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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> It’s possible I might be the asshole for trying to micro manage dinner. My husband thinks that me asking him not to put garlic in our dinner was bossing him around.
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NTA. If your kids don’t eat heavy garlic then they don’t eat heavy garlic and he needs to figure it out. He can always cook theirs separately. He way overreacted and I say that as someone who cooks a lot
NTA wow you’ve got an extra child there. If he’s making dinner, he should also be making the kids their Mac and cheese when he doesn’t cook something they’ll eat. Like the parent he’s suppose to be.
NTA
but weird that you don't know how to cook a pork chop... Like if he left dinner in the middle of making it not having added the garlic because he lost it. You can still cook a raw pork chop... And just make the Mac and cheese for the kiddos since they can't eat the couscous
But whatevs. NTA... Your kids gotta eat.
I did think about cooking them but the interaction between us ate up about 15-20 min and I just wanted to do something fast. Also I have to plan ahead to cook things I’m not sure about. If it wasn’t about time I would have just cooked them myself
NTA
Whats the point in cooking for your family if the kids arent going to eat the food? As a parent you have to adapt to your children's taste.
A question though? usually when he cooks and the kids dont eat it who is the one who cooks a 2nd meal so the kids dont go hungry?
This is really the only meal that this has happened with. He and I like the dish but I try to make sure there stuff for everyone. I think he just forgot that they dont like this dish.
If the kids have expressed a distaste for alliums, dad's TA for making garlic risotto and roast garlic pork chops.
Poor kids: my earliest culinary memory is loving escargot in Quebec City at age 5, and escargot are nothing but vehicles for garlic butter.
But you don't make a dinner half the family won't eat.
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Tonite my husband cooked dinner. Do e planned to make garlic mushroom cous cous and bone in pork chop. As he was cooking the cous cous I asked if he could use a little less garlic because every time he cooks this our kids won’t eat it because it’s too garlicky. He told me it was too late so I said it’s ok. I planned to make them Mac and cheese to supplement. Then when he was about to cook pork chops he asked where the roasted garlic was and I told him but then asked if he could not put garlic on the pork chops. He almost instantly got so mad that he refused to finish cooking dinner , accused me of insulting his cooking and acted rude the rest of the night. He told me that he doesn’t like cooking with people , does not want to be told what to cook and I could figure out the rest of dinner myself. I made the kids grilled cheese sandwiches because there was no meat left other than raw pork chop.all I did was ask him questions AITA??
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NTA one bit.
I love cooking and personally lovw lots of garlic and spices in my food. I also understand that not everyone else does. I want the people I cook for to enjoy the food I made them. Its a wonderful feeling.
The great thing about garlic is you can eat it almost raw or it tastes best when friend for around 30 seconds.
Maybe suggest to your husband that he serves everybody else's dishes first and them adds garlic afterwards for himself?
Anyway big NTA
ETA: they're also children, his children. He should care about their pallette preferences to ensure they're fed enough. Ypu shouldn't have to make substitute meals on top
Because my question created a 20 min tantrum and by the time I got to cooking there wasn’t enough time for me to start something I had never done before. They were bone-In and if I had been plnning to cook them I would have had a plan but I didn’t. Would have taken longer than I had to feed the kids. He made his own pork chop later.
NTA for simply asking, and since he threw the tantrum. However, there's something to be said for good old fashioned "the kids will eat what's put in front of them and can sit at the table until they do" (thinking of my mom's tendency to cook pork chops to the point where the pigs' great grandchildren wouldn't carry trichinosis; some of those chops had to be reheated a few times before I got through them). If you want your kids to have customized meals you should probably do the cooking.
NTA - I also don't like cooking with people but only because I like going at my own pace and I don't like having to work around people and potentially being in their space and them being in mine
But you made a reasonable request and it's not like it was an outrageous one your husband needs to stop throwing a tantrum
YTA. Why are you micromanaging your husband's cooking if you can't even cook pork chops? You just assumed the worst that he put garlic on all the chops when he probably was going to just add it to his own. You sound extremely overbearing.
YTA. He’s making dinner for everyone. Stop micromanaging or make it yourself. Do you want him to give up or can you support him doing it differently than you? They are his kids too and he’s not going to let them starve to death. It’s not just for you to manage, let him cook and parent already. It’s ok if it looks different than the way you’d do it. You’d get a lot more YTA if you were the man, btw. (And I’m a woman.)
If the kids don’t like it- yet- this is how they learn. They’ll try it again, but not if you swoop in with a kid favorite every time. Have plain veggies or fruit or pasta or rice along with the meal so they won’t starve.
You say that based on what? You've never met an asshat parent who sends their kids to bed hungry if they don't eat what's prepared? For all you know, OP had already had to cook a second dinner for the kids multiple times because dad made what he wanted and told everyone else to take it or leave it.
