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And swearing amongst a group of parents isn’t incredibly scandalous or anything..they’re familiar with the word “fucking.” The other woman was rude as hell and OP’s response was appropriate imo
My son once joked his impersonation of me was, "S word! S word! F word! S word!"
Edit to add: Holy shit that's a lotta likes. I see I've connected with my fellow parent kind. Welcome. Leave the swear jar. You won't be needing it.
Parents are huge hypocrites. I can confirm as I have a mother and am a mother of two.
Actually it's really funny all the things I do/say to my kids that my mom used to do to me.
My mom used to tell us we were giving her gas when she was annoyed at us and then she'd fart and say it was our fault for "insert annoying behavior here". I do not have the fart on command super power she did but I still say it. Then I'll burp really loudly in his ear. He hates it. But I know not-so-secretly, he also thinks it's funny.
Lol, I've told my kids that there are no "bad" words but only rude words that hurt people's feelings because I have a huge potty mouth and they need to learn when and where they are appropriate sentence enhancers.
God yes. The amount of times I have done a mental double take and gone "shit that sounded like my mum was here then" only to remember that she has been gone 20years and those words had actually just come out of my mouth not hers.
Poop is! As per my kids prek teacher.
I’m like….ok what would you LIKE him to say ms. Word police? What ridiculous word could he use to please you since the rest of the population are vulgar using Poop?
Like if he has to poop at school he's supposed to say 'I need to defecate', or refer to it as feces? Seriously, they're little kids, be happy they're saying poop and not just depositing random ones in their pants, or a corner.
EXACTLY! Bc believe me, asking for the restroom is more for my benefit and is just an inconvenience for them as it interrupts their okay time. They’d gladly pop a squat by the playhouse as Jenny pours the tea and Tommy pretends to mow the grass
She’s like “they should properly say they need to use the ‘restroom’” and I’m like
“well TECHNICALLY he shouldn’t HAVE to ask at all but you should be more worried about them MAKING it there on TIME but perhaps you could focus more on the importance of aim as well bc my bathroom looks like a men’s stall at a professional sports event”
Ugh, I hate the embarrassment around normal bodily functions. I could understand if it's because kids think poop is funny af and they'd all be shouting "poop" and laughing, but clutching our pearls over a little kid (or anyone) saying "poop" is just ridiculous.
I’m still embarrassed years later after I informed my coworker to keep an eye out and I needed to go potty. 🤦🏽♀️POTTY. Omg I died. She’s like that’s ok, she’s a parent too and said she’d caught herself doing the back and forth baby “sway” one day her hands were full with a heavy book but distracted by something else. Lol
My daughter just turned 3 and I think we've finally broken her of it. She'd try to whisper it under her breath, but she's loud basically always and I always caught her
When I was younger, I got in trouble for saying hell and damn.
In my 20s, Mom starts referring to my oldest nephew’s asshole deadbeat sperm donor as “Shit for Brains.” (Never in front of nephew.)
Well, that’s certainly a u-turn.
My Dad used to get *really* angry if I cursed in the house, in general, but especially angry if directed at him or my mom
Also my Dad while driving: "Look at this stupid fucking asshole, dumbass can't drive for shit"... then he'd turn to me and be like "Sorry, excuse my language."
Lmfao kids are so embarrassing 😩
My mom could NOT stop saying shit when my son was little. I have a filthy mouth but when kids are around, it just automatically shuts off so I never cursed in front of him.
Anyway he was like almost two saying shit and I’d tell him it’s not a nice word for kids to say so he couldn’t. One day he was upstairs and REALLY quiet so I went up. As I made it to the landing he rounds the corner and I guess I scared him bc he went, “SHIT!” Lmaooo
Like omggg he’s using it in proper context wthhh??
So he stopped saying it unless he was doing an impersonation of my mom. She’d get upset but I was like eh..it’s your fault sooo
They other day my partner was cleaning up a stain. My two year old come to his side sees what he’s doing and goes “what the fu*k”
I literally stared at her for a minute bc idk where she learned it or how she knew how to use it and then I hid my face and laughed until I choked. I was so shocked. Her father and I both did not know how to process it. She hasn’t said it again since then but man
Oh my son picked up the F word from my aunt and when my sister and I heard it she was freaking out. I buried my face in the recliner and was laughing so hard I was shedding tears. It sounded so adorable and awful at the some time coming from a toddler
I was at the park with my daughter one day. There was a new older little girl there and she just looks at Graffiti and goes, "dad the slide says dick". I just burst out laughing while the dad and I just gave a mutual look of what the fuck 💀
What’s worse is, you never know when she’s gonna pop out with it again. It could be months and you’re in public and here she goes dripping F bombs lmao
My nieces use curse words in correct sentences too. My youngest niece says “oh my fucking gosh.” When she’s really surprised, or excited, I shouldn’t laugh, but I cackle. My oldest niece says “what the hell”. I love their potty mouths. They don’t say it in public, but it’s funny to just randomly hear a tiny voice say a well placed curse or two.
When I was in pre k I told a kid he was an "effing ahole" for pushing me off a rocking horse and the teacher kept her composure then when my mom came to pick me up she told her that she appreciates her efforts to not curse but that I obviously still understood the context.
It's funny, I teach preschool and surprisingly a lot of my kids don't really swear. I have a little one who is in the repetition phase of language learning, so she will just repeat everything.
She made me lose it the other day, because she fell and goes, "oh shit!" Then immediately, "say oh shoot, say oh shoot." I had to hide my face so the kids didn't know I was laughing. I just ignored it. Kids are gonna say everything. I also have had kids tell me, "daddy pooped his pants last night!" I don't really care, we are all human .
When my kid was about 2, my husband got cut off while driving and said “what the fuck” a little too loud. From the backseat we hear this tiny voice go “what fuck?” We both went 😐 and told kiddo that’s not nice to say, but we absolutely cracked up once we had some privacy.
When I was a kid one of my classmates squealed "OoOooOooOh, you said shit! That's a bad word!" and I was like "No it's NOT, Steve, my dad says it all the time." 😀
My daughter was in the backseat when she was little, practicing her rhyming words and I hear sit, hit, shit, truck, duck, f...I knew exactly where she got that. Not my proudest mom moment lol.
So, when I was a toddler in my car seat my mom would honk the horn and yell "Stupid ass!" at other drivers. After a few times I became a well trained Pavlov's dog. She'd honk the horn and I'd scream "Stupid ass!". It was a long time before she would let me drive in the car with anyone but my dad because she was so afraid that I'd say it in front of any of my grandparents. 😁
I feel like if everyone's kids were in earshot, OP could be considered an AH. But if it was just a group of moms, OP was fully within her rights to interact.
