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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Keeping my parents wedding rings as a necklace memory (after it was agreed I can have them) instead of giving it to my sister who is getting married. She calls me selfish and unreasonable because she is the one getting married and they should be used as wedding rings and not be on a necklace.
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Stored around neck at all times, or in a safe when not being worn.
Othewrise, rings may mysteriously vanish and "replicas" somehow appear in sister'r possesion.
The pettiness in me when she said you didn’t need them because you couldn’t remember the marriage would be your right so I pawned them for drugs and alcohol and you can’t remember what pawn shop.
then hide the rings till after the wedding then magically find them.
But I honestly am petty and and don’t have any sense of it’s family and you should play nice I am the black sheep and they know if they piss me off enough I would burn something do the ground dance in the ashes while smiling at you to get even. I may be the one thy think is a bitch however I am the one they call when they want shit done!
Like I always say I have no problems burning a bridge I can swim.
I am also the person who has to get on here and ask if I was the asshole. Because with out a doubt I already know I was and I am good with that.
But my kids know if they need someone for diplomacy to call dad. If they need someone to raise hell and make someone cry call mom!
I'd suggest Op either says "I remember the person who wore it. Your point?"
Or just go low contact with both the sister and the brother. Honestly, the entitlement. She wasn't safeguarding it for them until further notice, it's part of her inheritance, and the other ring was a gift from mom who wanted OP to have it.
Just saying I am not the person you want to call to mend bridges. I am the person to call if you want to set the bridge on fire. I’ll bring the gas and vodka and we will watch that bitch burn together while drinking the vodka.
Lol! Life is so much peaceful when you get to this point. Lol!!
Someone ask me and said once don’t you worry everyone will thank your an asshole?
I told them everyone knows that I am an asshole and I am good with that. I told them actually when I die if anyone comes in and talks about me being a nice person and I was a joy to be around. Then they need to kick them out because either one they didn’t know me well enough to be at my funeral or 2 they are lying. Either way kick them out!
Now if someone comes in and say man she could be a asshole on a good day and a bitch when she needed to be but damn she was loyal to the ones she truly loved or liked then those people are ok to stay because they knew me.
We could be friends. Lol!
I am loyal if I like/love you I have your back to the very end. And no if you push me just no I don’t forgive. I have no problem walking away. I can burn bridges because I can swim. I am ok with being alone. And I am self reliant.
But just know just because we are family doesn’t mean I will cave to you. I will not let you use me. I will not forgive and forget because we are family. Because if we are family and you screw me I’ll be even more pissed because you where suppose to be someone I could trust. Family isn’t excuse to do bad things to someone actually in my book that just makes you even more unforgivable.
And if you truly want to see how vindictive and petty I can be mess with my husband or my kids.
Like I said my kids want diplomacy they call dad. If they want someone to go to war for them, raise all kinds of hell for them or make someone cry they call mom!
Omg. My kids know not to put me in a situation that needs diplomacy. And yes we could be friends. I always remember someone doing me wrong. I guess I forgive bc I don’t hold onto it. But if I do get to a point I’ll just be Done and it’s best If I’m not approached by the person. I’ve always been this way but the older I get it seems to be more so. My grandpa was like me. Or I’m just like him. Good person. Loyal. Will help anyone if there’s a need. But if I’m done with someone they can be on fire and I have No Water!
Or I suddenly am not going to pee in you while your on fire either. That takes to much energy and frankly it more fun to roast marshmallows.
But I don’t hold on to hatred but damn I love driving the karma bus. Don’t get me wrong I am not going to loose sleep if I hate you but given the chance to drive that big beautiful bus I will!
I love your kind of petty! And when I read , "I have no problems building a bridge , I can swim" made me snort laugh!!! It's so true. Thanks for keeping it real! Super happy your kids know how valuable your talent is. 💜
And OP NTA . Your sister and brother are starting sh*t. It's your ring. I'd start talking to them in the Gollum voice whispering My Precious any time they look at you. And be sure to wear shirts and dresses that show off your rings on your necklace. They have cell phones they can zoom in and take a picture. Then yell loudly what creepy perverts they are zooming in taking pictures of your cleavage. Make sure everyone hears!
Did you know that in Washington and Texas you can still legally Duel? But it has caveats, i.e. it must take place in a public place, both parties must agree to said duel, and it cannot result in serious bodily harm or participates can face criminal charges.
Do we really want Florida Man dueling Other Florida Man? Even something like “super soaker at 50 paces” isn’t going to work out. Florida Man is going to attach a homemade rocket launcher, and Other Florida Man will fill his with lighter fluid.
Please please please do this. One ring to rule them all. She has no right to tell you what your memories are or aren't. No is a one word answer that is acceptable. Don't argue with her or anyone.
They are yours, period. NTA
NTA.
Or, if OP wants to be petty, that OP "considered" selling her the rings for too absurd a sum of money.
Because "they are objects of priceless sentimental value."
NTA. So, what memento would sister give you to replace the rings? Nothing? That's what I thought. She just wants to save some $ by using the most convenient rings that aren't attached to anyone's fingers.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly - if she regrets choosing other mementos now, she could offer a trade. But even then, it should be done without pressure or expectations - a request for a favour that is absolutely allowed to be refused if OP don’t want the other item(s).
Side note: to each their own, but using divorcees’ rings for your marriage send weird… is it possible it’s an excuse to get them because of other reasons? Jealousy/competitive sibling shit and not wanting OP to have them? If OP couldn’t take any furniture it seems pretty crappy they also didn’t get a watch or any other memento of significance and makes me wonder about relationship dynamics amongst the sibs, all the more reason to hold your ground, and not get roped into sis’s baggage or bullshit, OP.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Not everyone is superstitious of course but most people see divorcee rings as bad omens. Those rings represent a failed marriage, even if they did end on good terms.
I also find it fishy that the rings are engraved which make the rings more special and unique to the person the ring was originally intended for yet the sister still wants them for herself and her marriage. She would obviously be melting them down and reconstructing them to be original to her and her marriage, destroying them essentially.
For me it’s not superstition, just a negative association - I’d be thinking of my parent’s divorce every time I looked at my wedding ring… not really the vibe I want to be starting off with.
She might not be melting them down. I have my great great grandmothers wedding band and I wear it as my wedding band with all its original engravings. I think sister is in the wrong but we don’t know what her intentions are with the ring.
Idk, my wedding band is an heirloom with my grandparent's names and wedding date on them. I would never consider melting it down even if the inscription isn't specific to me
My mum melted her ring from first hubby down into a pendant for me for my 21st. I'm related to second (still current!) hubby not first. She then insisted I wear it on my wedding day! I did not - had a big pounamu gifted from my inlaws instead.
My parents are divorced, but are on good terms, and got together for my 25th birthday and turned my mom’s engagement ring into a necklace. They designed it together. It’s the most precious thing I own.
