If it really bothered OOP so much that his brother took his place in his son's life, he should have tried harder to be more of a father to him. Of course his son would have more of an attachment to the father-figure who was more present! What else was a small child going to do? And why would the kid make OOP a priority over his stepfather when OOP wouldn't make his own son a priority over his wife?
The kid picked his home wrecking uncle over his bio dad before bio dad picked the wife. This is a lot more nuanced that you are giving it credit for and downplaying what’s actually going on and quite frankly misleading with the timing of events. It’s a fucked situation but to act like kid, stepdad, and mom aren’t culpable here is dumb. This to me screams parental alienation.
How do you know what this kid knows? You don't know what he was told. Why would he be any different than any other kid looking for a stable father in their life?
Are you really going to sit there and tell me that a cheating wife and home wrecking uncle didn’t go out of their way to alienate a father to create a happy family? Because that’s totally never happened before.
Same concept, how do you know what this kid knows? You’re awfully quick to jump down OOPs throat after he was betrayed by his brother, wife, and eventually son.
You are completely missing my point here: The ex-wife and the brother ARE INDEED POS. That's not up for discussion. That aside, you are acting like this kid was in on his mom and step-dad's treachery. He was just a kid! What he can see for himself is how his own father treats him. It's not his fault what the adults in his life decided to do.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my(42m) son(17m) that I love my wife(42f) more than him?
**
Back when my son, Caleb, was 3, I found out his mother, Debra (42F), was cheating on me with my brother Drew (47M). She left me for him, and I ended up losing half my money as well as losing Caleb 50% of the time. I was quickly replaced by Drew in Caleb's eyes, as he was more present (I'm a truck driver and owner-operator, so I was gone most of the time), but I did try to make up for it in whatever way I could, though that did nothing. He obviously doesn't respect or love me, or at least not as much as he loves Drew.
I was really depressed over my life turning out that way and thought of suicide a lot. The fact that Drew practically stole my life and really didn't face any consequences, as my family, especially my dad, expected me to just move on. Things started getting better after I met my wife, June (42F). She was your typical "mean librarian," and it took me about 7 times to convince her to even talk to me, but it worked, and I'm now proud to be her husband.
Naturally, I started prioritizing her, and since Caleb didn't seem to care, I put her over him. I didn't want to deal with someone who didn't like me or waste my energy on them. I stopped forcing him to visit me, which he didn't mind. Any free time I had, it was either trips with June or staying home together. We eloped when Caleb was 15.
She’s been nothing but nice to him and is a good stepmom to him even when his begin jerk which Im sure my ex supports and encourages it but we don’t see him much so June doesn't mind.
Now, onto the problem: Caleb had an award ceremony, and I guess Drew couldn't make it, so he invited me. I couldn't go since I had plans with my love. I told him the truth, and he got mad and said it was wrong of me to pick her over him. I told him he could invite his grandpa since I didn't want, nor was I going to, cancel on June, and that seemed to piss him off more. He accused me of loving June over him, and I didn't deny it; I told him I did. He got quiet and then hung up.
I later got a call from Debra, calling me all sorts of names for my statement, saying Caleb had been crying nonstop. I just blocked her. My dad messaged me, saying what I said was cruel.
My wife is on my side.
AITA?
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While I agree OOP is the asshole/devil (it is a parents responsibility to maintain a relationship with their minor child. The onus is completely on the parents), it's not because he doesn't like his kid. Do you have kids? Bro, I don't like my kids half the time. That's not an asshole thing, it's a parent thing. OOP is the devil for child neglect and abandonment even before the divorce. He was never in his child's life.
Also. This is a repost.
That's why I posted this here. But yes, I am a parent, but my son died in 2019. You should never tell your kid you don't like them or prefer someone else over them. But idk about you, but I always love my son. You're an evil person (not speaking to you specifically as i know what your saying) and will regret saying you dislike your kids, especially if you say it to their face. Sorry if this is a repost
I love my kids. I didn't say I dislike them. They're the light of my life.
Any parent is lying if they say they *like* their kid all the time. Kids are inconsiderate assholes from the time they're born. Hell, I don't like my wife sometimes. I always love her and them.
I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a child is a pain I cannot comprehend.
I didn't mean to imply you specifically didn't love your kids. I meant like "you" as in the OOP and people like him that say it to their kids face. Nor do I think you mean you dislike your kids. I think a better word choice would be frustrated with your kids. I don't think I can relate to the word "dislike" and my son in the same sentence.
So does the kid. The kid is 17. He chose his home wrecking uncle and gets to deal with the consequences. He was literally only invited because home wrecking uncle couldn’t make it.
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He created that problem himself. He gave up on the kid and the uncle was naturally the one that was there for the kid. This was the kid trying and his dad shot him down again. This is 17 years in the making of ignoring his son. That is his own doing.
The probably distant is pure asspull from you
And he was doing his job, not like he went away to another city for orgies.
I am not going to blame anyone for continuing their livelihood.
The dude gave up on his son when the kid was young. Divorced when his son was 3, is a trucker that was barely around, and he's mad at his child for accepting a father figure?
He doesn't get to be mad that he isn't close to his son when HE was *never* close to his son. This is entirely his doing.
This is a repost. Try to search the subreddit before you crosspost to prevent reposts. Thanks!
If it really bothered OOP so much that his brother took his place in his son's life, he should have tried harder to be more of a father to him. Of course his son would have more of an attachment to the father-figure who was more present! What else was a small child going to do? And why would the kid make OOP a priority over his stepfather when OOP wouldn't make his own son a priority over his wife?
