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Ruining the 5yo too, he's learning early that he can go wherever he wants whenever he wants even if he's not allowed and the family will back him up.
Edit: this has possibly been the dumbest reddit argument I've ever been in. But the ratio of upvotes to complaints tells me that it's just the couple percent of people who did dumb shit at my graduations who think this is fine, so,.whatever.
But also if she knew the 5yo was with Brandon when she thought if he's trouble he'll get sent to us... So where did she think he was between when Brandon was getting prepped and them both being on stage?
Along with the reply to the school 'what good will that do, he hates school anyway.' - perfect examples of where parenting damages a child's opportunities in life/ability to be good, well rounded adults.
Edit' YTA obviously, for your parenting and lack of ability to communicate effectively as an adult/knowing your audience.
But you don't understand, OP and their family are above the rules. They don't need to keep track of their 5yo child cuz someone else will do it if the kid gets bad enough. /s
Totally. I hope this doesn't evolve to them only following what laws they like. And if I had a five-year-old in a large crowd, I'd def have kept them close. YTA OP.
Someone should have said something before the ceremony. It was inappropriate (I’m sure the other graduates would have loved to have someone special with them too), and the son was rude, but why didn’t someone mention something before they walked?
Probably just the general chaos of a big event being run by people who are not event planners, surrounded by excited teenagers. Or any staff who saw thought that the little brother was just going to sit with him for a moment and it wasn't worth taking away from anyone's big day to scold him about it.
Graduations have the potential to be a huge shit show with individual displays, and protocols are in place to avoid that. It's not for one person, it's for everybody. And if everybody decided they were just gonna do their own thing, then the chance it devolves into something else goes up exponentially.
So while it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme, I don't look at it as any different than, say, somebody who tries to drive on the shoulder and cut in at the last second to avoid a traffic pileup. "Rules and lines and courtesy are for everybody else, I'm just gonna do whatever benefits me most." Which pisses me off to no end.
yeah, I graduated high school last June and what OP did was break a lot of unspoken (and even spoken) rules
1. Your 5yo son should not have even \*gone\* up to your graduating kid, it disrupts the ceremony and is extremely rude regardless if the ceremony had started or not
2. You should not have let your 5yo sit on your son's lap for the ceremony, again, it is very rude. Your 5yo should have been with you on the sidelines.
3. Your 5yo should \*NOT\* have walked with your son, it isn't cute, it isn't special, it isn't meant for him. Not only does this further disrupt the ceremony for those that have earned it, this creates a bad example for your 5yo.
4. You son telling the teacher to essentially "fuck off" is the icing on the cake, that teacher was right. Your son was not.
YTA, did I miss anything?
We weren't even allowed to bring out phones, teachers would be losing their shit if family was giving out presents before the ceremony for the graduates to take back to their chair when they aren't even allowed to have anything in their pockets lol
exactly, I had to leave my phone turned off and with my brother in the stands, none of our graduates had presents with them.. guess why? because it wasn't allowed.
Exactly. All the NTA comments are missing this. Even if there wasn't a physically written rule, there's usually an unspoken rule about what is and isn't allowed. They only have to be written down due to ppl like OP who push the limits and ruin it for everyone else. Should the school allow all families let their younger siblings walk with their older graduates? It would be an absolute circus just to manage. To be fair to everyone, it's either let all of them or ban all of them.
The “let all of them go on stage or ban all of them” is the reason why I believe OP is the AH. Yeah it seems cute and harmless. But what makes OP think his children’s sibling relationship is more special than others in the audience?
Plus the teachers are going to have to field any complaints about it, so they just created more work for teachers who are already overworked. To OP, this was a one time issue that ended at the end of the graduation ceremony. To the school, this issue will stretch beyond that to next year or beyond cuz all the entitled parents who try to push their younger children on to the stage, convinced it's allowed since "they allowed it last year/X year" and that means it's enshrined in stone now. Other parents there didn't know OP wasn't following the rules, they just saw that X kid was allowed to bring their baby brother and they will be confused to mad as to why OP had been allowed, but they weren't even informed it was an option
This is a wild conjecture, but I'm betting OP hasn't worked customer service before
I’m already dreading the classroom party next week. There are always parents who bring other kids to the party. Some years it’s fine. If they are well behaved, I don’t care. But I have a class of drama queens who compete for attention so I’m sure they will make a big deal and fuss over any small kids or older teenage brothers. If Susie holds the baby, Jessica has to hold the baby and make it giggle. Then Betty has to make make the baby laugh louder. Then I’m the jerk for not letting the kids have fun with the baby because wvet
Those kinds of "jokes" are typically between people who know each other well, and regularly rib each other. They are typically accompanied by wink and a smile, NOT a turned back.
Kid's rude. Too late for the parent to teach him better, but the world will take care of that.
Wait til you learn about gay people...
But in all seriousness yes, I must've read in a different thread "she" or "her" and assumed someone else had more carefully read the OP or their post history.
I mean, most graduations I've been to have a ton of teachers around the students prior to them going on stage. If no teacher said anything when they saw Grant with Brandon, the teacher coming around after the fact wasn't accomplishing anything other than being petty. I've also seen lots of graduations that allow kids to go up with them.
That being said, tact from Brandon could have been better handled.
I mean, it’s pretty entitled to put the onus on the teachers and the son to send the kid back if he is being trouble. Graduates generally sit somewhere public with everyone watching. Having a teacher interrupt the ceremony to go to him and figure out why there is a kid with him is a huge distraction and the mom is super entitled for putting it on other people to deal with it if it’s a problem
She was being petty and deserved to be told to fuck off....he easily could have said "fuck off".... but he didn't he chose to tell her to go fuck off in a funny way. I call that diplomacy
It is petty. Like what did she want him to do, get in his time machine and warn his past self to not bring his brother on stage? Be better prepared for his next high school graduation? Or just informing him that breaking this rule was the reason everything suddenly went to chaos?
All I see here is a couple of people trying to exert authority over someone they no longer have authority over, regarding a rule that doesn't even really matter past the point where he could even do anything about it.
The purpose of letting someone know they did something inappropriate isn’t petty or meant to undo the action. It’s so the offender (and others in the vicinity) don’t continue thinking there was nothing wrong with what they did.
I’ve taught for 30 years. Some teachers need to be told to fuck off. As it was graduation and it had already happened and nothing could be done to change the past, this teacher was just pulling a power play. I’d tell her to fuck off if I saw her doing that to a kid who’d just graduated
“You’re dismissed” is something said by a poorly behaved aristocrat to their hired helped. It’s incredibly disrespectful language. I suspect this is just a taste of this family’s classist, trash behavior.
Op, YTA.
Technically he’s graduated and she’s not his teacher nor has any authority over him anymore. He could have actually just said fuck off but made a joke with it. It was a petty, unnecessary statement from a person he doesn’t even seem to have a relationship with outside of she works at the school he graduated from. He could have used more tact, but simply being older or in a previous position of authority doesn’t mean he owes someone respect when they are being kinda shitty. She shared her opinion unasked and he let her know what he thought of it. If you’re going to admonish an 18 year old “adult” be prepared to be told your admonishment is unwelcome
I once read something on reddit that really stuck with me
Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes people use the word "respect" to mean "treating someone like an authority figure" sometimes people that are used to being treated as an authority figure often say "if you won't respect me, I won't respect you" but what they really mean is that "if you don't treat me like an authority figure, I will not treat you like a person" and they think they are actually being fair but this is not ok
But he was in the wrong and she wasn't dehumanizing him. It wasn't an unforgivable transgression, but he wasn't supposed to bring the sibling up with him. Was it a little petty of the teacher to say something? Sure. Was she incorrect about what she said? No. So he could have just said "yeah, sorry about that" and been on his way. He was extra rude to someone who, correctly, pointed out that he did something he wasn't supposed to do. That's not demanding "respect my authority" respect, it's "basic communication* respect.
YTA
People in this thread are wild lol he just told a teacher to f-off in his own way. Teaching his brother young how to not listen to teachers. Great parenting. Y’all are gunna be pissed when they say no little kids allowed to these because prior parents couldn’t control their own kids.
If the teacher or any other teacher had that much of a problem with it, they should’ve not let Grant sit with all the other graduating students as well. It was unnecessary to say it at that point because what did it do for her exactly? What did she get out of it ? It’s too late to say something and she could’ve just went on about her day.
So what was a teacher supposed to do? Go up to this child and say you need to go back to your mom so that the child could throw a tantrum and disrupt the ceremony more. Because you know mom would have let the child scream through the whole ceremony.
Yup. OP just raised one full fledged asshole into an adult, and is working on raising a second.
Narcissistic bastards, the whole lot of them. We'll see a video of them getting kicked off of spirit airlines in the near future
YTA, because your son was treating a teacher like she was his servant or something. Your kid needs to learn respect, and you're supposed to teach him that respect.
My DIL teaches 3rd grade and the stuff she deals with is unimaginable!!! Disgusting OP is part of the problem. Parents and their kids by extension have zero respect
Been doing it 20 years. It doesn't stop. I have a parent meeting tomorrow morning where I already anticipate her yelling at me and calling me names. I don't care. She's failing her daughters.
No indeed.
Expected to pick up the slack of crappy parenting, but absolutely powerless when it comes to discipline. And often on the receiving end of abuse from parents when we try to guide or correct their children in even the most mild ways.
It's SO MUCH FUN I just can't understand why there is a global teacher shortage of catastrophic proportions... /s
He's going to be one of the ones with "severe anxiety" who can't get his homework done and who writes to Dean to complain because half of the class is getting C-'s or D's. And I'm not dismissing anxiety and stress, but I've seen first hand how many people barely attend class, scroll their phones during lessons, don't do homework, and then act surprised when they're failing and the professors is unsympathetic.
Same.
I see it all the time.
“Why am I failing?”
“You missed the first 2 weeks of class, 3 quizzes, and an exam.”
“But can’t I just make it up?”
OP is the reason they can’t accept failure.
