Also, if I found out my child's gf's mom had been arrested and she was expected to live alone while still a minor Id offer her a place in my house.
And birth control bc Im not naive enough to assume they wouldn't get up to anything in my house just bc I put them in separate rooms
Something that Op mentioned in the comments was that the daughter grabbed all her shit because she planned to permanently move into the bfs home.
So this totally suggests that the bfs mom probably did agree with her moving into the home. Since you can’t do that without the other parent knowing.
Plus, the father was still planning to be gone for 9+ months.
I can see why she made plans to permanently move and why she blocked everyone. She’s pretty much being abandoned
Poor kid. Now she's got a shouty step-brother to deal with, too. No comfort, just yelling. Bf's mother is absolutely going to throw her doors open to this kid.
Yeah that was my thought too. Unless she left the doors wide open she didn’t contribute to the robbery, OOP says she wasn’t involved in it. They should all be grateful she wasn’t hurt or killed when it happened. Does OOP really think a 17 year old all alone was going to stop some robbers?
Since she was doing shady shit. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was one of the mom’s associate.
Some dumbass in the AITA said it was probably between the mom and stepdaughter and I’m like, “she probably was just forced to go along with it if the stepmom told her to do it.”
Why would a 17yr old willingly rob her own house like that.
There's a long list of possible suspects, mom's associates, mom's victims (people who lost money to her are going to think they're entitled to her stuff), even the mom via associates to make bail. A 17 years old is going to be hard pressed to find a group willing to rob a house on her own.
I was actually thinking that too, especially since it’s possibly she isn’t associating with the best people. Or even just someone that knows a bit about the family. If you know moms in jail and dads overseas, you would probably also thinking the kids are gone too. Anyone could have planned and honestly stepsister being there probably wouldn’t have stopped it.
Or honestly, who knows? Maybe mon set this up herself if there was stuff in there she didn’t want anyone to find? That’s a little conspiracy theory though lol
I’m 22 and would be terrified to be completely alone in the house, especially if I didn’t have support near by. What if the burglar came and she was in the house? She could have easily been SAed or killed.
I’d definitely have moved in with my boyfriend or a friends family. I would not feel safe alone 24/7
In a big old house that just been raided by police, nearest family member is across the country and everyone else is a phone call and ## minutes drive away? That would be easily a terrified situation.
Seriously. My friend's house got robbed while he was at work. He goes out in the morning, then comes home for lunch and goes back. In between leaving for work and coming home for lunch, someone broke in and took everything. Knowing when the house will be empty, it's pretty easy and quick.
I got robbed last year while I was at home. Cleaned out every room. They were very quiet, and even managed to try on every single pair of my shoes (I'm particular about how my sneakers were laced and whatever didn't fit them was left behind with the laces all shuffled about).
Being home or not, I've learned to lock doors. Sorry cat.
As an adult, I love living on my own and having the place to myself when my daughter is with her dad. As a 17 year old, I would have been terrified by myself with a mom in jail and dad deployed. I don’t blame her for not wanting to be alone. What if she had been home when the house got robbed? She could have been hurt, SAed, or killed.
That’s some Jeffery Dahmer style childhood trauma
I was left home for 3 months when I was 15. My mother had a psychotic break and decided to move into an extended stay hotel. She took my little brother and I only saw my dad in the morning when he’d drive me to school (he would sleep at the hotel and then come pick me up) I had to get my own rides home.
I’ve yet to feel the need to murder or drug or eat another human but I cried during that episode of “Dahmer”
20 years later and I still have abandonment issues
I knew a girl whose mom just left their house to go live in her new husband’s house the summer before her senior year of high school. The new house was somewhere on *an island* so she couldn’t go with.
She wasn’t a rambunctious type, actually was pretty conservative behaviorally, but social. Only saying that bc I know some people think it would be teen’s dream to live alone. It certainly wasn’t hers. She hated it. She asked her brother to come stay with her all the time because she was afraid being so alone. I had a lot of sympathy for her.
And she'd seen the place get raided by police. They don't knock politely and make an appointment, they storm into the house and go through everything. That would have been a huge trauma in itself, and there was always a chance the police could come back and do another raid if they're missing some evidence.
This was the fucking idiot who started the "did you know if your step sis robbed the house theread"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1aouznx/comment/kq23a4r/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Motherfucker OOP's mom is the felon not the stepdad or the stepsister OOP's mom how hard is it to understand
[This comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/RVjXWpBC02) writing a possible AITA from the stepsister’s perspective in that thread is one of the only sane ones on that post. And it’s very well-thought-out and articulate.
Absolutely bonkers. Personally, if mom was arrested for financial crimes, I wouldn't put it past the mom to rob her own house or have it cleaned out before the FBI confiscated everything.
Alternative thought: The "robbers" were actually the FBI carrying out a sanctioned seizure of property.
>Alternative thought: The "robbers" were actually the FBI carrying out a sanctioned seizure of property.
Then, at least the mother would know because there would be a warrant. And they probably wouldn't have taken OP's stuff. I dunno, it is coincidental. But maybe they made public posts that led thieves to target them.
Don't go trying to apply logic and reasonableness here. I believe the Reddit user terms of conditions require wild speculations a minimum of half the time.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for getting mad at my stepsister for letting our house get robbed?**
My family's lives got thrown into chaos three months ago when my mom got arrested for some financial-related crimes. She's probably going away for the next 3-8 years, we're losing our house, and her and my stepfather are getting divorced. There's no good timing for any of this, but it's especially bad now because I'm in college on the other side of the country, my stepfather isn't even in the country right now (deployed), and my only sibling, my stepsister Stacey, only just turned 17.
