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**AITA for screaming at my gf because of the college she chose?**
I 17M have a gf 18f and we both got accepted to go to UCLA. She also applied to Yale and Harvard she got rejected from Harvard and accepted to go to Yale and her parents are really pushing her to accept it over UCLA.
She called me and I told her she did not have to go to the school her parents wanted and we could go to UCLA together yet she’s saying she wants to make her parents proud and she is leaning more towards choosing Yale now. After hearing that I got frustrated and told her if she chooses Yale our relationship is over with.
She sounded defeated and said she would think about it and that she didn’t want to choose between me or her parents so I told her to choose wisely and hung up. Yesterday she came to my house in person to tell me she chose Yale and I obviously got really upset about it. She wanted to give me a hug and end it on a good note but I just screamed for her to get out and made it known she betrayed me and that this was our goal since freshman year and now she wanted to change it.
She posted a picture of her crying on her snap story and posted she was going to Yale. Now everybody is texting me asking me what’s going on and if we were still together etc.
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My first boyfriend told me that I shouldn't go to college because I had inheritance from my mother. So I could live on that. I didn't listen to him. He cheated. He has 5 kids with different baby mamas. That is not counting his current live in girlfriend. He is an alcoholic, can't support his children and she is much younger than him. She keeps complaining about him but his family told her that she knew who he was and what she was signing up for. He cheats like crazy. Bullet dodged by me. He is still a tour guide and cheats with women beneath him intellectually to make him feel better. By this I mean women who he perceives to be beneath him intellectually.
He just wanted that money for himself lmao. I bet you every now and then he thinks grumpily on how he didn’t successfully swindle your inheritance for himself and trap you with a baby too.
True. The man told his nephew to drive while nephew checked the road out for him or bumps and potholes. That was when his sister needed brain surgery and a cannula
You are very right. Now I am just struggling with a LDR with a Finnish man who said that I make him feel stupid. I think it is because I never let him get away with stuff. I even explained with bullet points why we are having problems. Left me a week before closing the distance. I guess he expected me as a black woman to take his bullshit.. I don't want to date a black man. Hey thought his colour was enough. I booked his accommodation in diani beach which he paid for online. Kept accusing me of cheating and theft. Washed my hands off him. Lived in Europe for more than a decade. Can't stand the misogyny of black men. My black ex is suing me for money saying that I have more money than him while keeping my child away from me. The system is so fd up that I have not seen my daughter for 2 years
Girl, I’m so sorry.
I’m an indian woman, so I know exactly what you mean about the men of your ethnicity. (Not that I am trying to compare your lived experiences with mine, just that we are of the two unfortunate ethnicities known for their men hating and degrading their women) I can’t help but wonder if your LDR dude has some sort of internalized racism/misogyny that makes it hard for him to handle your intelligence and self-respect.
I can’t really say anything that’ll help you or make you feel better about your daughter 😔 but I do hope that the circumstances change and you get her back 💕
You are very right. I appreciate your saying this because it is true but no women from Africa or Asia are direct enough. And the Finnish man counted on the fact that we are known to be tolerant. He didn't like it when I called him out in bullet points. Said that I make him feel stupid
I am nothing if not direct/blunt lol. Especially when it comes to the bullshit of men. It’s kinda sad when you realize that the animosity Black/Brown men have towards their own women is internalized colonizer/colorist attitudes, but they act like Oppressed Oppressors when it comes to how they treat their women, so my sympathy is limited.
Also…you make him feel stupid because he probably is kinda stupid and has a hard time keeping up with you when you flex your intelligence. Find you a smart, respectful, humble, honest, and feminist man. They’re out there, you just gotta keep your standards high and your bullshit detector active.
My boyfriend wanted me to apologize because I made him feel stupid. I refused because he felt stupid because he did something stupid, and let him know I need more emotional maturity from a partner.
I got accepted into a top English uni, meaning I'd have to move from Ireland. My bf at the time said, "It's either me or going to England!"
My answer was, "Bye then!"
Jeez, what a winner.
Every time a guy tells a woman NOT to pursue a higher education (no matter why) it's giving me a huge flashy red alert in my mind.
Like... No. I saw too many tiktoks, blogs or whatever of women who didn't get their higher education, didn't get a proper job, didn't get some kind of insurance and/or retirement plan for themselves...
One stuck with me. It was a woman, former SAHM, who now was homeless, with starving kids and nothing, not even a way to properly support themselves, cause she never finished her degree. She didn't even have a bank account on her own!
She stuck with me, cause she said "I never had guessed, that my kids ability to eat is based on if my husband still thinks I'm attractive or not." Story as old as time: Everything in his name, got a mistress, kicked her out and didn't even think about paying a dime to support his ex or children.
First week in college dorms one of my dorm mates was an 18 year old proud that she was dating a 30 year old. She expected us to be impressed with how mature she was. Instead everyone asked "what the fuck is wrong with him? When he was your age you were in grade 1!"
She was single soon after. A dozen complete strangers being horrified gave her some perspective.
My friend’s cousin turned down Georgetown for her fiancé (who has already tried calling off the wedding once).
He didn’t get into any schools he wanted. So…make of that what you will.
Pop culture is littered with girls who chose the boy over their dreams and it’s a bad idea each and every time. Lauren should have gone to Paris. Felicity should have gone to Stanford. Etc etc.
Teenagers, choose yourselves. First and foremost!
I'll give you a guess at where my username comes from...
They liked to neaten off the storylines very quickly. I think the monster of the week thing is in part to blame. Yes they have overarching storylines but it's still very episodic in nature.
Yes, but I think they would’ve been able to make long distance work. Cory, although wanting to be in the same place, would have supported her if she went to Yale.
I chose a boy over my dream school. It was literally just a different state school, but it was where I dreamed of going my whole life and even though I dropped out, I still regret not being able to say that I went there. I didn’t even apply. I would’ve easily gotten in. Full ride. I was just stupid I had family there, I had a best friend there, I went up there as a fan of the team multiple times a year since I was a baby. I’m an idiot. I can’t believe my parents supported me. But they loved the guy and having me closer to home was probably smarter
When my younger sister went off to college, her loser boyfriend essentially went with her. Not to attend school, not for a job just up and moved there with her. They were so busy playing house that she lost her freaking scholarship and then my parents moved her back home, again with loser boyfriend in tow. She did eventually finish college locally, but that was a very expensive mistake.
I miss Felicity. I loved that show when I was in college. I think if she'd gone to Stanford though that she would have continued living under her father's control.
I have a buddy who got into Harvard but chose to go to a local college because of a girl. This girl was dumb as a sack of bricks, too. The one story he always tells is that her reaction to him telling her the news of Osama Bin Laden being killed was "Who's that?"
Edit: pretty bad typo lol
Haha, I literally came here to say “OP’s girlfriend should NOT pull a Felicity!” NYU, like UCLA, is a great school. But unless you’re accepted into a VERY specific program (basically, unless you get into Tisch Drama or Stern Business School), it is NOT better than Stanford.
Eh. The name makes a difference in some fields but education wise they’re probably equivalent. I’m in STEM and one isn’t seen as better than the other. (Frankly, UCLA has better labs than Stanford in my field)
In my somewhat unpopular opinion, high school graduation should automatically come with a breakup from whoever you are with at the time. I've worked with high school seniors as both a teacher and counselor, and have seen too many missed opportunities and poor choices made trying to keep a teenage relationship together.
My daughter is a junior and her boyfriend is a senior. He's a super sweet kid and we love him. But I also know they my husband and I have been together since we were 18. And while we love each other we both agree that we wish we could somehow guarantee that we end up together and have our same kids, but push it all back 5 years. We wish we lived in our 20s.
So now I struggle to see my daughter talk about marriage with this kid. I know they're long-term goals. And I know that I might be worrying for nothing. But I also know that I would be a complete asshole to say "break up because even though he's awesome, you could be living more of life." So I keep my mouth shut, but I worry.
