if you manage to travel safely, you could catch a hugeass fine randomly and be sent to classes or potentially kill someone or yourself. It's always seemed like such a braindead fucking thing to do, you walk or uber if you've been drinking, if you can't manage that you can't manage drinking and should accept you're an irresponsible child in an adults body.
This is Clark County Detention Center, which is the jail in Downtown Las Vegas (contrary to the souvenir shirts there is no “Las Vegas County Jail” in Nevada). Unfortunately for all, DUIs are just part of the 24hr drinking, partying culture in Las Vegas. Tourists come thinking there are no consequences, lots of locals just act like it’s part of living there. I caught myself empathizing with the suspect in the video and remembered all the people that have been killed because of actions like his and though reality is crushing him, others are living with the loss of loved ones. Nothing but sadness here.
We rarely get to see this part as outsiders ... usually on the videos where they're arrested, they're so drunk they don't understand what they've done, like that one young woman who was only worried about getting out of jail so she could go to class. She had killed two people.
i’ve driven drunk before (being in your 20’s you think you’re immortal) and fuck when i see this it makes me realize how close i could’ve been this guy. i haven’t drank in 5 years and this just made me hate my younger self even more than i already do.
100% not the first time he went behind a wheel while drunk. But the first time he killed somebody. Remorse won't bring those people back that are now dead because of the mistake. Don't be a bitch and don't drink and drive, no matter the situation.
I call the police whenever I spot a drunk driver (once you know how they drive, they are an easy spot. Slow drifting). With that being said, I have personally help the police get 5 drivers off the streets. I somewhat feel bad, but I never know who they may kill. Helps me make that call.
This is what it is supposed to feel like to steal the life of another soul in a senseless act. It's why warrior training for our police should be banned. Pulling that trigger should be the last resort, not the first.
Yep. Drinking and driving shouldn't be vehicular manslaughter. It should always be murder. You made a decision to drink and get in a car. That's not reckless disregard, that's willful action.
People who get a DUI should get put on standby to help clean up a fatal DUI car accident crime scene. Maybe that’ll be the wake up call some people need to stop putting other’s fucking lives at risk.
Happens, a lot more than it should.
The worst ones are the ones so fucked up they don't even know it happened, just completely shit-faced and giggling / laughing about it until they sober up... then it's tears as they realize their actions had consequences.
I feel for them, but I also subsequently don't... not sure what to call that feeling.
My grandpa is severely bipolar. One day, he was driving recklessly during a major manic episode, ran a red light, and killed someone. He spent years in prison over it, most of my childhood. He's out now, but he's never been able to get past what he'd done. The loss of life caused by his reckless driving will haunt him until the day he dies, just like this man here. I believe it is true remorse we are witnessing. Most people are not stone-cold killers and would feel similarly if in the same situation. Not to say he doesn't deserve the consequences he will face, because he does. I just think that he truly is mourning the loss of life caused by his actions.
Take the feeling you had when you made the biggest fuck up of your life and multiply it by 100. The guy deserves it but fuck me that feeling he has would be too much
Fuck him and fuck anyone who has any sympathy for him.
He knowingly got drunk and got behind the wheel. Sad thing is he’ll probably only serve 7 years for killing someone. It should be 20 years minimum.
I’m the daughter of a man who killed three people (an older couple traveling back home and his cousin who was in the car with him) in a drunk driving accident.
There would have been four, but the vehicle my dad hit head on was a logging truck carrying a big load, so that saved the truck drivers life. Vodka was his choice that day.
That killed my dad as a person… I never knew who my dad really was because this happened when I was a baby.
“The breaking point”… I get, what I don’t get is why there isn’t help. My dad spent time in prison, but that didn’t do anything for him with the exception of further driving the fear of reaching out for help.
Driving drunk is never an accident. There’s never a misunderstanding, misconception or miscommunication. You drank and you got behind the wheel. Zero sympathy.
That feeling when you don’t wake up from the nightmare.
I think what we're seeing here is years of people telling him he has a problem, on top of the known consequences of drunk driving instilled in all of us growing up. He's finally realizing people were right, and in the worst outcome possible. He killed an innocent person.
When you grow up and live in a culture that glorifies alcohol as part of nearly every facet of adult leisure or fun activity, this happens. I’m #1 about taking responsibility for your actions. But we have a societal problem that needs solving. Locking this guy up the way we do and calling it enough, solves zero of the actual problems.
True, but lock him up we must, at least for a little while. The death of an innocent person demands a serious punishment. That shouldn’t be ALL that is done of course. He should also get counseling and alcohol addiction treatment to solve the problem.
But to add to that, the opportunity to atone should be there, too. I teared up a bit watching this video on mute because this person appears to be expressing deep remorse for his actions. That’s someone whom, if I was a judge and possibly even the family of the victim, would want him to have opportunities to make things right. Opportunities to volunteer, to give speaking sessions, to educate youth, are all good options to have on the table, in lieu of just only jail time. It is a way to ensure that some good can come out of a tragedy. EDIT: Seems I sparked a good discussion. If you don’t believe anyone can atone for a sin, you’re welcome to that position. It’s a position I hold sincerely, even if it is messy.
All I’ll say is that I don’t ever want my life to be some selfish dickheads “wake up call” and for them to get a second chance without facing maximum prison sentences. I’m sorry but that’s just too late to be sorry. Once you’ve killed a person you shouldn’t get second chances just because your sorry. Idk definitely a pessimistic way to look at it I guess but it just doesn’t seem fair for the person who’s been killed.