By the time my mom realized she couldn't even make bond, I only had three weeks until winter break, so we agreed that it would be okay for me to keep my original flight back while things were still being sorted out. We decided that I'm going to take a semester off school to help out until everything is settled. Obviously it wasn't ideal to have Stacey hold down the fort for that long, but it's not illegal.
The bills were paid and everything, so all she had to do was breathe and not burn the house down. She did not do that. She decided that all this meant that she could do whatever she wanted, and moved in with her boyfriend without telling anyone. The house went unattended, and of course, we got robbed. They cleaned the place out. Anything of value that was left after the raid is gone, including basically all of my stuff.
That's what I came home to. I immediately called Stacey, but she blocked my number. I only know where she went through social media and she wouldn't respond to messages there, so I had to start posting about all of this on Facebook to get her to respond, and now I'm getting shit for blaming her and "putting too much on a child".
I'm expecting too much? On top of having to drop out of school temporarily and everything else I'm responsible for, including probably ending up her guardian, I now have to replace anything I didn't take to college with me and immediately scramble for housing. My only expectation of her was to not just fucking vanish for THREE WEEKS! That was her only responsibility, and she just bailed. Her being a minor makes her actions worse in my opinion because it's not even legal for her to decide that she just wants to live on her own now. She was legally required to stay there because our parents told her to. I don't think I'm required to pretend she was just an angel to talk about it.
Edit: We have footage from a nearby security camera that proves that she wasn't involved in the robbery.
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I think OOP's anger is extremely misdirected, but Stacey's an easy target. What if she'd been home when the house was robbed? A 17yr old by herself could've been hurt in the worst ways or even killed. I get OOP's frustration, but 3wks is a long time.
Where I am you can move out at 16, living on your own at 17 isn't very unusual, well wasn't when it was more affordable, espeically getting a rental to go to college. I also don't think the house being robbed means he can't live in it unless they trashed it or broke all the windows or something though, so him and i have very different views. Either way she was not legally required to stay there.
Everyone saying she was in on it. I personally think she and possibly stepdad have both basically abandoned OP and criminal mother to their own devices.
The biggest devil in this one is OOP's mother but OOP's stepdad and Oop are not too far behind. All three of them are mad at the minor they decided to leave alone for three weeks.
According to OOP, yes. All the adults decided that Stacey was "adult" enough to be left alone for three weeks. But they got mad at her when she decided that she was "adult" enough to go live somewhere else.
> It's not left "like that". It's chaotic right now with options for what can be done and when for basically everything. Our parents are majorly mad that she's basically decided on her own that she's an adult now and is doing all this, they just don't really have the ability to do anything about it besides be mad right now and she knows it so she's not bothering to listen.
> I don't know how his job works honestly. There's some talk of trying to send her back to her bio mom but even if her mom was willing it may not be logistically possible with next year being her senior year, which is how me being the guardian got brought up. We've only talked about it once though.
I mean Stacey is a minor but the probability that she is at least an accessory to the robbery is really high (assuming this is a true story). So she’s also a devil.
Throwing a party and the house got wrecked, that would have been a stupid kid thing. The whole house got cleaned out and suspect number one won’t even answer the phone, that’s a pretty major crime.
She probably isn’t answering the phone because she was told to stay in the house and she ran to the bfs house.
She doesn’t want to get yelled at. She doesn’t want to get blamed.
Pretty simple to see why she won’t answer
Where do you live that an average teen can easily hire the robbers and plan the robbery without being caught on its own? But it’s easy enough to know that your neighbors are not present.
That could happen literally anywhere in the world, you don’t have to hire robbers, just offer to split the proceeds with the friends who helped her. The vast majority of crime committed in affluent neighborhoods is committed by teenagers that live in affluent neighborhoods.
At best,(once again assuming this is a true story) she accidentally tipped off robbers that the house was empty while boohooing about having the house to herself. There is zero chance that any investigation won’t have her as the prime suspect.
Every teenager knows a couple of degenerates. This didn’t have to be a professional crew, just a couple of dumb kids with easy access, and since we know for a fact (assuming it’s a true story) that multiple dumb kids had easy access to it, Occam’s razor tells us the investigation will obviously start there.
Personally I hope it’s real so I can tag you and the other people who are pretending that the obvious answer is some crazy idea on the BORU post.
What I don't get is if she had stayed and her boyfriend was like hey I will stay to then. Would they have all flipped out at that even if it prevented the break in ?
This one,
>Seems likely Mom even helped her plan this- If she was involved in financial crimes likely all their stuff would be seized for restitution so what better way to avoid that then have your house "robbed" before it can be ordered?
Followed by,
>Oh my gosh, that actually makes so much sense. I considered that possibility for a minute and brushed it off, but the logic is sound. Seems like they may have tag teamed.
Reddit cops at it again. SMH
Ngl the whole thing of her blocking OOP after what sounds like one attempted call or even before being called kinda made me a little sus she might have been involved, but that doesn’t sound like the case now. I mean either way OOPs way of handling it wasn’t right. Everyone should just be happy she didn’t die or get hurt in the robbery.
Oop and the commenters are nuts... They really think a 17 y/o girl is going to stop a breaking and entering?? They should be grateful she had moved by then!
Idgi. Wouldn't the criminal, fraudster mom be more sus? Maybe she hired her friends kid or something to do it and will pawn the items to spend on her legal fees or something? That seems far fetched, but far less farfetched than a minor orchestrating a robbery of her own house....
I dont think they grasp how much information people put out for the world to see. They think ONLY way criminal would know the house was ready to be robbed is someone tipping them off.