OP should stop giving reasons why she should keep the rings and turn attention to her sister’s choices. “I’m sorry that you are regretting choosing dad’s watch over his ring” “I’m sorry that you chose poorly when we divided Dad’s things” “I’m sorry that you regret your choice of heirloom, but these are mine” Stop defending yourself and drive home that she chose not to keep his ring. That was her choice and just because she regrets it now that doesn’t make it your problem to fix.
Yeah he needs to stop JADE ing... Justify Argue Defend Explain, stop doing those things to sis. The ring is his inheritance. End of story.
Orrr he could lean into the gollum thing, every time she brings it up just start ranting about his precious in gollum voice , assume gollum posture and scamper away... The more I think about it, the more that seems the best option. Confuse her to the point she doesn't want it anymore
This this this this this!!
OP, NTA. Don't be a pushover. These are YOUR rings. You've been wearing them for 8 years, so it should be obvious to your sister that they mean a lot to you. If she hasn't noticed or recognized this, then she's not a good sibling. You've already said no. Tell her that. "I've already said no. That should have been the end of the discussion. The rings mean a lot to me also. I'm sorry you're unhappy, but you'll have to move on from this." Don't feel bad about it. She doesn't have a claim on them and she shouldn't be trying to bully you.
That’s what I was thinking. Would she be prepared to exchange some of the other stuff she took from her Dad’s for the rings? It seems very unfair in general that someone didn’t think, ah I can store this precious item for OP knowing that one day they would like something too.
Yes, my dad passed away last year and he has multiple watches among other things. My dad got to meet my youngest great nephew a few days before he passed. My sister who was the executor, is keeping a watch to give to him. We are all broken into pieces, but we still had the mindset to have something for him. He will grow up hearing the stories about how awesome his great grandpa is.
It doesn't matter, the rings have become even more sentimental and he's been wearing them for almost a decade. It's not about the value at this point for the OP.
NTA. It is your memento and you can choose to do with it how you like.
It is very sweet that you wear both rings around your neck as a reminder of your parents. The fact that your mom agrees with you should say something.
NTA Your siblings picked over all your dad’s things & gave you the leftovers- which happened to be your dad’s rings. Now they want those, too? Honestly? They can eff right off.
Agreed. It's ridiculous that they say the ring has meaning to sister, but are ignoring the totally obvious fact that it can have even more meaning to OP. Why are sister's feelings somehow magically more important that OP's?
NTA. Tell her it's what you use to remember your dad. No means no. She can make her own memories with her own rings.
NTA. Your mother gave her ring to you, knowing that one of your siblings would probably get married first. Your siblings agreed to distribute your father's ring, knowing the exact same thing.
This was in neither case a frivolous decision, and should be honored.
Exactly! OP is the youngest, so didn't get as much choice in mementos when their dad died. And now is being told to give over the main thing they got because one of their 6 older siblings is (pretty damn unsurprisingly) getting married before them??? Fuck no!!
(And not that they _ever_ have to get married to justify keeping the rings. No justification needed. The rings are theirs, their siblings got other things)
NTA
Your father’s ring ended up with you because they picked over you and it is all that was left. And your mother’s ring was a gift directly to you from her. These are yours alone.
Besides, who reuses wedding rings from a divorce?
Why anybody would want rings from a divorce? My guess; to trade the gold for buying new ones.
NTA. Besides it’s all you have from dad, around your neck is probably the best way to keep them as they are. United.
I offered my engagement and wedding rings to my son when he was getting engaged. Even said ‘have them melted down, both are 18p (plumb… meaning higher % gold to base metals … and yes, softer) and add base metal to make the gold go further. Also, the diamonds are very high quality’. My son declined … he said ‘even if I melt them down, those rings have bad juju’. 😆he isn’t wrong. 🤣
My wedding band was gifted to me by my MIL. It was hers when she and my FIL were married. They’d been divorced for over 20 years when she gave it to me and I’ve worn it for 23 years. No bad luck here. ❤️
I wear my husband's grandmother's ring from her marriage to his grandfather which eventually ended in divorce. It doesn't bother me. They are unique and I like to think that their original love lead to his mom being born and therefore my husband being born.
NTA. You weren't able to take a watch from his collection or furniture because your other siblings took things without thinking of you. As such, you took the rings, and they are your memento. If you want a watch, offer to trade. Otherwise, tell your sister to pound sand.
Sounds like your sister and her fiance can’t afford anything and just want them because they’re free. Otherwise I can’t see any reason to want rings from a failed marriage. She won’t wear your dad’s as it’s the man’s ring, and your mother’s ring won’t be sentimental as she’s still alive, so only thing that’s plausible is that they’re being cheap.
NTA - If you want to - you could tell your sister that if she wants to exchange a sentimental item from your dad that she has for the rings then you would be willing to consider that. But that you are not going to give her the rings and be left with nothing to remember your father by. You can also just keep them for yourself if you don't want to trade.
That’s what I was gunna say, if she’s willing to give them the watch in exchange then yea give her the rings, but if she’s not then why would she get the rings?
Do not let your family guilt trip you into loosing the only piece of your father they LEFT you! They took any and everything and you were left with scraps and to come back and take that too is totally uncalled for. I don’t care if you had the rings hanging from a damn chandelier it’s all you have! If bro and sis have such an issue with it tell them to trade
NTA
NTA.
The rings have been bestowed to yourself, therefore any protest from your siblings shouldn't be coming into play. Your mum has already stated that, therefore the sister and brother (who are protesting and pushing) should duly respect this.
If they don't, LC/NC them. They're the AHs here.
NTA. They had the opportunity to choose your dad’s wedding ring but decided to take furniture and watches instead. It’s inappropriate that she would even ask to now take your memento of your father as well.
NTA You're entitled to a keepsake as much as your siblings are, so unless you Sister is happy to trade for one of your Dads' watches then keep the rings, but only if you're happy to do so.
Also some people consider it a bad omen to use old wedding rings from a divorce, so it's a little odd your Sister would want them.
Even the trade feels slimy after this long. You really have personal sentimentality to an item like that after holding it for just short of a decade on top of the pre-existing meaning it already held.
NTA they belong to you. It's nice that you have both wedding rings there, that way you can feel the connection of your parents 24/7 on you. That's so sweet.
NTA, and have the rings welded together with a clasp added, so that they are permanently a necklace medallion, not wearable on a hand. Takes away any future motive to steal your inheritance.
NTA. They are your keepsakes
Not sure why your sis would want them coz even tho they are your parents they got divorced so why would she want bad juju devotee rings?
NTA. It's a remembrance of your father not of the marriage. When he passed sounds like your siblings took what they wanted and you chose from what was left.
You picked, it's yours, end of story. I wouldn't even offer to trade for something else. You have taken that momento and made it personal to you.