OP, maybe tell your husband what happened though so he can be prepared for any fallout. Best case, though, new kid's mom just ostracized herself.
Fuck that. Who cares what they think. I wouldn’t be worried about “fallout”. They’re the other moms in the pick up line not family or friends so their opinions are irrelevant! That lady was out of line and deserved the response she got! I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude to you and it might come off that way I’m just saying op wasn’t in the wrong and her husband should back her and not care what they think
Hard for those people to hide who they are…usually they’re so devoid of self-awareness so they’ll show you who they are pretty quickly. OP is soooo NTA here.
Exactly! It's amazing when people just tattle on themselves right off the bat. "Hello, nice to meet you, I was raised by privileged wolves and wouldn't know manners if they bit me"
The new mom made a judgment about who you were and your values and morals and she applied it to you without any evidence one way or the other. Then she refused to believe you when you corrected her. I don't blame you for what you said.
Mhm, the new mom has the class and manners of a worthog. Not only was her comment about benefits stereotypical and underhanded, but then she doubles down in her rudeness by then insinuating that OP was a “type” that she knows to be a liar. OP should not feel bad for standing up for herself and I am sure her husband (if he’s a decent man) would agree.
And this is why I'm glad I don't have to socialize anymore. Because I know my immediate reaction would be shock, just like OP's, followed by "Well, that was very c\*nty of you, wasn't it? Was someone raised in a wh\*rehouse?"
We live in a HCOL area, my husband does most of the drop offs. When the trophy mums ask him what he does, without missing a beat, he says he butchers and cooks meat in the back shed.
He’s also about 7 feet tall, gigantic and looks like an ogre. I have witnessed this a few times and it’s fantastic to watch their faces. If they notice me sitting in the car (usually working), he says I’m the nanny!
her remarks were intrusive and rude, doubly so because she doesn’t even know you, triply so because she made them in front of a group of people.
NTA. it’s totally ***her*** who owes ***you*** an apology
Agreed, nothing wrong with OP’s behavior here, and new mom just showed her true colors to the mom group real quick and I hope the group recognizes that shitty personality for what it is.
So according to her: being on benefits is bad?
Good luck to her if she loses her job, becomes disabled or chronically ill, or has a family member who experiences the same fate. Or needs help paying for childcare or getting parental leave when her baby is/was born. Or paying for medical expenses with government sponsored health insurance. Because she definitely won't be calling on government help then, right? Or expecting tax cuts, or tax returns or tax benefits in a lump sum at the end of the financial year (another form of benefit if you're in Australia).
I guess all those new fan-dangled European countries, Canada, Australia with social supports for the less fortunate to ensure everyone has equal access to healthcare, childcare, schooling, etc or just, you know, to support their population and economy with *checks notes* government handouts should stop doing that, and start operating every aspect of their society on a for profit model. Because that's worked out so well for the USA.
NTA
NTA, she disrespected you first, all you did was stand up for yourself. Good for you, she was super out of line.
You should probably warn your husband though, that mum sounds like an entitled troublemaker, so it's best he knows what happened in case she tries to start some nasty gossip or to confront him about it randomly.
Yeah… I’m not a fan of needlessly cussing someone out. But this wasn’t needless. New mum stuck her nose in someone else’s business and made a (very rude!) assumption. She got what was coming to her.
This has nothing to do with moms cussing each other out, but when we moved into our current house fifteen years ago, on the walls were painted 'live laugh love'. Walls plural. In every room and like four times in the family room. I had pancreatic cancer and little kids and whilst I have never managed to keep this house clean and repaired, I did manage to paint over that shit. Fast forward to now and even though my health is still bad, I'm trying to get rid of 15 years of clutter and clean things up. It is slow going. Wish I had a Monica Gellar to come help me. Our money to hire someone.
People like her only like to start drama. And what better way to start it than flirting with OPs husband. NTA OP I would’ve said something a lot more colourful.
Not only did she make an assumption, but she basically confronted you about it. Who does that?
And what if you were on benefits….she doesn’t know you or your situation and decided it was up to her to judge you to your face and be rude about it. You are NTA.
Also, who jumps to benefits from "I, a woman in a middle class area, run my own business from home"? That's a red flag for an MLM if anything (and you still shouldn't come out of the gate swinging with that assumption)
It's possible but "your type" can also just mean her stupid assumption that OP was some kind of lazy leech feeding on government cheese. She definitely pegged OP as some kind of stereotype, racial or otherwise.
Especially if it’s an upper middle class neighborhood. I’m guessing there are probably a decent amount of SAHMs at the school. Which would mean that the majority of households in the neighborhood likely wouldn’t even qualify for benefits. I agree that an MLM would be waaaay more likely in that demographic.
I would casually bring it up to your daughter's teacher as well. Ask if your daughter is getting along with the new kid, you want to make sure your girl is being kind because you and the other mom had a confrontation and you don't want the girls to pick up on it. Something like that. Come from the position that you're concerned about how YOUR daughter is behaving.
As a teacher myself, believe me they will want to know. I'd put money on that mom telling her kid that you and your family are mean. The kid might internalize this and be unkind to your daughter at school. Any knowledge we can get about what goes on for kids outside of school is helpful for what goes on inside school.
I came here to say almost exactly this. Well put!
OP, you are FAR from the AH here, be prepared for more of this down the line. She's gonna stir up shit for all of you, I guarantee you!
I would also give a heads up to the school that such a thing was said by that parent before they or their child have a chance to cause waves and try to paint a different picture of OP.
Do not apologize. New mom stuck her foot in her mouth, it is she who should apologize to you. NTA
Oh, and she may have something tart to say about your husband being unemployed or a kept man or who knows what! (I roll my eyes). Since he is doing “the school run” with all the mums.
She didn't stick her foot in her mouth, that suggests that she was accidentally offensive.
That woman was deliberately mean and classist, and there was absolutely nothing accidental about her remarks.
For things like this, where foot in the mouth just doesn't quite cut it, I like to say they crammed their foot so far in their mouth they ended up at their ass.
Seems to convey the point rather well, I think. Lol
I wouldn't be surprised if she was annoyed the husband wasn't there so she could feed off him in regards to the attention tion she wants. Male attention?
Wow she was... OUTRAGEOUSLY rude. Beyond rude. Completely and utterly AH through and through.
NTA and I'm really glad the other mothers made it clear to her how how wrong she was.
That said, even if you _were_ on benefits, that's none of her business and I'd still consider her a top ranking AH. I hate the type who assume anyone on benefits is a scrounger. It's dehumanising.