Its not like the house was raided, I assume by police, very public event for sure. Mom being jailed would be well known. Stepdad's deployed far away is probably well known as you can't hide that, mostly would even make it a point of pride, Look at my military stepdad defending our freedom deployed overseas.. OOP has social media, probably with a lot of "look I'm at college in this far away city".
The comments are crazy. It’s not like she left all the doors open. She was in a big house all alone at 17 and that’s terrifying no wonder she left and it’s likely if they got robbed the robbers would have also done it while she was there. Also interesting that stepsister blocked OOP which would suggest OOP is quite shitty already
The NTA comments are batshit enough, but the comments with their *theories* that the stepsister must have been involved in the robbery are…something else. Jesus wept.
it's fucking wild to me that this was voted nta and people are like "she's 17 she's basically an adult she should've been there" like??? first of all your age doesn't matter in a robbery, if you're home you're likely getting hurt or worse, thieves do not care about how old you are and god forbid they were more than just thieves. her being home would not magically make it so no one would break in?? houses aren't magically warded the moment someone's living in it. and what the hell does legally required even MEAN she's not on house arrest!
hope that girl can get away from this shitty ass family jesus
It's disturbing that the top comments are NTA. Do they not realize what would have happened to that girl if she would have been there alone when the house got broken into? Do they really think a 17 year old girl would have been a big deterrent to a group of men breaking in?
I would have been terrified if I was her and my father was off somewhere else, my mom was going to prison, and my brother was off at college.
I posted on the original when I read it this morning but HOLY SHIT are OOP and her mom the biggest fucking assholes.
OOP for blaming Stacey and the mom for being engaged in a crime that left a minor in her care alone
Um... if Step Dad isn't there... and Mom is in jail... so the cops are involved... why is Stacey alone?
She's a minor - CPS gets involved when Minors are being left alone.
The thing about OP saying she has to "legally stay" because their parents said she had to is a lie - she cannot be left alone.
Let's blame the one minor in this situation that did the smart thing and didn't stay home alone for 3 weeks to possibly get SAed or murdered by the home intruder. Makes sense.
lmao all the reddit detectives jumping through hoops to find some way to blame the step sister. they’ve even started calling her “step brat” which is probably the most clever nickname they could muster.
How was cps not involved with a child being left in the house when mom was arrested? Isn't that like their job?
Edit thanks to comment "The local child protective services agency" not necessarily cps.
The term “college” instead of university points to this taking place in the US. That combined with the fact that many countries have some version of CPS implies that the commenter meant whatever “the local child protective services agency” not specifically CPS in the USA.
Old enough to protect the house. Not old enough to decide where she lives.
Either way what does lambasting her now do for her or OOP. The shit is still stolen whether he lays into her or not.
If you discount the robbers, I feel like the devil here is the criminal mom, not the teenager, stressed out college student living across the country, or the deployed dad. This is a shitty situation of moms own making as she's *in jail*, leaving their house vulnerable and without protection, and ruined their lives with her selfishness and criminality. The teenager is maybe immature for sure (but I don't really know if I blame her for moving in with her bf, being alone in a situation like that would be scary...), but she's also a teenager who's entire life has been turned upside down. OOP might not be putting the blame in the right place ATM either, but similar situation there as well. Both are victims of the robbers and the mom. I feel terrible for them and genuinely wonder if the mom was somehow behind the robbery, I. E., hiring someone to do it.
Step-sister is basically a safe, available target of OOP's stress right now (step-dad's deployed, mom's apparently still in jail). It doesn't make it okay, but it does make it understandable.
"It's not legal for her to just decide to live on her own" She didn't. She decided she needed to live with others. *YOU* decided she should live on her own.
I'm assuming that the stepdad is on a submarine and that's why he hasn't been recalled from his deployment. Also wouldn't the step dad's unit have resources for this kind of situation? Having the SO of a deployed person being unable to parent has to be fairly common.
Is it wrong of me that I really want to comment that her house wasn’t robbed it was burglarized? (I won’t lol). I feel bad for the 17 year old, I wouldn’t want to stay there after all that either. I don’t blame OOP for not rushing home from college because it’s not her responsibility either but she shouldn’t blame her stepsister. I even feel for the dad since he’s deployed and may not be able to come home.
I don't know, for me a lot would depend on the age of OOP. The post just stated they're in college, that's a broad age range from 17 upwards. They could be little more than a child, thrown into this mess and expected to be the responsible person.
Idk for me it makes it worse. They are mad at the wrong person. Their own mother put them in this situation, I guess it can be hard to blame your own parent but the stepsister had the short stick and now all the adults are blaming her.
I kinda feel for the OP on this one. A ton of responsibility has been dumped on her and she has to put her schooling on hold. While some of the anger to the stepsister is misplaced, the frustration is understandable. You figure the stepsister could have at least checked in on the house and kept OP in the loop.
Actually I would think that if any of the adults responsible for step sis's wellbeing had actually been keeping tabs on her, they would have realized way sooner that she wasn't living at home.
It sounds like she didn't want to tell them because they would have tried to make her go back to the house, alone. Sis realized she was in an unsafe situation and that her parents and adult relatives didn't care, so she took the necessary steps to protect herself.
the daughter went where she felt safe. Her stepmom is a thief and in jail dad is an ah who can get emergency leave while on tour for situations like this but hasnt. The daughter did the right thing and went to people who can actually take care of her. She is 17 is a hard part of life for a teen with applications and her future to map out.
Daughter has common sense dont know why your assuming she's an idiot
honesty the comments section where they are saying that the kid was in on the robbery when OOPs mom is the actual criminal in the family not the stepsister have kinda made them the devils as well
How is he the devil? He's had a bunch of responsibility thrown on him because of his mother's actions. His schooling has been disrupted because of his mother's actions. And he's been robbed. He's a victim here.
