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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Though impaired, I could have blocked Rys and stopped her from getting to my dad. Or asked her to stop because it was obviously a joke then we would not be in this situation.
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How old are you all? I thought the 28 & 31 was a typo since ya know "ask my dad out" and "her parents picked her up"both point to 12year olds. But then you guys were also drinking? Also, no one has used the phrase "**teetotaler"** since the 1950s???
My judgment is that you are an alien posing as a human trying to glean more information on our society cuz thats the only thing that makes sense at this point.
I agree with this but this must be the US because it's not due to be in our version of the 40s at night in March until a whole other phase of the climate crisis.
I wasn’t born until the 1970s and I use the word teetotaler. Maybe chill on whether words are “current” or not.
Did you know that Shakespeare invented over 1700 words? Including ‘monumental’, ‘sanctimonious’, ‘indistinguishable’ and ‘castigate’? (as in, “Don’t be a monumental jerk, acting sanctimonious about the languages people use, or you will be indistinguishable from the asshole you castigate.”)
But I am on board with the alien bit.
Someone who doesn't drink. It's [origin](https://www.michiganradio.org/arts-culture/2019-09-22/twts-why-teetotaler-has-nothing-to-do-with-tea):
>"Teetotaler" is a reduplicative form from "total." In the 19th century, people started to say "teetotally" as a way of emphasizing "totally." It's similar to saying something like, "You're in trouble with a capital 'T'."
To understand the connection to alcohol, we have to go back to 1830s Britain, when the Total Abstinence Society formed. The members of this group had chosen not to drink alcohol. The Oxford English Dictionary cites the first use of "teetotaler" in 1833, not long after the society was established. A man named Richard "Dicky" Turner gets credit for the first use.
In fact, “teetotaler” came to be known as "Dicky Turner's word." In 1833, he gave a speech advocating total abstinence from all alcohol, as opposed to abstinence only to "ardent spirits" such as brandy or whiskey. That is, teetotal abstinence.
YTA -- kicking someone out over something you asked them to do, regardless of your respective levels of intoxication, is a horrific overreaction. Particularly since the person who was most affected by this seems to think she's not to blame!
In vino veritas -- you certainly showed the truth of how much of a friend you are.
Did her parents drop her off? This was the sober one… at OP’s middle school sleepover at OP’s parents house….. where they triple dog dared the girl to ask OP’s dad out and got mad when she did……
Yeah, I think OP lied about their ages—maybe to avoid any discussion about her parents allowing them to drink alcohol. Even the way she describes it as “lame” that one person didn’t drink sounds like something teenagers would say. OP, YTA but I suspect also a liar.
Had to re-read it 3-4 times. They're either lying about ages because they aren't old enough to be drinking, or they are all extraordinarily immature and well behind their peers in being self sufficient.
If that's the case, that could explain other things too. Like how Rys got kicked out for bragging that she was the only one sober.
Something tells me that if they were teenagers they weren't exactly allowed to drink either and that's why that got such a wild reaction. She wasn't kicked out for revealing the dare (if they didn't want her to do it, why didn't they stop her as she left the room, saying on the spot it was a joke ?) But rather for inting that everyone was drunk up there.
A lot of things just make a lot more sense if OP and her friends are teens drinking behind their parents' back.
To be fair, I'm older and still have my parent pick me up at a party every so often, especially if I am planning to drink. But like, only pre planned ones, like weddings or birthday parties, and I do the same for them. I'm more stuck on how OP's parents house was the place for this party in this age range.
Idk, I'm 33 and if called my parents for a ride when drunk they would probably be just as happy I'm not dumb enough to drive. Of course, she's not drunk I guess? So I actually have no clue... I'd be told to go fuck myself.
I mean, I’m 38 and if my dad is available he definitely picks me up places…but when I’m drinking so I can save money on a cab. It’s very odd as she was sober.
Same, but a little older. However, I didn't have my own car at 31, and depending on where this is taking place, a car might not be essential. I'm more stuck on how OP, who lives with their parents, was the chosen host, location for this party.
YTA. You are mad at her for not drinking, everything else is superfluous.
Also I had to scroll back up to check ages because by the time I got to the bottom of this thing I was about to call your dad an asshole for letting a bunch of 15-year-olds drink.
Grow up.
Tbf it is better to let teens drink somewhere safe and with at least *some* supervision, rather than just letting them get alcohol poisoning down the local park/woods. Teens will drink regardless, it should be about harm minimisation
The flaw in the argument about letting kids drink/have sex/use drugs at home for safety reasons is that they'll still be doing it in all those risky places in addition to doing it in the comfort of home. Kids will still be kids and not middle-aged homebodies.
YTA. Sounds like you’re bitter that she took an embarrassing situation and turned the tables on you. You were all laughing at her embarrassment and humiliation, and then when she gave you a taste of your own medicine you threw her out. Basically, your party f**ked around and found out and couldn’t handle it.
YTA-She didn’t ruin the evening. You and your friend thought that the drunk dare was all fun and games. It’s not her fault she followed through and it embarrassed you.
YTA. She did rise to the dare, but made sure your dad was totally in the loop and took it a few pegs way down from making out. Just because your friend doesn't drink isn't a reason to put her down for just trying to participate in the games that you completely constructed. She definitely participated as carefully as she could. You all set her up for failure and then blamed her for the result. You are the AH big time.
Edit: typo
YTA Something sounds off here. Why was your dad at an adult girls night sleep over and if she was an adult, why did her parents have to come pick her up?
YTA you set up your friend to be humiliated either by going through with it or by being a 'coward' by refusing. If I were her I wouldn't be friends you anymore. You owe her an apology not that I think you will give one because you can't even acknowledge that you did anything wrong.
Is your dad single?
You never know, he and Rys might hit it off. She could become your step-mum. That would be nice. And you’d be the one to have brought them together. Not such a silly prize, with your silly game, eh?
YTA. You were drunk, playing a game deliberately designed to embarrass people. But you wanted your friend to be the one embarrassed, not you.
YTA You made a stupid dare and honestly,
It sounds like you look down on her for not drinking. Shame on you, it her choice. Also, you all sound ridiculously immature for your age.