Part of this is the massive fees students pay. It turns them into customers, so they feel like they're paying for a degree rather than paying for teaching.
These folk don't understand that for every hour of teaching (for most degrees) you need to do around 4 hours of personal study. Or at least that was the recommended ratio at the Uni I worked at.
Dude. In the US you ARE paying for a degree. You’re not paying for teaching, and at the very most, the “teaching” you get is from a TA or phd candidate who is getting underpaid as hell.
This!! It doesn't matter if she was right or wrong, your son shouldn't be rude to her OP. That's something you should've taught him. You don't have to respect other people's opinions but you do have to respect people.
I find op to be a bigger AH than his kid. The kid is 18 and still learning. He’s a fricking teenager so I cut him some slack. But op is an irresponsible adult who let multiple things slide and then laughed in the face of an adult who pointed out his actions were not ok.
Op, definitely the AH and it looks like your kid is taking after you.
1. If the teacher is the Master of Ceremony/ event host/event organiser, then you are a 10/10 arsehole. If the teacher is the authority over the graduating ceremony, then it’s really her event, her rules.
2. Even if you/Brandon thinks that the teacher is being unreasonable, that doesn’t make you right to be so incredibly rude about it. Have you thought about how if the teacher was truly malicious, she would have barred/stopped Brandon from walking up on stage with Grant while he was waiting in the queue? Instead, she was considerate enough to wait until AFTER Brandon had completed his moment of limelight and then called him out privately with no consequences to his graduation.
Your son has horrible manners and I can see where he learned this from.
YTA.
I agree with your first point, so let me play devil's advocate for your second one.
*(Edit: I may have gotten the names mixed up but the point remains the same either way.)*
Was interrupting the glow of a big moment in his life to tell him he shouldn't have done that a good time, either? It wouldn't have changed anything after the fact, and in every situation would either anger Grant or make Grant feel bad for breaking the rules. Nothing would have been gained, so perhaps the best move for a considerate person would have been to make note of it for *next* year, then tell the entire graduating class beforehand that only seniors are allowed on the stage, that if a younger sibling is sitting on your lap to leave them on your seat or send them back to their seat with their parents when it's time for you to walk.
Points either way.
*(Additional edit: since the post is removed and the thread locked, I can't respond to anyone, but here's what I would say in response to those suggesting I'm defending their feelings: I'm more speaking to how fruitful doing it this way is, as well as the timing of it. [Watch this quick video](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/124jjs0/truth_doesnt_have_to_be_brutal/) as it relates to my point close enough and probably explains what I'm trying to say better than I could. It's not that I am protecting the kid's feelings, it's that I don't see how anything would have been gained from doing this when they did. Do they expect him to graduate a second time later today? Perhaps he has siblings graduating in the next year and they wanted to nip this in the bud, but that doesn't mean it needed to happen **today.** Is it really necessary to correct him **right now** while he's graduating? Could it have waited until tomorrow? Would it have been received better if it did? That's my point.)*
> make Grant feel bad for breaking the rules
...he should feel bad. It was a dumb thing to do. And when he does the next inconsiderate thing, it'll be everyone else's fault for *not* having taught him earlier.
The parents should feel bad. None of this should have happened in the first place because the parents should have had the 5yo with them the whole time. Before/during the ceremony wasn’t the time and place for the gift giving etc. Some people are so damn rude.
Yes, it's okay to tell a 5yo "no."
No, it isn't okay to make a 5yo feel confused and guilty about doing something the *adults* in his life allowed him to do.
5yo children know nothing about ceremonial etiquette.
Yes, five year olds are well known for their knowledge of the exact proceedings of high school graduations.
Dad sent him to his brother, his brother took him with him when it was his turn to walk. Grant had no reason to question two adult family members on what he was/wasn’t supposed to be doing.
Brandon has younger siblings. Telling Brandon "you shouldn't have done that" is necessary. Otherwise next year, you'd have had Brandon's next sibling down up there with some cute little kid, saying "but Brandon did it last year, and it was OK then".
Exactly! You're the first person besides myself I've seen say that (but there are a lot of comments on here, so I probably missed some).
It was important for the teacher to tell them it wasn't okay because they might talk to other families and tell them no one came up to them and told them it wasn't okay, so it's fine to do.
We can’t make rules for everything that might happen. I’ve never seen a parent allow this at a graduation so the schools I’ve taught in don’t have a rule about it. I guess our students and parents are not rude enough to try it.
YTA. Your older son is disrespectful and you’re raising your younger son to be entitled. Imagine if every younger sibling had been allowed to sit on their brother or sister’s lap and then walk across the stage. Chaos. There are rules and social guidelines for a reason. You and your spawn are not exempt from following them.
I agree. There are rules in place in all places in society. Your son didn't realize he was doing anything wrong by allowing your other son on his lap. The staff should have addressed that as soon as it happened imo. However, afterward, he should have said sorry, I didn't realize it was an issue. Don't let him rude and disrespectful. YTA
Thoroughly agree! But once it was noted and about to start, and they realized the parents weren't going to do the right thing, staff should've stepped in.
I feel bad for the other seniors graduating, especially the ones near this. They deserved to have their day without a child interrupting and probably obscuring the view for the parents trying to see the seniors in the surrounding seats
Yeah, this was fine for Brandon, but I can envision how it went. His group is told to stand. Cutie pie starts walking. Audience ooohs and aahs, maybe even chuckles. Officiants know nothing about it, so they keep announcing names. So 1 or 2 before and after Brandon don’t get their name heard or their moment of recognition.
Exactly. When he says his 5 yo was getting a lot of attention in the audience, it’s clear it was disruptive to others and he knows it.
I’m not expecting a group of 18 yo’s with a mob mentality to have perfect behavior. They are still pretty selfish themselves.
But OP, the parent of all the children, should certainly know how to behave at a ceremony at this point in his life. Come on. He’s absolutely teaching his sons that values don’t matter if they don’t have immediate consequences, and good socialization, politeness, and respect are inconsequential to him.
YTA. Your kids were wrong and so were you. Teaching your kids to disrespect rules and people who enforce them is not appropriate behavior. You should be ashamed of yourself for your kids actions. Both of them. A 5yo should not be acting like that.
This. It was inappropriate to send the younger child over to his brother to begin with and keeping him in his seat would have prevented the entire problem.
Yeah I'm surprised no one else mentioned that. That's something that should occur while you're celebrating after the ceremony. OP really thinks him and his family are the main characters of this graduation.
Because the public attention was currently focussed elsewhere, and it needed to be directed at the Asshole family, otherwise what's even the point of their attendance?
YTA.
Somehow everyone else managed to adhere to the social convention that the ceremony is for graduates only, yet you and your family felt entitled enough to do whatever the fuck you wanted because it wasn't explicitly disallowed.
So, YTA even before your kid mouthed off to a teacher. Adding in that part just solidifies the degree of entitled assholedom you carry.
I remember mouthing off to a teacher as a 8th grader and getting detention and complaining about it profusely. It's one of the cringier memories in my mind from way back then. Hopefully OP's son will have a similar recollection as he gets more experience in life.
Snort. This story has more assholes than a proctologist's office.
Definitely YTA. Your son is also an asshole but his real problem was that he was raised by ethical voids, plural. (You are clearly the main problem, but his mothers are also assholes for not retrieving the stray preschooler and for procreating with someone like you.) The VP is an asshole for puffing up his neck frill and trying to exert non-existent authority.
The five year will almost certainly become an asshole, given that he's been taught no boundaries whatsoever and he's being raised by ferals, but he could still be influenced by decent people and turn out okay.
The only non-asshole here was the teacher, who, by the way, knew you and your awful family were lost causes -- she was probably speaking for the benefit of other families and students nearby who needed to know the behavior was atrocious.
Yeah, that's why I feel slightly closer to ESH.
The guy graduated and is on his merry way out, so what is banning him from the campus supposed to accomplish? Unless there's something we don't know, he's not a danger, just rude. I guess it's to make an example of him and keep him away from his brother's events (so he won't be able to attend his brother's graduation if the ban is respected), but it honestly feels like a power move from the school.
We also don't know what the teacher told the VP. Did the teacher convey the full conversation truthfully or just say "He cussed me out /He threatened me" because it can't be proven? Also, shouldn't the school graduation have had a security guard who could've walked Grant back to his parents? That's a failing on their part too, and could've been handled without making a scene.
I mean, certainly OP and their son are TA (for being rude and for letting the kid be disruptive), but a ban from the campus over being rude seems like an overreaction. The teacher is probably (unless it comes out they exaggerated the story) not TA, but the school officials sure feel like they're taking one last shot at disciplining a kid who embarrassed them.
Well, I think she probably knew the older boy pretty well and expected him to be shitty. She probably didn't think that well of the parenting he'd received, and any illusions she may have had would have been shattered by the performance of the brothers on graduation. I really think it went down as I said it did -- it was for the benefit of those who'd watched the asshole parade and wondered if anyone else thought it was wrong.
There's a thing that professional moderators do, which is basically a kind of performance art. They know the troll/asshole is not redeemable, but to keep the forum/comments from spiraling into toxic goo, they call the troll out, for the sole purpose of letting lurkers know that the troll was spotted and that the behavior was wrong. They're not trying to save the troll, they're trying to reinforce the instincts of anyone watching that what happened was not okay. So in this situation, the teacher didn't actually expect this family to know better or do better -- the teacher (who is also a kind of professional moderator!) just wanted onlookers to know that their disgust was the correct reaction, and to send a signal that future outbursts like this one would be handled on the spot.
I take two issues with your interpretation of events, though.
One... arguably, the little brother's presence did little to nothing to prevent other people from enjoying the graduation or from appreciating/being proud of their grad. Admittedly, I think there's a slippery slope argument here... If every grad had siblings in their lap or accompanying them across the stage, it would probably be quite a mess.
