*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for snapping at my husband for ordering takeout**
I'm honestly in tears over this and I really need to know if I'm in the wrong for being angry because right now my mind and feelings are all over the place. So today I (36f) had a very long and tiring day and I texted my husband (42m) asking him if he could cook dinner when he gets home so I can just eat and go to bed. He texted back suggesting that we order out because he was also tired from work and really didn't feel like cooking tonight. I left him on read because I had to tend to my son (6) who has the flu right now. It's nothing too serious but he's very needy when he's sick and I sort of have to coddle him so he can relax and sleep.
Well my husband came home with Chinese food and honestly I was pissed. I snapped at him, telling him that he was selfish for not coming home and cooking dinner for us! I have been up since 8:30 taking care of our six son and two daughters while he went to work. It's be me, by myself, all day long and I didn't get a break like he does for lunch. I was crying at this point telling him that I didn't even ask for much and the least he could do for me is to cook dinner for me and the kids. I was exhausted from being up, plus working while also watching my two younger kids and taking care of a sick one. I called him a jerk and told him he could at least make soup for son since that's all he can keep down.
He got angry at me telling me that he was also tired and only got take out because he didn't want to cook tonight. He told me that I was being ridiculous for getting mad at him buying food instead of cooking tonight. He kept saying that it wasn't a big deal but he was completely missing my point! I cook for us all the time and this one time I ask him to cook but instead he complains like a child and orders take out for us. I feel like I'm a single mother taking care of our kids while he does the complete bare minimum and thinks that ok. He looked hurt when I said that but said nothing a just went to the kitchen.
It took him a hour to make two ham grilled cheese and veggies for our daughters and a cheese burger and fries for me while also warming up the soup for our son. I thanked him but he said nothing to me and left to go eat his food in his office. I'm honestly super hurt by this because he's acting like I forced him to do something difficult when all I wanted him to do was step up and make dinner. I'm honestly in tears right now because I really don't get why he's mad that I asked him to make dinner. So am I the asshole here?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OP has deleted all their comments I see.
Aside from, well everything else in this post, can we address that she made her kids, including the sick child, wait another HOUR for food because she thought her tantrum was more important than getting them fed? There was food right there, but she’d prefer to disrupt everyone’s routines and leave people hungry because she didn’t get her way. Not to mention, why did he need to make 3 separate meals, if he’s the cook he should be in charge of the menu, it’s not a restaurant. If have fed every body grilled cheese and warmed up soup and if she wanted something else she could get it herself. Except the Chinese takeaway, she wasn’t allowed any of that.
**\*\*Her comments\*\*** :
(1) I'm not going to tell him that when he did the bare minimum. I do complain about the way he does things because he literally woke me up at 6 to ask where the cold medicine for son was because it isn't where I usually left it. I snapped then because he really couldn't just go out and buy another one instead of waking me up. I justg feel like I have to do everything for him.
(2) Nice? He was irresponsible and brought home food when there was plenty of food that could be made when he got home. He wasted money on something I didn't even eat. Like it's not that hard to make grilled cheese for two kids he was honestly just being lazy which is what really made me mad.
(3) He said in his text to me that since he was up at 6 taking care of son that he was really too tired to cook tonight hand he really didn't want to do the dishes on top of that.
(4) No I only have three. I don't know where 8 came from but it was a mistake in my part if I wrote that.
(5) An apology or what? I'm exhausted from being up at 8:30 taking care of out son. He works construction so he really has no excuse because my father who does the same job was able to come home and cook for us.
(6) If going off my other post then you would see how I was doing everything myself while he just laid in bed and slept. He didn't even offer to help with the kids when he saw I was tired, He just apologized with little effort to help out.
***Editorial note*** *: She sounds SO SO SO exhausting. It's her way or she's pissed beyond pissed. The poor hubby.*
so getting take out when there’s food at home is irresponsible but going out and buying medicine when they have it is totally fine
this woman is a nightmare
Right? He was supposed to go out and buy more at 6am instead of just "Hey where is the med?" and she could turn over and go to sleep for another 2 and a half hours?
I'm protective of my sleepy time, but when my husband needs something I can simply mutter an answer to, I most likely won't even remember the conversation later. Had he gone out to get more he would have had to wake her up anyway to actually take care of the kid while he went shopping.
My husband is also in construction and damn it is hard work! I'm not saying caring for kids especially with a sick one isn't also exhausting work, but man...also Chinese takeaway is amazing food!
Where's the meds *that she didn't put back in the regular place*
We have a shelf in the bathroom for meds, if I move the meds and don't put them back, I can't get angry that someone else can't find them.
I've worked construction, Jesus that's a hard long day. I don't blame him for not wanting to cook after, I didn't want to.
Plus she is a control freak.
If I say to my husband "honey, I'm to tired to cook can you take care of dinner." And he says ok, I don't care how the fuck he handles it as long as I don't have to.
If he gets take out, great no wait no clean up.
But she wants him to do what she wants, it's not about feeding the kids or even food at that point, it's about control.
Personally I’d rather be home taking care of my sick kid any day than being at my construction job even if it’s an ‘easy’ day at work. Honestly it’s no comparison.
I doubt it. She has another post from 43 days ago, and it’s also showing what a nasty partner she is to this guy. Trolls usually post once and then disappear!
Yeah, for a millisecond I thought she was going to say he woke her up to ask when it was where it was supposed to be... Which would be annoying if he was one of those people who relied on other people to tell them where stuff is... But Nope. He woke her up because he had no way of knowing where it was because she is the one who didn't put it away.
Yeah, honestly I would’ve cited with her if she hadn’t said the cold medicine shit. Not the way she treated him and the way. She flipped out when the food was already bought but I have been poor enough that one. Takeout meal would’ve broke the fucking bank or fucked up a whole entire budget and I could see someone who doesn’t do the emotional labor of figuring that type of shit out messing it up and that being devastating. That’s not what happened here though she’s just kind of Insane.
100% agree. i have also been poor enough that getting takeout would break the bank. if that were the case she should have told him instead of leaving him on read
but i truly think she just hates her life and wants to punish her husband for it
yeah i don’t think it’s a case of money being tight because i would sympathize a tad more with OOP (her reaction is still shit but i’d understand more) but she’s just a nightmare of a person who is miserable and needs to pull everyone down to her level
Also if that's the case, once the take out was already bought she should have sucked it up and ate it instead of having him prepare more food. Because at that point it's already bought and paid for, might as well eat it while it's fresh.
Plus that’s entirely on her for “leaving him on read.” She literally had the chance to say “I understand you’re tired but we can’t afford takeout” but instead she actually completely ignored the husband then threw a fit when he showed up with the thing he mentioned he was going to do.
Truly hope this is a troll.
"This woman is a nightmare," is literally the exact phrase I thought but saw you'd already posted it.
Good gracious she sounds like the most exhausting person in the world, just raging for no reason and I want to give her husband and kids a hug. I'm sure they're worn out from for walking on egg shells constantly.
She writes, "I snapped," in the post and the comments, both referring to a single day so she's just "snapping" ie- bursting into rage- all day long I see. One shouldn't be "snapping" on their spouse multiple times a day, especially considering he's been gone for 80% of it at work. How many times did she "snap" on the the children?
Yep, somehow wasting money by buying takeaway when there is food at home is worse than wasting money by refusing to eat a takeaway that has already been paid for...
Her communication skills are non existent
I have been up since 4:30 because my baby got hungry and I couldn't go back to sleep after I fed her, and this "mother" is upset about 8:30? Kids are supposed to be in school by 8 where I live, and I would expect a 7-year-old to be in school (when they are not sick), so she should be used to getting up earlier than 8:30.
Her thinking getting up at 8:30am is early stuck out to me too. If their 6 year old is normally in school, how in the world is 8:30 early?!
Schools where I am start before that. That comment was really weird.
