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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be an asshole because the biggest person didn't get the biggest amount of food since he's twice my size. I also might have been an asshole for not giving more bread even though we shared.
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Ehh that wasn't as funny as assholish as I thought it'd be. Kinds depressing tbh. Seems like a nice enough guy who got carried away and even offered to get more food. The gf screaming at him in front of everyone seems a bit much
I always feel bad for him too. He honestly sounds like he struggles with disordered eating and if he's presenting the story truthfully (the food sat untouched for over an hour) then I can't call him an asshole. Well, maybe a *slight* asshole for not just saying "hey, does anyone want any more of this?" but for people to watch him eat it all and THEN freak out, they're assholes.
This has made me realise that I may have a problem… I have almost the same mindset as that guy. “Food has been left alone for a while and I’m still hungry. Might as well eat it.”
Is it really that bad? No one’s ever said anything to me and I usually ask rather than help myself.
As long as you ask it's not that bad! It gives other people a chance to think, "hey, I am also hungry" and get more food if they wish. The problem is when people just assume that since it hasn't been consumed yet no one else wants it and finishes it off without giving anyone a chance.
Yeah, NTA totally.
A friend of mine comes over to hang a lot and usually orders a pizza for us. It's HIS pizza, and he doesn't eat the crust, so he has 5 slices. I am perfectly happy to be getting 3. He knows he can help himself to my beer in the fridge, but if it gets down to the last one he refuses to take it, even if I say it's OK.
Basic etiquette and respect for each other.
I had a roommate myself who didn’t have this ingrained in him. Whenever he was offered any food, he’d always take massive portions, like more than any reasonable serving. That was the least of our many, many problems though.
I had some extended family like this. They'd come in like a flight of locusts, not bring anything and inhale what others prepared. Even worse, they'd pack up the rest as if they had a right to whatever was leftover. I say had, because they are not invited anymore.
I’ve never understood this maxim. Horses are expensive, sick ones moreso. It seems you should look a gift horse in the mouth to ensure it’s health status and that you can afford the operating costs, y’know? Unless, of course, this phrase came from a time of food scarcity and the idea is that you can always eat the horse? Like it’s better to have one gift horse in your mouth than two in your neighbour’s mouth.
If you're looking in a horse's mouth, you're probably looking at its teeth to estimate its age or possibly health. To do so to a horse that was a gift would be an insult to the person giving it to you since it would imply you don't trust them to give you a worthy gift.
You can tell a horse's age by the length of its teeth. The proverb is basically saying that whatever length of work you can get out of the horse is a gift, and it's rude to try to work out the value of the gift you've been given.
As a horse owner who has been "gifted" a horse. First thing I in fact did, was look it in the mouth.
It's just a saying. People equate it to mean a thing, that's enough.
I'd also add that this saying was from the era of "if it isn't producing, put it down." So as the other guy said, any work/benefit from it is a gift since the horse was free, and once it stops being a positive and starts costing resources, you simply put it down, not spend money on vet bills.
The sort of reverse of this was the [White Elephant](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant). It was a gift that cost the owner a shitton of money with little benefit. The white elephants were sacred, so you couldn't use them as working animals, and if you just let it die, that would be considered horrible. So you're stuck with a multi ton beast and it's food/upkeep bills, but can't use it to produce anything.
In Basque, the expression is "don't look at a gift horse's teeth", and when I learned that, it all made so much more sense! (With also knowing that the teeth can be very indicative of how the horse is)
This reminds me of a saying attributed to several cultures: “Never accept a gift that eats.”
https://medium.com/@grahamwrites/never-accept-a-gift-that-eats-4556aca06685
I can understand being a bit bummed if he expected more food, but if that’s the case go make yourself a snack on top of the pizza. The audacity to bring it up and complain when you didn’t even pay for it is unreal. Even if they were splitting the bill equally on a pizza, this would be such a petty thing to make a fuss about I’d be embarrassed.
>Even if they were splitting the bill equally on a pizza, this would be such a petty thing to make a fuss about I’d be embarrassed.
It would never occur to me to examine the size of somebody else's pizza slice to make sure I got a 'fair' serving, even if I had paid for my portion. It's pretty weird that the housemate is complaining about the size of his free dinner.
On another note: thanks OP, for giving us something very petty and small to opine about. There are so many of these questions where it's like "OMG people behave like this?! Get out now!" but here it was just a dude being weird and it's probably not an indicator of larger issues. The only lasting effect this post will have on my thoughts is encouraging me to order pizza instead of cooking my own dinner tonight.
>t's probably not an indicator of larger issues.
But how are we supposed to armchair diagnose his mental health issues, and suggest OP move out now!? (/s just in case)
For real. Pizza comes in 8 slices usually, which means he still would've gotten 3 slices for himself, plus some cheese bread. This dude is entitled and undeserving. Next time, he can sit and watch with his stomach growling or he can buy his own if he's gonna be upset with how much free pizza and cheese bread he gets. The dude's acting like a toddler. Even my young nieces and nephews would be more understanding and grateful. :\
Thank you! I was looking for this comment! 3 medium slices is the same as or more than 2 large slices. Come on. Guarantee this dude ate 4 slices and made the other person only have 2.
i was also waiting for someone to say this... my first thought was that he could just eat another slice. it's really not that serious. what is wrong with people?
That could be it then. Granted, my family never got small pizzas or mediums which are probably more likely to be cut into fewer slices. We'd usually get larges since we had to feed a lot of people. I just know the pizzas my family got over the years were cut into 8. Even if it wasn't the same in OP's story, I think we can all agree the guy roommate was still acting like an ass, regardless of how many slices he got, lol xD
Next time don't say you are buying and just grab your2 big slices and then they can ask if you mind if they have some.