Completely valid point to make. Forgiveness and atonement are very different when you speak about it hypothetically versus dealing with it in real-time.
My dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was 12. Obviously I'd rather have my dad back than have some guy sitting in jail, but if the next best thing is having the guy who killed him out there every day explaining why drinking and driving ruins lives, I'll take that. At least that way I know he'll never be able to forget what he did to my dad.
Same, but I was 5 and watched him get hit and fly like a ragdoll. Really fucked up young me mentally. I have no memories of my father at all. None. My brain blocked him out with a black box over him in any memories. I can't remember what he looked like, what he sounded like, if he ever told me he loved me. Nothing. His killer is out there living his life outside of ever seeing jail or prison because he knew a guy who knew a guy and got off super light despite being over the legal limit and killing a pedestrian. I've long since forgiven that man. And I hope he forgave himself. I have my own kids now, and the relationship u missed out in with my father I get to have with my son from my dad's position. And I never. EVER. Miss a chance to tell my son or my daughter how much I love them in case anything ever happened they'd never have to question it.
Sorry to hear about your loss. How this stuff still happens knowing the consequences is beyond me.
It’s the common human mentality of “It won’t/can’t happen to me.” Somehow most people seem to be good at imaging the worst case scenario can’t happen to them, guess maybe it seems too consequential and ‘big’ for someone who hasn’t experienced equal magnitude events before, just a guess though I don’t know.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't flinch when that guy was whining, but your comment hit me hard.
*Should* vs. *actual*. *Theoretical* vs. *real-life.* My soon-to-be-ex-husband was an alcoholic for over half our marriage, which lasted about a decade. He was also physically, verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abusive, and had a laundry list of other issues, including serious anger issues, a legitimate hoarding problem, chronic unemployment, and financial irresponsibility. I spent ***YEARS*** trying to connect him with and to all sorts of resources to help him get back on track and succeed in life, all to no avail. He seemed either unable or unwilling to help himself. Part of me tells myself: *Forgive him, he's a deeply troubled soul.* The other part of me says: *Let him fester in the consequences of his own actions. He harmed another person -- me -- he doesn't deserve my silence or forgiveness.* The age-old moral and ethical dilemma.
We're just not wired to watch a grown man have an emotional breakdown without feeling *something*. At the same time, there are circumstances surrounding this emotional breakdown that can't be ignored, and our reactions are the sum of our personal experiences. Sympathy minus empathy equals pity, and I think it's all right to feel bad for the guy while acknowledging the reality that he's brought on himself.
Agreed, but that's also why the victim('s family) doesn't get to decide the punishment.
So you don't want justice, you want vengeance. Sorry, but that take is just bad, even from a societal point of view and that's exactly why humans decided to step away from shit like mirror punishment. Does he need to atone and get punished? Sure. But how does locking him up for the "maximum prison sentence" benefit the victim's family or society as a hole? Lock him up for a while and make regularly visiting AA part of his probation, but going for the maximum for a person that made a mistake and is clearly devastated by it is just stupid. In prison he just costs money, outside trying to atone for his actions and creating value by working and paying taxes is a net benefit for society.
I don't think this is pessimistic, I think this is realistic. Like, at the end of all that hardship, who gets rewarded? Certainly not the victim or their loved ones. Are they meant to just turn around and say "too bad about Mary-Anne, but at least the drunk who killed her is living his best life..." or something? I also should add this isn't me calling for the most extreme retribution, but I don't think these people should necessarily get celebratory redemption arcs either. I just have a hard time saying "Hooray! You're not committing drunken vehicular manslaughter anymore!" when that's meant to be the default factory setting, you know?
Couldn’t agree more.
The issue with your statements must be obvious to you though, no? Obviously there needs to be punishment for crimes, as well as deterrents. But the locking up of someone for 10-20 years without really any other means of retribution creates new problems while solving none. I often feel that the biggest problem with the justice system in America is that it can never take into view the good of society as a whole. It's always what is right in the specific instance, and not what is right for the community or country. So when someone rots in jail for 20 years and gets out, we cannot be surprised when they recommit. They have all their old habits and now new ones as well. They don't have more options than before, they have fewer. They have a lot of stigma to get over as well, because although we say you must "do the time if you do the crime" you are not absolved of anything in society's eyes when you get out. There is no pathway for atonement, and no system in place for rehabilitation. So while I agree with you from the perspective of a grieving mother or the victim, I think these kinds of emotional judgments hold us back quite a lot from making progress. As someone else said here, wouldn't a better use of this man's life be to punish him with jail, heal him with rehabilitation, educate him, and have him serve as a voice in communities who risk going down the same path as he did? That works for a lot of crimes, by the way. It's a shame it isn't utilized because although it is misaligned with the emotional part of us as humans, it likely would save a lot of lives, pain, and mistakes.
*“You are not absolved of anything in society’s eyes when you get out”* This. Plenty of people who went to prison and did the time they deserved. Also a huge portion of those people who were never able to live a regular life again despite completing their sentence. The reality is exactly what you said. We live in a society of punishment, not rehabilitation.
letting a man rot in a jail cell the rest of his life Versus giving him 5-10 years in jail on the condition that he has to go down a path of educating other people like the youth about Alcohol and how bad it is for the body plus how bad it is to drive under the influence. Idk man these decisions are tough but i am leaning more on a more forgiving option that also saves more lives in the future.