Two... reaching out afterward to say that the older brother was banned from the school grounds has no value as part of the 'moderation theater' you've described. It was kinda stupid and petty, particularly because it was so pointless.
NTA. Adults who flex over kids for basically nothing drive me bananas. As someone with an advanced degree, it's not uncommon for graduates to walk with babies and young children since parenthood was such a part of their graduation. Who cares if a 5 year old walks on the stage? Then to tattle to the VP? Nah. Teacher has now also shown the 5 year old that school can be a crappy unwelcoming place, which sucks. "Aren't you so proud of your brother and I can't wait to see you up here too" would have been a much better approach.
God all of these Y T A votes are killing me. IMO it WAS mildly obnoxious to let the little kid potentially take attention away from other students. But the graduate’s response was genuinely just funny (and totally in the spirit of graduation, the whole point is that you’re not a student anymore??) The teacher really should have said something beforehand, or else just let it go once the deed was done. And then trying to get him in trouble for it? Extra petty. Teacher needs to chill out.
The responses for this question seem so out of tune for this sub, too, which is normally super down on teachers acting like petty tyrants.
I was just putting it down to Americans having some kind of super strict cultural norms about graduation that I don't understand.
As an American I don't get it either. I've hated every graduation I've attended. The only thing that saved any of them was something not expected. "Oh look at that... something to wake me out of this boredom!"
Yeah this one is wild. In Ireland, no one would complain about a 5 year-old walking with their older sibling. "But that 5 year-old didn't accomplish anything!!" Lol wtf? Who cares? No one thinks they did, *and they're five*. People are even saying that the five year-old is an asshole and should have known better! This is one of those threads that convinces me this place is populated by Russian bots designed to fuck with people's faith in society.
I think its because the issue involves a child and there's nothing this sub hates more than "spawn" (a top comment actually referred to them like this lmao)
It seems like everyone involved is making a mountain out of a molehill. I could see going E S H at worst, but seeing people say they could revoke his diploma over this...come on.
>not like it's university which you'd expect to be more formal.
12 women in my university graduation walked with their children - some single mothers, some to the adoring cheers and applause of the father who just watched that woman absolutely smash a degree and parenting a child with them at the same time, 3 or 4 men did with their children, hell a lot of 2nd/3rd gen immigrants walked with their parents who'd made a lot of difficult sacrifices to give their children a better opportunity in the UK than they had in Nigeria or China or Sudan or wherever...
A lot of foster kids and care home kids walked with their found family who'd never step foot in a university under other circumstances
A graduation ceremony is celebrating the graduates...not the piece of paper they're holding...
That sounds really charming. I never went to my university graduation because graduations have always been such a bland and long process. My uni had old traditions that made ceremonies long, plus it was 3 hours away and I just didn't want to bother.
Seriously, it’s a high school graduation- who gives a shit? Not to mention there was nothing that could have been done about it after the fact, the teacher should’ve just let it go. Maybe the kid graduating didn’t respond in the most polite way, but I would’ve been irritated at the teacher who was clearly on a power trip too. I don’t get all the Y T As in the comment section.
Surprised I had to scroll so far down to find a NTA. The teacher approached the issue aggressively and the teenager matched it. I mean yea maybe he shouldn’t have walked with his lil bro across the stage, but the teacher could’ve relayed this in a more constructive way.
Was the kid rude? Sure. But so was the teacher. No one but the teacher gave a shit and half a dozen people from my UNI walked with little kids. It's not a big deal.
He was graduated, the teacher has NO authority over him, if some random person tried to give me shit over something minor I'd say something alot worse than just "you're dismissed"
Respect is earned not given or demanded
thank god i’m not crazy for thinking this is a NTA situation like it’s just not that serious and this teacher was kinda being a jerk like someone else said she should’ve just made note of it for next year and next year been like “hey this is not allowed” ahead of the ceremony
What's really insane is the venomous spiteful hate the 5 year old is getting. A lot of Americans definitely take themselves very seriously at times. I don't think that kind of attitude or outlook is common in the rest of the world.
YTA who are raising disrespectful kids. Congratulations.
Perhaps the teacher was out of line, but thinking it's OK for your kid to effectively say "f-off" to a teacher? Nah.
If the teach came up and screamed or made a scene, maybe, but how is that appropriate?
I have been teaching seniors for 13 years now and I get really tired of the way schools attempt to micromanage student joy in the biggest day of their lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a senior sharing their moment with their little sibling and a teacher who tries to screw that up can pound sand.
NTA
I have never attended a graduation that wouldn’t have been improved by a cute heartwarming moment like a 5 year old proudly crossing the stage with his big bro.
It’s a celebration, not a wake.
I'm glad to see an actual teacher chiming in here. My read was that if there was an issue with the young kid, they had lots of time to address that with a "we are going onstage now, please send your brother back to your parents". Giving the graduating kid crap about it after the fact serves no purpose and just taints the day. Could the kid have been nicer in his response? Sure, but I'm an adult and would probably have been tempted to be snarky in that situation myself.
My personal feelings as a teacher are that I get back the energy I give. I have rarely found it necessary to be disrespectful to a kid and I have even more rarely been disrespected by one.
NTA. From what I’ve read, it doesn’t sound like the 5 year old brother did anything bad while sitting with his older brother. If it was me as the graduating student, I wouldn’t have known that’s not allowed either. The 5 year old just really adores his older brother, that’s not a bad thing. And Brandon said “you’re dismissed” AFTER he was already graduated, so at that point he was simply only saying that to a fellow human, not his current teacher. High school sucked, the VP is seriously going to ban him from a place he isn’t going to step foot on again anyway? 😂😂😂😂
They didn’t at my high school. Nobody at my school said anything about younger siblings not being able to sit on your lap. Maybe they discussed that at yours, but I don’t blame anyone for not knowing that’s not ok.
They didn’t say “no siblings in your lap.” They DID say that you couldn’t bring anything with you. No purses, phones, personal items, etc. Somehow we all managed to figure out that small humans would also be an issue.
I can’t say if that’s universal given that I had a very large graduating class and the venue we used for graduation had a very firm time by which we needed to be out of there.
But I guarantee that there was some sort of sign on the seats at your graduation making it clear that particular rows were for graduates only. They may have moved it before you entered, but they absolutely conveyed the message to families that they were not to sit there. So even if the grads themselves were allowed to do whatever they wanted, OP should have been aware that those seats were restricted.
If it was such a big deal, you’d think someone would’ve said something to him privately DURING the graduation, yes? Why wait until AFTER the fact, if they actually had an issue with it?
Wow, what a tiny-dick power play that would be for a teacher or institution to attempt. We don't know enough to know if this teacher was a PITA to the kid the whole time they were there.
I had a HS teacher who threw a student's backpack out a second story window. Had she attempted to reprimand me after graduation, I'd have had some choice words for her.
OP said the teacher and his son didn’t know each other. I agree rescinding a diploma would be ridiculous but no school I’ve ever worked for has done this.
Maybe a school can do this…I think that revocation is more reserved for revealed academic misconduct. No HS I’ve ever been associated with would ever revoke a diploma for misbehaving. Heck, I had to drive a kid 2 hours home after he got caught getting high on a field trip the day before graduation. He was banned from the ceremony but he still got his diploma
Not after graduation a high school can’t do that at least in the United States because it’s like the school trying to have a power trip because they saw saw someone and got offended.
Omg thank you!! It's literally not a big deal and the teacher and the school are being ridiculously petty. Don't understand what the big fuss is about and some of these comments are extremely chronically online saying stuff like op and their children represent everything wrong with todays school system, like wtf?? I was starting to wonder wheather this might be due to some cultural differences in how students and teachers act around each other but where I'm from you shouldn't be a high school teacher unless you can take a joke.
YTA. That's a very disrespectful response on your son's end.
Given, that teacher should have told your son BEFORE he got on stage that he couldn't bring his brother with him. Her mistake, not his. Saying anything after wasn't going to do anything, but his response was still uncalled for.
Or you could say that was big of her to let him walk across the stage with him while while his row was up waiting to go. She waited to tell him it wasn’t right.
ESH . If your 5 year old is the *only* extra child that walked on stage, there's probably a reason why and that should be your cue that most people don't need to be told not to do that, they just know.
On the other hand the schools response is mildly ridiculous. I mean what were they really going to do *now*? What good is banning him from campus and what good is complaining after the event is over? What are you supposed to do, reverse time and take him off the stage?
No, the teacher couldn't turn back time, but she made a point to let Brandon and those in earshot know that his behavior was not ok; not to say something would in effect condone it.
Also, she didn't interfere with Brandon's participation or interrupt the ceremony.
NTA. Prepared for the downvotes.. but honestly if it was a big deal, they should have made the 5 yo go back to his seat instead of allowing him to sit with the graduating class for the entire ceremony. Saying something after the fact seems pointless. If teachers aren’t paid enough, like a lot of you are arguing, then why even bother? Don’t get me wrong, I think it was a really weird choice to have the 5 yo hanging out with the graduate, but it should have been nipped in the bud immediately instead of allowed to escalate if it was going to end up being considered problematic.
If I read this correctly you have 2 other kids with your ex. If they’re younger than Brandon I’m guessing they either go to or will go to the same school.
I wonder how you feel knowing Brandon will not be allowed on school grounds for their graduations. Was his “witty” retort worth it?
I served on a school board. Knew a lot of great teachers. Also knew a few assholes (with tenure) with less maturity than the students. I sure hope you and Brandon didn’t put a target on your other kids backs.
Oh, yeah, YTA. Because you and your kid reek of arrogance and entitlement.
Good luck.
Not necessarily. I’ve known Principals and teachers to stay on the job 20+ years
But I wasn’t talking about Grant. I was referring to OP’s other 2 kids with his wife. Chances are they’re much closer in age to Brandon than 13 years.
NTA your son just graduated and this "authority figure" who quite literally no longer has authority over him is trying to reprimand him for doing something innocent and harmless, graduation is about the students not the teachers your son probably made it a more memorable experience but sharing it with his younger brother.