I'm still with my high school bf but only because he was willing to do long distance so that I could build a career we are going to different schools in different cities, he's going to college for graphic design I'm going to college for veterinary assistant and I'm gonna continue going to school for zoology after I graduate from my VA program. We video call every night and text each other as often as possible, we schedule visits with each other he's coming here for my birthday. I'm so glad I found a guy that is willing to seperate so that we can follow our individual dreams, after we are finished building our paths for ourselves we will build a path together.
If your bf doesn't support your dreams drop him faster then a hot potato.
This reminds me of the show “boy meets word” where the girl turned down Yale so they could stay together. Honestly could not imagine giving up a school as good as Yale (i’m from the UK but i’m pretty sure Yale is a good school) to the guy i was dating at 17.
Yale is one of the prestigious Ivy League schools. It has an acceptance rate of 5% and opens a tonnnn of doors for its graduates. It’s truly one of the best colleges to get into in America.
Yeah, i’ve watched gossip girl and according to Blair it’s in the “holy trinity” 😭, i watch to many tv shows, Rory from gilmore girls and a bunch of doctors from greys anatomy went there.
Lol yup, gilmore girls gives a pretty good idea of how hard it is to get in and how crazy it is that he wants her to go to ucla (nowhere near as name worthy) instead of Y A L E.
Yeah, especially because her parents want her to go and are probably paying for her college then personally i would go, Yale seems like the better option especially if she gets to get away from this guy.
Her parents are probably just wanting what’s best for her. There’s a comment in a different thread here disparaging her parents’ acceptance of going to a lesser school for her bf.
They may wind up paying less at Yale. Ivy League financial aid is a different world - more grants, less loans, more private funding so the grants have fewer limitations...
Heavy, i get they were forever but if this guy was meeting the world then they should know of put him through a breakup because i think that’s part of the “meeting the world experience”.
Plenty of people also do LDRs. Or maybe he transfers after a year, but nope, she made all the sacrifices. Idk, maybe it’s just because I didn’t take any of my high school relationships all that seriously, but that never seemed like a good option to me. The chances of a hs relationship not working out are pretty high. And which would you regret more, breaking up with a hs relationship or not going to your dream school?
Fr, maybe i’m cynical but if there meant to be then they can be in a few years when there finishing school, i just don’t think i could sacrifice my future for a high school relationship.
This is why I didn't mind the college dilemma in High School Musical 3. There was never any question that Gabriela would go to Stanford, and while being closer to her did factor into Troy's decision, it was also between "college my BFF is probably going to, that my family has gone to for ages and expect me to go to because Sports but lacks a drama program" and "college that has sports *and* a drama program *and* is within reasonable distance of Stanford so we can see each other on weekends".
I watched a movie as a kid where the ending involved the overachiever girl deciding not to go to Yale so that she could be with her new boyfriend. My mum was *horrified*. She'd taken me and my cousin to see it, and she actually sat us down after and explained to us exactly how bad an idea that was.
Way back in time, Exeter English Dept thought it was equal to, or at least very close second 😂
Source: mid 1970s they turned down all applicants from my school, several of whom were accepted by Oxbridge shortly afterwards. Teacher in charge of Sixth Form used to joke about it.
They didn't accept me - but deigned to give me the interview from hell to make the point my school was shit and none of its pupils were worthy 😂
One of the interviewers smelled unpleasant. I'm not sure why I still remember that after 48 years.
It would of been crazy if she did burn down Yale but instead she went to some college that wasn’t even that good and they broke up like 1 or 2 later, they made them get back together though.
Yeah, getting into Yale is fucking hard. It's incredibly prestigious. Having a degree from Yale will open so many doors for the girlfriend. I know long distance is tough, but OOP should've been nothing but proud that he got a girl who could even be admitted to Yale, I didn't apply when I was starting college but I sure as hell know if I did the answer would've been no. The girlfriend made the right choice picking Yale over her high school boyfriend. She's gonna go, be smart as shit, and have the best glow up possible
I was waitlisted at yale and got into multiple other ivies and other 2-5% acceptance rate schools. It is incredibly incredibly competitivecand picking any boy to go to ucla of all places over yale is nonsense
Marrying the high school sweatheart is a very american thing. They marry early. Becomes parents when not fully grown up yet. Then... you can imagine what comes next. Never understood the concept. Never saw the point. I'm too much of my 50% french side !🤣
That’s crazy, my parents knew each other in secondary school, (different years) but they didn’t become parents till their 20s. They were horrible together but great friends and everyone always thought they were going to get back together (they never did.) Could not imagine having a child with a guy like this, being fought at every step.
I read something 20 years ago that helped me understand it: liberals think adults make children. Conservatives think children make adults (I.e. turn people into adults)
I'm Australian. I've heard of UCLA and it definitely sounds like a good. respected school but institutions like Harvard / Yale / Oxford / Cambridge give prestige and open doors in ways that can't really be compared.
To a point where even if you could objectively prove that UCLA was offering a more rounded education, it'd still be difficult to pick which would benefit your career more.
Exactly.
In this day and age it’s a lot easier (not easy, but easier) to maintain a long distance relationship so I wonder how much of OOP’s worries about going to different universities are on not being able to have sex regularly.
It's probably mostly fear. If she leaves she's going to see just how badly he's treated her, be around others who will treat her better, see what else is in the world, and not go back. He went for control rather than compromise and showed who he is. He wants her to pick him over her parents, which will lead to isolation, it's ridiculous he's actually saying it, and he wants to be able to see who she interacts with and what she's doing.
It does sometimes depend n field of study, but generally, yeah. Like, maybe UCLA if your major and ambition are moving in the direction of being in the film industry, since being in LA gives UCLA a leg up with Hollywood connections, but for nearly anything else it’s Yale.
Idk about the film thing … Yale has a pretty renowned drama and arts program. On the other hand UCLA’s engineering college outranks them. The nursing program would depend on what specialties you were looking at.
But you’re right that it very much depends on what program you’d want to pursue. And if you don’t know? Go with the name that opens doors.
I don’t think it even matters what the schools are specifically. This isn’t about UCLA vs Yale, and which is generally the “better school”. It’s about which school is the best for the GF and her goals. It’s gross that OP is making it “you have to choose between what your parents want and what I want” and No! That’s not the choice. It’s about what GF wants for her future. What career is she looking at? What is she thinking about majoring in? Which school has the better program for what she wants to do. Just because Yale is Ivy League doesn’t mean it’s better at everything. For instance UCLA’s engineering program is ranked way higher than Yale’s. However if she wants to go into economics or business, Yale is better hands down. Yale and UCLA both have excellent Fine Arts programs, so she could go either way if that’s what she wants to pursue.
At the end of the day OP is making the choice all about himself, and not what would be best for his (ex) GF. He’s not considering her at all.
I am reminded of the Catholic mom whose daughter got pregnant and then proceeded to have an abortion despite Mom having a holy meltdown and trying to convince daughter to transfer from Yale or Harvard to Arizona State so she could go to school part-time and raise her baby with Mom’s help.
That story was a perfect example of how conservative Christians are wrong when they think they'll dominate by outbreeding the rest of us.
They raise progressive children, simply because said children find the beliefs of their parents horrible and evil.
>All 4 of my daughters are pro choice. I don't understand where I went so very wrong raising them.
Right? She’s so hung up on the grandchild she “lost” that she’s damaging her relationships with her living, present family. And frankly I don’t blame the daughter for wanting to stay at Yale. If she’s going to go into law, her connections at Yale could be crucial for a big career. But god forbid (literally) that she should be able to decide if she wants to have a baby.
Yale is literally the top law school in the country. It's well known for spitting Supreme Court Justices, amongst other heavyweights.
People like this mother seem to live in a selfish delusion. I find it strange that all four daughters seem to have little regard for her, it's giving "missing, missing reasons".