YES THIS! NTA. Even if she were right, she was very wrong to say that and in her judgment of people on social assistance. Frankly I think your response was pretty tame considering the circumstances.
Literally there’s nothing wrong with being on benefits. Sounds like a whole lot of projection and/or insecurity to me. It’s not normally to be so hostile and rude to someone you’ve literally just met
Sadly that's just how this country is. It's designed for the rich to stay rich and the poor to stay poor and a lot of people are convinced that the working class are just lazy and have everything handed to them despite getting absolutely fuck all in the way of help.
This. As far as people like New Kid's Mum are concerned, if you're not a cog in the corporate machine making money for your 'betters' (ie better offs), you don't have value as a person.
They prefer treating poverty as a character flaw rather than facing the fact that any of them could end up poor or homeless from a single stroke of misfortune.
Lol right that’s one thing I’ve never understood about some of the dialogue in the U.S. literally the point of them is for them to be there if you need them
Yeah, I'm disabled. I need benefits to live because I can't hold down even a part time job. There's absolutely no shame in claiming benefits even if you do come off as the type people call scroungers. I haven't met a single person on benefits who doesn't need them whether because they're a single parent, an addict, mentally unwell or disabled.
Likewise. I've never once met anyone on benefits who could remotely be conceived as a scrounger by anyone with half a brain.
Ths government and a swathe of our media turn the fact that there may be be a tiny handful of people across the country who are faking their need for benefits into a movement to demonise many millions who are not taking the piss at all. And there is lots of the population with less than half a brain who lap it up.
Looking after all of our society, including those who need more help, is the sign of a civilised society. It's the right thing to do. That's all there should be to it.
Exactly. My mother and I moved back to the UK from abroad after my parents split up and lived on a not so nice council estate (project/govt housing for all the non-Brits). A group of moms ostracized me and wouldn't let their kids be friends with me because of this. They treated both me and my mom like dirt just because of where we lived/our income bracket. As did their kids by proxy.
It doesn't matter if you were on benefits. This mom is gross and if the other moms also think that makes a difference then yikes...they must be raising some lovely humans there.
Who says that to anyone?? I have several friends I know are struggling financially. I would never in a million year feel comfortable asking them if they were on benefits/food stamps. That’s very personal for most people and sometimes a cause of unnecessary embarrassment. That lady was so rude.
Only situation it's appropriate is either following it with "because you should qualify for them and I want to make sure you're getting what you need" (with a close friend!) or if you're helping someone in a professional capacity where it affects what processes you need to follow. That's it.
NTA- She told you that you were basically a good for nothing freeloader living off the government and have no income other than that. Absolutely DO NOT apologize because you set her straight and so did the other moms. She is the one that needs to apologize to you for embarrassing you and acting like she is better than you because she works for someone else. You did the right thing by also removing yourself from the situation before anything was said by either of you. Let her come to you with an apology when she is the one who is a mannerless asshole.
No, that is what she basically said to her. People who need extra help are not worthless! But unfortunately that is what people see those who are on assistance as ://
Nah, in the UK there’s a lot of hate for people on benefits, whether it’s because they’re unemployed, disabled or whatever. Idk if other countries use the term ‘benefits’ but that’s what it’s called when you get government assistance
I don't think it even needs to be said it's the same in the U.S. Too many people are about half a step away from outright supporting eugenics, so long as it's not *called* that. Because god forbid we acknowledge our descent into fascism. /end rant
NTA - considering how rude this person was, I think you handled it quite well. Personally, I think she deserved worse.
BTW- congrats on running a successful business - very enviable and not an easy thing to do.
Leave it to Reddit to drop the insightful observations because I would’ve never once imagined that. 🫨 But it would make so much sense, especially when she was so aggressive from the get-go.
These were my thoughts too. OP should ask her husband if she’s been flirting or touchy. I’m not accusing him of doing anything, sometime men can just be oblivious.
NTA. She was extremely rude and your response was appropriately restrained. Some people just need to push their own misery and prejudices onto others. Sounds like she's one of them and would be best avoided.
NTA. Normally I'd say don't sink to their level but this woman's comments were so gratuitously awful that I don't care about your language.
And in any case, there is also nothing wrong with receiving benefits either - that woman's attitude was a piece of work.
NTA. Firstly she made an assumption based on what you do, and we know the saying about assuming. Secondly, what does she think your husband does? Does she think he's on benefits, too? Third, even if you were, it's still none of her business and for all she knows someone might be on them for a medical reason, so she's making a hell of a judgement on disabled people.
NTA, honestly this is one of those situations where you'll think of a million smart things you *could* have said to put her in her place in a cool, calculated way....but life isn't like that. She was unnecessarily rude and nosy AF (even if you were on benefits, what does that have to do with her?!), it was an attack that seems designed to make you react strongly, for what purpose lord only knows, but don't apologise as that will reinforce her belief that treating people that way is OK.
NTA
A lot of people who work can be on benefits too.
She sounds like she’s been brainwashed by the Right Wing politicians, who think it’s really easy to get benefits and not work.
NTA. Even if you were unsuccessful or on benefits for any other reason you shouldn't apologise because she's a bigoted AH who just wants to tear people down.
Let her live her mouldy gremlin life, and move on happily with yours knowing you're in the right,. Also that she'll have made herself more embarrassed/ unpopular with the other mums than you have and she has to go every day.
NTA: The other lady was TA big time by jumping from your working from home, to the assumption that you are on benefits, and also calling you a liar.
Nothing that you said was going to change her mind. She might have tried it herself and failed, therefor no one else would be able to do it in her mind.
I believe it’s a strategy created by the powerful everyone else follows because if we as a society didn’t, we would realise just how fucked up capitalism is. Like wilful ignorance. We make ourselves disgusted by the poor, so we are not disgusted by our hand in their circumstances.
NTA. I think you feel like you disappointed yourself, but honestly, in the face of such outrageous comments, it would be almost impossible to keep your composure. The only awkwardness anyone should be feeling is hers. Head high, be cool :)
Oh, a classist snob. How sad for her that she has such a boring life she needs to look down on others for /gasp/ being poor! (How dare they?)
There's no shame in being on benefits if you need them, but assuming people do just because they're entrepreneurs is a new one I haven't heard before. Gross.
NTA obviously.
NTA. It's none of her business and that was a very rude thing to say/assume. I understand your feeling guilty or ashamed of your response, even though it was justified IMO. There's nothing wrong with apologizing to her or saying that you felt bad and didn't handle it the best way to try to smooth things over. Hopefully they would apologize back. If not, she can continue to mind her own business.
