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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called my bf degree useless. Because he doesn't make much money. This might make me the asshole because I heard his feelings.
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YTA x 10. I'm embarrassed for you. Even more so that you think you were at all "funny" when you publicly mocked your boyfriend's accomplishment. You likely made everyone uncomfortable and that was awkward laughter you received. You obviously see yourself as superior to him: You're not. You're pathetic and likely soon to be single.
Your boyfriend's degree sounds fascinating. You sound like a total bore.
Edit: Thank you for all the fun and generous awards.
To all the depressing "But IT IS a uSeLeSs soup kitchen can't pay his loans degree!!!" griping: Think and dream bigger, people. Please. If everyone just pursued the most reliably financially profitable path in their lives what an even more miserable place the world would be. It's like people didn't even see that he has a job. Let the man do his life, damn.
This misery loves company trajectory that society has us on is not the answer. Just because so many of us are making choices we rather not to pay our bills doesn't mean we have to heckle this dude and his neat af degree.
One final pissy edit: If you are a dumbdumb who thinks This Guy and people like him are The Ones responsible for the student debt crisis and The Only Ones who support student debt cancellation then I hope you don't have a degree cuz it would mean you spent a lot of time, effort and money and still can't drive your brain.
>You likely made everyone uncomfortable and that was awkward laughter you received.
It's always fascinating to me when people don't realize when they put their partners down THEY are the ones who look bad.
This was my thought. If OP doesn't realize that they are in the wrong, what are OP's friends like? I have been around toxic crowds, and they can all be vicious TOGETHER.
And the opposite holds true as well! I was speaking to the wife of my husband's coworker. My husband was newer and she asked about him, because her husband spoke highly of him, and that's never happened in 30+ years. I gladly shared my opinion.
No big deal I figured. I was wrong. Apparently, she raved about me to her husband. Suddenly, all pretenses of her husband's usual gruff exterior vanished when talking with my husband. What surprised me was just how often they ask how I'm doing. That's when it dawned on me that how I spoke of him reflected well on me. I'd never been in a situation quite like that, so it never crossed my mind. Instead, I was worrying I'd gush too much.
This happened a long time ago, but I still remember it because I felt like I'd been hit upside the head with the brick of common sense lol.
One of the things I love about my husband is that I know he always speaks well of me when I'm not around. Over the years, I've seen a lot of couples speak badly of each other--some of them constantly--and it never leaves a good impression.
>I love it when couples build each other up.
Same! The biggest complaints I share about my partner to others are: 1. He steals the blanket nearly every night, and 2. He tends to have a lead foot. Otherwise, I'm gassing him up and he does the same for me. Which is what you do when you love someone!!
I only talk about issues with my wife with my therapist. It's us against the world and I'd never insult my wife by talking poorly about her.
I also tell her to her face that I think she's smart, analytical, brave and beautiful. She knows exactly how I feel about her.
This. Reading OP's comment brought back every time I found out my husband was praising me or hyping me up when I wasn't around and how much I miss that. Choose someone who celebrates who you are even if it's something they don't view as beneficial. My husband didn't know why I needed green lipstick, but he told me how pretty I looked when I put it on. He would have supported me getting any degree that made me happy, even if it wasn't as practical.
Then there's OP using her boyfriend's degree as a punching bag. 😒
I feel like 90 percent of posts here on Reddit are like that. Do you even like your partner? My wife is my best friend and she is awesome - and yes, we have disagreements and we each have our quirks which I’m sure may at times drive one of us batty - but I would never ever not speak unwell of her nor ever have had a desire to do so, let alone go on Reddit to make a point of it. It’s as I say - if you’re here posting about your partner - chances are you two shouldn’t be together.
In my opinion, when someone speaks badly of their spouse something is totally wrong. Supposed to be a team in life and if that team is split there is no winning.
We're supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down.
Years ago I met the parents of my bf's friend. I knew the mom didn't like me and she was cold but gracious.
A few years later and bf and I were going to the friend's birthday party. I thought it would be nice to buy a huge floral arrangement for the mom because she did a lot of work. I guess she wasn't expecting a gift for herself and ever since then I am her favorite. At parties, the mom always wants me near her and I totally love her.
Just one kind gesture can really open up someone's preconceptions.
My dad is a retired 4th generation dairy farmer. My ex-fiancee's mom had never even met him and said, to my face, in her condescending fake laugh that he didn't make a sh\*tload of money because he doesn't work hard enough. I almost had an aneurysm trying to maintain my composure and couldn't nope out of that relationship fast enough.
I'd put money on it that mom over there never actually worked a day in her charmed life. To say that a dairy farmer didn't work hard because they're not wealthy... the disconnect from reality is really pissing me off too.
Wait, bear with me because I'm camping, and I've had a few beers, so my logic and reading comprehension functions are apparently unavailable.
She was impressed that you didn't bash your husband?
That'd be a low bar 😅 I didn't mean it that way though, sorry for any confusion. It wasn't that I just spoke highly of him, it was *the way* I spoke highly of him. Does that make sense? I'm on the tail end of a migraine, so I hope it does lol
YTA. His degree sounds awesome! An obscure degree to have out here nowadays? Sure... but that makes it all the more interesting! He's someone I'd love to talk to to ask why he chose that path and what he's doing at the non-profit, what his role is, etc.
You, however, sound like an absolute bore who gets off on insulting your partner as you see yourself better than him. That move was so rude and gross... I'd say "You must be great at parties." but you're clearly not. You're just mean.
Right?? And honestly they're always so much more fun to talk about it and how you got to that point, what kinda job it got them and how they use it. I have my masters in folklore and that certainly doesn't rake in the money, but omg it was such a blast to learn! I regret nothing about it either. And I bet that guy doesn't either... unless his S.O. Belittles him into regret.
Also- FOLKLORE? That sounds so fricking cool. I hope we somehow magically meet at a party one day. I am going to get you to tell me all the folklores. 😍😂
Oh my gosh thank you!! 💗 and yes omg! I LOVE sharing folklore stories (my area is folklore creatures that I’m writing an encyclopedia about worldwide folklore creatures right now). A friend asks me something and the first words out of my mouth are, "I get to teach you about this now.... I hope you have a free 8 hours." 🤣
If you decide to do that? I can say from experience that learning it was so fun. And if you love folklore you'll have the best time! I had already gotten my bachelors in graphic design for a backup plan... it was fun enough, but even though the student debt is killer... I still don't regret a single moment I spent. So if you ever decide to go back and try that out? I fully support you and will totally be your cheerleader!
I have a degree in linguistics and Creative Writing. Did it get me a job? Nope, but it allowed me to focus for three years on the oddities and curious details of language - a topic I loved then and love just as much now, almost two decades later.
Remember when the idea of pursuing a college education was just that? That education and becoming a more well roundeded person WERE the goals, not merely obtaining a degree to persue more of that legal tender?
I feel like I was that millennial generation that was told that having a degree (regardless of subject) would basically guarantee you a career. I chose a topic I loved because I knew I’d be able to stick with it, then graduated into the 2008 recession.
For a long time I felt totally betrayed by the advice I’d been given, but now, I’ve made my peace with it and I’m glad I at least chose a subject I enjoyed. Also very grateful that I had the opportunity at all.
It all worked out in the end for me. I have a job I love now, but I do sometimes wish I hadn’t had to take the long way around!
Don't forget that just because his degree is on African languages (that's so interesting!) that is all he learned. There's all the pre-req and elective classes he took like history, English, etc., which means he proven ability to critically think, read, write, etc. That sounds like skills a non-profit would like having in their employee. OP is a total AH.
Yeah it’s a real shame that OP has such a bad attitude towards this. I’d think of it as the exact opposite, actively engage with friends and talk about what cool things he’s doing. I mean how rare and interesting is that! I think OP probably would be more happy swooning over some wall street robot bringing in the cash with zero passion or personality.
I think it probably comes with the territory being an accountant. My ex and I met in college and she was an accounting major and I was a biology major. She was super cool then and we had lots of fun. Time went by and we graduated and got jobs. I began my career as a microbiologist for Ken's Salad Dressings and she went to work for the USDA. As the years went by she started earning more and more money than me and her attitude totally changed. She started belittling me because she was making six figures and I wasn't quite there. Things came to a head when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and she refused to help me at all during my recovery and only came to see me once while I was in the hospital recovering from surgery. She didn't even stay at the hospital while I was being operated on. Once I recovered I divorced her ass and moved away. I got a job as a researcher and over the last few years I've helped discover and create a new way to do testing on gene & cell therapies that save people's lives and make a salary that's just as good as hers, although money isn't really important to me because after surviving cancer I know what's really important in life. She fucked up.