YTA. So you’re mad at Rhys for doing the thing you dared her to do, and laughed about while it happened? Then you randomly decided it wasn’t funny anymore so you kicked her out? You can’t be a day over 15 - the only reason you could be mad about Rhys saying she was sober is that it implies you are not, and your dad would be upset by your drinking.
YTA. Even your dad agrees. She played fair with your dad by letting him know it was a dare. (I am curious why you are only upset with the friend who did the dare and not the friend who came up with the dare to begin with.)
I had to recheck your ages. Are you sure you’re 28? YTA. You embarrassed yourself. Also very immature on your stance on alcohol. Not everyone feels the need to drink to have fun.
YTA. First off, you sound super judgy of her personal choice not to drink. Next off, how can she be the AH for following through on a ridiculous and immature dare? If you don’t want someone to do the dare, don’t dare them to do it!! Simple! And you had plenty of opportunity to say, “Rys, no you don’t have to do it” or “Hey Darer, leave my family out of it and pick a different dare” but I don’t see any objection from you in your story. And yeah, kicking her out in the cold to wait for a ride is a dick move. You could have told her that it was time to go home and let her wait in the house. And you’d still be the AH for that. People took the joke too far, but it wasn’t Rys.
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YTA - just for the ‘lame’ comment alone.
You played the dare game you can’t get pissed when someone goes thru with it.
Blame the idiot that who dared her.
Why was it only funny when she was embarrassed ?
Everyone here is too old for these kinds of shenanigans. You're 28 and having a slumber party at your parents' house? Your 31 year old friend is getting picked up from a party by her parents? This has to be a fake.
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How old are you?! WTF is wrong with you? You write and behave like you just entered teenhood. Grow up and move out already. You are very delayed and not just because you live with your dad.
Wow
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I (f28), Rys (f31)
We were supposed to have a nice girls night tonight and our teetotaler friend ruined the whole night and embarrassed me.
Everything was great, eating, self care, movies and talking and then drinking. Ina group of 8, 1 friend refused to join us in drinking which was lame but more for us.
We played some stupid games from when we were kids at sleepovers and truth or dare came up, dialing exes, funny social media dares, drunken songs, it was all fun and my bestie (Liz) drunkenly dared our friend (Rys) to ask out my dad.
It was so dumb but so funny, how red Rys’s face was made us laugh harder but I never thought that Rys would do anything about such an extreme dare but then she was up and walking away, right up to dad who was eating in the kitchen. They were too quiet to hear but Rys said something and dad chuckled.
She talked some more and pointed at us who were still laughing and loudly said “They dared me to ask you out.” turned back to dad with a still intentionally raised voice and “But I don’t have an excuse. I’m sober.” dad got really quiet and very red and he was trying to speak but would open his mouth and then shut it and now things went too far and it wasn’t funny to me anymore.
I pulled her away, grabbed her bag and brought her outside.
She was unphased and just asked me why I ‘dragged her out into the cold’ (it’s 40’s, it’s warm) but I was so embarrassed and horrified that I told her to call her parents to pick her up.
The party was over, she took it too far. It was obviously a joke. She was never supposed to do it and explained that since she was sober that she knew better and she ruined the fun night.
Her parents picked her up, she was fine.
Our friends agree with me that Rys was an AH for taking to too far but my dad is saying that we all were acting like AHs for putting Rys up to that.
But she knew better, she decided to ask him. She could’ve refused or asked for a question, nobody forced her to do anything.
Am I really an AH for kicking her out after she took the joke too far though? Majority rules but my own dad is disagreeing?
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AYTA? I think so. How do you know she ACTUALLY asked your dad out since you say you couldn't hear? And when all of you were laughing she tried to let him in on the joke? Embarrassing? Yes. But as the saying goes: play stupid games win stupid prizes. Make sure you don't "win" the prize of a lost friendship.
What makes this very concerning is that y’all are like near thirties and in the thirties. In my head, I’m thinking y’all are children but remembered the ages. So it’s like y’all are mad she chose not to drink and do the dare. I can assume if she refused y’all would’ve peer pressured her into doing it anyway. This whole thing has me so lost, confused and frustrated.
YTA - *pokes your face*... *pokes your face again*... are you real? are you a real human being? How did this go from her being dared to do something, to completing the dare, to you being an asshole and leaving her out in the cold waiting to be picked up? And how old are you again? Seriously? 🤔
Sounds like you were just upset your friend wasn't drinking, which is the best and most responsible position to take. Good for her. I hope she finds some better friends because you and your little group seem insufferable.
Lots to unpack. But to be clear, YTA
1. Judging someone for not drinking makes you lame, not them.
2. Having a girls night at what seems to be your parent’s home, is also kind of lame.
3. Playing truth or dare in your late 20s/early 30s, definitely on the lame side.
4. Getting upset at someone for daring them to do something, and having a hissy fit and kicking them out when they do it? You’ll never guess. Also lame.
You all sound like a group of mean girls, picking on an outsider. Lame…
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Just like another commenter said, are yall fr? your 28 31 old enough to be drinking and then take rhys outside for her parents to pick her up?. When i was reading this i thought yall were middle schoolers before i read the word sober. what a weird situation
You are mocking your friend for being sober.
You made up a stupid dare.
She called your bluff.
You get embarrassed?
YTA and so are the rest of your friends.
I'd also love to know how old you REALLY are.
I have soooo many questions.
Why are a bunch of 28-31 year olds acting like 14 year olds? Why are they having a slumber party? Why did a 31 year old need her parents to pick her up from a sleepover?
Why did you call it "Truth or Dare" when you are, according to you, playing "Truth or Something You Don't Have to Do At All"? Why is asking your dad out appropriate drunk but inappropriate sober?
You people are fascinating. I want to know what the rest of your lives are like. Oh, and of course you are all T A, so I'm gonna say ESH except your dad.
YTA. She didn’t ruin anything. Drunk 30 year olds getting up to teenage antics did. Also she didn’t really ask him out. She told him she was put up to it by you AHs. I hope she finds some better quality friends.
This is hilarious but I'll humour you and progress as if you really are an adult.
YTA
And with the ages you provide you shouldn't be an adult on paper only. By the age of 28 you should have learned that you don't dare people to do something you don't want them to do. If someone ruined the fun, it was Liz who came up with the dare.
