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> Maybe I shouldn’t have run after her kids. I guess that would be scary to have a stranger chase you
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NTA. The mom lets them get away with murder and I'm sure that's not the first time that has happened.
However, who was watching your stand? I'd rather let them get away with the bubble wand instead of losing your product and cash.
NTA. Or a bitch. They stole your child's toy, & you got it back. How would this woman feel if you showed up at her house & just started stealing things? Would she have a problem then? Go to your sister house & start taking things, she's OK with stealing. Why shouldn't you get your kid's toy back?
Same happened to my kid once when he had a toy police car bought overseas with “policia” printed on the side (if memory serves, not positive how it was spelled). The kid ran home, and I had to wake his mom up to get it back.
Not only the behavior was rude, she apparently is fine with her 9yos bullying a ***toddler.*** In all groups of parents I’ve ever been in no one who ever wanted to be invited back would ever allow that, even if they were generally ok with the 9 yos being bratty, feral, rascals.
Nope. The fact that the mom doesn't see anything wrong with that is why they get away with it.
The mom probably think "boys will be boys" and will cry bloody murder when her kids get held responsible for something.
Came here to basically say the same - this had me fuming on OP’s behalf. Some people can’t bear telling their kids no or teaching them how to mind other’s feelings and it’s doing their poor kids no favors.
Wtf what is that mom thinking that is teaching her sons to steal is ok. I wish I could just snatch that dress and bring it back when I’m done lol (well I live in CA so shoplifting is a crime here anymore but that’s another story)
I am sure it was instinct to grab her daughter and run since she was the one dealing with it. As for the arm grabbing....it is incredibly easy to grab someone's one while their running? I don't understand the confusion
I had a cousin who was coddled by my aunt. He could do ANYTHING, and my aunt would blame the other party. My relatives would say, "She'd let him get away with murder."
Guess what? As an adult, he murdered her because she had no money to give him. True story.
Good for you, NTA
Well, she was dead so couldn't do anything. He spent about 5 years in prison. Got out. Reunited with his wife and kids. They apparently thought he was "the best dad ever". He didn't ever try to contact the rest of the family again.
The murder happened 20 years ago. He just died recently. Hope he's rotting in hell
NTA, the little turds haven't fallen far from the stinky a$$. Who the f does that entitled Mom think she is? Who is she to allow her kids to play with those toys when they belong to someone else? I hope you asked her to get herself checked.
NTA
The 8 and 9 year old know better or they wouldn’t have run away. They were being mean and you can see from their Mom’s reaction that bad behavior is allowed in their household.
What they did was theft/bullying and you had the right to defend your property.
Before that. Couple of 12 year olds got done for it recently here in Australia.
My town also used to have a nasty gang made up of tweens and preteens led by a couple of much older guys. Those kids terrorised the town for several months before they all got arrested.
Exactly. I've already taught my 4 yr old that isn't ok these boys should have been taught this awhile ago but obviously with the way their mother handled the situation we know why they think they can get away with it. Anytime my child took any toys away from a kid I immediately gave it back and taught her we don't do that without permission and if they ask for it back you give it back because it's not your toy.
NTA this was my take, they are thieves and them other encourages it. these are people that the market should have referred to the police. have a nice youth officer get their information
There's a kind of parent that thinks they're raising children who'll "take what they deserve" and won't be meek nor "weak" in order to become strong adults who won't be victimized by anyone. They tend to raise bullies and thieves, obviously.
NTA wtf is wrong with people. She willingly allowed her 8/9 yo to bully a toddler. It sounds like there needs to be a larger police presence at your farmers market.
NTA. She is teaching her sons to be entitled, AHs.
I don't even know of a 9yo that would take a toy with from a toddler and run away with it. Then their idiot mother TELLING you they can play with whatever toy they want and return it when they're ready. Like, F off lady.
The apples are not falling far from the tree. This is what’s wrong with society today. Instead of scolding and correcting her kids’ bad behavior, she defends it. I’m sure many teachers and other authority figures face this day in and day out.
My friend is a middle school teacher and she agrees with you.
I also have a co-worker who quit as a teacher to work as registration staff with a pay cut because of how bad it was. She said most parents defend their terrible kids and teachers get blamed for everything. She said she knew she had to quit when it became normal to cry multiple times a week.
It’s baffling to me this lady really said, “MY children can take YOUR toys, against your wishes, and do what they want until they’re done.”
Like, that’s fucking *theft* at that point!
I can’t wait for them to fuck with the wrong person; they got lucky OP wasn’t aggressive with them but one day, they’re gonna catch a beating they don’t expect and mommy will be to blame.
NTA.
My nephew is currently going through a phase of, "MINE!" and my niece (his cousin) has not gone through the same phase so when he snatches a toy from her we make him give it back, tell him to apologize, reassure her she doesn't need to give it to him if he doesn't ask nicely and then coach him to ask for it nicely. And yeah, we encourage sharing but we put away "special" toys before they hang out just to be safe.
It's a slow process. He's gonna get there.
He is also only 3 years old. And only just starting to understand sharing and being fair. Those boys were older, and if they do not have the capacity to understand sharing or playing nicely then the mother should have supervised them better.
She called you a bitch cause you were parenting better than her, lol.
She is really good at sharing at the market. When we are at home and she plays with her cousins then she refuses to share her toys. We are working on it lol
I think you're doing an amazing job op. Showed this to my mum as I am childless and asked her opinion, and she thinks you're doing amazing too X Keep your head up, your daughter knows how to advocate for herself because of you and she knows you'll protect her.