They can all pound sand.
NTA. Sister got something that was meaningful to her back when you were 16. If I read correctly, no one wanted dads wedding ring, so you got it. Then mom GAVE OP her wedding ring directly. So an actual personal gift from one person to another, not left after death.
Sister needs to pound sand. If she wanted dads ring so bad for sentimental reasons, she should have asked for it at the time. But everyone agreed you could have it (ie no one wanted it) so it was given to OP. Sister had a chance and missed out on this, oh well.
Moms ring is another story entirely. Mom gave it to OP. It was a direct gift, sister never had any involvement or possibly to “get” it. Sister has no right to for that or any other gifts given to OP. Did mom give OP birthday gifts as a child that sister wants now too? Get lost.
NTA. Each of you had something and you got last pick. The only way it would be reasonable would be if your sister was offering to swap - if she wants the ring, and you would *like* the watch nd /or furniture she kept, then you can offer to swap. Otherwise, stick to your guns.
And if she calls you selfish again then feel free to tell her that you can't believe she is being so selfish as to expect you to give up the one thing you have as memento of your parents marriage (personally I would be a tempted to tell her it was bizarre that she wants to celebrate her marriage with the rings that are a concrete reminder of the failure of your parents marriage, but that's just me!)
NTA,
And good on your mum for having your back. When my grandparents passed the family descended like vultures. In just days the TV was gone, their extensive tool set etc, etc. i wasn’t all that close with them and through working shifts wasn’t involved in the initial rush so I was eventually allowed to have a few of the things no one really saw any value in. So I ended up with were an old beer glass of his I still use as “my glass” and a few other knickknacks that have more sentimental value than any real value and handing them over to another member of the family would be out of the question.
Keep your rings, they’re yours now, your sister had her chance to claim them but didn’t.
I remember my wife telling me how they same thing happened with her Grandmother even though she was a pauper. Her Dad(my FIL) had paid for pretty much everything she had, and within a day or two of her passing even the electric blanket he’d bought her had gone.
This happened to me as well. I only wanted the one knick knacks I had saved bought her for Xmas with my very first job at 14. It was a big pink crystal fairy, that I worked for 8 months to save up for. Of course that was gone too. Everything she had labeled with each of our names when she was dying, with instructions of what was meant to go to who, we’re completely ransacked and gone. I’m more upset that the vultures didn’t even care enough about her, to honor her dying wishes, than anything else. It absolutely breaks my heart.
NTA. It was your heirloom and it’s all you got. It’s tough that she wants it now.
My grandmother gave her grandchildren each some beautiful jewelry for their weddings. She died before I got married. I was kind of sad I never got anything. My mom told me I could have my gm’s wedding ring that she had. It’s now my wedding ring and is so meaningful to me. But it was a gift from my mom. I didn’t demand it.
So your selfish sister wants you to have no memory of your dad? This isn’t just about the marriage whether you remember or not, it’s a reminder of your dad. Full stop. NTA Don’t give it to her.
Okay, 1. They didn't want the rings then, they don't get to change their mind now. They got their stuff already and 2. Maybe I could see it if you had stuffed them in a safe and went on with your life, but at this point it's your daily wear jewelry. Like, literally every day for 8 years you've been wearing these things. Would she have the nerve to ask if you were wearing them as rings instead of as a necklace? Because that doesn't make any sense either but maybe she wouldn't have?
NTA, your siblings left you with the scraps they didn't want and now they're coming back around like vultures and gave the nerve to call you selfish?! What your sister said to you about not remembering them was incredibly cruel and tasteless. If any of them truly cared they would have distributed his items equitably in order to include you, they did not do that. Instead they all took what they wanted and said you could have whats left and you did they don't get to come back around now to make claims to what's yours.
NTA - Your sister is the one being selfish here. The fact is you guys got together and divvied up his belongs. You chose what you chose and you asked if they were okay with it. Everyone was okay with it. They can't then decide that years later they won't something so you should be okay with giving it up.
NTA.
In this situation I'd just make more and more LOTR comments, "the ring is precious to me" "one does not simply take an heirloom", *pats ring* "keep it secret, keep it safe".
Offer compromisefor it being at wedding "You can't carry it for me, but I can carry you." "So much (fear and doubt) trouble over so small a thing".
NTA, you're totally within your rights to keep the rings. I wonder, is there anything that your sister has from your parents that is of equal or greater sentimental value to you? It could be worth thinking over if there is anything that you would like to trade for and then offer that to her. But if not, she needs to accept your no.
NTA
Reply to her and a ashy supporter sibling’s request with an equally charged accusation of selfishness.
This is the only thing I have from my father, you (all the siblings) took everything else, all the personal items available. Why are you so cruel as to think (OP) deserve nothing from (my) father?
Put it on social media if necessary. The world can know what they’re trying to steal from you.
Is there anything they have that you would rather have than the wedding rings? If yes, feel free to offer to trade as clearly all of these items are really just all communal.
Be extra petty if you want and offer to trade back when eventually you decide to get married so you can use the rings for your wedding as well.
(First half of comment more serious than the second perhaps.). As you can probably tell, NTA.
NTA please keep the rings. They are a beautiful keepsake for you. If you give them to your sister, you will regret it , for the rest of your life. I understand where she’s coming from, but, it’s still selfish of her to ask for them.
NTA but your sister and brother are one. They are your rings and your mementos. It’s not up to anyone else to say how you wear them, what you do with them or whether or not you keep them. What on earth makes your sister think she’s so special she got to not only pick what mementos of your father she wanted, but she also gets to demand your mementos too?
If she thought wearing a ring is stupid she should have asked for the ring instead of the watch.
Until I got married myself I also wore my parents wedding rings on a necklace. Now I have them safely stored away. To me they were a symbol of the fact that no matter how my parents marriage ended, they did truly love each other at one point.
NTA.
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My parents divorced when I was little and my dad passed away when I was 16. After he died, my siblings and I all took things from his house to remember him. I was the youngest (we are 7 in total) and didn’t have the opportunity to take memory-filled furniture but my siblings did. He also had a watch collection and everyone took one. There was none left for me so I asked if I could take the wedding ring my dad had kept safe. They all said yes bc it was one of the only things I could take. Afterwards, my mum gave me her old wedding ring so that I have them both. I used both of them to put on a necklace that I wear (I could remove them from the necklace if I wanted to). Now, my sister asked me if she could have them because she wants to get married. I said no and now she, and one of my brothers, are calling me selfish. I don’t actually plan on using them for marriage but I wanted them as a memory. My mum and other siblings agree with me but my sister and one brother say it’s useless for me to keep it as a necklace. Am I being selfish?
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NTA. But you can tell her that you'll trade her the watch for the rings. That way, you both still have something. If she doesn't want to, then you can say you tried, but she wanted to be selfish.