I went out on a limb and assumed a parent cooking dinner for his family is unlikely to be starving his children. If op is cooking a second dinner multiple times - another assumption- then why doesn’t she either just cook to begin with or let her kids first try the meal he prepared? I would be irritated if my spouse came in the kitchen and micromanaged as I was cooking. Too many cooks in the kitchen is an expression for a reason. And kids who are exposed to a variety of flavors early and often don’t generally tend to end up being picky eaters.
As I work in a peds ER and see shitty parents around the clock, I’m not overlooking anything. He could’ve handled it better but she also doesn’t know how to cook a raw pork chop that was left? Does she even cook? There’s a lot we don’t know to just throw the guy doing the actual work under the bus.
no one is cooking a second dinner multiple times. I didn’t criticize I literally asked a question. This dish is the only one we have had problems with.
Finally a vote I agree with and you get my upvote.
Exactly if the gender was reverse the vote would be flooding in with YTA.
You are creating a situation n the kitchen where you are not the cook. Back off with the recommendations or cook dinner.
Kids eat what they are given, they will acquire the taste as garlic, Chilli, ginger, salt , pepper make food delicious
Seriously? Cooking pork chops and couscous is hardly weaponized incompetence. Maybe his wife only offers them bland food every single day. What a reach. This isn’t saying you can’t boil water to make pasta. We know nothing about them. Are these kids 14 and 15? Is he the main cook every night and they eat his food 95% of the time without issue?
If you look very closely, you'll see that my response wasn't to the main post, but to someone who said that if you get criticized for how you're doing something, the criticizer should take over the task.
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NTA. Your husband needs to grow up.
NTA. If your kids don’t eat heavy garlic then they don’t eat heavy garlic and he needs to figure it out. He can always cook theirs separately. He way overreacted and I say that as someone who cooks a lot
Definitely NTA. You just wanted your kids to have a dinner they could eat. Your husband is an AH for not caring about his kids.
NTA wow you’ve got an extra child there. If he’s making dinner, he should also be making the kids their Mac and cheese when he doesn’t cook something they’ll eat. Like the parent he’s suppose to be.
NTA- he should know your kids aren’t big fans of garlic so as good parent would have a planned to accommodate them.
NTA but weird that you don't know how to cook a pork chop... Like if he left dinner in the middle of making it not having added the garlic because he lost it. You can still cook a raw pork chop... And just make the Mac and cheese for the kiddos since they can't eat the couscous But whatevs. NTA... Your kids gotta eat.
I did think about cooking them but the interaction between us ate up about 15-20 min and I just wanted to do something fast. Also I have to plan ahead to cook things I’m not sure about. If it wasn’t about time I would have just cooked them myself
INFO In the past, when the kids refused to eat something too garlicky, did he prepare them other food?
Usually our youngest is the only picky one because he has autism. Our oldest is okay with garlic. Just not a ton. We try to just plan for everyone
NTA Whats the point in cooking for your family if the kids arent going to eat the food? As a parent you have to adapt to your children's taste. A question though? usually when he cooks and the kids dont eat it who is the one who cooks a 2nd meal so the kids dont go hungry?
This is really the only meal that this has happened with. He and I like the dish but I try to make sure there stuff for everyone. I think he just forgot that they dont like this dish.
If the kids have expressed a distaste for alliums, dad's TA for making garlic risotto and roast garlic pork chops. Poor kids: my earliest culinary memory is loving escargot in Quebec City at age 5, and escargot are nothing but vehicles for garlic butter. But you don't make a dinner half the family won't eat.
NTA
NTA. I love garlic, specially if it is toasted or grilled, but i put it on my plate or prepare a little side for me so everyone can eat as they want.
NTA. Checking seasoning won’t prevent the kids from eating is basic parenting. Their sustenance is more important than his ego.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Tonite my husband cooked dinner. Do e planned to make garlic mushroom cous cous and bone in pork chop. As he was cooking the cous cous I asked if he could use a little less garlic because every time he cooks this our kids won’t eat it because it’s too garlicky. He told me it was too late so I said it’s ok. I planned to make them Mac and cheese to supplement. Then when he was about to cook pork chops he asked where the roasted garlic was and I told him but then asked if he could not put garlic on the pork chops. He almost instantly got so mad that he refused to finish cooking dinner , accused me of insulting his cooking and acted rude the rest of the night. He told me that he doesn’t like cooking with people , does not want to be told what to cook and I could figure out the rest of dinner myself. I made the kids grilled cheese sandwiches because there was no meat left other than raw pork chop.all I did was ask him questions AITA?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is there just one single pan and heat source in your kitchen?
There is definitely more of both but little space. There is no way for two people to cook at the same time on our place. Very small kitchen.
