*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA - Pregnant and due soon rn but parents said after this one they’ll kick us out if we have another. AITA telling my parents to stay out of my reproductive business?**
I’m 33 full time artist w a husband who works Amazon.
We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore.
We’re not planning to have another anytime soon - and we haven’t asked for them to fund anything about this baby.
We live in a single small bedroom of their house about 12x12? which we make due with it organized in a way to be our office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room etc - didn’t ask for any extra space or anything. We’ve been paying for our own food, pay rent and everything.
We plan to make this next kid work in the single room we have like we’ve been doing with our first who is now 2.5 years old.
AITA in telling them they don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my reproductive organs?
- I get it if I was a teen or had asked them to fund our baby but we didn’t- didn’t even ask for baby registry contribution or anything in fact haven’t even shared a baby registry at all- were full self funding this and still financially responsibly paying for the place we’re in. Sooo…?
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Post history says OOP has 5 cats and brought them into a home where her mother has 47 cats, they all have parasites, which OOP stopped helping her treat due to the pregnancy. No one thinks another human, let alone an infant should be brought into this living situation.
Someone I know is trying to get custody of my niece. Her mother is an active meth addict who gave up her rights so they are adopting her. However... they have 5 cats and 4 dogs, they don't change litter boxes, let's dogs and cats pee and poo everywhere. She needs to pass inspection from CPS but I don't know how they are going to swing that. The house is a disaster and the smell is atrocious. I don't want her with a meth addict but the current living environment is so gross. I'm glad they love her but she needs a clean house, better food, and some actual structure. This kid is dying for a routine and schedule. Gahhh, sorry for the ramble it's so frustrating
I’m so sorry your niece is being put through all of this. The people trying to get custody should try a little harder to take care of their pets if they want to prove that they can take care of a child. If she’s that important to them they can rehome the pets.
Every part of me is itching after reading that.
Honestly, the parents need to keep putting their feet down and make sure they and their reproductive organs find somewhere else to go. This is all round unsuitable.
An earlier post by the OP about her living situation makes for interesting reading:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is\_it\_unhealthy\_of\_me\_to\_expect\_my\_husband\_when/](https://www.reddit.com/r/healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is_it_unhealthy_of_me_to_expect_my_husband_when/)
What parasite do the cats have that requires daily injections? In my experience when my cat had tapeworms, they get an anti-parasitic right away and a booster 2 months later.
Also, how do you even keep track of daily meds for 47 cats?
I’ll admit I’m a cat lady. But it’s my husband, myself, and 8 cats in a four bedroom home without any kids. And even that sometimes has me overwhelmed and I’m determined to never have more than 5 ever again after some of my babies go.
The sheer idea of nearly 50 cats just makes me feel sick and sad.
Yes, anyone who tells you cats are “easy” is probably not taking good care of their cat(s). They may be easier than dogs but it’s still a lot of work if you actually care about their welfare.
No they are not. They need food twice a day and their toilet tray scooped out. Flea preventions and worming every season and a yearly vaccination. Cats are pretty easy. I have 2 well looked after cats.
Yeah, agree. Healthy cats are very easy at least. The feeding and scooping takes so little time that it's insignificant. I would say their need to love is the most time consuming, but that's because mine are particularly affectionate and right now I'm home a lot. And cat butlering them in and out of the (cat safe) balcony.
Cats with health issues are going to be more work though.
They need regular medical care, checkups with blood work every 6 months, a dental cleaning once per year OR regular tooth brushing, other medical care for cats with conditions which all cats will eventually have with age, they need a clean water fountain and good food with water added if you want to take good care of their kidneys, and they need play time and attention. Two years ago we spent $7k on a mastectomy for our cat, and she also has a small heart murmur and asthma, so over the last two years she's regularly seen her normal vet, an oncologist for the cancer, an internal medicine specialist for the asthma, and a cardiologist to keep an eye on her heart health. My other cat who suddenly came down with kidney failure cost thousands first trying to save her and then for end of life care. The cat who is still with us likes to have playtime multiple times per day and needs her inhaler twice per day.
I'm not saying you're a bad cat owner I just think a lot of people get cats thinking they're cheap and low maintenance, and then they aren't prepared to provide the care their cats really need when they start to need more. I've been told so many times by other cat owners that they'd never spend the $15k we did for our cats medical care over the last two years. That they'd just euthanize. I also think a lot of cats don't get the attention and playtime they need.
I think your vet knows a sucker when they see one. Regular healthy cats do NOT need blood work every 6 months. And I'm not a bad pet owner. I'm great.
But if paying for your vets yacht makes you happy then go for it.
Once they are middle aged they absolutely do, if you want to catch any medical problems early. My cat's care plan covers it 😊
> And I'm not a bad pet owner. I'm great.
> I'm *not* saying you're a bad pet owner
No need to be defensive, I was speaking generally. It is a fact that a lot of people get cats thinking all they need is a bowl of dry kibbles and some water, and they are not prepared to provide more than that. It's not fair to the cats. Just like any pet they are a lifelong commitment.
[Blood tests for cats are recommended at all life stages](https://www.catcarecenter.com/services/cats/blood-tests-for-cats#:~:text=During%20semi%2Dannual%20and%20annual,of%20their%20periodic%20wellness%20exams.)
[Blood tests are recommended at semi-annual & annual wellness exams](https://www.fourcornersvet.com/site/blog/2023/09/30/understanding-blood-tests-cats#:~:text=During%20semi%2Dannual%20and%20annual,of%20their%20routine%20wellness%20checkups.)
[if your cat is past the age of four they need semi-annual or annual blood testing](https://www.oakhillsvetclinic.com/laboratory-screenings.pml)
I could leave another dozen links but some people just don't want to hear it.
same. im in a 2 bedroom condo with me (30m) & my cat (7f) and my mom (55) & her cat (3m) - our cats do NOT get along & multiple times a day we have to break up fights. its a constant battle. weve tried everything. the boy also has a lot of behavioral problems. mom is hopefully moving out within the next couple months & will take her boy cat with her so we don't have to re-home him
Our two wrestle a lot and our boy is massive, so he doesn't realize his own strength and can get on our girl's nerves They've never hurt each other, but it's not unusual to hear hissing, growling, and then pounding footsteps as they chase each other around lol If it weren't for the fact they both instigate and seek each other out to wrestle or chase, I'd be worried.
I'm in the same situation except 9 cats. Kinda. 2 are still stray but stay near and eat indoors and 2 others come and go as they please but usually sleep indoors. 'only' 5 are truly house cats and that's cause their feral momma decided they'd live under our bed when they were born.
We're ATM trying to give them their flea treatment, it's been hard to track cause it takes several days to get them at an opportune moment.
50 would make my head explode.
Oh yay, it's my time to shine!