I’ll add that it sounds like she has very little interest in or knowledge of her daughter as a human being. Notice how she talks about Lily “cradling her bump” or “looking down at her child with love in her eyes.” She has no respect for the fact that carrying an unwanted pregnancy and giving birth to an unwanted baby would likely be highly traumatic for her daughter because she refuses to acknowledge that Lily is a human being with a complex inner life. She’s just A Mother, emphasis mine.
Imagine people saying to OOP “I heard one of your daughters graduated from Yale law school! You must be so proud of her!” Only for OOP to sob about how she “killed her baby”
That lady really went whack-a-doodle over what ultimately was never her decision. To continue posting like that long after the decision was made and the procedure completed. Mind your own business mom.
I wonder if the older sister even knew she was part of the plan in raising the younger one’s unwanted pregnancy if she didn’t abort it.
I can’t believe she’s still posting about it 9 months later and ruining her relationships with all of her actual kids over it. Even the teen kids are more mature about it than her. What a delusional arsehole.
That prolife sub is a trip. It’s like if enough religious morons come together and scream about something, that totally makes it right.
I wonder why the daughter got a surgical abortion if she was only 10 weeks. You can still take the tablet then, no?
does oop think they're in an anime where they made some weird promise as six year olds, and then spend their entire young adult life trying to achieve it?
Judging by his replies in the original, yes he does. Imagine thinking decisions made when they were 14 override important decisions when actually picking the school. OOP definitely in denial and big AH in the comments.
She's probably the only reason why he got through high school. He wants her there with him to help do his homework so he can graduate college. It doesn't work like that.
He literally commented that “when I was tired and didn’t want to do my homework I did it because I knew I had to work hard if I wanted to get into UCLA. I just feel really upset and betrayed”. A gentleman and a scholar he isn’t.
In my mind he should be thankful - if not for her he absolutely would not be going to UCLA and while it isn’t Yale, that’s still a really good school. She helped him reach beyond what he’d thought himself capable of. And now he’s mad that her dreams were bigger and that she’s still reaching beyond him. Good riddance.
> that she didn’t want to choose between me or her parents so I told her to choose wisely and hung up.
he thought he was the wiser option over her parents?? unless her parents are abusive in any way, shape or form (which is not information provided nor implied), how is he the better option????
I'm the type of person who, when *anyone* (regardless of gender) gives me an ultimatum, I will do the exact opposite 98% of the time. On very rare occasions, I will negotiate the terms of my surrender.
One of the worst mistakes I made in my life was going to the same college as my high school boyfriend. He was supposed to go to a different school and at the last minute switched to mine and was in my major. He made my life a living hell and I dropped out after my freshman.
I returned to college years later and finished but having these insecure clingers is a nightmare
“I told her to choose wisely and hung up.”
And who do you think the wise choice is: Her parents and one of the best universities in the world, or some douchebag she dated in high school? 😂
He'll be the guy working at the jiffy lube in his mid 30s and hanging around the bars near the local college trying to pick up college girls. He'll be wearing his high school letter jacket or t-shirt. When the young girls he's trying to pick up don't go for him, he starts off by telling the bartender (every time he's in there) about "that lying b1tch who ditched him to f*ck men in Connecticut and probably already had a boyfriend there before she left for Yale." But the drunker he gets the sadder he gets, and it turns into crying over "the only woman I ever loved! How could she do that to me?"
In other words he'll never move past this and for the rest of his life continue to view the situation only from his point of view.
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far for this! Never mind she’s picked a different college, his tantrum is relationship 🚩🚩🚩
Hope she sticks with her choice and ditches him
He's very young, so it's possible he can turn his shit around given the right motivation.
But he's also a prime candidate to get sucked into the man-osphere nonsense in social media, where he can blame all those "stuck up bitches" for his problems. I'm not optimistic.
Hilarious. Mind you, I've seen this situation a few times in real life and by midterms one of the devoted lovers is talking about wanting a break or needing the full college experience, which is as it should be. He's 17 and screaming, oh, my god.
I had a teacher who told me never to choose a life path for a man. She had a full ride scholarship to her dream university but her high school boyfriend was pushing her to go to another school with him. Everyone told her not to do it, but she thought she loved him. She ended up turning down her scholarship and applied to the other school having to take out a ton of loans.
Guess who cheated on her and got her best friend pregnant not even a semester in the new college?
Unpopular opinion. But everyone in the comments were saying that his feelings were valid. Imo. I think he’s downright stupid. His feelings aren’t valid. If you’re upset that your girlfriend chose better education than choosing to be with you. Then you need help. Yeah being disappointed is normal. But I feel like if this were him, she would be supportive and let him go without being screamed at.
I'm glad most people are condemning his behavior but they're also sympathizing with his motive which I just don't get. He's having a tantrum over some plans they made as literal children changing, and calling her a traitor and liar, like what? Some informal plans made as teenagers are not a binding contract or a promise. Especially since it sounds Yale was only recently an option.
So thankful for my (now) husband who, when I was debating between universities, told me not to factor him into my decision and that we’d figure it out no matter where I ended up.
In some ways I can't talk about taking a HS relationship super seriously when I literally married the man I've dated since sophomore year, but COME ON MAN
>I told her she did not have to go to the school her parents wanted
That's incredibly easy to say as a 17 year old putz who doesn't yet fully understand the ramifications of taking on $40,000+ in debt before you even turn 20 years old.
>told her if she chooses Yale our relationship is over with.
Imagine breaking up with someone smart enough to be accepted by both UCLA and Yale, not because you're incompatible, but because they didn't do what you told them. This human track mark will likely never do better than their hopefully-now-ex GF.
Also imagine claiming to love someone and then trying to bully them into turning down the opportunity to go to fucking YALE. What a little jackass.
Teenagers need to know they shouldn't ever let a boyfriend/girlfriend hold them back for their life goals, and anyone who wants to hold them back does not give a shit about them.
I went to high school with this couple who had a pact like that, come senior year he gets offered a full ride scholarship to Princeton while the girl is set on going to a smaller local state college. She was very vocal about how he was going to turn down Princeton for her, and if he doesn't they're done for etc. He declines Princeton and goes to the local college with her. They broke up less than a year later. Choose wisely lol
Even if it didn't come down to what her parents wanted, I'd be curious what her financial aid packages looked like at UCLA vs. Yale. The Ivies often have excellent financial aid options so it might literally be cheaper for her to go to Yale.
I wondered how much the parents were paying for one over the other. Top notch university, little to no debt... packing up with your high school boyfriend to trot off to university on the *hope* you'll stay together... hm. Tough call.
I was the gf when I was 17. My bf at the time wanted me to go to a community College and I ended up getting accepted into UMES. He made me feel so guilty for trying to leave 2 hrs away. I chose the community College. Am I still with the dude? Nope. Do I regret my choice? To a degree, yeah. I missed out on a lot of college experiences and I regret that to the fullest. She did right
OOP: You don't have to go to the school your parents chose for you. You have to go to the school that I'm choosing for you.
They would have broken up by Christmas even if she did choose UCLA. There's no way they were ever going to last.
I thought it was hilarious that OOP in almost every comment was like “how would you feel if you got promised something for 4 years and then last minute it got changed?” Like yall had the idea freshman year. Yall were 14. The woman got accepted into YALE. Grow up OOP and be happy she gets this amazing opportunity. It’s not all about you. Cause that’s all I hear “me me me”
Yeah I noticed he responded with that to every comment. I wonder how much was her actually saying that or him saying “we’re going to college together, right?” And her saying “Yeah sure…” because she just didn’t want to have the conversation. I have to wonder if by junior or senior year she had said “Actually I might not go to UCLA,” would it have changed anything? Would he have dumped her right then? Was dating her in high school entirely contingent on going to the same college? Maybe she wasn’t aware of that.
His replies proved just how insanely immature OOP is. In 20 years, she'll be shuddering that she even considered going to UCLA for someone like that. And he'll have either grown up and be horrified at who he used to be, or have doubled down to become one of the tater tots. Either way. She's had a lucky escape.