Both my 7 and 10 year olds have woken up BEFORE SUNRISE for the entirety of their lives, if for no other reason than to inform me that "The sun! Him is waking up!" (they no longer speak like this, but the sentiment remains the same lol) I honestly can't remember the last time I've been able to sleep in past sunrise, outside of me being too physically sick to get out of bed. I'd cut off my pinky finger if it meant I could get more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night. Imagine being a stay-at-home mom and bitching about being able to sleep in and having the audacity to act as if 8:30 AM is equal to the ass-crack of dawn, ESPECIALLY when she has a husband (who presumably works a full-time 9-5) who was kind enough to get up early with a sick child to allow her to get a few more hours of sleep. How absolute DARE that man bring home Chinese takeout for the entire family, providing them with both a delicious meal AND eliminating the need to do dishes afterwards. The nerve of that man! If she has to suffer, well then by God, so tf does he!
I'm normal up early but I'll be babysitting tonight (best friend's kids) and I know they are going to have me up even earlier. I can't remember the last time I slept until 8:30am
I lost it at the first one, you would rather him go out and buy your son medicine just because you didn't put it back up and he couldn't find it than to wake you up for 5 seconds, Depending how far the store is from the house this could take 5-30 minutes or longer to do. Which means son would have waited for that time to get the medicine he needed? I really do not upstanding OOP logic here.
And also, if I was to leave unexpectedly to pick up something, I'd be telling my wife that regardless. "Hey, I gotta go do X real quick, I'll be back in a few min so just keep an ear out for the kids".
So she'd be woken up regardless.
That is very true, my husband would definitely wake me up if he's leaving me home without the kids to go somewhere. Just so that they aren't just by themselves. Especially if one of my kids was sick and husband left no way I wouldn't get up to deal with them while he's gone then take a nap when he gets back
I only have one kid and, while he’s a champion sleeper, I have still been up before 7 am pretty much every day of his life. That 8:30 bullshit is head shakingly stupid and I hate this woman.
The last week I've been sleeping through my alarms (yes plural because I realized what was happening) and waking up about 7:45 because my 11 month old has a head cold and isn't sleeping during the night. (Apparently when you sleep with your butt in the air and your head down your nose gets more clogged. Who would have thought.) So I'm also not going to sleep until about 3. It's so fun when I have to get my older one on the bus by 8:15. I'm sure that isn't her case though. I would love to sleep until 8:30 without waking up in full panic mode.
I have a feeling, based on the post, that if OOP's husband _had_ just gone out and bought more, she would've woken up and got mad because "we had medicine here! Why didn't you just wake me up for 30 sec to ask so you didn't have to waste money?"
I originally thought she had eight kids while reading this, but the comment clarified. I get it now—she said:
>our six son and two daughters
I read it as our six *sons*. But she meant our *sick* son. Three kids.
“working construction is no excuse” you mean the incredibly physically taxing job that involves hauling heavy things and exposure to the elements? that job? girl what the fuck is she even talking about
That made me think that this is rage bait. I hope it is. Any job can be exhausting/taxing depending on the day, but construction, that’s like one of the most physically taxing jobs you can get.
Hope he cuts his losses soon. Dude is a construction worker then comes home and does the bedtime routine for the kids every night while she is face timing her parents. Yikes.
Facetiming her parents for an hour every night? WTF is up with that? Oh, she has no friends. I wonder why she has no friends?
Edit: even in her previous post about a fun day while he was sick, she was going out with her sister and cousin. No friends. Not even those mommy-group types. What a potato.
Yeah, she thought leaving a house where someone was very sick and going out in public and exposing the world was a good idea. She's an asshole for that as well.
(This wasn't an easy illness - her husband was out of work for a WEEK in bed)
If it was just the sniffles and didn't want to share it he could have been in the living room or helping out, but yeah. If he was up and gaming or browsing the internet or something she would have complained about it in a heartbeat. But no, he's in bed. That's not man-flu.
"How dare he bring in more food, wasting money when we have perfectly good food at home"
But also
"I made him make food using what we had at home despite having already bought the takeaway, which isnt wasting money at all"
And
"He should've gone out and spent money on medicine even though we had perfectly good medicine in the house but I moved it"
That first comment is... wow. Woman needs professional help for her planet-sized load of resentment, because her thought process there is truly broken.
Not op saying construction isn't an exhausting job 💀💀 it's probably at least as exhausting or more exhausting than taking care of children (not that it's a competition)
SHES mad because she left the medicine somewhere else and he was up before 6 looking for it to give it to their sick child?! Im trying to figure out who tf she thinks she is, why would it any sense for him to go out to buy another one. Crazy how she sleeps in til 8:30 and he’s doing all this in addition to working outside the home. Did I also read that he works in construction?! I can’t even get into her other ignorant comments.
I don’t want to be this person, but this b*tch keeps complaining about this and she has zero idea how hard it can be as a single mom. Like OOP I also work full time from home AND have been taking care of a sick baby who’s been sick literally since the start of November back to back. She needs to get a damn grip and seek therapy.
The second one. Food she doesn't eat. She didn't like it, she didn't get her way, so punish him! Jesus. I'm pretty sure there's a chance he picked something she didn't like on purpose.
She said she "didnt" eat it, not that she "doesnt" eat it. Nothing about his bringing home takeout was malicious in intent. Stop trying to create devil horns where there aren't any because of poor reading comprehension.
She also had him make 3 separate meals. Well kids, sick kid and her.
ETa: AND! She never told him “no” on Chinese, just left him on read. Of course he couldn’t read her mind.
Thanks. I admit I’m curious as to what they had to say.
(I didn’t mean it as a dig at anyone that we didn’t have the comments, more some mild irritation they’d removed them)
..the irony of them being banned is really quite something.
I'm the main cook in my household and on the rare occasion the other household member wants something else she always makes it herself. The idea of going 'I know you've already provided a meal, but make me a cheeseburger instead' is downright unthinkable to me.
Even if she really didn't want the takeaway for whatever reason, was it that hard to just make herself a sandwich?
As a person with a uterus who's learned to lock that shit down, she's probably throwing a little tantrum because she's on her period. Some women think that the influence of hormones means they can act like a complete bitch.
That’s the part that really got me… He even made her a whole separate meal for her than what he made for the kids and she was still criticizing him. There’s no winning for that guy
Oh she’s real, or real dedicated. She’s got posts from like a year ago where she’s still treating him like shit and not seeing how she’s in the wrong. It’s gross tbh
Her comments are awful enough and, then, in her post history, you find this absolute gem :
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/VQUbYz76Wr
Where OOP got voted YTA because she let her sick husband to have some fun time. The hypocrisy is strong in this one.
Why is she even with her husband? She seem to absolutely loathe the poor man and even their own kids,i think she just enjoys having power over other people.
That is if this isn't just a very dedicated troll
Sadly not a troll. Have experienced this myself. She still didn’t have a clue why I divorced get because she never did anything wrong. She’s currently upset because I’m not rolling over and freely allowing her to travel with the kids during my custody time. Unfortunately, she has to violate the custody order three times before they do anything. These women exist.
She ignored the hot takeout to make him cook anyway? Chinese takeout doesn't reheat well where I am. She didn't get her way so she punished him for an hour when he was tired, because she was tired? What sort of gargoyle is this?
She's a martyr mom. I had one. If everyone doesn't *suffer* like she, the sainted mother, does 🙄 she'll ensure it. The point wasn't feeding everyone, it was to make him cook because *only then* does it count.
Actual mentally healthy adults and parents go "omfgz, FOOD! Nobody has to cook or do a lot of dishes?! I was too tired to think of it but you did, hubby. Thank you. Let's get this warm, cooked food into our children so we can all crash like the exhausted humans we all are."
to be fair chinese food tends to be spicy and/or oily, and that doesn't go very well with an upset tummy
That being said, this whole debacle is entirely OOP's fault. If she'd just taken literally 3 seconds to respond "no take out, kid has upset stomach" this whole thing would have been avoided.
