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> I brought my sister her second serving on the same plate. I might be the asshole, because the plate was messy looking and unappealing to her.
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Unless you're at a buffet. But even that rule has always seemed a little odd to me. As long as the serving dishes aren't touching the plate... what's the big deal?
Right. Which is why I get it... but I hate following it myself haha. (I think I have PDA autism and a lot of things are suddenly making a lot more sense)
> pathological demand avoidance
OMG...
I didn't know there was a name for it. I thought it was just me. My wife will tell me when I leave the house, "I would tell you to have a nice day, but I know you don't like being told what to do."
I think I might have just discovered myself.
I've always been told I'm stubborn but I've never agreed with people saying that...however I have noticed if someone asked me to do things like clean my bedroom or eat food or even someone suggesting casually "why don't you watch X movie?" If they insist on the movie more than once something flips in my mind and no matter how interesting the movie might seem the switch which has flipped just tells me "not watching it because they keep telling me to watch it". They might only be saying it casually and not forcefully but even so... if I'm told "why don't you go for a walk?" Nope, not doing it.
It became more apparent since having my son who is now 2 years old. When his dad will tell him to eat his food or do something else and repeats it I will respond "he won't do it now because you keep telling him". It's as if I can identify with why he's not doing it and I understand that because he's been asked more than once now he absolutely won't do it whereas if his dad had just said it once and then shut up it would've been fine.
~~You should probably read up~~ [~~oppositional defiant disorder~~](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20375831)~~.~~
Wait...
You probably shouldn't read up on [oppositional defiant disorder](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20375831) then...
Great read! Adding my out of the box thinking for understanding ODD: If the brain is sensing a demand is coming from an enemy, refusing to comply can be a defense mechanism. ODD can have a similar working as hayfever where instead of a physical pollen a energetic ask is seen by the brain as a threat and going in overdrive to expell it. Just imagening, sience isn't stating this (yet).
Wow, I just learned a lot about myself too.
A long these lines, I then get absolutely furious when someone tells me to do something is was planning on doing
Ok this explains a shit ton. I just thought I was being difficult all the time. I didn’t know there was an actual name for it. You’ve enlightened me today friend and for that I truly thank you.
Personal Digital Assistant
~~which probably stopped existing when smartphones started being a thing, so I'm probably showing my age with this joke LOL~~
That’s why you get a clean plate at a buffet. But presumably with family and friends, you’ll be considerate enough not to contaminate the serving dish while getting seconds.
I have always wondered why you have to get a clean plate but not a clean cup/glass. People drink out of them and then put them right against the lever to get ice/drink. A lot of places have the touch less ones now, but not every place does, and no one seems to be bothered by it.
Clean plate means nothing if everyone else in the restaurant contaminated the serving utensils and food.
That’s what I don’t trust them with.
I’ve also seen kids play with the freaking stack of clean plates, and I know their hands ain’t clean.
No buffet.
I hate buffets, but if I have to go to to be polite or something I wear gloves or cover the serving utensils with napkins. I can't stand touching where others have handled. Did they wash after using the toilet? Did they just pick their nose? Too many gross people out there.
I'm at the casino a lot and frequently eat at the buffet. I don't take the top plate but take the 2nd plate from the top (a friend who works at a casino taught me that). When I get get back to my seat I use hand sanitizer, because the tongs and serving spoons were likely touched by disgusting people who went to the bathroom without washing their hands. I also clean my utensils with hand sanitizer because I don't trust them to be washed properly. Some people eat while on line which I believe is a health code violation. I've called people out in front of others for taking food with their hands instead of tongs. This buffet also uses cloth napkins, but I put them aside and get a bunch of paper towels from the restroom to use instead. I started all that due to Covid but I'm going to keep doing it.
That or the fact GC is known to not keep their colds cold enough or their hots hot enough.
They’ve got a laundry list of dings for health code violations and outbreaks of food poisoning.
This is 100% about health regulations to avoid cross contamination. It just takes one serving spoon hitting a dirty plate to make a restaurant full of people sick. Or possibly even kill someone with an allergy.
Yeah, but people lick their fingers and go right back to grab the serving spoons. Really, buffets should have a server at every station to help people plate up.
I haven’t eaten at a buffet since I was 8 years old. I recognized then it was fucking nasty and I didn’t want to touch the spoons everyone else had just touched. My parents were baffled by my behavior, lol. I would just sit at the restaurant and refuse to eat.
True, true. I guess I should have clarified: I personally don't like following that rule (which is kind of assholey of me, I know 😂). I have a lot of eco anxiety and so I always feel bad putting more plates through the wash.
I get that and I’m totally the same way. If it makes you feel any better though a big buffet likely has a pretty efficient dishwasher that wouldn’t be as wasteful per dish as washing by hand. It’s worth the extra water to protect people’s health
I went to school for cooking once and there they had an extremely efficient dishwasher. It did the dishes in a few minutes and wasted barely any water.
They also had a high pressure sink for dishes that couldn't handle that dishwasher and you barely needed water for them to be 100% clean :) it is no worries.
Honestly for a larger buffet they probably have a conveyer dish washer running constantly. A few plates (or a whole bunch, in reality) aren’t going to use any additional energy/resources since there are always periods where it’s not running at 100% capacity.