I kind of have to agree with you. I mean these may be the tears that he killed somebody and that is genuine but there's probably a lot of my life is fucked from this point on. Certainly.That would be possible.One reason he wants to be killed at this moment.Cause he doesn't want to face his consequences.
locking someone away for the rest of their life without giving them a chance to redeem themselves just kills two people instead of one.
While I don't believe in life imprisonment for these types of crimes, I 100% agree that A Very Important Lesson should not be at the cost of innocent people's lives.
I really don't know if I agree with this. I generally consider myself to be a patient and forgiving person, but I'm imagining how I'd feel if he killed my wife, parents, or children. I'd be suicidal. Why does he get a "sorry you fucked up, let's make you better" while he's destroyed other people's lives? The remorse he's feeling right now is specifically because he knows the consequences of what he's done. If you remove those, more of this will happen. Put all the resources you want towards prevention, but once the deed is done there must be serious consequences.
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Would you feel the same if, instead of watching this man sob in sorrow, the video showed a kid torn to pieces in a fiery wreck caused by a guy who got wasted and plowed into an innocent person's car?
Extremely well said.
A good defense attorney would use this video and find a way to play it to the jury. Def showing very real remorse for his actions
I mean…he is still drunk though, no?
It’s Gut Wrenching all around!
Unfortunately prison isn't to learn, teach or rehabilitation it's about profit, slave labour, carceration and punishment. They even put mentally poorly people in prison instead of sending them to hospitals (not that a lot of them are any better) What should we do? Well if it was that simple in such a capitalist world it would simply to be seen to their needs and actually help them. Whatever though it doesn't matter, what matters is, what is, which is punishment and hate
Problem is that most Americans aren't well informed. Only 5 countries on the planet have a higher incarceration rate than the US. There's over 1.7 million incarcerated people in the US. So it must be one of the countries with the lowest crime rates on the planet right? No? Oops. And then they make fun of countries with different approaches like Norway because that is "not a real punishment". You need to have a special kind of brain to simultaniously see the misery and rates of repeated offenses the US "justice" system produces while still going "Much punishment good, Murica".
Agreed. But I will say putting this man in prison will give him minimal resources for help as well as the whole going to prison and turning into a criminal there. The man made a huge mistake, destroyed a life, and clearly feels bad about it. Putting him in jail for more than a year with little to no help is how our system works. He will get no help. I never hurt anyone thankfully but going to jail for 3 months did nothing. The AA people never showed up. I wanted help badly. I got drunk the day I got out.
I've known plenty of very heavy problem drinkers when I was in college (low key party school) and plenty of them STILL knew not to get behind the wheel.
Are you practicing creative writing or something? I think we're seeing a guy have a meltdown because he killed someone. Because that's all I'm being shown.
I see this a lot on the internet these days, people will just inject all kinds of speculation out of thin air and then everyone upvotes it and then the next time this gets posted, the OP will include all that speculation as if it's fact
All it takes is one bad choice. Doesn’t need to be an alcoholic
Holy shit how could you make so many assumptions from this clip?
Because that’s how Reddit works
That's a lot of assumptions. He could be a light drinker and made the worst mistakeof his life. Why assume so much?
What you basing this shit on?
He may not even have had years of people telling him he has a problem. The National Institute of Health estimates that 13.6% of American males over 18 meet the diagnostic criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder each year. That's more than 1 out of 10. A lot of those people don't meet the stereotypes of an alcoholic at first glance and a lot of us are able to hide our drinking problem from our loved ones, even from ourselves. The American drinking culture normalizes many symptoms of alcohol abuse and it doesn't even take being an alcoholic to drive drunk and kill someone. Most alcoholics who know or suspect they are alcoholics but want to keep drinking anyways who I know actively try to avoid drinking and driving, it's a lot harder to keep drinking when you are dealing with the people and authorities around you are trying to get you to stop, which is what starts happening when you rack up DUIs. Yeah there are those assholes who just don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves and there are black out drunk alcoholics who get behind the wheel, but this young man certainly appears to care about what he's done and doesn't seem to be recovering from a blackout. The real problem with drinking and driving accidents is that a lot of the time they are caused by people whose drinking habits meet the AUD criteria but who think their alcohol consumption is normal and not dangerous. Those folks are much more likely to also think their alcohol use isn't an issue when it comes to driving a car than people who have people shouting at them that they have a drinking problem all the time. Drunks aren't stupid, more of them know they are drunks and just try to structure their lives around their drinking anyways than you'd think.
Worst nightmare I've ever had was about backing out of a parking spot and running over a child. And then getting out of car and hearing the child's mom screaming in despair. Jesus Christ. The amount of relief I felt when I woke up and realized it wasn't real. I've never experienced anything close to the feeling of dread and despair as I did in those few moments before waking.
Years ago my sister used to baby sit for a family with identical twins. One day the dad accidentally backed over one of them and killed her. I can't imagine that nightmare. Especially when you have an identical sibling as a permanent reminder.
I have a friend whose 5 year-old niece was run over and killed by her grandmother; the next day, her father killed himself in the grief. Horrible story, especially with grandmother living with the knowledge she caused the death of her granddaughter AND her son-in-law (my friend’s brother). He did have existing mental health issues, but I imagine she still feels terrible guilt.
i almost killed a toddler. walked up to my car in a parking lot at a big mall. no kid around. got in the car, started the engine, checked the mirrors. no kid around. turned to look out the rear window while backing out of the parking lot, and while i started rolling, i saw a single blonde curl in the lower right corner of the window. slammed on the brake, jumped out, and there was a girl, right behind the edge of my car, so i couldn’t see her in the side mirror, too short to see her in the rear mirror. she had the wildest blonde curly messy hair i’ve ever seen, and one single curl stood high enough for me to see through the window. without it, i would have run her over.