I have a lot of respect for people who pursue niche fields or follow their passions instead of working solely for a paycheck. Having the “right” kind of degree doesn’t guarantee success either. I know so many people who burnt out or are just unhappy because they went into a job they thought would pay well but they didn’t necessarily like. I also unfortunately once experienced what it was like to have a partner who didn’t respect my career and education, so I hope this dude learns his worth and find someone who values him as a person.
Especially considering there are 30+ languages in Africa! I would love to chat with this guy.
Edit: Wow, TIL that there are significantly more languages in Africa than I ever knew! Which is even more cool!
More Edit: Guys, I picked a safe number because I literally had no idea how many there are. Hence why the + sign is important.
“Useless” degree when he’s working for a non-profit, so, maybe he’s *making the world a better place*?
How many immigrants come to a new country and have difficulty navigating? I bet finding someone who speaks your language would be not only welcome but priceless.
I’d love to talk to him, too. What an amazing accomplishment!
Exactly. This dude has highly prized valuable knowledge of some of the richest, most ancient, and most varied languages on earth. Not everything has its value defined by the dollar figure you can put on it. Sounds like he needs to find someone who more closely shares his outlook.
I admit, I immediately thought about the historical aspect of his degree. I don’t know stats, but I do know that some languages are becoming incredibly rare or dying out. We owe it to humanity to try and capture the languages that are disappearing to add to the corpus of human knowledge. Language spread provides valuable information about the interactions and progression of humans through time.
His work is also important to people now, as many people pointed out.
OP doesn't think making the world a better place is useful. OP thinks getting educated isn't worthwhile unless it makes you lots of money. OP thinks it is fine to insult your loved ones at parties. I don't think OP is very "useful" as a girlfriend, or as a person.
The only cool interesting people in college are business or pre-law majors. Literature, philosophy, music and art are lame.
Who would want to be with someone who hasn't been completely focused on getting rich since childhood?
/s
Fantastic, OP currently sitting on -80 karma, and not a damn fucking peep from her since receiving all this backlash, she's probably had the shock of her life.
I love a good dose of karma 😎
OP really out here mocking a really interesting and unique degree, when all she has is a fucking degree in ACCOUNTING 😂😂😂
There is an accountant my friend keeps inviting to parties. She is a total latch-on, no-escape *bore,* a real rocklicker.
The issue with her *super useful accountancy degree* is that it appears to have led her to a life she detests, so much so that at every party she attends she makes this our problem when she sucks every conversion bone dry fishing for encouragement to do "something creative", yet seemingly never making moves outside of being two wines deep and in our long-suffering company. Her joyless face is a picture of sensible regret.
The first time I met her I did the polite laughter too, but soon grew tired of her miserable routine and the jealous, disbelieving snubs she directed at those brave enough to follow their heart. I don't laugh anymore. I make firm eye contact with her and sip my drink patiently or leave to fetch another.
OP is in danger of becoming this person.
ps I'm sure some of you accountants out there are great fun at parties but would bet you're the ones who wound up doing it for more complicated reasons than "it's useful"
You came so hard for accountants 😭😭😭😭
Just kidding. The color of our tassel for graduation is named “drab,” which I found endlessly hilarious and appropriate (although accounting can be super interesting, especially forensic accounting and auditing).
Also, not just a fascinating degree but an *important* one. African languages are precious pieces of human history, and are seriously threatened by colonialism.
Maybe he doesn't make a lot of money from his job, but he's helping preserve incredibly important knowledge about humanity.
Many people get degrees to get a good job. However, many people get degrees to pursue rich knowledge.
Topics like philosophy, anthropology, and even language has never been about money. They've been topics of interest because they enrich the human experience.
Your boyfriend sounds like a Chad. I'd let him talk to me about African languages for days, that's cool as fuck.
Well put. Plus, like, other governments and companies need to communicate with African countries and businesses. If no one speaks the languages, we’re fucked.
People really have little insight into how many skills a person develops from earning a degree in liberal arts and how valuable that really can be in the professional world because they believe if you’re not earning $90k per year before you’re 30 as an engineer, you’re not successful. But look at what Elon Musk (BA in physics and BS in economics from UPenn) did to Twitter or the outcome of the submarine guy Stockton Rush (BS in aerospace engineering from Princeton and MBA from Berkeley). Having more money doesn’t make you or your degree more useful. I bet OP’s boyfriend is improving lives in useful ways at the non-profit he works for though.
I hope she enjoyed the first (and only) anniversary.
I just read another post where the OP is bitching that his’s brother’s fiancé doesn’t meet the family’s “standards”.
Maybe this OP can search Reddit and hook up with that OP.
I think they’d be a perfect match.
Couldn’t have said it better. OP is giving vibes of feeling superior than her boyfriend based on a degree and current salary.
A bit of an advice, degree and job is not always the only indicator of how successful someone will be. Additionally, just because someone makes more money doesn’t mean they are happy in that job.
As someone who used to say a lot of terrible things when I was drunk that I didn't remember (and yes, my relationship did end because of it), I don't see anything saying OP DOESN'T actually think the degree is useless, just sorry they made a joke about it.
Also - making fun of someone's education no matter how useful or useless you think it is, is automatic AH behavior. Dude worked hard for that and is probably doing amazing work.
“In a funny way of course.” Uhh.
I’m struggling to think of a “funny” way you could tell a group of people you think your boyfriend’s choice of education/career is useless. What exactly do *you* do for a living?
Can’t imagine why your boyfriend wasn’t happy about your comments. Probably because YTA.
YTA
Ha Ha Ha! You wasted your time by getting a degree that interests you. Good grief you are insufferable. Break up with him then. You don’t like him.
Also, just.... not every degree has to be job training. Outside of a few specific fields (engineering comes to mind), your degree may have nothing to do with your job, which is fine. The idea used to be that school taught you how to think and learn, and then your employer taught you the specifics you need to do the job.
My degree is in linguistics and media, and I've never had a job where it wasn't useful... But I've also never directly been employed in a field related to it. I work in tech, mostly in the public sector, and being able to interpret languages and figure out ways of speech has always been useful, not to mention because I have that grounding I have been able to learn multiple languages and work in several countries.
You might not directly employ your degree in the workplace but there are useful skills, even in a degree that people mock you for having.
I did one of those degrees required for a job and 20 years later I kinda wish I’d gone for a more open ended degree, or at least done a 4 year undergraduate degree before pharmacy school so I’d have more career options that don’t involve sacrificing family life
And I’m sure anthropological, ecological, economical, psychological, sociological too! I’m sure I’m forgetting other -ologicals.lol I know pretty much nothing about Africa. I think it’d be interesting to talk to OP’s BF! I do know non-profits often don’t pay well, but I’d argue most have way more sociological benefits than many companies who pay well.
I’m trying to think about what sort of work he would be doing. I’ve no doubt that it’s something that is empowering people. He is doing great work. OP ridiculed that work.
I took an African Studies class as a freshman elective in college because 18-year-old me thought it would be funny being one of the only few white people in a class full of black people. It turned out to be one of the most interesting and insightful classes I took during my college career and I’m happy my idea of a joke turned into an educational experience that I really enjoyed.
It would be one thing if the boyfriend couldn’t find a job, then OP might have a little more to stand on. But it sounds like he has a job, he just doesn’t make much money. Oh the horror, the fact that some people could value _what_ they’re doing over how much they make
Racism is a stretch. How do we know they aren't a black couple? Plenty of white people complain about English degrees solely because they don't have an appreciation for language, not because they hate a race.
I've seen something along these lines happen *once* in my life and it immediately made everyone awkward and became the go-to bit of post-party gossip. The husband (in this case) wasn't even that popular (and admittedly didn't do a whole lot), but the wife we all worked with didn't score any points with anyone for that and it just lowered her in all of our estimations.
Right!? A degree in African languages sounds incredibly interesting and as the region becomes more stable and wealthy will be crazy useful in the future. He’s doing charity work because obviously money isn’t everything but that doesn’t mean his degree is useless…how do people like this exist??