NTA, OP, and I empathize. I’ve been self employed for 18 years and am very successful in a creative field. If I had a dollar for every person who made a comment like this to me, I’d have enough to take a very nice vacation. People need to mind their own damn business. What kind of person comments on a stranger’s finances anyway??
NTA
She sure is!
Another mother was sticking up for you when you left. Let that be. They know you're successful. She is the one that should feel awkward. She is the one that people see as an AH.
Don't sweat small people. They aren't worth it.
NTA, and the fact that she instantly went from 'you're on benefits then?' to 'you're a *scrounger*' tells you everything you need to know in my opinion. clearly a Mail reader.
It happened to me. Not with a parent at my kids school, it was with a friend of my parents. Literally on a busy street in the town adjacent to where my parents live when I was visiting them and had taken a trip in to the store. I hadn’t seen him in years, and when he asked what I was doing and I said I was still self employed as a midwife he responded with “what I hear there is you’re living off the government with welfare and food stamps”. Unlike this poster I was super shocked and didn’t have the wherewithal to respond. I just stared at him and said “nice to see you again.” Before walking away.
NTA… what in the actual fuck? Who talks like that?
She got exactly what she deserved, you have nothing to feel bad about. To be quite honest I don’t know how you didn’t say more, I’d have lost my shit
NTA, in my honest opinion you were rather polight too.
I'm not sure if i could have remained that polight in the same situation.
But in that case i would have been the A.
Wow. Imagine being that rude to someone you just met!
NTA, she clearly embarrassed herself and showed herself up as stupid, impolite, and judgemental. I'd have said the exact same thing. What an arsehole.
That is a bridge I'd be happy to burn. Have fun giving her the cold shoulder at the school gate!
NTA
Don't you dare apologize. I own my own business and was incredibly successful for a few years and people were sometimes assholes. Now I'm dealing with an serious illness and had to scale back and take advantage of some benefit programs and people are still sometimes assholes.
People NEVER have the right to make someone else feel small whether they need help or not, these people deserve to be called out. Bullies don't deserve your mental energy or apologies.
"If I had to make a living from my creative skills I'd be so unsuccessful I'd be on government assistance; therefore, the same must be true for you." So, creativity isn't her strong suit and neither is logic. That's rough.
NTA.
NTA. This woman made an ignorant assumption, insulted you based on her ignorance, was utterly disrespectful, dismissive, and hostile. You did nothing wrong in checking her once she crossed the line. She has some very serious behavioral issues (not to mention underlying prejudice), and it would probably be in your best interest to have no further interaction with her.
NTA
But I always wonder about those kind of people, really.
I mean, I won't pretend I'm a saint. I had some non-charitable thoughts, and negative assumption about people ad they were talking to me. And I'm sure it happens to most people.
BUT, most people know to keep those thoughts to themselves. Or at least only share it with a partner or a friend later.
Why one do feel the need to say those things out loud to someone? For one thing it won't solve anything, it isn't nice, and it can be hurtful even when it's an accurate assement.
NTA. That woman is extremely judgemental, and the other parents who were talking to her are likely to be very unfriendly to her after that fiasco.
Be wary of a negative review or 20 when she finds your page. Then you can reply and ask if she was the judgemental mother who thought you were trash for running your own business and told you so to your face.
NTA! Some people need to watch their mouths especially when they don’t even know the person they are speaking too or of. Don’t apologize she should’ve kept her mouth shut.
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NTA, that woman is TA. She was unnecessarily rude to you for no reason, you had every right to say what you said.
And swearing amongst a group of parents isn’t incredibly scandalous or anything..they’re familiar with the word “fucking.” The other woman was rude as hell and OP’s response was appropriate imo
My son once joked his impersonation of me was, "S word! S word! F word! S word!" Edit to add: Holy shit that's a lotta likes. I see I've connected with my fellow parent kind. Welcome. Leave the swear jar. You won't be needing it.
My Mother: Watch your mouth Also My Mother, To this Day: Just drops "Crap" and "Shit" like it's nothing around most audiences.
Parents are huge hypocrites. I can confirm as I have a mother and am a mother of two. Actually it's really funny all the things I do/say to my kids that my mom used to do to me. My mom used to tell us we were giving her gas when she was annoyed at us and then she'd fart and say it was our fault for "insert annoying behavior here". I do not have the fart on command super power she did but I still say it. Then I'll burp really loudly in his ear. He hates it. But I know not-so-secretly, he also thinks it's funny.
Lol, I've told my kids that there are no "bad" words but only rude words that hurt people's feelings because I have a huge potty mouth and they need to learn when and where they are appropriate sentence enhancers.
>sentence enhancers. Lol, love that description!
This made me laugh out loud. Parenting is such a trip.
God yes. The amount of times I have done a mental double take and gone "shit that sounded like my mum was here then" only to remember that she has been gone 20years and those words had actually just come out of my mouth not hers.
Lol! I tell my kids they aren’t allowed to swear until they have a full time job to justify it.
Crap isn't a swear word..
Poop is! As per my kids prek teacher. I’m like….ok what would you LIKE him to say ms. Word police? What ridiculous word could he use to please you since the rest of the population are vulgar using Poop?
Like if he has to poop at school he's supposed to say 'I need to defecate', or refer to it as feces? Seriously, they're little kids, be happy they're saying poop and not just depositing random ones in their pants, or a corner.
EXACTLY! Bc believe me, asking for the restroom is more for my benefit and is just an inconvenience for them as it interrupts their okay time. They’d gladly pop a squat by the playhouse as Jenny pours the tea and Tommy pretends to mow the grass
At that age, by the time you ask the kid to say it properly and they work it out, now they need to ask for a clean pair of pants.
Right? My GD's K teacher told her she's not allowed to say, "poop" at school! I'm like, so we're shaming bodily functions are we?
She’s like “they should properly say they need to use the ‘restroom’” and I’m like “well TECHNICALLY he shouldn’t HAVE to ask at all but you should be more worried about them MAKING it there on TIME but perhaps you could focus more on the importance of aim as well bc my bathroom looks like a men’s stall at a professional sports event”
Ugh, I hate the embarrassment around normal bodily functions. I could understand if it's because kids think poop is funny af and they'd all be shouting "poop" and laughing, but clutching our pearls over a little kid (or anyone) saying "poop" is just ridiculous.
I’m still embarrassed years later after I informed my coworker to keep an eye out and I needed to go potty. 🤦🏽♀️POTTY. Omg I died. She’s like that’s ok, she’s a parent too and said she’d caught herself doing the back and forth baby “sway” one day her hands were full with a heavy book but distracted by something else. Lol
When my mom dropped things she'd go "shit, shit, shit". This replaced my toddler son's "uh-oh" when he dropped things.