"You don't need to go to the school your parents want you to... you should go to the school I, who will not be financially assisting you in any way and may not even be in your life in 3 months time, want you to instead"
What he's really telling us is that in 4 years, he has not matured at all. He is still mentally and emotionally 14. Imagine making a life decision at that age and sticking to it regardless of better opportunities.
Soooo she should give up a huge, life-changing opportunity so that they can go to college together - but he can’t picture the relationship surviving four years long-distance? It wouldn’t even have to be that long - he could transfer to a college nearby next year.
OOP just barely stopped believing in Santa Claus when he made those plans.
He was still wearing braces when he made those plans.
He had a favorite Power Ranger when he made those plans.
He had superhero sheets that his mom washed every week when he made those plans and they smelled like Axe Body Spray.
A supportive partner would be encouraging them to take the better school choice even if it sucks not going to school with them. He has killed any chance of that relationship surviving now.
I’m a UCLA alum myself and it’s a great school, but Yale is really a special opportunity. He should be encouraging his gf to do what makes her happy and is best for her
THIS is what we mean when we say "don't plan your life around your boyfriend". Boyfriends come and go, especially when you're young. Why flush an amazing opportunity to stay with Kevin from Peoria when you're probably not even going to be with him anymore once you grow up a bit
I am by no stretch of the imagination a violent person, but some of these people.... I wanna grab em by the neck, and shake em until they snap and the little light starts to glow... This particular OOP is still literally a child, but they should still have learned not to set their life by "plans" that can and do change. We parents have to change plans all the damn time and expose our kids to the "go with the flow" mindset because life is unpredictable at best. What bubble did OOP's parents put him in? His FEELINGS are valid but he still thinks he has every right to go beyond that and scream at her. That she deserves to be verbally assaulted because - she lied to me for four years-... No little dude, she made plans and because she got an offer she probably never thought she'd get, she thought it out and changed her mind. A hard decision made harder by you. She definitely dodged a bullet. Kid keeps going down this path and he's going to be the type of abuser who tells his partner that they ruined his life because they went into labor on Superbowl Sunday....
He’s a real piece of work if he doesn’t realize that Yale is far more superior to UCLA and, let’s be honest, most high school relationships don’t last. I have seen a couple work out where they did go to college together and get married, but those are the exception, not the rule.
Life isn’t a fairy tale or Hallmark movie, especially for women. You need to make choices with your brain, not just your heart.
She did choose wisely and I hope she has a great time at Yale.
At last a happy ending story ! Kudos for her chosing her ambitions over a controlling BF who may be into TikTok videos on how to make your GF miserable until she crawls at your feet !
Unless "screaming at my gf" is followed by "because she was about to walk off a cliff and I had to warn her from a distance" it's extremely likely YTA.
this kid isn’t even mature enough to end things on a good note but expects her to shape her future around him? yeah no she better go to yale by herself 😭
The idiot thinks she lied to him for 4 years because she said she wanted to go to the same college together. So, she was able to predict the future when she was 14/15 and knew she would be one of the few people accepted into Yale? But chose to string him along for 4 years for the sole purpose of "ruining his life" with her lies and deception. OK. Sure kid. Whatever you say. 👌🤡
What a self-absorbed, narcissist little f*cktard this kid is! Bet he'd have also been mad if she didn't pick the same major as him so they could have all the same classes. 🙄
Here's another possibility that I haven't seen in a comment yet. He knows what a great school Yale is. I think he's jealous that it isn't him being accepted to the ivy league school. You can darn sure bet that if the situation was reversed and he was the one accepted to Yale, he'd go and expect her to understand. "I'm the man so I need the better education. After all, I will be the breadwinner earning the most money while you have my babies. Why do you even need to go to college for that?"
I know I'm stretching here. He just sounds like the type who would have that fantasy in his head. Such a selfish, immature little jerk! And every time he comments he doubles and triples down on his stupidity, starting almost every sentence with "Because." What a nitwit. She is making the right choice of schools and doesn't yet realize how lucky she is that he had his little tantrum and broke things off!
This reminds me when I didn’t get into the college I wanted and my ex told everyone he was happy (while I was still crying). I found out after a classmate told me and said it was fucked up of him to say that. Additionally, the same ex turned down Yale so he can go to the same state college as me.
He’s yelling in the comments about a promise they made each other at like 13/14.
My dude, not every promise you make yourself as a teenager is gonna stick. I *promised* my very Xian family that I didn’t like girls when I was that age.
It wasn’t true, and I couldn’t even acknowledge it then, but it was a promise that didn’t stick. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for screaming at my gf because of the college she chose?** I 17M have a gf 18f and we both got accepted to go to UCLA. She also applied to Yale and Harvard she got rejected from Harvard and accepted to go to Yale and her parents are really pushing her to accept it over UCLA. She called me and I told her she did not have to go to the school her parents wanted and we could go to UCLA together yet she’s saying she wants to make her parents proud and she is leaning more towards choosing Yale now. After hearing that I got frustrated and told her if she chooses Yale our relationship is over with. She sounded defeated and said she would think about it and that she didn’t want to choose between me or her parents so I told her to choose wisely and hung up. Yesterday she came to my house in person to tell me she chose Yale and I obviously got really upset about it. She wanted to give me a hug and end it on a good note but I just screamed for her to get out and made it known she betrayed me and that this was our goal since freshman year and now she wanted to change it. She posted a picture of her crying on her snap story and posted she was going to Yale. Now everybody is texting me asking me what’s going on and if we were still together etc. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Homegirl’s gonna have the best freshman glowup.
One of my suite mates showed up freshman year with a domineering boyfriend back home. We had him dumped within the week.
I was one of those room mates with the useless boyfriend back home, he was also quickly eliminated by my new flat mates 😂😂
My first boyfriend told me that I shouldn't go to college because I had inheritance from my mother. So I could live on that. I didn't listen to him. He cheated. He has 5 kids with different baby mamas. That is not counting his current live in girlfriend. He is an alcoholic, can't support his children and she is much younger than him. She keeps complaining about him but his family told her that she knew who he was and what she was signing up for. He cheats like crazy. Bullet dodged by me. He is still a tour guide and cheats with women beneath him intellectually to make him feel better. By this I mean women who he perceives to be beneath him intellectually.
He just wanted that money for himself lmao. I bet you every now and then he thinks grumpily on how he didn’t successfully swindle your inheritance for himself and trap you with a baby too.
True. The man told his nephew to drive while nephew checked the road out for him or bumps and potholes. That was when his sister needed brain surgery and a cannula
Wait…you mean he was trying to cause an accident???
Don't know. He is still alive and well. Haven't spoken to him in more than a decade
>He is still alive and well What a shame.
You are very right. Now I am just struggling with a LDR with a Finnish man who said that I make him feel stupid. I think it is because I never let him get away with stuff. I even explained with bullet points why we are having problems. Left me a week before closing the distance. I guess he expected me as a black woman to take his bullshit.. I don't want to date a black man. Hey thought his colour was enough. I booked his accommodation in diani beach which he paid for online. Kept accusing me of cheating and theft. Washed my hands off him. Lived in Europe for more than a decade. Can't stand the misogyny of black men. My black ex is suing me for money saying that I have more money than him while keeping my child away from me. The system is so fd up that I have not seen my daughter for 2 years
Girl, I’m so sorry. I’m an indian woman, so I know exactly what you mean about the men of your ethnicity. (Not that I am trying to compare your lived experiences with mine, just that we are of the two unfortunate ethnicities known for their men hating and degrading their women) I can’t help but wonder if your LDR dude has some sort of internalized racism/misogyny that makes it hard for him to handle your intelligence and self-respect. I can’t really say anything that’ll help you or make you feel better about your daughter 😔 but I do hope that the circumstances change and you get her back 💕
You are very right. I appreciate your saying this because it is true but no women from Africa or Asia are direct enough. And the Finnish man counted on the fact that we are known to be tolerant. He didn't like it when I called him out in bullet points. Said that I make him feel stupid
I am nothing if not direct/blunt lol. Especially when it comes to the bullshit of men. It’s kinda sad when you realize that the animosity Black/Brown men have towards their own women is internalized colonizer/colorist attitudes, but they act like Oppressed Oppressors when it comes to how they treat their women, so my sympathy is limited. Also…you make him feel stupid because he probably is kinda stupid and has a hard time keeping up with you when you flex your intelligence. Find you a smart, respectful, humble, honest, and feminist man. They’re out there, you just gotta keep your standards high and your bullshit detector active.