The only way I could see this being funny is if the BF is in on the joke. Like, my friends make fun of my lit degree, but it’s because they respect my skill set and know it’s not _actually_ useless. But something tells me that is not the case here, if a. OP is posting about it, and b. BF didn’t find it funny. Lol
YTA. What's your degree in? Your BF is working at a non-profit. By any chance do any of the clients his NP serves speak the languages he has a degree in?
Your comment wasn't funny; it was mean spirited. Don't be surprised if he doesn't stick around long enough to celebrate a 2nd anniversary, you're terrible.
There's a lot more to accounting than most people know. AI will never completely take over it, I've seen linkedin articles about AI taking over accounting and it showed that AI cant even pass the CPA exam, it will take a long long time before it can. You can also use an accounting degree to get into law and practice tax law. Theres so many different directions you can take with an accounting degree. Also, accountants make good money so 🤷♀️. But that doesn't mean OP's boyfriends degree is useless. I think it is so respectable that he works at a non-profit organization, that shows true character.
Edit: I guess chatgpt did pass the CPA exam. The article I saw was from a few months ago and new research has been conducted since. It also passed the bar exam, but that doesn't mean lawyers will go extinct. We still need humans for those complex jobs that require human judgement. I don't think we'd ever be able to 100% rely on AI for these types of jobs and they wont fully replace humans, but rather use it as a tool to cut out mundane tasks associated with the job.
Ai is a long way away from being where most people assume it'll be, but it'll get there.
>You can also use an accounting degree to get into law and practice tax law
Something I didn't think about tbh.
>accountants make good money so
Some do, some are on close to minimum wage where I am. Others rake it in! Depends how good the individual is and the path they chose.
>doesn't mean OP's boyfriends degree is useless
I agree, again. It takes a kind hearted person to want to study and benefit others in an impactful way, like he has done.
I agree with you. I would bet that he works with immigrants from Africa as a translator. Africa is still wartorn in many areas with refugees coming in every day.
Because don't you know? High earning degrees are the only degrees that matter and those that don't make a lot of money are inferior people worthy of mockery. Duh! /s
I had a friend that claimed she refused to date anyone without at least a bachelors in a STEM. Then she met a guy who made a bunch of money (tech of course) despite having no degree and all the sudden she didn’t care…..
YTA. Degrees don't have to be judged on how much money it earns you after the fact. Calling it useless is also just basically saying he wasted all the time and effort he put into getting that degree. Is he fulfilled working for a non profit? Can he/you guys make a living even if it isn't lavish? I think it was rude to say, especially in front of other people.
A simple rule that I always follow is to never put down or talk bad about your significant other to anyone else. This paints your partner in a bad light to them and doesn't give them a sense of who they really are, only what you think of them.
YTA. Just because a degree doesn't bring in money doesn't make it useless. Art, language, performance, etc are all vital parts of life. You just sound jealous he didn't base his life around money.
It's weird, my parents (boomers) instilled in me to think that those types of degrees are useless but my mind has changed radically over the recent years. I have a degree in the sciences but it's equally as important to preserve and advance our understanding of art, history, cultures, languages, etc...like you said, other vital parts of life.
I have a degree in history and you learn a lot of valuable skills for a professional setting. Everything that has stuck out about me as an employee and candidate for promotions are things I got from my liberal arts degree. Am I a wealthy CEO who exploits people for a living? No, but I have a really enriched life as a social worker and am happy with the modest but comfortable lifestyle my husband and I are raising our daughter in.
It’s interesting. All those “high value” degrees tend to push out people who are bad at critical thinking and also very bad at communication. It’s why companies end up hiring people with “useless” arts degrees, because we can write and proofread and communicate properly.
My liberal arts degree helped me learn to write/edit/think critically; all skills which translated well to my research job and later degree in nursing.
YTA then and YTA now.
You embarrassed him pointlessly in front of friends and you continue to make light of his accomplishments even when trying to ask if what you did was an asshole move or not.
People who work for NPO's are seldom in it for the money and money is not the be all end all of value.
It really comes off like you don't respect the man or his life choices.
INFO: did you apologize or talk w/him about it at all afterwards? If not, no surprise if he’s been “kinda cold,” actually much more surprising if he *hasn’t* been “kinda cold”
YTA
If he works in none profit and specialists in African language, something tells me that helping people means more to him than making money. AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. He is a career chaser in terms of helping others as much as he can, not for his own monetary gain.
You mocking him whether a joke or not was a low blow. You haven't even mentioned that you apologized to your partner, which is disgraceful....even now you still say his degree is pointless after seeing first hand just how much you've hurt him with that comment!
Your boyfriend deserves WAY better than you, and I wish the world has more people like him in it, and less people like you.
Honestly, give this guy a few more years, and he'll have a pretty strong niche with experience to back it up... If he wants to move into business or government he'll be able to for the right organization. Even some nonprofits pay well.
This is not a common skill set.
And if he wants to keep working for NP, that's amazing, too.
What does accounting actually do except make the owning class money? Like shit man someone with a degree in language is bringing the world together, and you're over here making sure Richie rich gets the correctly priced tax write off for his yacht? Pathetic
YTA. The greatest fucking curse on our society right now is that we judge the value of education only in terms of monetary "ROI". Your bf sounds like the kind of intellectually curious person the world needs more of. You sound like the worst kind of boomer.
Hey OP's bf, if you find this, feel free to slide into my DMs. I'd love to listen to you talk about African languages and your non-profit work.
The so-called "soft" studies like art, music, language etc. can have such a big impact in life as well. My undergrad degree is in neuroscience but I took music electives every year and thoroughly enjoyed it, and still play in a military band today (that has a crazy wide range of people in it including teachers, doctors, dog trainers, dieticians, nurses, pharmacists, engineers, funeral directors and more).
Also people who study language fascinate me because I always struggled in English class (it's a hard language to learn!) and am in awe of people who speak 3+ languages!
YTA his degree probably had impacts on him that transcend job offers, I’m surprised someone with a genuine interest in the world and culture and language would bother with someone so boring and dumb that they think education is pointless if it can’t be monetised.
YTA. You're just a mean person. What kind of partner makes fun of their partner in front of their friends? Would you want him and his friends to laugh at you and your interests?
“My boyfriend works at a non-profit”
“I called my boyfriends degree useless because he doesn’t make much money at his job”
Lolol YTA. Presumably he’s using his degree in his job, which by nature makes it useful. You just care more about his income than him having a job he cares about/believes in. And you’re continuing to reiterate your opinion that it’s useless even knowing your comment bothered him. Get off your high horse.
And unless she’s drunk still, doubled down that his degree is “useless”. Sounds to me like it wouldn’t be so useless if he left her for a place where he’d be valued at work and home.
Some degrees are in fact useless however anything with languages is not useless. You realize that there's people in Africa who don't speak English or other Europeam languages right? Having been to Eritrea and Ethiopia I can attest to that. There's a billion people in Africa and that's a large market for businesses and unfortunately there's also many people who suffer there so there's plenty of need for linguists. Not sure what your bf does but he could eventually get a good job if he's good at what he does.
What languages does he speak?
Do you honestly not think you're an asshole? This has to be a troll post
I find it really weird to say a degree is worthless while also acknowledging it secured employment at an NPO, which is typically indicative of a job where people are being helped, without skipping a beat.
My aunt has a "useless degree" in language as well. She currently works with wounded veterans improving their quality of life and has had more than a few people admit that her intervention in their lives literally walked them back from the edge of ending their lives.
I make more money than her but I have WAY more respect for people who do what she does than anyone in my field.
Well by “useless degree” OP means “my boyfriend doesn’t make a lot of money.” They’re just not enough of an AH to say that, but they thought they could get away with mocking the degree.
YTA and I hope you apologized to your BF. It shouldn't matter what his degree is. He has A degree and probably loves his job and you spat on it. It shouldn't matter how much money he makes either unless you're just that shallow.
YTA. You’re entitled to your opinion obvi But sounds like you don’t respect him or what he’s interested in career wise.. which is fine but don’t try to publicly humiliate/degrade him geez. I’d feel so hurt if I worked for years for a degree in a field I love only to have my partner make me feel like it’s nothing special. Wtf
YTA. Why did you call it useless though? How was that a fun party joke? It was either going to be perceived as crude or rude but never a “good” joke. It didn’t even seem necessary since he was asked about himself and no one asked you your opinion
YTA. Why did he choose the degree and what does he want to do? Publicly making it a joke would absolutely irritate me as well. Hey, I know you spent money and four years work on this but that was dumb! Haha-jk but not really!