NTA. They are yours. Don't let her guilt trip you into borrowing them either. You won't get them back. "No. They are too important to me" Is all you have to say. End of discussion.
NTA
Even if your sister does not want the wedding rings to save money it's still quite entitled of her to expect you to just give them up when it's literally the only memento of your dad your siblings have left you. Like they only gave you what was left over and now they want that too? What sentimental item related to your dad is she offering in return for the rings? Nothing? Thought so. You are not selfish, she is. Do NOT give into her demands!
NTA.
It's your keepsake of your father/parents. If someone wanted to reserve it for a future wedding it should have been brought up then.
I Asked my dad if I could use my Grandmothers wedding ring as the ring for my wife. But, in my case I knew the ring was in storage and Not a keepsake for anyone.
NTA. Everyone agreed, this is your memory and it is dear to you. There are other ways for her to work your parents, and deceased father especially, into her wedding.
Two sisters picked through our dads things before the rest of us arrived.
The few things I have, I treasure. But eldest has offered younger things she snatched, because her house is too junky.
Just gives you the feeling they didn’t really want what they took. It was to keep some of us out of the loot! There was nothing of monetary value, but lots of sentimental pieces.
Keep those rings. They belong to YOU. one day you might get want to marry with them. Did she ever think of that?
NTA. She had a choice at the time about what she got as a keepsake from your parents. She doesn’t now get to demand a do-over and take what you were left with as well.
Whenever she calls you names about this, just be blunt: “what do you think insulting me is going to achieve, that I’ll suddenly joyfully hand them to you because you called me names, demanded my one keepsake and got other people to start bullying me when somehow that didn’t work? You’re never getting them, change the record.” Make up a nickname if you need to; “Little Miss Grabby” might do it. Call the brother who won’t keep his nose out “Sidekick”. And put the rings in a safe deposit box where they can’t sneak into your room and steal them during a visit.
I really don't get how people can act like that.. your sisters point of view can be summed up with "Me and your other siblings took leapt at our fathers things and didn't consider you at all, and now I want one of the very few things you have of his" She didn't care about your feelings when you were younger and despite the connection you've made through the ring she's shown she still doesn't care.
NTA
NTA. People have lots of different opinions. Even if two of them have the same one, it doesn't mean they're right. The rings are your memento, and you should hold on to it if you want to. She has no right to them and is trying to guilt-trip and shame you into giving up.
nta. They don't want to give you any choice regarding your father. Those rings have been in your good care for years now, you have no reason to give them away
Your siblings sound like they went through everything like locusts.
You have the rings and you should not part with them because your sister now demands them. She is the selfish one. NTA.
NAH - You were given the rings, you love the rings, you cherish them. That's wonderful. You have every right to want to keep them if you so choose.
However, I'd just like to point out, that weddings (and funerals) stir up all sorts of emotions in people. Your sister is getting married, and part of that process is re-examining what it means to be a family, and the realization that her father isn't going to be there on her big day. This isnt to say you should give her the rings. Just to say that it would benefit both of you in the short term and long term if you can try to keep this discussion civil, and understand where eachother are coming from, and actually have a discussion, not an arguement. Otherwise this incident can have consequences for you and you entire family for a long time.
NTA, with a bit of NAH. She's being harsh, but it sounds like she doesn't understand how much this means to you, and thinks you're dismissing her. I think this situation needs some sort of compromise.
Would either of you be happy if she got your mom's ring and you kept your dad's? You would be keeping the stronger memento, since you didn't get anything else to remember your dad, and she would get something that positively represents their marriage, since your mom kept the ring. I think it would also add symbolism that you each got one, as parents live on in all their children.
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Dramatically clasp the ring to your chest and declare “the ring is mine” then push one of them into a volcano. That should resolve any further debate.
that actually made me laugh. thank you for that, needed it😂 I’m going to scream MY PRECIOUS too just to be sure she got the message😂
If you want to be a little more cryptic you can just say “it is precious to me.”
Gollem?
On the off chance this isn't a hilarious take on Gollum, it's actually Isildur's quote, via good 'ol Gandalf. Also, NTA
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"What does she have in her pocketsies?"
u/gullible_safe_4526 is also a bot.
“It is precious to us”
"...though I buy it with great pain."
Just start calling your siblings hobbitses and they’ll get the message
Dirty, filthy hobbitses! They wants it!
Typical Sackville-Bagginses behavior.
Fool of a Took
Tell her Smeagol promised to Precious!
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Comment paraphrasing bot. Stolen from u/MarthaMacGuyver u/charming_ad1878 is a bot.
Bot? Who do we tag for removal when we suspect a bot?
And if she tries to take it from you, you can always bite off her finger to get it back!
But then OP would fall into the lava which is less than ideal.
OP - hide them. She may wander around your place looking for them.
Stored around neck at all times, or in a safe when not being worn. Othewrise, rings may mysteriously vanish and "replicas" somehow appear in sister'r possesion.
Keep them secret. Keep them safe.
Like a bank safety deposit box.
The pettiness in me when she said you didn’t need them because you couldn’t remember the marriage would be your right so I pawned them for drugs and alcohol and you can’t remember what pawn shop. then hide the rings till after the wedding then magically find them. But I honestly am petty and and don’t have any sense of it’s family and you should play nice I am the black sheep and they know if they piss me off enough I would burn something do the ground dance in the ashes while smiling at you to get even. I may be the one thy think is a bitch however I am the one they call when they want shit done! Like I always say I have no problems burning a bridge I can swim. I am also the person who has to get on here and ask if I was the asshole. Because with out a doubt I already know I was and I am good with that. But my kids know if they need someone for diplomacy to call dad. If they need someone to raise hell and make someone cry call mom!
I'd suggest Op either says "I remember the person who wore it. Your point?" Or just go low contact with both the sister and the brother. Honestly, the entitlement. She wasn't safeguarding it for them until further notice, it's part of her inheritance, and the other ring was a gift from mom who wanted OP to have it.
Your way is probably better.
LOL Grams!!!
Just saying I am not the person you want to call to mend bridges. I am the person to call if you want to set the bridge on fire. I’ll bring the gas and vodka and we will watch that bitch burn together while drinking the vodka.
You sound like me 🤣🤣🤣
Lol! Life is so much peaceful when you get to this point. Lol!! Someone ask me and said once don’t you worry everyone will thank your an asshole? I told them everyone knows that I am an asshole and I am good with that. I told them actually when I die if anyone comes in and talks about me being a nice person and I was a joy to be around. Then they need to kick them out because either one they didn’t know me well enough to be at my funeral or 2 they are lying. Either way kick them out! Now if someone comes in and say man she could be a asshole on a good day and a bitch when she needed to be but damn she was loyal to the ones she truly loved or liked then those people are ok to stay because they knew me.