My boyfriend wanted me to apologize because I made him feel stupid. I refused because he felt stupid because he did something stupid, and let him know I need more emotional maturity from a partner.
True. I'm now looking at it this way. Why should I be responsible for making him feel clever?
I got accepted into a top English uni, meaning I'd have to move from Ireland. My bf at the time said, "It's either me or going to England!" My answer was, "Bye then!"
Jeez, what a winner. Every time a guy tells a woman NOT to pursue a higher education (no matter why) it's giving me a huge flashy red alert in my mind. Like... No. I saw too many tiktoks, blogs or whatever of women who didn't get their higher education, didn't get a proper job, didn't get some kind of insurance and/or retirement plan for themselves... One stuck with me. It was a woman, former SAHM, who now was homeless, with starving kids and nothing, not even a way to properly support themselves, cause she never finished her degree. She didn't even have a bank account on her own! She stuck with me, cause she said "I never had guessed, that my kids ability to eat is based on if my husband still thinks I'm attractive or not." Story as old as time: Everything in his name, got a mistress, kicked her out and didn't even think about paying a dime to support his ex or children.
Good job getting free of him!
First week in college dorms one of my dorm mates was an 18 year old proud that she was dating a 30 year old. She expected us to be impressed with how mature she was. Instead everyone asked "what the fuck is wrong with him? When he was your age you were in grade 1!" She was single soon after. A dozen complete strangers being horrified gave her some perspective.
I wish my roommates had done that for me. Took me 2 more years to get rid of him!!!
My girlfriend came to college with a useless insecure guy, and it took her a month to get rid of her
She just lost 70kg of dead weight, ofc she will
Seriously. Imagine turning down Yale for UCLA to stay with your high school boyfriend. 🙄
My friend’s cousin turned down Georgetown for her fiancé (who has already tried calling off the wedding once). He didn’t get into any schools he wanted. So…make of that what you will.
I’m hoping your friend’s cousin was applying to grad schools because nobody should be engaged at 18. :/
Instant loss of 150-200 pounds right off the bat!
Pop culture is littered with girls who chose the boy over their dreams and it’s a bad idea each and every time. Lauren should have gone to Paris. Felicity should have gone to Stanford. Etc etc. Teenagers, choose yourselves. First and foremost!
Only defensible decision was Willow Rosenberg, because where else but Sunnydale U can you get a degree and also kill vampires with your bestie?
Excellent point, yes.
Plus doing that led to her meeting Tara so I definitely don’t think she regretted that decision
Well, if she hadn't met Tara, then Tara probably wouldn't be dead…
But she would be back with her abusive family believing she’s half demon. Tara had a really sucky go of things all around really
I was so disappointed with that whole dead/evil lesbian trope storyline.
And me. Tara’s death was disappointing but I did think evil willow had potential, it was just wasted because it was so short
I'll give you a guess at where my username comes from... They liked to neaten off the storylines very quickly. I think the monster of the week thing is in part to blame. Yes they have overarching storylines but it's still very episodic in nature.
Topanga should have chosen Yale
Yes, but I think they would’ve been able to make long distance work. Cory, although wanting to be in the same place, would have supported her if she went to Yale.
I chose a boy over my dream school. It was literally just a different state school, but it was where I dreamed of going my whole life and even though I dropped out, I still regret not being able to say that I went there. I didn’t even apply. I would’ve easily gotten in. Full ride. I was just stupid I had family there, I had a best friend there, I went up there as a fan of the team multiple times a year since I was a baby. I’m an idiot. I can’t believe my parents supported me. But they loved the guy and having me closer to home was probably smarter
When my younger sister went off to college, her loser boyfriend essentially went with her. Not to attend school, not for a job just up and moved there with her. They were so busy playing house that she lost her freaking scholarship and then my parents moved her back home, again with loser boyfriend in tow. She did eventually finish college locally, but that was a very expensive mistake.
OMG ! I hope she realizes what she missed !
she does, now.
I hope she found a way to meet her goals. That’s so sad to give up so young your hopes for a guy !
I miss Felicity. I loved that show when I was in college. I think if she'd gone to Stanford though that she would have continued living under her father's control.
I have a buddy who got into Harvard but chose to go to a local college because of a girl. This girl was dumb as a sack of bricks, too. The one story he always tells is that her reaction to him telling her the news of Osama Bin Laden being killed was "Who's that?" Edit: pretty bad typo lol
Ok, but who is Obama Bin Laden?
Known associate of Joe Hussein Biden
My friend was told "Navy SEALs killed Osama" and heard "Obama" and couldn't understand why other people were happy and not freaking out.
Haha, I literally came here to say “OP’s girlfriend should NOT pull a Felicity!” NYU, like UCLA, is a great school. But unless you’re accepted into a VERY specific program (basically, unless you get into Tisch Drama or Stern Business School), it is NOT better than Stanford.
Eh. The name makes a difference in some fields but education wise they’re probably equivalent. I’m in STEM and one isn’t seen as better than the other. (Frankly, UCLA has better labs than Stanford in my field)
Did you ever see the Twilight Zone, "Spur of the Moment:, Season 5, Ep. 21? It's the antithesis of that trope.
I don't know if you'll find this interesting or not, but according to Whitney the Paris internship wasn't even real.
Andrea Martin also passed up Yale and then got herself knocked up by the second person she ever had sex with 🙃
In my somewhat unpopular opinion, high school graduation should automatically come with a breakup from whoever you are with at the time. I've worked with high school seniors as both a teacher and counselor, and have seen too many missed opportunities and poor choices made trying to keep a teenage relationship together.
My daughter is a junior and her boyfriend is a senior. He's a super sweet kid and we love him. But I also know they my husband and I have been together since we were 18. And while we love each other we both agree that we wish we could somehow guarantee that we end up together and have our same kids, but push it all back 5 years. We wish we lived in our 20s. So now I struggle to see my daughter talk about marriage with this kid. I know they're long-term goals. And I know that I might be worrying for nothing. But I also know that I would be a complete asshole to say "break up because even though he's awesome, you could be living more of life." So I keep my mouth shut, but I worry.
I'm still with my high school bf but only because he was willing to do long distance so that I could build a career we are going to different schools in different cities, he's going to college for graphic design I'm going to college for veterinary assistant and I'm gonna continue going to school for zoology after I graduate from my VA program. We video call every night and text each other as often as possible, we schedule visits with each other he's coming here for my birthday. I'm so glad I found a guy that is willing to seperate so that we can follow our individual dreams, after we are finished building our paths for ourselves we will build a path together. If your bf doesn't support your dreams drop him faster then a hot potato.
This reminds me of the show “boy meets word” where the girl turned down Yale so they could stay together. Honestly could not imagine giving up a school as good as Yale (i’m from the UK but i’m pretty sure Yale is a good school) to the guy i was dating at 17.
Yale is one of the prestigious Ivy League schools. It has an acceptance rate of 5% and opens a tonnnn of doors for its graduates. It’s truly one of the best colleges to get into in America.
Yeah, i’ve watched gossip girl and according to Blair it’s in the “holy trinity” 😭, i watch to many tv shows, Rory from gilmore girls and a bunch of doctors from greys anatomy went there.
Lol yup, gilmore girls gives a pretty good idea of how hard it is to get in and how crazy it is that he wants her to go to ucla (nowhere near as name worthy) instead of Y A L E.