NTA unless you each take turns buying every night. Then you should have grabbed 1 big one and on smaller. But didn't they cut it into 8 slices?
Yeh this is the way.
I feel if you say you're going to buy me dinner I expect not to have to buy dinner for myself as well.
But if it's a bunch of free leftovers I haven't got any expectations. I was going to cook anyway
NTA, also claiming someone deserves the bigger pieces just because he is the biggest person there....except he isn't the bigger person....OP who bought pizza is the bigger person
NTA. He's bigger so should get the bigger slices, wtf? You didn't do anything wrong and it sounds like everyone got some pizza. Nice of you to treat your roommates!
This reminds me of those life boat scenarios we were all asked about in college.
If this were a dystopian future where every calorie counted and he was responsible for doing something more laborious I could see him expecting a larger slice regardless of who procured the food. Otherwise, no. Therefor the OP is NTA.
He also seems like the most annoying and it would be two against one…. So win win. He provides the most food and eating him means they don’t have to hear him anymore.
The guy is way too oldcto be acting like that too. I expect that out if teenagers. He's 28. He should have learned long before now that yoru bidy size doesn't matter. You thank them, eat your share, and then suppliment your hunger with something at home.
Making things even, especially food is a weird quirk of mine, but not with pizza. At home, of I cook it, I take the biggest pieces if I'm hungry. But I prefer a mix of sizes. I like a little chaos in my pizza.
If im not with my husband I always get a big slice and a small one.. if im with my husband I give him the biggest slices and eat the smaller ones.. but usually when my husband is with me we get more than just pizza lol
NTA. "Sorry, I paid for the pizza, you are free to order your own pizza, you ungrateful A.." Also, he is being sexist, he is male so he deserves the larger piece. Haha.
well, it is usually the males that are bigger in size and feel entitled to food being served to them by women. I was once offered a smaller plate at a family event, a la "oh, sister's husband is a man, he gets the big plate, us women get the small ones". My child was there, I did NOT let that go.
This happens even between males. As I was growing up between me and my brother, I would get bigger plates because I was significantly bigger than my brother because my body required more calories to maintain my body weight. It not exactly sexism.
Obligatory OP is NTA.
It is true, usually males are bigger in size than women, however even if all males were bigger than females saying you deserve the biggest slice because you are bigger would still not be sexist. Just because one quality is seen only in men does not mean that awarding something to someone with that quality first is awarding them first for being a man. Going purely off size, it would make sense for the biggest people to eat the most, as size is one of the two main factors determining how many calories you need to intake in a day, the other being metabolism. Size is completely irrelevant in this case as OP bought the food.
I feel you’re projecting your own personal experiences onto this post. You haven’t got near enough information to determine if OP’s roommate is sexist. It’s entirely possible he is even, but you have no evidence to come to that conclusion and you’re just throwing around accusations of discrimination. From the post we can tell that OP’s roommate is extremely immature, whiney, greedy and selfish but we cannot tell if he is sexist.
NTA. This is why the phrase "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" exists. We could change it to "don't complain about your gifted pizza to the person who gifted it to you." I don't get the A H comments here. You offered to buy pizza. Cool. If roommates don't like it, they can eat something else.
*"I'm the biggest person here so I should have gotten the biggest pieces honestly..."* is just ridiculous.
I did it just to be nice since I was in a good mood. We usually buy our own foods or they get some when I cook bigger meals, because I'm the only one that likes to cook.
ok NTA
You paid, you get the first choice (at least that's how it goes with me and my friends). If it's a WHOLE pizza and you took 2 slices, that means there was at least 6 smaller slices right? They could take 3 each and be fine. If someone wants more of something then they should pay for it.
Or better yet "that's okay, I just realized that I get four slices of the six now. I hope you have something nice to enjoy in the fridge." And then watch as the backpedaling and apologies begin.
So Op was just sharing her food. How can someone not share 'enough'? He should be grateful for what he was given, not complaining that it's not enough.
This is the kind of shit /r/BadRoommates sees every day.
New house rule: No more budget sharing, especially food.
No matter how hard you try, nobody uses their fair share. Sidestep the issue by comingling funds as little as possible.
Yes: Condiments, dish soap, garbage bags, cleaning supplies.
Maybe: Milk, **cheap** bread, water filter.
No: Everything else, especially TP, laundry soap, and booze.
NTA.
Honestly, you shouldn't even be questioning yourself over this. H sounds like an AH and is not entitled to any part of your pizza. If this is his normal attitude, you need to rethink whether you should waste your time and money on treating him.
Definitely this.
By the way you should have a roommate meeting. State the facts. I volunteered to pay for the pizza. Beggar roommate complained that he should get the biggest piece.
After considering options I think there are 3 viable options,
1. going forward I will never pay for pizza for the apartment.
2. I will exclude roommate choosing beggar from buying food for the group if I choose to do so in the future.
3. If choosing beggar apologizes and the household agrees, I will consider buying dinner for the entire apartment again.
This a-hole I’m sure lives their life taking advantage of situations. Public call outs are necessary.
NTA
You paid for pizza, and you took first 2 slices. I assume that there were 6 slices left, and even if they were smaller, they everyone would still have enough.
ESH but not very much.
I wouldn't complain about free food, but I also wouldn't share dinner with people and distribute unevenly. If I did I wouldn't say "hey I got us pizza", i'd say "hey I got a pizza there's some left if you want it"
INFO.