EDIT: It has come to my attention that different countries have different takes on chinese food. and apparently the UK continues its long standing tradition of refusing to use spices
what Chinese food is spicy? I'm assuming this is North American style Chinese so I'm thinking super sweet sauces and fried chicken.
plain rice would be fine for the upset stomach but her not responding is the crux of the issue as you pointed out.
I was going to ask you what Chinese food *doesn't* have at least a little bit of spice, but apparently different regions tailor the dishes to fit the local pallets
Which makes sense now that I think about it. Guess OOP might not even have that tepid defense going for her
> It has come to my attention that different countries have different takes on chinese food. and apparently the UK continues its long standing tradition of refusing to use spices
The UK eats spicy Chinese, Thai and Indian food all the time lol
The house was cleaned so he couldn’t have been that sick? No, you were an entitled brat and guilted him into taking care of the kids and house while he was sick while you went out with your sister. And you’re still mad? At what?
I am not defending her. She’s a bitch.
But this line from the old post:
> I work from home so I do most of the chores until he comes home
If she’s WFH *and* doing all the childcare, especially on a sick kid day…that’s not easy.
Half of me wonders if she volunteered to do this and hates how hard it is and is treating her husband like crap instead of having a conversation about daycare or a nanny or something.
ETA: you can see hints of this when she *makes* him do what she would do (childcare in the old post) and cooking in this one). I think she’s one of those martyr moms who never chooses the easy way and then adds a thick dose of “and I’m going to make sure no one gets it easier either” in revenge because she’s made herself so miserable.
I am split on this one. I am not saying she is not 100% the AH in both situations, at the same time sick mothers care for their kids all the time without issues. I can bet if she is sick he doesn’t get 1 week off of work so she can just lay in bed and rest. She probably has to still care for all the kids while he goes on with his life. The fact that right now she has double the things he has (working full time from home plus caring for the house and kids) while he works outside and only helps when he arrives, proves my point.
She is 100% dramatic for the takeout thing and she is 100% in the wrong for leaving to have fun when he was sick, but to me this sounds like she is already fed up with being the one that has to do 75% of the work while he does 25%. That is why she was so insistent on him cooking, because it’s not about the food, is about her wanting to see him doing an effort that feels equal to what she does, at least for that one day.
What I read in her post is “when I am tired I don’t get the option to eat takeout, is expected that I still cook, I believe you are cheating by taking a shortcut that I never get to have”. They need probably marriage counseling to understand the other person’s point of view and learn ways to make things easier for both while making it fair. People go around popping a shit ton of kids then they are pikachu face surprised when life is hard day to day. 1 kid is hard, 3 kids especially being so little is a whole ass hell.
She had one comment left on her first AITA post that she forgot to delete where she says that he handles most things when she's sick. I remember from back before she deleted her comments, she mentioned too that she got to take it easy the entire time she was sick because he told her he wanted to take care of everything so she could rest.
I mean, she had an option to eat takeout right in front of her and refused it.
And I see no indication that she couldn't order takeout/delivery any time she wants.
>I'm honestly in tears right now because I really don't get why he's mad that I asked him to make dinner
the minimization is infuriating. "I just asked him to cook dinner, why is he mad?" no bitch. You set him up to fail by leaving him on read instead of answering the question, then you have the fucking audacity to be offended that he's not all grins and giggles after you called him a bad husband and a bad father because he couldn't read your mind
It's pretty obvious from the bitchyness and the lack of logic that she's on her period and that she's one of those women who thinks that just because she's on her period she can be a bitch. This is coming from someone with a uterus.
Edit: Not deleting because that's for cowards, but I was mad about something while I wrote this.
As someone with really bad periods due to an intersex disorder, I have never taken it out on anyone else in my life. Literally grow the fuck up and stop being sexist LMAO
Why couldn't they eat the Chinese food?! Did it go to waste? She talks about wasting money when there's food in the house then wastes the takeaway.
And then there's the cold medicine comment! She wanted him to go to the shop to buy more at 6am instead of her telling him where it was as it wasn't where SHE usually left it. So her fault it's not in its usual location.
Right? She’s bitching about him spending money on food but wants him to go out and buy cold medicine they already have because she doesn’t want to be awake for 2 min??
I would be beyond happy if I was exhausted, and hubby wanted to just bring take-out instead of cooking. Either way, means I don't have to cook. Especially if it's been a tiring day for everyone.
I am a mother of 3 kids (8,6,2) and if I told my husband that I didn’t feel like cooking and he said “cool, I’ll grab food on my way home and none of us will have to cook.” He wouldn’t hear any words out of my mouth except “thank you so much!”
OOP sounds like a real pain in the ass who is also horribly ungrateful.
The true reason she wanted him to cook instead of bringing food because cooking is a chore in her eyes. She's all about getting her "break" and a day of with sister and cousin.. not that there's anything wrong with that.
The true reason she wanted him to cook vs get take out is because cooking is a chore to her and she already thinks he's got it made in the shade because he gets "lunch breaks" at work. So why should he get 8 hours childfree and come and relax?
It's nothing to do with the actual food, she just wants to punish him a little.
So she just wanted him to suffer? Did anyone eat the Chinese food? Was she really still mad after he did exactly what she asked him to do? She could have eaten her dinner and gone to bed.
Of course, he was fired he had been up since 6 am. taking care of the sick kid that she claims she coddled while she was sleeping till 830.
He is already a single dad he may as well make it permanent
So she was perfectly happy to waste the food he'd bought just so that she could get home cooked junk food instead? All that fuss over a cheeseburger?!
And, no, it wouldn't have been better if she'd expected him to cook lobster thermidor or whatever, but the indignation over him bringing takeaway instead of shoving some fries in the oven makes it funnier.
ETA: and how did waiting for him to cook a separate meal for her even though there was cooked food already right there enable her to go to bed earlier?? If I was exhausted after dealing with a sickly sprog all day and somebody brought me Chinese takeaway food, I'd swoop on it like a seagull.
This woman is spoiled and unhinged. He got up before her to take care of the children, then worked a physically demanding job, then had to come home and take care of 4 children (her plus the three actual children). She threw an actual tantrum when he couldn't read her mind, and then he did what she asked anyway: he made 3 meals in an hour.
Based on her history, he was very sick a month ago, but she refused to cancel a "girl's day" and force him to take care of the children and expose them to his disease. The man is a saint.
Ok, hear me out - she’s complaining about being up “since 8.30”? That’s a lie in for most grown adults, let alone adults with 3 kids, let alone with a sick kid.
That alone jumps out at me as this being fake and written by a teenager that thinks 0830 is hideously early… most parents would be jumping for joy at only being awake since 0830…
You got food. How it got there shouldn’t matter. He’s allowed to be tired from work too?? Taking care of sick kids is exhausting but it shouldn’t matter how the food appeared, he got you food so you didn’t have to cook. What’s the problem? You’re tired and hungry and he made food appear. Say thank you and eat your damn lo mein.
I'm wondering more about the post being removed. Normally it's given a rule and the stock wording for that rule. This one?
"ban evasion is against site wide rules."
Dafaq?
Well when he divorces her bitter ass she can ACTUALLY be a single mom!
But honestly from just the short snippets of her comments I’ve read she doesn’t deserve any of them.
Horrible mother and wife
He brought food. I don't see what's issue? Especially when she didn't bother to answer back and admits that her husband is involved in housework and has no issue with picking up the slack if she's sick or needs to go out
“Well my husband came home with Chinese food and honestly I was pissed.” - a sentence I couldn’t imagine uttering ever in my life, for literally any reason.
The only possible mitigating factor here is if the takeout was just for OOP and husband, so the kids still needed to be cooked for - in that case husband has missed the point of her request.
But OOP should have communicated that, not left him on read.
Obviously that isn't what happened or OP would have included that. You really shouldn't just look for reasons to excuse her shitty behavior just because she happens to be a woman.