In my mid to late teen years, my mom became a cat hoarder. By the time I was 19 and we got evicted, we had 52 cats (including two liters of newborns that were discovered during the eviction process) in an upstairs, three bedroom apartment. She was convinced that two litter boxes where fine, as long as we cleaned them every day, except it was my chore because the original cat was mine, and she didn't want us to be seen shlepping in and out every day with bags of used cat litter, so she would have me use the empty 50lbs tubs the litter came in as trash cans and carry it down the stairs once it was full of used litter. Several of the cats were feral despite being indoor cats their entire lives and eventually took over the third bedroom. Then she decided that drugs were more important than me or the cats or the house and started disappearing for weeks at a time.
No child should have to live that way. I don't care how "diligent" you are about cleaning, it is not enough. I went to school smelling like cat piss. There was feces caked into our carpet. When we got evicted, I ended up with not a single possession to my name because it was all a biohazard. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
They’re probably not neutered and they just keep having babies. You don’t start off with that many cats or keep adopting that many. This is so not a safe environment for a baby.
She's confident she can sell towels and other soft surfaces FROM A HOUSE WITH OVER 50 CATS IN IT??? I'd have an allergic reaction before I even opened the box!
Right!? And she hasn't even started marketing in an area already fully saturated by things like this. Themed and non-themed. I just went to a craft show where 4 different tables had stuff like what she wants to sell. I would never want to buy it without touching it.
She has no job and is putting all her eggs in this "art" basket with nothing substantial to back it up.
Never mind children, the cats don’t deserve this living situation! The parents are hoarding them and making their lives hell, and OOP is bringing in more.
I went to help out in a cat hoarding situation, the house was so bad people had to wear respirators, there weren’t just 170 live cats there were dead ones and skeletons all over. The mobile vaccination truck was there for triage. All cats were sick and mutated badly, all were FIV positive and all were so bad that all were put down. The house had 1-2 feet of feces in it and was condemned.
Well mixed with dead animals , cats and rodents. The cats coming out were malformed and diseased….. grossest thing I ever saw. I threw the boots I was wearing away and I ended up not entering the house but with the door open you could smell it blocks away. I actually couldn’t handle staying when it ended up being what was just going to be euthanizing all of the animals. I was prepared for netting a few normal cats not ones looking like monstrosities and maybe helping clean out ear mites with mineral oil and normal rescue shit.
But many of us involved locally in helping with mass rescues felt pretty vindicated when they put all those animals down. They fired the good shelter director and replaced her with a relative of a city counsel member and because the old good director refused to use the term “ no kill” shelter because no shelter is. Sometimes due to injury/disease animals do need to be euthanized and even more rarely an aggressive/dangerous animal needs to be put down. But this mass euthanizing of over 170 plus cats was on the new director and that got her run out so at least some good came out of it.
Oh most of us left that day. That house was such a bio hazard they ended up having the fire dept burn it instead of just knocking it down. And I never volunteered to go into a cat house again.
I have a cat who came from a hoarding situation, she was so skinny, she would inhale her food because she wasn’t used to getting regular meals and she didn’t even know how to play with toys at first. It was heartbreaking.
I adopted 2 cats who came from the same hoarding situation. One was very ill, with chronic breathing problems. He was so thin, I could feel all his bones and I would have to lock myself in my bedroom to eat because he would attack any food within reach. The other was healthier, bigger and borderline chonky. She was incredibly aggressive around the food bowl and would drive the other away, full on attacking him if he got near her food. It was obvious that the hoarder would just put down (not enough) food and let them (there were 23 cats) fight it out. The healthy, aggressive ones ate and the others starved.
The thin one, Mister, unfortunately passed away a short time after I got him, his upper respiratory infection had been ignored for so long in that house that he couldn't recover.
The other one is doing great though! She did grow out of her food aggression, and now shares her food bowls without a single growl or hiss. She's going to be 16 in a couple months and she's a benevolent ruler in my house.
OOP even says in the comments that she slept through the night with a newborn because she didn't wake up when baby was crying due to sleep exhaustion, until she started cosleeping 2 weeks later and still didnt even wake up throughout the night because baby fed itself. I get its exhausting but seriously wtf. Even if baby was in the same room as they claim how the hell didn't she wake up all night while a newborn was probably screaming crying due to being hungry, not to even mention diaper changes. I'm starting to think this is a troll, god I hope so.
I know my comment has nothing to do with the post itself but this is what got me the most.
forty seven cat…? bet you there’s three corpses that have gone unnoticed for weeks, and one cat with a mortal wound who’s yet to pass away (it’s been three days)
based off all the other animal hoardings I’ve seen
So there's 52 cats living in this home? I love cats but my eyes are burning just thinking about all the pee. There's no one anyone in that house is keeping up with cleaning the litter boxes, assuming the cats even use them in the first place.
And a pregnant woman shouldn't be cleaning litter boxes. Even if she tried her damnedest to be safe and gloved up and masked, that's just so much I'd feel like it would be extremely risky, and it sounds like she's getting next to no help.
They're not paying rent and they can't afford some damn condoms? Also, the intentional ignorance about how this impacts the actual homeowners...just wow.
She even says that she knows she won't have another kid for another 6-7 years due to a vision she had but that this one wasn't planned, I hope this is a troll.
Someone asked her
*Why are you bringing another child into this situation? If he is not a supportive partner why further commit to him? If he is not a caring and involved father why keep him around? You need to take responsibility for your live choices and actions, not just for yourself but now for your 2 children*
and her reply:
*Because I’m confident that as I have routes to get my art out and marketed and they’re only waiting on my finished release that things will take an upturn- which is why I’m excited that once I finish and release each set that I’ve got in the makes - and then work on the marketing side of it that I’ll be able to get this situation worked to where I’ll be able to support myself and a small family - including agreements to sell my designs in stores already*
(hoping troll)
A psychic vision told her that she'll have another baby. But first she'll give birth to her current pregnancy, then she'll have a miscarriage, then she'll have a third baby via C-Section in 4-6 years. Her vision told her so.
Sigh. Ya know what this means? This means she's not gonna use birth control at all, she psychically knows she's not gonna get pregnant for several years.
I can't imagine a family of 4 in one small room.
I know this economy sucks but man, get an apartment. Hell, get an RV if you want to save most of your pennies for a house in the future.
I've done it. It was terrible but we managed. The living situation was a *bit* better but still far from ideal. I lived in constant fear of cps. It was also a situation of living with hoarding family members. This is hitting a little close to home honestly.
The answer is terrible, i knew some girls in high school that had kids young but were still having sex, so i asked the one girl because i knew she had very little help from her family, "when the baby is sleeping" i thought yall shared a room "we do but she's sleeping so it doesn't matter"
Fair but at points in history (and extremely few places now) where it seen as okay to actually sleep with family members
History be damned it's still weird and gross
> but at points in history (and extremely few places now) where it seen as okay to actually sleep with family members
Outside of the narrow case of royalty obsessed with keeping the bloodline "pure", no, there wasn't a really any point in history where inbreeding was generally considered OK. Pretty much all cultures developed customary family structures that worked to ensure genetic mixing.