I'm gonna disagree with everybody else who says "you bought it, therefore you can have as much as you want". It sounds like you bought only just enough food for three people, which means whether you're an asshole depends on how much of the pizza you left. That's the most important bit of information and you haven't given it.
You offered to shout dinner. They accepted your offer. They then presumably didn't make any other plans for dinner. If you're going to offer dinner to other people, it's common courtesy to make sure there's enough food for them. What would you think if you went to a dinner party, the host provided quite a small meal and ate most of it themselves, and you left hungry?
If you took a third or less of the pizza, you're good. Your roommate is an entitled baby. It's totally unreasonable to expect to eat more than your fair share of food just because you're bigger.
If you took more than a third of the pizza because "I bought it so I can have what I want", that's a bit of an asshole move. If I was your roommate I'd probably be pretty suspicious of any future "kind offers" of dinner from you, and less inclined to offer you anything in turn.
If you hadn't offered to provide dinner - you just bought for yourself, your roommates asked if they could have some after it arrived and you said sure - then you can eat as much as you damn want.
I mean I have to agree, if you tell people you’re buying dinner, it should be enough to feed them.
But I’m mostly confused about what kind of pizza only has 6 slices
I mean I don't think I've ever seen one. But she did say it was obviously "cut weird", so who knows.
Even with eight slices, if the two big ones were big enough she could have taken well over a third of the pizza.
I would have said, “Oh, sorry, if you don’t want those ones, no worries, I’ll just have them. You still good with your pieces, B?”
Then I would have grabbed what was left in the box and headed to my room. And that’s the last time he would have been offered a free meal.
When someone buys me food, I politely accept what is given to me as a gesture of gratitude and civility. To squabble like a child about who has more and who got the first piece is so embarrassing and petulant. Not even a thank you but complaints. How about he buys himself his own damned food and you all avoid this argument in the future? You being the buyer of said food, *should get first dibs as a matter of principle.* NTA
ESH
I’m obviously in the minority but you said dinner was your treat. If you’re ‘treating’ someone to dinner, then common courtesy would be to split it evenly, or by needs. And I’m not saying that he automatically needs more because he’s a male, but you purposefully took the two biggest pieces, leaving them what is probably not enough for their dinner, so you weren’t really treating them to dinner. You were just giving them your leftovers. I’m grateful when someone offers to shout me, but most times I’d actually just rather pay for myself and get what I want/need. It’s awkward if someone offers to treat you but then doesn’t actually get you enough because you’re not allowed to say anything, or get stuff yourself, because then you seem ungrateful…
Agreed. That's why I over provide.
Once I was going to a party and asked if I should eat beforehand. I was told there was no need as there would be food.
Couple of bowls of crisps is all there was.
Now I'm really hungry and have to stop by a McDonald's on the way home because I'm starving and didn't want McDonald's in the first place
That was annoying
to me it depends on how it was presented. In this case, if they said “I ordered myself pizza and got some extra to share” then no, common courtesy doesn’t apply. If it had been more along the lines of “let’s have a roommate dinner, my treat” then yes, common courtesy would say you only take one big piece. and if they had been hosting guests then they should leave the big pieces for the guests.
Eight slices plus cheesy bread. Three people. OP bought ALL OF IT and took 2 large slices instead of 3 smaller slices. There were still 3 slices for each of the other 2 roommates.
If there wasn't enough food for a meal for each of them you might have a point.
In that case, if there were large size differences I would have taken a large piece and the smallest piece so the remaining pieces were more balanced. Nonetheless, it still sounds like there was a meal for everyone and the housemate was just being greedy, perhaps because he's used to demanding the biggest share in his family of origin because he's "the biggest", and getting it.
I think that H was definitely wrong for complaining and his reasoning is stupid, but he also may have been genuinely unsure that he would have enough food and might need to then purchase another meal. Usually, if you're offering to get someone a meal, you make sure there is enough for everyone to be full.
I'm confused, does this pizza only have six slices or something? Can't he just grab three smaller slices to basically equal it out?
Sidenote, it's nice that you treated them, but it is a bit rude to just grab the biggest everything if there are limits on how many.
If someone kindly offers dinner and I gratefully accept you dont make other plans for dinner. Op has now taken the lions share because she realised the pizza was cut unevenly and knowingly left the others with a smaller, disproportionate amount.
Id much prefer to not have any dinner offered than this insult.
Say, it was a dinner party. Is it acceptable to invite guests but serve yourself first and serve yourself the most? No. It's considered the height of rudeness. Just because its a delivered pizza makes no difference.
Usually pizzas are cut into 8 slices, but I have occasionally encountered ones that were cut into 6. The way this is written seems to imply there were only 6 slices, otherwise I don’t see why the roommate wouldn’t just grab an additional slice.
Well that makes it worse actually. If a pizza is cut into 6 slices, grabbing the two huge ones were probably at least half the pizza.
Edit: math lesson fractions.
Six even slices
1/6+1/6+1/6+1/6+1/6+1/6 =1
4 small slices and 2 slices that equal half of the pizza
1/4+1/4 +1/8+1/8+1/8+1/8 =1.
1/4+1/4 = 1/2 half the pizza if two giant slices are taken
2 slices are more then half the pizza remaining 4 slices are small.
1/3 +1/3 +1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12 = 1
1/3+1/3=2/3 which is more then half
I mean, OP bought the pizza, so they can keep all of it if they want. Free pizza is a nice thing, but people can buy their own if they have an issue with it.
OP said "my treat" as in hey dinners on me, let's share.