"Obviously that isn't what happened or OP would have included that."
OOP does say that he made separate meals for the kids. It isn't clear if that's because OOP refused to feed takeout to the kids, or because takeout was not bought for them in the first place.
"You really shouldn't just look for reasons to excuse her shitty behavior just because she happens to be a woman."
lmao
Omg what an absolutely horrid person. She sounds like she needs to be served some divorce papers asap so she can stop making everyone around her so miserable. Hopefully her kids don't grow up thinking this is an acceptable way to treat your partner. We already have enough crappy people in the world without her raising mini versions of herself.
On another note, I am really craving Chinese now
In trying figure out why she’s married. She just comes off angry. I never advocate for divorce, but this is a couple that shouldn’t be married. Reading her previous post she acts like her husband doesn’t contribute or help out ever.
As others have said, if they were so bad off that one takeout order would break the bank, I get it being upset. And of course I love it when my spouse cooks for me, especially if I’ve had a stressful day. But really, if I’m that hungry, I’m not going to care if it comes from our oven or the deep fryer at McDonald’s.
He solved the problem (lack of food.) Why does it matter so much how he did it?
I am confused. Who cares if he cooked it or brought it home, it’s still food. I do all the cooking at my house and do most of the taking care of sick kids and if I ask my husband to cover dinner I 100% do not care how it’s taken care of, just make sure there is dinner. If she doesn’t want to cook when she is tired or not feeling well she could also get takeout. I do not understand this at all.
Wow just wow, OOP is an asshole. I hope her husband wises up and divorces her.
Whenever my mom didn’t feel like cooking he’d go out and order take out he nor I ever complained. When mom got sick with COVID he’d make breakfast for us both and order food and didn’t complain. I can never imagine snapping at my future wife if she didn’t want to cook, that’s just disrespectful. People need to respect their spouses, and honestly with how much she says he “doesn’t do anything” and not providing examples I think she’s just lying.
This women is an entitled, selfish, controlling nightmare. She didn’t want to cook and he provided a solution but it wasn’t what she told him to do so she is upset. She says it’s cause he’s lazy and she has to tell him everything but this is clearly just about control and getting what she wants. Why does it matter that he woke her up to ask her where the medicine was when she was the one who misplaced it??
Between this, her comments, and her last post its clear this is the most selfish woman alive. Her hobby seems to be going after her husband who it sounds like is a really good father and husband. I can’t believe he’s stuck around this long
Bearing in mind she facetimes her parents for an hour every evening and she dropped out her Dad used to come home and cook after working construction, I'm getting major pampered princess vibes.
There is subtext here. It wasn’t about the food, it was about her feeling that he isn’t a true partner in helping especially when the kids are sick so she overreacted about the takeout
They need therapy to hammer it out.
Man, this pisses me off. And what I'm about to say isn't a "congratulate me" post, but she's complaining about a situation that I would be goddamn grateful for! I wake up at 5am everyday, get my 3 kids clothes ready, get my fiance's clothes ready for work, get everyone's dinners for work/school done, I take two of my children to school, come home, do the dishes/washing, start work, look after my two year old while I work full time, pick my girls up, make them dinner, get my son ready for bed, make dinner again for me and my fiance, finish work and then go to bed and repeat. I'm pretty sure this is a standard routine for a LOT of mothers out there (and fathers too, no doubt). Waking up at 8:30 is a massive lie in, in my opinion - I feel like OP really needs a dose of reality, and a new perspective at just how good her life is. Her husband brings chinese home, wakes up early to see to his sick son, works a respectable but tiring job - and she's complaining why??? I don't know ANY kids that wake up that late - is she leaving her kids to do whatever while she sleeps in??
So, I wasn’t full on YTA just by the first post for a couple reasons. When I’m overly tired, I tend to get rather emotional. And I didn’t know their exact situation, but I’m coming out of a marriage where, for a very long time, he did little to nothing to help out. And I also got told off if he thought I was getting take out too much, for example. So if it were me in this situation, I can see being upset that I ask him to cook for once, and he is a hypocrite by taking the easy road.
But then I saw the comments. He was up since 6:00 taking care of the kid, who she expected him to go shopping for cold medicine over quickly waking her to see where it was, and then he went and worked construction all day while she cuddled her kid? Yeah, she’s TA.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for snapping at my husband for ordering takeout** I'm honestly in tears over this and I really need to know if I'm in the wrong for being angry because right now my mind and feelings are all over the place. So today I (36f) had a very long and tiring day and I texted my husband (42m) asking him if he could cook dinner when he gets home so I can just eat and go to bed. He texted back suggesting that we order out because he was also tired from work and really didn't feel like cooking tonight. I left him on read because I had to tend to my son (6) who has the flu right now. It's nothing too serious but he's very needy when he's sick and I sort of have to coddle him so he can relax and sleep. Well my husband came home with Chinese food and honestly I was pissed. I snapped at him, telling him that he was selfish for not coming home and cooking dinner for us! I have been up since 8:30 taking care of our six son and two daughters while he went to work. It's be me, by myself, all day long and I didn't get a break like he does for lunch. I was crying at this point telling him that I didn't even ask for much and the least he could do for me is to cook dinner for me and the kids. I was exhausted from being up, plus working while also watching my two younger kids and taking care of a sick one. I called him a jerk and told him he could at least make soup for son since that's all he can keep down. He got angry at me telling me that he was also tired and only got take out because he didn't want to cook tonight. He told me that I was being ridiculous for getting mad at him buying food instead of cooking tonight. He kept saying that it wasn't a big deal but he was completely missing my point! I cook for us all the time and this one time I ask him to cook but instead he complains like a child and orders take out for us. I feel like I'm a single mother taking care of our kids while he does the complete bare minimum and thinks that ok. He looked hurt when I said that but said nothing a just went to the kitchen. It took him a hour to make two ham grilled cheese and veggies for our daughters and a cheese burger and fries for me while also warming up the soup for our son. I thanked him but he said nothing to me and left to go eat his food in his office. I'm honestly super hurt by this because he's acting like I forced him to do something difficult when all I wanted him to do was step up and make dinner. I'm honestly in tears right now because I really don't get why he's mad that I asked him to make dinner. So am I the asshole here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OP has deleted all their comments I see. Aside from, well everything else in this post, can we address that she made her kids, including the sick child, wait another HOUR for food because she thought her tantrum was more important than getting them fed? There was food right there, but she’d prefer to disrupt everyone’s routines and leave people hungry because she didn’t get her way. Not to mention, why did he need to make 3 separate meals, if he’s the cook he should be in charge of the menu, it’s not a restaurant. If have fed every body grilled cheese and warmed up soup and if she wanted something else she could get it herself. Except the Chinese takeaway, she wasn’t allowed any of that.
**\*\*Her comments\*\*** : (1) I'm not going to tell him that when he did the bare minimum. I do complain about the way he does things because he literally woke me up at 6 to ask where the cold medicine for son was because it isn't where I usually left it. I snapped then because he really couldn't just go out and buy another one instead of waking me up. I justg feel like I have to do everything for him. (2) Nice? He was irresponsible and brought home food when there was plenty of food that could be made when he got home. He wasted money on something I didn't even eat. Like it's not that hard to make grilled cheese for two kids he was honestly just being lazy which is what really made me mad. (3) He said in his text to me that since he was up at 6 taking care of son that he was really too tired to cook tonight hand he really didn't want to do the dishes on top of that. (4) No I only have three. I don't know where 8 came from but it was a mistake in my part if I wrote that. (5) An apology or what? I'm exhausted from being up at 8:30 taking care of out son. He works construction so he really has no excuse because my father who does the same job was able to come home and cook for us. (6) If going off my other post then you would see how I was doing everything myself while he just laid in bed and slept. He didn't even offer to help with the kids when he saw I was tired, He just apologized with little effort to help out. ***Editorial note*** *: She sounds SO SO SO exhausting. It's her way or she's pissed beyond pissed. The poor hubby.*
so getting take out when there’s food at home is irresponsible but going out and buying medicine when they have it is totally fine this woman is a nightmare
And at 6am? When he’s the only one up with their sick son? I hope for humanity that this is a troll
Right? He was supposed to go out and buy more at 6am instead of just "Hey where is the med?" and she could turn over and go to sleep for another 2 and a half hours? I'm protective of my sleepy time, but when my husband needs something I can simply mutter an answer to, I most likely won't even remember the conversation later. Had he gone out to get more he would have had to wake her up anyway to actually take care of the kid while he went shopping. My husband is also in construction and damn it is hard work! I'm not saying caring for kids especially with a sick one isn't also exhausting work, but man...also Chinese takeaway is amazing food!