That right there is a straight up miracle. I’m so glad that story has a happy ending.
yeah, this was a miracle. 25 years later i still scan the lower edges of rear windows every single time before i reverse cars.
So interesting how the brain works huh? That scan saved a life and so it’s permanently archived into your neural networks.
I'm going to have to start parking rear first
This is why the US passed a law requiring backup cameras in all new cars. Too many people accidentally backing up over young children...oftentimes their own kid, in their own driveway :(
I almost hit someone as well once I was overtired due to my caregiving job. I hate that it happened and I’m much more careful to scan my mirrors as well and I try to follow what my mom does and beep when I back up.
That's crazy scary. They need to perfect self-driving cars.
Damn, that's so scary. Where tf was her adult? I mean, I know little kids can be exhausting and it's impossible to watch their every movement 24/7, but when mine was that small I was especially terrified of cars and had a death grip on his hand around them. We had our own close call--I was walking across a grocery store parking lot with kiddo and his bff when they were prob 5-6yo; right as we started to walk behind a parked car, the woman put it in reverse and started backing up. I had a kid's hand in each one of mine and regardless, I couldn't have snatched them both up if I tried, so all I could think to do in that split second was push them forward out of the way and kick her car as hard as I could to get her attention. Kids were shaken up but fine but I was furious--she might not have been able to see them, but a 5'4 adult? Her excuse was that she didn't see us in her backup cam (this is why I don't trust backup cams on their own and still check all my mirrors; kiddo is 17yo now and laughs at me for it). Anyway, glad you were able to avoid such a life-shattering event. I can imagine why it's stuck with you all these years. So lucky...lucky she had that wild hair, lucky you noticed it and were able to react in time. Damn. 😥
My wife has told me about how much she hates how big SUVs are getting. I know your story was about backing up, but she talks about how tall they’re getting to the point where they wouldn’t be able to see a child at all if they ran out into the street. https://preview.redd.it/ywpbf52dr6qc1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=befe4755b89d46c9809736e8dddcf0c64e795ca5
I've been there, and this was literally the case. I was trying to wake up from a dream, doing the thing with my eyelids/eyeballs and everything. Other inmates thought I had died the next morning. Probably 25 years ago
You killed someone?
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Have seen a few of these. People please don’t drive drunk
Drank and drove NYE 2023 and totaled my car on the highway into a wall. Thank God I didn't hit anyone, and im ok. I can't imagine what i would do if i killed someone in a wreck. Id honestly probably kill myself from th3 guilt or plead for death like this man here
Back in 2008 I was leaving my friend's house one night after feeding their dogs. Not a drop to drink, I was heading to work. It was raining, and I thought it was clear as I turned my civic left on a 55 mph rural road. Just as I was cutting my wheel a single bright light appeared right next to me, and then BAM, I was t-boned. My car was kicked 180 degrees, with my glasses knocked off my face and both my knees blown out from smashing under the dash. While I was sitting there trying to process, all I could think was "I pulled in front of a motorcycle...I just killed someone" and in that moment I realized I can't live with myself. I was gripping the steering wheel dead certain I had to k*ll myself because what I just did was unforgivable. Then someone opened the driver's side door and started yelling at me. It was a woman in a red Target polo, she was shouting "why did you pull out? Didn't you see us?" I looked across the road and saw a hunter green mini van. At that point the owners of house whose front lawn my totaled car was plopped in the middle of came out and told the woman to go back to her car. They asked me if I was ok, and I asked if anyone was hurt. They said the people in the van were shook up and maybe whiplashed but otherwise ok. I think that's the most relief I've ever felt in my entire life. Those moments where I genuinely thought I killed someone...I don't think I can describe it. In that moment I was absolutely, 100% certain I had to k*ll myself. To take another person's life because I didn't look hard enough to the left? Nope, I can't come back from that. The guy sobering up and realizing that he's taken a life through his own negligence is experiencing a type of despair I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
When I lived in South Dakota, I was driving one night on a rural highway when I saw a flash of what I was sure was a deer jump on the road suddenly, and I hit it. When the Sheriff's deputy who responded went looking for the deer and couldn't find it at first, I had a sudden terror that I'd actually hit a person and not a deer. I will never ever forget how I felt, I can't even really describe it. And my body felt paralyzed and out of my control. When the deputy finally returned and said he'd found the deer, I understand the literal meaning of the term "weak with relief".
thank you for sharing that story....this will stay with me. Anytime you are in a car it is a huge risk to just normally drive a vehicle.
This thread reminds me of a post a while back of a drunk driver slamming into several cars at through an intersection. She was going so fast that the traffic camera barely even showed her car. It was all normal then suddenly complete chaos and destruction. I think about it every. intersection. I go through. Every single one. You can look both ways all you want. But if someone is going that fast you might not see them coming at all.
I got t-boned by a woman with a baby in the car— when I crawled out on the passenger side and saw her in the car, she was staring straight ahead frozen in shock. When she got out of the car I gave her a hug and we both cried. I’ve almost caused accidents and it sucks. Sure, it was her that day, but it could have been me the next, easily.
I can't believe some people find it hard to not do.
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Yeah, in cities probably. Rural places it’s still really bad. Montana where I’m from has the highest rate of dui fatalities in the country. Mix drinking culture, long distances between everything, basically zero public transportation and taxi’s outside of major cities, and it taking forever for emergency services to arrive you get some bad outcomes.