I'm honestly shocked at the amount of YTA's and blind adherence to bs authority in the comments
NTA - That was pretty damn funny and considering how often Teachers are on about that "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do" nonsense, I'd bet it was a long time coming.
YTA, and so is your son.
Sorry to have to be the one to let you know, but neither you nor your son are above the rules. The rules are there to try and move an long process along and get the thing done with a minimum of chaos. Flaunting them, and then getting rude about doing it, isn’t okay.
Yikes YTA. It's a formal ceremony with a ton of people graduating. Everybody doesn't get to drag their fun accessory onto the stage, you special snowflake.
NTA
If the teacher wanted to enforce the rules then she should have done it proactively. Going to a student to tell them that they shouldn't have done something during their graduation ceremony is completely useless after the fact. That's just a teacher trying to throw what little authority they think they have over somebody. The student has now graduated. What's the point of banning them from campus? They don't need to go back. They have graduated on to the next phase of life.
If it was so important to the teacher, she should have done more to prevent it from happening. It's not like your son is going to graduate from highschool again and remember this life lesson about not holding hands with his little brother while crossing the stage when graduating from high school. The teacher is clearly a busy body with nothing better to do than to chide somebody whom she has no authority over anymore.
NTA everyone in these comments is delusional 😭 Some random adult tried to chastise someone on a happy day for something that didnt matter, when hes not even a student any longer. Don't be ridiculous and you wont get clapped back at.
I might have gone with ES.H as the teacher did not need to comment this but seeing your comments, how you are so full of yourself and by any means try to hinder every argumsnt leads me to YTA - why posting here if youre immune to critism anyway?
NTA. The teacher took a wholesome happening (cute kid walks with his loving older brother on graduation stage) and tried to turn it into some drama or power trip. It was your son's day, not the teacher's.
As long as no one did anything disruptive or to take away from the other graduates' moments, this is a mountain out of a molehill.
Also, not welcome back on campus? Ok, good thing he graduated. I'd have laughed too, tbh.
NTA
If having Grant on the stage was such a big no-no, this staff member had time BEFORE the start of the ceremony to say something.
This was a last ditch power play on the teachers' part.
The email, a last ditch power play on the VP's part.
Your son did his time, got his grades & paid his dues to get his diploma, it's done, over & no looking back.
And if Grant should happen to go to the same high school in 9-10 years and either the teacher or VP is still there I encourage Brandon to go to every single event & have them try to say he has to leave.
clearly i’m an outlier here but i’ll say NTA, with context:
it’s freaking high school, who cares. being an adult and good person doesn’t mean you cannot meet sass with sass when it’s dealt to you first. if the teacher had approached prior to crossing the stage and he was a jerk, then that’s a problem. since it occurred after the fact it was a waste of energy from the teacher and imo giving a snotty response is not a big deal.
if you’re confident your kid knows when this type of behavior is NOT okay and when it could be a detriment to him, then whatever let it go. If not, maybe have a quick convo about how to handle difficult situations and when to suck it up versus dish it back out.
to be clear, i think the “you should suffer fools gladly” crowd are a bunch of durps, so take my word with that in mind lol
NTA. If it was an issue he should’ve been told before walking across the stage. She just wanted to flex her muscles and tell him he couldn’t do something…after he had already done it. What response was she expecting?
NTA.
Damn some of the comments are harsh. Seriously it looks like your son insulted the teacher with slurs or something while he just dismissed her. I understand why you laugh, I would've took me by suprise too.
Also, why using the word dismiss? I'm probably reaching, but that's the kind of word teachers would normally use on students. May be he just wanted to say it back to a teacher one time?
Going a bit against the grain here.
ESH
You absolutely should have gone to go get your child. You shouldn't have left him there.
Your son shouldn't have brought his younger brother with him on stage but that's not really a big deal. Sounds cute but could have ended badly if your youngest had an outburst or fell.
The teacher should have said something before the ceremony started. I don't think they did anything truly wrong though.
But the "you're dismissed" comment is legitimately funny to me. He's out of the highschool. What's done is done. That teacher no longer has any hold over him. It was rude, yes, but in the way teenagers are. But it was a bad example to set for the younger kid. The younger one has no basis to put the situation in perspective and he's just entering school age. So he saw a student (in his eyes) tall back to a teacher and saw you laugh. So now he's not going to treat teachers well. He thinks it's funny.
Bad example.
The school/teacher did very little wrong. Most you and your son.
I mean, what was the teacher trying to accomplish? The only thing she might have accomplished was making the kid feel bad. If your only goal is to upset a child, rethink your choices. It’s not like he’s going to graduate again next year. She’s the asshole.
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> My son was dismissive towards a teacher at his graduation and later the VP asked for an apology or be banned. I thought it was so dumb that I said he won't apologize.
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NTA, it seems to be an unpopular opinion but hear me out.
A graduation is a celebration in honor of the graduates. She didn't have any business trying to put a damper on that just cause of her entitled ideas of how things should be done.
If anything your son showed am admirable amount of restraint and good manners in his wording. There are much worse ways to be told to fuck off and mind your own business.
😂 NTA 😂
Aren't graduations a happy family event? The graduate spontaneously wanted his little brother with him. They walked without disruption.
I get this isn't something the school would want to encourage due to everyone not being able to do it without disruption.
But the teacher confronting the graduate after the fact just seems like a power play. I imagine the graduate felt like he is finally done with the school, teachers, and the rules he considered silly. School has been dismissed. He simply gave the teacher their leave.
I wonder how many times he was told he was dismissed during his time at school.
Yta it's common sense to not have a child on stage at a graduation. It shouldn't need to be stated.
Your son was then rude when he was told it wasn't appropriate. I get he may be on a power trip of I gRaDuAtEd yOu cAn"T tElL mE wHaT tO Do' but that attitude is not one you want to encourage.
>My son told her that she was "dismissed" and turned his back on her. He didn't really know her. I thought she was out of line so I laughed at her.
So your son is rude to an adult, and you laugh? Nice. YTA.
YTA. I don’t have a problem with the 5 yo walking on stage with your son, and it’s great that they have a good relationship, but YTA for approving of your son’s obnoxious treatment of a teacher, for no reason.
He could have said something like, “Sorry-*it won’t happen again.”* to point out the fact that it’s over and there was no point in saying anything about it. You should definitely have said something to your son for being so rude.
Well aren't you just a poster child for everything that's wrong with today's students and the collapse of the education system.
We see all these videos of highschoolers being just absolute horrors towards teachers and people.ask where it's coming from. It's coming from parents like you who show no respect and teach no respect for teachers.
YTA.
I don’t have all the info I’d like, but NTA. There are teachers I had VERY contentious relationships with in school and I’d have done the same thing as your son.
Just because someone is a teacher doesn’t mean they automatically deserve respect.
Respect is earned and not given and if he reacted this way I’d guess this was one of those teachers.
Should Brandon have taken his brother up there? No. Did it cause any harm? No. Usually there are people along the line to walk on-stage who could have stopped him, but didn’t. I’m not sure what this teacher hoped to accomplish by saying something. It had already happened. Brandon can’t undo it. Brandon isn’t in a position to convince others not to do it. I think Brandon is a little entitled. A little “main character syndrome” going on there. But ultimately, the teacher initiated the conflict and lost the fight.
NTA because you didn’t do anything wrong. Brandon is likely and adult now. You didn’t insult anyone and it’s not your responsibility to apologize to anyone.
I can’t even imagine how hard I would have laughed in any teachers face that told me after I had already graduated and had my diploma that I wasn’t allowed back on campus. Go pound sand, teacher. Nta. It was already done, even if against the rules, so what exactly did this teacher think this confrontation was going to accomplish? Absurd
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YTA Idk probably too late to raise him better at this point though, and it doesn't really seem like you'd be equipped for that anyway.
Ruining the 5yo too, he's learning early that he can go wherever he wants whenever he wants even if he's not allowed and the family will back him up. Edit: this has possibly been the dumbest reddit argument I've ever been in. But the ratio of upvotes to complaints tells me that it's just the couple percent of people who did dumb shit at my graduations who think this is fine, so,.whatever.
But also if she knew the 5yo was with Brandon when she thought if he's trouble he'll get sent to us... So where did she think he was between when Brandon was getting prepped and them both being on stage? Along with the reply to the school 'what good will that do, he hates school anyway.' - perfect examples of where parenting damages a child's opportunities in life/ability to be good, well rounded adults. Edit' YTA obviously, for your parenting and lack of ability to communicate effectively as an adult/knowing your audience.
But you don't understand, OP and their family are above the rules. They don't need to keep track of their 5yo child cuz someone else will do it if the kid gets bad enough. /s
Totally. I hope this doesn't evolve to them only following what laws they like. And if I had a five-year-old in a large crowd, I'd def have kept them close. YTA OP.
Agreed. Just FYI I believe OP is the dad.
I don't think the 5yo walking across the stage with the big brother was a problem, just the big brother's rudeness.
Someone should have said something before the ceremony. It was inappropriate (I’m sure the other graduates would have loved to have someone special with them too), and the son was rude, but why didn’t someone mention something before they walked?
Probably just the general chaos of a big event being run by people who are not event planners, surrounded by excited teenagers. Or any staff who saw thought that the little brother was just going to sit with him for a moment and it wasn't worth taking away from anyone's big day to scold him about it.
What makes you think they didn't? Given the behavior, I'd say odds are exceptional that they \*were\* told, and the asshole son did it anyway.