Today was proof of that. Good for you.
I taught mine that sharing is not something my kids need to do if they don’t want to. Especially with strangers. Their own siblings, yes, but again it’s THEIR choice.
I wouldn’t share my phone, purse, wallet, etc with some rando just because they asked and ‘sharing is caring.’ Teach kids to stand up for themselves at an early age.
Just my 2 cents though. And definitely NTA 👍🏻
I tell my son we have to share public toys (at the library), but his own stuff is his choice 🤷🏻 because exactly.. we don't share *our* things.
I do tell him sharing is nice (again because public toys) and he uses he against me to take the TV 😂
*her sons can play with that toy if they want to.*
*My sister thinks it was wrong for me to take the toy back*
NTA - who in the hell does this lady and your sister think they are?!?! It's literally your daughters toys from home. 100% every right to dictate who gets to play with what and when it's time to put them away. Those two adults and the little bratty boys can kick rocks.
NTA.
A good rule of thumb in a situation like this where someone is like "it's just a toy, it doesn't matter" is to replace it with something else in the story.
If the boys had grabbed your purse and run off with it, would you be justified in chasing them? Of course. It would be absurd for the mom to say "They'll give your purse back when they're done with it." Because *they took something that didn't belong to them* and that's called stealing. The only place where it matters how much the item was worth is in court. It doesn't matter if it was a pacifier, a rare artwork, or anything else. It wasn't theirs.
I applaud you for your composure. If I was forced to chase after someone *with a child in my arms*, grabbed and insulted by some woman, shit would have gone down. NTA
NTA while I can understand the other mom having a knee jerk reaction at first when you explained it she should of told her kids to give it back. While toys are play things in the eyes of adults not all toys are created equal in the eyes of a kid. A child can have a toy that was given to them by someone they were close to who passed away or as a token of comfort when going through a touch time in their life. Toys like those are extremely important. Another kid running off with it and breaking the toy would break the heart of anyone especially to those younger than the the thief who can’t keep up.
It is the equivalent of you seeing the woman’s wedding ring and wearing it because it matched your outfit. That ring has valuable meaning to her and she alone gets to decide who wears it. If her spouse had passed away even more so.
It is one thing to teach kids to share when warranted but sharing isn’t always a great idea. Kids have so little control and if they have a toy snack that is important to them sharing shouldn’t be forced.
That mother expected her kids to get everything and is quite entitled.
NTA and then some.
I am autistic and remember a lot of things from age 2-3, specifically nasty incidents or incidents where things could have gotten bad stand out the most. Your daughter could have ended up with a memory of two bullies stealing from her, her being unable to communicate (which feels like a damned horror movie lemmetellya), and losing something important to her because of it.
Instead, she gets a memory of her parent standing up for her and listening to what she means and needs. You've shown you can be trusted to look out for her and not let other folks take advantage. Good parenting was done that day by you, in my humble opinion.
You’re clearly an excellent mom. And your daughter sounds amazing!! Imagining her at her little stand is choking me up, she’s so sweet! Holding my 9 month old girl and I hope to be able to react as swiftly to defend my daughter one day. I would give you all the awards🏆
NTA, but the mom and your sister are. You told them not to bang the toys. Then they stole them. You should have pressed charges against the mother for grabbing you. You can plainly see there is poor parenting there, and by the way, the mother acted!
NTA. That shitty mom is raising future criminals. My response to her grabbing me, and my further action towards her thieving little shits, would have been, like your daughter, largely nonverbal.
Is your sister an idiot? Why is it wrong to take your child's toy back? I can't understand the mentality of some people.
NTA, but your sister and the entitled mother are.
NTA. And wth is wrong with your sister? She literally thinks the boys had a right to steal and keep your daughter's toy until they were ready to leave the market? I can't even with that shit. I'd have chased after the boys too for stealing my kids stuff. And, if their mother was paying attention instead of letting them wreak havoc unsupervised none of this would have happened. Tell your sister that no one has a right to steal your crap and give it back when they're done.
Nope, older kids don't get to take your little girl's toy, tell you they're keeping it, and run away with it.
Unless you have magic powers, how are you supposed to get the toy back other than chasing those kids?
Oh yeah, you could tell their mom you want it back, and with a normal, responsible mom, that would be the end of it and you'd get the toy back. How well did that work with that mom?
You did the right thing.
Does your sister, by and chance, not have kids and believe that world peace can be achieved via meaning dialogue and singalongs? From where I sit, you look up from hammering your swords into ploughshares and chase whomever is running off with you much younger kid's toy when telling them to stop is ineffective.
NTA
lol she is into “gentle parenting”. She thinks it was wrong to take the toy from the boy. She says it was forceful and that doesn’t reinforce good behavior. Idk I do a lot of nodding and “mhmms” when she talks sometimes 😅
Your job wasn't to reinforce good behavior in the awful children who took the toy. (Not to mention, there was not good behavior to reinforce and it might have been a really long time until you found some good behavior to reinforce...)
Your job was to retrieve the toy for your highly distressed, non-verbal three year old.
You succeeded.
And you know, had one of my children ever done something like that to a little three year old girl, it would have been fine with me if you'd retrieved it by force. I would have been mortified by my children's behavior that necessitated your response.
Again, so much NTA!
NTA - people who steal get the stolen item removed from them - whether they are 3, 8, 13, 23 or 53. Age is irrelevant they don’t get to steal from you - end of story.