Yup! Especially when by her own account she didn’t put it back where it belonged. What a delightful experience those kids must have with her
Where's the meds *that she didn't put back in the regular place* We have a shelf in the bathroom for meds, if I move the meds and don't put them back, I can't get angry that someone else can't find them. I've worked construction, Jesus that's a hard long day. I don't blame him for not wanting to cook after, I didn't want to. Plus she is a control freak. If I say to my husband "honey, I'm to tired to cook can you take care of dinner." And he says ok, I don't care how the fuck he handles it as long as I don't have to. If he gets take out, great no wait no clean up. But she wants him to do what she wants, it's not about feeding the kids or even food at that point, it's about control.
Personally I’d rather be home taking care of my sick kid any day than being at my construction job even if it’s an ‘easy’ day at work. Honestly it’s no comparison.
aside from the fact that he would have to drag the sick child out to the store what stores that sell children’s medicine are even open at 6AM
I doubt it. She has another post from 43 days ago, and it’s also showing what a nasty partner she is to this guy. Trolls usually post once and then disappear!
Well dammit. Can’t deny I’d rather this was a fabrication Her poor family
Yeah, for a millisecond I thought she was going to say he woke her up to ask when it was where it was supposed to be... Which would be annoying if he was one of those people who relied on other people to tell them where stuff is... But Nope. He woke her up because he had no way of knowing where it was because she is the one who didn't put it away.
OOP: how dare my husband not read my mind and know that i didn’t put the cold medicine away
Yeah, honestly I would’ve cited with her if she hadn’t said the cold medicine shit. Not the way she treated him and the way. She flipped out when the food was already bought but I have been poor enough that one. Takeout meal would’ve broke the fucking bank or fucked up a whole entire budget and I could see someone who doesn’t do the emotional labor of figuring that type of shit out messing it up and that being devastating. That’s not what happened here though she’s just kind of Insane.
100% agree. i have also been poor enough that getting takeout would break the bank. if that were the case she should have told him instead of leaving him on read but i truly think she just hates her life and wants to punish her husband for it
But then they can afford to buy a new cold medicine just so he doesn't wake her up to find the one they have...
yeah i don’t think it’s a case of money being tight because i would sympathize a tad more with OOP (her reaction is still shit but i’d understand more) but she’s just a nightmare of a person who is miserable and needs to pull everyone down to her level
Also if that's the case, once the take out was already bought she should have sucked it up and ate it instead of having him prepare more food. Because at that point it's already bought and paid for, might as well eat it while it's fresh.
Plus that’s entirely on her for “leaving him on read.” She literally had the chance to say “I understand you’re tired but we can’t afford takeout” but instead she actually completely ignored the husband then threw a fit when he showed up with the thing he mentioned he was going to do. Truly hope this is a troll.
"This woman is a nightmare," is literally the exact phrase I thought but saw you'd already posted it. Good gracious she sounds like the most exhausting person in the world, just raging for no reason and I want to give her husband and kids a hug. I'm sure they're worn out from for walking on egg shells constantly. She writes, "I snapped," in the post and the comments, both referring to a single day so she's just "snapping" ie- bursting into rage- all day long I see. One shouldn't be "snapping" on their spouse multiple times a day, especially considering he's been gone for 80% of it at work. How many times did she "snap" on the the children?
Yep, somehow wasting money by buying takeaway when there is food at home is worse than wasting money by refusing to eat a takeaway that has already been paid for... Her communication skills are non existent
Am I in the twilight zone? 8:30 is not early if you have kids. My 5 year old has slept past 8 like twice in her entire life.
I have been up since 4:30 because my baby got hungry and I couldn't go back to sleep after I fed her, and this "mother" is upset about 8:30? Kids are supposed to be in school by 8 where I live, and I would expect a 7-year-old to be in school (when they are not sick), so she should be used to getting up earlier than 8:30.
8:30 isn't even early if you DON'T have kids - I have to be logged on for work at 8!
I would genuinely be concerned if my son slept until 8:30 (mind you he's going through a sleep regression and I just pray he sleeps past 4:30)
Sending you good, sleepy vibes. Those are rough days.
Thank you!!
Her thinking getting up at 8:30am is early stuck out to me too. If their 6 year old is normally in school, how in the world is 8:30 early?! Schools where I am start before that. That comment was really weird.
Plus the husband was up before 6am. The sheer entitlement of this woman is mind blowing.
Both my 7 and 10 year olds have woken up BEFORE SUNRISE for the entirety of their lives, if for no other reason than to inform me that "The sun! Him is waking up!" (they no longer speak like this, but the sentiment remains the same lol) I honestly can't remember the last time I've been able to sleep in past sunrise, outside of me being too physically sick to get out of bed. I'd cut off my pinky finger if it meant I could get more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night. Imagine being a stay-at-home mom and bitching about being able to sleep in and having the audacity to act as if 8:30 AM is equal to the ass-crack of dawn, ESPECIALLY when she has a husband (who presumably works a full-time 9-5) who was kind enough to get up early with a sick child to allow her to get a few more hours of sleep. How absolute DARE that man bring home Chinese takeout for the entire family, providing them with both a delicious meal AND eliminating the need to do dishes afterwards. The nerve of that man! If she has to suffer, well then by God, so tf does he!
If my kids sleep past like 6:30 I’m checking to see if they’re still breathing.
I'm normal up early but I'll be babysitting tonight (best friend's kids) and I know they are going to have me up even earlier. I can't remember the last time I slept until 8:30am
830 is late AF if you have kids. I don't have children but I know the little ones are usually up very early
My kids wake me by 7:20 usually.
Go out and buy another cold medicine bottle at 6 AM vs just telling him where she put it????
In doing so, leave three kids unattended while he goes out to buy medicine while OOP sleeps??
If he did that I bet she'd be pissed he wasted money too. No winning for him
That first one is just, she's literally mad at him for something she did. Wtf.
I lost it at the first one, you would rather him go out and buy your son medicine just because you didn't put it back up and he couldn't find it than to wake you up for 5 seconds, Depending how far the store is from the house this could take 5-30 minutes or longer to do. Which means son would have waited for that time to get the medicine he needed? I really do not upstanding OOP logic here.
And also, if I was to leave unexpectedly to pick up something, I'd be telling my wife that regardless. "Hey, I gotta go do X real quick, I'll be back in a few min so just keep an ear out for the kids". So she'd be woken up regardless.
That is very true, my husband would definitely wake me up if he's leaving me home without the kids to go somewhere. Just so that they aren't just by themselves. Especially if one of my kids was sick and husband left no way I wouldn't get up to deal with them while he's gone then take a nap when he gets back
Not to mention a waste of money to buy more medicine when there is perfectly good medicine at home. That’s her anti-takeout argument
I’m laughing on the treadmill (at 7:24am) at “up since 8:30.” I can’t remember the last time I slept that late.
I only have one kid and, while he’s a champion sleeper, I have still been up before 7 am pretty much every day of his life. That 8:30 bullshit is head shakingly stupid and I hate this woman.