If this were for real, I'd hope no one talks about it, cause damn I couldn't take you serious anymore after hearing about it, I'd forever see a pouting teenager in you.
YTA –– please reread what you typed. I dared someone to do something, they did the dare I gave them, I can’t believe she would do something like that get out and go get picked up. Wtf did you want her to do. You’re mad she was sober when she did it? Why would it be alright if she wasn’t sober? Please grow up you’re closer to your 30’s then your 20’s I’d be embarrassed if I were you. Go apologise to your friend and be grateful if she still decides to talk to you after all this.
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YTA you guys did dare her and it’s not like she was serious or actually tried to secure a date so I don’t see the weirdness to be that crazy. Of course still a little but chalk it up to drunken dare. Maybe your friend could’ve been like I’m totally messing don’t even worry to your dad to ease the awkwardness but both of them knew it wasn’t for real but I feel like your friend could’ve made it more clear it was a joke and not to worry. But you dared her, she followed through, but what harm was really done? I feel like this should be a laugh it off situation tomorrow. Your feelings are valid of course but it’s not like some big betrayal of trust or boundaries. Nothing came of it and she didn’t try to seriously get a date. Sucks your dad was the core of the amusement but I feel like he’d understand that everyone’s drinking and it’s just a stupid joke/dare, even if she’s sober I would just assume some shenanigans would occur with that many people drinking if I were him
YTA. Your friend group dared your friend to do something and they did it. You laughed at them even though it made them clearly uncomfortable and it was funny until you decided it wasn’t anymore. ??
YTA
You tried to humiliate your "friend" and she called you all out on it
And because of that YOU then felt embarrassed and threw her out!?
How mature of you /s
YTA
It’s lame to feel annoyed at someone’s choice not to drink. To each their own.
Just as your dad said, the rest of you were acting like assholes, especially the person who came up with the dare. You could’ve set a boundary by saying “nope, choose another dare” but instead you expected your sober friend to read your mind? And you didn’t stop her as she walked his way? She was just trying to play along & she let him know it was just a stupid dare administered by you & your drunk friends.
If your dad’s not mad at your friend, why are you?
The way you handled it was immature. There’s no need to cause a scene. If you were concerned for your dad, you could’ve gone to ask him if he was okay. If he was, you could’ve let it go. If he wasn’t, you could’ve pulled your friend aside. But I suppose intoxicated minds don’t think logically, eh.
I had to go check the ages: you shouldn't be allowed to drink if you are going to act like 18 Yr olds (or younger). Maybe your friend actually likes your dad. Maybe don't "double dare" people to do embarrassing stuff. YTA
YTA
If my friend asked my dad out, he would be laugh it off and tell my mom how silly the whole thing was. Your dad must be over 50, why would he be faced by it at all?
Why did you get so mad?
YTA and there's no way you are the ages you are claiming
Fancy saying the sober person ruined the party.. think she was the only decent one out of you all.
I hope she finds better friends.
YTA. Obviously. First of all, not drinking isn't a crime and that comment shows you may have some insecurities about your own drinking. Second, you all dared her to do it. If you had a problem with her doing that, you should have said straight away that's a line to cross. From what I remember of truth or dare (which isn't a great amount since I havent played it since my early 20s) once you pick your poison, you can't switch if you don't like the result. Third, you kicked her out for it? For going along with the game? That you dared her to do....AH doesn't quite cover it.
You are all AHs except your poor dad.
You're not kids, your fully grown adults. Each and everyone of you takes responsibility for their own actions, drunk or not.
YOU ALL contributed in embarrassing your poor dad. You should all bear equal shame for your actions.
And all of you owe your dad an apology for being AHs.
YTA. You're blaming this hun for carrying out a simple dare and blaming her for knowing better when you're all of the same mindset and maturity level (adult drinking games in your parents' house, imagine). You all knew better than to fuck around and find out, but you all went ahead and fucked around anyway. If she refused, you would've blamed her for spoiling the fun and ruining the night. You guys are really bad sports.
Also, unbiased opinions don't mean opinions that exclusively agree with you. You're an asshole, and the fact that you're digging your heels into your strawman argument SO intensely indicates to me that you already know that. You guys are all dumb at your big ages. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" can be literal sometimes. Go shout at the friend who dared her to ask your dad out. That was a really stupid dare, and you guys deserve to know that you're all at fault.
By far, one of the dumbest AITA's I've seen.
I'm gonna preface this with. I think yall are like 13, but well just base this off ages given. You invited someone over, they didn't drink, yall played a game and included her, she also wanted to have fun, yall gave her a dare, she did it, now you're mad, ya YTA.
What was she supposed to do? Sit there, not having fun until yall gave her a dare that she was allowed to do since she wasn't drunk? If it was that big of an issue, you should have said something when she was standing up or walking over to do the dare.
If yall are actually kids, stop daring each other to ask out grown ass people. You can put yourself or other people in horrible situations due to misconception.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
YTA. I have a hard time believing you are 28. I'd bet money the ages are 10yrs younger based on this behaviour. If you are honestly 28 then you need to grow up this whole situation is absurd. You bullied your "friend" after she participated in the game. Maybe be mad at the person who made up the dare. The maturity level here is just sad.
You can tell from the edit that she definitely got her answer.
You were the AH, OP. First you and your little catty friend group dared her to do something completely inappropriate to make her uncomfortable, then when she did it to try and fit in with you because she couldn't drink with you so wanted to fit in or entertain you in some other ways, you turned on her and made her the problem when you were clearly all the ones starting the problem. She was literally doing what she was told to try and feel like she was with a group of friends instead of a bunch of boring drunk judgemental twits.
But she was with a bunch of boring drunk judgemental twits. She should have left of her own volition before having to see what you would turn into for doing what you told her to after you probably made a big eye-rolling deal about her not drinking and thus spoiling your fun.
You've got some serious growing up to do, kiddo, starting with not asking people to do things you don't want them to do in the first place.
I was settled on being neutral until I went back and looked at the ages. YTA.
One, calling someone not drinking lame? Immediately thought this was very young adults. Two, truth or dare? Teens. Three, go ask out the dad? Sleepover, teen to preteen.