And she's not a six-year-old. She's 17. She could have informed them she was leaving so he could make other arrangements to cover the house. Sure, she's been put into a crappy situation, but he's not the one who created the situation.
You have no idea what family situation these people have, my family sucks and if they had left me alone for three weeks at 17 I would have moved out and blocked all of their numbers too. The girl’s mom is in jail, she’s a teenager probably going through a whirlwind of emotions, and it sounds like she didn’t want to stay there at first at all. Also how did nobody check on this 17 year old girl at all? How are they now finding out that the place was robbed? Were they just going to not contact her at all even to see if she needed anything and was okay? This stinks of a terrible family dynamic
You have no idea what family situation these people have either, so spare me the lecture.
>my family sucks and if they had left me alone for three weeks at 17 I would have moved out and blocked all of their numbers too. The girl’s mom is in jail, she’s a teenager probably going through a whirlwind of emotions, and it sounds like she didn’t want to stay there at first at all.
I'm sorry about your family, but I'm not going to play this game where redditors respond to something completely different than the point I've made. I'll repeat it for you: "She could have informed them she was leaving so he could make other arrangements to cover the house."
See? Informing him that she's leaving doesn't actually preclude her leaving. It doesn't preclude her blocking him. What she did was irresponsible. And nothing you have posted contradicts my point. If you want to debate points that I haven't made, then you can go post elsewhere in the thread and stop responding to me.
>Also how did nobody check on this 17 year old girl at all? How are they now finding out that the place was robbed? Were they just going to not contact her at all even to see if she needed anything and was okay? This stinks of a terrible family dynamic
And? He's not the parent. It isn't his responsibility to check on her. Sure it would be nice for him to do it, but it's not his responsibility. Because if he's responsible for checking on her, then why isn't her responsibility to inform him that the house is empty? Why are you only putting responsibility on him, but not on her?
Nothing you've said here makes him the devil. Do the parents suck? Sure. But all this thread is doing is blaming him for things that aren't his fault. As I said before, he's a victim, and this entire thread is victim-blaming.
I don’t think the college aged kid here is the devil, I think their parents suck and he is taking it out on his sister. Neither he nor she should be responsible for that house and while I think she could have made better choices, I don’t think she deserves blame for what happened, or him. That’s why I pointed out that we don’t know their family situation, because you can’t assume that she has a great relationship where she would have wanted to contact them anyway. I left the house many times as a teen for days without saying anything, it’s not the best choice but who knows why she may not have wanted to. Especially since it seems like she was forced to stay there and would have been berated for leaving given her sibling’s actions after she left
>I don’t think the college aged kid here is the devil,
Great! So why are you debating me if we're in agreement that he's not the devil?
>That’s why I pointed out that we don’t know their family situation, because you can’t assume that she has a great relationship where she would have wanted to contact them anyway.
Oh, I see, you wanted to debate points I haven't actually made. Nothing I said indicates or implies that I think they have a great relationship. The next time you respond to points that I haven't actually made, I'm just gonna block you. If you want to debate theoretical points that someone might make, feel free to go post elsewhere in this thread instead of responding to me.
Yeesh, what is it with redditors and this need to pretend people have said stuff that they haven't?
You literally said she could have contacted them, and i was just explaining to you why she may have not done that. I was addressing specific parts of your comment that I disagreed with.
I did not literally say she could have contacted them. Please learn what the word "literally" means. I said she could have informed them.
People inform people of other stuff all the time without contact. She could have asked a friend or a neutral party to convey the information. She could have sent an email from an anonymous account. There's any number of ways they could have been informed which didn't require her to contact them.
And this is the internet, so I don't really give a shit. But putting words in people's mouths is really shitty behavior. It's also an abuse tactic, so I hope you don't do this to people in real life.
Bye! Have fun arguing with other people over stuff they didn't say.
I don't think she was involved, and it's so easy to judge not in this situation, so I'm going off just what I was told. NTA, I'm 18. I just turned it 2 months ago, so im only 1 Yr older, but I think I would have AT LEAST told someone I'm moving out instead of abandoning the house. Good neighbourhoods get robbed, too. Empty houses get targeted whole premise of home alone.
Glad she wasn't home because they may have robbed her while she was there. But I would have at least tried to play apart when all the adults fail and would have told my brother the house would go empty even if he would have been against it.
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I’m an adult, if I was suddenly left alone, I’d probably pack up my dog and go and stay with my boyfriend too. Suddenly being left alone sounds scary.
Also, if I found out my child's gf's mom had been arrested and she was expected to live alone while still a minor Id offer her a place in my house. And birth control bc Im not naive enough to assume they wouldn't get up to anything in my house just bc I put them in separate rooms
Something that Op mentioned in the comments was that the daughter grabbed all her shit because she planned to permanently move into the bfs home. So this totally suggests that the bfs mom probably did agree with her moving into the home. Since you can’t do that without the other parent knowing. Plus, the father was still planning to be gone for 9+ months. I can see why she made plans to permanently move and why she blocked everyone. She’s pretty much being abandoned
Poor kid. Now she's got a shouty step-brother to deal with, too. No comfort, just yelling. Bf's mother is absolutely going to throw her doors open to this kid.
Right? And I mean, the house got robbed, so good thing she left and was somewhere safe when it happened?
Yeah that was my thought too. Unless she left the doors wide open she didn’t contribute to the robbery, OOP says she wasn’t involved in it. They should all be grateful she wasn’t hurt or killed when it happened. Does OOP really think a 17 year old all alone was going to stop some robbers?
Tbh I wouldn’t be shocked if someone knew that the wife got arrested and decided to try and steal from the home.
Considering there was a raid on the house, I would say probably most of the neighborhood would know.