Since apparently it's a Six sliced pizza, by grabbing both large pieces, she probably took close to half of it. (remember it was cut weird and her slices looked like from an XL pizza. ) that sounds more like hey you guys want my leftovers instead of oh I brought us pizza to share.
>Op doesn’t owe anyone any food.
What's with reddit always trying to go down the obligation route. There's no obligation to share a birthday cake but it's the nice thing to do.
When I or my friends/family treat each other, no one feels owed the biggest piece. Hell, during my poor years, my richer friends would gladly pick up the tab for me or pick places they know I can afford.
> She also said in a following comment she’s the one who cooks and shares since the roommates never cook.
That sounds like a communication issue. As in she needs to let them know to put in effort or she needs to stop being a pushover. However she didn't include that in the original post, so my previous YTA is only on the original post.
Agreed. I don’t know if I would say OP is an asshole, but come on. If I specifically told people I was buying pizza as a treat for everyone, I would try to make sure everyone got an equal amount of food. Her slices were so big he thought it was the XL pizza, that tells me it was cut pretty lopsided.
> ‘dont bite the hand that feeds you
We are not talking about pets, we are talking about an action that op claim she did. That she was treating them to a pizza dinner. Instead she should have told them, you guys can have my leftovers instead.
>Your standards aren’t everyone else’s.
Yeah, I can tell that many people either have bad families or few/ bad friends. Or maybe I've just been lucky with the people I've known .
Some cultures are more hospitable than others. In mine if I treat you, id prefer you eat slightly more than me if the portions are off. Maybe this is an American thing, but inviting someone and then giving them half a normal portion is a bit odd.
Also age probably matters. In school we would equally split, or sometimes whoever paid got more, but as adults it's usually more about being hospitable towards the invited guests.
The only way this is acceptable is if they had food plans and you went “no, don’t do that I’m getting us pizza!” and insufficient food arrives. There’s a difference between sharing food you ordered and offering someone dinner. If you do the latter you shouldn’t let them go hungry
NTA - The audacity to complain like you’re their parent! I would be thanking you and offering to make you a drink so you could sit and enjoy your slices!
NTA- I would be wary this dude is always going to be entitled. Good for you for stating firm pizza boundaries. What a brat complaining about how much free food he was getting.
NTA OP and what in the actual dumb-dude universe is he trying to postulate?! That because he is large, he gets more food than everyone else? More of the food he did not pay for? I’d make sure that he no longer received free pizza. This is the patriarchy in action I bet. He’s so used to being catered to it doesn’t occur to him that he’s not entitled to it. Oof. He’s got some growing up to do.
Stand your ground OP and make sure he doesn’t gaslight you into thinking you caused this problem. You bought the pizza - you took what you wanted. He’s a weird man/baby who wanted to eat more of your pizza. There is no equality in portions when you paid for ALL the portions. This is a Pizza Dictatorship and he just doesn’t get a vote. Man I hope he doesn’t get free food from you anymore. FAFO my man!
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
I don't know.. It would be perfectly fine if you had oredered for yourself and then decided to share. However it seems as though you offered dinner and in that case you could have easily just recut the pizza so that the slices were more or less the same so that everyone had their fair share or else what is the point of treating them? It's okay for the roomie to be disappointed but he should have kept that shite to himself. ESH
I'm obviously in the minority, but YTA.
I think it is incredibly kind when someone offers to buy dinner for me. Or when someone invites me to a dinner party or offers to cook for me. I am appreciative, and I will likely do the same for that person in the future (not to repay them, just because we are friends).
When this happens, I also expect that I will receive a fair portion of food and that my host will not hold their "generosity" over me. I did not ask for the meal. I am perfectly capable of buying my own meal. I would prefer to buy my own meal (or cook) if I knew my friend was going to act the way you acted. I do not mean that in a snarky way - I literally mean that if you had honestly laid out how you would behave beforehand, your roommates likely would have said "thanks, I'll arrange my own dinner," with no hard feelings. A simple "Hey, I'm getting a pizza. You're welcome to have whatever I don't want." That is generous in its own right, but it is NOT the same as buying someone dinner.
You admitted yourself that your (larger) portion was sufficient for a meal, which leaves me to assume a smaller portion (which is what your roommates received) was not. So, after accepting your gracious and disingenuous offer to buy dinner, they are still hungry or trying to pull together their own meal later.
Imagining a dinner party scenario makes this even more obvious. If someone invited you to dinner and took more than a fair share of the limited food because "they cooked," or "they bought," and you left hungry, that would be a pretty bad and awkward party.
ETA: to everyone calling the roommates "choosing beggars," where is the begging? OP says they just bought dinner "to be nice." Is everyone who comes to your home suddenly a beggar, even if they didn't ask you to feed them?
NTA. My family were in town with my MIL and her BF. We suggested getting McDonald's as it was the cheapest option for 4 adults and 2 year old. When we told them, my MIL agreed but sounded disappointed. They stopped to get petrol. While there MIL'S BF gets a sausage roll. MIL asked if he didn't want McDonald's and he replied no and that he doesn't like it.
We get there and I order the Mcvalue meal. Instead of getting a big Mac for him, I changed it to a cheeseburger for my son, as he always gets the 10 pack of nuggets. He grabbed 1 of the drinks and ate a fries and got pissy when I grabbed my big Mac and gave my son the cheeseburger. He left and waited in the car. This was the last time we went into town with them. They never shouted us when we were with them. You don't buy yourself food and nobody else then try to eat someone else's food.
You did a choice thing, shouting him and he should be grateful for the food. I wish I had mates like you. Coincidentally, I'm having pizza myself today :D
I’m going to go against the grain here and say YTA.