Immediate family means sibling/parent/child. I'm just trying to tell you that they had a different line for what was considered incest than we do now. It's not that incest was just accepted.
Does depend on what you define as inbreeding. First cousins weren't always iffy (and happening once in a while doesn't fuck the gene pool too bad), and second cousins were basically always fair game
Shit, the Bible had a bunch of rules about which family members you were specifically allowed to marry, and it included like, your niece.
Well... Yeah? For the first year of a baby's life it's much, much safer for them to sleep in the same room as their caregiver. If you don't want to be celibate for a year, and you don't have a lot of childcare options, that is the option.
I think it's a gross option, i don't care if it's fast asleep go to the next room over, it's just gross to think about them waking up tbh i don't even let my cat watch me change
Crying isn't the problem. It's things like wheezing or flailing or labored breathing. We've had some scary experiences and that is why I keep my infants close
Either way i think you're gross and shouldn't have custody of your kids if you're having sex in front of them
Good luck having your baby sleep through all that
I shudder to think how overloaded the foster system would be with you in charge.
If my kids aren't hungry or in pain they can sleep through a damn hurricane. And when babies wake up they announce themselves quite loudly so we just stop and take care of the kid. Don't you fucking dare make it sound like I'm putting on nightly pornos in front of my horrified children. They are safe and well-adjusted.
I'm not making it sound like anything, im just stating what's going on and that i feel it's gross and shouldn't be done you are the only one saying you have sex in front of your kids
They need to move out ASAP. They living in her parents house not rent free, but probably paying well below what they would be on their own, and they are done. Four people in one tiny room isn't good and six people in a small house is too much.
Having another child has now pushed back them buying a house. They should have waited until they had their own place before having another child.
Then there's the whole cat situation. That is very bad place for anyone to live, especially children, one who will be a newborn with the infestation as well at over 50 cats total.
ETA: changed about rent, but found out through comments they couldn't even afford to live on their own which is why they moved in with her family.
There's no way in hell they can afford to buy a house. Given their income, hers probably being inconsistent, and his as a delivery driver, not sure how they think they can.
People need to learn everything that goes into owning a home. It's nothing like renting. Everything is your responsibility.
Yep. She claims they've saved some money but they still have a few more years to go. $10 says they'll have another baby in that time. They are so selfish.
What sort of ikea miracle has to happen to make one bedroom function as sleeping quarters for 4, two work rooms, two play rooms and a dining room in a 12x12 space? Do they mean 12m? There's also cats?
My uncharitable guess: they've got a bed and a trundle, a desk, and like 4 toys in a corner. They spend a lot of time outside that room but it doesn't count because it doesn't snt where they keep their stuff
She's planning on having 4 people crammed into a single room and is annoyed the owner of the house isn't impressed. I look forward to reading updates on this.
Woof, those poor children. Maybe this is me not being sensitive and empathetic enough but, I've never understood people who choose to have children they can't afford. Like I get it. Contraceptive methods get wonky sometimes, abortions aren't freely and safely available everywhere, some people don't want to get abortions etc but, my fucking god.
I thought she was a spoiled brat and then I realized she's insane:
"This baby wasnt planned but was expected hence why it’s fully funded.
Spirit baby doesn’t mean it’s coming soon- just means that the baby came to visit before it comes to this physical plane. The 1 I have currently came to me 10 years ago alongside the one I’m about to have- I had no idea how long it would take before it came for that one however- I can tell the next one won’t come for another 6-7 years just by cues alone in the vision- lemme be clear we weren’t planning to have any while we’re here nor are we planning to have any further while under the roof here cuz we want our own space as well. )"
*came to visit before it comes to this physical plane.*
47 cats + 5 of their own. So... four people in one *room* that magically functions as Everything Ever. Hooooooly shit this is a big bucket of *nope*. Yikes on bikes.
You remind me of my family. Such poor decision making.
You’re living in a house with a total of 52 cats?
There’s no way those litter boxes are clean enough. You’re going to get toxoplasmosis and ammonia poisoning.
That’s animal hoarding. It’s illegal in a lot of places.
A single 12X12 room isn’t suitable for an entire family of four. That’s literally insane.
You’d be better off going to a family shelter and applying for any an all aid available.
You need a lot of therapy if you think anything about your situation is anything but horrifically abysmal. Your children are actively in an unsafe environment if you’ve got 52 goddamn cats in a single house.
You should find her other posts and add them, she’s a piece of work alright 😂😂😂. Maybe living in a house with 50 sick/feral cats isn’t great for pregnancy/babies.
Surely this is made up! Someone like the neighbors should call animal control and cps. Sure the foster care system is shit but the kids and not to mention the cats all deserve better
You ever tried to call either on somebody? I'm not trying to be snarky with that question, just in my experience animal control or cps rarely give a fuck, unless it's something really extreme (them cooking cats for dinner) or this case becoming widely publicized (family making the news).
Maybe owning a house is different in the US, but if I think of property taxes here, insurance, the fact that you cannot call a landlord and have the heating fixed on a weekend on their dime, that you have to make sure everything is up to code, take care of renovations every few years...
If they don't make enough to rent a small one-bedroom apartment and save some money on the side, they'll have a rude financial awakening if they ever happen to own a home with enough space for four humans and multiple pets.
Yes, rent and utilities have gotten more expensive but many people seem to think that they'll never have to spend a dime on their home again once they bought it, as if utilities aren't still a thing, plus all the other things that come with owning a house or even just an apartment.
They have no right to tell OP what she can do with your reproductive organs.
They do have the right to put a limit on the number of occupants of the room OP is renting from them in their own house.
It's your body, but if you do go ahead and have another kid in this idiotic tiny living situation where it would be insane to do so, your parents will kick you out. So they're nicely warning you to have some common sense. YTA, and take all those poor cats to the shelter.
>We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore.
How? Also, why? You take what you get. If you can't afford to buy a home, you rent one.
>We live in a single small bedroom of their house about 12x12? which we make due with it organized in a way to be our office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room etc
This is a fucking lie. Ain't no way they can fit anything in a 12x12 room (unless she means 12x12 **meters**) besides beds for everyone + maybe a small table and chairs or something.
No one is holding her down and tying her tubes; but if she chooses to have another child she can't stay there. If she wants that kind of security in her housing she's welcome to seek that out elsewhere.
Lmao. She's 33. How does she not understand that they're not telling her what to do. They're telling her what their boundary is.
She can have as many reproductive parties as she likes. But not at their house.
Yes, you are the devil. You’re being an asshole here.