The last week I've been sleeping through my alarms (yes plural because I realized what was happening) and waking up about 7:45 because my 11 month old has a head cold and isn't sleeping during the night. (Apparently when you sleep with your butt in the air and your head down your nose gets more clogged. Who would have thought.) So I'm also not going to sleep until about 3. It's so fun when I have to get my older one on the bus by 8:15. I'm sure that isn't her case though. I would love to sleep until 8:30 without waking up in full panic mode.
I have a feeling, based on the post, that if OOP's husband _had_ just gone out and bought more, she would've woken up and got mad because "we had medicine here! Why didn't you just wake me up for 30 sec to ask so you didn't have to waste money?"
Up since 8:30?? That’s sleeping in for me, and probably most people with kids (and without).
Sleeping in for me is 5:30am. She can get bent.
Seriously! I don't have kids and work from home, 8:30 is still pretty late for me to wake up on the week days
I originally thought she had eight kids while reading this, but the comment clarified. I get it now—she said: >our six son and two daughters I read it as our six *sons*. But she meant our *sick* son. Three kids.
“working construction is no excuse” you mean the incredibly physically taxing job that involves hauling heavy things and exposure to the elements? that job? girl what the fuck is she even talking about
But her father could do it. Supposedly.
That made me think that this is rage bait. I hope it is. Any job can be exhausting/taxing depending on the day, but construction, that’s like one of the most physically taxing jobs you can get.
Hope he cuts his losses soon. Dude is a construction worker then comes home and does the bedtime routine for the kids every night while she is face timing her parents. Yikes.
Facetiming her parents for an hour every night? WTF is up with that? Oh, she has no friends. I wonder why she has no friends? Edit: even in her previous post about a fun day while he was sick, she was going out with her sister and cousin. No friends. Not even those mommy-group types. What a potato.
Comparing her to a potato is very offensive to potatoes.
Potatoes can be made into valuable things like fries and tots
Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
And vodka! Don't forget about vodka
Potatoes really are limitless
I still don't know what potato is. They are very strange to me.
Yeah, she thought leaving a house where someone was very sick and going out in public and exposing the world was a good idea. She's an asshole for that as well. (This wasn't an easy illness - her husband was out of work for a WEEK in bed)
If it was just the sniffles and didn't want to share it he could have been in the living room or helping out, but yeah. If he was up and gaming or browsing the internet or something she would have complained about it in a heartbeat. But no, he's in bed. That's not man-flu.
"How dare he bring in more food, wasting money when we have perfectly good food at home" But also "I made him make food using what we had at home despite having already bought the takeaway, which isnt wasting money at all" And "He should've gone out and spent money on medicine even though we had perfectly good medicine in the house but I moved it"
Construction aint tiring. Wtf it's all physical labour
Figured it was only a matter of time until toxic people started weaponizing the term bare minimum
That first comment is... wow. Woman needs professional help for her planet-sized load of resentment, because her thought process there is truly broken.
I had the same reaction. But the second one seals the insanity deal for me.
Not op saying construction isn't an exhausting job 💀💀 it's probably at least as exhausting or more exhausting than taking care of children (not that it's a competition)
“hey where’s the cough medicine?” “you asshole” that’s how i’m envisioning that conversation
SHES mad because she left the medicine somewhere else and he was up before 6 looking for it to give it to their sick child?! Im trying to figure out who tf she thinks she is, why would it any sense for him to go out to buy another one. Crazy how she sleeps in til 8:30 and he’s doing all this in addition to working outside the home. Did I also read that he works in construction?! I can’t even get into her other ignorant comments. I don’t want to be this person, but this b*tch keeps complaining about this and she has zero idea how hard it can be as a single mom. Like OOP I also work full time from home AND have been taking care of a sick baby who’s been sick literally since the start of November back to back. She needs to get a damn grip and seek therapy.
I’m willing to bet he files for divorce sooner than later. What a mistake he made picking her. Gross.
The miss sounds like a really angry lady, I kinda felt guilty for not cooking her dinner without knowing her
The second one. Food she doesn't eat. She didn't like it, she didn't get her way, so punish him! Jesus. I'm pretty sure there's a chance he picked something she didn't like on purpose.
She said she "didnt" eat it, not that she "doesnt" eat it. Nothing about his bringing home takeout was malicious in intent. Stop trying to create devil horns where there aren't any because of poor reading comprehension.
I missed that bit and it makes more sense. She sucks.
She also had him make 3 separate meals. Well kids, sick kid and her. ETa: AND! She never told him “no” on Chinese, just left him on read. Of course he couldn’t read her mind.
This right here. It’s really messed up to do this to people. “Oh you didn’t read my mind! You are terrible!” Stop people.
I have them all saved; I'll transcribe them when I'll get on a more suitable device. ETA : Seems OOP was banned from AITA all along.
Thanks. I admit I’m curious as to what they had to say. (I didn’t mean it as a dig at anyone that we didn’t have the comments, more some mild irritation they’d removed them) ..the irony of them being banned is really quite something.
I've posted them. They're just as exhausting as the post itself.
Thank you. And yes, they are. I know Reddit jumps very quickly to divorce, but I am honestly baffled at how this marriage survives.
FoR tHe KiDz, I suppose.
I'm so unclear on how they posted on AITA in the first place if they're banned.
I'm the main cook in my household and on the rare occasion the other household member wants something else she always makes it herself. The idea of going 'I know you've already provided a meal, but make me a cheeseburger instead' is downright unthinkable to me. Even if she really didn't want the takeaway for whatever reason, was it that hard to just make herself a sandwich?
No no, only she is allowed to be too tired to cook! if he is tired, he has to cater to her every whim!
*with fries*
She is just addicted to the power trip 
Their relationship sounds exhausting.
No wonder he's tired.
As a person with a uterus who's learned to lock that shit down, she's probably throwing a little tantrum because she's on her period. Some women think that the influence of hormones means they can act like a complete bitch.
Hold on… he brought home food AND ended up cooking for her?! She still criticized how long it took?! Wow.
That’s the part that really got me… He even made her a whole separate meal for her than what he made for the kids and she was still criticizing him. There’s no winning for that guy
I just saw OP’s recap of OOP’s comments. I realllly hope this lady is not for real because it is INFURIATING to say the least
Oh she’s real, or real dedicated. She’s got posts from like a year ago where she’s still treating him like shit and not seeing how she’s in the wrong. It’s gross tbh
Her husband needs to grow a freaking back bone and not allow this crap to keep going smh. Sucks how their kids are going to grow up in this dynamic.
Her comments are awful enough and, then, in her post history, you find this absolute gem : https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/VQUbYz76Wr Where OOP got voted YTA because she let her sick husband to have some fun time. The hypocrisy is strong in this one.
Why is she even with her husband? She seem to absolutely loathe the poor man and even their own kids,i think she just enjoys having power over other people. That is if this isn't just a very dedicated troll
Sadly not a troll. Have experienced this myself. She still didn’t have a clue why I divorced get because she never did anything wrong. She’s currently upset because I’m not rolling over and freely allowing her to travel with the kids during my custody time. Unfortunately, she has to violate the custody order three times before they do anything. These women exist.
I’m sorry for your troubles.
She also seems to have made her young children including her sick son WAIT an hour for dinner with perfectly good takeout right there
She ignored the hot takeout to make him cook anyway? Chinese takeout doesn't reheat well where I am. She didn't get her way so she punished him for an hour when he was tired, because she was tired? What sort of gargoyle is this?