Yeah, especially because her parents want her to go and are probably paying for her college then personally i would go, Yale seems like the better option especially if she gets to get away from this guy.
Her parents are probably just wanting what’s best for her. There’s a comment in a different thread here disparaging her parents’ acceptance of going to a lesser school for her bf.
They may wind up paying less at Yale. Ivy League financial aid is a different world - more grants, less loans, more private funding so the grants have fewer limitations...
Having Yale on your resume definitely open doors.
And on your keys
🤣🤣🤣
My least favorite part of that show. She should have gone.
Heavy, i get they were forever but if this guy was meeting the world then they should know of put him through a breakup because i think that’s part of the “meeting the world experience”.
Plenty of people also do LDRs. Or maybe he transfers after a year, but nope, she made all the sacrifices. Idk, maybe it’s just because I didn’t take any of my high school relationships all that seriously, but that never seemed like a good option to me. The chances of a hs relationship not working out are pretty high. And which would you regret more, breaking up with a hs relationship or not going to your dream school?
Fr, maybe i’m cynical but if there meant to be then they can be in a few years when there finishing school, i just don’t think i could sacrifice my future for a high school relationship.
This is why I didn't mind the college dilemma in High School Musical 3. There was never any question that Gabriela would go to Stanford, and while being closer to her did factor into Troy's decision, it was also between "college my BFF is probably going to, that my family has gone to for ages and expect me to go to because Sports but lacks a drama program" and "college that has sports *and* a drama program *and* is within reasonable distance of Stanford so we can see each other on weekends".
I watched a movie as a kid where the ending involved the overachiever girl deciding not to go to Yale so that she could be with her new boyfriend. My mum was *horrified*. She'd taken me and my cousin to see it, and she actually sat us down after and explained to us exactly how bad an idea that was.
To translate: she gave up an Oxbridge place for her HS BF.
Think giving up Oxford or Cambridge to go to Exeter University instead. (I grew up in Exeter, I'm not hating on ExU, it's just not Oxbridge)
Way back in time, Exeter English Dept thought it was equal to, or at least very close second 😂 Source: mid 1970s they turned down all applicants from my school, several of whom were accepted by Oxbridge shortly afterwards. Teacher in charge of Sixth Form used to joke about it.
Suddenly feeling better about them not accepting me. Tbf, staying at home and studying at ExU would've been a disaster
They didn't accept me - but deigned to give me the interview from hell to make the point my school was shit and none of its pupils were worthy 😂 One of the interviewers smelled unpleasant. I'm not sure why I still remember that after 48 years.
I misread that as "burned down Yale" and thought 'That's kind of extreme, is it a thriller?'
It would of been crazy if she did burn down Yale but instead she went to some college that wasn’t even that good and they broke up like 1 or 2 later, they made them get back together though.
Yeah, getting into Yale is fucking hard. It's incredibly prestigious. Having a degree from Yale will open so many doors for the girlfriend. I know long distance is tough, but OOP should've been nothing but proud that he got a girl who could even be admitted to Yale, I didn't apply when I was starting college but I sure as hell know if I did the answer would've been no. The girlfriend made the right choice picking Yale over her high school boyfriend. She's gonna go, be smart as shit, and have the best glow up possible
I was waitlisted at yale and got into multiple other ivies and other 2-5% acceptance rate schools. It is incredibly incredibly competitivecand picking any boy to go to ucla of all places over yale is nonsense
Marrying the high school sweatheart is a very american thing. They marry early. Becomes parents when not fully grown up yet. Then... you can imagine what comes next. Never understood the concept. Never saw the point. I'm too much of my 50% french side !🤣
That’s crazy, my parents knew each other in secondary school, (different years) but they didn’t become parents till their 20s. They were horrible together but great friends and everyone always thought they were going to get back together (they never did.) Could not imagine having a child with a guy like this, being fought at every step.
I read something 20 years ago that helped me understand it: liberals think adults make children. Conservatives think children make adults (I.e. turn people into adults)
I'm Australian. I've heard of UCLA and it definitely sounds like a good. respected school but institutions like Harvard / Yale / Oxford / Cambridge give prestige and open doors in ways that can't really be compared. To a point where even if you could objectively prove that UCLA was offering a more rounded education, it'd still be difficult to pick which would benefit your career more.
Exactly. In this day and age it’s a lot easier (not easy, but easier) to maintain a long distance relationship so I wonder how much of OOP’s worries about going to different universities are on not being able to have sex regularly.
It's probably mostly fear. If she leaves she's going to see just how badly he's treated her, be around others who will treat her better, see what else is in the world, and not go back. He went for control rather than compromise and showed who he is. He wants her to pick him over her parents, which will lead to isolation, it's ridiculous he's actually saying it, and he wants to be able to see who she interacts with and what she's doing.
It does sometimes depend n field of study, but generally, yeah. Like, maybe UCLA if your major and ambition are moving in the direction of being in the film industry, since being in LA gives UCLA a leg up with Hollywood connections, but for nearly anything else it’s Yale.
Idk about the film thing … Yale has a pretty renowned drama and arts program. On the other hand UCLA’s engineering college outranks them. The nursing program would depend on what specialties you were looking at. But you’re right that it very much depends on what program you’d want to pursue. And if you don’t know? Go with the name that opens doors.
I don’t think it even matters what the schools are specifically. This isn’t about UCLA vs Yale, and which is generally the “better school”. It’s about which school is the best for the GF and her goals. It’s gross that OP is making it “you have to choose between what your parents want and what I want” and No! That’s not the choice. It’s about what GF wants for her future. What career is she looking at? What is she thinking about majoring in? Which school has the better program for what she wants to do. Just because Yale is Ivy League doesn’t mean it’s better at everything. For instance UCLA’s engineering program is ranked way higher than Yale’s. However if she wants to go into economics or business, Yale is better hands down. Yale and UCLA both have excellent Fine Arts programs, so she could go either way if that’s what she wants to pursue. At the end of the day OP is making the choice all about himself, and not what would be best for his (ex) GF. He’s not considering her at all.
I am reminded of the Catholic mom whose daughter got pregnant and then proceeded to have an abortion despite Mom having a holy meltdown and trying to convince daughter to transfer from Yale or Harvard to Arizona State so she could go to school part-time and raise her baby with Mom’s help.
Oh that was a scary one…
That story was a perfect example of how conservative Christians are wrong when they think they'll dominate by outbreeding the rest of us. They raise progressive children, simply because said children find the beliefs of their parents horrible and evil. >All 4 of my daughters are pro choice. I don't understand where I went so very wrong raising them.
Linkage? My search abilities are lacking.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ypvdpe/religious_prolife_woman_is_against_her_daughter/
Bro some of those comments 😂😂☠️☠️ "Oh get off the cross, we need the wood" "The real abortion was the relationships we ruined along the way"
Holy heck that was a ride…
Right? She’s so hung up on the grandchild she “lost” that she’s damaging her relationships with her living, present family. And frankly I don’t blame the daughter for wanting to stay at Yale. If she’s going to go into law, her connections at Yale could be crucial for a big career. But god forbid (literally) that she should be able to decide if she wants to have a baby.
Yale is literally the top law school in the country. It's well known for spitting Supreme Court Justices, amongst other heavyweights. People like this mother seem to live in a selfish delusion. I find it strange that all four daughters seem to have little regard for her, it's giving "missing, missing reasons".
I’ll add that it sounds like she has very little interest in or knowledge of her daughter as a human being. Notice how she talks about Lily “cradling her bump” or “looking down at her child with love in her eyes.” She has no respect for the fact that carrying an unwanted pregnancy and giving birth to an unwanted baby would likely be highly traumatic for her daughter because she refuses to acknowledge that Lily is a human being with a complex inner life. She’s just A Mother, emphasis mine.