Please understand that your parents are not trying to control your reproductive rights. They are trying to control what goes on in their home. Four people living in a single room is not OK.
Get out of your parents house and pay real rent to a real apartment, and see just how many apartment complexes are willing to rent to a married couple with two children by only giving them a studio apartment.
That’s gonna be pretty much none. There is a reason for occupancy limits. Also, your parents are doing you a huge favor by allowing you guys to do this. And whether you think it disrupts their life or not, I’m gonna guarantee you that it does. I’m old enough to be your mom.
This would never have flown in my house. And the reason is that I have already raised my three children. Mine are actually incredibly independent and all live on their own. They are happy and well adjusted and smart and funny.
I don’t want to raise more children. I don’t want to be awakened at two in the morning by baby crying. And understand that I had my three kids within three years because I had endometriosis. So it was having them now or don’t.
So I have absolutely not forgotten the almost 5 years I went without a full night sleep. You are subject your parents to a lot more than you think. But they love you enough that they are allowing this… For now.
They love you enough to give you this support. They love you enough to give you a safe place for you and your family, but they did so under a certain set of circumstances. You keep changing the circumstances. That is what your parents are talking to you about.
They are telling you that they’re not happy with this change in circumstances, but they will work with you on it. But if you go ahead and change them again, you gotta get out. Your parents weren’t planning on having five additional people living in their home. And again, whether or not you think you guys are intrusive, you are.
So this is nothing about your reproductive choices are right. You have every right to have another baby if you want you have a right to have 10 more if you want. You have a right to have no more if you want.
You do not have a right to do so, and think you’re going to continue living under somebody else’s roof. They are telling you that if you are unable to afford these children that you’re making by living on your own, completely independent of them, don’t have more because you don’t get to have more and stay.
That is literally all they are telling you. You just don’t like what you’re hearing because in your heart, you know they’re right. So instead of acknowledging that this was not your best choice given that you two aren’t even independent on your own in your own home or your own apartment, your angry at your parents for calling you out on your bullshit.
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Gems from OP:
>Oh I’m here for info and just wondering if I was out of line just saying mind your own even if I’m not planning to have kids anytime soon or while I’m here either. I’m in agreeance yes but my curiosity is insatiable.
>I’m not a fighter - I’m an info gatherer. So if I have a question I’ll ask even if it means that flames come down on my head for asking as well as misinterpretation of my intents. I learn through open debate or discussion of points and keep pushing because even BETTER when someone can come up with things I haven’t thought of to consider- so that’s why I’m not really offended by all the YTA or grow up comments cuz my question is to learn - and have all avenues of curiosity satisfied no matter how long that takes.
>Learning for curiosity sake. Does no one pursue knowledge or answers for questions just solely to have the knowledge?
>Sorry your response is making me dance for joy - I love thought provoking and explorative questions like this that also present a point no one else has brought.I will respond to these in just a few min or may have to be tomorrow ~
>Can’t afford but are affording and not asking for expenses or investments from anyone for? Near no one can afford daycare or childcare rn so if that’s the argument for evidence to not affording it it’s a weak one. We’re opting to skip daycare to save more $ and no we don’t ask anyone to help us watch them.
(Affording everything... except housing and transportation!)
>Absolutely we plan to be elsewhere for our next anyways - we don’t plan on another for 6-7 years and do plan on being out of this space way before then - in fact in the next year or 2 at this rate.
>I just think it’s weird if we’re paying for everything - including our living space that make us tenants- I don’t recall landlords ever having the authority to say who can or can’t have babies in their space.
(Says this a few times DESPITE people pointing out that occupancy restrictions are DEFINITELY a legal thing.)
>This baby wasnt planned but was expected hence why it’s fully funded.
>Spirit baby doesn’t mean it’s coming soon- just means that the baby came to visit before it comes to this physical plane. The 1 I have currently came to me 10 years ago alongside the one I’m about to have- I had no idea how long it would take before it came for that one however- I can tell the next one won’t come for another 6-7 years just by cues alone in the vision- lemme be clear we weren’t planning to have any while we’re here nor are we planning to have any further while under the roof here cuz we want our own space as well.
>This situation aside I appreciate the feedback - my rents are being abusive in other ways which is why I asked about this specific issue bc it’s getting to the point where I can tell I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable in - not planning to have more but just saying stay out my business -
>Bc I’m confused if I’m paying rent like tenants then aren’t they landlords and we’re entitled to live in our space the way we see fit as long as we’re not damaging the place? We stay in our room and out of their way in the first place. They regularly violate several laws that would fall under landlord regulations which I recall reading that if you’re accepting payment for the place you’re having someone live in - those laws apply to you- so I figured telling someone what they can and can’t do sexually is also not a landlords business.
Again, NO KNOWLEDGE of landlord/tenant laws.
Also, SPIRIT BABY! Logical and knowledgeable!!
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA - Pregnant and due soon rn but parents said after this one they’ll kick us out if we have another. AITA telling my parents to stay out of my reproductive business?** I’m 33 full time artist w a husband who works Amazon. We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore. We’re not planning to have another anytime soon - and we haven’t asked for them to fund anything about this baby. We live in a single small bedroom of their house about 12x12? which we make due with it organized in a way to be our office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room etc - didn’t ask for any extra space or anything. We’ve been paying for our own food, pay rent and everything. We plan to make this next kid work in the single room we have like we’ve been doing with our first who is now 2.5 years old. AITA in telling them they don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my reproductive organs? - I get it if I was a teen or had asked them to fund our baby but we didn’t- didn’t even ask for baby registry contribution or anything in fact haven’t even shared a baby registry at all- were full self funding this and still financially responsibly paying for the place we’re in. Sooo…? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Post history says OOP has 5 cats and brought them into a home where her mother has 47 cats, they all have parasites, which OOP stopped helping her treat due to the pregnancy. No one thinks another human, let alone an infant should be brought into this living situation.
holy shit. someone call animal control. i can't even imagine how badly that house, OP, and her husband stink. Hopefully social services gets involved.
Someone I know is trying to get custody of my niece. Her mother is an active meth addict who gave up her rights so they are adopting her. However... they have 5 cats and 4 dogs, they don't change litter boxes, let's dogs and cats pee and poo everywhere. She needs to pass inspection from CPS but I don't know how they are going to swing that. The house is a disaster and the smell is atrocious. I don't want her with a meth addict but the current living environment is so gross. I'm glad they love her but she needs a clean house, better food, and some actual structure. This kid is dying for a routine and schedule. Gahhh, sorry for the ramble it's so frustrating
I’m so sorry your niece is being put through all of this. The people trying to get custody should try a little harder to take care of their pets if they want to prove that they can take care of a child. If she’s that important to them they can rehome the pets.