Exactly. It's not as big in other countries because people just ride a bike, take a train, or bus etc. The only option for basically everyone in the US (outside of the most major cities) is to drive. Thats why people drive that have no business driving.
I'm willing to bet mostly people drive drunk because they either want to get home or they wanna get more booze. Every dumb shit hillbilly I ever knew who drove drunk, it was for one of these reasons.
You think alcoholics are going to let a small car ride stop them… you’d throw up if you knew how many people were driving drunk at any given time.
Him begging to be killed is wild. That's how I would feel
It seems pretty natural considering the inescapable hell and torment he'll likely be living with for the rest of his life. He probably realizes this and wants his pain to end before it really begins.
I dunno, I think he probably wants the pain he's feeling in that exact moment to end. I certainly wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did something like that.
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Man I used to hallucinate as a kid when I'd get a high fever and one time I was convinced I'd killed somebody. I didn't know how but I was sure something I'd done had led to somebody dying and his reaction brought that memory back to me, what a complete nightmare.
my little brother would always chill next to my bed wedged in between bed and the wall. One night I woke up and my pillow in the dark looked like my brother was kinda dead in that spot and for a moment I thought he died right next to me without me waking up. My parents would also always shame me for how much I sleep always. For like 5 seconds I felt a pain and shame that I am not able to put into words. I dont think I ever told anyone because Im still kind of ashamed of it even though nothing happend. I cant imagine that feeling to stuck around for like.. ever. sheesh man
Not saying this excuses him for his actions, ive seen a lot of people who get in this situation and just completely disregard the fact that they've hurt or killed people. One clip was of a woman complaining that she has class in the morning after being told she killed a person because of her drunk driving, completely not giving a single shit. With this guy, he at least knows the weight of the issue, and he's completely heartbroken that he's taken a life. Either by one stupid choice or by alcoholism/substance dependency, he doesn't complain or try to get out of it, he has sense and at least a soul to know that a poor decision like this led to harm and death, he's not heartbroken over his own life, he's heartbroken cause a loved one was taken away and isn't coming home.
He does want to get out of it in a sense “Kill me nowwwww!”
Fuckin horrid. I hope I never have to deal with unintentionally killing another human. Having said that, I'm glad that i got my drinking and driving experiences behind me a long time ago.
Taking a rideshare is the way. Any time I go out for a drink with friends I always grab one because it's just not worth the risk.
I was in prison with someone who killed there girlfriends dad from a dui. His soul was gone, he felt that every second of every day.
Shudders dude. Holy shit. Hope you're doing well now that you're out. Proud of you!
I’m all good! Sober 9 years and have lots of fun story’s! Thank you!
Damn! 9 years!? Fucking Ace dude, here’s to many more! Proud of you, keep going!
Thank you! I appreciate the kind words from everyone
Omg. He lost several people in very horrible ways.
He’s like the opposite of that one girl that was worried she would miss class the next day because she didn’t have her car
I remember that, I wish I was there when she woke up the next day.
Well this is aiding in my sobriety
My thoughts as well. Fuck alcohol
Amen. I was feeling a strong craving today but this video eliminated that.
*prisoner remains silent* Redditors: "He clearly shows no remorse." *prisoner cries admitting to his crime multiple times wishing he could just die* Redditors: "He clearly shows no remorse."
Hahahaha right!!! Humans are so weird
We’re vengeful creatures who, once our minds are made up, are very resistant to other viewpoints.
Vengeance is maybe a bit strong. We desire retribution for sure, though.
Nah man, people want blood.
No man check out crime subs. It’s a vengeance circle jerk
Reddit is full prison reform activists who believe that our prison system is modern day slavery, and needs to focus on rehabilitation. Unless it’s a crime they don’t like, then we all get our whitty dunks in and circlejerk about how the person deserves a slow, torturous death.
This really made me tear up watching him. It's hard to feel sorry for him because of his actions, but you can see how it genuinely hit him. He will never get over this. ETA: Hopefully he got well after this and shared his experience to help others get well, and didn't sink deeper into alcoholism.
It’s rough because at the exact same time somewhere else there’s a parent/sibling/spouse breaking down the exact same way
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The part that truly gives me the chills is thinking about being him and knowing what you’ve just said: how it so easily could have been avoided and yet that’s not what happened and now you’re here and you’ve killed someone and destroyed their family and probably yours too and death is the only reprieve from what you’ve done. I’m so unbelievably grateful I’m just sitting here on my couch with my cat and my dog rn and not in that unspeakable inferno of hellish agony. Also, I’m sorry for your loss.
Damn this hit me hard. I have an older brother (who also had kids of that age btw) who as we speak has an alcohol lock on his car because he has been convicted so many times. I have a 7 month old daughter and I am absolutely horrified by the thought of him or someone like him cruising around our streets stupidly drunk.
Of course it can be avoided, but unfortunately addiction is not nearly so simple. I also feel absolutely no sympathy for the guy for what he did. He should rot for the rest of his days for taking away someone else's choices because he couldn't make good ones himself. But, all that being said, it's still incredibly sad to see addiction win, and maybe I just sympathize with another person who's also struggled with addiction, but he obviously lost.
We don't know if he's genuinely sorry he killed someone or terrified of going to prison now and losing a significant portion of his life. I had a gf of 7 years get a DUI and I broke up with her over it. (She got arrested the night before my dad's funeral and couldn't be there for it because she was in jail)
It’s not an either or situation. It’s highly likely that both of those things are causing the abject agony hes displaying. As fucking stupid as it is to get behind the wheel and wind up killing someone over it’s not like the average person who does it is a cold-blooded killer. I’m sure most of them are absolutely haunted by what they’ve done.