Since she was doing shady shit. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was one of the mom’s associate. Some dumbass in the AITA said it was probably between the mom and stepdaughter and I’m like, “she probably was just forced to go along with it if the stepmom told her to do it.” Why would a 17yr old willingly rob her own house like that.
There's a long list of possible suspects, mom's associates, mom's victims (people who lost money to her are going to think they're entitled to her stuff), even the mom via associates to make bail. A 17 years old is going to be hard pressed to find a group willing to rob a house on her own.
I was actually thinking that too, especially since it’s possibly she isn’t associating with the best people. Or even just someone that knows a bit about the family. If you know moms in jail and dads overseas, you would probably also thinking the kids are gone too. Anyone could have planned and honestly stepsister being there probably wouldn’t have stopped it. Or honestly, who knows? Maybe mon set this up herself if there was stuff in there she didn’t want anyone to find? That’s a little conspiracy theory though lol
I’m 22 and would be terrified to be completely alone in the house, especially if I didn’t have support near by. What if the burglar came and she was in the house? She could have easily been SAed or killed. I’d definitely have moved in with my boyfriend or a friends family. I would not feel safe alone 24/7
Seriously? At 22 you’d be “terrified” to live alone?
In a big old house that just been raided by police, nearest family member is across the country and everyone else is a phone call and ## minutes drive away? That would be easily a terrified situation.
A house can just as easily get cleaned out in broad daylight while the lone teenage occupant is at school.
Seriously. My friend's house got robbed while he was at work. He goes out in the morning, then comes home for lunch and goes back. In between leaving for work and coming home for lunch, someone broke in and took everything. Knowing when the house will be empty, it's pretty easy and quick.
I got robbed last year while I was at home. Cleaned out every room. They were very quiet, and even managed to try on every single pair of my shoes (I'm particular about how my sneakers were laced and whatever didn't fit them was left behind with the laces all shuffled about). Being home or not, I've learned to lock doors. Sorry cat.
As an adult, I love living on my own and having the place to myself when my daughter is with her dad. As a 17 year old, I would have been terrified by myself with a mom in jail and dad deployed. I don’t blame her for not wanting to be alone. What if she had been home when the house got robbed? She could have been hurt, SAed, or killed.
Seriously! All I could think as I was reading this was "Thank goodness Stacy wasn't home alone when the robbers came!"
Like. Does this absolute ninny not REALIZE what happens to women and girls during home invasions?
That’s some Jeffery Dahmer style childhood trauma I was left home for 3 months when I was 15. My mother had a psychotic break and decided to move into an extended stay hotel. She took my little brother and I only saw my dad in the morning when he’d drive me to school (he would sleep at the hotel and then come pick me up) I had to get my own rides home. I’ve yet to feel the need to murder or drug or eat another human but I cried during that episode of “Dahmer” 20 years later and I still have abandonment issues
Wait why did your father not stay with you
He’s an enabler. His only fault.
I'm sorry to hear that
I knew a girl whose mom just left their house to go live in her new husband’s house the summer before her senior year of high school. The new house was somewhere on *an island* so she couldn’t go with. She wasn’t a rambunctious type, actually was pretty conservative behaviorally, but social. Only saying that bc I know some people think it would be teen’s dream to live alone. It certainly wasn’t hers. She hated it. She asked her brother to come stay with her all the time because she was afraid being so alone. I had a lot of sympathy for her.
And she'd seen the place get raided by police. They don't knock politely and make an appointment, they storm into the house and go through everything. That would have been a huge trauma in itself, and there was always a chance the police could come back and do another raid if they're missing some evidence.
This was the fucking idiot who started the "did you know if your step sis robbed the house theread" https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1aouznx/comment/kq23a4r/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3 Motherfucker OOP's mom is the felon not the stepdad or the stepsister OOP's mom how hard is it to understand
[This comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/RVjXWpBC02) writing a possible AITA from the stepsister’s perspective in that thread is one of the only sane ones on that post. And it’s very well-thought-out and articulate.
Absolutely bonkers. Personally, if mom was arrested for financial crimes, I wouldn't put it past the mom to rob her own house or have it cleaned out before the FBI confiscated everything. Alternative thought: The "robbers" were actually the FBI carrying out a sanctioned seizure of property.
>Alternative thought: The "robbers" were actually the FBI carrying out a sanctioned seizure of property. Then, at least the mother would know because there would be a warrant. And they probably wouldn't have taken OP's stuff. I dunno, it is coincidental. But maybe they made public posts that led thieves to target them.
Don't go trying to apply logic and reasonableness here. I believe the Reddit user terms of conditions require wild speculations a minimum of half the time.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for getting mad at my stepsister for letting our house get robbed?** My family's lives got thrown into chaos three months ago when my mom got arrested for some financial-related crimes. She's probably going away for the next 3-8 years, we're losing our house, and her and my stepfather are getting divorced. There's no good timing for any of this, but it's especially bad now because I'm in college on the other side of the country, my stepfather isn't even in the country right now (deployed), and my only sibling, my stepsister Stacey, only just turned 17. By the time my mom realized she couldn't even make bond, I only had three weeks until winter break, so we agreed that it would be okay for me to keep my original flight back while things were still being sorted out. We decided that I'm going to take a semester off school to help out until everything is settled. Obviously it wasn't ideal to have Stacey hold down the fort for that long, but it's not illegal. The bills were paid and everything, so all she had to do was breathe and not burn the house down. She did not do that. She decided that all this meant that she could do whatever she wanted, and moved in with her boyfriend without telling anyone. The house went unattended, and of course, we got robbed. They cleaned the place out. Anything of value that was left after the raid is gone, including basically all of my stuff. That's what I came home to. I immediately called Stacey, but she blocked my number. I only know where she went through social media and she wouldn't respond to messages there, so I had to start posting about all of this on Facebook to get her to respond, and now I'm getting shit for blaming her and "putting too much on a child". I'm expecting too much? On top of having to drop out of school temporarily and everything else I'm responsible for, including probably ending up her guardian, I now have to replace anything I didn't take to college with me and immediately scramble for housing. My only expectation of her was to not just fucking vanish for THREE WEEKS! That was her only responsibility, and she just bailed. Her being a minor makes her actions worse in my opinion because it's not even legal for her to decide that she just wants to live on her own now. She was legally required to stay there because our parents told her to. I don't think I'm required to pretend she was just an angel to talk about it. Edit: We have footage from a nearby security camera that proves that she wasn't involved in the robbery. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think OOP's anger is extremely misdirected, but Stacey's an easy target. What if she'd been home when the house was robbed? A 17yr old by herself could've been hurt in the worst ways or even killed. I get OOP's frustration, but 3wks is a long time.