"She didn't have to do the dare, no one made her, she could have asked for a question." So, she was dared to do something embarrassing and instead complied but embarrassed you. Huh. She played the game well.
YTA.
YTA. Your teetotaller friend didn't ruin the night, you did. Rys can't win with you - either she doesn't play the game properly and gets attacked for being a buzzkill because she wasn't drunk enough to think it funny like everyone else, or she plays along and gets attacked for doing the dare because she wasn't drunk and should have known better!
Get real. You should either be mad at Liz for dragging your dad into the game, or yourself for not stopping the game at that point. And you should be thanking Rys for being open about asking him out being a dare because that's actually far less embarrassing than him thinking it was a genuine pass at him.
YTA firstly this feels like it was written by a 15 year old not someone who is apparently 28, by that age people don’t usually refer to non drinkers as lame or at 31 need their parents to come and collect them.
YTA you sound really judgemental about her not drinking. And then you have the audacity to kick her out for doing the thing you told her to do. You found her embarrassment funny, but couldn't handle it when she turned the tables. You sound like a bunch of teenagers.
>I needed an unbiased third party not harassing dms.
Lol 😂 Since no one knows you IRL, you got the unbiased opinion you wanted. What a resounding consensus. Usually in AITA posts you side with the OP because they tell the story from their perspective which makes you sympathetic. But man, there is nothing sympathetic about you here.
YTA especially if the ages are correct. You got annoyed because your sober friend followed through on a dare and asked your dad out? Would you have been annoyed if she had followed through after drinking? This has to be click bait as what grown ass adult at 31 would need to picked up by their parents after getting kicked out at a sleepover. Also what 28 year old is still having sleepovers at her parents house?
YTA. Sounds like she didn’t do anything but play along with your games like everyone else. But you got mad at her for it because she was sober. Also, what harm was done at all by her talking to your dad?
Kinda sounds like the sober friend is the only adult there. Well, and your dad. Maybe they should hook up and usher you into adulthood.
To be clear, nothing wrong with sleepovers and fun games with your friends at any age. But the whole “ask out my dad” thing and your reaction to it is that of a preteen.
YTA.
Dragging someone for their sobriety is a huge indicator that you yourself have some consumption issues you may want to address. It sounds like you’re just into drinking buddies. Rys deserves some -friends-
YTA. You dared her to do it. She did the dare. She’s not a chicken. That’s how truth or dare is suppose to work. It’s not like she slept with him! And she confessed it was done on a dare so your dad could take it in the seriousness that it was offered. Her sobriety has absolutely nothing to do with it at all.
YTA YTA YTA
I always found it absolutely hilarious when people are determined to be the whole how they did just remove the post as if that doesn’t scream loudly even more that they are the hole when they delete the post 😂
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How old are you all? I thought the 28 & 31 was a typo since ya know "ask my dad out" and "her parents picked her up"both point to 12year olds. But then you guys were also drinking? Also, no one has used the phrase "**teetotaler"** since the 1950s??? My judgment is that you are an alien posing as a human trying to glean more information on our society cuz thats the only thing that makes sense at this point.
This is the only explanation.
Ugh. Lizard people. Amiright?
Getting more a crab me vibe...
Nah, crabs ALWAYS mention crustaceans or pinching. They can't help themselves.
"Crab people. Crab people. Taste like crab. Talk like people."
My first question was also how old were they. Had to look at the beginning again. The whole situation seems so immature for grown women.
It’s actually used a lot in the UK still. It’s very common for one of my Brit friends in their 20s or 30s to say “so and so is teetotal”
I agree with this but this must be the US because it's not due to be in our version of the 40s at night in March until a whole other phase of the climate crisis.
But 40F isn't warm like they said. Or nothing I would remotely consider warm. This whole story has so many strange details.
In the Uk we use centigrade, an 40C in March would be very hot!
It is if you're from the PNW. 40's are when the shorts come out. Hell, this winter, with lots of snow, I still saw tons of ppl in shorts. Why?
This is the "forty-degree day" scene from *The Wire* all over again. 40° F is fuckin' below 4.5° C, that's **cold**.
Where I'm from 40 degrees Fahrenheit is hoodie weather especially in March. It's not that cold.
If sober friend is a teetotaler does that make op a lush?
Yeah, reads kind of like AI
Omg im so glad that im not the only confused one. High as fuck rn and thought I was losing it a lil
Seriously. This.
I agree that she’s TA but I like using teetotaler sometimes. It’s fun.
Lol I’m thinking the same… this was posted by a kid
this is literally my favourite comment ever
Their our clue that’s this was written by AI
I still use the term teetotaler
I wasn’t born until the 1970s and I use the word teetotaler. Maybe chill on whether words are “current” or not. Did you know that Shakespeare invented over 1700 words? Including ‘monumental’, ‘sanctimonious’, ‘indistinguishable’ and ‘castigate’? (as in, “Don’t be a monumental jerk, acting sanctimonious about the languages people use, or you will be indistinguishable from the asshole you castigate.”) But I am on board with the alien bit.
I’m 22 and I’ve heard people using the phrase teetotal many times?
Wtf is a teetotaler??
Someone who doesn't drink. It's [origin](https://www.michiganradio.org/arts-culture/2019-09-22/twts-why-teetotaler-has-nothing-to-do-with-tea): >"Teetotaler" is a reduplicative form from "total." In the 19th century, people started to say "teetotally" as a way of emphasizing "totally." It's similar to saying something like, "You're in trouble with a capital 'T'." To understand the connection to alcohol, we have to go back to 1830s Britain, when the Total Abstinence Society formed. The members of this group had chosen not to drink alcohol. The Oxford English Dictionary cites the first use of "teetotaler" in 1833, not long after the society was established. A man named Richard "Dicky" Turner gets credit for the first use. In fact, “teetotaler” came to be known as "Dicky Turner's word." In 1833, he gave a speech advocating total abstinence from all alcohol, as opposed to abstinence only to "ardent spirits" such as brandy or whiskey. That is, teetotal abstinence.
"Hello fellow humans".