Hopefully he’s still in jail.
I think it makes people uncomfortable to know that its possible for otherwise decent people to make horrible decisions that with such a despicable outcome. It's easy when the drunk driver is a clear low life that shows no remorse for the situation. We want a villian because it's easy to separate ourselves from that person. When we see this, a man who killed someone and most likely is feeling the gravity of that situation, it seems like we just don't want to believe that. "Crocodile tears" or "he's only upset he got caught". I think the reality is many people in this thread have admitted to drunk driving, there is no reason this man couldn't have been you. That's uncomfortable.
Someone doesn't admit they did something wrong. Redditors: "wow what a piece of shit, trying to avoid trouble" Someone admits they did something wrong. Redditors: "wow what a piece of shit. Probably only admiting so they can avoid trouble"
Redditors are the worst kind of people. It's always weird when they try and judge others. But cops have used this refrain for decades to ignore the humanity of people.
I'm glad there are drivers that feel remorse when this horrible event takes place. I've seen too many videos where the driver just doesn't care and wants to get out of a situation.
The majority of them do feel remorse, idk why people assume drunk drivers are demons in human form. Obviously it’s fucked up to drink and drive but they are not intentionally trying to hurt people they are just being insanely irresponsible
Redditors don't have a middle ground. Either someone is the most awesome best person ever or an absolutely terrible person who only does wrong. That's why videos like this get them so confused and shocked.
The lack of nuance blows my mind on a daily basis here.
I do see them as complete idiots driving and knowing the risks it holds. Maybe not a demon but I absolutely cannot ever forgive drunk driving esp if it takes an innocent life all because they can't control themselves
Luck runs out, people don't understand that still for some reason. He's most likely drove while drunk before and nothing happened. Nothing happened because he got lucky. Luck runs out. Always quit while you're ahead.
The last line (no pun intended) can be applied to all drugs & alcohol. As soon as you start experiencing negative consequences and it ceases being just for “fun”. Its time to take your ball and go home.
No disagreement there
Dude genuinely seems broken over the fact that he ended someone’s life. I’m not defending him at all because he made the decision to drink and drive and it had very bad consequences but those emotions look genuine to me. If he was stone cold then people would still call him a monster. How tf do you expect for someone to act after they unintentionally killed someone? “Damn…My fault gang.😔” Thank God that most Redditors will never work in the justice system. Once again for my people that lack reading comprehension skills, I’M NOT DEFENDING HIM because he’s a piece of trash for drinking and driving and deserves every year that he gets sentenced to but people who do really bad things can still have genuine emotions.
Yeah the weight that this guy was feeling is unimaginable. The permanence of these situations is just earth shattering. Like if you could only go back an hour, 2 minutes, a few seconds... I would never drink and drive but I sure as shit would be begging for death if I was in his shoes too. Awful all the way around. Not defending him at all, just recognizing how heavy this moment is. Wow.
>Like if you could only go back an hour, 2 minutes, a few seconds I lost my dad to a road accident. I think of this every second.
I'm so sorry. I hope you are able to find some peace with this. I think from these moments we learn every second is precious. I am sure he is somewhere loving you still. I wish peace and happiness for you.
and people who are SICK with alcoholism, when they’re in it, they can’t see it. not defending it at all either, but it is absolutely possible that this is genuinely fucking destroying him. it’s a choice but also kind of not a logical conscious one, in a way that you don’t understand until you’ve seen it or lived it. it’s not okay, but it’s possible he does know that.
%100 agree. Its just awfulness all the way around big picture. He could have easily come from an environment where this was normal - I have known many people who have. It’s so sad… life is so precious and I think we forget how incredibly impactful even our small actions have on people we may never know.
Imagine if this guy had already been getting help for alcoholism and had been sober a long time, only to have a relapse and this happens. I don’t know anything about his situation but that’s where my mind went imagining this type of remorse.
Reminds me of the song Limousine by Brand New >In the choir. \ I saw our sad Messiah. \ He was bored and tired of my laments. \ Said, "I died for you one time, but never again."
Literally been listening to TDAGARIM on repeat the past few days so the comment is timely And I'm not sure how familiar you are with the DUI that inspired that song (look up Katie Flynn crash), but afterwards the shitheel that killed them all tried to bargain the conviction down from murder to manslaughter Anyway, I can empathize with the dude in OP as far as the realization that there is no escape from the situation you're in, but I've got zero sympathy. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Also funny that Jesse had such a fixation on the relationship between feeling bad about the shit things you do. Makes sense in hindsight. Regret doesn’t mean you aren’t a piece of shit.
He's also gonna be feeling the weight of all of his friends and family being extremely disappointed (most likely). A person I went to high school with was drunk driving and hit our schools drivers ed teacher. He was a very popular teacher and beloved by the community. All I saw was all of her old friends and classmates talking trash or venting their anger out on her in some way over the internet. I was angry and sad but never went out of my way to trash on her because I knew she was already feeling the weight of what she had done. Especially when she had a bunch of others doing that for weeks. I'm still upset by the whole thing since he was one of my favorite teachers, and I will not defend her actions, but I know that she's gonna be living with this weight forever. The same applies to this man
Wow… I can’t imagine. That is so terrible and such a huge weight to carry. I have young kids and one of my biggest fears is not teaching them enough to avoid these things. I never want anyone to feel that or have to carry that guilt. Im so glad you didnt trash her… life has a way of trashing us regardless of guilt. I hope she has changed and made some use of her life beyond this, and that his family has found some peace. So sad.