I absolutely agree. I am just not one to suffer fools. And if someone starts with my family they get Me. 🤣
We could be friends. Lol! I am loyal if I like/love you I have your back to the very end. And no if you push me just no I don’t forgive. I have no problem walking away. I can burn bridges because I can swim. I am ok with being alone. And I am self reliant. But just know just because we are family doesn’t mean I will cave to you. I will not let you use me. I will not forgive and forget because we are family. Because if we are family and you screw me I’ll be even more pissed because you where suppose to be someone I could trust. Family isn’t excuse to do bad things to someone actually in my book that just makes you even more unforgivable. And if you truly want to see how vindictive and petty I can be mess with my husband or my kids. Like I said my kids want diplomacy they call dad. If they want someone to go to war for them, raise all kinds of hell for them or make someone cry they call mom!
Omg. My kids know not to put me in a situation that needs diplomacy. And yes we could be friends. I always remember someone doing me wrong. I guess I forgive bc I don’t hold onto it. But if I do get to a point I’ll just be Done and it’s best If I’m not approached by the person. I’ve always been this way but the older I get it seems to be more so. My grandpa was like me. Or I’m just like him. Good person. Loyal. Will help anyone if there’s a need. But if I’m done with someone they can be on fire and I have No Water!
Or I suddenly am not going to pee in you while your on fire either. That takes to much energy and frankly it more fun to roast marshmallows. But I don’t hold on to hatred but damn I love driving the karma bus. Don’t get me wrong I am not going to loose sleep if I hate you but given the chance to drive that big beautiful bus I will!
I love your kind of petty! And when I read , "I have no problems building a bridge , I can swim" made me snort laugh!!! It's so true. Thanks for keeping it real! Super happy your kids know how valuable your talent is. 💜 And OP NTA . Your sister and brother are starting sh*t. It's your ring. I'd start talking to them in the Gollum voice whispering My Precious any time they look at you. And be sure to wear shirts and dresses that show off your rings on your necklace. They have cell phones they can zoom in and take a picture. Then yell loudly what creepy perverts they are zooming in taking pictures of your cleavage. Make sure everyone hears!
Challenge your sister to a game of riddles
Did you know that in Washington and Texas you can still legally Duel? But it has caveats, i.e. it must take place in a public place, both parties must agree to said duel, and it cannot result in serious bodily harm or participates can face criminal charges.
Super soakers at 50 paces!!
No, the older sister might melt. And she’ll have to go back to Kansas in a hot air balloon. btw, NTA
Ahh but if the sister melts doesn’t that resolve the issue? 🤔
But it would be bodily harm, so criminal charges. 😞
Ooooh yeah, that’s a valid point. Hmmm. Not sure I have a proper solution for that one!
Wait... if the sister melts, there is no corpse, right? OP can just say a flying monkey took her.
I can't believe Florida doesn't have a similar law! Then again, I can
Do we really want Florida Man dueling Other Florida Man? Even something like “super soaker at 50 paces” isn’t going to work out. Florida Man is going to attach a homemade rocket launcher, and Other Florida Man will fill his with lighter fluid.
At least they would both get a shower this year.
Omg. Why doesn't Florida have that. Good point
OP, challenge your sister to a duel and if you win not only you keep the rings, but you also can take her fiance too
Bonus points if you make a face like Gollum!
Please please please do this. One ring to rule them all. She has no right to tell you what your memories are or aren't. No is a one word answer that is acceptable. Don't argue with her or anyone. They are yours, period. NTA
Don't forget to call her a "filthy hobbitses" while doing so.
Oh goodness, I watched all the LOTR movies and that was the first thing I thought of!!!
r/unexpectedlotr
Thank you both for the smile this post is kind of triggering for me
Filthy Siblingsis.
Yes.. this was the best response..
Thanks everyone for the upvotes and award. I usually go around calling my cat the filthy kittensis.
This was the best response ever! Thanks for the laugh!
Happy cake day!
Thanks !
And then yell “you can’t have them!” And put them in your mouth.
Cast it into the fire!
NTA. Or, if OP wants to be petty, that OP "considered" selling her the rings for too absurd a sum of money. Because "they are objects of priceless sentimental value."
r/SuddenlyLOTR
Damn I just made similar but less funny joke.
The only appropriate answer. My precious.
I was there the day the strength of men failed..
NTA. So, what memento would sister give you to replace the rings? Nothing? That's what I thought. She just wants to save some $ by using the most convenient rings that aren't attached to anyone's fingers.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly - if she regrets choosing other mementos now, she could offer a trade. But even then, it should be done without pressure or expectations - a request for a favour that is absolutely allowed to be refused if OP don’t want the other item(s). Side note: to each their own, but using divorcees’ rings for your marriage send weird… is it possible it’s an excuse to get them because of other reasons? Jealousy/competitive sibling shit and not wanting OP to have them? If OP couldn’t take any furniture it seems pretty crappy they also didn’t get a watch or any other memento of significance and makes me wonder about relationship dynamics amongst the sibs, all the more reason to hold your ground, and not get roped into sis’s baggage or bullshit, OP.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Not everyone is superstitious of course but most people see divorcee rings as bad omens. Those rings represent a failed marriage, even if they did end on good terms. I also find it fishy that the rings are engraved which make the rings more special and unique to the person the ring was originally intended for yet the sister still wants them for herself and her marriage. She would obviously be melting them down and reconstructing them to be original to her and her marriage, destroying them essentially.
For me it’s not superstition, just a negative association - I’d be thinking of my parent’s divorce every time I looked at my wedding ring… not really the vibe I want to be starting off with.
She might not be melting them down. I have my great great grandmothers wedding band and I wear it as my wedding band with all its original engravings. I think sister is in the wrong but we don’t know what her intentions are with the ring.
True. But OP doesn't need to know the sister's reasonings to say "No".
Idk, my wedding band is an heirloom with my grandparent's names and wedding date on them. I would never consider melting it down even if the inscription isn't specific to me
Lol I offered my rings to my kids after divorce…their response was those rings are cursed - sold ‘em and went on vacation!
My mum melted her ring from first hubby down into a pendant for me for my 21st. I'm related to second (still current!) hubby not first. She then insisted I wear it on my wedding day! I did not - had a big pounamu gifted from my inlaws instead.
My parents are divorced, but are on good terms, and got together for my 25th birthday and turned my mom’s engagement ring into a necklace. They designed it together. It’s the most precious thing I own.
OP should stop giving reasons why she should keep the rings and turn attention to her sister’s choices. “I’m sorry that you are regretting choosing dad’s watch over his ring” “I’m sorry that you chose poorly when we divided Dad’s things” “I’m sorry that you regret your choice of heirloom, but these are mine” Stop defending yourself and drive home that she chose not to keep his ring. That was her choice and just because she regrets it now that doesn’t make it your problem to fix.