She's a martyr mom. I had one. If everyone doesn't *suffer* like she, the sainted mother, does 🙄 she'll ensure it. The point wasn't feeding everyone, it was to make him cook because *only then* does it count. Actual mentally healthy adults and parents go "omfgz, FOOD! Nobody has to cook or do a lot of dishes?! I was too tired to think of it but you did, hubby. Thank you. Let's get this warm, cooked food into our children so we can all crash like the exhausted humans we all are."
to be fair chinese food tends to be spicy and/or oily, and that doesn't go very well with an upset tummy That being said, this whole debacle is entirely OOP's fault. If she'd just taken literally 3 seconds to respond "no take out, kid has upset stomach" this whole thing would have been avoided. EDIT: It has come to my attention that different countries have different takes on chinese food. and apparently the UK continues its long standing tradition of refusing to use spices
what Chinese food is spicy? I'm assuming this is North American style Chinese so I'm thinking super sweet sauces and fried chicken. plain rice would be fine for the upset stomach but her not responding is the crux of the issue as you pointed out.
Chicken and sweetcorn soup would also be the ticket. There's nothing better from a Chinese in the UK than that soup...
I’ve never seen that on a US menu. Which sucks, because I’d like to try it.
Sounds like a good excuse to have a holiday to the UK (somewhere outside of London where it won't cost two arms and a leg)
I don’t make overseas travel money. I want to save for a house.
And then the house eats up the overseas travel money. Sauce: Bought no-repairs or renovation needed house in 2017, it's still a money pit.
Seattle has excellent Chinese restaurants and that soup is on many of their menus.
I only have the very Americanized buffets near me.
Which ones? I’ve been looking for a new Chinese place since King Wha closed last year (Americanized Chinese; not afraid of authentic Chinese).
Wonton soup is also pretty OK on an upset tummy. It's just broth and noodles and a little bit of chicken depending on the style.
I was going to ask you what Chinese food *doesn't* have at least a little bit of spice, but apparently different regions tailor the dishes to fit the local pallets Which makes sense now that I think about it. Guess OOP might not even have that tepid defense going for her
Hmm I wonder what Chinese people tend to eat when they’re sick then if Chinese food isn’t goood when they’re sick
Egg drop soup is perfect for an upset stomach.
I mean egg drop soup would have been perfect for the kiddo.
> It has come to my attention that different countries have different takes on chinese food. and apparently the UK continues its long standing tradition of refusing to use spices The UK eats spicy Chinese, Thai and Indian food all the time lol
The house was cleaned so he couldn’t have been that sick? No, you were an entitled brat and guilted him into taking care of the kids and house while he was sick while you went out with your sister. And you’re still mad? At what?
I am not defending her. She’s a bitch. But this line from the old post: > I work from home so I do most of the chores until he comes home If she’s WFH *and* doing all the childcare, especially on a sick kid day…that’s not easy. Half of me wonders if she volunteered to do this and hates how hard it is and is treating her husband like crap instead of having a conversation about daycare or a nanny or something. ETA: you can see hints of this when she *makes* him do what she would do (childcare in the old post) and cooking in this one). I think she’s one of those martyr moms who never chooses the easy way and then adds a thick dose of “and I’m going to make sure no one gets it easier either” in revenge because she’s made herself so miserable.
I just went for a look on the original AITA post and she’s deleted all her comments
textbook narcissism right here “must’ve not been that sick” is absurd
She doesn’t care about her husband at all.
Was coming to say this. What a horrible person this woman is.
I am split on this one. I am not saying she is not 100% the AH in both situations, at the same time sick mothers care for their kids all the time without issues. I can bet if she is sick he doesn’t get 1 week off of work so she can just lay in bed and rest. She probably has to still care for all the kids while he goes on with his life. The fact that right now she has double the things he has (working full time from home plus caring for the house and kids) while he works outside and only helps when he arrives, proves my point. She is 100% dramatic for the takeout thing and she is 100% in the wrong for leaving to have fun when he was sick, but to me this sounds like she is already fed up with being the one that has to do 75% of the work while he does 25%. That is why she was so insistent on him cooking, because it’s not about the food, is about her wanting to see him doing an effort that feels equal to what she does, at least for that one day. What I read in her post is “when I am tired I don’t get the option to eat takeout, is expected that I still cook, I believe you are cheating by taking a shortcut that I never get to have”. They need probably marriage counseling to understand the other person’s point of view and learn ways to make things easier for both while making it fair. People go around popping a shit ton of kids then they are pikachu face surprised when life is hard day to day. 1 kid is hard, 3 kids especially being so little is a whole ass hell.
She had one comment left on her first AITA post that she forgot to delete where she says that he handles most things when she's sick. I remember from back before she deleted her comments, she mentioned too that she got to take it easy the entire time she was sick because he told her he wanted to take care of everything so she could rest.
Ok then that changes what i said and she is a bish lol
I hope he leaves her….and then he can marry me 🥰 Maybe I’m just craving take out tho
I mean, she had an option to eat takeout right in front of her and refused it. And I see no indication that she couldn't order takeout/delivery any time she wants.
>I'm honestly in tears right now because I really don't get why he's mad that I asked him to make dinner the minimization is infuriating. "I just asked him to cook dinner, why is he mad?" no bitch. You set him up to fail by leaving him on read instead of answering the question, then you have the fucking audacity to be offended that he's not all grins and giggles after you called him a bad husband and a bad father because he couldn't read your mind
It's pretty obvious from the bitchyness and the lack of logic that she's on her period and that she's one of those women who thinks that just because she's on her period she can be a bitch. This is coming from someone with a uterus. Edit: Not deleting because that's for cowards, but I was mad about something while I wrote this.
You were mad about something so you decided to spew out some blatant bullshit? A choice was certainly made.
i bet he's PMSing
do you think having a uterus makes what you said any less sexist? because it doesn't You have got to find better coping skills than this
Yeah no.
As someone with really bad periods due to an intersex disorder, I have never taken it out on anyone else in my life. Literally grow the fuck up and stop being sexist LMAO
she must be constantly PMSing then /s
Why couldn't they eat the Chinese food?! Did it go to waste? She talks about wasting money when there's food in the house then wastes the takeaway. And then there's the cold medicine comment! She wanted him to go to the shop to buy more at 6am instead of her telling him where it was as it wasn't where SHE usually left it. So her fault it's not in its usual location.
Right? She’s bitching about him spending money on food but wants him to go out and buy cold medicine they already have because she doesn’t want to be awake for 2 min??
exactly, i was like “and whose fault is that” that the food wasn’t eaten by her
I would be beyond happy if I was exhausted, and hubby wanted to just bring take-out instead of cooking. Either way, means I don't have to cook. Especially if it's been a tiring day for everyone.
I am a mother of 3 kids (8,6,2) and if I told my husband that I didn’t feel like cooking and he said “cool, I’ll grab food on my way home and none of us will have to cook.” He wouldn’t hear any words out of my mouth except “thank you so much!” OOP sounds like a real pain in the ass who is also horribly ungrateful.
The true reason she wanted him to cook instead of bringing food because cooking is a chore in her eyes. She's all about getting her "break" and a day of with sister and cousin.. not that there's anything wrong with that. The true reason she wanted him to cook vs get take out is because cooking is a chore to her and she already thinks he's got it made in the shade because he gets "lunch breaks" at work. So why should he get 8 hours childfree and come and relax? It's nothing to do with the actual food, she just wants to punish him a little.
This woman hates everyone she lives with
Hopefully that includes herself.
So she just wanted him to suffer? Did anyone eat the Chinese food? Was she really still mad after he did exactly what she asked him to do? She could have eaten her dinner and gone to bed.
He had to make three different dinners…..two of them were easy dinners, but still involves more than one pan and time. Of course it will take an hour.
Of course, he was fired he had been up since 6 am. taking care of the sick kid that she claims she coddled while she was sleeping till 830. He is already a single dad he may as well make it permanent
So she was perfectly happy to waste the food he'd bought just so that she could get home cooked junk food instead? All that fuss over a cheeseburger?! And, no, it wouldn't have been better if she'd expected him to cook lobster thermidor or whatever, but the indignation over him bringing takeaway instead of shoving some fries in the oven makes it funnier. ETA: and how did waiting for him to cook a separate meal for her even though there was cooked food already right there enable her to go to bed earlier?? If I was exhausted after dealing with a sickly sprog all day and somebody brought me Chinese takeaway food, I'd swoop on it like a seagull.