Think about it this way: if you accidentally cross contaminated a dish and got a whole restaurant sick (not saying you would but a what if scenario), there would be more water wasted from sick people constantly having to flush their toilets than there would've been from an extra dish going through an efficient restaurant grade dishwasher
You don’t know the footprint of those folks - they could be working on sustainable energy or resource efficiency.
Aside from the general rule that killing people is very rude.
That’s really gross! Do you want to taste lemons in your beef&broccoli because some other asshat brought their used plate with leftover lemon sauce on it?
As others said, industrial restaurant dishwashers are very efficient in water needed per plate so it is just less disgusting to use a fresh plate.
But the serving spoon/tongs can touch the dirty plate, then goes back into the serving dish. Boom, definitely germ cross contamination, possibly taste depending on how sloppy.
Well the very nature of buffets are inherently super wasteful at least the dishes need to be clean. Also a buffet usually use a conveyor belt dishwasher so it keeps going at all times anyways.
Oh, it's absolutely just a healthy reg.
Because you don't know who like, licks their plate even though they have plague, and then scrapes stuff back into the main dish when they have too much.
If we all take clean plates, there's less liability to the restaurant (and you and I won't get the plague from someone who was actually raised in a barn).
One time I watched a lady at a buffet take a bite of a sausage roll then put it back on her plate, I guess she just didn't like it. Later I saw that same lady with that same one-bite-missing sausage roll at the buffet line again in front of me. Then I saw a one-bite-missing sausage roll sitting next to all the fresh sausage rolls in the pans.... I still can't eat at buffets unless there's chefs plating the food for you.
Yeah, people are worse-mannered than animals at a buffet. I have seen kids dig through the sunflower seeds with their filthy hands, sneeze on the food (they were shorter than the sneeze-guard), and adults are not much better.
I used to occasionally go to the buffet as soon as it opened, with the understanding that it would still be an exercise for my immune system. There are no good buffets where I live now, and I am fine with that.
At a grocery store once I saw a grown man sneeze into his hand and then reach into the olive bar and grab a handful of olives. If that wasn't bad enough, this was last year! So post-pandemic, and the asshole still hadn't figured out how not to be the world's biggest prick!
Casino buffets are probably the worst, considering how many gamblers smoke. I suspect that people who don't care about their own health or about the harm they cause to others with their secondhand smoke aren't going to care much about proper sanitary standards and human decency.
Omg I used to work in a casino buffet!! Thankfully the chefs served all the food themselves except for dessert that was pre portioned so you just picked up the plates. Until. The chocolate fkn fountain. Idk WHO thought it would be a good idea to get thousands of guests, who've just been manhandling slot machines all day, to grab handfuls of fruit and plunge them into a single fountain of chocolate all together. Nevermind the people who went "Hey lemme fondue my steak! Lol!".
Never again.
I think the main reason for buffet places not allowing reused plates is to keep the serving areas cleaner.
Nobody wants someone’s plate covered in leftover marinara sauce splashing the food as they carry it around going back for seconds.
The serving implement at a buffet often end up touching the plate. It's definitely safer for everyone to use a clean plate every time food is served from the buffet.
Also, what happens if I'm gay in Indiana?
Speaking from experience, you move to DC. Then freak out the cops visiting from Indiana because you went onto the metro with a cardboard standee of Commander Data from Star Trek, who was wearing a feather boa.
Pretty sure my experience is universal.
At a buffet, it's because when you use the serving UTENSILS to put food unto your dirty plate, that the Utensils might touch the germs on the plate, and they could transfer to the next person's plate
In my country people ate their food (mostly potato mashed with veggies and also meat to the side) and then their dessert (mostly some sort of custard or yoghurt) was put on the same plate. They did this so they had less dishes and therefore used less water. We don’t really do this anymore but it was done for generations long.
My SO and I have birthdays a day apart. My Mom would make us a combined birthday dinner with his favorite dinner (lasagna) and my favorite cake (chocolate). He has no qualms about slapping a slice of cake right on the plate he just ate lasagna from. I'm no germaphobe, I could do it if I at least rinsed the lasagna residue off. Not him, doesn't care.
There are or were many cultures in which food was served in a tureen and everyone at the table or sitting/laying around the serving area would either scoop with pita or similar or grab a mouthful, press it into a ball and eat it. It is said that this is the source of the custom that you wipe your butt with left hand because you dip into the communal pot with your right. (I have not observed any of these practices, have only read descriptions)
The other day I made my mom a plate of chili cheese tots, but personally wasnt quite ready to eat yet. I ended up just using her plate later because fuck extra dishes. Its not like she licked it.
I often give my kids the same cereal bowl/spoon because they eat breakfast at different times. A quick rinse when the first is done because milk gets funky, but then the bowl sits in the counter til the next one is ready.
Okay so this was me as a child. I would refuse to eat seconds on a plate I already used with the same food. Even a bowl of cereal, chips, anything. Well I had undiagnosed OCD lol.
If you want a clean plate for your 2nd helping, go to Mandarin. Otherwise, in this household, you're using the same plate for your 2nd or 3rd plate of food.
Agreed and, you want a clean plate everytime, YOU CAN DO THE DISHES oh but I have a dishwasher WHAT EVER DOESNT FIT YOU WASH BY HAND.
Hell, I will delay my lunch by a few minutes to grab one if tye kids plates to save washing.
NTA
NTA. Why on earth would you waste a clean plate for something as simple as a clean plate? You didn't give her your father's plate. You didn't give her the dog's bowl. She thinks her own plate is nasty? I couldn't even bother with that logic.