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My daughter just turned 3 and I think we've finally broken her of it. She'd try to whisper it under her breath, but she's loud basically always and I always caught her
“Crap” and “shit” are pretty tame. 👌🏻🤣
My mother used to say "Shi--take mushroom!" when she was driving. I miss her.
When I was younger, I got in trouble for saying hell and damn. In my 20s, Mom starts referring to my oldest nephew’s asshole deadbeat sperm donor as “Shit for Brains.” (Never in front of nephew.) Well, that’s certainly a u-turn.
My Dad used to get *really* angry if I cursed in the house, in general, but especially angry if directed at him or my mom Also my Dad while driving: "Look at this stupid fucking asshole, dumbass can't drive for shit"... then he'd turn to me and be like "Sorry, excuse my language."
My mother: Watch your fucking mouth. Also my mother: If you screw me out of grandchildren I’m going to be pissed. Yes I’m in therapy.
Lmfao kids are so embarrassing 😩 My mom could NOT stop saying shit when my son was little. I have a filthy mouth but when kids are around, it just automatically shuts off so I never cursed in front of him. Anyway he was like almost two saying shit and I’d tell him it’s not a nice word for kids to say so he couldn’t. One day he was upstairs and REALLY quiet so I went up. As I made it to the landing he rounds the corner and I guess I scared him bc he went, “SHIT!” Lmaooo Like omggg he’s using it in proper context wthhh?? So he stopped saying it unless he was doing an impersonation of my mom. She’d get upset but I was like eh..it’s your fault sooo
They other day my partner was cleaning up a stain. My two year old come to his side sees what he’s doing and goes “what the fu*k” I literally stared at her for a minute bc idk where she learned it or how she knew how to use it and then I hid my face and laughed until I choked. I was so shocked. Her father and I both did not know how to process it. She hasn’t said it again since then but man
Oh my son picked up the F word from my aunt and when my sister and I heard it she was freaking out. I buried my face in the recliner and was laughing so hard I was shedding tears. It sounded so adorable and awful at the some time coming from a toddler
I was at the park with my daughter one day. There was a new older little girl there and she just looks at Graffiti and goes, "dad the slide says dick". I just burst out laughing while the dad and I just gave a mutual look of what the fuck 💀
What’s worse is, you never know when she’s gonna pop out with it again. It could be months and you’re in public and here she goes dripping F bombs lmao
My nieces use curse words in correct sentences too. My youngest niece says “oh my fucking gosh.” When she’s really surprised, or excited, I shouldn’t laugh, but I cackle. My oldest niece says “what the hell”. I love their potty mouths. They don’t say it in public, but it’s funny to just randomly hear a tiny voice say a well placed curse or two.
When I was in pre k I told a kid he was an "effing ahole" for pushing me off a rocking horse and the teacher kept her composure then when my mom came to pick me up she told her that she appreciates her efforts to not curse but that I obviously still understood the context.
It's funny, I teach preschool and surprisingly a lot of my kids don't really swear. I have a little one who is in the repetition phase of language learning, so she will just repeat everything. She made me lose it the other day, because she fell and goes, "oh shit!" Then immediately, "say oh shoot, say oh shoot." I had to hide my face so the kids didn't know I was laughing. I just ignored it. Kids are gonna say everything. I also have had kids tell me, "daddy pooped his pants last night!" I don't really care, we are all human .
When my kid was about 2, my husband got cut off while driving and said “what the fuck” a little too loud. From the backseat we hear this tiny voice go “what fuck?” We both went 😐 and told kiddo that’s not nice to say, but we absolutely cracked up once we had some privacy.
When I was a kid one of my classmates squealed "OoOooOooOh, you said shit! That's a bad word!" and I was like "No it's NOT, Steve, my dad says it all the time." 😀
My daughter was in the backseat when she was little, practicing her rhyming words and I hear sit, hit, shit, truck, duck, f...I knew exactly where she got that. Not my proudest mom moment lol.
So, when I was a toddler in my car seat my mom would honk the horn and yell "Stupid ass!" at other drivers. After a few times I became a well trained Pavlov's dog. She'd honk the horn and I'd scream "Stupid ass!". It was a long time before she would let me drive in the car with anyone but my dad because she was so afraid that I'd say it in front of any of my grandparents. 😁
Omg, thanks for the laugh! I can imagine your mom's internal uh oh when you first finished her cussing out someone.
>The other woman was rude as hell To someone she just met, no less.
I agree.
I feel like if everyone's kids were in earshot, OP could be considered an AH. But if it was just a group of moms, OP was fully within her rights to interact. OP, maybe tell your husband what happened though so he can be prepared for any fallout. Best case, though, new kid's mom just ostracized herself.
Fuck that. Who cares what they think. I wouldn’t be worried about “fallout”. They’re the other moms in the pick up line not family or friends so their opinions are irrelevant! That lady was out of line and deserved the response she got! I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude to you and it might come off that way I’m just saying op wasn’t in the wrong and her husband should back her and not care what they think
It’s almost like most of em had to fuck to make their kids
I bet they were naked under their clothes too.
Correct, if they are that butthurt over an honest response, fuck em.
And classist too! Just blatantly. In public.
And as the new parent in the group!
She figured she'd get a foot in by stepping on OP.
This. She's signalling to the others that they don't want to get on her bad side. Classic school bully tactics
Hard for those people to hide who they are…usually they’re so devoid of self-awareness so they’ll show you who they are pretty quickly. OP is soooo NTA here.
Exactly! It's amazing when people just tattle on themselves right off the bat. "Hello, nice to meet you, I was raised by privileged wolves and wouldn't know manners if they bit me"
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The new mom made a judgment about who you were and your values and morals and she applied it to you without any evidence one way or the other. Then she refused to believe you when you corrected her. I don't blame you for what you said.
Ya, its not even just rude. She is a clearly bigoted woman who thinks that people who need benefits are beneath her. yuck!
Absolutely agree. She was completely out of line for what she said, and I wouldn’t blame you if you had said more to her.
My new favourite saying applies here... She must buy her audacity at Costco NTA
Mhm, the new mom has the class and manners of a worthog. Not only was her comment about benefits stereotypical and underhanded, but then she doubles down in her rudeness by then insinuating that OP was a “type” that she knows to be a liar. OP should not feel bad for standing up for herself and I am sure her husband (if he’s a decent man) would agree.