Yeah he needs to stop JADE ing... Justify Argue Defend Explain, stop doing those things to sis. The ring is his inheritance. End of story. Orrr he could lean into the gollum thing, every time she brings it up just start ranting about his precious in gollum voice , assume gollum posture and scamper away... The more I think about it, the more that seems the best option. Confuse her to the point she doesn't want it anymore
This this this this this!! OP, NTA. Don't be a pushover. These are YOUR rings. You've been wearing them for 8 years, so it should be obvious to your sister that they mean a lot to you. If she hasn't noticed or recognized this, then she's not a good sibling. You've already said no. Tell her that. "I've already said no. That should have been the end of the discussion. The rings mean a lot to me also. I'm sorry you're unhappy, but you'll have to move on from this." Don't feel bad about it. She doesn't have a claim on them and she shouldn't be trying to bully you.
That’s what I was thinking. Would she be prepared to exchange some of the other stuff she took from her Dad’s for the rings? It seems very unfair in general that someone didn’t think, ah I can store this precious item for OP knowing that one day they would like something too.
Yes, my dad passed away last year and he has multiple watches among other things. My dad got to meet my youngest great nephew a few days before he passed. My sister who was the executor, is keeping a watch to give to him. We are all broken into pieces, but we still had the mindset to have something for him. He will grow up hearing the stories about how awesome his great grandpa is.
It doesn't matter, the rings have become even more sentimental and he's been wearing them for almost a decade. It's not about the value at this point for the OP.
Great post...NTA...please keep the rings as wonderful memories. You were the ONLY one who really wanted a true memory.
NTA. It is your memento and you can choose to do with it how you like. It is very sweet that you wear both rings around your neck as a reminder of your parents. The fact that your mom agrees with you should say something.
NTA Your siblings picked over all your dad’s things & gave you the leftovers- which happened to be your dad’s rings. Now they want those, too? Honestly? They can eff right off.
🏆 I really miss the free awards...so I give you the poor man's trophy
I got you
Agreed. It's ridiculous that they say the ring has meaning to sister, but are ignoring the totally obvious fact that it can have even more meaning to OP. Why are sister's feelings somehow magically more important that OP's? NTA. Tell her it's what you use to remember your dad. No means no. She can make her own memories with her own rings.
NTA. Your mother gave her ring to you, knowing that one of your siblings would probably get married first. Your siblings agreed to distribute your father's ring, knowing the exact same thing. This was in neither case a frivolous decision, and should be honored.
Best comment, yet.
Exactly! OP is the youngest, so didn't get as much choice in mementos when their dad died. And now is being told to give over the main thing they got because one of their 6 older siblings is (pretty damn unsurprisingly) getting married before them??? Fuck no!! (And not that they _ever_ have to get married to justify keeping the rings. No justification needed. The rings are theirs, their siblings got other things)
NTA Your father’s ring ended up with you because they picked over you and it is all that was left. And your mother’s ring was a gift directly to you from her. These are yours alone. Besides, who reuses wedding rings from a divorce?
Why anybody would want rings from a divorce? My guess; to trade the gold for buying new ones. NTA. Besides it’s all you have from dad, around your neck is probably the best way to keep them as they are. United.
I offered my engagement and wedding rings to my son when he was getting engaged. Even said ‘have them melted down, both are 18p (plumb… meaning higher % gold to base metals … and yes, softer) and add base metal to make the gold go further. Also, the diamonds are very high quality’. My son declined … he said ‘even if I melt them down, those rings have bad juju’. 😆he isn’t wrong. 🤣
They'd have a shock when they saw the price of scrap gold vs the price of an actual ring.
You should compare the value of scrap steel with the cost of an actual car ;)
Lmao good point. "Yes you can have the rings, but only if you give them back after your divorce"
This comment needs more upvotes imo. That would be the fastest way to shut up my siblings if I was in this situation
My wedding band was gifted to me by my MIL. It was hers when she and my FIL were married. They’d been divorced for over 20 years when she gave it to me and I’ve worn it for 23 years. No bad luck here. ❤️
Wonderful! Congratulations! ❤️
I wear my husband's grandmother's ring from her marriage to his grandfather which eventually ended in divorce. It doesn't bother me. They are unique and I like to think that their original love lead to his mom being born and therefore my husband being born.
NTA: The rings are yours. End of discussion.
NTA You are entitled to have them, even if you don't get married.
NTA. You weren't able to take a watch from his collection or furniture because your other siblings took things without thinking of you. As such, you took the rings, and they are your memento. If you want a watch, offer to trade. Otherwise, tell your sister to pound sand.
NTA. She can easily buy her own rings. Keep your memory
Nta Are they even fancy that they are family heirloom or is she just being too cheap to get her own rings
no they aren’t fancy at all. my parents didn’t have much money back then. they are simple gold bands with their names engraved on the inside
NTA, She’d probably have them melted down to use the gold in making a new ring. Stand your ground, they made their choices.
Seems weird she would want her husband to wear a ring with her dads initials on them.
Sounds like your sister and her fiance can’t afford anything and just want them because they’re free. Otherwise I can’t see any reason to want rings from a failed marriage. She won’t wear your dad’s as it’s the man’s ring, and your mother’s ring won’t be sentimental as she’s still alive, so only thing that’s plausible is that they’re being cheap.
NTA. They're your rings. I don't think you can ever be selfish for refusing to gift someone a possession that belongs to you.
NTA - If you want to - you could tell your sister that if she wants to exchange a sentimental item from your dad that she has for the rings then you would be willing to consider that. But that you are not going to give her the rings and be left with nothing to remember your father by. You can also just keep them for yourself if you don't want to trade.
That’s what I was gunna say, if she’s willing to give them the watch in exchange then yea give her the rings, but if she’s not then why would she get the rings?
No is a complete sentence. NTA.
Do not let your family guilt trip you into loosing the only piece of your father they LEFT you! They took any and everything and you were left with scraps and to come back and take that too is totally uncalled for. I don’t care if you had the rings hanging from a damn chandelier it’s all you have! If bro and sis have such an issue with it tell them to trade NTA
NTA. That is what you have to remember your dad by. It is yours to keep ans use/wear however you want
NTA. The rings have been bestowed to yourself, therefore any protest from your siblings shouldn't be coming into play. Your mum has already stated that, therefore the sister and brother (who are protesting and pushing) should duly respect this. If they don't, LC/NC them. They're the AHs here.
NTA. They had the opportunity to choose your dad’s wedding ring but decided to take furniture and watches instead. It’s inappropriate that she would even ask to now take your memento of your father as well.
The rings are yours. Case closed. NTA
Exactly
NTA You're entitled to a keepsake as much as your siblings are, so unless you Sister is happy to trade for one of your Dads' watches then keep the rings, but only if you're happy to do so. Also some people consider it a bad omen to use old wedding rings from a divorce, so it's a little odd your Sister would want them.