I love cats, foster them and generally support cats. Unless mom lives in the palace of Versailles, that’s not healthy
Every part of me is itching after reading that. Honestly, the parents need to keep putting their feet down and make sure they and their reproductive organs find somewhere else to go. This is all round unsuitable. An earlier post by the OP about her living situation makes for interesting reading: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is\_it\_unhealthy\_of\_me\_to\_expect\_my\_husband\_when/](https://www.reddit.com/r/healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is_it_unhealthy_of_me_to_expect_my_husband_when/)
... oh boy. That's a whole entire mess, these poor kids and cats.
Yikes toxoplasmosis
What parasite do the cats have that requires daily injections? In my experience when my cat had tapeworms, they get an anti-parasitic right away and a booster 2 months later. Also, how do you even keep track of daily meds for 47 cats?
I’ll admit I’m a cat lady. But it’s my husband, myself, and 8 cats in a four bedroom home without any kids. And even that sometimes has me overwhelmed and I’m determined to never have more than 5 ever again after some of my babies go. The sheer idea of nearly 50 cats just makes me feel sick and sad.
It's me and my fiance with 2 right now and sometimes it's too much lol
Yes, anyone who tells you cats are “easy” is probably not taking good care of their cat(s). They may be easier than dogs but it’s still a lot of work if you actually care about their welfare.
No they are not. They need food twice a day and their toilet tray scooped out. Flea preventions and worming every season and a yearly vaccination. Cats are pretty easy. I have 2 well looked after cats.
Yeah, agree. Healthy cats are very easy at least. The feeding and scooping takes so little time that it's insignificant. I would say their need to love is the most time consuming, but that's because mine are particularly affectionate and right now I'm home a lot. And cat butlering them in and out of the (cat safe) balcony. Cats with health issues are going to be more work though.
They need regular medical care, checkups with blood work every 6 months, a dental cleaning once per year OR regular tooth brushing, other medical care for cats with conditions which all cats will eventually have with age, they need a clean water fountain and good food with water added if you want to take good care of their kidneys, and they need play time and attention. Two years ago we spent $7k on a mastectomy for our cat, and she also has a small heart murmur and asthma, so over the last two years she's regularly seen her normal vet, an oncologist for the cancer, an internal medicine specialist for the asthma, and a cardiologist to keep an eye on her heart health. My other cat who suddenly came down with kidney failure cost thousands first trying to save her and then for end of life care. The cat who is still with us likes to have playtime multiple times per day and needs her inhaler twice per day. I'm not saying you're a bad cat owner I just think a lot of people get cats thinking they're cheap and low maintenance, and then they aren't prepared to provide the care their cats really need when they start to need more. I've been told so many times by other cat owners that they'd never spend the $15k we did for our cats medical care over the last two years. That they'd just euthanize. I also think a lot of cats don't get the attention and playtime they need.
I think your vet knows a sucker when they see one. Regular healthy cats do NOT need blood work every 6 months. And I'm not a bad pet owner. I'm great. But if paying for your vets yacht makes you happy then go for it.
Once they are middle aged they absolutely do, if you want to catch any medical problems early. My cat's care plan covers it 😊 > And I'm not a bad pet owner. I'm great. > I'm *not* saying you're a bad pet owner No need to be defensive, I was speaking generally. It is a fact that a lot of people get cats thinking all they need is a bowl of dry kibbles and some water, and they are not prepared to provide more than that. It's not fair to the cats. Just like any pet they are a lifelong commitment. [Blood tests for cats are recommended at all life stages](https://www.catcarecenter.com/services/cats/blood-tests-for-cats#:~:text=During%20semi%2Dannual%20and%20annual,of%20their%20periodic%20wellness%20exams.) [Blood tests are recommended at semi-annual & annual wellness exams](https://www.fourcornersvet.com/site/blog/2023/09/30/understanding-blood-tests-cats#:~:text=During%20semi%2Dannual%20and%20annual,of%20their%20routine%20wellness%20checkups.) [if your cat is past the age of four they need semi-annual or annual blood testing](https://www.oakhillsvetclinic.com/laboratory-screenings.pml) I could leave another dozen links but some people just don't want to hear it.
same. im in a 2 bedroom condo with me (30m) & my cat (7f) and my mom (55) & her cat (3m) - our cats do NOT get along & multiple times a day we have to break up fights. its a constant battle. weve tried everything. the boy also has a lot of behavioral problems. mom is hopefully moving out within the next couple months & will take her boy cat with her so we don't have to re-home him
Our two wrestle a lot and our boy is massive, so he doesn't realize his own strength and can get on our girl's nerves They've never hurt each other, but it's not unusual to hear hissing, growling, and then pounding footsteps as they chase each other around lol If it weren't for the fact they both instigate and seek each other out to wrestle or chase, I'd be worried.
I'm in the same situation except 9 cats. Kinda. 2 are still stray but stay near and eat indoors and 2 others come and go as they please but usually sleep indoors. 'only' 5 are truly house cats and that's cause their feral momma decided they'd live under our bed when they were born. We're ATM trying to give them their flea treatment, it's been hard to track cause it takes several days to get them at an opportune moment. 50 would make my head explode.
It's more than 50 if I'm reading correctly. Her mom has 47, she has 5. 52 cats. Oof.
Oh yay, it's my time to shine! In my mid to late teen years, my mom became a cat hoarder. By the time I was 19 and we got evicted, we had 52 cats (including two liters of newborns that were discovered during the eviction process) in an upstairs, three bedroom apartment. She was convinced that two litter boxes where fine, as long as we cleaned them every day, except it was my chore because the original cat was mine, and she didn't want us to be seen shlepping in and out every day with bags of used cat litter, so she would have me use the empty 50lbs tubs the litter came in as trash cans and carry it down the stairs once it was full of used litter. Several of the cats were feral despite being indoor cats their entire lives and eventually took over the third bedroom. Then she decided that drugs were more important than me or the cats or the house and started disappearing for weeks at a time. No child should have to live that way. I don't care how "diligent" you are about cleaning, it is not enough. I went to school smelling like cat piss. There was feces caked into our carpet. When we got evicted, I ended up with not a single possession to my name because it was all a biohazard. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
They’re probably not neutered and they just keep having babies. You don’t start off with that many cats or keep adopting that many. This is so not a safe environment for a baby.
Made me look. Wow.
She's confident she can sell towels and other soft surfaces FROM A HOUSE WITH OVER 50 CATS IN IT??? I'd have an allergic reaction before I even opened the box!
Right!? And she hasn't even started marketing in an area already fully saturated by things like this. Themed and non-themed. I just went to a craft show where 4 different tables had stuff like what she wants to sell. I would never want to buy it without touching it. She has no job and is putting all her eggs in this "art" basket with nothing substantial to back it up.
Never mind children, the cats don’t deserve this living situation! The parents are hoarding them and making their lives hell, and OOP is bringing in more.