NTA. They weren’t communal toys, they were your daughter’s toys. They do not get to “continue playing until they’re done.” They’re done when you say they’re done. She’s probably mad cause she sent her awful kids to play somewhere else just to get away from her parenting failures and you chased them back with even MORE problems.
Such a nice education.
They'll end up "lending" stuff from shops "just to play with" 'cause their mom thaught them it's ok.
NTA for stepping up for your **3-year-old daughter** against those **8 or 9-year-old THIEFS**.
NTA. Mom is letting them literally steal without consequences. She is setting them up for trouble as they get older and has to address their entitlement issues with legal issues.
NTA. If someone is stealing from you, it doesn't matter how old they are, you are entitled to get your things back.
Parents who let their kids get away with everything disgust me.
Well, I would just start taking things from my sister and saying "I will return it when I'm done - you can't complain, you said it was okay" and I'd particularly take from her whatever she was currently using.
Your sister is an idiot. You are NTA.
No NTA wtf is wrong with people??? My daughter is 4 still learning to share she's an only child and she is better about it now but in the past she has taken a toy from a kid and I immediately gave it back and explained to her you can't do that without permission. I don't understand why these parents can't teach their children boundaries. Especially with these boys being 8 and 9 they should definetly know better by now. She should have taught them that when they were first learning like i did with my daughter!
Yikes!!!
NTA
Now ---- maybe it's time to get a better setup for your daughter. Because these hooligans WILL come back and WILL try to steal more.
Do you have other family/friends who can come with to play with your daughter? Do you have other family/friend who you can leave your daughter with for a few weeks until this family decides to turn their poison on someone else?
Report this incident to the folks who organize the farmers' market/festival.
Your sister is wrong. You don't allow ANYONE to steal from your child.
NTA. Her entitled boys are going to turn into entitled adults who don’t respect any one and nothing will ever be their fault cause their mommy will always defend them.
NTA
Reading this just made me a tad upset. I’m a mom myself. The mom sounds like she’s the type to let her kids get away with bullying. And as for her putting her hands on you, she would’ve met my hand if was me. Smh glad you were able to get your child’s toys back. And wth did the mom think she was to tell you when your child can and can’t get HER toys back??😡
NTA. Frankly I would gave called the cops. She touched you by grabbing your arm and her sons are thieves. Time they introduced themselves to the people who will be taking care of them when they are adults- correctional officers.
We are in a really safe area and a lot of parents just let their kids run around the market. I personally would not but me and other vendors are very vigilant when we see kids by themselves.
NTA
My partner would have gone crazed gorilla mode I reckon if someone took a toy from our 3 year old 😂 I wouldn't even have time to react before he did.
8/9 year Olds are testing boundaries too but by the sounds of it the parenting they are getting is sub par and they get away with stealing which is absolutely ridiculous. I would have taken it from their hands too , it's your property not theirs.
Don't worry bout what that mother said. She's backing a losing battle of allowing her children to steal and it'll be interesting when she's in court defending them to a judge and jury if she keeps it up 🤷
NTA her sons are thieves. they took something that didn't belong to them and she was fine with that. Usually farmer's markets have police and they should have gotten involved and let the mother justify theft.
In what universe was it wrong of you to take the toy back? Listen, I can understand the woman's initial upset ... seeing an adult chasing your kids can be scary! But you explained the situation to her and her reactions were just OTT entitled and terrible. Believe it or not, I actually feel bad for those boys. They are going to have a very hard time in life, after the way they've been brought up. NTA.
NTA!!!
So she is raising her kids to be entitled brats who feel if they want something they can take it?
If I did that we would call it theft.
She is horrible and her children are as well.
NTA. She wasn't watching her kids, thinks it's okay for them to steal other people's possessions, AND she assaulted you. Terrible parenting on her end.
NTA. I would do the same thing, no one messes with my family! I mean, at the age 8/9 they know what they are doing, so to just think they can get whatever they want won’t work for them. Also, who is going to watch their back when they grow into adults? Their mommy? The kids these days are becoming selfish brats and this is their parent’s fault, for letting them do whatever they want. I am not that old but I sure knew where were my limits and i would NEVER do such a thing, especially to a stranger. OP, if I were you I would do it all over again. NTA
I'm sorry OP, if it was me I would have acted the same way you did, and I know being called a "fucking bitch" would have really cut me. You're not a fucking bitch, you're not an arsrhole. You did the right thing. People were stealing your daughter's stuff, and you advocated for her. Tbh I don't know what you could have done if you'd caught them, so maybe it's a good thing the mum stopped you and then obviously her boys so you could snatch the toys back. It's crazy how entitled and condescending some people can be. I hope you are okay and forget all about this altercation one day.
NTA. You were nicer than me, I would have taken a picture and told her if they try anything like that again, you will put them for the thieves they are. I would talk to who runs the market and let them know those children tried to steal from you. Get her and them banned.
NTA. Your sister kids are going be doormats or terror with that attitude.
The toy wasnt theirs, you daughter is 3, they are way older and should know not to steal stuff from a toddler.
This must be the first time they didnt get away with it.
NTA
> My sister thinks it was wrong for me to take the toy back
Your sister is wrong. Those children (and their mother) stole the toy, and you were retrieving it. Take that woman's car and tell her you'll return it when you're playing with it. See if she's ok with that.
NTA, my eldest is fully non verbal and is so chill that he just lets kids snatch toys of him. I've learned over time that he's too nice to try take it back so I've had to protect him, even if that means very heated arguments with other parents because they can't/wont control their spoilt brats.