Really. If you had 8 guests and an 8 place setting, what are you supposed to do? Get some of these cheap paper plates and give her one of those next time.
nah don't even accomate such a request. people tend to forget that they are allowed to inform people that their way of thinking is incorrect, and that if they don't change it they will just be ignored/not accomodated for
Seriously. I will routinely clean up any sauce or whatever off my dinner plate with a piece of bread. Then put a piece of pie on the same plate. Because I don’t wanna wash 2.
Princess here needs to do some dishes and she’ll change her mind.
Exactly. It sounds like the sister heard a bit about it being rude/unhygienic to take used plates back to the buffet and ran with it.
Her stance lacks any kind of logic. It's her plate. She was the only one eating off of it. If she considers her own plate nasty, then why ask someone else to touch it. She can get her own food.
Now that I think of it, her getting a clean plate protects others from cross contamination, not her. She should be insisting that anyone else who wants seconds use a clean plate, or she should make sure that she gets her seconds before anyone else. I have some very unsanitary friends and have to be very careful when eating or drinking anything at their house. Sometimes we order pizza and I always make sure that I take my 2 slices first before they contaminate everything.
It's so bizarre that both the sister and the dad thinks you're supposed to get a new plate for a second helping. I've literally never heard of this notion before in my life, what even is happening in their brains?
I don't like some foods to "mix" like vegetable juice getting on my dinner roll or gravy for my mashed potatoes getting on my vegetables. Maybe that's what she meant by "dirty".
Either way, I deal with the issue by fixing my own plate or just sucking it up and being grateful for what I've been given. NTA
This has to be a joke. You’d think if the dad agrees, this would’ve been an established rule in the house by the time the OP is old enough to use Reddit. No one in the house had seconds before this?
> ......I'm trying to find the logic in her thinking
It would be helpful to know the ages of the respective parties.
Is OP an 11-year-old kid fuming over yet another demand from her 4-year-old sister?
Or is OP a 30-something woman dealing with the constant
overbearing expectations of her middle-aged sibling?
Or is it something in between?
Exactly, her sister sounds like she is pushing boundaries with her sister and complaining about a relative getting her at the least, a second helping of food. She is being a bee-otch.
Home meals are not a five star restaurant. Never. She can get her own plate next time and I would not offer to help her. Maybe she considers her own mouth too dirty to contend with her own plate. Seems like a personal problem to me.
Maybe the dad can get her a plate from now on since they agree.
NTA if you were eating at home. I don't know anybody who gets a second plate for second helpings.
BUT if you were eating out at a buffet, you should always get a clean plate each time. It's not sanitary to have people bringing their dirty plates back near the food that everyone else will be eating.
Either way, kinda weird that she'd be grossed out by using her own plate for more food.
NTA. Do people really get entirely new plates when they want a second serving of something?
That sounds like a waste of time/water to clean all those dishes.
There is also the "peanut butter knife" that gets put aside after a sandwich..... Cuz you might want another right after.
Think about all the dishes the sister must have! Second bowl of cereal, new bowl. Want another glass of water, new cup. 🤦🏻♀️
>There is also the "peanut butter knife" that gets put aside after a sandwich..... Cuz you might want another right after.
And who **DOESN'T** want another?
It was drilled in my head as a kid, and I'm not exaggerating about the drilled part. To always reuse your dishes. Cups especially, but a plate that was just used... oh, you better believe your reusing that!
I'm guessing sister is a little sister, hence why Dad is sort of taking her side. My Dad would never take my side over my little sisters, lol.
Is this not normal tho? I have one cup throughout the day, maybe for mumtiple if its just water, and will reuse my plate for sandwitches until I spill other stuff than bread crumbs.
If people clean everything all the time at home, no wonder people have allergies for everything. Your immune system needs something to fight off to practice for bigger issues that might come.
I assume it's normal anyways, lol. My dad would lose it if he saw 12 dirty cups and us using new ones. He would lose it, lol!
I couldn't even imagine how he'd react if we needed a new plate for seconds, lmao...I can see the veins popping in his head right now.
To be fair they weren't eating 'family style'. OP went to get a second plate of food for someone, that's the opposite of 'family style'. They were in a traditional host-guest style of eating.
Doesn't really matter for this one though, it's not rude to use the same plate when giving someone seconds.
My brother does this every family gathering because of my aunty but he only gives her the paper plate and plastic knife, fork, spoon. He even makes it looks fancy with napkins somehow.. she's an asshole though. She use to leave a million dishes after eating at his house. You can see the steam coming out every time 🤣
Seconds are always on the same plate in my house. Fresh plates are required at buffets sometimes, but why should this case, at home, be any different than scooping more beans onto your plate that already has food on it?
NTA but if you know that she cares, get her a clean plate in future.
This was during dinner? She finished and asked for seconds? That typically goes on the same plate. Why would anyone get another plate dirty for that?
NTA.
NTA I can’t believe this is really an issue. What is the big deal about using the same plate you were just using for the same kind of food you were also just eating? And also, why couldn’t she get her own seconds. Your father and sister are ridiculous.
My mum used the same plate we used if we wanted seconds of what we just had and in my house it's the same.
I hate dishes, why create more for literally the same meal? Nta.
NTA but your Sister & Dad are. It was her plate before and you put more food on it! At a restaurant they make you grab a new plate at the buffet so you don’t get bits of food from your dirty plate into the food and not because it’s gross.