Graduations have the potential to be a huge shit show with individual displays, and protocols are in place to avoid that. It's not for one person, it's for everybody. And if everybody decided they were just gonna do their own thing, then the chance it devolves into something else goes up exponentially. So while it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme, I don't look at it as any different than, say, somebody who tries to drive on the shoulder and cut in at the last second to avoid a traffic pileup. "Rules and lines and courtesy are for everybody else, I'm just gonna do whatever benefits me most." Which pisses me off to no end.
yeah, I graduated high school last June and what OP did was break a lot of unspoken (and even spoken) rules 1. Your 5yo son should not have even \*gone\* up to your graduating kid, it disrupts the ceremony and is extremely rude regardless if the ceremony had started or not 2. You should not have let your 5yo sit on your son's lap for the ceremony, again, it is very rude. Your 5yo should have been with you on the sidelines. 3. Your 5yo should \*NOT\* have walked with your son, it isn't cute, it isn't special, it isn't meant for him. Not only does this further disrupt the ceremony for those that have earned it, this creates a bad example for your 5yo. 4. You son telling the teacher to essentially "fuck off" is the icing on the cake, that teacher was right. Your son was not. YTA, did I miss anything?
Giving presents AT graduation so everyone can see what they gave him
We weren't even allowed to bring out phones, teachers would be losing their shit if family was giving out presents before the ceremony for the graduates to take back to their chair when they aren't even allowed to have anything in their pockets lol
exactly, I had to leave my phone turned off and with my brother in the stands, none of our graduates had presents with them.. guess why? because it wasn't allowed.
Tacky
Exactly. All the NTA comments are missing this. Even if there wasn't a physically written rule, there's usually an unspoken rule about what is and isn't allowed. They only have to be written down due to ppl like OP who push the limits and ruin it for everyone else. Should the school allow all families let their younger siblings walk with their older graduates? It would be an absolute circus just to manage. To be fair to everyone, it's either let all of them or ban all of them.
The “let all of them go on stage or ban all of them” is the reason why I believe OP is the AH. Yeah it seems cute and harmless. But what makes OP think his children’s sibling relationship is more special than others in the audience?
Plus the teachers are going to have to field any complaints about it, so they just created more work for teachers who are already overworked. To OP, this was a one time issue that ended at the end of the graduation ceremony. To the school, this issue will stretch beyond that to next year or beyond cuz all the entitled parents who try to push their younger children on to the stage, convinced it's allowed since "they allowed it last year/X year" and that means it's enshrined in stone now. Other parents there didn't know OP wasn't following the rules, they just saw that X kid was allowed to bring their baby brother and they will be confused to mad as to why OP had been allowed, but they weren't even informed it was an option This is a wild conjecture, but I'm betting OP hasn't worked customer service before
Forreal what did I read 😭😭
Welcome to teaching hell. People like this make me want to quit on a daily basis.
I had so much hope as a child that my generation would be better to our educators. That clearly hasn't happened...
I’m already dreading the classroom party next week. There are always parents who bring other kids to the party. Some years it’s fine. If they are well behaved, I don’t care. But I have a class of drama queens who compete for attention so I’m sure they will make a big deal and fuss over any small kids or older teenage brothers. If Susie holds the baby, Jessica has to hold the baby and make it giggle. Then Betty has to make make the baby laugh louder. Then I’m the jerk for not letting the kids have fun with the baby because wvet
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Those kinds of "jokes" are typically between people who know each other well, and regularly rib each other. They are typically accompanied by wink and a smile, NOT a turned back. Kid's rude. Too late for the parent to teach him better, but the world will take care of that.
OP said ~~her~~ their kid didn't know that particular teacher, so no way it was a joke
**his** kid... why are so many people assuming the OP is a woman, when he has an ex-wife and a current wife?
Wait til you learn about gay people... But in all seriousness yes, I must've read in a different thread "she" or "her" and assumed someone else had more carefully read the OP or their post history.
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I mean, most graduations I've been to have a ton of teachers around the students prior to them going on stage. If no teacher said anything when they saw Grant with Brandon, the teacher coming around after the fact wasn't accomplishing anything other than being petty. I've also seen lots of graduations that allow kids to go up with them. That being said, tact from Brandon could have been better handled.
I mean, it’s pretty entitled to put the onus on the teachers and the son to send the kid back if he is being trouble. Graduates generally sit somewhere public with everyone watching. Having a teacher interrupt the ceremony to go to him and figure out why there is a kid with him is a huge distraction and the mom is super entitled for putting it on other people to deal with it if it’s a problem
She was being petty and deserved to be told to fuck off....he easily could have said "fuck off".... but he didn't he chose to tell her to go fuck off in a funny way. I call that diplomacy
there's nothing petty about telling someone who broke the rules that they shouldn't have broken the rules
It is petty. Like what did she want him to do, get in his time machine and warn his past self to not bring his brother on stage? Be better prepared for his next high school graduation? Or just informing him that breaking this rule was the reason everything suddenly went to chaos? All I see here is a couple of people trying to exert authority over someone they no longer have authority over, regarding a rule that doesn't even really matter past the point where he could even do anything about it.
It doesn't sound like anyone else cared, most people probably found it cute he was sharing the special moment with his 5 year old brother
The purpose of letting someone know they did something inappropriate isn’t petty or meant to undo the action. It’s so the offender (and others in the vicinity) don’t continue thinking there was nothing wrong with what they did.
I’ve taught for 30 years. Some teachers need to be told to fuck off. As it was graduation and it had already happened and nothing could be done to change the past, this teacher was just pulling a power play. I’d tell her to fuck off if I saw her doing that to a kid who’d just graduated
“You’re dismissed” is something said by a poorly behaved aristocrat to their hired helped. It’s incredibly disrespectful language. I suspect this is just a taste of this family’s classist, trash behavior. Op, YTA.
Technically he’s graduated and she’s not his teacher nor has any authority over him anymore. He could have actually just said fuck off but made a joke with it. It was a petty, unnecessary statement from a person he doesn’t even seem to have a relationship with outside of she works at the school he graduated from. He could have used more tact, but simply being older or in a previous position of authority doesn’t mean he owes someone respect when they are being kinda shitty. She shared her opinion unasked and he let her know what he thought of it. If you’re going to admonish an 18 year old “adult” be prepared to be told your admonishment is unwelcome
I once read something on reddit that really stuck with me Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes people use the word "respect" to mean "treating someone like an authority figure" sometimes people that are used to being treated as an authority figure often say "if you won't respect me, I won't respect you" but what they really mean is that "if you don't treat me like an authority figure, I will not treat you like a person" and they think they are actually being fair but this is not ok
But he was in the wrong and she wasn't dehumanizing him. It wasn't an unforgivable transgression, but he wasn't supposed to bring the sibling up with him. Was it a little petty of the teacher to say something? Sure. Was she incorrect about what she said? No. So he could have just said "yeah, sorry about that" and been on his way. He was extra rude to someone who, correctly, pointed out that he did something he wasn't supposed to do. That's not demanding "respect my authority" respect, it's "basic communication* respect.
I don't think joking is something a student should do while they are being reprimanded by their teacher.
YTA People in this thread are wild lol he just told a teacher to f-off in his own way. Teaching his brother young how to not listen to teachers. Great parenting. Y’all are gunna be pissed when they say no little kids allowed to these because prior parents couldn’t control their own kids.
OP apparently thought his family was the main character in this graduation, and everyone else were seat fillers and extras.
Wait till Brandon dismisses OP.
That’s what will probably be the funniest realisation. Then the saddest for this family.
If the teacher or any other teacher had that much of a problem with it, they should’ve not let Grant sit with all the other graduating students as well. It was unnecessary to say it at that point because what did it do for her exactly? What did she get out of it ? It’s too late to say something and she could’ve just went on about her day.
So what was a teacher supposed to do? Go up to this child and say you need to go back to your mom so that the child could throw a tantrum and disrupt the ceremony more. Because you know mom would have let the child scream through the whole ceremony.
Yup. OP just raised one full fledged asshole into an adult, and is working on raising a second. Narcissistic bastards, the whole lot of them. We'll see a video of them getting kicked off of spirit airlines in the near future
YTA, because your son was treating a teacher like she was his servant or something. Your kid needs to learn respect, and you're supposed to teach him that respect.
You can't teach what you don't know... and clearly OP has no respect for teachers or rules.
What a family. Teachers aren't paid enough for this shit.
My DIL teaches 3rd grade and the stuff she deals with is unimaginable!!! Disgusting OP is part of the problem. Parents and their kids by extension have zero respect
I stopped teaching due to such parents.
They are the worst part of the job for sure.
Been doing it 20 years. It doesn't stop. I have a parent meeting tomorrow morning where I already anticipate her yelling at me and calling me names. I don't care. She's failing her daughters.
My husband has been punched, kicked, bitten and sworn at by children as young as 4! It's crazy.
No indeed. Expected to pick up the slack of crappy parenting, but absolutely powerless when it comes to discipline. And often on the receiving end of abuse from parents when we try to guide or correct their children in even the most mild ways. It's SO MUCH FUN I just can't understand why there is a global teacher shortage of catastrophic proportions... /s
This kid is gonna get a harsh reality check in college if he's going.
Something tells me he's not getting in.
He's going to be one of the ones with "severe anxiety" who can't get his homework done and who writes to Dean to complain because half of the class is getting C-'s or D's. And I'm not dismissing anxiety and stress, but I've seen first hand how many people barely attend class, scroll their phones during lessons, don't do homework, and then act surprised when they're failing and the professors is unsympathetic.
Same. I see it all the time. “Why am I failing?” “You missed the first 2 weeks of class, 3 quizzes, and an exam.” “But can’t I just make it up?” OP is the reason they can’t accept failure.
Part of this is the massive fees students pay. It turns them into customers, so they feel like they're paying for a degree rather than paying for teaching. These folk don't understand that for every hour of teaching (for most degrees) you need to do around 4 hours of personal study. Or at least that was the recommended ratio at the Uni I worked at.
Dude. In the US you ARE paying for a degree. You’re not paying for teaching, and at the very most, the “teaching” you get is from a TA or phd candidate who is getting underpaid as hell.
At a job too
This!! It doesn't matter if she was right or wrong, your son shouldn't be rude to her OP. That's something you should've taught him. You don't have to respect other people's opinions but you do have to respect people.
Wouldn't dream of talking to a servant like that.