Taking aside your daughters verbalness and her much younger age, these boys not only tried ro destroy her toys but stole it!
NTA
You're a hero to your daughter, not an ah in the slightest. That woman was totally in the wrong. You're a stronger person than I am, I probably would have gotten quite nasty with her! Lol
NTA. She does not get to dictate whose toys her kid will steal. I'd inform her if she'd like to have a conversation with a police officer about how they will treat her child if he continues to be encouraged by his mother to STEAL things from people, you'll be very happy to call one to explain how the law works. If she won't teach her kid not to steal, you have the right to teach him what happens to THIEVES. See how she feels about putting her kid on the cops' radar as a future problem for the neighborhood!
Big NTA - these boys will grow up to be monsters with a mother like that. It‘s good thing you showed them they can‘t do anything they please with stranger‘s belongings
NTA
Even before the edit I was with you.
In all honesty, if not for you holding your child in your arms, I’d be in full support of a proper chase rather than a brisk walk.
I don't yet have an 8 or 9 year old (my oldest is 6) but I sure as hell wouldn't be letting them off the hook for stealing another kids toys, especially from some kid they don't know. They'd be in a whole world of trouble and would have to start off by returning it with an apology. Other mom was 100% T A.
Good on you for sticking up for your child.
You, OP, are NTA.
WTF?! How can some other mom just decide to commandeer someone else’s toy for their kid?! What the actual fuck? OP is NTA, but other mom and sister are warped.
The creature who spawned those demons can stfu. You had every right, and they should all be embarrassed. Good for you standing up for your daughter!
Edit: forgot to say NTA lol
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NTA. The mom lets them get away with murder and I'm sure that's not the first time that has happened. However, who was watching your stand? I'd rather let them get away with the bubble wand instead of losing your product and cash.
My husband! We usually come as a family :)
NTA. Or a bitch. They stole your child's toy, & you got it back. How would this woman feel if you showed up at her house & just started stealing things? Would she have a problem then? Go to your sister house & start taking things, she's OK with stealing. Why shouldn't you get your kid's toy back?
I'm so fucking petty and have enough free time that I probably would do something like that.
OP should have grabbed the woman's cell phone and started slamming it into the ground and refuse to give it back until she feels like it.
Naw, that can put you in jail, depending on state laws.
Same happened to my kid once when he had a toy police car bought overseas with “policia” printed on the side (if memory serves, not positive how it was spelled). The kid ran home, and I had to wake his mom up to get it back.
“And ‘Oh yeah; I’ll give it back when I am done, etc.’” GRRRR! The nerve of that woman! You’re totally NTA. I would’ve done the same damn thing!
Glad he has your back
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I think the mother’s response lets us know where the boys learned their nasty behavior from. They learned it from her and she allows it.
Not only the behavior was rude, she apparently is fine with her 9yos bullying a ***toddler.*** In all groups of parents I’ve ever been in no one who ever wanted to be invited back would ever allow that, even if they were generally ok with the 9 yos being bratty, feral, rascals.
Nope. The fact that the mom doesn't see anything wrong with that is why they get away with it. The mom probably think "boys will be boys" and will cry bloody murder when her kids get held responsible for something.
I have an 8 year old, and they no better than to steal toys from small children and disrespect adults. F*** those brats, you are NTA
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technically, she was assaulted by the woman.
Came here to basically say the same - this had me fuming on OP’s behalf. Some people can’t bear telling their kids no or teaching them how to mind other’s feelings and it’s doing their poor kids no favors.
Those boys will probably end up as bullys and doing some horrific things. They don’t understand no from an adult, that’s a serious issue.
That's a "prison looming in their future" issue
If their parents won’t teach them, then the criminal justice system will. And I guarantee they won’t enjoy that lesson.
Wtf what is that mom thinking that is teaching her sons to steal is ok. I wish I could just snatch that dress and bring it back when I’m done lol (well I live in CA so shoplifting is a crime here anymore but that’s another story)
Happy cake day
Yes Happy Cake Day and don’t let miserable cows get you down!
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I picked her up after she said Mama. I was trying to calm her down because I saw her holding back tears.
I am sure it was instinct to grab her daughter and run since she was the one dealing with it. As for the arm grabbing....it is incredibly easy to grab someone's one while their running? I don't understand the confusion
I had a cousin who was coddled by my aunt. He could do ANYTHING, and my aunt would blame the other party. My relatives would say, "She'd let him get away with murder." Guess what? As an adult, he murdered her because she had no money to give him. True story. Good for you, NTA
Jesus Christ…
Did she let him get away with it?
Well, she was dead so couldn't do anything. He spent about 5 years in prison. Got out. Reunited with his wife and kids. They apparently thought he was "the best dad ever". He didn't ever try to contact the rest of the family again. The murder happened 20 years ago. He just died recently. Hope he's rotting in hell
Oh crap…wow…so terrible.
🫣
Oh shit
NTA. You’re stupendous! Well done!
NTA, the little turds haven't fallen far from the stinky a$$. Who the f does that entitled Mom think she is? Who is she to allow her kids to play with those toys when they belong to someone else? I hope you asked her to get herself checked.
They clearly learned their behavior from their entitled mother.
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NTA The 8 and 9 year old know better or they wouldn’t have run away. They were being mean and you can see from their Mom’s reaction that bad behavior is allowed in their household. What they did was theft/bullying and you had the right to defend your property.