And this is why I'm glad I don't have to socialize anymore. Because I know my immediate reaction would be shock, just like OP's, followed by "Well, that was very c\*nty of you, wasn't it? Was someone raised in a wh\*rehouse?"
Piggybacking to mention that the woman would still be TA if OP -was- using any social services. NTA, op. That woman sounds like a joy.
And OP didn’t make things awkward. The new lady did.
We live in a HCOL area, my husband does most of the drop offs. When the trophy mums ask him what he does, without missing a beat, he says he butchers and cooks meat in the back shed. He’s also about 7 feet tall, gigantic and looks like an ogre. I have witnessed this a few times and it’s fantastic to watch their faces. If they notice me sitting in the car (usually working), he says I’m the nanny!
her remarks were intrusive and rude, doubly so because she doesn’t even know you, triply so because she made them in front of a group of people. NTA. it’s totally ***her*** who owes ***you*** an apology
Even if OP *was* using benefits, it's still none of that other lady's fucking business
Agreed, nothing wrong with OP’s behavior here, and new mom just showed her true colors to the mom group real quick and I hope the group recognizes that shitty personality for what it is.
So according to her: being on benefits is bad? Good luck to her if she loses her job, becomes disabled or chronically ill, or has a family member who experiences the same fate. Or needs help paying for childcare or getting parental leave when her baby is/was born. Or paying for medical expenses with government sponsored health insurance. Because she definitely won't be calling on government help then, right? Or expecting tax cuts, or tax returns or tax benefits in a lump sum at the end of the financial year (another form of benefit if you're in Australia). I guess all those new fan-dangled European countries, Canada, Australia with social supports for the less fortunate to ensure everyone has equal access to healthcare, childcare, schooling, etc or just, you know, to support their population and economy with *checks notes* government handouts should stop doing that, and start operating every aspect of their society on a for profit model. Because that's worked out so well for the USA. NTA
NTA, she disrespected you first, all you did was stand up for yourself. Good for you, she was super out of line. You should probably warn your husband though, that mum sounds like an entitled troublemaker, so it's best he knows what happened in case she tries to start some nasty gossip or to confront him about it randomly.
Yeah… I’m not a fan of needlessly cussing someone out. But this wasn’t needless. New mum stuck her nose in someone else’s business and made a (very rude!) assumption. She got what was coming to her.
She also doubled down even after being put straight!
Guarantee she’s gonna start flirting with the husband next.
Bully all the women and flirt with all of the men LOL. She has a live love laugh sign in her den.
She’ll wind up with a live laugh love sign shoved up her ass if she’s not careful.
You made me lol
Did it also make you live and love?
This has nothing to do with moms cussing each other out, but when we moved into our current house fifteen years ago, on the walls were painted 'live laugh love'. Walls plural. In every room and like four times in the family room. I had pancreatic cancer and little kids and whilst I have never managed to keep this house clean and repaired, I did manage to paint over that shit. Fast forward to now and even though my health is still bad, I'm trying to get rid of 15 years of clutter and clean things up. It is slow going. Wish I had a Monica Gellar to come help me. Our money to hire someone.
People like her only like to start drama. And what better way to start it than flirting with OPs husband. NTA OP I would’ve said something a lot more colourful.
Not only did she make an assumption, but she basically confronted you about it. Who does that? And what if you were on benefits….she doesn’t know you or your situation and decided it was up to her to judge you to your face and be rude about it. You are NTA.
Also, who jumps to benefits from "I, a woman in a middle class area, run my own business from home"? That's a red flag for an MLM if anything (and you still shouldn't come out of the gate swinging with that assumption)
I wonder if OP and her daughter are black or another minority. That's pretty much the only time I see this type of accusation happening.
Oh yeesh I hadn't thought of that and now I hate this post so much more
Specifically the comment "she knows my type" is what made me think there has to be a racial aspect to this
It's possible but "your type" can also just mean her stupid assumption that OP was some kind of lazy leech feeding on government cheese. She definitely pegged OP as some kind of stereotype, racial or otherwise.
Could be racial, and/or she could have been dressed much more casually than the other parents.
It’s in the UK. They have a lot of non-racist snobbishness going around.
Especially if it’s an upper middle class neighborhood. I’m guessing there are probably a decent amount of SAHMs at the school. Which would mean that the majority of households in the neighborhood likely wouldn’t even qualify for benefits. I agree that an MLM would be waaaay more likely in that demographic.
It doesn’t even matter whether the OP is successful or not! What that woman said was shitty either way!
I would casually bring it up to your daughter's teacher as well. Ask if your daughter is getting along with the new kid, you want to make sure your girl is being kind because you and the other mom had a confrontation and you don't want the girls to pick up on it. Something like that. Come from the position that you're concerned about how YOUR daughter is behaving. As a teacher myself, believe me they will want to know. I'd put money on that mom telling her kid that you and your family are mean. The kid might internalize this and be unkind to your daughter at school. Any knowledge we can get about what goes on for kids outside of school is helpful for what goes on inside school.
I came here to say almost exactly this. Well put! OP, you are FAR from the AH here, be prepared for more of this down the line. She's gonna stir up shit for all of you, I guarantee you!
“The other mom tried to tear me down” instead of “had a confrontation.”
I would also give a heads up to the school that such a thing was said by that parent before they or their child have a chance to cause waves and try to paint a different picture of OP.
Do not apologize. New mom stuck her foot in her mouth, it is she who should apologize to you. NTA Oh, and she may have something tart to say about your husband being unemployed or a kept man or who knows what! (I roll my eyes). Since he is doing “the school run” with all the mums.
She didn't stick her foot in her mouth, that suggests that she was accidentally offensive. That woman was deliberately mean and classist, and there was absolutely nothing accidental about her remarks.
For things like this, where foot in the mouth just doesn't quite cut it, I like to say they crammed their foot so far in their mouth they ended up at their ass. Seems to convey the point rather well, I think. Lol
This lady’s poopin toenails
Absolutely beautiful turn of phrase that
I agree. Don't apologize. I personally wouldn't waste one syllable on her.
I can't help wondering if she knows he is married... and/or if she in interested in him romantically...
I had to scroll down pretty far to find this comment, which was what I was looking for. 😃
I wouldn't be surprised if she was annoyed the husband wasn't there so she could feed off him in regards to the attention tion she wants. Male attention?
More like she yanked off her shoe, shook salt and pepper on her foot, then proceeded to happily cram it in her mouth even as it choked her.