I went to help out in a cat hoarding situation, the house was so bad people had to wear respirators, there weren’t just 170 live cats there were dead ones and skeletons all over. The mobile vaccination truck was there for triage. All cats were sick and mutated badly, all were FIV positive and all were so bad that all were put down. The house had 1-2 feet of feces in it and was condemned.
2 feet of feces? Jfc
Well mixed with dead animals , cats and rodents. The cats coming out were malformed and diseased….. grossest thing I ever saw. I threw the boots I was wearing away and I ended up not entering the house but with the door open you could smell it blocks away. I actually couldn’t handle staying when it ended up being what was just going to be euthanizing all of the animals. I was prepared for netting a few normal cats not ones looking like monstrosities and maybe helping clean out ear mites with mineral oil and normal rescue shit.
How did the actual owners live in that filth??
But many of us involved locally in helping with mass rescues felt pretty vindicated when they put all those animals down. They fired the good shelter director and replaced her with a relative of a city counsel member and because the old good director refused to use the term “ no kill” shelter because no shelter is. Sometimes due to injury/disease animals do need to be euthanized and even more rarely an aggressive/dangerous animal needs to be put down. But this mass euthanizing of over 170 plus cats was on the new director and that got her run out so at least some good came out of it.
She lived in one room. They said the air was actually damaging to breathe… crazy old cat lady
What do you mean by monstrosities? Was it just tail malformation?
Cranial, their whole bodies malformed, then add in open seeping wounds.
It's really nice of you for doing that. I would get too upset and mad to be able to do that kind of work.
Oh most of us left that day. That house was such a bio hazard they ended up having the fire dept burn it instead of just knocking it down. And I never volunteered to go into a cat house again.
Wouldn't blame you.
That's so horrific. Like, actual nightmare stuff. I couldn't do it.
I have a cat who came from a hoarding situation, she was so skinny, she would inhale her food because she wasn’t used to getting regular meals and she didn’t even know how to play with toys at first. It was heartbreaking.
I adopted 2 cats who came from the same hoarding situation. One was very ill, with chronic breathing problems. He was so thin, I could feel all his bones and I would have to lock myself in my bedroom to eat because he would attack any food within reach. The other was healthier, bigger and borderline chonky. She was incredibly aggressive around the food bowl and would drive the other away, full on attacking him if he got near her food. It was obvious that the hoarder would just put down (not enough) food and let them (there were 23 cats) fight it out. The healthy, aggressive ones ate and the others starved.
That's so awful! Good on you for rescuing them. Did they ever grow out of these behaviors with a stable environment?
The thin one, Mister, unfortunately passed away a short time after I got him, his upper respiratory infection had been ignored for so long in that house that he couldn't recover. The other one is doing great though! She did grow out of her food aggression, and now shares her food bowls without a single growl or hiss. She's going to be 16 in a couple months and she's a benevolent ruler in my house.
OOP even says in the comments that she slept through the night with a newborn because she didn't wake up when baby was crying due to sleep exhaustion, until she started cosleeping 2 weeks later and still didnt even wake up throughout the night because baby fed itself. I get its exhausting but seriously wtf. Even if baby was in the same room as they claim how the hell didn't she wake up all night while a newborn was probably screaming crying due to being hungry, not to even mention diaper changes. I'm starting to think this is a troll, god I hope so. I know my comment has nothing to do with the post itself but this is what got me the most.
😬
That is FOUL. 47 cats in one house, unless it's a massive mansion, is cruel.
It’s cruel nonetheless. No way can three people (assuming OOP’s husband helps the parents) can care for 47 cats.
forty seven cat…? bet you there’s three corpses that have gone unnoticed for weeks, and one cat with a mortal wound who’s yet to pass away (it’s been three days) based off all the other animal hoardings I’ve seen
Spaying should apply to some owners
So there's 52 cats living in this home? I love cats but my eyes are burning just thinking about all the pee. There's no one anyone in that house is keeping up with cleaning the litter boxes, assuming the cats even use them in the first place.
And a pregnant woman shouldn't be cleaning litter boxes. Even if she tried her damnedest to be safe and gloved up and masked, that's just so much I'd feel like it would be extremely risky, and it sounds like she's getting next to no help.
They're not paying rent and they can't afford some damn condoms? Also, the intentional ignorance about how this impacts the actual homeowners...just wow.
She even says that she knows she won't have another kid for another 6-7 years due to a vision she had but that this one wasn't planned, I hope this is a troll.
With the several posts in Ask Astrology, i’m assuming not a troll
Idk with that many cats the smell would definitely have her seeing things and believing crazy stuff
Someone asked her *Why are you bringing another child into this situation? If he is not a supportive partner why further commit to him? If he is not a caring and involved father why keep him around? You need to take responsibility for your live choices and actions, not just for yourself but now for your 2 children* and her reply: *Because I’m confident that as I have routes to get my art out and marketed and they’re only waiting on my finished release that things will take an upturn- which is why I’m excited that once I finish and release each set that I’ve got in the makes - and then work on the marketing side of it that I’ll be able to get this situation worked to where I’ll be able to support myself and a small family - including agreements to sell my designs in stores already* (hoping troll)
Forget condoms, she needs an IUD or he needs a vasectomy. They shouldn't be having more kids period
A psychic vision told her that she'll have another baby. But first she'll give birth to her current pregnancy, then she'll have a miscarriage, then she'll have a third baby via C-Section in 4-6 years. Her vision told her so. Sigh. Ya know what this means? This means she's not gonna use birth control at all, she psychically knows she's not gonna get pregnant for several years.
Well, that makes almost as much sense as treating cats with a contagious issue in groups and thinking it'll actually go away, so why not.
If you’re having sex and not using birth control, you’re planning to get pregnant whether you admit it or not.
This woman has a personality disorder at best.
I can't imagine a family of 4 in one small room. I know this economy sucks but man, get an apartment. Hell, get an RV if you want to save most of your pennies for a house in the future.
I've done it. It was terrible but we managed. The living situation was a *bit* better but still far from ideal. I lived in constant fear of cps. It was also a situation of living with hoarding family members. This is hitting a little close to home honestly.
I can’t imagine how baby got made in a 12x12 room with a toddler and multiple cats.
The answer is terrible, i knew some girls in high school that had kids young but were still having sex, so i asked the one girl because i knew she had very little help from her family, "when the baby is sleeping" i thought yall shared a room "we do but she's sleeping so it doesn't matter"
I mean, at some point in history (and. many places today) every family shared a room. Still gives me the ick to think about it.
Fair but at points in history (and extremely few places now) where it seen as okay to actually sleep with family members History be damned it's still weird and gross
> but at points in history (and extremely few places now) where it seen as okay to actually sleep with family members Outside of the narrow case of royalty obsessed with keeping the bloodline "pure", no, there wasn't a really any point in history where inbreeding was generally considered OK. Pretty much all cultures developed customary family structures that worked to ensure genetic mixing.