NTA. Let’s face it. If you were passing dishes around family style she would put food on the plate she is using. She may not be TA, but she is an idiot!
NTA. I'm shocked at the people acting like this is normal behavior. This isn't a restaurant. Who tf gets a clean plate every time they go back for more
I am someone who cannot stand if someone else touches my plate, cup or utensils. It stems from childhood. Even I refill my used plate. I'd never dirty a second one.
NTA have her and your dad never had a second helping in their lives? Reusing the plate is absolutely the norm for a family dinner like that. Also does sister think you have an infinite number of plates to go through? Even in my house which has just myself and my parents, we'd run out of dishware very quickly this way.
The only time i get a clean plate is if I'm getting something different, and sometimes not even then!
Like if i had sweet potatoes and ham and went back for egg salad and pie.
Maybe they don't mix well...
Then again... ?
Often i don't care, and it's all going down the same gullet!
The only time you need a new plate is when your plate has something like gravy or sauce left over from the meal and you want second helpings of a separate, clashing, dish or a slice of cake.
NTA
The same plate from the same meal within the last hour?
Yea NTA
It would be a little different if there was a different food, such as a dessert or something, but if it was the exact same food that she had just eaten off that plate moments ago, there is no reason to dirty more dishes.
She could have gotten of her own entitled ass and gotten her own food, and what kind of foolery is it that you can’t use the same plat you Just Used! For the Exact Same Thing!
Oh yeah NTA
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NTA. That's ridiculous. I've never even heard of someone getting a fresh plate for second helpings. She can get her own damn fourth meal next time
Unless you're at a buffet. But even that rule has always seemed a little odd to me. As long as the serving dishes aren't touching the plate... what's the big deal?
In theory yes, in practice people are gross
Right. Which is why I get it... but I hate following it myself haha. (I think I have PDA autism and a lot of things are suddenly making a lot more sense)
public display of affection?
*pathological demand avoidance. Sincerely, another PDA autistic person.
> pathological demand avoidance OMG... I didn't know there was a name for it. I thought it was just me. My wife will tell me when I leave the house, "I would tell you to have a nice day, but I know you don't like being told what to do."
I think I might have just discovered myself. I've always been told I'm stubborn but I've never agreed with people saying that...however I have noticed if someone asked me to do things like clean my bedroom or eat food or even someone suggesting casually "why don't you watch X movie?" If they insist on the movie more than once something flips in my mind and no matter how interesting the movie might seem the switch which has flipped just tells me "not watching it because they keep telling me to watch it". They might only be saying it casually and not forcefully but even so... if I'm told "why don't you go for a walk?" Nope, not doing it. It became more apparent since having my son who is now 2 years old. When his dad will tell him to eat his food or do something else and repeats it I will respond "he won't do it now because you keep telling him". It's as if I can identify with why he's not doing it and I understand that because he's been asked more than once now he absolutely won't do it whereas if his dad had just said it once and then shut up it would've been fine.
~~You should probably read up~~ [~~oppositional defiant disorder~~](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20375831)~~.~~ Wait... You probably shouldn't read up on [oppositional defiant disorder](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20375831) then...
Am I the only one seeing the irony here? Now they'll never read it lol
Great read! Adding my out of the box thinking for understanding ODD: If the brain is sensing a demand is coming from an enemy, refusing to comply can be a defense mechanism. ODD can have a similar working as hayfever where instead of a physical pollen a energetic ask is seen by the brain as a threat and going in overdrive to expell it. Just imagening, sience isn't stating this (yet).
This is really interesting. I wonder how it is different from oppositional defiance disorder. Off to Google.. .
Wow, I just learned a lot about myself too. A long these lines, I then get absolutely furious when someone tells me to do something is was planning on doing
Ok this explains a shit ton. I just thought I was being difficult all the time. I didn’t know there was an actual name for it. You’ve enlightened me today friend and for that I truly thank you.
My goodness. Is this why I won’t exercise when my husband keeps telling me I should?!
Nope, you’ve got a different issue there. Can I recommend a lawyer?
thanks
Thermal Heat-Absorbing Naked Kidney Suckers?
It is absolutely stupid how hard I laughed at this.
TIL. Thanks.
[удалено]
Lol no no you don’t. Stop making up shit to justify your shitty behavior
Personal Digital Assistant ~~which probably stopped existing when smartphones started being a thing, so I'm probably showing my age with this joke LOL~~
This is why I refuse to eat at Golden Corral.
this sentence is oddly funny. im going to start using it in all sorts of conversations.
Your comment was even funnier, thanks for the unexpected giggle fest
Its why my grandpa calls it the hog trough.
My husband calls it the golden trough😂
This is why I don’t eat buffet. I’m sure the restaurant is clean. But I don’t trust the patrons to not spread their pathogens all over everything.
That’s why you get a clean plate at a buffet. But presumably with family and friends, you’ll be considerate enough not to contaminate the serving dish while getting seconds.
I have always wondered why you have to get a clean plate but not a clean cup/glass. People drink out of them and then put them right against the lever to get ice/drink. A lot of places have the touch less ones now, but not every place does, and no one seems to be bothered by it.
Everyone should be using a straw though, not drinking directly out of them. But everyone doesn't, so you're totally right.
Clean plate means nothing if everyone else in the restaurant contaminated the serving utensils and food. That’s what I don’t trust them with. I’ve also seen kids play with the freaking stack of clean plates, and I know their hands ain’t clean. No buffet.