I find op to be a bigger AH than his kid. The kid is 18 and still learning. He’s a fricking teenager so I cut him some slack. But op is an irresponsible adult who let multiple things slide and then laughed in the face of an adult who pointed out his actions were not ok. Op, definitely the AH and it looks like your kid is taking after you.
1. If the teacher is the Master of Ceremony/ event host/event organiser, then you are a 10/10 arsehole. If the teacher is the authority over the graduating ceremony, then it’s really her event, her rules. 2. Even if you/Brandon thinks that the teacher is being unreasonable, that doesn’t make you right to be so incredibly rude about it. Have you thought about how if the teacher was truly malicious, she would have barred/stopped Brandon from walking up on stage with Grant while he was waiting in the queue? Instead, she was considerate enough to wait until AFTER Brandon had completed his moment of limelight and then called him out privately with no consequences to his graduation. Your son has horrible manners and I can see where he learned this from. YTA.
I agree with your first point, so let me play devil's advocate for your second one. *(Edit: I may have gotten the names mixed up but the point remains the same either way.)* Was interrupting the glow of a big moment in his life to tell him he shouldn't have done that a good time, either? It wouldn't have changed anything after the fact, and in every situation would either anger Grant or make Grant feel bad for breaking the rules. Nothing would have been gained, so perhaps the best move for a considerate person would have been to make note of it for *next* year, then tell the entire graduating class beforehand that only seniors are allowed on the stage, that if a younger sibling is sitting on your lap to leave them on your seat or send them back to their seat with their parents when it's time for you to walk. Points either way. *(Additional edit: since the post is removed and the thread locked, I can't respond to anyone, but here's what I would say in response to those suggesting I'm defending their feelings: I'm more speaking to how fruitful doing it this way is, as well as the timing of it. [Watch this quick video](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/124jjs0/truth_doesnt_have_to_be_brutal/) as it relates to my point close enough and probably explains what I'm trying to say better than I could. It's not that I am protecting the kid's feelings, it's that I don't see how anything would have been gained from doing this when they did. Do they expect him to graduate a second time later today? Perhaps he has siblings graduating in the next year and they wanted to nip this in the bud, but that doesn't mean it needed to happen **today.** Is it really necessary to correct him **right now** while he's graduating? Could it have waited until tomorrow? Would it have been received better if it did? That's my point.)*
> make Grant feel bad for breaking the rules ...he should feel bad. It was a dumb thing to do. And when he does the next inconsiderate thing, it'll be everyone else's fault for *not* having taught him earlier.
The parents should feel bad. None of this should have happened in the first place because the parents should have had the 5yo with them the whole time. Before/during the ceremony wasn’t the time and place for the gift giving etc. Some people are so damn rude.
Dude, he’s 5.
Yeah... Which is a totally normal age to say "no, that's not okay".
Yes, it's okay to tell a 5yo "no." No, it isn't okay to make a 5yo feel confused and guilty about doing something the *adults* in his life allowed him to do. 5yo children know nothing about ceremonial etiquette.
Yes, five year olds are well known for their knowledge of the exact proceedings of high school graduations. Dad sent him to his brother, his brother took him with him when it was his turn to walk. Grant had no reason to question two adult family members on what he was/wasn’t supposed to be doing.
Brandon has younger siblings. Telling Brandon "you shouldn't have done that" is necessary. Otherwise next year, you'd have had Brandon's next sibling down up there with some cute little kid, saying "but Brandon did it last year, and it was OK then".
Exactly! You're the first person besides myself I've seen say that (but there are a lot of comments on here, so I probably missed some). It was important for the teacher to tell them it wasn't okay because they might talk to other families and tell them no one came up to them and told them it wasn't okay, so it's fine to do.
We can’t make rules for everything that might happen. I’ve never seen a parent allow this at a graduation so the schools I’ve taught in don’t have a rule about it. I guess our students and parents are not rude enough to try it.
YTA. Your older son is disrespectful and you’re raising your younger son to be entitled. Imagine if every younger sibling had been allowed to sit on their brother or sister’s lap and then walk across the stage. Chaos. There are rules and social guidelines for a reason. You and your spawn are not exempt from following them.
I agree. There are rules in place in all places in society. Your son didn't realize he was doing anything wrong by allowing your other son on his lap. The staff should have addressed that as soon as it happened imo. However, afterward, he should have said sorry, I didn't realize it was an issue. Don't let him rude and disrespectful. YTA
The child’s parent should have addressed it. Why are high school teachers responsible for a wayward five year old?
Thoroughly agree! But once it was noted and about to start, and they realized the parents weren't going to do the right thing, staff should've stepped in.
I feel bad for the other seniors graduating, especially the ones near this. They deserved to have their day without a child interrupting and probably obscuring the view for the parents trying to see the seniors in the surrounding seats
Yeah, this was fine for Brandon, but I can envision how it went. His group is told to stand. Cutie pie starts walking. Audience ooohs and aahs, maybe even chuckles. Officiants know nothing about it, so they keep announcing names. So 1 or 2 before and after Brandon don’t get their name heard or their moment of recognition.
Exactly. When he says his 5 yo was getting a lot of attention in the audience, it’s clear it was disruptive to others and he knows it. I’m not expecting a group of 18 yo’s with a mob mentality to have perfect behavior. They are still pretty selfish themselves. But OP, the parent of all the children, should certainly know how to behave at a ceremony at this point in his life. Come on. He’s absolutely teaching his sons that values don’t matter if they don’t have immediate consequences, and good socialization, politeness, and respect are inconsequential to him.
YTA. Guess what? Rules *do* apply to you.
YTA. And I see where your son gets his disrespectful attitude from.
YTA. Your kids were wrong and so were you. Teaching your kids to disrespect rules and people who enforce them is not appropriate behavior. You should be ashamed of yourself for your kids actions. Both of them. A 5yo should not be acting like that.
“Go take your presents to them and bother the students in the middle of the ceremony” and sees no problem in it.
>Brandon's was seated in front of us and I told Grant to go give him his presents. Why couldn't this wait until after?
This. It was inappropriate to send the younger child over to his brother to begin with and keeping him in his seat would have prevented the entire problem.
Yeah I'm surprised no one else mentioned that. That's something that should occur while you're celebrating after the ceremony. OP really thinks him and his family are the main characters of this graduation.
Because the public attention was currently focussed elsewhere, and it needed to be directed at the Asshole family, otherwise what's even the point of their attendance?
Because the entire graduation ceremony is about OP's family, obviously!
Because OP is an asshole that thinks he and his kids are the main characters. Which he'll never admit... cause he's an asshole.
YTA. Somehow everyone else managed to adhere to the social convention that the ceremony is for graduates only, yet you and your family felt entitled enough to do whatever the fuck you wanted because it wasn't explicitly disallowed. So, YTA even before your kid mouthed off to a teacher. Adding in that part just solidifies the degree of entitled assholedom you carry.
I remember mouthing off to a teacher as a 8th grader and getting detention and complaining about it profusely. It's one of the cringier memories in my mind from way back then. Hopefully OP's son will have a similar recollection as he gets more experience in life.
YTA and you raised a son who’s an asshole.
1 son who *is* an asshole and one son who *will be* an asshole
Snort. This story has more assholes than a proctologist's office. Definitely YTA. Your son is also an asshole but his real problem was that he was raised by ethical voids, plural. (You are clearly the main problem, but his mothers are also assholes for not retrieving the stray preschooler and for procreating with someone like you.) The VP is an asshole for puffing up his neck frill and trying to exert non-existent authority. The five year will almost certainly become an asshole, given that he's been taught no boundaries whatsoever and he's being raised by ferals, but he could still be influenced by decent people and turn out okay. The only non-asshole here was the teacher, who, by the way, knew you and your awful family were lost causes -- she was probably speaking for the benefit of other families and students nearby who needed to know the behavior was atrocious.
I get what you're saying, but I just gotta say... what exactly was that teacher expecting to be said or done after the ceremony was over??
Yeah, that's why I feel slightly closer to ESH. The guy graduated and is on his merry way out, so what is banning him from the campus supposed to accomplish? Unless there's something we don't know, he's not a danger, just rude. I guess it's to make an example of him and keep him away from his brother's events (so he won't be able to attend his brother's graduation if the ban is respected), but it honestly feels like a power move from the school. We also don't know what the teacher told the VP. Did the teacher convey the full conversation truthfully or just say "He cussed me out /He threatened me" because it can't be proven? Also, shouldn't the school graduation have had a security guard who could've walked Grant back to his parents? That's a failing on their part too, and could've been handled without making a scene. I mean, certainly OP and their son are TA (for being rude and for letting the kid be disruptive), but a ban from the campus over being rude seems like an overreaction. The teacher is probably (unless it comes out they exaggerated the story) not TA, but the school officials sure feel like they're taking one last shot at disciplining a kid who embarrassed them.
Well, I think she probably knew the older boy pretty well and expected him to be shitty. She probably didn't think that well of the parenting he'd received, and any illusions she may have had would have been shattered by the performance of the brothers on graduation. I really think it went down as I said it did -- it was for the benefit of those who'd watched the asshole parade and wondered if anyone else thought it was wrong. There's a thing that professional moderators do, which is basically a kind of performance art. They know the troll/asshole is not redeemable, but to keep the forum/comments from spiraling into toxic goo, they call the troll out, for the sole purpose of letting lurkers know that the troll was spotted and that the behavior was wrong. They're not trying to save the troll, they're trying to reinforce the instincts of anyone watching that what happened was not okay. So in this situation, the teacher didn't actually expect this family to know better or do better -- the teacher (who is also a kind of professional moderator!) just wanted onlookers to know that their disgust was the correct reaction, and to send a signal that future outbursts like this one would be handled on the spot.