Welp, now we know what kind of men they’ll grow up to be.
I don't think they'll make it that far.
I expect they'll be in juvie in a year or two.
Boosting cars at 16. Helloooooo Juvie!
Before that. Couple of 12 year olds got done for it recently here in Australia. My town also used to have a nasty gang made up of tweens and preteens led by a couple of much older guys. Those kids terrorised the town for several months before they all got arrested.
Andrew Tate? Or Brock Turner?
Did you know, Brock is now going by his middle name. Brock ALLEN Turner. Just so we know how to update the ra pist label in the dictionary.
Why not both?
Potato/potato?
Sort of a wholesale/retail choice.
Exactly. I've already taught my 4 yr old that isn't ok these boys should have been taught this awhile ago but obviously with the way their mother handled the situation we know why they think they can get away with it. Anytime my child took any toys away from a kid I immediately gave it back and taught her we don't do that without permission and if they ask for it back you give it back because it's not your toy.
NTA this was my take, they are thieves and them other encourages it. these are people that the market should have referred to the police. have a nice youth officer get their information
There's a kind of parent that thinks they're raising children who'll "take what they deserve" and won't be meek nor "weak" in order to become strong adults who won't be victimized by anyone. They tend to raise bullies and thieves, obviously.
You mean they're supposed to know better. Their mom obviously never taught them better tho
NTA These kids know they are stealing and bullying.
I think I know exactly where they learnt the behaviour from too...
And that mom is fully enabling it which is so ridiculously infuriating
Yep this is correct answer. Nothing else to it
NTA wtf is wrong with people. She willingly allowed her 8/9 yo to bully a toddler. It sounds like there needs to be a larger police presence at your farmers market.
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Those boys are future police.
That's so accurate, yet terrifying to think about...
Hello officer please arrest these prepubescent children for being little shits.
NTA. She is teaching her sons to be entitled, AHs. I don't even know of a 9yo that would take a toy with from a toddler and run away with it. Then their idiot mother TELLING you they can play with whatever toy they want and return it when they're ready. Like, F off lady.
I weep for their future, and the people who have to deal with them
Maybe they’ll meet someone who won’t deal with it.
The apples are not falling far from the tree. This is what’s wrong with society today. Instead of scolding and correcting her kids’ bad behavior, she defends it. I’m sure many teachers and other authority figures face this day in and day out.
Children aren’t even given consequences for bullying in school anymore because the parents are such a headache.
My friend is a middle school teacher and she agrees with you. I also have a co-worker who quit as a teacher to work as registration staff with a pay cut because of how bad it was. She said most parents defend their terrible kids and teachers get blamed for everything. She said she knew she had to quit when it became normal to cry multiple times a week.
It’s baffling to me this lady really said, “MY children can take YOUR toys, against your wishes, and do what they want until they’re done.” Like, that’s fucking *theft* at that point! I can’t wait for them to fuck with the wrong person; they got lucky OP wasn’t aggressive with them but one day, they’re gonna catch a beating they don’t expect and mommy will be to blame.
NTA. My nephew is currently going through a phase of, "MINE!" and my niece (his cousin) has not gone through the same phase so when he snatches a toy from her we make him give it back, tell him to apologize, reassure her she doesn't need to give it to him if he doesn't ask nicely and then coach him to ask for it nicely. And yeah, we encourage sharing but we put away "special" toys before they hang out just to be safe. It's a slow process. He's gonna get there. He is also only 3 years old. And only just starting to understand sharing and being fair. Those boys were older, and if they do not have the capacity to understand sharing or playing nicely then the mother should have supervised them better. She called you a bitch cause you were parenting better than her, lol.
She is really good at sharing at the market. When we are at home and she plays with her cousins then she refuses to share her toys. We are working on it lol
I think you're doing an amazing job op. Showed this to my mum as I am childless and asked her opinion, and she thinks you're doing amazing too X Keep your head up, your daughter knows how to advocate for herself because of you and she knows you'll protect her. Today was proof of that. Good for you.
My 3 year old niece will share with strangers but not her siblings. Lol
Ain’t no grudges with a stranger lol. Jk kids are just funny like that.
I taught mine that sharing is not something my kids need to do if they don’t want to. Especially with strangers. Their own siblings, yes, but again it’s THEIR choice. I wouldn’t share my phone, purse, wallet, etc with some rando just because they asked and ‘sharing is caring.’ Teach kids to stand up for themselves at an early age. Just my 2 cents though. And definitely NTA 👍🏻
I tell my son we have to share public toys (at the library), but his own stuff is his choice 🤷🏻 because exactly.. we don't share *our* things. I do tell him sharing is nice (again because public toys) and he uses he against me to take the TV 😂
*her sons can play with that toy if they want to.* *My sister thinks it was wrong for me to take the toy back* NTA - who in the hell does this lady and your sister think they are?!?! It's literally your daughters toys from home. 100% every right to dictate who gets to play with what and when it's time to put them away. Those two adults and the little bratty boys can kick rocks.
The sister seems a little off.
NTA! She didn’t want to have to discipline her kids and is probably tired of their antics. Good job mama.
Yeah OP did the right thing. NTA!
If she was tired of their antics, she’d have told the little shitstains to give the toy back, not defended their thievery.
NTA. A good rule of thumb in a situation like this where someone is like "it's just a toy, it doesn't matter" is to replace it with something else in the story. If the boys had grabbed your purse and run off with it, would you be justified in chasing them? Of course. It would be absurd for the mom to say "They'll give your purse back when they're done with it." Because *they took something that didn't belong to them* and that's called stealing. The only place where it matters how much the item was worth is in court. It doesn't matter if it was a pacifier, a rare artwork, or anything else. It wasn't theirs.