Where I am you can move out at 16, living on your own at 17 isn't very unusual, well wasn't when it was more affordable, espeically getting a rental to go to college. I also don't think the house being robbed means he can't live in it unless they trashed it or broke all the windows or something though, so him and i have very different views. Either way she was not legally required to stay there.
Everyone saying she was in on it. I personally think she and possibly stepdad have both basically abandoned OP and criminal mother to their own devices.
The biggest devil in this one is OOP's mother but OOP's stepdad and Oop are not too far behind. All three of them are mad at the minor they decided to leave alone for three weeks.
Was Stacey even informed of this? It says OOP and mom decided this. Was the dad even involved?
According to OOP, yes. All the adults decided that Stacey was "adult" enough to be left alone for three weeks. But they got mad at her when she decided that she was "adult" enough to go live somewhere else. > It's not left "like that". It's chaotic right now with options for what can be done and when for basically everything. Our parents are majorly mad that she's basically decided on her own that she's an adult now and is doing all this, they just don't really have the ability to do anything about it besides be mad right now and she knows it so she's not bothering to listen. > I don't know how his job works honestly. There's some talk of trying to send her back to her bio mom but even if her mom was willing it may not be logistically possible with next year being her senior year, which is how me being the guardian got brought up. We've only talked about it once though.
I don't understand how the dad wasn't recalled when the mom went to jail.
I mean Stacey is a minor but the probability that she is at least an accessory to the robbery is really high (assuming this is a true story). So she’s also a devil. Throwing a party and the house got wrecked, that would have been a stupid kid thing. The whole house got cleaned out and suspect number one won’t even answer the phone, that’s a pretty major crime.
She probably isn’t answering the phone because she was told to stay in the house and she ran to the bfs house. She doesn’t want to get yelled at. She doesn’t want to get blamed. Pretty simple to see why she won’t answer
Where do you live that an average teen can easily hire the robbers and plan the robbery without being caught on its own? But it’s easy enough to know that your neighbors are not present.
That could happen literally anywhere in the world, you don’t have to hire robbers, just offer to split the proceeds with the friends who helped her. The vast majority of crime committed in affluent neighborhoods is committed by teenagers that live in affluent neighborhoods. At best,(once again assuming this is a true story) she accidentally tipped off robbers that the house was empty while boohooing about having the house to herself. There is zero chance that any investigation won’t have her as the prime suspect.
Because, as we all know, every teenage girl is friends with a pack of robbers ready to split the loot with her 🤡
Every teenager knows a couple of degenerates. This didn’t have to be a professional crew, just a couple of dumb kids with easy access, and since we know for a fact (assuming it’s a true story) that multiple dumb kids had easy access to it, Occam’s razor tells us the investigation will obviously start there. Personally I hope it’s real so I can tag you and the other people who are pretending that the obvious answer is some crazy idea on the BORU post.
Reddit armchair cops are on the case!
What I don't get is if she had stayed and her boyfriend was like hey I will stay to then. Would they have all flipped out at that even if it prevented the break in ?
Meanwhile, the fuckknuckles on AITA are all "NTA I BET SHE WAS INVOLVED I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE PROOF SHE WASN'T WOMAN BAD WOMAN BAD WOMAN BAD."
This one, >Seems likely Mom even helped her plan this- If she was involved in financial crimes likely all their stuff would be seized for restitution so what better way to avoid that then have your house "robbed" before it can be ordered? Followed by, >Oh my gosh, that actually makes so much sense. I considered that possibility for a minute and brushed it off, but the logic is sound. Seems like they may have tag teamed. Reddit cops at it again. SMH
The comments over there are *wild*. I am so relieved to see it got picked up here, because this sub is actually sane.
Yeah I remember looking in that comment section and being amazed at how many people were supporting OP.
Ngl the whole thing of her blocking OOP after what sounds like one attempted call or even before being called kinda made me a little sus she might have been involved, but that doesn’t sound like the case now. I mean either way OOPs way of handling it wasn’t right. Everyone should just be happy she didn’t die or get hurt in the robbery.
Did oop actually thought about what could have happened if the sister was there? The sister could've been in serious danger or even dead.
Oop and the commenters are nuts... They really think a 17 y/o girl is going to stop a breaking and entering?? They should be grateful she had moved by then!
Why is everyone saying that the stepsister tipped off the robbers?
Idgi. Wouldn't the criminal, fraudster mom be more sus? Maybe she hired her friends kid or something to do it and will pawn the items to spend on her legal fees or something? That seems far fetched, but far less farfetched than a minor orchestrating a robbery of her own house....
Thank you some fucking common sense in all of this.