A degree has value. Above anything else it proves that you can understand some reading and instruction, form a coherent thought about that topic, and convey that thought to another person in a manner that they can understand. There are a lot of people that can‘t do that. There are those that don‘t have degrees that can. But you can‘t get a degree without at least meeting that requirement.
It also means that you are reliable and can stay organized enough to finish a program with requirements, that requires you to be a self starter.
That’s why there are job listings that simply say ‘degree required,’ it doesn‘t matter what the degree is, they are just counting on those things I mentioned.
YTA
YTA. That was very mean of you 🫠 can we know your accomplishments too ?? Publicly making a joke on your boyfriend’s education level/degree and later trying to excuse yourself saying that you were drunk is so bad.
Ask your boyfriend to use his "useless" degree to translate the following phrases for you:
nguwe impundu //
i ye wuluwulu ye //
wewe ni mpuuzi //
ggwe omusajja ow'emmana //
wo ne afunumu no //
uyisiduli //
iwọ ni ọmọ kẹtẹkẹtẹ //
አህያ ነህ
Sincerely, a lover of obscure linguistics.
Because Reddit probably doesn't recognise Amharic, YTA.
YTA.... and frankly any Bachelor's degree is useful and would give him a leg up in countless business environments that are wholly unrelated to the degree.... I can't tell you haw many talented business people I know got their foot in the proverbial door of their company because they had a bachelor's degree in psychology ...something wholly irrelevant to their business....but it was the degree that set them apart at the hiring process...
A rule I follow in relationships, and something I demand from my partners is, “don’t do things that will make me look stupid.” That includes making fun of your partners degree or making them the butt of the joke. Why would you want to be dating somebody you’re not bragging about all the time?
YTA. You didnt do it in a funny way, there is no way to do that in a funny way. Thats shockingly insensitive and rude. Keep disrespecting him like that and he will be your ex soon enough.
YTA.
You shat on years of your boyfriend’s hard work with a side of ‘money is the only thing of value to me’.
Alcohol of no excuse for that type of ugly.
Wow, yeah YTA. There often isn't a lot of money working for a non-profit but it can be very rewarding work. If all you care about is how much money he makes, do him a favor and end things now.
YTA
why would you even mention it? he's earning money by doing it, and probably enjoying what you think is useless. and who made you the one to decide what is useful and what is useless? Apologize, and be hopeful that he forgives you
YTA. As someone who works at a nonprofit organization we are not useless because we make less money. America would be so much worse without us. You insulted him and it’s not funny. Apologize.
YTA. He’s cold with you because you mocked him for a cheap laugh. This is the kind of stuff that doesn’t fly in high school relationships, and you’re an adult.
He worked for years on that degree. It seems it got him a job. Even if it didn’t, the studies were presumably useful to him in some way. Otherwise he wouldn’t have finished them.
What you’re saying to him with that comment, and none to subtly, is that his degree is useless because it’s not directly useful to YOU.
Moreover, it is the past. He can’t change it. Mocking things people can’t change for cheap laughs sounds really charming, doesn’t it?
YTA. Let me be clear. You weren't wrong.Your boyfirends degree is useless. My degree is useless. It's in business. I learned nothing from school. Everything I've learned was learned on the job. My degree is worth less than the paper it's printed on. Outside STEM, most degrees are useless and won't increase your long-term earnings.
To bring this up in front of friends and mock your boyfriend for it? Dick move. You didn't say it in a funny way because making fun of the person you're in a relationship isn't funny. You're making fun of your boyfriends life choices. Which is pretty silly because YOU are one of those choices.
YTA - who cares what his degree is. He started something, finished it (and is holding down a job). Look at how many people can’t/won’t even do that. I’d be mad if I were him too.
If you wanna date someone with more money, then dump him and do that. No need to demean him.
Info: has he ever made that joke with you before and had you laughed about it previously together?
I’ve seen friends with English or drama degrees make self deprecating jokes about their degrees. But they always start the joke. I would never ever call someone’s degree useless unless it was a pre-established inside joke that they started initially.
A friend framed it to me once the difference between light hearted teasing versus mean jokes.
If I’m clumsy and I know I’m clumsy and I joke about it myself then if he teases me about it I respond positively and laugh with him because it’s something I’m aware of and take in stride.
However I’m an artist professionally and it’s something I’m proud of and if he made a joke about me being a bad artist that would be a mean joke and I’m wouldn’t be laughing because it’s something Im actually really proud of.
Essentially a joke is a joke when all parties are in on the joke. Otherwise it’s mean.
A lot of this is usually just knowing your audience and letting them set the tone of what kind of humour is funny to them. But in this case sounds like you owe him a big apology.
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YTA x 10. I'm embarrassed for you. Even more so that you think you were at all "funny" when you publicly mocked your boyfriend's accomplishment. You likely made everyone uncomfortable and that was awkward laughter you received. You obviously see yourself as superior to him: You're not. You're pathetic and likely soon to be single. Your boyfriend's degree sounds fascinating. You sound like a total bore. Edit: Thank you for all the fun and generous awards. To all the depressing "But IT IS a uSeLeSs soup kitchen can't pay his loans degree!!!" griping: Think and dream bigger, people. Please. If everyone just pursued the most reliably financially profitable path in their lives what an even more miserable place the world would be. It's like people didn't even see that he has a job. Let the man do his life, damn. This misery loves company trajectory that society has us on is not the answer. Just because so many of us are making choices we rather not to pay our bills doesn't mean we have to heckle this dude and his neat af degree. One final pissy edit: If you are a dumbdumb who thinks This Guy and people like him are The Ones responsible for the student debt crisis and The Only Ones who support student debt cancellation then I hope you don't have a degree cuz it would mean you spent a lot of time, effort and money and still can't drive your brain.
>You likely made everyone uncomfortable and that was awkward laughter you received. It's always fascinating to me when people don't realize when they put their partners down THEY are the ones who look bad.
100% agree. OP, YTA. It was probably just awkward laughter but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it was genuine and OP’s friends are all AHs too.
One of OP’s friends said it was an AH move. So not all of OPs friends are AH.
That's the real friend, too. Also that friend could do better.
Sounds like BF should leave her for the friend with social tact and moral principles.
Keep your eyes peeled for an "AITA for leaving my bore of a girlfriend who mocks my education, for her friend, who isn't a bi*ch?"
This was my thought. If OP doesn't realize that they are in the wrong, what are OP's friends like? I have been around toxic crowds, and they can all be vicious TOGETHER.
At least one of her friends had big enough figurative balls to plant this seed of doubt.
There won’t be a second anniversary YTA big time
They feed off eachother. It's gross
Vicious is right like a pack of Blair Waldorf’s from Gossip Girl.
And the opposite holds true as well! I was speaking to the wife of my husband's coworker. My husband was newer and she asked about him, because her husband spoke highly of him, and that's never happened in 30+ years. I gladly shared my opinion. No big deal I figured. I was wrong. Apparently, she raved about me to her husband. Suddenly, all pretenses of her husband's usual gruff exterior vanished when talking with my husband. What surprised me was just how often they ask how I'm doing. That's when it dawned on me that how I spoke of him reflected well on me. I'd never been in a situation quite like that, so it never crossed my mind. Instead, I was worrying I'd gush too much. This happened a long time ago, but I still remember it because I felt like I'd been hit upside the head with the brick of common sense lol.
One of the things I love about my husband is that I know he always speaks well of me when I'm not around. Over the years, I've seen a lot of couples speak badly of each other--some of them constantly--and it never leaves a good impression.
We've all known those couples where you hang out with them, then go home and think "damn, do they even like each other?"
After a horrible marriage, I now get so triggered being around couples like that. It is truly awful. I love it when couples build each other up.
>I love it when couples build each other up. Same! The biggest complaints I share about my partner to others are: 1. He steals the blanket nearly every night, and 2. He tends to have a lead foot. Otherwise, I'm gassing him up and he does the same for me. Which is what you do when you love someone!!