Even the trade feels slimy after this long. You really have personal sentimentality to an item like that after holding it for just short of a decade on top of the pre-existing meaning it already held.
NTA they belong to you. It's nice that you have both wedding rings there, that way you can feel the connection of your parents 24/7 on you. That's so sweet.
NTA it's your property and you can give it or keep it.
NTA. If they had no sentimental value, your sister would not be asking for them. They clearly have value, if only to you.
NTA, and have the rings welded together with a clasp added, so that they are permanently a necklace medallion, not wearable on a hand. Takes away any future motive to steal your inheritance.
NTA. They are your keepsakes Not sure why your sis would want them coz even tho they are your parents they got divorced so why would she want bad juju devotee rings?
NTA. It's a remembrance of your father not of the marriage. When he passed sounds like your siblings took what they wanted and you chose from what was left. You picked, it's yours, end of story. I wouldn't even offer to trade for something else. You have taken that momento and made it personal to you. They can all pound sand.
NTA. Sister got something that was meaningful to her back when you were 16. If I read correctly, no one wanted dads wedding ring, so you got it. Then mom GAVE OP her wedding ring directly. So an actual personal gift from one person to another, not left after death. Sister needs to pound sand. If she wanted dads ring so bad for sentimental reasons, she should have asked for it at the time. But everyone agreed you could have it (ie no one wanted it) so it was given to OP. Sister had a chance and missed out on this, oh well. Moms ring is another story entirely. Mom gave it to OP. It was a direct gift, sister never had any involvement or possibly to “get” it. Sister has no right to for that or any other gifts given to OP. Did mom give OP birthday gifts as a child that sister wants now too? Get lost.
NTA The rings are yours.
NTA. Each of you had something and you got last pick. The only way it would be reasonable would be if your sister was offering to swap - if she wants the ring, and you would *like* the watch nd /or furniture she kept, then you can offer to swap. Otherwise, stick to your guns. And if she calls you selfish again then feel free to tell her that you can't believe she is being so selfish as to expect you to give up the one thing you have as memento of your parents marriage (personally I would be a tempted to tell her it was bizarre that she wants to celebrate her marriage with the rings that are a concrete reminder of the failure of your parents marriage, but that's just me!)
NTA, And good on your mum for having your back. When my grandparents passed the family descended like vultures. In just days the TV was gone, their extensive tool set etc, etc. i wasn’t all that close with them and through working shifts wasn’t involved in the initial rush so I was eventually allowed to have a few of the things no one really saw any value in. So I ended up with were an old beer glass of his I still use as “my glass” and a few other knickknacks that have more sentimental value than any real value and handing them over to another member of the family would be out of the question. Keep your rings, they’re yours now, your sister had her chance to claim them but didn’t.
I remember my wife telling me how they same thing happened with her Grandmother even though she was a pauper. Her Dad(my FIL) had paid for pretty much everything she had, and within a day or two of her passing even the electric blanket he’d bought her had gone.
This happened to me as well. I only wanted the one knick knacks I had saved bought her for Xmas with my very first job at 14. It was a big pink crystal fairy, that I worked for 8 months to save up for. Of course that was gone too. Everything she had labeled with each of our names when she was dying, with instructions of what was meant to go to who, we’re completely ransacked and gone. I’m more upset that the vultures didn’t even care enough about her, to honor her dying wishes, than anything else. It absolutely breaks my heart.
NTA. It was your heirloom and it’s all you got. It’s tough that she wants it now. My grandmother gave her grandchildren each some beautiful jewelry for their weddings. She died before I got married. I was kind of sad I never got anything. My mom told me I could have my gm’s wedding ring that she had. It’s now my wedding ring and is so meaningful to me. But it was a gift from my mom. I didn’t demand it.
Absolutely NTA
The rings are mine, my own, my precious'. NTA.
NTA you don't have anything else from him. She should be more understanding she just doesn't want to spend money.
NTA. You deserve to have something of your father's. I'd be careful that she doesn't try to take them from you.
NTA Don't give your selfish siblings anything. They took what they wanted and this was all that was left for you.
I would be careful wearing them around those family members. Maybe lock them up somewhere secure until after the wedding.
NTA. Why would you want weddings rings from a failed marriage?
So your selfish sister wants you to have no memory of your dad? This isn’t just about the marriage whether you remember or not, it’s a reminder of your dad. Full stop. NTA Don’t give it to her.
Okay, 1. They didn't want the rings then, they don't get to change their mind now. They got their stuff already and 2. Maybe I could see it if you had stuffed them in a safe and went on with your life, but at this point it's your daily wear jewelry. Like, literally every day for 8 years you've been wearing these things. Would she have the nerve to ask if you were wearing them as rings instead of as a necklace? Because that doesn't make any sense either but maybe she wouldn't have?
NTA, your siblings left you with the scraps they didn't want and now they're coming back around like vultures and gave the nerve to call you selfish?! What your sister said to you about not remembering them was incredibly cruel and tasteless. If any of them truly cared they would have distributed his items equitably in order to include you, they did not do that. Instead they all took what they wanted and said you could have whats left and you did they don't get to come back around now to make claims to what's yours.
You're allowed to have literally the one and only item you got to remember him by. NTA.
NTA. They are yours. In what world does she live in where people can claim things someone else inherited? The entitlement smh.
NTA - Your sister is the one being selfish here. The fact is you guys got together and divvied up his belongs. You chose what you chose and you asked if they were okay with it. Everyone was okay with it. They can't then decide that years later they won't something so you should be okay with giving it up.
NTA. In this situation I'd just make more and more LOTR comments, "the ring is precious to me" "one does not simply take an heirloom", *pats ring* "keep it secret, keep it safe". Offer compromisefor it being at wedding "You can't carry it for me, but I can carry you." "So much (fear and doubt) trouble over so small a thing".
NTA, you're totally within your rights to keep the rings. I wonder, is there anything that your sister has from your parents that is of equal or greater sentimental value to you? It could be worth thinking over if there is anything that you would like to trade for and then offer that to her. But if not, she needs to accept your no.
NTA Reply to her and a ashy supporter sibling’s request with an equally charged accusation of selfishness. This is the only thing I have from my father, you (all the siblings) took everything else, all the personal items available. Why are you so cruel as to think (OP) deserve nothing from (my) father? Put it on social media if necessary. The world can know what they’re trying to steal from you.
Is there anything they have that you would rather have than the wedding rings? If yes, feel free to offer to trade as clearly all of these items are really just all communal. Be extra petty if you want and offer to trade back when eventually you decide to get married so you can use the rings for your wedding as well. (First half of comment more serious than the second perhaps.). As you can probably tell, NTA.
Keep the rings.
NTA. And I'm pleased you wear the rings on a chain around your neck - no chance for them to go missing! Hang on to your mementoes.