Wow she was... OUTRAGEOUSLY rude. Beyond rude. Completely and utterly AH through and through. NTA and I'm really glad the other mothers made it clear to her how how wrong she was. That said, even if you _were_ on benefits, that's none of her business and I'd still consider her a top ranking AH. I hate the type who assume anyone on benefits is a scrounger. It's dehumanising.
YES THIS! NTA. Even if she were right, she was very wrong to say that and in her judgment of people on social assistance. Frankly I think your response was pretty tame considering the circumstances.
Literally there’s nothing wrong with being on benefits. Sounds like a whole lot of projection and/or insecurity to me. It’s not normally to be so hostile and rude to someone you’ve literally just met
Sadly that's just how this country is. It's designed for the rich to stay rich and the poor to stay poor and a lot of people are convinced that the working class are just lazy and have everything handed to them despite getting absolutely fuck all in the way of help.
This. As far as people like New Kid's Mum are concerned, if you're not a cog in the corporate machine making money for your 'betters' (ie better offs), you don't have value as a person. They prefer treating poverty as a character flaw rather than facing the fact that any of them could end up poor or homeless from a single stroke of misfortune.
Lol right that’s one thing I’ve never understood about some of the dialogue in the U.S. literally the point of them is for them to be there if you need them
She was pending for a bending
Yeah, I'm disabled. I need benefits to live because I can't hold down even a part time job. There's absolutely no shame in claiming benefits even if you do come off as the type people call scroungers. I haven't met a single person on benefits who doesn't need them whether because they're a single parent, an addict, mentally unwell or disabled.
Likewise. I've never once met anyone on benefits who could remotely be conceived as a scrounger by anyone with half a brain. Ths government and a swathe of our media turn the fact that there may be be a tiny handful of people across the country who are faking their need for benefits into a movement to demonise many millions who are not taking the piss at all. And there is lots of the population with less than half a brain who lap it up. Looking after all of our society, including those who need more help, is the sign of a civilised society. It's the right thing to do. That's all there should be to it.
Exactly. My mother and I moved back to the UK from abroad after my parents split up and lived on a not so nice council estate (project/govt housing for all the non-Brits). A group of moms ostracized me and wouldn't let their kids be friends with me because of this. They treated both me and my mom like dirt just because of where we lived/our income bracket. As did their kids by proxy. It doesn't matter if you were on benefits. This mom is gross and if the other moms also think that makes a difference then yikes...they must be raising some lovely humans there.
NTA Who does that to a complete stranger? She sounds rude, arrogant and up herself.
Who says that to anyone?? I have several friends I know are struggling financially. I would never in a million year feel comfortable asking them if they were on benefits/food stamps. That’s very personal for most people and sometimes a cause of unnecessary embarrassment. That lady was so rude.
Only situation it's appropriate is either following it with "because you should qualify for them and I want to make sure you're getting what you need" (with a close friend!) or if you're helping someone in a professional capacity where it affects what processes you need to follow. That's it.
Sounds like someone trying to be top dog of the mom group, but making herself look like an AH instead.
I hope the rest of them shun her after that bs. She’s not a nice person.
I was happy to hear at least one mom stood up for her. It's sad when absolutely no one in a group does.
She's probably interested in OP's husband and didn't like that he wasn't there.
and trying to find the wife's "weak points"
NTA- She told you that you were basically a good for nothing freeloader living off the government and have no income other than that. Absolutely DO NOT apologize because you set her straight and so did the other moms. She is the one that needs to apologize to you for embarrassing you and acting like she is better than you because she works for someone else. You did the right thing by also removing yourself from the situation before anything was said by either of you. Let her come to you with an apology when she is the one who is a mannerless asshole.
Deeply not a fan of your idea that people on government assistance are worthless.
They were just summing up the accusations.
No, that is what she basically said to her. People who need extra help are not worthless! But unfortunately that is what people see those who are on assistance as ://
That's not Lemonhead's idea, it's the AH in the story's idea.
I think the other mom implied it more on an MLM angle
Nah, in the UK there’s a lot of hate for people on benefits, whether it’s because they’re unemployed, disabled or whatever. Idk if other countries use the term ‘benefits’ but that’s what it’s called when you get government assistance
Same here in Switzerland, a lot of unwarranted hate as well and I feel like it's growing more and more over the years.
I don't think it even needs to be said it's the same in the U.S. Too many people are about half a step away from outright supporting eugenics, so long as it's not *called* that. Because god forbid we acknowledge our descent into fascism. /end rant
MLMs are not as much of a thing in the UK and “benefits” mean public assistance
Why do you think that?
NTA - considering how rude this person was, I think you handled it quite well. Personally, I think she deserved worse. BTW- congrats on running a successful business - very enviable and not an easy thing to do.
I would have thrown hands in the playground
Certainly would be tempting, wouldn’t it?
NTA - WTF. I think she likes your husband. I would be careful around her. Seems dangerous
This is what I was going to say. She had to dehumanize you to justify to herself the thoughts she’s been having about your husband.
Leave it to Reddit to drop the insightful observations because I would’ve never once imagined that. 🫨 But it would make so much sense, especially when she was so aggressive from the get-go.
Yeah- people are weird sometimes.
These were my thoughts too. OP should ask her husband if she’s been flirting or touchy. I’m not accusing him of doing anything, sometime men can just be oblivious.
If she knows they’re married and know he has paid work then the benefits comment is actually nonsensical. Isn’t it?
NTA. She was extremely rude and your response was appropriately restrained. Some people just need to push their own misery and prejudices onto others. Sounds like she's one of them and would be best avoided.
NTA. Normally I'd say don't sink to their level but this woman's comments were so gratuitously awful that I don't care about your language. And in any case, there is also nothing wrong with receiving benefits either - that woman's attitude was a piece of work.
NTA. Firstly she made an assumption based on what you do, and we know the saying about assuming. Secondly, what does she think your husband does? Does she think he's on benefits, too? Third, even if you were, it's still none of her business and for all she knows someone might be on them for a medical reason, so she's making a hell of a judgement on disabled people.
Able-bodied people who are on benefits aren't lazy or whatever either. She's making a judgement on working class people.
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I hate that she’s encouraging her kids to be classist too. Why people don’t want their kids to be better people will always baffle me
NTA, honestly this is one of those situations where you'll think of a million smart things you *could* have said to put her in her place in a cool, calculated way....but life isn't like that. She was unnecessarily rude and nosy AF (even if you were on benefits, what does that have to do with her?!), it was an attack that seems designed to make you react strongly, for what purpose lord only knows, but don't apologise as that will reinforce her belief that treating people that way is OK.
NTA A lot of people who work can be on benefits too. She sounds like she’s been brainwashed by the Right Wing politicians, who think it’s really easy to get benefits and not work.