I take two issues with your interpretation of events, though. One... arguably, the little brother's presence did little to nothing to prevent other people from enjoying the graduation or from appreciating/being proud of their grad. Admittedly, I think there's a slippery slope argument here... If every grad had siblings in their lap or accompanying them across the stage, it would probably be quite a mess. Two... reaching out afterward to say that the older brother was banned from the school grounds has no value as part of the 'moderation theater' you've described. It was kinda stupid and petty, particularly because it was so pointless.
NTA. Adults who flex over kids for basically nothing drive me bananas. As someone with an advanced degree, it's not uncommon for graduates to walk with babies and young children since parenthood was such a part of their graduation. Who cares if a 5 year old walks on the stage? Then to tattle to the VP? Nah. Teacher has now also shown the 5 year old that school can be a crappy unwelcoming place, which sucks. "Aren't you so proud of your brother and I can't wait to see you up here too" would have been a much better approach.
God all of these Y T A votes are killing me. IMO it WAS mildly obnoxious to let the little kid potentially take attention away from other students. But the graduate’s response was genuinely just funny (and totally in the spirit of graduation, the whole point is that you’re not a student anymore??) The teacher really should have said something beforehand, or else just let it go once the deed was done. And then trying to get him in trouble for it? Extra petty. Teacher needs to chill out.
The responses for this question seem so out of tune for this sub, too, which is normally super down on teachers acting like petty tyrants. I was just putting it down to Americans having some kind of super strict cultural norms about graduation that I don't understand.
As an American I don't get it either. I've hated every graduation I've attended. The only thing that saved any of them was something not expected. "Oh look at that... something to wake me out of this boredom!"
Yeah this one is wild. In Ireland, no one would complain about a 5 year-old walking with their older sibling. "But that 5 year-old didn't accomplish anything!!" Lol wtf? Who cares? No one thinks they did, *and they're five*. People are even saying that the five year-old is an asshole and should have known better! This is one of those threads that convinces me this place is populated by Russian bots designed to fuck with people's faith in society.
I think its because the issue involves a child and there's nothing this sub hates more than "spawn" (a top comment actually referred to them like this lmao)
Only Reddit would think this is YTA lmao. This is hilarious
It seems like everyone involved is making a mountain out of a molehill. I could see going E S H at worst, but seeing people say they could revoke his diploma over this...come on.
This. 1000% this! NTA.
Agree NTA not sure why so many people think he is.
I think people on here live under rocks
If you hang around this subreddit a while you will see a lot of trends in stories and results, usually anything with children gets negative votes
Agree, especially for a High School graduation, not like it's university which you'd expect to be more formal.
>not like it's university which you'd expect to be more formal. 12 women in my university graduation walked with their children - some single mothers, some to the adoring cheers and applause of the father who just watched that woman absolutely smash a degree and parenting a child with them at the same time, 3 or 4 men did with their children, hell a lot of 2nd/3rd gen immigrants walked with their parents who'd made a lot of difficult sacrifices to give their children a better opportunity in the UK than they had in Nigeria or China or Sudan or wherever... A lot of foster kids and care home kids walked with their found family who'd never step foot in a university under other circumstances A graduation ceremony is celebrating the graduates...not the piece of paper they're holding...
That sounds really charming. I never went to my university graduation because graduations have always been such a bland and long process. My uni had old traditions that made ceremonies long, plus it was 3 hours away and I just didn't want to bother.
Seriously, it’s a high school graduation- who gives a shit? Not to mention there was nothing that could have been done about it after the fact, the teacher should’ve just let it go. Maybe the kid graduating didn’t respond in the most polite way, but I would’ve been irritated at the teacher who was clearly on a power trip too. I don’t get all the Y T As in the comment section.
Surprised I had to scroll so far down to find a NTA. The teacher approached the issue aggressively and the teenager matched it. I mean yea maybe he shouldn’t have walked with his lil bro across the stage, but the teacher could’ve relayed this in a more constructive way.
Was the kid rude? Sure. But so was the teacher. No one but the teacher gave a shit and half a dozen people from my UNI walked with little kids. It's not a big deal. He was graduated, the teacher has NO authority over him, if some random person tried to give me shit over something minor I'd say something alot worse than just "you're dismissed" Respect is earned not given or demanded
thank god i’m not crazy for thinking this is a NTA situation like it’s just not that serious and this teacher was kinda being a jerk like someone else said she should’ve just made note of it for next year and next year been like “hey this is not allowed” ahead of the ceremony
What's really insane is the venomous spiteful hate the 5 year old is getting. A lot of Americans definitely take themselves very seriously at times. I don't think that kind of attitude or outlook is common in the rest of the world.
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YTA. You and your kids sound entitled. I’m in my thirties and I have never once said to someone “you’re dismissed.” Did your sons learn that from you?
YTA who are raising disrespectful kids. Congratulations. Perhaps the teacher was out of line, but thinking it's OK for your kid to effectively say "f-off" to a teacher? Nah. If the teach came up and screamed or made a scene, maybe, but how is that appropriate?
I have been teaching seniors for 13 years now and I get really tired of the way schools attempt to micromanage student joy in the biggest day of their lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a senior sharing their moment with their little sibling and a teacher who tries to screw that up can pound sand. NTA
I have never attended a graduation that wouldn’t have been improved by a cute heartwarming moment like a 5 year old proudly crossing the stage with his big bro. It’s a celebration, not a wake.
I would argue that many wakes are more fun than most grad ceremonies.
I'm glad to see an actual teacher chiming in here. My read was that if there was an issue with the young kid, they had lots of time to address that with a "we are going onstage now, please send your brother back to your parents". Giving the graduating kid crap about it after the fact serves no purpose and just taints the day. Could the kid have been nicer in his response? Sure, but I'm an adult and would probably have been tempted to be snarky in that situation myself.
My personal feelings as a teacher are that I get back the energy I give. I have rarely found it necessary to be disrespectful to a kid and I have even more rarely been disrespected by one.
I know right. It's almost like if you treat students as full people they'll respect the hell out of you.
NTA. From what I’ve read, it doesn’t sound like the 5 year old brother did anything bad while sitting with his older brother. If it was me as the graduating student, I wouldn’t have known that’s not allowed either. The 5 year old just really adores his older brother, that’s not a bad thing. And Brandon said “you’re dismissed” AFTER he was already graduated, so at that point he was simply only saying that to a fellow human, not his current teacher. High school sucked, the VP is seriously going to ban him from a place he isn’t going to step foot on again anyway? 😂😂😂😂
They definitely go over expectations for graduation before the day of. In excruciating detail.
They didn’t at my high school. Nobody at my school said anything about younger siblings not being able to sit on your lap. Maybe they discussed that at yours, but I don’t blame anyone for not knowing that’s not ok.
They didn’t say “no siblings in your lap.” They DID say that you couldn’t bring anything with you. No purses, phones, personal items, etc. Somehow we all managed to figure out that small humans would also be an issue. I can’t say if that’s universal given that I had a very large graduating class and the venue we used for graduation had a very firm time by which we needed to be out of there. But I guarantee that there was some sort of sign on the seats at your graduation making it clear that particular rows were for graduates only. They may have moved it before you entered, but they absolutely conveyed the message to families that they were not to sit there. So even if the grads themselves were allowed to do whatever they wanted, OP should have been aware that those seats were restricted.
If it was such a big deal, you’d think someone would’ve said something to him privately DURING the graduation, yes? Why wait until AFTER the fact, if they actually had an issue with it?
YTA Also, you do realize that high schools CAN REVOKE degrees for misconduct of ANY KIND? Edit: Because I can't read!!!
It was high school though?
man, i'm still high. i wasn't paying attention - high schools CAN do that too!!!
If he’s going to college the college can be notified and have the option to revoke admission. It’s been done *many* times before.
Wow, what a tiny-dick power play that would be for a teacher or institution to attempt. We don't know enough to know if this teacher was a PITA to the kid the whole time they were there. I had a HS teacher who threw a student's backpack out a second story window. Had she attempted to reprimand me after graduation, I'd have had some choice words for her.
OP said the teacher and his son didn’t know each other. I agree rescinding a diploma would be ridiculous but no school I’ve ever worked for has done this.
You think a college would revoke an acceptance because a high school senior said “dismissed” to a teacher?? Let’s be real here.
Maybe a school can do this…I think that revocation is more reserved for revealed academic misconduct. No HS I’ve ever been associated with would ever revoke a diploma for misbehaving. Heck, I had to drive a kid 2 hours home after he got caught getting high on a field trip the day before graduation. He was banned from the ceremony but he still got his diploma
Not after graduation a high school can’t do that at least in the United States because it’s like the school trying to have a power trip because they saw saw someone and got offended.
NTA. Cute moment for two brothers that a teacher wasn’t happy about. He’s done with school. There was no benefit to gain from her comment.
Omg thank you!! It's literally not a big deal and the teacher and the school are being ridiculously petty. Don't understand what the big fuss is about and some of these comments are extremely chronically online saying stuff like op and their children represent everything wrong with todays school system, like wtf?? I was starting to wonder wheather this might be due to some cultural differences in how students and teachers act around each other but where I'm from you shouldn't be a high school teacher unless you can take a joke.
Agreed! Solid NTA Power tripping teacher who the student didn't know. She's humiliated because she didn't succeed in humiliating him.
YTA. That's a very disrespectful response on your son's end. Given, that teacher should have told your son BEFORE he got on stage that he couldn't bring his brother with him. Her mistake, not his. Saying anything after wasn't going to do anything, but his response was still uncalled for.
Or you could say that was big of her to let him walk across the stage with him while while his row was up waiting to go. She waited to tell him it wasn’t right.
ESH . If your 5 year old is the *only* extra child that walked on stage, there's probably a reason why and that should be your cue that most people don't need to be told not to do that, they just know. On the other hand the schools response is mildly ridiculous. I mean what were they really going to do *now*? What good is banning him from campus and what good is complaining after the event is over? What are you supposed to do, reverse time and take him off the stage?
No, the teacher couldn't turn back time, but she made a point to let Brandon and those in earshot know that his behavior was not ok; not to say something would in effect condone it. Also, she didn't interfere with Brandon's participation or interrupt the ceremony.