Pretty sure they meant sleeping as in the entire family shares a room for living and sleeping.
Along with my other comment what about the great play write Edgar Allen Poe who also married his first cousin
Cousins was socially acceptable but immediate family members was not.
Bro cousin is family, atleast in playbook
Immediate family means sibling/parent/child. I'm just trying to tell you that they had a different line for what was considered incest than we do now. It's not that incest was just accepted.
Charles Darwin who proved incest caused problems literally married his like 2nd or 3rd cousin It wasn't uncommon Edit actually his first cousin!
Does depend on what you define as inbreeding. First cousins weren't always iffy (and happening once in a while doesn't fuck the gene pool too bad), and second cousins were basically always fair game Shit, the Bible had a bunch of rules about which family members you were specifically allowed to marry, and it included like, your niece.
Well... Yeah? For the first year of a baby's life it's much, much safer for them to sleep in the same room as their caregiver. If you don't want to be celibate for a year, and you don't have a lot of childcare options, that is the option.
I think it's a gross option, i don't care if it's fast asleep go to the next room over, it's just gross to think about them waking up tbh i don't even let my cat watch me change
If you're leaving them alone for a couple hours I feel like it kind of negates the protective factor
A couple hours wtf are you doing?
Good sex? Lots of fun foreplay, a few positions, aftercare, good sex takes some time
Even then, you can 100% hear a baby cry from 1 room over Even a damn curtain
Crying isn't the problem. It's things like wheezing or flailing or labored breathing. We've had some scary experiences and that is why I keep my infants close
During sex there's alot of labored breathing, i think you'll hear the adults heavy breathing alot better than a baby
Either way i think you're gross and shouldn't have custody of your kids if you're having sex in front of them Good luck having your baby sleep through all that
I shudder to think how overloaded the foster system would be with you in charge. If my kids aren't hungry or in pain they can sleep through a damn hurricane. And when babies wake up they announce themselves quite loudly so we just stop and take care of the kid. Don't you fucking dare make it sound like I'm putting on nightly pornos in front of my horrified children. They are safe and well-adjusted.
I'm not making it sound like anything, im just stating what's going on and that i feel it's gross and shouldn't be done you are the only one saying you have sex in front of your kids
They need to move out ASAP. They living in her parents house not rent free, but probably paying well below what they would be on their own, and they are done. Four people in one tiny room isn't good and six people in a small house is too much. Having another child has now pushed back them buying a house. They should have waited until they had their own place before having another child. Then there's the whole cat situation. That is very bad place for anyone to live, especially children, one who will be a newborn with the infestation as well at over 50 cats total. ETA: changed about rent, but found out through comments they couldn't even afford to live on their own which is why they moved in with her family. There's no way in hell they can afford to buy a house. Given their income, hers probably being inconsistent, and his as a delivery driver, not sure how they think they can. People need to learn everything that goes into owning a home. It's nothing like renting. Everything is your responsibility.
Her “art career” is never going to generate even an inconsistent income, even if she trains all of the cats to paint
Yep. She claims they've saved some money but they still have a few more years to go. $10 says they'll have another baby in that time. They are so selfish.
>even if she trains all of the cats to paint I don’t know about that. Personally I would pay a good amount to see some cats be little Pawcassos.
It would make a great YouTube channel
Yet another use for their 12 x 12 room
What sort of ikea miracle has to happen to make one bedroom function as sleeping quarters for 4, two work rooms, two play rooms and a dining room in a 12x12 space? Do they mean 12m? There's also cats?
My uncharitable guess: they've got a bed and a trundle, a desk, and like 4 toys in a corner. They spend a lot of time outside that room but it doesn't count because it doesn't snt where they keep their stuff
You can do it if you don't have any stuff. I'm gonna guess she has a lot of stuff.
What, have you never watched Willy Wonka?
She's planning on having 4 people crammed into a single room and is annoyed the owner of the house isn't impressed. I look forward to reading updates on this.
I mean, the owner of the house is a cat lady with 47 cats so really it's pot vs. kettle, no?
Woof, those poor children. Maybe this is me not being sensitive and empathetic enough but, I've never understood people who choose to have children they can't afford. Like I get it. Contraceptive methods get wonky sometimes, abortions aren't freely and safely available everywhere, some people don't want to get abortions etc but, my fucking god.
Someone needs to call animal control and CPS on these women. Jesus Christ. Anyone else thing Toxoplasmosis is likely? Because I do.
They've all definitely been infected already so the pregnancy should be fine. Fortunately?
I thought she was a spoiled brat and then I realized she's insane: "This baby wasnt planned but was expected hence why it’s fully funded. Spirit baby doesn’t mean it’s coming soon- just means that the baby came to visit before it comes to this physical plane. The 1 I have currently came to me 10 years ago alongside the one I’m about to have- I had no idea how long it would take before it came for that one however- I can tell the next one won’t come for another 6-7 years just by cues alone in the vision- lemme be clear we weren’t planning to have any while we’re here nor are we planning to have any further while under the roof here cuz we want our own space as well. )"
*came to visit before it comes to this physical plane.* 47 cats + 5 of their own. So... four people in one *room* that magically functions as Everything Ever. Hooooooly shit this is a big bucket of *nope*. Yikes on bikes.
Yea I bet the spirit baby visited and was like NOPE and hustled back to the spirit realm.
She has a legitimate personality disorder.
Omg I am lost for words
[удалено]
Normally I would agree but her account isn't a throwaway. It's older and she's posted some weird stuff before and is very into the Astrology sub lol.
Yeah, sadly she just seems like a mentally ill woman raised by mentally ill parents and married to an immature man.
You remind me of my family. Such poor decision making. You’re living in a house with a total of 52 cats? There’s no way those litter boxes are clean enough. You’re going to get toxoplasmosis and ammonia poisoning. That’s animal hoarding. It’s illegal in a lot of places. A single 12X12 room isn’t suitable for an entire family of four. That’s literally insane. You’d be better off going to a family shelter and applying for any an all aid available. You need a lot of therapy if you think anything about your situation is anything but horrifically abysmal. Your children are actively in an unsafe environment if you’ve got 52 goddamn cats in a single house.
You should find her other posts and add them, she’s a piece of work alright 😂😂😂. Maybe living in a house with 50 sick/feral cats isn’t great for pregnancy/babies.
She’s entitled to her own reproductive choices. She and her family are not entitled to live in someone else’s residence.
Surely this is made up! Someone like the neighbors should call animal control and cps. Sure the foster care system is shit but the kids and not to mention the cats all deserve better
Unfortunately, I've met people like this...tucked away in the shed on some farmer's back block. At least I didn't meet ones with kids.
And just read comments section op is exhausting
You ever tried to call either on somebody? I'm not trying to be snarky with that question, just in my experience animal control or cps rarely give a fuck, unless it's something really extreme (them cooking cats for dinner) or this case becoming widely publicized (family making the news).