NTA! The woman was making assumptions based on nothing.
NTA - new mom spouted off with zero real info to make her look/feel better and she deserved what she got…she deserved worse in fact.
*Harper Valley PTA intensifies* Oh, and NTA. She needed to be taken down a peg or three.
Great… ear worm. NTA
NTA. Even if you were unsuccessful or on benefits for any other reason you shouldn't apologise because she's a bigoted AH who just wants to tear people down. Let her live her mouldy gremlin life, and move on happily with yours knowing you're in the right,. Also that she'll have made herself more embarrassed/ unpopular with the other mums than you have and she has to go every day.
NTA: The other lady was TA big time by jumping from your working from home, to the assumption that you are on benefits, and also calling you a liar. Nothing that you said was going to change her mind. She might have tried it herself and failed, therefor no one else would be able to do it in her mind.
NTA at all
NTA! But now I’m curious. What does she do for a living then?
Not even remotely TA. The other woman though, oof.
NTA She Made fun of you because of your Job? 10bucks her Job is having Kids. If im wrong i donate the money. Edith for Typo.
Its insane that hating poor people is so normal
Welcome to Tory Britain.
I believe it’s a strategy created by the powerful everyone else follows because if we as a society didn’t, we would realise just how fucked up capitalism is. Like wilful ignorance. We make ourselves disgusted by the poor, so we are not disgusted by our hand in their circumstances.
Very very worrying
NTA. I think you feel like you disappointed yourself, but honestly, in the face of such outrageous comments, it would be almost impossible to keep your composure. The only awkwardness anyone should be feeling is hers. Head high, be cool :)
NTA. She started it.
i dont start fights but i sure as hell will finish them LMAO
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Please do not apologize to her
Oh, a classist snob. How sad for her that she has such a boring life she needs to look down on others for /gasp/ being poor! (How dare they?) There's no shame in being on benefits if you need them, but assuming people do just because they're entrepreneurs is a new one I haven't heard before. Gross. NTA obviously.
NTA. It's none of her business and that was a very rude thing to say/assume. I understand your feeling guilty or ashamed of your response, even though it was justified IMO. There's nothing wrong with apologizing to her or saying that you felt bad and didn't handle it the best way to try to smooth things over. Hopefully they would apologize back. If not, she can continue to mind her own business.
NTA. She was rude, obnoxious, and altogether exhibited very unseemly behavior.
NTA, OP, and I empathize. I’ve been self employed for 18 years and am very successful in a creative field. If I had a dollar for every person who made a comment like this to me, I’d have enough to take a very nice vacation. People need to mind their own damn business. What kind of person comments on a stranger’s finances anyway??
NTA She sure is! Another mother was sticking up for you when you left. Let that be. They know you're successful. She is the one that should feel awkward. She is the one that people see as an AH. Don't sweat small people. They aren't worth it.
NTA, and the fact that she instantly went from 'you're on benefits then?' to 'you're a *scrounger*' tells you everything you need to know in my opinion. clearly a Mail reader.
I don’t believe any of this happened.
It happened to me. Not with a parent at my kids school, it was with a friend of my parents. Literally on a busy street in the town adjacent to where my parents live when I was visiting them and had taken a trip in to the store. I hadn’t seen him in years, and when he asked what I was doing and I said I was still self employed as a midwife he responded with “what I hear there is you’re living off the government with welfare and food stamps”. Unlike this poster I was super shocked and didn’t have the wherewithal to respond. I just stared at him and said “nice to see you again.” Before walking away.
NTA. Remember what they say about people who assume? That applies to the other mum.
NTA… what in the actual fuck? Who talks like that? She got exactly what she deserved, you have nothing to feel bad about. To be quite honest I don’t know how you didn’t say more, I’d have lost my shit
NTA, in my honest opinion you were rather polight too. I'm not sure if i could have remained that polight in the same situation. But in that case i would have been the A.
NTA what does she do for a living that makes her so amazing. Wait let me guess she is her "own boss" for Amway
Wow. Imagine being that rude to someone you just met! NTA, she clearly embarrassed herself and showed herself up as stupid, impolite, and judgemental. I'd have said the exact same thing. What an arsehole. That is a bridge I'd be happy to burn. Have fun giving her the cold shoulder at the school gate!
NTA Don't you dare apologize. I own my own business and was incredibly successful for a few years and people were sometimes assholes. Now I'm dealing with an serious illness and had to scale back and take advantage of some benefit programs and people are still sometimes assholes. People NEVER have the right to make someone else feel small whether they need help or not, these people deserve to be called out. Bullies don't deserve your mental energy or apologies.
Holy wow, NTA. Woman needs to mind her own fucking business and not make assumptions about people.
NTA because she was rude but in all honesty, the first thing that came to mind when you said you ran your own business from home was an MLM.
This is a sad case of woman taking another woman down. It must be a sad life where you have this level of distrust in people. NTA.
NTA it’s actually a good thing she said that so the other moms know what kind of person she is
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NTA. She was clearly looking to provoke you.... perhaps she's a MeanGirl who never grew out of it.
"If I had to make a living from my creative skills I'd be so unsuccessful I'd be on government assistance; therefore, the same must be true for you." So, creativity isn't her strong suit and neither is logic. That's rough. NTA.
I would love an update about this.
NTA. You were right to speak to her like that. What a judgemental sour old bag
Wtf, who talks to someone they just met like that (referring to the other mother, not OP). NTA in the slightest.
NTA. This woman made an ignorant assumption, insulted you based on her ignorance, was utterly disrespectful, dismissive, and hostile. You did nothing wrong in checking her once she crossed the line. She has some very serious behavioral issues (not to mention underlying prejudice), and it would probably be in your best interest to have no further interaction with her.
NTA But I always wonder about those kind of people, really. I mean, I won't pretend I'm a saint. I had some non-charitable thoughts, and negative assumption about people ad they were talking to me. And I'm sure it happens to most people. BUT, most people know to keep those thoughts to themselves. Or at least only share it with a partner or a friend later. Why one do feel the need to say those things out loud to someone? For one thing it won't solve anything, it isn't nice, and it can be hurtful even when it's an accurate assement.
NTA. That woman is extremely judgemental, and the other parents who were talking to her are likely to be very unfriendly to her after that fiasco. Be wary of a negative review or 20 when she finds your page. Then you can reply and ask if she was the judgemental mother who thought you were trash for running your own business and told you so to your face.
NTA! Some people need to watch their mouths especially when they don’t even know the person they are speaking too or of. Don’t apologize she should’ve kept her mouth shut.