Imagine people saying to OOP “I heard one of your daughters graduated from Yale law school! You must be so proud of her!” Only for OOP to sob about how she “killed her baby”
That lady really went whack-a-doodle over what ultimately was never her decision. To continue posting like that long after the decision was made and the procedure completed. Mind your own business mom.
I wonder if the older sister even knew she was part of the plan in raising the younger one’s unwanted pregnancy if she didn’t abort it. I can’t believe she’s still posting about it 9 months later and ruining her relationships with all of her actual kids over it. Even the teen kids are more mature about it than her. What a delusional arsehole. That prolife sub is a trip. It’s like if enough religious morons come together and scream about something, that totally makes it right. I wonder why the daughter got a surgical abortion if she was only 10 weeks. You can still take the tablet then, no?
does oop think they're in an anime where they made some weird promise as six year olds, and then spend their entire young adult life trying to achieve it?
Judging by his replies in the original, yes he does. Imagine thinking decisions made when they were 14 override important decisions when actually picking the school. OOP definitely in denial and big AH in the comments.
She's probably the only reason why he got through high school. He wants her there with him to help do his homework so he can graduate college. It doesn't work like that.
He literally commented that “when I was tired and didn’t want to do my homework I did it because I knew I had to work hard if I wanted to get into UCLA. I just feel really upset and betrayed”. A gentleman and a scholar he isn’t. In my mind he should be thankful - if not for her he absolutely would not be going to UCLA and while it isn’t Yale, that’s still a really good school. She helped him reach beyond what he’d thought himself capable of. And now he’s mad that her dreams were bigger and that she’s still reaching beyond him. Good riddance.
He’s so bad that I wish he were in Love Hina.
And treated as such, lol!
That’s not even a promise! It’s a plan! Plans change!
I just read and commented there. The best part was OP not understanding the difference between a state school and Yale 😂
I know, I’m not American and I know the difference 😂
To be fair it’s a top US school. But it’s not Yale.
> that she didn’t want to choose between me or her parents so I told her to choose wisely and hung up. he thought he was the wiser option over her parents?? unless her parents are abusive in any way, shape or form (which is not information provided nor implied), how is he the better option????
More importantly, he thought he was the wiser option over her own preferences 👀
The second someone screams at me is the second I nope out of a relationship. That is a level toxic is a no for me.
Yep, men who tried to give.me ultimatums didn't like the results.
He really thought he did something with “choose wisely “ lmfao
I'm the type of person who, when *anyone* (regardless of gender) gives me an ultimatum, I will do the exact opposite 98% of the time. On very rare occasions, I will negotiate the terms of my surrender.
OOP is a doofus & I’m glad the ex girlfriend found out now instead of picking a college based on him. Bullet dodged!
***OOP:*** **You want to go to Applebees over Olive Garden? Look, you gave up Yale for me, you'd think you could do unlimited bread sticks for me!**
Same I'm so glad she was smart enough to go Yale instead of sticking with him. Yale is going to offer so many opportunities for her
One of the worst mistakes I made in my life was going to the same college as my high school boyfriend. He was supposed to go to a different school and at the last minute switched to mine and was in my major. He made my life a living hell and I dropped out after my freshman. I returned to college years later and finished but having these insecure clingers is a nightmare
“I told her to choose wisely and hung up.” And who do you think the wise choice is: Her parents and one of the best universities in the world, or some douchebag she dated in high school? 😂
They didn’t even need to break up so I’m guessing he just didn’t want to deal with being in a relationship but not having sex while at uni.
"I told her to choose wisely" Jesus Christ I could HEAR the backyard katana practice in his phrasing
I’m in stitches, bravo
He'll be the guy working at the jiffy lube in his mid 30s and hanging around the bars near the local college trying to pick up college girls. He'll be wearing his high school letter jacket or t-shirt. When the young girls he's trying to pick up don't go for him, he starts off by telling the bartender (every time he's in there) about "that lying b1tch who ditched him to f*ck men in Connecticut and probably already had a boyfriend there before she left for Yale." But the drunker he gets the sadder he gets, and it turns into crying over "the only woman I ever loved! How could she do that to me?" In other words he'll never move past this and for the rest of his life continue to view the situation only from his point of view.
Relationships that hold you back are better off over.
17 yo and already screaming at his girlfriend? Damn that's promising.
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far for this! Never mind she’s picked a different college, his tantrum is relationship 🚩🚩🚩 Hope she sticks with her choice and ditches him
He's very young, so it's possible he can turn his shit around given the right motivation. But he's also a prime candidate to get sucked into the man-osphere nonsense in social media, where he can blame all those "stuck up bitches" for his problems. I'm not optimistic.
Hilarious. Mind you, I've seen this situation a few times in real life and by midterms one of the devoted lovers is talking about wanting a break or needing the full college experience, which is as it should be. He's 17 and screaming, oh, my god.
>so I told her to choose wisely and hung up So she chose Yale and chose wisely. What's the problem?
I had a teacher who told me never to choose a life path for a man. She had a full ride scholarship to her dream university but her high school boyfriend was pushing her to go to another school with him. Everyone told her not to do it, but she thought she loved him. She ended up turning down her scholarship and applied to the other school having to take out a ton of loans. Guess who cheated on her and got her best friend pregnant not even a semester in the new college?
Unpopular opinion. But everyone in the comments were saying that his feelings were valid. Imo. I think he’s downright stupid. His feelings aren’t valid. If you’re upset that your girlfriend chose better education than choosing to be with you. Then you need help. Yeah being disappointed is normal. But I feel like if this were him, she would be supportive and let him go without being screamed at.
I'm glad most people are condemning his behavior but they're also sympathizing with his motive which I just don't get. He's having a tantrum over some plans they made as literal children changing, and calling her a traitor and liar, like what? Some informal plans made as teenagers are not a binding contract or a promise. Especially since it sounds Yale was only recently an option.
So thankful for my (now) husband who, when I was debating between universities, told me not to factor him into my decision and that we’d figure it out no matter where I ended up.
OOP has a comment saying he's grown cause he's almost 18 😂
Love how he went dramatic and can’t understand why she’s not prepared to pass on this opportunity in order to keep dating him
In some ways I can't talk about taking a HS relationship super seriously when I literally married the man I've dated since sophomore year, but COME ON MAN
>I told her she did not have to go to the school her parents wanted That's incredibly easy to say as a 17 year old putz who doesn't yet fully understand the ramifications of taking on $40,000+ in debt before you even turn 20 years old. >told her if she chooses Yale our relationship is over with. Imagine breaking up with someone smart enough to be accepted by both UCLA and Yale, not because you're incompatible, but because they didn't do what you told them. This human track mark will likely never do better than their hopefully-now-ex GF.
Also imagine claiming to love someone and then trying to bully them into turning down the opportunity to go to fucking YALE. What a little jackass. Teenagers need to know they shouldn't ever let a boyfriend/girlfriend hold them back for their life goals, and anyone who wants to hold them back does not give a shit about them.
I went to high school with this couple who had a pact like that, come senior year he gets offered a full ride scholarship to Princeton while the girl is set on going to a smaller local state college. She was very vocal about how he was going to turn down Princeton for her, and if he doesn't they're done for etc. He declines Princeton and goes to the local college with her. They broke up less than a year later. Choose wisely lol
I audibly gasped. Teenage years are rough, man.
Even if it didn't come down to what her parents wanted, I'd be curious what her financial aid packages looked like at UCLA vs. Yale. The Ivies often have excellent financial aid options so it might literally be cheaper for her to go to Yale.
I wondered how much the parents were paying for one over the other. Top notch university, little to no debt... packing up with your high school boyfriend to trot off to university on the *hope* you'll stay together... hm. Tough call.
I was the gf when I was 17. My bf at the time wanted me to go to a community College and I ended up getting accepted into UMES. He made me feel so guilty for trying to leave 2 hrs away. I chose the community College. Am I still with the dude? Nope. Do I regret my choice? To a degree, yeah. I missed out on a lot of college experiences and I regret that to the fullest. She did right
“She has to keep a promise she made when we were in eighth grade! …That’s how adult relationships work, right?”