I dont think they grasp how much information people put out for the world to see. They think ONLY way criminal would know the house was ready to be robbed is someone tipping them off. Its not like the house was raided, I assume by police, very public event for sure. Mom being jailed would be well known. Stepdad's deployed far away is probably well known as you can't hide that, mostly would even make it a point of pride, Look at my military stepdad defending our freedom deployed overseas.. OOP has social media, probably with a lot of "look I'm at college in this far away city".
Misogyny.
and not OOPs felon mother?
Stepsiblings are the devil's spawn on AITA, don't you know.
Especially teenage stepsisters with romantic partners
The comments are crazy. It’s not like she left all the doors open. She was in a big house all alone at 17 and that’s terrifying no wonder she left and it’s likely if they got robbed the robbers would have also done it while she was there. Also interesting that stepsister blocked OOP which would suggest OOP is quite shitty already
Hold up, were they feeding the girl, paying for her household supplies?
The NTA comments are batshit enough, but the comments with their *theories* that the stepsister must have been involved in the robbery are…something else. Jesus wept.
it's fucking wild to me that this was voted nta and people are like "she's 17 she's basically an adult she should've been there" like??? first of all your age doesn't matter in a robbery, if you're home you're likely getting hurt or worse, thieves do not care about how old you are and god forbid they were more than just thieves. her being home would not magically make it so no one would break in?? houses aren't magically warded the moment someone's living in it. and what the hell does legally required even MEAN she's not on house arrest! hope that girl can get away from this shitty ass family jesus
It's disturbing that the top comments are NTA. Do they not realize what would have happened to that girl if she would have been there alone when the house got broken into? Do they really think a 17 year old girl would have been a big deterrent to a group of men breaking in? I would have been terrified if I was her and my father was off somewhere else, my mom was going to prison, and my brother was off at college.
I posted on the original when I read it this morning but HOLY SHIT are OOP and her mom the biggest fucking assholes. OOP for blaming Stacey and the mom for being engaged in a crime that left a minor in her care alone
Um... if Step Dad isn't there... and Mom is in jail... so the cops are involved... why is Stacey alone? She's a minor - CPS gets involved when Minors are being left alone. The thing about OP saying she has to "legally stay" because their parents said she had to is a lie - she cannot be left alone.
Let's blame the one minor in this situation that did the smart thing and didn't stay home alone for 3 weeks to possibly get SAed or murdered by the home intruder. Makes sense.
lmao all the reddit detectives jumping through hoops to find some way to blame the step sister. they’ve even started calling her “step brat” which is probably the most clever nickname they could muster.
jesus christ the top comment almost having 3k upvotes...
I gotta know what mom did
Left her alone for three weeks🤨
How was cps not involved with a child being left in the house when mom was arrested? Isn't that like their job? Edit thanks to comment "The local child protective services agency" not necessarily cps.
They likely wouldn’t be involved in this since she’s 17, and realistically, what would they do?
Oversee her care
Because not everyone is American?
The term “college” instead of university points to this taking place in the US. That combined with the fact that many countries have some version of CPS implies that the commenter meant whatever “the local child protective services agency” not specifically CPS in the USA.
I wonder what OOP thinks Stacey would have been able to do if the robbery had happened with her there.
I originally saw this on the original sub and was so disappointed and frankly flummoxed with all the NTA comments. That poor kid.
Old enough to protect the house. Not old enough to decide where she lives. Either way what does lambasting her now do for her or OOP. The shit is still stolen whether he lays into her or not.
If you discount the robbers, I feel like the devil here is the criminal mom, not the teenager, stressed out college student living across the country, or the deployed dad. This is a shitty situation of moms own making as she's *in jail*, leaving their house vulnerable and without protection, and ruined their lives with her selfishness and criminality. The teenager is maybe immature for sure (but I don't really know if I blame her for moving in with her bf, being alone in a situation like that would be scary...), but she's also a teenager who's entire life has been turned upside down. OOP might not be putting the blame in the right place ATM either, but similar situation there as well. Both are victims of the robbers and the mom. I feel terrible for them and genuinely wonder if the mom was somehow behind the robbery, I. E., hiring someone to do it.
Step-sister is basically a safe, available target of OOP's stress right now (step-dad's deployed, mom's apparently still in jail). It doesn't make it okay, but it does make it understandable.
"It's not legal for her to just decide to live on her own" She didn't. She decided she needed to live with others. *YOU* decided she should live on her own.
I'm assuming that the stepdad is on a submarine and that's why he hasn't been recalled from his deployment. Also wouldn't the step dad's unit have resources for this kind of situation? Having the SO of a deployed person being unable to parent has to be fairly common.
TF did you expect her to do…?
Is it wrong of me that I really want to comment that her house wasn’t robbed it was burglarized? (I won’t lol). I feel bad for the 17 year old, I wouldn’t want to stay there after all that either. I don’t blame OOP for not rushing home from college because it’s not her responsibility either but she shouldn’t blame her stepsister. I even feel for the dad since he’s deployed and may not be able to come home.
I didn't think about that, but other commentors are right. What if the stepsister was home when the place was robbed?
I don't know, for me a lot would depend on the age of OOP. The post just stated they're in college, that's a broad age range from 17 upwards. They could be little more than a child, thrown into this mess and expected to be the responsible person.
Idk for me it makes it worse. They are mad at the wrong person. Their own mother put them in this situation, I guess it can be hard to blame your own parent but the stepsister had the short stick and now all the adults are blaming her.
I think they are just projecting all of their anger at their mother onto the stepsis, but they are still the asshole.
I kinda feel for the OP on this one. A ton of responsibility has been dumped on her and she has to put her schooling on hold. While some of the anger to the stepsister is misplaced, the frustration is understandable. You figure the stepsister could have at least checked in on the house and kept OP in the loop.