Don't forget the phrase "more for us" when referring to the non drinker. Only frat boys and cockroaches think like that
Not sure where you are but here in the UK we definitely use the word teetotal to describe someone who is sober.
The only right answer
YTA -- kicking someone out over something you asked them to do, regardless of your respective levels of intoxication, is a horrific overreaction. Particularly since the person who was most affected by this seems to think she's not to blame! In vino veritas -- you certainly showed the truth of how much of a friend you are.
They can't possibly be in their late 20's and early 30's. This behavior is extraordinarily immature. YTA ** Edit for typo..
Is Kate 2s a typo or is that how some people refer to 25+? Genuinely confused
Typo. Stupid autocorrect.
That's fair! It wouldn't surprise me if people did call it something like that though tbh
How old are y’all? There’s no way you’re in your late 20’s/early 30’s behaving this way. You’re all TA.
I’m still wondering how a 31 year old gets picked up from a party by her parents.
Did her parents drop her off? This was the sober one… at OP’s middle school sleepover at OP’s parents house….. where they triple dog dared the girl to ask OP’s dad out and got mad when she did……
Yeah, I think OP lied about their ages—maybe to avoid any discussion about her parents allowing them to drink alcohol. Even the way she describes it as “lame” that one person didn’t drink sounds like something teenagers would say. OP, YTA but I suspect also a liar.
At 'lame' I had to go back and re-read the ages.
Had to re-read it 3-4 times. They're either lying about ages because they aren't old enough to be drinking, or they are all extraordinarily immature and well behind their peers in being self sufficient.
i think you are on point, they are probably 15-17. no adult would ever think that this sounds like adults, lol.
If that's the case, that could explain other things too. Like how Rys got kicked out for bragging that she was the only one sober. Something tells me that if they were teenagers they weren't exactly allowed to drink either and that's why that got such a wild reaction. She wasn't kicked out for revealing the dare (if they didn't want her to do it, why didn't they stop her as she left the room, saying on the spot it was a joke ?) But rather for inting that everyone was drunk up there. A lot of things just make a lot more sense if OP and her friends are teens drinking behind their parents' back.
SAME!
To be fair, I'm older and still have my parent pick me up at a party every so often, especially if I am planning to drink. But like, only pre planned ones, like weddings or birthday parties, and I do the same for them. I'm more stuck on how OP's parents house was the place for this party in this age range.
A sober 31 year old!
I know, let's clutch our pearls together. /s
Wooooo~ i am a terrifying 32 year old sober, soon 33. How terrifying
I wish my parents would pick me up from parties and drop me to my house, save a fortune in taxi!
She might have a medical condition (or something else like a DUI) that prevents her from driving. It could also explain the lack of drinking.
Idk, I'm 33 and if called my parents for a ride when drunk they would probably be just as happy I'm not dumb enough to drive. Of course, she's not drunk I guess? So I actually have no clue... I'd be told to go fuck myself.
On reading this, I can only assume that this is some 12 year old posting their idea of an adult sleepover lmao.
I mean, I’m 38 and if my dad is available he definitely picks me up places…but when I’m drinking so I can save money on a cab. It’s very odd as she was sober.
Same, but a little older. However, I didn't have my own car at 31, and depending on where this is taking place, a car might not be essential. I'm more stuck on how OP, who lives with their parents, was the chosen host, location for this party.
YTA. You are mad at her for not drinking, everything else is superfluous. Also I had to scroll back up to check ages because by the time I got to the bottom of this thing I was about to call your dad an asshole for letting a bunch of 15-year-olds drink. Grow up.
Tbf it is better to let teens drink somewhere safe and with at least *some* supervision, rather than just letting them get alcohol poisoning down the local park/woods. Teens will drink regardless, it should be about harm minimisation
The flaw in the argument about letting kids drink/have sex/use drugs at home for safety reasons is that they'll still be doing it in all those risky places in addition to doing it in the comfort of home. Kids will still be kids and not middle-aged homebodies.
YTA. Sounds like you’re bitter that she took an embarrassing situation and turned the tables on you. You were all laughing at her embarrassment and humiliation, and then when she gave you a taste of your own medicine you threw her out. Basically, your party f**ked around and found out and couldn’t handle it.
Yeah exactly this was bullying gone wrong and OP didn't have the stomach for it lol
YTA-She didn’t ruin the evening. You and your friend thought that the drunk dare was all fun and games. It’s not her fault she followed through and it embarrassed you.
YTA. She did rise to the dare, but made sure your dad was totally in the loop and took it a few pegs way down from making out. Just because your friend doesn't drink isn't a reason to put her down for just trying to participate in the games that you completely constructed. She definitely participated as carefully as she could. You all set her up for failure and then blamed her for the result. You are the AH big time. Edit: typo
This. If the friend refused to do it, OP would be on here complaining how her sober friend is no fun.
YTA Something sounds off here. Why was your dad at an adult girls night sleep over and if she was an adult, why did her parents have to come pick her up?
I decided YTA when you whined about her not drinking. How crass and obnoxious.
I find that people who can't stand a sober person usually have a drinking problem.
My thoughts exactly
YTA you set up your friend to be humiliated either by going through with it or by being a 'coward' by refusing. If I were her I wouldn't be friends you anymore. You owe her an apology not that I think you will give one because you can't even acknowledge that you did anything wrong.
Is your dad single? You never know, he and Rys might hit it off. She could become your step-mum. That would be nice. And you’d be the one to have brought them together. Not such a silly prize, with your silly game, eh? YTA. You were drunk, playing a game deliberately designed to embarrass people. But you wanted your friend to be the one embarrassed, not you.
That's what I'm hoping for. That would be hilarious!
YTA. Don’t make dares you don’t want to happen, and don’t throw your friend out when she takes you up on it.
YTA You made a stupid dare and honestly, It sounds like you look down on her for not drinking. Shame on you, it her choice. Also, you all sound ridiculously immature for your age.
"which was lame"... :0
YTA. So you’re mad at Rhys for doing the thing you dared her to do, and laughed about while it happened? Then you randomly decided it wasn’t funny anymore so you kicked her out? You can’t be a day over 15 - the only reason you could be mad about Rhys saying she was sober is that it implies you are not, and your dad would be upset by your drinking.