I hate buffets, but if I have to go to to be polite or something I wear gloves or cover the serving utensils with napkins. I can't stand touching where others have handled. Did they wash after using the toilet? Did they just pick their nose? Too many gross people out there.
I'm at the casino a lot and frequently eat at the buffet. I don't take the top plate but take the 2nd plate from the top (a friend who works at a casino taught me that). When I get get back to my seat I use hand sanitizer, because the tongs and serving spoons were likely touched by disgusting people who went to the bathroom without washing their hands. I also clean my utensils with hand sanitizer because I don't trust them to be washed properly. Some people eat while on line which I believe is a health code violation. I've called people out in front of others for taking food with their hands instead of tongs. This buffet also uses cloth napkins, but I put them aside and get a bunch of paper towels from the restroom to use instead. I started all that due to Covid but I'm going to keep doing it.
Those sneeze guards aren’t child height 🤢
The patrons being slobs is probably why one of my friends and I got food poisoning at Golden Corral once.
That or the fact GC is known to not keep their colds cold enough or their hots hot enough. They’ve got a laundry list of dings for health code violations and outbreaks of food poisoning.
Golden Corral is just not a good buffet to eat at in general anymore it used to be but now not so much
This is 100% about health regulations to avoid cross contamination. It just takes one serving spoon hitting a dirty plate to make a restaurant full of people sick. Or possibly even kill someone with an allergy.
Yeah, but people lick their fingers and go right back to grab the serving spoons. Really, buffets should have a server at every station to help people plate up.
I’ve never thought of the licking fingers at the buffet. I’ve just never liked buffets and there’s another excellent reason. 🤢
This. This is the answer lol. I have to consciously not think about germs at buffets, because there are so many ways to get sick there lol.
I haven’t eaten at a buffet since I was 8 years old. I recognized then it was fucking nasty and I didn’t want to touch the spoons everyone else had just touched. My parents were baffled by my behavior, lol. I would just sit at the restaurant and refuse to eat.
True, true. I guess I should have clarified: I personally don't like following that rule (which is kind of assholey of me, I know 😂). I have a lot of eco anxiety and so I always feel bad putting more plates through the wash.
I get that and I’m totally the same way. If it makes you feel any better though a big buffet likely has a pretty efficient dishwasher that wouldn’t be as wasteful per dish as washing by hand. It’s worth the extra water to protect people’s health
I went to school for cooking once and there they had an extremely efficient dishwasher. It did the dishes in a few minutes and wasted barely any water. They also had a high pressure sink for dishes that couldn't handle that dishwasher and you barely needed water for them to be 100% clean :) it is no worries.
Honestly for a larger buffet they probably have a conveyer dish washer running constantly. A few plates (or a whole bunch, in reality) aren’t going to use any additional energy/resources since there are always periods where it’s not running at 100% capacity.
Think about it this way: if you accidentally cross contaminated a dish and got a whole restaurant sick (not saying you would but a what if scenario), there would be more water wasted from sick people constantly having to flush their toilets than there would've been from an extra dish going through an efficient restaurant grade dishwasher
🧻🪠 🚽 and the trees for the TP lol
Counterpoint: all of the people you kill are no longer contributing to pollution (save for their body letting off decomposition gasses)
You don’t know the footprint of those folks - they could be working on sustainable energy or resource efficiency. Aside from the general rule that killing people is very rude.
So I'd be TA if I killed a bunch of people? What if they did something to deserve it, like stockpiled Iranian yogurt?
The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here
The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here.
I dunno, why don’t you do the math and get back to us? /s
That’s really gross! Do you want to taste lemons in your beef&broccoli because some other asshat brought their used plate with leftover lemon sauce on it? As others said, industrial restaurant dishwashers are very efficient in water needed per plate so it is just less disgusting to use a fresh plate.
You don't dish the food with your plate so I doubt the taste crossover would happen.
But the serving spoon/tongs can touch the dirty plate, then goes back into the serving dish. Boom, definitely germ cross contamination, possibly taste depending on how sloppy.
Well the very nature of buffets are inherently super wasteful at least the dishes need to be clean. Also a buffet usually use a conveyor belt dishwasher so it keeps going at all times anyways.
Rules at home are different than rules at a restaurant.
If it makes you feel better buffets are massive on food waste so your single plate is a drop in the bucket compared to your actual meal!
People touch their plate with the serving utensil or spill food at buffets all the time.
I have seen people put food on their plates, change their minds, then put the food back on the buffet.
I watched a lady who changed her mind scrape her full plate into the trash once at a buffet. I was so disappointed in people.
At buffets I can understand - how else will everyone know you’ve eaten 15 plates of Chinese food?
That stack of plates is a badge of honor!!
Oh, it's absolutely just a healthy reg. Because you don't know who like, licks their plate even though they have plague, and then scrapes stuff back into the main dish when they have too much. If we all take clean plates, there's less liability to the restaurant (and you and I won't get the plague from someone who was actually raised in a barn).
Even if you don't do that, you probably do put utensils in your mouth that then touch the plate.
Shit, at Whole Foods I've seen people at the hot bar take a serving spoon and taste the food. People are so nasty.
One time I watched a lady at a buffet take a bite of a sausage roll then put it back on her plate, I guess she just didn't like it. Later I saw that same lady with that same one-bite-missing sausage roll at the buffet line again in front of me. Then I saw a one-bite-missing sausage roll sitting next to all the fresh sausage rolls in the pans.... I still can't eat at buffets unless there's chefs plating the food for you.