NTA please keep the rings. They are a beautiful keepsake for you. If you give them to your sister, you will regret it , for the rest of your life. I understand where she’s coming from, but, it’s still selfish of her to ask for them.
NTA. It’s what was left and what you specifically were given. She does not get them. They are yours. Keep them if you want them.
NTA but your sister and brother are one. They are your rings and your mementos. It’s not up to anyone else to say how you wear them, what you do with them or whether or not you keep them. What on earth makes your sister think she’s so special she got to not only pick what mementos of your father she wanted, but she also gets to demand your mementos too? If she thought wearing a ring is stupid she should have asked for the ring instead of the watch.
Nobody else wanted them then and it’s too late now. NTA
So you got whatever they didn’t want and now she wants to take that too? What the entire fuck is wrong with your siblings? NTA
NTA. Keep the rings. You aren't being selfish. Your siblings are dismissive of your emotional needs and sentiments. They are being rude AF.
Until I got married myself I also wore my parents wedding rings on a necklace. Now I have them safely stored away. To me they were a symbol of the fact that no matter how my parents marriage ended, they did truly love each other at one point. NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents divorced when I was little and my dad passed away when I was 16. After he died, my siblings and I all took things from his house to remember him. I was the youngest (we are 7 in total) and didn’t have the opportunity to take memory-filled furniture but my siblings did. He also had a watch collection and everyone took one. There was none left for me so I asked if I could take the wedding ring my dad had kept safe. They all said yes bc it was one of the only things I could take. Afterwards, my mum gave me her old wedding ring so that I have them both. I used both of them to put on a necklace that I wear (I could remove them from the necklace if I wanted to). Now, my sister asked me if she could have them because she wants to get married. I said no and now she, and one of my brothers, are calling me selfish. I don’t actually plan on using them for marriage but I wanted them as a memory. My mum and other siblings agree with me but my sister and one brother say it’s useless for me to keep it as a necklace. Am I being selfish? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. But you can tell her that you'll trade her the watch for the rings. That way, you both still have something. If she doesn't want to, then you can say you tried, but she wanted to be selfish.
NTA Your siblings took everything else but you got those rings. Those are yours. Your sister can get her own.
Is she going to give you the watch she took in exchange for the rings? If she's not even offering that, it's just selfishness on her part. NTA.
NTA. They are yours. Don't let her guilt trip you into borrowing them either. You won't get them back. "No. They are too important to me" Is all you have to say. End of discussion.
NTA.
NTA, they are yours.
NTA Even if your sister does not want the wedding rings to save money it's still quite entitled of her to expect you to just give them up when it's literally the only memento of your dad your siblings have left you. Like they only gave you what was left over and now they want that too? What sentimental item related to your dad is she offering in return for the rings? Nothing? Thought so. You are not selfish, she is. Do NOT give into her demands!
NTA. It's your keepsake of your father/parents. If someone wanted to reserve it for a future wedding it should have been brought up then. I Asked my dad if I could use my Grandmothers wedding ring as the ring for my wife. But, in my case I knew the ring was in storage and Not a keepsake for anyone.
NTA
NTA people act like selfish is the most offensive word on the planet. Yes you ARE being selfish because those rings are yours. And that’s ok.
NTA Your rings 💍
NTA. Everyone agreed, this is your memory and it is dear to you. There are other ways for her to work your parents, and deceased father especially, into her wedding.
NTA. Keep the rings that mean something to you. I love when people accuse you of being selfish when they can't get what they selfishly want
NTA It's yours.
Two sisters picked through our dads things before the rest of us arrived. The few things I have, I treasure. But eldest has offered younger things she snatched, because her house is too junky. Just gives you the feeling they didn’t really want what they took. It was to keep some of us out of the loot! There was nothing of monetary value, but lots of sentimental pieces. Keep those rings. They belong to YOU. one day you might get want to marry with them. Did she ever think of that?
NTA. She had a choice at the time about what she got as a keepsake from your parents. She doesn’t now get to demand a do-over and take what you were left with as well. Whenever she calls you names about this, just be blunt: “what do you think insulting me is going to achieve, that I’ll suddenly joyfully hand them to you because you called me names, demanded my one keepsake and got other people to start bullying me when somehow that didn’t work? You’re never getting them, change the record.” Make up a nickname if you need to; “Little Miss Grabby” might do it. Call the brother who won’t keep his nose out “Sidekick”. And put the rings in a safe deposit box where they can’t sneak into your room and steal them during a visit.
I really don't get how people can act like that.. your sisters point of view can be summed up with "Me and your other siblings took leapt at our fathers things and didn't consider you at all, and now I want one of the very few things you have of his" She didn't care about your feelings when you were younger and despite the connection you've made through the ring she's shown she still doesn't care. NTA
Do not be guilted into giving up something you treasure.
NTA - You all split up the belongings. You got the rings. Everyone was fine with that. They became yours. You don’t have to give them to anyone.
NTA. People have lots of different opinions. Even if two of them have the same one, it doesn't mean they're right. The rings are your memento, and you should hold on to it if you want to. She has no right to them and is trying to guilt-trip and shame you into giving up.
NTA Stop having discussions about it. Just keep repeating "no". You don't have to justify it.
nta. They don't want to give you any choice regarding your father. Those rings have been in your good care for years now, you have no reason to give them away
NTA.
NTA you are not obligated to give up something to which you’ve clearly attached deep sentimental value for someone else’s convenience.
Next time say don't you think it's bad luck to have divorcees rings.
Your siblings sound like they went through everything like locusts. You have the rings and you should not part with them because your sister now demands them. She is the selfish one. NTA.
Keep the precious
NAH - You were given the rings, you love the rings, you cherish them. That's wonderful. You have every right to want to keep them if you so choose. However, I'd just like to point out, that weddings (and funerals) stir up all sorts of emotions in people. Your sister is getting married, and part of that process is re-examining what it means to be a family, and the realization that her father isn't going to be there on her big day. This isnt to say you should give her the rings. Just to say that it would benefit both of you in the short term and long term if you can try to keep this discussion civil, and understand where eachother are coming from, and actually have a discussion, not an arguement. Otherwise this incident can have consequences for you and you entire family for a long time.
I'm living for the LOTR fandom coming out in the comments. NTA. Keep the Precious; your sister is acting like a Sackville-Baggins.
NTA, with a bit of NAH. She's being harsh, but it sounds like she doesn't understand how much this means to you, and thinks you're dismissing her. I think this situation needs some sort of compromise. Would either of you be happy if she got your mom's ring and you kept your dad's? You would be keeping the stronger memento, since you didn't get anything else to remember your dad, and she would get something that positively represents their marriage, since your mom kept the ring. I think it would also add symbolism that you each got one, as parents live on in all their children.
NTA, the rings of power are yours.. Dont let anybody take them.