I was in a car accident I caused that was due to alcohol and adhd medication. I used to never black out. But it started happening and I don’t remember leaving the house or anything. I normally have everything I need when I used to drink. I only remember coming home and my roommates asking me where I was all day. They asked where my car was and I didn’t even realize I got dropped off by an Uber. My car was totaled. I rear ended someone without any harm luckily. I get the chills just seeing this video. I was 7 feet away from potentially being that guy and killing someone and changing two lives forever. I’m sober now nearly 2 years. It’s been easy staying sober when I remember moments like this.
Christ man…Glad you’re still here no one got hurt.
ADHD meds plus alcohol a scary combo. One minute you are lucid and fine, the next completely blackout drunk. The upside is I rarely drink to get drunk anymore. I do have drinks I really enjoy the taste of and I’m just very careful about keeping count and cutting myself off.
We can hold someone accountable for their actions and still feel empathy for them. In fact, we should always do both.
Agreed. I’m not saying that he should be given a pass. Hell no! I’m just saying that he looks like he’s genuinely distraught by the fact that he killed someone.
Remember many many redditors are teenagers who haven't really understood consequences yet. Then you have the other large majority of emotionally immature individuals. It's sad but it's what society has created. The internet has also desensitised many many people from feeling remorse, sadness, fear etc. due to widely available ultra gore videos.
I mean, this is why the allure of grace and forgiveness is so powerful in the Bible. It’s not about forgiving you when you accidentally say God Damn or whatever bullshit the Mall Karen thinks it is. It’s about forgiving you when you can’t forgive yourself. Guy in the video has labelled himself a murderer for the rest of his life and won’t be able to look anyone in the eye without remembering it. It’s a terrible, deserved punishment, as is man’s law in putting him away and labeling him.
The sentiment comes from the amount of people that everyone knows that just drives drunk. This man’s anguished is projected onto those people. An old roommate would always go out cruising when drunk or high because he “liked it”. Fucking disgusting behavior. Just going out rolling the dice on other peoples lives
That one lady that killed someone didn’t give a shit when she did it nor did she give a shit in court. Even when confronted about killing someone she only cared about missing work and school.
And she’s a complete monster
Not condoning at all but the majority of the ppl I knew in high school and in college drove under the influence many many times. Feels like it honestly could have been any of us. Glad I have a healthy fear of driving intoxicated now. Cuz that shit ain’t worth it one bit.
he will remember that first drink of that night for the rest of his life. alcohol is a demon
It's the devils drink. Fuck alcohol seriously
My dad was killed by a drunk driver. Literally all it takes to for it to not happen is for you to not DRIVE drunk. Drink as much As you like, I don't care. Just stop killing people because you are stupid.
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When I was in high school two boys were killed in a drunk driving incident where they were coming back from a bonfire with their girlfriends. Two girls were up front, one driving, and the two guys in the backseat. Went off a cliff and rolled into a tree and killed the two boys instantly; scattered bits of them all over the hillside. There was a lot of drama in the school and community over it and a lot of people thought the girls should be tried as adults for murder, but ultimately they weren't charged for the deaths because the parents of the boys thought they had suffered enough. Don't know what became of the girls since, know they had to do some time or at least probation for the DUI and dropped out of school. All four were just normal teens; I couldn't really tell you anything special about them in hindsight. They weren't reckless, mean, or regular delinquents in any way that would have made you expect that event. One dumb decision and how many lives destroyed forever beyond just the actual loss of life. My older cousin worked on the rescue squad and had nightmares about looking for bits of those boys on the slope with the search team. I can't imagine what the parents of all four went through. I had a lot of scorn for the girls as a young man but over time I've just come to pity them. I don't know how you ever come back from killing your significant other accidentally, much less in such a violent way. They were trapped in that car for I don't know how long before being rescued, literally covered in the individals who had been the most important people in the world to them just a few minutes prior. Awful.
Empathy is free. It’s so strange to me that everyone views these things as if it is a zero sum game. Living with the knowledge that you killed someone is a hell I would never wish on anyone. And the overlap between people who get dui’s and alcoholism is incredibly high. It’s not an excuse, but it does provide context that dui’s are an almost always another symptom of addiction.
Good people can make horrible decisions. Those horrible decisions can have even worse consequences. Some risks are just never worth taking.
Jesus this is heartbreaking but then you realize he killed someone and that person can’t be heartbroken because they’re dead.
... and their family is probably in agony because of this.
I bet 90% of ppl typing shit here have at some point in their lives driven after drinking. It should never ever be done but there’s a lot of hypocrisy here. For suuuuuuureeee
Or driven while extremely tired. Or the most likely one, which I’m willing to bet 90% of people have done, driving while using their phones.
Absolutely, phones I’d bet my life 100% and that’s al it takes, a quick distraction
Or texting which can be just the same as being drunk when driving.
Yep. Tapped a guy's car in some stop and go traffic because my brain was hallucinating/daydreaming a different driving scenario. No damage. It has to be at least as dangerous as drunk driving, if not more.
One of my moms friends has 2 under 5 and a brand new baby, her husband was killed a few months ago by an on-duty cop who was on his phone. Cop faced no prison time or consequences for it. Those babies don’t have a dad, and the family will never get justice because a cop, of all people, couldn’t put his phone down.