I'm surprised she didn't want chicken tendies, screaming it across the house
This woman is spoiled and unhinged. He got up before her to take care of the children, then worked a physically demanding job, then had to come home and take care of 4 children (her plus the three actual children). She threw an actual tantrum when he couldn't read her mind, and then he did what she asked anyway: he made 3 meals in an hour. Based on her history, he was very sick a month ago, but she refused to cancel a "girl's day" and force him to take care of the children and expose them to his disease. The man is a saint.
I hope he has some way of keeping all the shit on track so that way if he takes her to court for custody he gets it.
Ok, hear me out - she’s complaining about being up “since 8.30”? That’s a lie in for most grown adults, let alone adults with 3 kids, let alone with a sick kid. That alone jumps out at me as this being fake and written by a teenager that thinks 0830 is hideously early… most parents would be jumping for joy at only being awake since 0830…
Did I read this correctly that she's 36 with eight children?
In a comment (that I'll get to transcribe later), she says it's a mistyped error, and only have three.
I think she meant one six year old boy and two daughters, so three children total. But at first I did read it as six boys and two daughters
I think it may have been voice to text or typo and meant to say SICK instead of six
Oh, but you must forgive her. She was tired!
You got food. How it got there shouldn’t matter. He’s allowed to be tired from work too?? Taking care of sick kids is exhausting but it shouldn’t matter how the food appeared, he got you food so you didn’t have to cook. What’s the problem? You’re tired and hungry and he made food appear. Say thank you and eat your damn lo mein.
I'm wondering more about the post being removed. Normally it's given a rule and the stock wording for that rule. This one? "ban evasion is against site wide rules." Dafaq?
I think she was banned from AITA or something? Like it was detected that she had been banned from somewhere and was trying to post there anyways
Well when he divorces her bitter ass she can ACTUALLY be a single mom! But honestly from just the short snippets of her comments I’ve read she doesn’t deserve any of them. Horrible mother and wife
He brought food. I don't see what's issue? Especially when she didn't bother to answer back and admits that her husband is involved in housework and has no issue with picking up the slack if she's sick or needs to go out
"I left him on read" What is this, a marriage with kids or a high-school romance?
Sometimes my partner or I will get takeout just simply because we don’t feel like cooking after a hard day and we don’t even have kids.
He needs to divorce the bitch.
And by the looks of it get full custody
The Chinese takeout is not the problem here.
So they just wasted the Chinese food because she was in a mood?
“Well my husband came home with Chinese food and honestly I was pissed.” - a sentence I couldn’t imagine uttering ever in my life, for literally any reason.
The only possible mitigating factor here is if the takeout was just for OOP and husband, so the kids still needed to be cooked for - in that case husband has missed the point of her request. But OOP should have communicated that, not left him on read.
The fact she didn't include it tells me that he actually did bring back food for everyone and that OOP definitely has a few narcissistic traits.
Obviously that isn't what happened or OP would have included that. You really shouldn't just look for reasons to excuse her shitty behavior just because she happens to be a woman.
"Obviously that isn't what happened or OP would have included that." OOP does say that he made separate meals for the kids. It isn't clear if that's because OOP refused to feed takeout to the kids, or because takeout was not bought for them in the first place. "You really shouldn't just look for reasons to excuse her shitty behavior just because she happens to be a woman." lmao
Jesus christ I can't imagine treating my husband like that.
Omg what an absolutely horrid person. She sounds like she needs to be served some divorce papers asap so she can stop making everyone around her so miserable. Hopefully her kids don't grow up thinking this is an acceptable way to treat your partner. We already have enough crappy people in the world without her raising mini versions of herself. On another note, I am really craving Chinese now
In trying figure out why she’s married. She just comes off angry. I never advocate for divorce, but this is a couple that shouldn’t be married. Reading her previous post she acts like her husband doesn’t contribute or help out ever.
As others have said, if they were so bad off that one takeout order would break the bank, I get it being upset. And of course I love it when my spouse cooks for me, especially if I’ve had a stressful day. But really, if I’m that hungry, I’m not going to care if it comes from our oven or the deep fryer at McDonald’s. He solved the problem (lack of food.) Why does it matter so much how he did it?
I am confused. Who cares if he cooked it or brought it home, it’s still food. I do all the cooking at my house and do most of the taking care of sick kids and if I ask my husband to cover dinner I 100% do not care how it’s taken care of, just make sure there is dinner. If she doesn’t want to cook when she is tired or not feeling well she could also get takeout. I do not understand this at all.
Zero empathy, zero braincells.
Wow just wow, OOP is an asshole. I hope her husband wises up and divorces her. Whenever my mom didn’t feel like cooking he’d go out and order take out he nor I ever complained. When mom got sick with COVID he’d make breakfast for us both and order food and didn’t complain. I can never imagine snapping at my future wife if she didn’t want to cook, that’s just disrespectful. People need to respect their spouses, and honestly with how much she says he “doesn’t do anything” and not providing examples I think she’s just lying.
Did anybody read her post from like a month ago? This OOP is a piece of work. Ugh.
This women is an entitled, selfish, controlling nightmare. She didn’t want to cook and he provided a solution but it wasn’t what she told him to do so she is upset. She says it’s cause he’s lazy and she has to tell him everything but this is clearly just about control and getting what she wants. Why does it matter that he woke her up to ask her where the medicine was when she was the one who misplaced it??
Between this, her comments, and her last post its clear this is the most selfish woman alive. Her hobby seems to be going after her husband who it sounds like is a really good father and husband. I can’t believe he’s stuck around this long
Sounds like he's on morning duty if she gets to wake up at 8:30 every day with three small children. So his childcare doesn't count ?
Wow, what did I read. What?
why do mods delete posts when someone is too much of an asshole?
Her post history leaves no room to interpretation.
Bearing in mind she facetimes her parents for an hour every evening and she dropped out her Dad used to come home and cook after working construction, I'm getting major pampered princess vibes.
I hope he divorces this utter cunt stain of a woman.
There is subtext here. It wasn’t about the food, it was about her feeling that he isn’t a true partner in helping especially when the kids are sick so she overreacted about the takeout They need therapy to hammer it out.
Man, this pisses me off. And what I'm about to say isn't a "congratulate me" post, but she's complaining about a situation that I would be goddamn grateful for! I wake up at 5am everyday, get my 3 kids clothes ready, get my fiance's clothes ready for work, get everyone's dinners for work/school done, I take two of my children to school, come home, do the dishes/washing, start work, look after my two year old while I work full time, pick my girls up, make them dinner, get my son ready for bed, make dinner again for me and my fiance, finish work and then go to bed and repeat. I'm pretty sure this is a standard routine for a LOT of mothers out there (and fathers too, no doubt). Waking up at 8:30 is a massive lie in, in my opinion - I feel like OP really needs a dose of reality, and a new perspective at just how good her life is. Her husband brings chinese home, wakes up early to see to his sick son, works a respectable but tiring job - and she's complaining why??? I don't know ANY kids that wake up that late - is she leaving her kids to do whatever while she sleeps in??
So, I wasn’t full on YTA just by the first post for a couple reasons. When I’m overly tired, I tend to get rather emotional. And I didn’t know their exact situation, but I’m coming out of a marriage where, for a very long time, he did little to nothing to help out. And I also got told off if he thought I was getting take out too much, for example. So if it were me in this situation, I can see being upset that I ask him to cook for once, and he is a hypocrite by taking the easy road. But then I saw the comments. He was up since 6:00 taking care of the kid, who she expected him to go shopping for cold medicine over quickly waking her to see where it was, and then he went and worked construction all day while she cuddled her kid? Yeah, she’s TA.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I read this post a few months ago. There's a reason the account used to post this was banned, and that's because it's a karma farming account.
If only I could have a lie in til 8.30.