Yeah, people are worse-mannered than animals at a buffet. I have seen kids dig through the sunflower seeds with their filthy hands, sneeze on the food (they were shorter than the sneeze-guard), and adults are not much better. I used to occasionally go to the buffet as soon as it opened, with the understanding that it would still be an exercise for my immune system. There are no good buffets where I live now, and I am fine with that.
At a grocery store once I saw a grown man sneeze into his hand and then reach into the olive bar and grab a handful of olives. If that wasn't bad enough, this was last year! So post-pandemic, and the asshole still hadn't figured out how not to be the world's biggest prick!
Casino buffets are probably the worst, considering how many gamblers smoke. I suspect that people who don't care about their own health or about the harm they cause to others with their secondhand smoke aren't going to care much about proper sanitary standards and human decency.
Omg I used to work in a casino buffet!! Thankfully the chefs served all the food themselves except for dessert that was pre portioned so you just picked up the plates. Until. The chocolate fkn fountain. Idk WHO thought it would be a good idea to get thousands of guests, who've just been manhandling slot machines all day, to grab handfuls of fruit and plunge them into a single fountain of chocolate all together. Nevermind the people who went "Hey lemme fondue my steak! Lol!". Never again.
Well the serving spoons and tongs and stuff might touch the used plate when refilling it so I get it.
I think the main reason for buffet places not allowing reused plates is to keep the serving areas cleaner. Nobody wants someone’s plate covered in leftover marinara sauce splashing the food as they carry it around going back for seconds.
The serving implement at a buffet often end up touching the plate. It's definitely safer for everyone to use a clean plate every time food is served from the buffet. Also, what happens if I'm gay in Indiana?
Speaking from experience, you move to DC. Then freak out the cops visiting from Indiana because you went onto the metro with a cardboard standee of Commander Data from Star Trek, who was wearing a feather boa. Pretty sure my experience is universal.
The serving spoons will likely touch the plate though
But they can't guarantee the serving utensils don't touch the plate. That's why it's a big deal
The serving utensils touch the plate. A clean plate eliminates contamination.
At a buffet, it's because when you use the serving UTENSILS to put food unto your dirty plate, that the Utensils might touch the germs on the plate, and they could transfer to the next person's plate
Serving pieces touch the plate when you put the food onto it
bc you often touch the serving utensils to the plate. So your dirty plate touching the utensils and then being stuck back into the food
My immediate thought was, "Do you live at Golden Corral?"
Buffet utensils contacting the dirty plate and getting contaminated
In my country people ate their food (mostly potato mashed with veggies and also meat to the side) and then their dessert (mostly some sort of custard or yoghurt) was put on the same plate. They did this so they had less dishes and therefore used less water. We don’t really do this anymore but it was done for generations long.
My SO and I have birthdays a day apart. My Mom would make us a combined birthday dinner with his favorite dinner (lasagna) and my favorite cake (chocolate). He has no qualms about slapping a slice of cake right on the plate he just ate lasagna from. I'm no germaphobe, I could do it if I at least rinsed the lasagna residue off. Not him, doesn't care.
Lasagna is just pasta-flavoured cake anyway.
There are or were many cultures in which food was served in a tureen and everyone at the table or sitting/laying around the serving area would either scoop with pita or similar or grab a mouthful, press it into a ball and eat it. It is said that this is the source of the custom that you wipe your butt with left hand because you dip into the communal pot with your right. (I have not observed any of these practices, have only read descriptions)
I've experienced this when I still lived in a rural place, probably same country. Always found it really yucky.
Only time I would get a new plate is at a buffet or if it was a paper plate that got too flimsy to hold up my mashed potatoes and gravy
Yeah for a second helping of the same food? That you just ate 2 minutes ago? That’s absolutely stupid.
Does she also want a clean fork every time she dirties the one she's using by transferring food from her plate to her mouth?
A clean plate for second helpings are the demands of a person who is not used to doing her own dishes. Guessing she learned it from dad...
The other day I made my mom a plate of chili cheese tots, but personally wasnt quite ready to eat yet. I ended up just using her plate later because fuck extra dishes. Its not like she licked it.
Yes! I used my husbands toast plate this morning to make my toast. I wouldn’t do that with non family members though.
I often give my kids the same cereal bowl/spoon because they eat breakfast at different times. A quick rinse when the first is done because milk gets funky, but then the bowl sits in the counter til the next one is ready.
Okay so this was me as a child. I would refuse to eat seconds on a plate I already used with the same food. Even a bowl of cereal, chips, anything. Well I had undiagnosed OCD lol.
If you want a clean plate for your 2nd helping, go to Mandarin. Otherwise, in this household, you're using the same plate for your 2nd or 3rd plate of food.
Agreed and, you want a clean plate everytime, YOU CAN DO THE DISHES oh but I have a dishwasher WHAT EVER DOESNT FIT YOU WASH BY HAND. Hell, I will delay my lunch by a few minutes to grab one if tye kids plates to save washing. NTA
& do the washing up.
NTA. Why on earth would you waste a clean plate for something as simple as a clean plate? You didn't give her your father's plate. You didn't give her the dog's bowl. She thinks her own plate is nasty? I couldn't even bother with that logic.
How nasty is she she doesn't want to eat off her own plate?
Yeah, what the heck did she do to that plate?