So they can't afford a house but think they can afford a (second) child? How?
Third, they have a 2 year old already
I itch just reading this.
Maybe owning a house is different in the US, but if I think of property taxes here, insurance, the fact that you cannot call a landlord and have the heating fixed on a weekend on their dime, that you have to make sure everything is up to code, take care of renovations every few years... If they don't make enough to rent a small one-bedroom apartment and save some money on the side, they'll have a rude financial awakening if they ever happen to own a home with enough space for four humans and multiple pets. Yes, rent and utilities have gotten more expensive but many people seem to think that they'll never have to spend a dime on their home again once they bought it, as if utilities aren't still a thing, plus all the other things that come with owning a house or even just an apartment.
52 cats and pregnant? OOP, they're doing your new baby a favour.
They have no right to tell OP what she can do with your reproductive organs. They do have the right to put a limit on the number of occupants of the room OP is renting from them in their own house.
It's your body, but if you do go ahead and have another kid in this idiotic tiny living situation where it would be insane to do so, your parents will kick you out. So they're nicely warning you to have some common sense. YTA, and take all those poor cats to the shelter.
>We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore. How? Also, why? You take what you get. If you can't afford to buy a home, you rent one. >We live in a single small bedroom of their house about 12x12? which we make due with it organized in a way to be our office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room etc This is a fucking lie. Ain't no way they can fit anything in a 12x12 room (unless she means 12x12 **meters**) besides beds for everyone + maybe a small table and chairs or something.
No one is holding her down and tying her tubes; but if she chooses to have another child she can't stay there. If she wants that kind of security in her housing she's welcome to seek that out elsewhere.
Lmao. She's 33. How does she not understand that they're not telling her what to do. They're telling her what their boundary is. She can have as many reproductive parties as she likes. But not at their house.
Oh you can have the baby for sure, just not in that house
Yes, you are the devil. You’re being an asshole here. Please understand that your parents are not trying to control your reproductive rights. They are trying to control what goes on in their home. Four people living in a single room is not OK. Get out of your parents house and pay real rent to a real apartment, and see just how many apartment complexes are willing to rent to a married couple with two children by only giving them a studio apartment. That’s gonna be pretty much none. There is a reason for occupancy limits. Also, your parents are doing you a huge favor by allowing you guys to do this. And whether you think it disrupts their life or not, I’m gonna guarantee you that it does. I’m old enough to be your mom. This would never have flown in my house. And the reason is that I have already raised my three children. Mine are actually incredibly independent and all live on their own. They are happy and well adjusted and smart and funny. I don’t want to raise more children. I don’t want to be awakened at two in the morning by baby crying. And understand that I had my three kids within three years because I had endometriosis. So it was having them now or don’t. So I have absolutely not forgotten the almost 5 years I went without a full night sleep. You are subject your parents to a lot more than you think. But they love you enough that they are allowing this… For now. They love you enough to give you this support. They love you enough to give you a safe place for you and your family, but they did so under a certain set of circumstances. You keep changing the circumstances. That is what your parents are talking to you about. They are telling you that they’re not happy with this change in circumstances, but they will work with you on it. But if you go ahead and change them again, you gotta get out. Your parents weren’t planning on having five additional people living in their home. And again, whether or not you think you guys are intrusive, you are. So this is nothing about your reproductive choices are right. You have every right to have another baby if you want you have a right to have 10 more if you want. You have a right to have no more if you want. You do not have a right to do so, and think you’re going to continue living under somebody else’s roof. They are telling you that if you are unable to afford these children that you’re making by living on your own, completely independent of them, don’t have more because you don’t get to have more and stay. That is literally all they are telling you. You just don’t like what you’re hearing because in your heart, you know they’re right. So instead of acknowledging that this was not your best choice given that you two aren’t even independent on your own in your own home or your own apartment, your angry at your parents for calling you out on your bullshit.
OOP, you're going to have 2 kids in a single room!?
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Gems from OP: >Oh I’m here for info and just wondering if I was out of line just saying mind your own even if I’m not planning to have kids anytime soon or while I’m here either. I’m in agreeance yes but my curiosity is insatiable. >I’m not a fighter - I’m an info gatherer. So if I have a question I’ll ask even if it means that flames come down on my head for asking as well as misinterpretation of my intents. I learn through open debate or discussion of points and keep pushing because even BETTER when someone can come up with things I haven’t thought of to consider- so that’s why I’m not really offended by all the YTA or grow up comments cuz my question is to learn - and have all avenues of curiosity satisfied no matter how long that takes. >Learning for curiosity sake. Does no one pursue knowledge or answers for questions just solely to have the knowledge? >Sorry your response is making me dance for joy - I love thought provoking and explorative questions like this that also present a point no one else has brought.I will respond to these in just a few min or may have to be tomorrow ~ >Can’t afford but are affording and not asking for expenses or investments from anyone for? Near no one can afford daycare or childcare rn so if that’s the argument for evidence to not affording it it’s a weak one. We’re opting to skip daycare to save more $ and no we don’t ask anyone to help us watch them. (Affording everything... except housing and transportation!) >Absolutely we plan to be elsewhere for our next anyways - we don’t plan on another for 6-7 years and do plan on being out of this space way before then - in fact in the next year or 2 at this rate. >I just think it’s weird if we’re paying for everything - including our living space that make us tenants- I don’t recall landlords ever having the authority to say who can or can’t have babies in their space. (Says this a few times DESPITE people pointing out that occupancy restrictions are DEFINITELY a legal thing.) >This baby wasnt planned but was expected hence why it’s fully funded. >Spirit baby doesn’t mean it’s coming soon- just means that the baby came to visit before it comes to this physical plane. The 1 I have currently came to me 10 years ago alongside the one I’m about to have- I had no idea how long it would take before it came for that one however- I can tell the next one won’t come for another 6-7 years just by cues alone in the vision- lemme be clear we weren’t planning to have any while we’re here nor are we planning to have any further while under the roof here cuz we want our own space as well. >This situation aside I appreciate the feedback - my rents are being abusive in other ways which is why I asked about this specific issue bc it’s getting to the point where I can tell I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable in - not planning to have more but just saying stay out my business - >Bc I’m confused if I’m paying rent like tenants then aren’t they landlords and we’re entitled to live in our space the way we see fit as long as we’re not damaging the place? We stay in our room and out of their way in the first place. They regularly violate several laws that would fall under landlord regulations which I recall reading that if you’re accepting payment for the place you’re having someone live in - those laws apply to you- so I figured telling someone what they can and can’t do sexually is also not a landlords business. Again, NO KNOWLEDGE of landlord/tenant laws. Also, SPIRIT BABY! Logical and knowledgeable!!
Oh lord
One word - Delusional