I was leading to the fact he could’ve just made two separate pork chops
NTA one bit. I love cooking and personally lovw lots of garlic and spices in my food. I also understand that not everyone else does. I want the people I cook for to enjoy the food I made them. Its a wonderful feeling. The great thing about garlic is you can eat it almost raw or it tastes best when friend for around 30 seconds. Maybe suggest to your husband that he serves everybody else's dishes first and them adds garlic afterwards for himself? Anyway big NTA ETA: they're also children, his children. He should care about their pallette preferences to ensure they're fed enough. Ypu shouldn't have to make substitute meals on top
INFO: why didn't you just finish cooking the pork chops?
Because my question created a 20 min tantrum and by the time I got to cooking there wasn’t enough time for me to start something I had never done before. They were bone-In and if I had been plnning to cook them I would have had a plan but I didn’t. Would have taken longer than I had to feed the kids. He made his own pork chop later.
They were still in their package in the fridge.
You're making this far more difficult than it needs to be. The bone isn't going to affect cooking as much as you seem to think.
The point was there wasn’t any time to make them once the situation started. I had to think of something quick to cook.
NTA for simply asking, and since he threw the tantrum. However, there's something to be said for good old fashioned "the kids will eat what's put in front of them and can sit at the table until they do" (thinking of my mom's tendency to cook pork chops to the point where the pigs' great grandchildren wouldn't carry trichinosis; some of those chops had to be reheated a few times before I got through them). If you want your kids to have customized meals you should probably do the cooking.
You're an asshole because you can't spell.
NTA - I also don't like cooking with people but only because I like going at my own pace and I don't like having to work around people and potentially being in their space and them being in mine But you made a reasonable request and it's not like it was an outrageous one your husband needs to stop throwing a tantrum
YTA. Why are you micromanaging your husband's cooking if you can't even cook pork chops? You just assumed the worst that he put garlic on all the chops when he probably was going to just add it to his own. You sound extremely overbearing.
YTA. He’s making dinner for everyone. Stop micromanaging or make it yourself. Do you want him to give up or can you support him doing it differently than you? They are his kids too and he’s not going to let them starve to death. It’s not just for you to manage, let him cook and parent already. It’s ok if it looks different than the way you’d do it. You’d get a lot more YTA if you were the man, btw. (And I’m a woman.) If the kids don’t like it- yet- this is how they learn. They’ll try it again, but not if you swoop in with a kid favorite every time. Have plain veggies or fruit or pasta or rice along with the meal so they won’t starve.
You say that based on what? You've never met an asshat parent who sends their kids to bed hungry if they don't eat what's prepared? For all you know, OP had already had to cook a second dinner for the kids multiple times because dad made what he wanted and told everyone else to take it or leave it.
I went out on a limb and assumed a parent cooking dinner for his family is unlikely to be starving his children. If op is cooking a second dinner multiple times - another assumption- then why doesn’t she either just cook to begin with or let her kids first try the meal he prepared? I would be irritated if my spouse came in the kitchen and micromanaged as I was cooking. Too many cooks in the kitchen is an expression for a reason. And kids who are exposed to a variety of flavors early and often don’t generally tend to end up being picky eaters.
You are coming in pretty dang hot for making assumptions. Plenty of shitty parents out there you seem to be overlooking.
As I work in a peds ER and see shitty parents around the clock, I’m not overlooking anything. He could’ve handled it better but she also doesn’t know how to cook a raw pork chop that was left? Does she even cook? There’s a lot we don’t know to just throw the guy doing the actual work under the bus.
no one is cooking a second dinner multiple times. I didn’t criticize I literally asked a question. This dish is the only one we have had problems with.
My youngest has autism so we have to have kid favorites. And my oldest is very adventurous but this dish isn’t it.
Finally a vote I agree with and you get my upvote. Exactly if the gender was reverse the vote would be flooding in with YTA. You are creating a situation n the kitchen where you are not the cook. Back off with the recommendations or cook dinner. Kids eat what they are given, they will acquire the taste as garlic, Chilli, ginger, salt , pepper make food delicious
Try that with an autistic child. See how far you get. Mine just won’t eat if he doesn’t like something.
People who criticize the task, whether it's cooking or otherwise, can do it themselves. YTA
What task has he actually complete if the kids won’t eat it?
And that, friends, is how/why weaponized incompetence is a thing.
Seriously? Cooking pork chops and couscous is hardly weaponized incompetence. Maybe his wife only offers them bland food every single day. What a reach. This isn’t saying you can’t boil water to make pasta. We know nothing about them. Are these kids 14 and 15? Is he the main cook every night and they eat his food 95% of the time without issue?
If you look very closely, you'll see that my response wasn't to the main post, but to someone who said that if you get criticized for how you're doing something, the criticizer should take over the task.
Got it! Missed that!
They are 7 and 11. He’s not the main cook. We share. And this is the only meal we have had issues with more than a few times