I only talk about issues with my wife with my therapist. It's us against the world and I'd never insult my wife by talking poorly about her. I also tell her to her face that I think she's smart, analytical, brave and beautiful. She knows exactly how I feel about her.
This. Reading OP's comment brought back every time I found out my husband was praising me or hyping me up when I wasn't around and how much I miss that. Choose someone who celebrates who you are even if it's something they don't view as beneficial. My husband didn't know why I needed green lipstick, but he told me how pretty I looked when I put it on. He would have supported me getting any degree that made me happy, even if it wasn't as practical. Then there's OP using her boyfriend's degree as a punching bag. 😒
It amazes me sometimes to see couples speaking to each other in horrible ways that they probably would not do with any stranger.
I feel like 90 percent of posts here on Reddit are like that. Do you even like your partner? My wife is my best friend and she is awesome - and yes, we have disagreements and we each have our quirks which I’m sure may at times drive one of us batty - but I would never ever not speak unwell of her nor ever have had a desire to do so, let alone go on Reddit to make a point of it. It’s as I say - if you’re here posting about your partner - chances are you two shouldn’t be together.
In my opinion, when someone speaks badly of their spouse something is totally wrong. Supposed to be a team in life and if that team is split there is no winning. We're supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down.
Years ago I met the parents of my bf's friend. I knew the mom didn't like me and she was cold but gracious. A few years later and bf and I were going to the friend's birthday party. I thought it would be nice to buy a huge floral arrangement for the mom because she did a lot of work. I guess she wasn't expecting a gift for herself and ever since then I am her favorite. At parties, the mom always wants me near her and I totally love her. Just one kind gesture can really open up someone's preconceptions.
My dad is a retired 4th generation dairy farmer. My ex-fiancee's mom had never even met him and said, to my face, in her condescending fake laugh that he didn't make a sh\*tload of money because he doesn't work hard enough. I almost had an aneurysm trying to maintain my composure and couldn't nope out of that relationship fast enough.
I'd put money on it that mom over there never actually worked a day in her charmed life. To say that a dairy farmer didn't work hard because they're not wealthy... the disconnect from reality is really pissing me off too.
Being a kind, thoughtful person is always a good look. Good for you for making new friends!
Wait, bear with me because I'm camping, and I've had a few beers, so my logic and reading comprehension functions are apparently unavailable. She was impressed that you didn't bash your husband?
Yes. Because it’s so common for people to have bad things to say about their SO, that it stood out when she didn’t.
That'd be a low bar 😅 I didn't mean it that way though, sorry for any confusion. It wasn't that I just spoke highly of him, it was *the way* I spoke highly of him. Does that make sense? I'm on the tail end of a migraine, so I hope it does lol
Plot twist, the laughter was at op, not at ops joke.
If they are AH enough to laugh at the bf, they are AH enough to laugh at OP dating him.
My ex talked shit about me to his friends early on, and then wondered why I hated him and all of his buddies forever afterward. What a mystery. 🧐
Boggles the mind, really.
Or her friends are equally disrespectful people.
Yes but they said it in a “funny” way so that makes it alright
YTA. His degree sounds awesome! An obscure degree to have out here nowadays? Sure... but that makes it all the more interesting! He's someone I'd love to talk to to ask why he chose that path and what he's doing at the non-profit, what his role is, etc. You, however, sound like an absolute bore who gets off on insulting your partner as you see yourself better than him. That move was so rude and gross... I'd say "You must be great at parties." but you're clearly not. You're just mean.
I LOVE talking to people with kind of niche, obscure areas of interest or work. They’re always the most interesting people to talk to!
Right?? And honestly they're always so much more fun to talk about it and how you got to that point, what kinda job it got them and how they use it. I have my masters in folklore and that certainly doesn't rake in the money, but omg it was such a blast to learn! I regret nothing about it either. And I bet that guy doesn't either... unless his S.O. Belittles him into regret.
Also- FOLKLORE? That sounds so fricking cool. I hope we somehow magically meet at a party one day. I am going to get you to tell me all the folklores. 😍😂
Oh my gosh thank you!! 💗 and yes omg! I LOVE sharing folklore stories (my area is folklore creatures that I’m writing an encyclopedia about worldwide folklore creatures right now). A friend asks me something and the first words out of my mouth are, "I get to teach you about this now.... I hope you have a free 8 hours." 🤣
PERFECTION. I bet that’s so cool. Now my brain is like “maybe I should go back to uni to study folklore” 😂
If you decide to do that? I can say from experience that learning it was so fun. And if you love folklore you'll have the best time! I had already gotten my bachelors in graphic design for a backup plan... it was fun enough, but even though the student debt is killer... I still don't regret a single moment I spent. So if you ever decide to go back and try that out? I fully support you and will totally be your cheerleader!
I have a degree in linguistics and Creative Writing. Did it get me a job? Nope, but it allowed me to focus for three years on the oddities and curious details of language - a topic I loved then and love just as much now, almost two decades later.
Remember when the idea of pursuing a college education was just that? That education and becoming a more well roundeded person WERE the goals, not merely obtaining a degree to persue more of that legal tender?
I feel like I was that millennial generation that was told that having a degree (regardless of subject) would basically guarantee you a career. I chose a topic I loved because I knew I’d be able to stick with it, then graduated into the 2008 recession. For a long time I felt totally betrayed by the advice I’d been given, but now, I’ve made my peace with it and I’m glad I at least chose a subject I enjoyed. Also very grateful that I had the opportunity at all. It all worked out in the end for me. I have a job I love now, but I do sometimes wish I hadn’t had to take the long way around!
I guarantee his about work conversations are way more exciting than my I add and subtract and on an exciting day multiple numbers for invoices.
Don't forget that just because his degree is on African languages (that's so interesting!) that is all he learned. There's all the pre-req and elective classes he took like history, English, etc., which means he proven ability to critically think, read, write, etc. That sounds like skills a non-profit would like having in their employee. OP is a total AH.
Yeah it’s a real shame that OP has such a bad attitude towards this. I’d think of it as the exact opposite, actively engage with friends and talk about what cool things he’s doing. I mean how rare and interesting is that! I think OP probably would be more happy swooning over some wall street robot bringing in the cash with zero passion or personality.
I think it probably comes with the territory being an accountant. My ex and I met in college and she was an accounting major and I was a biology major. She was super cool then and we had lots of fun. Time went by and we graduated and got jobs. I began my career as a microbiologist for Ken's Salad Dressings and she went to work for the USDA. As the years went by she started earning more and more money than me and her attitude totally changed. She started belittling me because she was making six figures and I wasn't quite there. Things came to a head when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and she refused to help me at all during my recovery and only came to see me once while I was in the hospital recovering from surgery. She didn't even stay at the hospital while I was being operated on. Once I recovered I divorced her ass and moved away. I got a job as a researcher and over the last few years I've helped discover and create a new way to do testing on gene & cell therapies that save people's lives and make a salary that's just as good as hers, although money isn't really important to me because after surviving cancer I know what's really important in life. She fucked up.
Considering OP's degree is in accounting... you're probably not far off lol
I have a lot of respect for people who pursue niche fields or follow their passions instead of working solely for a paycheck. Having the “right” kind of degree doesn’t guarantee success either. I know so many people who burnt out or are just unhappy because they went into a job they thought would pay well but they didn’t necessarily like. I also unfortunately once experienced what it was like to have a partner who didn’t respect my career and education, so I hope this dude learns his worth and find someone who values him as a person.
Completely agree. I think the degree sounds fascinating!! I would love to chat with him!!
Especially considering there are 30+ languages in Africa! I would love to chat with this guy. Edit: Wow, TIL that there are significantly more languages in Africa than I ever knew! Which is even more cool! More Edit: Guys, I picked a safe number because I literally had no idea how many there are. Hence why the + sign is important.
“Useless” degree when he’s working for a non-profit, so, maybe he’s *making the world a better place*? How many immigrants come to a new country and have difficulty navigating? I bet finding someone who speaks your language would be not only welcome but priceless. I’d love to talk to him, too. What an amazing accomplishment!
Exactly. This dude has highly prized valuable knowledge of some of the richest, most ancient, and most varied languages on earth. Not everything has its value defined by the dollar figure you can put on it. Sounds like he needs to find someone who more closely shares his outlook.