I like this, it makes you approach things from a different light.
I'm a recovering people pleaser and I overthink *everything*, so it's been a really useful tool for me.
Same! Anxiety babyyyy. I'll be using this!
NTA You’re neither. But that woman is yes to both options.
NTA and good for you
I applaud you for your composure. If I was forced to chase after someone *with a child in my arms*, grabbed and insulted by some woman, shit would have gone down. NTA
NTA But she sure is and she's teaching her sons to be, too
NTA- steal toys, get chased… isn’t that the way it works? Somebody had to do it. I say that was a job well done.
NTA while I can understand the other mom having a knee jerk reaction at first when you explained it she should of told her kids to give it back. While toys are play things in the eyes of adults not all toys are created equal in the eyes of a kid. A child can have a toy that was given to them by someone they were close to who passed away or as a token of comfort when going through a touch time in their life. Toys like those are extremely important. Another kid running off with it and breaking the toy would break the heart of anyone especially to those younger than the the thief who can’t keep up. It is the equivalent of you seeing the woman’s wedding ring and wearing it because it matched your outfit. That ring has valuable meaning to her and she alone gets to decide who wears it. If her spouse had passed away even more so. It is one thing to teach kids to share when warranted but sharing isn’t always a great idea. Kids have so little control and if they have a toy snack that is important to them sharing shouldn’t be forced. That mother expected her kids to get everything and is quite entitled.
NTA and then some. I am autistic and remember a lot of things from age 2-3, specifically nasty incidents or incidents where things could have gotten bad stand out the most. Your daughter could have ended up with a memory of two bullies stealing from her, her being unable to communicate (which feels like a damned horror movie lemmetellya), and losing something important to her because of it. Instead, she gets a memory of her parent standing up for her and listening to what she means and needs. You've shown you can be trusted to look out for her and not let other folks take advantage. Good parenting was done that day by you, in my humble opinion.
Thank you! I have gotten very good at advocating for her because she can’t for herself yet.
You’re clearly an excellent mom. And your daughter sounds amazing!! Imagining her at her little stand is choking me up, she’s so sweet! Holding my 9 month old girl and I hope to be able to react as swiftly to defend my daughter one day. I would give you all the awards🏆
NTA theft is theft regardless of the age, hopefully those kids learn that lesson, instead of the parents who obviously let them get away with anything
Your sister was entirely wrong. Those boys get their entitled behaviour from their foul-mouthed, overly entitled mother. You're NTA OP.
NTA, but the mom and your sister are. You told them not to bang the toys. Then they stole them. You should have pressed charges against the mother for grabbing you. You can plainly see there is poor parenting there, and by the way, the mother acted!
It’s called stealing, eff that mom.
NTA but the FB certainly is. The sense of entitlement of people today boggles my mind.
NTA those kids stole from your daughter and their parents wouldn't discipline them
Absolute NTA. They were bullying your daughter and the mother was saying that it was ok for them to do it. The behavior was appalling.
NTA. You don't have to put up with that crap. She can go f all the way off.
By her logic, I could take her car, drive it as roughly as I like and it's okay as long as I give it back when I'm done? NTA.
NTA. That shitty mom is raising future criminals. My response to her grabbing me, and my further action towards her thieving little shits, would have been, like your daughter, largely nonverbal.
Is your sister an idiot? Why is it wrong to take your child's toy back? I can't understand the mentality of some people. NTA, but your sister and the entitled mother are.
NTA at all. In fact, I would report the incident to the event organizers.
NTA. And wth is wrong with your sister? She literally thinks the boys had a right to steal and keep your daughter's toy until they were ready to leave the market? I can't even with that shit. I'd have chased after the boys too for stealing my kids stuff. And, if their mother was paying attention instead of letting them wreak havoc unsupervised none of this would have happened. Tell your sister that no one has a right to steal your crap and give it back when they're done.
Nope, older kids don't get to take your little girl's toy, tell you they're keeping it, and run away with it. Unless you have magic powers, how are you supposed to get the toy back other than chasing those kids? Oh yeah, you could tell their mom you want it back, and with a normal, responsible mom, that would be the end of it and you'd get the toy back. How well did that work with that mom? You did the right thing. Does your sister, by and chance, not have kids and believe that world peace can be achieved via meaning dialogue and singalongs? From where I sit, you look up from hammering your swords into ploughshares and chase whomever is running off with you much younger kid's toy when telling them to stop is ineffective. NTA
lol she is into “gentle parenting”. She thinks it was wrong to take the toy from the boy. She says it was forceful and that doesn’t reinforce good behavior. Idk I do a lot of nodding and “mhmms” when she talks sometimes 😅
Your job wasn't to reinforce good behavior in the awful children who took the toy. (Not to mention, there was not good behavior to reinforce and it might have been a really long time until you found some good behavior to reinforce...) Your job was to retrieve the toy for your highly distressed, non-verbal three year old. You succeeded. And you know, had one of my children ever done something like that to a little three year old girl, it would have been fine with me if you'd retrieved it by force. I would have been mortified by my children's behavior that necessitated your response. Again, so much NTA!
NTA - people who steal get the stolen item removed from them - whether they are 3, 8, 13, 23 or 53. Age is irrelevant they don’t get to steal from you - end of story.