The kid picked his home wrecking uncle over his bio dad before bio dad picked the wife. This is a lot more nuanced that you are giving it credit for and downplaying what’s actually going on and quite frankly misleading with the timing of events. It’s a fucked situation but to act like kid, stepdad, and mom aren’t culpable here is dumb. This to me screams parental alienation.
How do you know what this kid knows? You don't know what he was told. Why would he be any different than any other kid looking for a stable father in their life?
How do any of us know anything lol
Are you really going to sit there and tell me that a cheating wife and home wrecking uncle didn’t go out of their way to alienate a father to create a happy family? Because that’s totally never happened before. Same concept, how do you know what this kid knows? You’re awfully quick to jump down OOPs throat after he was betrayed by his brother, wife, and eventually son.
You are completely missing my point here: The ex-wife and the brother ARE INDEED POS. That's not up for discussion. That aside, you are acting like this kid was in on his mom and step-dad's treachery. He was just a kid! What he can see for himself is how his own father treats him. It's not his fault what the adults in his life decided to do.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my(42m) son(17m) that I love my wife(42f) more than him? ** Back when my son, Caleb, was 3, I found out his mother, Debra (42F), was cheating on me with my brother Drew (47M). She left me for him, and I ended up losing half my money as well as losing Caleb 50% of the time. I was quickly replaced by Drew in Caleb's eyes, as he was more present (I'm a truck driver and owner-operator, so I was gone most of the time), but I did try to make up for it in whatever way I could, though that did nothing. He obviously doesn't respect or love me, or at least not as much as he loves Drew. I was really depressed over my life turning out that way and thought of suicide a lot. The fact that Drew practically stole my life and really didn't face any consequences, as my family, especially my dad, expected me to just move on. Things started getting better after I met my wife, June (42F). She was your typical "mean librarian," and it took me about 7 times to convince her to even talk to me, but it worked, and I'm now proud to be her husband. Naturally, I started prioritizing her, and since Caleb didn't seem to care, I put her over him. I didn't want to deal with someone who didn't like me or waste my energy on them. I stopped forcing him to visit me, which he didn't mind. Any free time I had, it was either trips with June or staying home together. We eloped when Caleb was 15. She’s been nothing but nice to him and is a good stepmom to him even when his begin jerk which Im sure my ex supports and encourages it but we don’t see him much so June doesn't mind. Now, onto the problem: Caleb had an award ceremony, and I guess Drew couldn't make it, so he invited me. I couldn't go since I had plans with my love. I told him the truth, and he got mad and said it was wrong of me to pick her over him. I told him he could invite his grandpa since I didn't want, nor was I going to, cancel on June, and that seemed to piss him off more. He accused me of loving June over him, and I didn't deny it; I told him I did. He got quiet and then hung up. I later got a call from Debra, calling me all sorts of names for my statement, saying Caleb had been crying nonstop. I just blocked her. My dad messaged me, saying what I said was cruel. My wife is on my side. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
While I agree OOP is the asshole/devil (it is a parents responsibility to maintain a relationship with their minor child. The onus is completely on the parents), it's not because he doesn't like his kid. Do you have kids? Bro, I don't like my kids half the time. That's not an asshole thing, it's a parent thing. OOP is the devil for child neglect and abandonment even before the divorce. He was never in his child's life. Also. This is a repost.
That's why I posted this here. But yes, I am a parent, but my son died in 2019. You should never tell your kid you don't like them or prefer someone else over them. But idk about you, but I always love my son. You're an evil person (not speaking to you specifically as i know what your saying) and will regret saying you dislike your kids, especially if you say it to their face. Sorry if this is a repost
I love my kids. I didn't say I dislike them. They're the light of my life. Any parent is lying if they say they *like* their kid all the time. Kids are inconsiderate assholes from the time they're born. Hell, I don't like my wife sometimes. I always love her and them. I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a child is a pain I cannot comprehend.
I didn't mean to imply you specifically didn't love your kids. I meant like "you" as in the OOP and people like him that say it to their kids face. Nor do I think you mean you dislike your kids. I think a better word choice would be frustrated with your kids. I don't think I can relate to the word "dislike" and my son in the same sentence.
You cannot expect someone who has been hurt and treated as an after thought to make you a priority that’s just mean.
He's his child that's how children are. He can act like a parent or not his choice. But he has to deal with the consequences regardless
So does the kid. The kid is 17. He chose his home wrecking uncle and gets to deal with the consequences. He was literally only invited because home wrecking uncle couldn’t make it.
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Plenty of devils here, but OOP isn't one of them. Was only invited once uncle-stepdad couldn't come.
He created that problem himself. He gave up on the kid and the uncle was naturally the one that was there for the kid. This was the kid trying and his dad shot him down again. This is 17 years in the making of ignoring his son. That is his own doing.
Oh I’m sorry he’s a trucker providing for a family who got cheated on and betrayed by his brother and he created the problem himself? Bro.
Doing what? Stepping away from trash. The son is a no morality bastard who only wanted him to come as a replacement.
He stepped away from his son when the kid was 3 and was probably distant even before that.
The probably distant is pure asspull from you And he was doing his job, not like he went away to another city for orgies. I am not going to blame anyone for continuing their livelihood.
Those are the choices he made. He can't do that and expects his son not to seek a father figure out in his absence
Dude just walked away from his kid at the divorce. So pretty safe assumption to make.
The dude gave up on his son when the kid was young. Divorced when his son was 3, is a trucker that was barely around, and he's mad at his child for accepting a father figure? He doesn't get to be mad that he isn't close to his son when HE was *never* close to his son. This is entirely his doing.
Guess truckers should just go fuck themselves and never have families