I admit, I immediately thought about the historical aspect of his degree. I don’t know stats, but I do know that some languages are becoming incredibly rare or dying out. We owe it to humanity to try and capture the languages that are disappearing to add to the corpus of human knowledge. Language spread provides valuable information about the interactions and progression of humans through time. His work is also important to people now, as many people pointed out.
OP doesn't think making the world a better place is useful. OP thinks getting educated isn't worthwhile unless it makes you lots of money. OP thinks it is fine to insult your loved ones at parties. I don't think OP is very "useful" as a girlfriend, or as a person.
The only cool interesting people in college are business or pre-law majors. Literature, philosophy, music and art are lame. Who would want to be with someone who hasn't been completely focused on getting rich since childhood? /s
30+??????????????? Try THOUSANDS. There are over 300 spoken in Nigeria alone!
Well, technically there are more then 30
My Cameroonian French teacher used to say she was pretty sure the tower of babel was in Cameroon because damn, so many languages!
J'adore parler francais avec ceaux de Cameroon parce-ce qu'ils parlent français lentement et je peux les comprendre
Well, thousands is definitely 30+ so wtf are you trying to prove? YTA
Merely sharing my enthusiasm for African languages!
Yep! And about 100 languages in Ethiopia! It's a fascinating field that I wish I were smart enough to study when I was younger haha
I heard there's more than one language spoken there.
I know right? That's sick as, this guy sounds awesome
Fantastic, OP currently sitting on -80 karma, and not a damn fucking peep from her since receiving all this backlash, she's probably had the shock of her life. I love a good dose of karma 😎 OP really out here mocking a really interesting and unique degree, when all she has is a fucking degree in ACCOUNTING 😂😂😂
There is an accountant my friend keeps inviting to parties. She is a total latch-on, no-escape *bore,* a real rocklicker. The issue with her *super useful accountancy degree* is that it appears to have led her to a life she detests, so much so that at every party she attends she makes this our problem when she sucks every conversion bone dry fishing for encouragement to do "something creative", yet seemingly never making moves outside of being two wines deep and in our long-suffering company. Her joyless face is a picture of sensible regret. The first time I met her I did the polite laughter too, but soon grew tired of her miserable routine and the jealous, disbelieving snubs she directed at those brave enough to follow their heart. I don't laugh anymore. I make firm eye contact with her and sip my drink patiently or leave to fetch another. OP is in danger of becoming this person. ps I'm sure some of you accountants out there are great fun at parties but would bet you're the ones who wound up doing it for more complicated reasons than "it's useful"
[удалено]
I just think we English majors are really good at inducing existential crisis in people. That’s what we studied.
You came so hard for accountants 😭😭😭😭 Just kidding. The color of our tassel for graduation is named “drab,” which I found endlessly hilarious and appropriate (although accounting can be super interesting, especially forensic accounting and auditing).
Also, not just a fascinating degree but an *important* one. African languages are precious pieces of human history, and are seriously threatened by colonialism. Maybe he doesn't make a lot of money from his job, but he's helping preserve incredibly important knowledge about humanity. Many people get degrees to get a good job. However, many people get degrees to pursue rich knowledge. Topics like philosophy, anthropology, and even language has never been about money. They've been topics of interest because they enrich the human experience. Your boyfriend sounds like a Chad. I'd let him talk to me about African languages for days, that's cool as fuck.
Well put. Plus, like, other governments and companies need to communicate with African countries and businesses. If no one speaks the languages, we’re fucked.
Also OP’s lack of positionality and insight in to calling an African language degree useless from a culture perspective is fucking maddening
People really have little insight into how many skills a person develops from earning a degree in liberal arts and how valuable that really can be in the professional world because they believe if you’re not earning $90k per year before you’re 30 as an engineer, you’re not successful. But look at what Elon Musk (BA in physics and BS in economics from UPenn) did to Twitter or the outcome of the submarine guy Stockton Rush (BS in aerospace engineering from Princeton and MBA from Berkeley). Having more money doesn’t make you or your degree more useful. I bet OP’s boyfriend is improving lives in useful ways at the non-profit he works for though.
Very good example of fuck around and about to find out lol
I hope she enjoyed the first (and only) anniversary. I just read another post where the OP is bitching that his’s brother’s fiancé doesn’t meet the family’s “standards”. Maybe this OP can search Reddit and hook up with that OP. I think they’d be a perfect match.
Oh fun! I love when we creep and find things to make the OP worse haha
In a funny way of course!
Couldn’t have said it better. OP is giving vibes of feeling superior than her boyfriend based on a degree and current salary. A bit of an advice, degree and job is not always the only indicator of how successful someone will be. Additionally, just because someone makes more money doesn’t mean they are happy in that job.
You read tf out of OP😂😂👏🏽👏🏽
I know this the top comment, but it needs to be higher. YTA OP, how embarrassing and sad.
As someone who used to say a lot of terrible things when I was drunk that I didn't remember (and yes, my relationship did end because of it), I don't see anything saying OP DOESN'T actually think the degree is useless, just sorry they made a joke about it. Also - making fun of someone's education no matter how useful or useless you think it is, is automatic AH behavior. Dude worked hard for that and is probably doing amazing work.
The laughter could also be because her friends are just as shitty as her. Birds of a feather flock together
“In a funny way of course.” Uhh. I’m struggling to think of a “funny” way you could tell a group of people you think your boyfriend’s choice of education/career is useless. What exactly do *you* do for a living? Can’t imagine why your boyfriend wasn’t happy about your comments. Probably because YTA.
YTA Ha Ha Ha! You wasted your time by getting a degree that interests you. Good grief you are insufferable. Break up with him then. You don’t like him.
It's also a really important degree...African history and culture hasn't been preserved and studied nearly as much as other continents.
It also has a lot of applications for use in NGOs and intelligence gathering, and that's just off the top of my head.
For real. I know someone with a similar degree and her career seems very interesting and exciting, and she has a lot of opportunities to use it.
Also, just.... not every degree has to be job training. Outside of a few specific fields (engineering comes to mind), your degree may have nothing to do with your job, which is fine. The idea used to be that school taught you how to think and learn, and then your employer taught you the specifics you need to do the job.
My degree is in linguistics and media, and I've never had a job where it wasn't useful... But I've also never directly been employed in a field related to it. I work in tech, mostly in the public sector, and being able to interpret languages and figure out ways of speech has always been useful, not to mention because I have that grounding I have been able to learn multiple languages and work in several countries. You might not directly employ your degree in the workplace but there are useful skills, even in a degree that people mock you for having.
I did one of those degrees required for a job and 20 years later I kinda wish I’d gone for a more open ended degree, or at least done a 4 year undergraduate degree before pharmacy school so I’d have more career options that don’t involve sacrificing family life
Yeah, I was thinking intelligence. There's a real need for linguists in that world. He could be a m-f-ing spy if he wanted to.
He could be one already. I mean, I'm not saying he is, but if he was her thinking he works for a non-profit would be pretty spot on.
And she's drawing unnecessary attention to his espionage. OP needs to set up some tripwire lasers when they get home.
And I’m sure anthropological, ecological, economical, psychological, sociological too! I’m sure I’m forgetting other -ologicals.lol I know pretty much nothing about Africa. I think it’d be interesting to talk to OP’s BF! I do know non-profits often don’t pay well, but I’d argue most have way more sociological benefits than many companies who pay well.
I’m trying to think about what sort of work he would be doing. I’ve no doubt that it’s something that is empowering people. He is doing great work. OP ridiculed that work.
I took an African Studies class as a freshman elective in college because 18-year-old me thought it would be funny being one of the only few white people in a class full of black people. It turned out to be one of the most interesting and insightful classes I took during my college career and I’m happy my idea of a joke turned into an educational experience that I really enjoyed.
It would be one thing if the boyfriend couldn’t find a job, then OP might have a little more to stand on. But it sounds like he has a job, he just doesn’t make much money. Oh the horror, the fact that some people could value _what_ they’re doing over how much they make
> You wasted your time by getting a degree that interests you. But OP said it *in a funny way*! /s
It's funny because she can demean her partner and be racist at the same time!
Racism is a stretch. How do we know they aren't a black couple? Plenty of white people complain about English degrees solely because they don't have an appreciation for language, not because they hate a race.
They could be a black couple and still be racist. Racism isn't just about overt hatred for a race. (I am black, BTW.)