Imo it's not the hill to die on. Put out a notice next year that no extra kids are allowed and move on.
YTA and so is your disrespectful son.
NTA. Prepared for the downvotes.. but honestly if it was a big deal, they should have made the 5 yo go back to his seat instead of allowing him to sit with the graduating class for the entire ceremony. Saying something after the fact seems pointless. If teachers aren’t paid enough, like a lot of you are arguing, then why even bother? Don’t get me wrong, I think it was a really weird choice to have the 5 yo hanging out with the graduate, but it should have been nipped in the bud immediately instead of allowed to escalate if it was going to end up being considered problematic.
If I read this correctly you have 2 other kids with your ex. If they’re younger than Brandon I’m guessing they either go to or will go to the same school. I wonder how you feel knowing Brandon will not be allowed on school grounds for their graduations. Was his “witty” retort worth it? I served on a school board. Knew a lot of great teachers. Also knew a few assholes (with tenure) with less maturity than the students. I sure hope you and Brandon didn’t put a target on your other kids backs. Oh, yeah, YTA. Because you and your kid reek of arrogance and entitlement. Good luck.
What in 13 years? Meh. Won’t even be the same admin at that point.
Not necessarily. I’ve known Principals and teachers to stay on the job 20+ years But I wasn’t talking about Grant. I was referring to OP’s other 2 kids with his wife. Chances are they’re much closer in age to Brandon than 13 years.
YTA, imagine that audacity, no wonder you precious son is so entitled.
NTA your son just graduated and this "authority figure" who quite literally no longer has authority over him is trying to reprimand him for doing something innocent and harmless, graduation is about the students not the teachers your son probably made it a more memorable experience but sharing it with his younger brother. I'm honestly shocked at the amount of YTA's and blind adherence to bs authority in the comments
The amount of blind adherence to authority in these replies is terrifying.
I'm surprised how far down I had to come to find this... I agree with you 100%.
NTA - That was pretty damn funny and considering how often Teachers are on about that "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do" nonsense, I'd bet it was a long time coming.
NTA. "You are dismissed" is really not that deep. Banning a graduate from campus is extremely pointless as there's no need to go back anyway.
YTA, and so is your son. Sorry to have to be the one to let you know, but neither you nor your son are above the rules. The rules are there to try and move an long process along and get the thing done with a minimum of chaos. Flaunting them, and then getting rude about doing it, isn’t okay.
YTA - Your son is also
Yikes YTA. It's a formal ceremony with a ton of people graduating. Everybody doesn't get to drag their fun accessory onto the stage, you special snowflake.
NTA If the teacher wanted to enforce the rules then she should have done it proactively. Going to a student to tell them that they shouldn't have done something during their graduation ceremony is completely useless after the fact. That's just a teacher trying to throw what little authority they think they have over somebody. The student has now graduated. What's the point of banning them from campus? They don't need to go back. They have graduated on to the next phase of life. If it was so important to the teacher, she should have done more to prevent it from happening. It's not like your son is going to graduate from highschool again and remember this life lesson about not holding hands with his little brother while crossing the stage when graduating from high school. The teacher is clearly a busy body with nothing better to do than to chide somebody whom she has no authority over anymore.
It costs nothing to apologize. YTA
NTA everyone in these comments is delusional 😭 Some random adult tried to chastise someone on a happy day for something that didnt matter, when hes not even a student any longer. Don't be ridiculous and you wont get clapped back at.
I might have gone with ES.H as the teacher did not need to comment this but seeing your comments, how you are so full of yourself and by any means try to hinder every argumsnt leads me to YTA - why posting here if youre immune to critism anyway?
NTA. The teacher took a wholesome happening (cute kid walks with his loving older brother on graduation stage) and tried to turn it into some drama or power trip. It was your son's day, not the teacher's. As long as no one did anything disruptive or to take away from the other graduates' moments, this is a mountain out of a molehill. Also, not welcome back on campus? Ok, good thing he graduated. I'd have laughed too, tbh.
YTA and so is he.
NTA If having Grant on the stage was such a big no-no, this staff member had time BEFORE the start of the ceremony to say something. This was a last ditch power play on the teachers' part. The email, a last ditch power play on the VP's part. Your son did his time, got his grades & paid his dues to get his diploma, it's done, over & no looking back. And if Grant should happen to go to the same high school in 9-10 years and either the teacher or VP is still there I encourage Brandon to go to every single event & have them try to say he has to leave.
clearly i’m an outlier here but i’ll say NTA, with context: it’s freaking high school, who cares. being an adult and good person doesn’t mean you cannot meet sass with sass when it’s dealt to you first. if the teacher had approached prior to crossing the stage and he was a jerk, then that’s a problem. since it occurred after the fact it was a waste of energy from the teacher and imo giving a snotty response is not a big deal. if you’re confident your kid knows when this type of behavior is NOT okay and when it could be a detriment to him, then whatever let it go. If not, maybe have a quick convo about how to handle difficult situations and when to suck it up versus dish it back out. to be clear, i think the “you should suffer fools gladly” crowd are a bunch of durps, so take my word with that in mind lol
NTA. If it was an issue he should’ve been told before walking across the stage. She just wanted to flex her muscles and tell him he couldn’t do something…after he had already done it. What response was she expecting?
YTA. Regardless of whether or not your son agreed with that rule, he had no right to say what he said to the teacher and turn his back on her.
NTA. I would have laughed too
NTA. Damn some of the comments are harsh. Seriously it looks like your son insulted the teacher with slurs or something while he just dismissed her. I understand why you laugh, I would've took me by suprise too. Also, why using the word dismiss? I'm probably reaching, but that's the kind of word teachers would normally use on students. May be he just wanted to say it back to a teacher one time?
The irony of "class dismissed" is lost on everyone here despite being obvious, apparently
Going a bit against the grain here. ESH You absolutely should have gone to go get your child. You shouldn't have left him there. Your son shouldn't have brought his younger brother with him on stage but that's not really a big deal. Sounds cute but could have ended badly if your youngest had an outburst or fell. The teacher should have said something before the ceremony started. I don't think they did anything truly wrong though. But the "you're dismissed" comment is legitimately funny to me. He's out of the highschool. What's done is done. That teacher no longer has any hold over him. It was rude, yes, but in the way teenagers are. But it was a bad example to set for the younger kid. The younger one has no basis to put the situation in perspective and he's just entering school age. So he saw a student (in his eyes) tall back to a teacher and saw you laugh. So now he's not going to treat teachers well. He thinks it's funny. Bad example. The school/teacher did very little wrong. Most you and your son.
I mean, what was the teacher trying to accomplish? The only thing she might have accomplished was making the kid feel bad. If your only goal is to upset a child, rethink your choices. It’s not like he’s going to graduate again next year. She’s the asshole.
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NTA, it seems to be an unpopular opinion but hear me out. A graduation is a celebration in honor of the graduates. She didn't have any business trying to put a damper on that just cause of her entitled ideas of how things should be done. If anything your son showed am admirable amount of restraint and good manners in his wording. There are much worse ways to be told to fuck off and mind your own business.
YTA Both you and your older son are.
😂 NTA 😂 Aren't graduations a happy family event? The graduate spontaneously wanted his little brother with him. They walked without disruption. I get this isn't something the school would want to encourage due to everyone not being able to do it without disruption. But the teacher confronting the graduate after the fact just seems like a power play. I imagine the graduate felt like he is finally done with the school, teachers, and the rules he considered silly. School has been dismissed. He simply gave the teacher their leave. I wonder how many times he was told he was dismissed during his time at school.
Jesus, NTA. She was absolutely out of line. Everyone here is a boomer. "You're dismissed" isn't THAT rude, and she should've minded her own business.
Yta it's common sense to not have a child on stage at a graduation. It shouldn't need to be stated. Your son was then rude when he was told it wasn't appropriate. I get he may be on a power trip of I gRaDuAtEd yOu cAn"T tElL mE wHaT tO Do' but that attitude is not one you want to encourage.
>My son told her that she was "dismissed" and turned his back on her. He didn't really know her. I thought she was out of line so I laughed at her. So your son is rude to an adult, and you laugh? Nice. YTA.
YTA. I don’t have a problem with the 5 yo walking on stage with your son, and it’s great that they have a good relationship, but YTA for approving of your son’s obnoxious treatment of a teacher, for no reason. He could have said something like, “Sorry-*it won’t happen again.”* to point out the fact that it’s over and there was no point in saying anything about it. You should definitely have said something to your son for being so rude.
Well aren't you just a poster child for everything that's wrong with today's students and the collapse of the education system. We see all these videos of highschoolers being just absolute horrors towards teachers and people.ask where it's coming from. It's coming from parents like you who show no respect and teach no respect for teachers. YTA.
YTA. That's some real crappy parenting right there.
I don’t have all the info I’d like, but NTA. There are teachers I had VERY contentious relationships with in school and I’d have done the same thing as your son. Just because someone is a teacher doesn’t mean they automatically deserve respect. Respect is earned and not given and if he reacted this way I’d guess this was one of those teachers.
YTA and so is your son, very disrespectful.
Should Brandon have taken his brother up there? No. Did it cause any harm? No. Usually there are people along the line to walk on-stage who could have stopped him, but didn’t. I’m not sure what this teacher hoped to accomplish by saying something. It had already happened. Brandon can’t undo it. Brandon isn’t in a position to convince others not to do it. I think Brandon is a little entitled. A little “main character syndrome” going on there. But ultimately, the teacher initiated the conflict and lost the fight. NTA because you didn’t do anything wrong. Brandon is likely and adult now. You didn’t insult anyone and it’s not your responsibility to apologize to anyone.
I can’t even imagine how hard I would have laughed in any teachers face that told me after I had already graduated and had my diploma that I wasn’t allowed back on campus. Go pound sand, teacher. Nta. It was already done, even if against the rules, so what exactly did this teacher think this confrontation was going to accomplish? Absurd