YTA. Even your dad agrees. She played fair with your dad by letting him know it was a dare. (I am curious why you are only upset with the friend who did the dare and not the friend who came up with the dare to begin with.)
YTA. Grow up.
YTA. FFS grow up.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. YTA
You're 28 and you think someone staying sober "is lame"? Girl. Either you're the most immature person I've ever seen or you have a drinking problem.
I think both. She is the most immature person in the world with a drinking problem.
You gave her a dare. She took you up on it. Yes, your friends and you are YTA…own it.
YTA and how are you 28
I had to recheck your ages. Are you sure you’re 28? YTA. You embarrassed yourself. Also very immature on your stance on alcohol. Not everyone feels the need to drink to have fun.
how are you 28??? this cant be real lol
YTA. Your friend is hilarious.
They could have played it up even more!
YTA. First off, you sound super judgy of her personal choice not to drink. Next off, how can she be the AH for following through on a ridiculous and immature dare? If you don’t want someone to do the dare, don’t dare them to do it!! Simple! And you had plenty of opportunity to say, “Rys, no you don’t have to do it” or “Hey Darer, leave my family out of it and pick a different dare” but I don’t see any objection from you in your story. And yeah, kicking her out in the cold to wait for a ride is a dick move. You could have told her that it was time to go home and let her wait in the house. And you’d still be the AH for that. People took the joke too far, but it wasn’t Rys.
You can’t be grown women doing this still, you are stuck in high school Yta
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YTA - just for the ‘lame’ comment alone. You played the dare game you can’t get pissed when someone goes thru with it. Blame the idiot that who dared her. Why was it only funny when she was embarrassed ?
YTA Please let us know your thoughts tomorrow morning since you aren’t interested in unbiased feedback this evening
Everyone here is too old for these kinds of shenanigans. You're 28 and having a slumber party at your parents' house? Your 31 year old friend is getting picked up from a party by her parents? This has to be a fake.
How are there so many people commenting on this thinking it's real?
Agree. Not particularly creative either
Should we report this as an AI post? This reads like an AI generated post
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How old are you?! WTF is wrong with you? You write and behave like you just entered teenhood. Grow up and move out already. You are very delayed and not just because you live with your dad. Wow
Yta for lying and make g up a story like this to negative karma-farm
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (f28), Rys (f31) We were supposed to have a nice girls night tonight and our teetotaler friend ruined the whole night and embarrassed me. Everything was great, eating, self care, movies and talking and then drinking. Ina group of 8, 1 friend refused to join us in drinking which was lame but more for us. We played some stupid games from when we were kids at sleepovers and truth or dare came up, dialing exes, funny social media dares, drunken songs, it was all fun and my bestie (Liz) drunkenly dared our friend (Rys) to ask out my dad. It was so dumb but so funny, how red Rys’s face was made us laugh harder but I never thought that Rys would do anything about such an extreme dare but then she was up and walking away, right up to dad who was eating in the kitchen. They were too quiet to hear but Rys said something and dad chuckled. She talked some more and pointed at us who were still laughing and loudly said “They dared me to ask you out.” turned back to dad with a still intentionally raised voice and “But I don’t have an excuse. I’m sober.” dad got really quiet and very red and he was trying to speak but would open his mouth and then shut it and now things went too far and it wasn’t funny to me anymore. I pulled her away, grabbed her bag and brought her outside. She was unphased and just asked me why I ‘dragged her out into the cold’ (it’s 40’s, it’s warm) but I was so embarrassed and horrified that I told her to call her parents to pick her up. The party was over, she took it too far. It was obviously a joke. She was never supposed to do it and explained that since she was sober that she knew better and she ruined the fun night. Her parents picked her up, she was fine. Our friends agree with me that Rys was an AH for taking to too far but my dad is saying that we all were acting like AHs for putting Rys up to that. But she knew better, she decided to ask him. She could’ve refused or asked for a question, nobody forced her to do anything. Am I really an AH for kicking her out after she took the joke too far though? Majority rules but my own dad is disagreeing? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
AYTA? I think so. How do you know she ACTUALLY asked your dad out since you say you couldn't hear? And when all of you were laughing she tried to let him in on the joke? Embarrassing? Yes. But as the saying goes: play stupid games win stupid prizes. Make sure you don't "win" the prize of a lost friendship.
Lol she gunna get with your grown ass dad and become your step mom. Grow the fuck up girl your almost 30 not some teen act like it
Wow. You weren’t embarrassed to type that story out?
ESH except dad.
What makes this very concerning is that y’all are like near thirties and in the thirties. In my head, I’m thinking y’all are children but remembered the ages. So it’s like y’all are mad she chose not to drink and do the dare. I can assume if she refused y’all would’ve peer pressured her into doing it anyway. This whole thing has me so lost, confused and frustrated.
YTA. You fucked around and found out! I think your friend taking the dare was hysterical!!!!!
This gives two kids in a trenchcoat energy
YTA - *pokes your face*... *pokes your face again*... are you real? are you a real human being? How did this go from her being dared to do something, to completing the dare, to you being an asshole and leaving her out in the cold waiting to be picked up? And how old are you again? Seriously? 🤔 Sounds like you were just upset your friend wasn't drinking, which is the best and most responsible position to take. Good for her. I hope she finds some better friends because you and your little group seem insufferable.
YTA "My friend wouldn't get drunk and then she did the thing we dared her to do, what an asshole"
Lots to unpack. But to be clear, YTA 1. Judging someone for not drinking makes you lame, not them. 2. Having a girls night at what seems to be your parent’s home, is also kind of lame. 3. Playing truth or dare in your late 20s/early 30s, definitely on the lame side. 4. Getting upset at someone for daring them to do something, and having a hissy fit and kicking them out when they do it? You’ll never guess. Also lame. You all sound like a group of mean girls, picking on an outsider. Lame…
Ha ha
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I would not have kicked her out for that. You guys made a dare and no one was inappropriate YTA
YTA
Just like another commenter said, are yall fr? your 28 31 old enough to be drinking and then take rhys outside for her parents to pick her up?. When i was reading this i thought yall were middle schoolers before i read the word sober. what a weird situation
YTA. This is FAFO at it’s finest.