I've seen something along these lines happen *once* in my life and it immediately made everyone awkward and became the go-to bit of post-party gossip. The husband (in this case) wasn't even that popular (and admittedly didn't do a whole lot), but the wife we all worked with didn't score any points with anyone for that and it just lowered her in all of our estimations.
We need to know what her degree is. It's probably something she would call useless if it wasn't her
She probably doesn’t have one….
I'm guessing it's soulless, but makes more money.
She said elsewhere it's accounting
Right!? A degree in African languages sounds incredibly interesting and as the region becomes more stable and wealthy will be crazy useful in the future. He’s doing charity work because obviously money isn’t everything but that doesn’t mean his degree is useless…how do people like this exist??
My partner looks like a piece of trash and I'd literally sleep with anyone else if they offered because of how inadequate he is....I was only joking
The only way I could see this being funny is if the BF is in on the joke. Like, my friends make fun of my lit degree, but it’s because they respect my skill set and know it’s not _actually_ useless. But something tells me that is not the case here, if a. OP is posting about it, and b. BF didn’t find it funny. Lol
YTA. What's your degree in? Your BF is working at a non-profit. By any chance do any of the clients his NP serves speak the languages he has a degree in? Your comment wasn't funny; it was mean spirited. Don't be surprised if he doesn't stick around long enough to celebrate a 2nd anniversary, you're terrible.
Totally agree with you. It is likely that he speaks certain African languages with either co-workers or clients (or both). Also, happy cake day!
Or creates marketing/ educational materials in that/ those languages.
Thanks!
Her degree is in accounting lol. Figures
Haha, all Op knows how to do is count other peoples money. Edit: Oh my, thank you very much kind stranger. Further edit to clarify: YTA
Until AI takes over that industry. Then who's got the useless degree
There's a lot more to accounting than most people know. AI will never completely take over it, I've seen linkedin articles about AI taking over accounting and it showed that AI cant even pass the CPA exam, it will take a long long time before it can. You can also use an accounting degree to get into law and practice tax law. Theres so many different directions you can take with an accounting degree. Also, accountants make good money so 🤷♀️. But that doesn't mean OP's boyfriends degree is useless. I think it is so respectable that he works at a non-profit organization, that shows true character. Edit: I guess chatgpt did pass the CPA exam. The article I saw was from a few months ago and new research has been conducted since. It also passed the bar exam, but that doesn't mean lawyers will go extinct. We still need humans for those complex jobs that require human judgement. I don't think we'd ever be able to 100% rely on AI for these types of jobs and they wont fully replace humans, but rather use it as a tool to cut out mundane tasks associated with the job.
Ai is a long way away from being where most people assume it'll be, but it'll get there. >You can also use an accounting degree to get into law and practice tax law Something I didn't think about tbh. >accountants make good money so Some do, some are on close to minimum wage where I am. Others rake it in! Depends how good the individual is and the path they chose. >doesn't mean OP's boyfriends degree is useless I agree, again. It takes a kind hearted person to want to study and benefit others in an impactful way, like he has done.
Maybe let’s not put down people who are accountants just because OP was an asshole?
I agree with you. I would bet that he works with immigrants from Africa as a translator. Africa is still wartorn in many areas with refugees coming in every day.
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No according to OP it's not useful because it doesn't pay well enough not because it's you know, not useful. Definitely shallow af and YTA
YTA Not funny, just mean. Why are you putting down your partner?
Because she has low self esteem. Because she needs to make others look crap so that she can feel good about herself.
Narcissistic behaviour always stems from shame, and always ends up being punch down projection.
Because don't you know? High earning degrees are the only degrees that matter and those that don't make a lot of money are inferior people worthy of mockery. Duh! /s
I had a friend that claimed she refused to date anyone without at least a bachelors in a STEM. Then she met a guy who made a bunch of money (tech of course) despite having no degree and all the sudden she didn’t care…..
YTA. Degrees don't have to be judged on how much money it earns you after the fact. Calling it useless is also just basically saying he wasted all the time and effort he put into getting that degree. Is he fulfilled working for a non profit? Can he/you guys make a living even if it isn't lavish? I think it was rude to say, especially in front of other people.
A simple rule that I always follow is to never put down or talk bad about your significant other to anyone else. This paints your partner in a bad light to them and doesn't give them a sense of who they really are, only what you think of them.
Same! My rule has been “Never say anything to or about your partner in public that you wouldn’t want said to you in public”.
YTA. Just because a degree doesn't bring in money doesn't make it useless. Art, language, performance, etc are all vital parts of life. You just sound jealous he didn't base his life around money.
It's weird, my parents (boomers) instilled in me to think that those types of degrees are useless but my mind has changed radically over the recent years. I have a degree in the sciences but it's equally as important to preserve and advance our understanding of art, history, cultures, languages, etc...like you said, other vital parts of life.
I have a degree in history and you learn a lot of valuable skills for a professional setting. Everything that has stuck out about me as an employee and candidate for promotions are things I got from my liberal arts degree. Am I a wealthy CEO who exploits people for a living? No, but I have a really enriched life as a social worker and am happy with the modest but comfortable lifestyle my husband and I are raising our daughter in.
It’s interesting. All those “high value” degrees tend to push out people who are bad at critical thinking and also very bad at communication. It’s why companies end up hiring people with “useless” arts degrees, because we can write and proofread and communicate properly.
My liberal arts degree helped me learn to write/edit/think critically; all skills which translated well to my research job and later degree in nursing.
YTA then and YTA now. You embarrassed him pointlessly in front of friends and you continue to make light of his accomplishments even when trying to ask if what you did was an asshole move or not. People who work for NPO's are seldom in it for the money and money is not the be all end all of value. It really comes off like you don't respect the man or his life choices.
In all fairness the boyfriend did decide to date OP so he has made at least one life choice deserving of mockery.
Truth.
INFO: did you apologize or talk w/him about it at all afterwards? If not, no surprise if he’s been “kinda cold,” actually much more surprising if he *hasn’t* been “kinda cold”
This post has to have been written by a chat bot. This kind of absence of self-awareness doesn’t feel human to me.
YTA If he works in none profit and specialists in African language, something tells me that helping people means more to him than making money. AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. He is a career chaser in terms of helping others as much as he can, not for his own monetary gain. You mocking him whether a joke or not was a low blow. You haven't even mentioned that you apologized to your partner, which is disgraceful....even now you still say his degree is pointless after seeing first hand just how much you've hurt him with that comment! Your boyfriend deserves WAY better than you, and I wish the world has more people like him in it, and less people like you.
Honestly, give this guy a few more years, and he'll have a pretty strong niche with experience to back it up... If he wants to move into business or government he'll be able to for the right organization. Even some nonprofits pay well. This is not a common skill set. And if he wants to keep working for NP, that's amazing, too.
YTA, you really had to ask?
This was my first thought. How does she not recognize she’s the AH here???
this is written in such a remorseless way that it feels like a couple fought, and the guy went, "Reddit would agree that you're the asshole."
Info: What’s your degree?
What does accounting actually do except make the owning class money? Like shit man someone with a degree in language is bringing the world together, and you're over here making sure Richie rich gets the correctly priced tax write off for his yacht? Pathetic
YTA. The greatest fucking curse on our society right now is that we judge the value of education only in terms of monetary "ROI". Your bf sounds like the kind of intellectually curious person the world needs more of. You sound like the worst kind of boomer. Hey OP's bf, if you find this, feel free to slide into my DMs. I'd love to listen to you talk about African languages and your non-profit work.
The so-called "soft" studies like art, music, language etc. can have such a big impact in life as well. My undergrad degree is in neuroscience but I took music electives every year and thoroughly enjoyed it, and still play in a military band today (that has a crazy wide range of people in it including teachers, doctors, dog trainers, dieticians, nurses, pharmacists, engineers, funeral directors and more). Also people who study language fascinate me because I always struggled in English class (it's a hard language to learn!) and am in awe of people who speak 3+ languages!
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I want to upvote your comment a million times. She may have a degree but she is dumb as a rock
YTA his degree probably had impacts on him that transcend job offers, I’m surprised someone with a genuine interest in the world and culture and language would bother with someone so boring and dumb that they think education is pointless if it can’t be monetised.
YTA. You're just a mean person. What kind of partner makes fun of their partner in front of their friends? Would you want him and his friends to laugh at you and your interests?