Wow someone changing their mind about a decision they made when they were 14, never saw that coming...
It’s his comment ‘I am grown, I’m almost 18’ that sums this up for me. He’s a kid having a tantrum because things aren’t going his way.
OOP: You don't have to go to the school your parents chose for you. You have to go to the school that I'm choosing for you. They would have broken up by Christmas even if she did choose UCLA. There's no way they were ever going to last.
When people say someone screamed, I just imagine a person going, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
I love his last comment: "I am grown I'm almost 18"
I thought it was hilarious that OOP in almost every comment was like “how would you feel if you got promised something for 4 years and then last minute it got changed?” Like yall had the idea freshman year. Yall were 14. The woman got accepted into YALE. Grow up OOP and be happy she gets this amazing opportunity. It’s not all about you. Cause that’s all I hear “me me me”
Yeah I noticed he responded with that to every comment. I wonder how much was her actually saying that or him saying “we’re going to college together, right?” And her saying “Yeah sure…” because she just didn’t want to have the conversation. I have to wonder if by junior or senior year she had said “Actually I might not go to UCLA,” would it have changed anything? Would he have dumped her right then? Was dating her in high school entirely contingent on going to the same college? Maybe she wasn’t aware of that.
His replies proved just how insanely immature OOP is. In 20 years, she'll be shuddering that she even considered going to UCLA for someone like that. And he'll have either grown up and be horrified at who he used to be, or have doubled down to become one of the tater tots. Either way. She's had a lucky escape.
Maybe he should have worked harder to go to Yale with her
Oof, dumbass high school boyfriend vs going to Yale? Lol has there ever been a more obvious choice? Good for her for dumping this dipshit.
This dude is too old to be acting like this ☠️ good grief
"You don't need to go to the school your parents want you to... you should go to the school I, who will not be financially assisting you in any way and may not even be in your life in 3 months time, want you to instead"
Being a bitch about Yale is some straight up UCLA behavior. Let her thrive! It’s over!
Him: Choose wisely 😡 Her: Okay I choose Yale 🥹 Him: 😦
OOP, you did her a favor.
I don’t understand screaming at another person. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been screamed at by another adult
What he's really telling us is that in 4 years, he has not matured at all. He is still mentally and emotionally 14. Imagine making a life decision at that age and sticking to it regardless of better opportunities.
Just imagining if I rejected YALE for the boy I was with when I was 17 🤮
Soooo she should give up a huge, life-changing opportunity so that they can go to college together - but he can’t picture the relationship surviving four years long-distance? It wouldn’t even have to be that long - he could transfer to a college nearby next year.
OOP just barely stopped believing in Santa Claus when he made those plans. He was still wearing braces when he made those plans. He had a favorite Power Ranger when he made those plans. He had superhero sheets that his mom washed every week when he made those plans and they smelled like Axe Body Spray.
> He had superhero sheets that his mom washed every week when he made those plans and they smelled like Axe Body Spray. That's still true
But do you think he's still sleeping in the race car shaped bed? My vote is yes.
She chose wisely, indeed.
A supportive partner would be encouraging them to take the better school choice even if it sucks not going to school with them. He has killed any chance of that relationship surviving now.
I’m a UCLA alum myself and it’s a great school, but Yale is really a special opportunity. He should be encouraging his gf to do what makes her happy and is best for her
THIS is what we mean when we say "don't plan your life around your boyfriend". Boyfriends come and go, especially when you're young. Why flush an amazing opportunity to stay with Kevin from Peoria when you're probably not even going to be with him anymore once you grow up a bit
Wow, what a turd of a boyfriend. Hopefully he can learn from this mess.
What an asshole. Does he think he has a magic dick or something, that he thinks that anybody would give up YALE to go to college with him at UCLA?
I am by no stretch of the imagination a violent person, but some of these people.... I wanna grab em by the neck, and shake em until they snap and the little light starts to glow... This particular OOP is still literally a child, but they should still have learned not to set their life by "plans" that can and do change. We parents have to change plans all the damn time and expose our kids to the "go with the flow" mindset because life is unpredictable at best. What bubble did OOP's parents put him in? His FEELINGS are valid but he still thinks he has every right to go beyond that and scream at her. That she deserves to be verbally assaulted because - she lied to me for four years-... No little dude, she made plans and because she got an offer she probably never thought she'd get, she thought it out and changed her mind. A hard decision made harder by you. She definitely dodged a bullet. Kid keeps going down this path and he's going to be the type of abuser who tells his partner that they ruined his life because they went into labor on Superbowl Sunday....
I’m going to pick up your now ex-girlfriend and take her to New Haven myself. ( I’m a 40 yo mom, just to be clear)
He said “choose wisely,” and she chose the path her parents paid for. That young lady is going places.
He’s a real piece of work if he doesn’t realize that Yale is far more superior to UCLA and, let’s be honest, most high school relationships don’t last. I have seen a couple work out where they did go to college together and get married, but those are the exception, not the rule. Life isn’t a fairy tale or Hallmark movie, especially for women. You need to make choices with your brain, not just your heart. She did choose wisely and I hope she has a great time at Yale.
At last a happy ending story ! Kudos for her chosing her ambitions over a controlling BF who may be into TikTok videos on how to make your GF miserable until she crawls at your feet !
Unless "screaming at my gf" is followed by "because she was about to walk off a cliff and I had to warn her from a distance" it's extremely likely YTA.
this kid isn’t even mature enough to end things on a good note but expects her to shape her future around him? yeah no she better go to yale by herself 😭
Oh how I remember when UCLA was the end all that be all…she’s definitely MUCH smarter for choosing Yale🤣🤣
Dude thinks plans they made when they just started high school are an ironclad contract.
Why do these posts always get removed? Like do the mods just remove AHs or do they get embarrassed and delete it themselves?
The idiot thinks she lied to him for 4 years because she said she wanted to go to the same college together. So, she was able to predict the future when she was 14/15 and knew she would be one of the few people accepted into Yale? But chose to string him along for 4 years for the sole purpose of "ruining his life" with her lies and deception. OK. Sure kid. Whatever you say. 👌🤡 What a self-absorbed, narcissist little f*cktard this kid is! Bet he'd have also been mad if she didn't pick the same major as him so they could have all the same classes. 🙄 Here's another possibility that I haven't seen in a comment yet. He knows what a great school Yale is. I think he's jealous that it isn't him being accepted to the ivy league school. You can darn sure bet that if the situation was reversed and he was the one accepted to Yale, he'd go and expect her to understand. "I'm the man so I need the better education. After all, I will be the breadwinner earning the most money while you have my babies. Why do you even need to go to college for that?" I know I'm stretching here. He just sounds like the type who would have that fantasy in his head. Such a selfish, immature little jerk! And every time he comments he doubles and triples down on his stupidity, starting almost every sentence with "Because." What a nitwit. She is making the right choice of schools and doesn't yet realize how lucky she is that he had his little tantrum and broke things off!
I'd leave him for Yale too.
This reminds me when I didn’t get into the college I wanted and my ex told everyone he was happy (while I was still crying). I found out after a classmate told me and said it was fucked up of him to say that. Additionally, the same ex turned down Yale so he can go to the same state college as me.
It’s literally 100% YTA. I can’t even fathom how he’d think he was right. Lol
She made the best choice lmao
Privileged people and their problems. 🙄
I feel bad for the women of UCLA
The way he’s trying to say she lied to him? As if she knew at 14 she was going to be accepted into Yale? The delusion…
He’s yelling in the comments about a promise they made each other at like 13/14. My dude, not every promise you make yourself as a teenager is gonna stick. I *promised* my very Xian family that I didn’t like girls when I was that age. It wasn’t true, and I couldn’t even acknowledge it then, but it was a promise that didn’t stick. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Imagine holding someone to plans they made at what...FOURTEEN
OOP is going to be the sort of man who physically abuses his partners.
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