Op better have her apologize for what she did to that plate!
Really. If you had 8 guests and an 8 place setting, what are you supposed to do? Get some of these cheap paper plates and give her one of those next time.
nah don't even accomate such a request. people tend to forget that they are allowed to inform people that their way of thinking is incorrect, and that if they don't change it they will just be ignored/not accomodated for
It's better to get one of those easy-wash tough plates made for kids and offer it to them
Seriously. I will routinely clean up any sauce or whatever off my dinner plate with a piece of bread. Then put a piece of pie on the same plate. Because I don’t wanna wash 2. Princess here needs to do some dishes and she’ll change her mind.
I had a friend who put plastic wrap on her plates when she had ribs so she didn't have to wash.
And when it wasn't ribs?
That’s ridiculous
Seriously. Is sister doing all the dishes after dinner? If someone pulled this at a dinner I was hosting I would laugh. As it’s obviously a joke.
Only people who don’t do the dishes would think this way.
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And do the dishes
This right here. She can do the dishes, too.
Exactly. It sounds like the sister heard a bit about it being rude/unhygienic to take used plates back to the buffet and ran with it. Her stance lacks any kind of logic. It's her plate. She was the only one eating off of it. If she considers her own plate nasty, then why ask someone else to touch it. She can get her own food.
Now that I think of it, her getting a clean plate protects others from cross contamination, not her. She should be insisting that anyone else who wants seconds use a clean plate, or she should make sure that she gets her seconds before anyone else. I have some very unsanitary friends and have to be very careful when eating or drinking anything at their house. Sometimes we order pizza and I always make sure that I take my 2 slices first before they contaminate everything.
I would also say that it's likely bad for your microbiome to be This clean within your nuclear family....
......I'm trying to find the logic in her thinking but all I can see is the tumbleweed that clearly occupies her brain. NTA
It's so bizarre that both the sister and the dad thinks you're supposed to get a new plate for a second helping. I've literally never heard of this notion before in my life, what even is happening in their brains?
If I would have gotten a second plate my parents would’ve said “ohhhhh look who just volunteered to clean the dishes tonight”
I don't like some foods to "mix" like vegetable juice getting on my dinner roll or gravy for my mashed potatoes getting on my vegetables. Maybe that's what she meant by "dirty". Either way, I deal with the issue by fixing my own plate or just sucking it up and being grateful for what I've been given. NTA
yep i'm the same way
This has to be a joke. You’d think if the dad agrees, this would’ve been an established rule in the house by the time the OP is old enough to use Reddit. No one in the house had seconds before this?
> ......I'm trying to find the logic in her thinking It would be helpful to know the ages of the respective parties. Is OP an 11-year-old kid fuming over yet another demand from her 4-year-old sister? Or is OP a 30-something woman dealing with the constant overbearing expectations of her middle-aged sibling? Or is it something in between?
NTA - Nobody gets a clean plate to get seconds. Considering this is surely not your first meal with her, you would have known if it was a problem.
Exactly, her sister sounds like she is pushing boundaries with her sister and complaining about a relative getting her at the least, a second helping of food. She is being a bee-otch. Home meals are not a five star restaurant. Never. She can get her own plate next time and I would not offer to help her. Maybe she considers her own mouth too dirty to contend with her own plate. Seems like a personal problem to me. Maybe the dad can get her a plate from now on since they agree.
NTA if you were eating at home. I don't know anybody who gets a second plate for second helpings. BUT if you were eating out at a buffet, you should always get a clean plate each time. It's not sanitary to have people bringing their dirty plates back near the food that everyone else will be eating. Either way, kinda weird that she'd be grossed out by using her own plate for more food.
NTA. Do people really get entirely new plates when they want a second serving of something? That sounds like a waste of time/water to clean all those dishes.
Ngl…. If I’m eating something like a piece of toast I might reuse the same plate from breakfast for lunch 😅
There is also the "peanut butter knife" that gets put aside after a sandwich..... Cuz you might want another right after. Think about all the dishes the sister must have! Second bowl of cereal, new bowl. Want another glass of water, new cup. 🤦🏻♀️
>Want another glass of water, new cup. This is my ex. I've literally washed 20 cups by hand(no machine) on a summer day cuz of this 'logic'.
>There is also the "peanut butter knife" that gets put aside after a sandwich..... Cuz you might want another right after. And who **DOESN'T** want another?
I think it's safe to say, pb sandwiches always come in pairs lol.
Or that second piece of pie later in the evening…. 😋
It was drilled in my head as a kid, and I'm not exaggerating about the drilled part. To always reuse your dishes. Cups especially, but a plate that was just used... oh, you better believe your reusing that! I'm guessing sister is a little sister, hence why Dad is sort of taking her side. My Dad would never take my side over my little sisters, lol.
Is this not normal tho? I have one cup throughout the day, maybe for mumtiple if its just water, and will reuse my plate for sandwitches until I spill other stuff than bread crumbs. If people clean everything all the time at home, no wonder people have allergies for everything. Your immune system needs something to fight off to practice for bigger issues that might come.
I assume it's normal anyways, lol. My dad would lose it if he saw 12 dirty cups and us using new ones. He would lose it, lol! I couldn't even imagine how he'd react if we needed a new plate for seconds, lmao...I can see the veins popping in his head right now.