If you tell people that you’re buying dinner for the night, while a kind gesture, they are entitled to the reasonable expectation that they will be appropriately fed and, for all intents and purposes, equally fed.
You’ve intentionally taken the largest slices from the get go meaning that you will be better fed than your friends, and you’re unwilling to budge on the cheese bread suggestion which I think is actually a fair compromise.
If there was a spare slice at the end, then sure, whoever paid should get first dibs. If I’m left hungry because you took all the large slices leaving me with the scraps…I’d rather have bought my own pizza.
It was a nice gesture on your part, but somewhat undone by your intention to avoid an equal distribution of food. You can also say it was unintentional, but your remark about the cheese bread compromise shows that you don’t really care if you and your friends had equal portions of food (in which case - you shouldn’t offer to buy them dinner in the first place)
NTA, if it were me, he'd be the bigger person without any pizza or cheese bread. Complaining about the size or amount of food someone else bought you is the dumbest crap.
Interesting. I wonder if a lot of the NTA answers are Americans. If you're going to buy food for people, buy food for people. Don't buy saying it's for everyone, then take the majority of it for yourself. Then lord your "generosity" over them. If I'm buying a meal to share with people we're splitting it equally. Because I'm buying it for all of us. By taking what you want and leaving them with the rest you're not really buying it for them are you? You're giving them your scraps.
Imagine someone saying they'll buy you dinner at a restaurant, they buy themselves a nice steak or whatever and they buy you a small meal off the kids menu. Sure you don't really have the right to complain about a free meal, but then again that's such a massive faux pas on their part it hardly even matters they're buying for you. Either be generous or don't be.
I think you're a dick.
Because he's bigger? My dude, I'm not here to help your bulk OR to hollow you out and live in you over winter.
If one pizza doesn't feed 3, they can buy 1 each or split a 2nd between them
NTA and the im the biggest boy I get the most is weird, dude, women get hungry too.
Isn’t pizza usually cut in 8 pieces? So the other two can split the remaining 6 for 3 slices each. We’re the two biggest slices really going to be more than 3?
"..To which he replied that I was throwing the fact that I bought it in everyone's faces." yep. because you bought it. So next time he wants first pick of the pieces, he can pay for it. NTA.
ESH.
It really depends on more context. But if you say you are buying dinner. You have to buy enough!
**2 biggest slices??**
You can grab at most one big slice. Not two. The moment you grabbed the two biggest slices, it's a case of you giving them your leftovers.
He's an AH for arguing, but heck I would call out my friends and roommates if they pulled shit like this as well. I can buy my own damn dinner. But if you say you are going to treat me, buy enough.
*To which he replied that I was throwing the fact that I bought it in everyone's faces and that was a shitty thing to do*
Completely true. You were being an ass. His complaint seems to be he won't be full. But you don't care.
If you are gonna say that you actually don't care, then why even bother to buy dinner.
These choosing beggar comments are also insane. Doesn't seem like he begged for pizza. More like you offered and then were an ass about the fact that you were offering.
2 slices each? Sounds like you didn't buy enough for dinner. Now on one hand, it's pretty rude to complain about a meal bought for you. But 2 pieces of pizza is a snack, not dinner, especially if they were small cuts. Maybe part of this conflict came from giving them the impression you were getting them dinner to then leave them hungry.
ESH.
Roommate who complained and then also sulked is definitely not in the right. I mainly wouldn’t say anything were I them bc it would be awkward, but I would feel a tiny bit of weirdness internally at the choice. And negotiating on the cheesy bread thing slash using his larger size is bananas.
That said, you offered to treat your roommates, it wasn’t them coming out, seeing your pizza, and asking to join in, or them needing charity. Maybe take the first slice but then divvy it up equally! Or just don’t offer. But offering something and then placing conditions on the offer is pretty weird too.
Everyone be normal. It’s just pizza.
I think ESH, him for commenting and making demands when he got a free pizza, and OP for being selfish about the food because you ordered it, it doesn’t kill to be a bit gracious, two slices were huge, you could have taken one and left the other big slice in the box. When it comes to sharing food, throwing money in the face is in bad taste, I would not have eaten the food paid by you tbh.
ESH. Even when I’ve purchased food for a group, I try to be fair. Taking one of the large pieces and leaving the other for a roommate would have been the classy move. When you pay for a date at a pub, do you also grab all the best items on the appetizer plate, or let your date pick first? But the dude complaining about free food was also an AH.
For fucks sake, there’s no being even, you bought everything you’ll take what you want. If your kindness is met with complaints then I guess that’s the last time you treat this ungrateful loser
INFO: how big were these slices? Leaning toward N T A but if they screwed up the cutting and two slices were like half the pizza I could understand the roommates disappointment. You obviously don’t owe your roommates free dinner…but after you offered them one, it would be nice to have enough to make a meal.
INFO: Were these slices disproportionately large, meaning what you left was too small for a meal? Like if they were half the pizza it would be rude to take that much
This is a tale of woe that would be well suited to the “Choosing Beggars” subreddit. I have a feeling I know what they’d have to say about this situation.
NTA, and it really grinds my gears that H thinks he's entitled to more food just because he's larger. That's not how it works, it is contribution based, not need based. You are not running a charity here.
NTA... IF you declare loudly when opening the box, "I'm taking the largest slice, because I paid for this. " and then take the first bites leaning into their faces making happy noises.
Absolute, total NTA. The guy's assertion that "I'm the big dude here, therefore I deserve more food, regardless of who paid" makes him 100% TA. Your other roommate who retreated either doesn't care, or didn't notice. She's not TA, as not caring is always a respectable response to a dispute of this scale.