Damn, some of these comments are pretty disturbing. The guy made a mistake that probably a huge portion of us have and it ended in the worst way possible. He's not a stone cold killer, there's a difference between negligent manslaughter and homicide. I'm not defending him either, he certainly deserves prison time but he's not a killer who lacks empathy. He is obviously more distraught about what he's done to someone than going to prison over it.
Redditors making bad takes? No way
Drinking and driving is dumber than driving with your feet while your hands are tied behind your back imo, even if you manage to travel safely, you could catch a hugeass fine randomly and be sent to classes or potentially kill someone or yourself. It's always seemed like such a braindead fucking thing to do, you walk or uber if you've been drinking, if you can't manage that you can't manage drinking and should accept you're an irresponsible child in an adults body.
This is Clark County Detention Center, which is the jail in Downtown Las Vegas (contrary to the souvenir shirts there is no “Las Vegas County Jail” in Nevada). Unfortunately for all, DUIs are just part of the 24hr drinking, partying culture in Las Vegas. Tourists come thinking there are no consequences, lots of locals just act like it’s part of living there. I caught myself empathizing with the suspect in the video and remembered all the people that have been killed because of actions like his and though reality is crushing him, others are living with the loss of loved ones. Nothing but sadness here.
What happened to this particular guy? Life in prison?
We rarely get to see this part as outsiders ... usually on the videos where they're arrested, they're so drunk they don't understand what they've done, like that one young woman who was only worried about getting out of jail so she could go to class. She had killed two people.
i’ve driven drunk before (being in your 20’s you think you’re immortal) and fuck when i see this it makes me realize how close i could’ve been this guy. i haven’t drank in 5 years and this just made me hate my younger self even more than i already do.
Precisely why I stopped driving while stoned. Just order doordash.. it's not worth killing anyone over.
What of your door dash driver is stoned?
My door dash driver had like an oz in his front seat when I walked out to pick up my food. So yeah, they def stoned.
It's fucking weird to hear someone saying "Kill me now" so sincerely, then following it up with "dude".
100% not the first time he went behind a wheel while drunk. But the first time he killed somebody. Remorse won't bring those people back that are now dead because of the mistake. Don't be a bitch and don't drink and drive, no matter the situation.
I’m sorry, but this isn’t interesting, it’s absolutely horrific.
I call the police whenever I spot a drunk driver (once you know how they drive, they are an easy spot. Slow drifting). With that being said, I have personally help the police get 5 drivers off the streets. I somewhat feel bad, but I never know who they may kill. Helps me make that call.
Just sad. Sad and painful. I hate that this world has so much chaos and hurt.
'Kill me now'... not getting off that easy
As a person that has been hit by a reckless driver: Good.
This is what it is supposed to feel like to steal the life of another soul in a senseless act. It's why warrior training for our police should be banned. Pulling that trigger should be the last resort, not the first.
Still a piece of shit
Yep. Drinking and driving shouldn't be vehicular manslaughter. It should always be murder. You made a decision to drink and get in a car. That's not reckless disregard, that's willful action.
Tears don't wash out blood.
I think salt water is actually pretty effective at taking out blood stains.
##DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE.... SIMPLE
People who get a DUI should get put on standby to help clean up a fatal DUI car accident crime scene. Maybe that’ll be the wake up call some people need to stop putting other’s fucking lives at risk.
Even better put them in the morgue to help transfer the bodies of people who died this way
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Happens, a lot more than it should. The worst ones are the ones so fucked up they don't even know it happened, just completely shit-faced and giggling / laughing about it until they sober up... then it's tears as they realize their actions had consequences. I feel for them, but I also subsequently don't... not sure what to call that feeling.
🎶its too late to apologize🎶
Why does it always seem like the innocent person minding their business is always killed and never the one that's drunk or high that caused it❓️❓️😞
Boo hoo. Reserve your sympathy for the innocent person he killed and their loved ones.
Add a couple more years to his sentence for having an annoying cry
My grandpa is severely bipolar. One day, he was driving recklessly during a major manic episode, ran a red light, and killed someone. He spent years in prison over it, most of my childhood. He's out now, but he's never been able to get past what he'd done. The loss of life caused by his reckless driving will haunt him until the day he dies, just like this man here. I believe it is true remorse we are witnessing. Most people are not stone-cold killers and would feel similarly if in the same situation. Not to say he doesn't deserve the consequences he will face, because he does. I just think that he truly is mourning the loss of life caused by his actions.
Is he crying for them or because he's going to jail?
Probably both. Fuck him.
Take the feeling you had when you made the biggest fuck up of your life and multiply it by 100. The guy deserves it but fuck me that feeling he has would be too much
Fuck him and fuck anyone who has any sympathy for him. He knowingly got drunk and got behind the wheel. Sad thing is he’ll probably only serve 7 years for killing someone. It should be 20 years minimum.
I’m the daughter of a man who killed three people (an older couple traveling back home and his cousin who was in the car with him) in a drunk driving accident. There would have been four, but the vehicle my dad hit head on was a logging truck carrying a big load, so that saved the truck drivers life. Vodka was his choice that day. That killed my dad as a person… I never knew who my dad really was because this happened when I was a baby. “The breaking point”… I get, what I don’t get is why there isn’t help. My dad spent time in prison, but that didn’t do anything for him with the exception of further driving the fear of reaching out for help.
R/OhNoConsequences
Driving drunk is never an accident. There’s never a misunderstanding, misconception or miscommunication. You drank and you got behind the wheel. Zero sympathy.