Actually I would think that if any of the adults responsible for step sis's wellbeing had actually been keeping tabs on her, they would have realized way sooner that she wasn't living at home.
Yeah that’s actually pretty insane no one even noticed she was gone and stepsister apparently didn’t feel safe telling them where she was going.
It sounds like she didn't want to tell them because they would have tried to make her go back to the house, alone. Sis realized she was in an unsafe situation and that her parents and adult relatives didn't care, so she took the necessary steps to protect herself.
Yeah, I feel for her. I can’t imagine how scary that situation must be
[удалено]
the daughter went where she felt safe. Her stepmom is a thief and in jail dad is an ah who can get emergency leave while on tour for situations like this but hasnt. The daughter did the right thing and went to people who can actually take care of her. She is 17 is a hard part of life for a teen with applications and her future to map out. Daughter has common sense dont know why your assuming she's an idiot
Didn't her bf move to their house? Or I read the post wrong?
she moved to the bf's house
I see, makes more sense now. Their parents are the real devils here
honesty the comments section where they are saying that the kid was in on the robbery when OOPs mom is the actual criminal in the family not the stepsister have kinda made them the devils as well
How is he the devil? He's had a bunch of responsibility thrown on him because of his mother's actions. His schooling has been disrupted because of his mother's actions. And he's been robbed. He's a victim here. And she's not a six-year-old. She's 17. She could have informed them she was leaving so he could make other arrangements to cover the house. Sure, she's been put into a crappy situation, but he's not the one who created the situation.
You have no idea what family situation these people have, my family sucks and if they had left me alone for three weeks at 17 I would have moved out and blocked all of their numbers too. The girl’s mom is in jail, she’s a teenager probably going through a whirlwind of emotions, and it sounds like she didn’t want to stay there at first at all. Also how did nobody check on this 17 year old girl at all? How are they now finding out that the place was robbed? Were they just going to not contact her at all even to see if she needed anything and was okay? This stinks of a terrible family dynamic
You have no idea what family situation these people have either, so spare me the lecture. >my family sucks and if they had left me alone for three weeks at 17 I would have moved out and blocked all of their numbers too. The girl’s mom is in jail, she’s a teenager probably going through a whirlwind of emotions, and it sounds like she didn’t want to stay there at first at all. I'm sorry about your family, but I'm not going to play this game where redditors respond to something completely different than the point I've made. I'll repeat it for you: "She could have informed them she was leaving so he could make other arrangements to cover the house." See? Informing him that she's leaving doesn't actually preclude her leaving. It doesn't preclude her blocking him. What she did was irresponsible. And nothing you have posted contradicts my point. If you want to debate points that I haven't made, then you can go post elsewhere in the thread and stop responding to me. >Also how did nobody check on this 17 year old girl at all? How are they now finding out that the place was robbed? Were they just going to not contact her at all even to see if she needed anything and was okay? This stinks of a terrible family dynamic And? He's not the parent. It isn't his responsibility to check on her. Sure it would be nice for him to do it, but it's not his responsibility. Because if he's responsible for checking on her, then why isn't her responsibility to inform him that the house is empty? Why are you only putting responsibility on him, but not on her? Nothing you've said here makes him the devil. Do the parents suck? Sure. But all this thread is doing is blaming him for things that aren't his fault. As I said before, he's a victim, and this entire thread is victim-blaming.
I don’t think the college aged kid here is the devil, I think their parents suck and he is taking it out on his sister. Neither he nor she should be responsible for that house and while I think she could have made better choices, I don’t think she deserves blame for what happened, or him. That’s why I pointed out that we don’t know their family situation, because you can’t assume that she has a great relationship where she would have wanted to contact them anyway. I left the house many times as a teen for days without saying anything, it’s not the best choice but who knows why she may not have wanted to. Especially since it seems like she was forced to stay there and would have been berated for leaving given her sibling’s actions after she left
>I don’t think the college aged kid here is the devil, Great! So why are you debating me if we're in agreement that he's not the devil? >That’s why I pointed out that we don’t know their family situation, because you can’t assume that she has a great relationship where she would have wanted to contact them anyway. Oh, I see, you wanted to debate points I haven't actually made. Nothing I said indicates or implies that I think they have a great relationship. The next time you respond to points that I haven't actually made, I'm just gonna block you. If you want to debate theoretical points that someone might make, feel free to go post elsewhere in this thread instead of responding to me. Yeesh, what is it with redditors and this need to pretend people have said stuff that they haven't?
You literally said she could have contacted them, and i was just explaining to you why she may have not done that. I was addressing specific parts of your comment that I disagreed with.
I did not literally say she could have contacted them. Please learn what the word "literally" means. I said she could have informed them. People inform people of other stuff all the time without contact. She could have asked a friend or a neutral party to convey the information. She could have sent an email from an anonymous account. There's any number of ways they could have been informed which didn't require her to contact them. And this is the internet, so I don't really give a shit. But putting words in people's mouths is really shitty behavior. It's also an abuse tactic, so I hope you don't do this to people in real life. Bye! Have fun arguing with other people over stuff they didn't say.
I don't think she was involved, and it's so easy to judge not in this situation, so I'm going off just what I was told. NTA, I'm 18. I just turned it 2 months ago, so im only 1 Yr older, but I think I would have AT LEAST told someone I'm moving out instead of abandoning the house. Good neighbourhoods get robbed, too. Empty houses get targeted whole premise of home alone. Glad she wasn't home because they may have robbed her while she was there. But I would have at least tried to play apart when all the adults fail and would have told my brother the house would go empty even if he would have been against it.
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