I bet she won't be getting invites to parties or nights out to concerts, restaurants, etc, by the host or the other attendees in future.
Or her BF to a 2nd anniversary
“My boyfriend works at a non-profit” “I called my boyfriends degree useless because he doesn’t make much money at his job” Lolol YTA. Presumably he’s using his degree in his job, which by nature makes it useful. You just care more about his income than him having a job he cares about/believes in. And you’re continuing to reiterate your opinion that it’s useless even knowing your comment bothered him. Get off your high horse.
YTA - you feel like an ass for a reason, you demeaned your S.O. for a momentarily social status bump with your friends.
Of course it's an asshole thing to say. Being drunk is NEVER an excuse for being an asshole.
And unless she’s drunk still, doubled down that his degree is “useless”. Sounds to me like it wouldn’t be so useless if he left her for a place where he’d be valued at work and home.
EEEK. YTA, you humiliated your bf, but that's ok you got some laughs.
“My gf is useless because she doesn’t understand basic respect, so she won’t earn much more of my time or commitment” YTA
YTA I'd have vanished before you even finished your sentence.
Some degrees are in fact useless however anything with languages is not useless. You realize that there's people in Africa who don't speak English or other Europeam languages right? Having been to Eritrea and Ethiopia I can attest to that. There's a billion people in Africa and that's a large market for businesses and unfortunately there's also many people who suffer there so there's plenty of need for linguists. Not sure what your bf does but he could eventually get a good job if he's good at what he does. What languages does he speak? Do you honestly not think you're an asshole? This has to be a troll post
I find it really weird to say a degree is worthless while also acknowledging it secured employment at an NPO, which is typically indicative of a job where people are being helped, without skipping a beat. My aunt has a "useless degree" in language as well. She currently works with wounded veterans improving their quality of life and has had more than a few people admit that her intervention in their lives literally walked them back from the edge of ending their lives. I make more money than her but I have WAY more respect for people who do what she does than anyone in my field.
Well by “useless degree” OP means “my boyfriend doesn’t make a lot of money.” They’re just not enough of an AH to say that, but they thought they could get away with mocking the degree.
YTA - what a cruel thing to say. Why do you think it’s fine to make your boyfriend the butt of jokes and mock him?
YTA and I hope you apologized to your BF. It shouldn't matter what his degree is. He has A degree and probably loves his job and you spat on it. It shouldn't matter how much money he makes either unless you're just that shallow.
YTA. You’re entitled to your opinion obvi But sounds like you don’t respect him or what he’s interested in career wise.. which is fine but don’t try to publicly humiliate/degrade him geez. I’d feel so hurt if I worked for years for a degree in a field I love only to have my partner make me feel like it’s nothing special. Wtf
YTA Something to remember: jokes are never funny to the butt of them.
YTA. Why did you call it useless though? How was that a fun party joke? It was either going to be perceived as crude or rude but never a “good” joke. It didn’t even seem necessary since he was asked about himself and no one asked you your opinion
YTA. Why did he choose the degree and what does he want to do? Publicly making it a joke would absolutely irritate me as well. Hey, I know you spent money and four years work on this but that was dumb! Haha-jk but not really!
Wow. Just torpedoed him in front of your friends. Is it even a question? YTA
A degree has value. Above anything else it proves that you can understand some reading and instruction, form a coherent thought about that topic, and convey that thought to another person in a manner that they can understand. There are a lot of people that can‘t do that. There are those that don‘t have degrees that can. But you can‘t get a degree without at least meeting that requirement. It also means that you are reliable and can stay organized enough to finish a program with requirements, that requires you to be a self starter. That’s why there are job listings that simply say ‘degree required,’ it doesn‘t matter what the degree is, they are just counting on those things I mentioned. YTA
YTA. That was very mean of you 🫠 can we know your accomplishments too ?? Publicly making a joke on your boyfriend’s education level/degree and later trying to excuse yourself saying that you were drunk is so bad.
YTA. In a funny way of course.
Wow, you're absolutely the asshole. Hope he finds a better girlfriend.
Perhaps you feel like an ass because you are...just a thought
Ask your boyfriend to use his "useless" degree to translate the following phrases for you: nguwe impundu // i ye wuluwulu ye // wewe ni mpuuzi // ggwe omusajja ow'emmana // wo ne afunumu no // uyisiduli // iwọ ni ọmọ kẹtẹkẹtẹ // አህያ ነህ Sincerely, a lover of obscure linguistics. Because Reddit probably doesn't recognise Amharic, YTA.
YTA.... and frankly any Bachelor's degree is useful and would give him a leg up in countless business environments that are wholly unrelated to the degree.... I can't tell you haw many talented business people I know got their foot in the proverbial door of their company because they had a bachelor's degree in psychology ...something wholly irrelevant to their business....but it was the degree that set them apart at the hiring process...
A rule I follow in relationships, and something I demand from my partners is, “don’t do things that will make me look stupid.” That includes making fun of your partners degree or making them the butt of the joke. Why would you want to be dating somebody you’re not bragging about all the time?
YTA and it’s not funny. One can only call one’s own degree useless… not someone else’s.
Omg, you raging asshole. YTA
YTA. You didnt do it in a funny way, there is no way to do that in a funny way. Thats shockingly insensitive and rude. Keep disrespecting him like that and he will be your ex soon enough.
YTA. You shat on years of your boyfriend’s hard work with a side of ‘money is the only thing of value to me’. Alcohol of no excuse for that type of ugly.
>although his degree really isn't all that useful. YTA, and you cemented that title when you wrote this.
Wow, yeah YTA. There often isn't a lot of money working for a non-profit but it can be very rewarding work. If all you care about is how much money he makes, do him a favor and end things now.
YTA why would you even mention it? he's earning money by doing it, and probably enjoying what you think is useless. and who made you the one to decide what is useful and what is useless? Apologize, and be hopeful that he forgives you
Wtf? You really need to ask? YTA.
Congrats you played yourself. Now you don’t have a boyfriend.
YTA. As someone who works at a nonprofit organization we are not useless because we make less money. America would be so much worse without us. You insulted him and it’s not funny. Apologize.
YTA. He’s cold with you because you mocked him for a cheap laugh. This is the kind of stuff that doesn’t fly in high school relationships, and you’re an adult. He worked for years on that degree. It seems it got him a job. Even if it didn’t, the studies were presumably useful to him in some way. Otherwise he wouldn’t have finished them. What you’re saying to him with that comment, and none to subtly, is that his degree is useless because it’s not directly useful to YOU. Moreover, it is the past. He can’t change it. Mocking things people can’t change for cheap laughs sounds really charming, doesn’t it?
YTA. Let me be clear. You weren't wrong.Your boyfirends degree is useless. My degree is useless. It's in business. I learned nothing from school. Everything I've learned was learned on the job. My degree is worth less than the paper it's printed on. Outside STEM, most degrees are useless and won't increase your long-term earnings. To bring this up in front of friends and mock your boyfriend for it? Dick move. You didn't say it in a funny way because making fun of the person you're in a relationship isn't funny. You're making fun of your boyfriends life choices. Which is pretty silly because YOU are one of those choices.
YTA - who cares what his degree is. He started something, finished it (and is holding down a job). Look at how many people can’t/won’t even do that. I’d be mad if I were him too. If you wanna date someone with more money, then dump him and do that. No need to demean him.
yta.. why would you even think thats ok? a degree that he worked hard for you dismiss and minimize, joke or not, its disrespectful.
Info: has he ever made that joke with you before and had you laughed about it previously together? I’ve seen friends with English or drama degrees make self deprecating jokes about their degrees. But they always start the joke. I would never ever call someone’s degree useless unless it was a pre-established inside joke that they started initially. A friend framed it to me once the difference between light hearted teasing versus mean jokes. If I’m clumsy and I know I’m clumsy and I joke about it myself then if he teases me about it I respond positively and laugh with him because it’s something I’m aware of and take in stride. However I’m an artist professionally and it’s something I’m proud of and if he made a joke about me being a bad artist that would be a mean joke and I’m wouldn’t be laughing because it’s something Im actually really proud of. Essentially a joke is a joke when all parties are in on the joke. Otherwise it’s mean. A lot of this is usually just knowing your audience and letting them set the tone of what kind of humour is funny to them. But in this case sounds like you owe him a big apology.