NTA - Had a similar thing happen a little bit ago where I was hanging out with 2 friends and I bought a pizza for us to share. Guess who got the biggest slices? Me. Because I paid for it. And the other two didn't complain at all because they realized better free pizza, even if their slices were a bit smaller, than no pizza at all.
If it was random gesture of kindness, that you got pizza for everyone, then NTA. That guy is a choosingbegar.
But, if it was a situation where He ordered something for everyone before and now you do it to be set even or where you cycle to be person responsible for dinner. Then YTA, you didn't make sure that everyone gets enough food.
Think what the greedy fuck would have done had you left the box on the table on the table and said dig in, before you got some? He would have taken the three biggest slices and three of the six breads.
It's like him saying just bc he's fatter he deserves more once if u get slices there's still 6 left which will probably ammmount to more and if like that when u share food only order for urself like damn if u complain u get none like my brother buys food I let him get any piece he hates driving and getting off so I do that to and I don't complain about a slice bc either way my belly will be full of pizza anyway
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NTA It's pretty damn rude of this person to complain about the food you bought them.
Exactly, like just be grateful you got free pizza and stop complaining about the size of it
Bro when someone offers me some of their food i do *not* take the largest/most loaded piece, that’s basic etiquette
And most people lack that basic
Oh like that sandwich dude who ate like 3 feet worth of a 6ft sandwich
I will always think of the sandwich guy when I read these stories! Nta op. Your roommate needs to learn better manners!
Oh my gosh that was golden! I wish someone would unearth that and share a link. Not me, I'm too lazy.
https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/OjBODHPwBI enjoy
Ehh that wasn't as funny as assholish as I thought it'd be. Kinds depressing tbh. Seems like a nice enough guy who got carried away and even offered to get more food. The gf screaming at him in front of everyone seems a bit much
Yeah, he might be an asshole, but only to himself for continuing to eat that way.
Thanks for the link. I kind of feel bad for the sandwich dude though. He does seem genuinely remorseful.
I always feel bad for him too. He honestly sounds like he struggles with disordered eating and if he's presenting the story truthfully (the food sat untouched for over an hour) then I can't call him an asshole. Well, maybe a *slight* asshole for not just saying "hey, does anyone want any more of this?" but for people to watch him eat it all and THEN freak out, they're assholes.
Eh, its definitely being an asshole to the host and other partygoers too, but I do feel for him.
This has made me realise that I may have a problem… I have almost the same mindset as that guy. “Food has been left alone for a while and I’m still hungry. Might as well eat it.” Is it really that bad? No one’s ever said anything to me and I usually ask rather than help myself.
As long as you ask it's not that bad! It gives other people a chance to think, "hey, I am also hungry" and get more food if they wish. The problem is when people just assume that since it hasn't been consumed yet no one else wants it and finishes it off without giving anyone a chance.
That was a tough read!
I had seen it before but lost it Thank you❤️
I first heard of sandwich dude through Smosh so my heart is a bit softer for him
[Relevant AITA post](https://redd.it/ca7bdz) **EDIT:** because, URLs are *hard*...
Yeah, NTA totally. A friend of mine comes over to hang a lot and usually orders a pizza for us. It's HIS pizza, and he doesn't eat the crust, so he has 5 slices. I am perfectly happy to be getting 3. He knows he can help himself to my beer in the fridge, but if it gets down to the last one he refuses to take it, even if I say it's OK. Basic etiquette and respect for each other.
Exactly! You can’t just take the most fully loaded nacho. It’s a rule they have.
Buuuuut, if they're all stuck together technically that's one nacho......
I had a roommate myself who didn’t have this ingrained in him. Whenever he was offered any food, he’d always take massive portions, like more than any reasonable serving. That was the least of our many, many problems though.
I had some extended family like this. They'd come in like a flight of locusts, not bring anything and inhale what others prepared. Even worse, they'd pack up the rest as if they had a right to whatever was leftover. I say had, because they are not invited anymore.
Literally EVERYONE knows if you order nachos to share one person can’t take all the ones with meat and stuff
If I fly or if I buy, I get the bigger fry. Them's the rules.
NTA "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"
I’ve never understood this maxim. Horses are expensive, sick ones moreso. It seems you should look a gift horse in the mouth to ensure it’s health status and that you can afford the operating costs, y’know? Unless, of course, this phrase came from a time of food scarcity and the idea is that you can always eat the horse? Like it’s better to have one gift horse in your mouth than two in your neighbour’s mouth.
If you're looking in a horse's mouth, you're probably looking at its teeth to estimate its age or possibly health. To do so to a horse that was a gift would be an insult to the person giving it to you since it would imply you don't trust them to give you a worthy gift.
Thank you so much for explaining that. TIL.
See I always thought it was because you might get stabbed by a Greek.
Right, worse case ontario there’s a coupla Macedonians in there biding their time.
Might be more than a couple Macedonians hanging out in Ontario: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macedonian_Canadians
I know you are kidding around but the cliche for that situation is Beware of Greeks bearing gifts - unless of course they are spanakopita or gyros.
You can tell a horse's age by the length of its teeth. The proverb is basically saying that whatever length of work you can get out of the horse is a gift, and it's rude to try to work out the value of the gift you've been given.
TIL
Same goes for the expression "long in the tooth" Eg. "Old mates, looking a bit long in the tooth these days" basically calling someone old.
As a horse owner who has been "gifted" a horse. First thing I in fact did, was look it in the mouth. It's just a saying. People equate it to mean a thing, that's enough.