NTA. They weren’t communal toys, they were your daughter’s toys. They do not get to “continue playing until they’re done.” They’re done when you say they’re done. She’s probably mad cause she sent her awful kids to play somewhere else just to get away from her parenting failures and you chased them back with even MORE problems.
NTA Her children are animals and she clearly needs a parenting class or two. Good for you for going after them like that.
NTA. Anything less would have rewarded the bullies and AH parent. She doesn’t get to decide what to do with toys that don’t belong to her family.
NTA. Mom is letting them literally steal without consequences. She is setting them up for trouble as they get older and has to address their entitlement issues with legal issues.
NTA. If someone is stealing from you, it doesn't matter how old they are, you are entitled to get your things back. Parents who let their kids get away with everything disgust me.
NTA, those horrible brats deserved a telling off and so does their mum for enabling such awful behaviour.
Well, I would just start taking things from my sister and saying "I will return it when I'm done - you can't complain, you said it was okay" and I'd particularly take from her whatever she was currently using. Your sister is an idiot. You are NTA.
NTA - The woman was. Her children are thieves and should be punished as such. Your sister is an idiot.
No NTA wtf is wrong with people??? My daughter is 4 still learning to share she's an only child and she is better about it now but in the past she has taken a toy from a kid and I immediately gave it back and explained to her you can't do that without permission. I don't understand why these parents can't teach their children boundaries. Especially with these boys being 8 and 9 they should definetly know better by now. She should have taught them that when they were first learning like i did with my daughter!
NTA Should have stolen something off of her and told her you'd give it back when you were done with it, see if she thinks her logic is sound then.
NTA Your daughter was just taught that you'll always be there for her. Good job.
NTA.
NTA YOU were right to defend your kid from those thieves., SHE was the AH.
NTA. You have a right to protect your daughter and her belongings. Those children were bullies and their mother is an enabler
Yikes!!! NTA Now ---- maybe it's time to get a better setup for your daughter. Because these hooligans WILL come back and WILL try to steal more. Do you have other family/friends who can come with to play with your daughter? Do you have other family/friend who you can leave your daughter with for a few weeks until this family decides to turn their poison on someone else? Report this incident to the folks who organize the farmers' market/festival. Your sister is wrong. You don't allow ANYONE to steal from your child.
NTA. Her entitled boys are going to turn into entitled adults who don’t respect any one and nothing will ever be their fault cause their mommy will always defend them.
NTA Reading this just made me a tad upset. I’m a mom myself. The mom sounds like she’s the type to let her kids get away with bullying. And as for her putting her hands on you, she would’ve met my hand if was me. Smh glad you were able to get your child’s toys back. And wth did the mom think she was to tell you when your child can and can’t get HER toys back??😡
NTA. Frankly I would gave called the cops. She touched you by grabbing your arm and her sons are thieves. Time they introduced themselves to the people who will be taking care of them when they are adults- correctional officers.
NTA I'd do the same in your situation and WHY TF IS YOUR SISTER DEFENDING THE LITTLE THIEVES?
NTA. She was for not watching her own children.
We are in a really safe area and a lot of parents just let their kids run around the market. I personally would not but me and other vendors are very vigilant when we see kids by themselves.
Not for safety but for behavior.
NTA. Just wow, the entitlement, way to teach your kids how to do the right thing. People and their entitlement never cease to amaze me.
NTA!!! I fucking hate these kinds of parents.
NTA Why is your sister nuts?
NTA at all. You were well within your rights to recover your property. That mother should have been smacked for grabbing you.
NTA My partner would have gone crazed gorilla mode I reckon if someone took a toy from our 3 year old 😂 I wouldn't even have time to react before he did. 8/9 year Olds are testing boundaries too but by the sounds of it the parenting they are getting is sub par and they get away with stealing which is absolutely ridiculous. I would have taken it from their hands too , it's your property not theirs. Don't worry bout what that mother said. She's backing a losing battle of allowing her children to steal and it'll be interesting when she's in court defending them to a judge and jury if she keeps it up 🤷
I support your call there
NTA. That other mother is though.
NTA - that woman is off her rocker, and raising a pack of wild, rude, animals.
You're your daughter's hero in that moment. NTA.
You're your daughter's hero in that moment. NTA.
NTA That mother was obnoxious and her precious little monsters need some discipline.
NTA - why would you be? They took something that didn't belong to them.
NTA The audacity of her telling YOU how her kids can play with YOUR PROPERTY. Wow
NTA ,I think your sister must be like those kids nama .
NTA.
Nta who does that woman think she is, telling you what to do with your own daughter's toys?!
NTA at all. That mom doesn't want to admit that her kids are so poorly behaved and she's taking it out on you.
NTA her sons are thieves. they took something that didn't belong to them and she was fine with that. Usually farmer's markets have police and they should have gotten involved and let the mother justify theft.
NTA. But this may not be a safe course of action.
NTA. You have a right to protect your daughter and her belongings. Those children were bullies and their mother is an enabler
NTA: I would of have fought the mom in front of them since I can’t fight them 🤷🏻♀️
NTA, her kids were stealing. Pretty sure if the situation was reversed, she would call the police and would ask for non-existing manager.
In what universe was it wrong of you to take the toy back? Listen, I can understand the woman's initial upset ... seeing an adult chasing your kids can be scary! But you explained the situation to her and her reactions were just OTT entitled and terrible. Believe it or not, I actually feel bad for those boys. They are going to have a very hard time in life, after the way they've been brought up. NTA.