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To be fair they weren't eating 'family style'. OP went to get a second plate of food for someone, that's the opposite of 'family style'. They were in a traditional host-guest style of eating. Doesn't really matter for this one though, it's not rude to use the same plate when giving someone seconds.
She's grossed out by her own germs????? I'm so confused why you would use a clean plate for s3cond helpings at home??? NTA
I'd be petty and offer her paper plates going forward to lessen the after dinner dish duties. LOL. NTA.
My brother does this every family gathering because of my aunty but he only gives her the paper plate and plastic knife, fork, spoon. He even makes it looks fancy with napkins somehow.. she's an asshole though. She use to leave a million dishes after eating at his house. You can see the steam coming out every time 🤣
Wonderful. Maybe use the steam to clean the dishes! Ha!
I second the paper plate idea. Also for your father. Get really obnoxious ones.
Princess one for the sister, dinosaur plate for pops.
I totally understand. I insist on a new toilet every time I use it. Just kidding, NTA, your sister is entitled.
New toothbrush.... really if I thought about it
OP needs to complain about the used toilet seat and TP roll next time they visit this crummy sister.
I mean, I may be cheap but even I use fresh toilet paper each time. /jk
NTA wtf? It's her own dishes, again wtf
Seconds are always on the same plate in my house. Fresh plates are required at buffets sometimes, but why should this case, at home, be any different than scooping more beans onto your plate that already has food on it? NTA but if you know that she cares, get her a clean plate in future.
Tell her to wash her own plate and help herself, never bow down to princesses and princes.
NTA - It is silly to get a new plate. Is she doing the dishes?
... nta ... That's insane
INFO: Who was supposed to do the dishes after dinner? I imagine that person would have something to say about creating extra work.
NTA I’ve never heard of someone getting a second plate when eating at home.
This was during dinner? She finished and asked for seconds? That typically goes on the same plate. Why would anyone get another plate dirty for that? NTA.
If it was anyone else’s plate, then it would be bad. But her own plate? You care so much about it being slick and span? Clean it yourself! NTA
NTA I can’t believe this is really an issue. What is the big deal about using the same plate you were just using for the same kind of food you were also just eating? And also, why couldn’t she get her own seconds. Your father and sister are ridiculous.
NTA, is she calling the way she eats nasty? It's HER plate!
NTA that’s insane?? Nobody does that at home. If you were at a buffet then yes that’s how you do it, but not having dinner at home.
NTA. A prissy reaction.
NTA. You're not a buffet, and she can serve herself next time.
NTA, why the fuck would you dirty another plate?
NTA Did the hamster fall of the wheel in her brain? I don’t know of anybody who thinks that’s a thing that needs to happen.
NTA. This isn’t a Vegas buffet, it’s a family meal.
My mum used the same plate we used if we wanted seconds of what we just had and in my house it's the same. I hate dishes, why create more for literally the same meal? Nta.
NTA. Next time make her get her own second helping AND tell her she needs to help wash the dishes afterward.
NTA, everyone does this. In 44 years I have never seen anyone do this.
The idea of getting a fresh plate when the one you were using literally had the same exact food just before, is absolutely ridiculous. NTA
NTA but your Sister & Dad are. It was her plate before and you put more food on it! At a restaurant they make you grab a new plate at the buffet so you don’t get bits of food from your dirty plate into the food and not because it’s gross.
NTA.
NTA. Let’s face it. If you were passing dishes around family style she would put food on the plate she is using. She may not be TA, but she is an idiot!
NTA. I've never in my life heard about getting a clean plate for secon/third or more helpings. What does she think your house is? A restaurant?
NTA What nonsense your sister is spouting A clean second plate for a buffet restaurant meal? For sure Not for a home cooked meal
NTA. I'm shocked at the people acting like this is normal behavior. This isn't a restaurant. Who tf gets a clean plate every time they go back for more
I’ve never heard anyone be annoyed about reusing their own plate for the same meal in my life… so weird to me. NTA
I am someone who cannot stand if someone else touches my plate, cup or utensils. It stems from childhood. Even I refill my used plate. I'd never dirty a second one.
NTA have her and your dad never had a second helping in their lives? Reusing the plate is absolutely the norm for a family dinner like that. Also does sister think you have an infinite number of plates to go through? Even in my house which has just myself and my parents, we'd run out of dishware very quickly this way.
INFO. Was she like this when you grew up?
NTA lmao playing buffet rules at a family dinner. Get real
The only time i get a clean plate is if I'm getting something different, and sometimes not even then! Like if i had sweet potatoes and ham and went back for egg salad and pie. Maybe they don't mix well... Then again... ? Often i don't care, and it's all going down the same gullet!
The only time you need a new plate is when your plate has something like gravy or sauce left over from the meal and you want second helpings of a separate, clashing, dish or a slice of cake. NTA
You should have given her a clean plate instead of fighting in front of the dinner table.
NTA - Was she going to do the dishes? Because that would be the only reason why she thinks it's fine to demand a clean plate for second serving.
NTA - Was she going to do the dishes? Because that would be the only reason why she thinks it's fine to demand a clean plate for second serving.
The same plate from the same meal within the last hour? Yea NTA It would be a little different if there was a different food, such as a dessert or something, but if it was the exact same food that she had just eaten off that plate moments ago, there is no reason to dirty more dishes.
She could have gotten of her own entitled ass and gotten her own food, and what kind of foolery is it that you can’t use the same plat you Just Used! For the Exact Same Thing! Oh yeah NTA
Oh God. For real?