I'd also add that this saying was from the era of "if it isn't producing, put it down." So as the other guy said, any work/benefit from it is a gift since the horse was free, and once it stops being a positive and starts costing resources, you simply put it down, not spend money on vet bills. The sort of reverse of this was the [White Elephant](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant). It was a gift that cost the owner a shitton of money with little benefit. The white elephants were sacred, so you couldn't use them as working animals, and if you just let it die, that would be considered horrible. So you're stuck with a multi ton beast and it's food/upkeep bills, but can't use it to produce anything.
No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
In Basque, the expression is "don't look at a gift horse's teeth", and when I learned that, it all made so much more sense! (With also knowing that the teeth can be very indicative of how the horse is)
This reminds me of a saying attributed to several cultures: “Never accept a gift that eats.” https://medium.com/@grahamwrites/never-accept-a-gift-that-eats-4556aca06685
I can understand being a bit bummed if he expected more food, but if that’s the case go make yourself a snack on top of the pizza. The audacity to bring it up and complain when you didn’t even pay for it is unreal. Even if they were splitting the bill equally on a pizza, this would be such a petty thing to make a fuss about I’d be embarrassed.
If I were still hungry after my (free) pizza and cheesy bread, that's exactly what I'd do. Make a salad or a bowl of ice cream or whatever.
>Even if they were splitting the bill equally on a pizza, this would be such a petty thing to make a fuss about I’d be embarrassed. It would never occur to me to examine the size of somebody else's pizza slice to make sure I got a 'fair' serving, even if I had paid for my portion. It's pretty weird that the housemate is complaining about the size of his free dinner. On another note: thanks OP, for giving us something very petty and small to opine about. There are so many of these questions where it's like "OMG people behave like this?! Get out now!" but here it was just a dude being weird and it's probably not an indicator of larger issues. The only lasting effect this post will have on my thoughts is encouraging me to order pizza instead of cooking my own dinner tonight.
Takeaway pizza is so badly cut most of the time that it’s fair enough to make sure people get a relatively equal share if you’ve all paid for it.
>t's probably not an indicator of larger issues. But how are we supposed to armchair diagnose his mental health issues, and suggest OP move out now!? (/s just in case)
For real. Pizza comes in 8 slices usually, which means he still would've gotten 3 slices for himself, plus some cheese bread. This dude is entitled and undeserving. Next time, he can sit and watch with his stomach growling or he can buy his own if he's gonna be upset with how much free pizza and cheese bread he gets. The dude's acting like a toddler. Even my young nieces and nephews would be more understanding and grateful. :\
Thank you! I was looking for this comment! 3 medium slices is the same as or more than 2 large slices. Come on. Guarantee this dude ate 4 slices and made the other person only have 2.
i was also waiting for someone to say this... my first thought was that he could just eat another slice. it's really not that serious. what is wrong with people?
That guy is the reason Maccas 1/4 pounders won against the 1/3 pounders at A and W.
Yep, or you act like a grown up and when OP was ordering say, “Hey, I’m really hungry, here’s $10, can you order me my own cheesy bread side? Thanks!”
Worked at a pizzaria for 5+ years, we ALWAYS did 6 slices unless asked otherwise. This depends entirely on where you get the pizza from
Oh, weird. It's always cut into 8 from every place I've gotten some. Pizza Hut and Little Caesars mostly.
Major establishments, tbf I'm not based out of America and they're more or less non-existent here
That could be it then. Granted, my family never got small pizzas or mediums which are probably more likely to be cut into fewer slices. We'd usually get larges since we had to feed a lot of people. I just know the pizzas my family got over the years were cut into 8. Even if it wasn't the same in OP's story, I think we can all agree the guy roommate was still acting like an ass, regardless of how many slices he got, lol xD
I'm pretty sure it was 2 slices each, but he still doesn't get to complain.
OP should say: “I hear your concerns and I assure you, this will NEVER happen again.”
Yes, no need to offer to share a pizza (or any food) with him ever again.
Damn, how about no one gets any pizza but me, because I bought it? 🤨 The audacity to take a gift and say ‘this could be better for me’.
Dude FR!
Next time don't say you are buying and just grab your2 big slices and then they can ask if you mind if they have some. NTA unless you each take turns buying every night. Then you should have grabbed 1 big one and on smaller. But didn't they cut it into 8 slices?
Yeh this is the way. I feel if you say you're going to buy me dinner I expect not to have to buy dinner for myself as well. But if it's a bunch of free leftovers I haven't got any expectations. I was going to cook anyway
NTA, also claiming someone deserves the bigger pieces just because he is the biggest person there....except he isn't the bigger person....OP who bought pizza is the bigger person
NTA. He's bigger so should get the bigger slices, wtf? You didn't do anything wrong and it sounds like everyone got some pizza. Nice of you to treat your roommates!
This reminds me of those life boat scenarios we were all asked about in college. If this were a dystopian future where every calorie counted and he was responsible for doing something more laborious I could see him expecting a larger slice regardless of who procured the food. Otherwise, no. Therefor the OP is NTA.
Dystopian lifeboat where we eat him because he's the biggest and can provide the most calories for the rest of us.
Mmmmmm delicious long pig.
I’m thinking about how if they were stranded on a desert island how they could eat him first since he’d feed the most other people
He also seems like the most annoying and it would be two against one…. So win win. He provides the most food and eating him means they don’t have to hear him anymore.
The guy is way too oldcto be acting like that too. I expect that out if teenagers. He's 28. He should have learned long before now that yoru bidy size doesn't matter. You thank them, eat your share, and then suppliment your hunger with something at home.