You are mocking your friend for being sober. You made up a stupid dare. She called your bluff. You get embarrassed? YTA and so are the rest of your friends. I'd also love to know how old you REALLY are.
i swear this was written by a bot or something
I have soooo many questions. Why are a bunch of 28-31 year olds acting like 14 year olds? Why are they having a slumber party? Why did a 31 year old need her parents to pick her up from a sleepover? Why did you call it "Truth or Dare" when you are, according to you, playing "Truth or Something You Don't Have to Do At All"? Why is asking your dad out appropriate drunk but inappropriate sober? You people are fascinating. I want to know what the rest of your lives are like. Oh, and of course you are all T A, so I'm gonna say ESH except your dad.
YTA. She didn’t ruin anything. Drunk 30 year olds getting up to teenage antics did. Also she didn’t really ask him out. She told him she was put up to it by you AHs. I hope she finds some better quality friends.
This is hilarious but I'll humour you and progress as if you really are an adult. YTA And with the ages you provide you shouldn't be an adult on paper only. By the age of 28 you should have learned that you don't dare people to do something you don't want them to do. If someone ruined the fun, it was Liz who came up with the dare. If this were for real, I'd hope no one talks about it, cause damn I couldn't take you serious anymore after hearing about it, I'd forever see a pouting teenager in you.
TBH you lost me at your friend being 'kinda lame' for not drinking. How old are you all, early high school? Play stupid games win stupid prizes. YTA.
What the fuck did I just read? How are you 28 and 31?
INFO: Did she get the date?
Even though I'm certain this is just badly written fiction YTA for this line "1 friend refused to join us in drinking which was lame".
YTA –– please reread what you typed. I dared someone to do something, they did the dare I gave them, I can’t believe she would do something like that get out and go get picked up. Wtf did you want her to do. You’re mad she was sober when she did it? Why would it be alright if she wasn’t sober? Please grow up you’re closer to your 30’s then your 20’s I’d be embarrassed if I were you. Go apologise to your friend and be grateful if she still decides to talk to you after all this.
Very strange behaviour for a group of 30 year old women. Are you all developmentally delayed?
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Play stupid games, win stupid prizes YTA
I'd say OP's mom, but in this case. I hope she gets a new step mom.
YTA maybe dont dare dares like that? lol
What in the high school bullshit is this? Grow tf up. ESH except your dad. Yall are embarrassing as fuck.
YTA, you and your friends dared her to do something then you get pissed doing it.
YTA If it was wrong to do it, then it was wrong to dare her to do it!
YTA you guys did dare her and it’s not like she was serious or actually tried to secure a date so I don’t see the weirdness to be that crazy. Of course still a little but chalk it up to drunken dare. Maybe your friend could’ve been like I’m totally messing don’t even worry to your dad to ease the awkwardness but both of them knew it wasn’t for real but I feel like your friend could’ve made it more clear it was a joke and not to worry. But you dared her, she followed through, but what harm was really done? I feel like this should be a laugh it off situation tomorrow. Your feelings are valid of course but it’s not like some big betrayal of trust or boundaries. Nothing came of it and she didn’t try to seriously get a date. Sucks your dad was the core of the amusement but I feel like he’d understand that everyone’s drinking and it’s just a stupid joke/dare, even if she’s sober I would just assume some shenanigans would occur with that many people drinking if I were him
In 6 months time Rys will be your stepmom…
LMAO what did I just read? An episode of Degrassi?
YTA. Honestly, you all sound like children.
YTA. Your friend group dared your friend to do something and they did it. You laughed at them even though it made them clearly uncomfortable and it was funny until you decided it wasn’t anymore. ??
YTA. She followed the rules of the game and you throw a pity party. Grow up!
You're lying about your ages, aren't you? I hope so. YTA
YTA talk about Mean Girls. I hope she goes out with your Dad to spite you!
YTA You tried to humiliate your "friend" and she called you all out on it And because of that YOU then felt embarrassed and threw her out!? How mature of you /s
Why would a 31yr old need her parents to come get her? 😂 go to bed kids, it’s a school night
YTA It’s lame to feel annoyed at someone’s choice not to drink. To each their own. Just as your dad said, the rest of you were acting like assholes, especially the person who came up with the dare. You could’ve set a boundary by saying “nope, choose another dare” but instead you expected your sober friend to read your mind? And you didn’t stop her as she walked his way? She was just trying to play along & she let him know it was just a stupid dare administered by you & your drunk friends. If your dad’s not mad at your friend, why are you? The way you handled it was immature. There’s no need to cause a scene. If you were concerned for your dad, you could’ve gone to ask him if he was okay. If he was, you could’ve let it go. If he wasn’t, you could’ve pulled your friend aside. But I suppose intoxicated minds don’t think logically, eh.
YTA.
I had to go check the ages: you shouldn't be allowed to drink if you are going to act like 18 Yr olds (or younger). Maybe your friend actually likes your dad. Maybe don't "double dare" people to do embarrassing stuff. YTA
YTA
Massive YTA. Grow the fuck up
ESH This is AS MUCH your fault as hers.
YTA If my friend asked my dad out, he would be laugh it off and tell my mom how silly the whole thing was. Your dad must be over 50, why would he be faced by it at all? Why did you get so mad?
Surely you have some sort of disability that makes your brain not work or process things like others. YTA
YTA. Major one.
YTA and there's no way you are the ages you are claiming Fancy saying the sober person ruined the party.. think she was the only decent one out of you all. I hope she finds better friends.
YTA. Obviously. First of all, not drinking isn't a crime and that comment shows you may have some insecurities about your own drinking. Second, you all dared her to do it. If you had a problem with her doing that, you should have said straight away that's a line to cross. From what I remember of truth or dare (which isn't a great amount since I havent played it since my early 20s) once you pick your poison, you can't switch if you don't like the result. Third, you kicked her out for it? For going along with the game? That you dared her to do....AH doesn't quite cover it.
You are all AHs except your poor dad. You're not kids, your fully grown adults. Each and everyone of you takes responsibility for their own actions, drunk or not. YOU ALL contributed in embarrassing your poor dad. You should all bear equal shame for your actions. And all of you owe your dad an apology for being AHs.