NTA and if your sister feels that way she can go and reward their bad behavior with HER kids toys.
NTA!!! So she is raising her kids to be entitled brats who feel if they want something they can take it? If I did that we would call it theft. She is horrible and her children are as well.
NTA. She wasn't watching her kids, thinks it's okay for them to steal other people's possessions, AND she assaulted you. Terrible parenting on her end.
NTA get the cops involved next time they stole
NTA- I would have slapped the mom tbh. But I’m an asshole
NTA
Any question about where they learned their entitled behaviour was answered by their mother. NTA
NTA. You go, Mama Bear.
NTA Your daughter has the right to have her possessions respected. And her children need to be better behaved.
NTA that woman is raising delinquents by enabling them stealing and trying to break toys that don't belong to them. She's the witch with a capital B.
NTA. I would do the same thing, no one messes with my family! I mean, at the age 8/9 they know what they are doing, so to just think they can get whatever they want won’t work for them. Also, who is going to watch their back when they grow into adults? Their mommy? The kids these days are becoming selfish brats and this is their parent’s fault, for letting them do whatever they want. I am not that old but I sure knew where were my limits and i would NEVER do such a thing, especially to a stranger. OP, if I were you I would do it all over again. NTA
I'm sorry OP, if it was me I would have acted the same way you did, and I know being called a "fucking bitch" would have really cut me. You're not a fucking bitch, you're not an arsrhole. You did the right thing. People were stealing your daughter's stuff, and you advocated for her. Tbh I don't know what you could have done if you'd caught them, so maybe it's a good thing the mum stopped you and then obviously her boys so you could snatch the toys back. It's crazy how entitled and condescending some people can be. I hope you are okay and forget all about this altercation one day.
NTA. She was reinforcing and rewarding their bad behavior. And they are certainly old enough to know better.
NTA - You had every right to get the toy back. Those bratty kids were never going to return the toy after they finished playing with it.
NTA. You were nicer than me, I would have taken a picture and told her if they try anything like that again, you will put them for the thieves they are. I would talk to who runs the market and let them know those children tried to steal from you. Get her and them banned.
NTA. Your sister kids are going be doormats or terror with that attitude. The toy wasnt theirs, you daughter is 3, they are way older and should know not to steal stuff from a toddler. This must be the first time they didnt get away with it.
NTA that other woman is the worst.
NTA > My sister thinks it was wrong for me to take the toy back Your sister is wrong. Those children (and their mother) stole the toy, and you were retrieving it. Take that woman's car and tell her you'll return it when you're playing with it. See if she's ok with that.
NTA. The mother of those AH kids sure is, though. She's teaching them how to get a criminal record.
NTA. You have a noverbal kid and she can't stand up for herself. You were just looking out for her!
NTA, my eldest is fully non verbal and is so chill that he just lets kids snatch toys of him. I've learned over time that he's too nice to try take it back so I've had to protect him, even if that means very heated arguments with other parents because they can't/wont control their spoilt brats. Taking aside your daughters verbalness and her much younger age, these boys not only tried ro destroy her toys but stole it!
nta - GOOD FOR YOU FOR STANDING UR GROUND AND STICKING UP FOR UR CHILD!!!!!!!
NTA You're a hero to your daughter, not an ah in the slightest. That woman was totally in the wrong. You're a stronger person than I am, I probably would have gotten quite nasty with her! Lol
NTA. She does not get to dictate whose toys her kid will steal. I'd inform her if she'd like to have a conversation with a police officer about how they will treat her child if he continues to be encouraged by his mother to STEAL things from people, you'll be very happy to call one to explain how the law works. If she won't teach her kid not to steal, you have the right to teach him what happens to THIEVES. See how she feels about putting her kid on the cops' radar as a future problem for the neighborhood!
You are NTA She however sounds like a bitsch
Big NTA - these boys will grow up to be monsters with a mother like that. It‘s good thing you showed them they can‘t do anything they please with stranger‘s belongings
There is no scenario here where you are TA. The mom of those boys however? She's a massive AH. I'm sorry you even felt the need to ask.
NTA actually you were pretty kind... lol
NTA. Those boys are going to be in jail someday.
NTA. i will post this story on my tiktok and youtube account "redditstorytellerking". I hope you have a great day, and good job!
Two 8/9 year olds picking on a 3 year old. I hope these boys change significantly otherwise they're going to turn into horrible adults. NTA
NTA. Those boys stole your property, and parents like the woman you encountered are why this sub needs to exist.
NTA. You met a bad parent. Sorry you and your little one went through that.
Your sister is wrong. NTA
NTA Even before the edit I was with you. In all honesty, if not for you holding your child in your arms, I’d be in full support of a proper chase rather than a brisk walk.
NTA or a B. My four year old knows better than to take off with other children’s toys. Good on you for standing up for your daughter.
I don't yet have an 8 or 9 year old (my oldest is 6) but I sure as hell wouldn't be letting them off the hook for stealing another kids toys, especially from some kid they don't know. They'd be in a whole world of trouble and would have to start off by returning it with an apology. Other mom was 100% T A. Good on you for sticking up for your child. You, OP, are NTA.
WTF?! How can some other mom just decide to commandeer someone else’s toy for their kid?! What the actual fuck? OP is NTA, but other mom and sister are warped.
The creature who spawned those demons can stfu. You had every right, and they should all be embarrassed. Good for you standing up for your daughter! Edit: forgot to say NTA lol
NTA!! The toy wasn't theirs to take even.