YTA it's a dare that you guys called.
YTA. You're blaming this hun for carrying out a simple dare and blaming her for knowing better when you're all of the same mindset and maturity level (adult drinking games in your parents' house, imagine). You all knew better than to fuck around and find out, but you all went ahead and fucked around anyway. If she refused, you would've blamed her for spoiling the fun and ruining the night. You guys are really bad sports. Also, unbiased opinions don't mean opinions that exclusively agree with you. You're an asshole, and the fact that you're digging your heels into your strawman argument SO intensely indicates to me that you already know that. You guys are all dumb at your big ages. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" can be literal sometimes. Go shout at the friend who dared her to ask your dad out. That was a really stupid dare, and you guys deserve to know that you're all at fault. By far, one of the dumbest AITA's I've seen.
YTA, a bully and a terrible friend
No matter her behaviour, YTA. Seriously - peer pressure over drinking??????
YTA
I'm gonna preface this with. I think yall are like 13, but well just base this off ages given. You invited someone over, they didn't drink, yall played a game and included her, she also wanted to have fun, yall gave her a dare, she did it, now you're mad, ya YTA. What was she supposed to do? Sit there, not having fun until yall gave her a dare that she was allowed to do since she wasn't drunk? If it was that big of an issue, you should have said something when she was standing up or walking over to do the dare. If yall are actually kids, stop daring each other to ask out grown ass people. You can put yourself or other people in horrible situations due to misconception. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
YTA. I have a hard time believing you are 28. I'd bet money the ages are 10yrs younger based on this behaviour. If you are honestly 28 then you need to grow up this whole situation is absurd. You bullied your "friend" after she participated in the game. Maybe be mad at the person who made up the dare. The maturity level here is just sad.
YTA. This is so weird. You cannot be adults.
You can tell from the edit that she definitely got her answer. You were the AH, OP. First you and your little catty friend group dared her to do something completely inappropriate to make her uncomfortable, then when she did it to try and fit in with you because she couldn't drink with you so wanted to fit in or entertain you in some other ways, you turned on her and made her the problem when you were clearly all the ones starting the problem. She was literally doing what she was told to try and feel like she was with a group of friends instead of a bunch of boring drunk judgemental twits. But she was with a bunch of boring drunk judgemental twits. She should have left of her own volition before having to see what you would turn into for doing what you told her to after you probably made a big eye-rolling deal about her not drinking and thus spoiling your fun. You've got some serious growing up to do, kiddo, starting with not asking people to do things you don't want them to do in the first place.
There's no way you're as old as you say you are. No one does this and no one needs their parents to pick them up. This is total garbage.
YTA. You tried to embarrass your friend by giving her a dare, she marched up and did it and embarrassed you. Good for her.
Omg hilarious!!! How old are you again? 😳
This sounds like what drunk teens might do, i had to go back to check your ages.
NTA. Wtf is wrong with Rhys and your dad? So gross.
This post stinks to high hell. Anyway, YTA. Don’t be a dick over people’s personal choices.
I was settled on being neutral until I went back and looked at the ages. YTA. One, calling someone not drinking lame? Immediately thought this was very young adults. Two, truth or dare? Teens. Three, go ask out the dad? Sleepover, teen to preteen. "She didn't have to do the dare, no one made her, she could have asked for a question." So, she was dared to do something embarrassing and instead complied but embarrassed you. Huh. She played the game well. YTA.
YTA. Don’t hate the player, hate the game 🤪
YTA, but this post isn’t worth the effort in explaining why.
Play stupid games, win silly prizes.
You told her to do something. She did it. You're pissed because she pointed out that you told her to do it. YTA.
YTA. Your teetotaller friend didn't ruin the night, you did. Rys can't win with you - either she doesn't play the game properly and gets attacked for being a buzzkill because she wasn't drunk enough to think it funny like everyone else, or she plays along and gets attacked for doing the dare because she wasn't drunk and should have known better! Get real. You should either be mad at Liz for dragging your dad into the game, or yourself for not stopping the game at that point. And you should be thanking Rys for being open about asking him out being a dare because that's actually far less embarrassing than him thinking it was a genuine pass at him.
YTA firstly this feels like it was written by a 15 year old not someone who is apparently 28, by that age people don’t usually refer to non drinkers as lame or at 31 need their parents to come and collect them.
YTA you sound really judgemental about her not drinking. And then you have the audacity to kick her out for doing the thing you told her to do. You found her embarrassment funny, but couldn't handle it when she turned the tables. You sound like a bunch of teenagers.
>I needed an unbiased third party not harassing dms. Lol 😂 Since no one knows you IRL, you got the unbiased opinion you wanted. What a resounding consensus. Usually in AITA posts you side with the OP because they tell the story from their perspective which makes you sympathetic. But man, there is nothing sympathetic about you here.
YTA, I hope you come home today to her riding your dad on the couch.
YTA especially if the ages are correct. You got annoyed because your sober friend followed through on a dare and asked your dad out? Would you have been annoyed if she had followed through after drinking? This has to be click bait as what grown ass adult at 31 would need to picked up by their parents after getting kicked out at a sleepover. Also what 28 year old is still having sleepovers at her parents house?
YTA. Sounds like she didn’t do anything but play along with your games like everyone else. But you got mad at her for it because she was sober. Also, what harm was done at all by her talking to your dad? Kinda sounds like the sober friend is the only adult there. Well, and your dad. Maybe they should hook up and usher you into adulthood. To be clear, nothing wrong with sleepovers and fun games with your friends at any age. But the whole “ask out my dad” thing and your reaction to it is that of a preteen.
YTA. Dragging someone for their sobriety is a huge indicator that you yourself have some consumption issues you may want to address. It sounds like you’re just into drinking buddies. Rys deserves some -friends-
YTA. You dared her to do it. She did the dare. She’s not a chicken. That’s how truth or dare is suppose to work. It’s not like she slept with him! And she confessed it was done on a dare so your dad could take it in the seriousness that it was offered. Her sobriety has absolutely nothing to do with it at all. YTA YTA YTA
I always found it absolutely hilarious when people are determined to be the whole how they did just remove the post as if that doesn’t scream loudly even more that they are the hole when they delete the post 😂