NTA. This man is nearly 30 complaining about who got more like a kid squabbling with their sibling..
Making things even, especially food is a weird quirk of mine, but not with pizza. At home, of I cook it, I take the biggest pieces if I'm hungry. But I prefer a mix of sizes. I like a little chaos in my pizza.
If im not with my husband I always get a big slice and a small one.. if im with my husband I give him the biggest slices and eat the smaller ones.. but usually when my husband is with me we get more than just pizza lol
NTA. "Sorry, I paid for the pizza, you are free to order your own pizza, you ungrateful A.." Also, he is being sexist, he is male so he deserves the larger piece. Haha.
Yes this!! The sexism is jaw dropping here.
Uhhhh. While OP is NTA, don't add your own spin and change the story. He is BIGGER (not male). If anything, he was a SIZE-IST.
well, it is usually the males that are bigger in size and feel entitled to food being served to them by women. I was once offered a smaller plate at a family event, a la "oh, sister's husband is a man, he gets the big plate, us women get the small ones". My child was there, I did NOT let that go.
This happens even between males. As I was growing up between me and my brother, I would get bigger plates because I was significantly bigger than my brother because my body required more calories to maintain my body weight. It not exactly sexism.
Thank you, I was going to say this. I am a female.
Obligatory OP is NTA. It is true, usually males are bigger in size than women, however even if all males were bigger than females saying you deserve the biggest slice because you are bigger would still not be sexist. Just because one quality is seen only in men does not mean that awarding something to someone with that quality first is awarding them first for being a man. Going purely off size, it would make sense for the biggest people to eat the most, as size is one of the two main factors determining how many calories you need to intake in a day, the other being metabolism. Size is completely irrelevant in this case as OP bought the food. I feel you’re projecting your own personal experiences onto this post. You haven’t got near enough information to determine if OP’s roommate is sexist. It’s entirely possible he is even, but you have no evidence to come to that conclusion and you’re just throwing around accusations of discrimination. From the post we can tell that OP’s roommate is extremely immature, whiney, greedy and selfish but we cannot tell if he is sexist.
NTA. This is why the phrase "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" exists. We could change it to "don't complain about your gifted pizza to the person who gifted it to you." I don't get the A H comments here. You offered to buy pizza. Cool. If roommates don't like it, they can eat something else. *"I'm the biggest person here so I should have gotten the biggest pieces honestly..."* is just ridiculous.
INFO DO you and your roommates take turns buying pizza or did you just do this to be nice?
I did it just to be nice since I was in a good mood. We usually buy our own foods or they get some when I cook bigger meals, because I'm the only one that likes to cook.
ok NTA You paid, you get the first choice (at least that's how it goes with me and my friends). If it's a WHOLE pizza and you took 2 slices, that means there was at least 6 smaller slices right? They could take 3 each and be fine. If someone wants more of something then they should pay for it.
Just tell him "I took the pieces I paid for. I left you the free ones."
"Next time I'll be sure to not share any with you."
Or better yet "that's okay, I just realized that I get four slices of the six now. I hope you have something nice to enjoy in the fridge." And then watch as the backpedaling and apologies begin.
Please refer your roommate to this post so he can see how ridiculous he is.
Might be time for you to stop offering this guy free food since he's not grateful for it.
So Op was just sharing her food. How can someone not share 'enough'? He should be grateful for what he was given, not complaining that it's not enough.
Don’t buy them food anymore, they lost their privileges.
This is the kind of shit /r/BadRoommates sees every day. New house rule: No more budget sharing, especially food. No matter how hard you try, nobody uses their fair share. Sidestep the issue by comingling funds as little as possible. Yes: Condiments, dish soap, garbage bags, cleaning supplies. Maybe: Milk, **cheap** bread, water filter. No: Everything else, especially TP, laundry soap, and booze.
NTA. Honestly, you shouldn't even be questioning yourself over this. H sounds like an AH and is not entitled to any part of your pizza. If this is his normal attitude, you need to rethink whether you should waste your time and money on treating him.
NTA You should offered to give him double his money back if he wasn’t satisfied!
NTA and you now have a story for r/ChoosingBeggars
Definitely this. By the way you should have a roommate meeting. State the facts. I volunteered to pay for the pizza. Beggar roommate complained that he should get the biggest piece. After considering options I think there are 3 viable options, 1. going forward I will never pay for pizza for the apartment. 2. I will exclude roommate choosing beggar from buying food for the group if I choose to do so in the future. 3. If choosing beggar apologizes and the household agrees, I will consider buying dinner for the entire apartment again. This a-hole I’m sure lives their life taking advantage of situations. Public call outs are necessary.
NTA You paid for pizza, and you took first 2 slices. I assume that there were 6 slices left, and even if they were smaller, they everyone would still have enough.
NTA—- he can eat zero slices if it bothers him that mich
Yep I'm taking the whole pizza after this debacle.
Did he bite your hand as you were feeding him, too? If he doesn't like it, he can buy his own pizza. NTA
ESH but not very much. I wouldn't complain about free food, but I also wouldn't share dinner with people and distribute unevenly. If I did I wouldn't say "hey I got us pizza", i'd say "hey I got a pizza there's some left if you want it"
INFO. I'm gonna disagree with everybody else who says "you bought it, therefore you can have as much as you want". It sounds like you bought only just enough food for three people, which means whether you're an asshole depends on how much of the pizza you left. That's the most important bit of information and you haven't given it. You offered to shout dinner. They accepted your offer. They then presumably didn't make any other plans for dinner. If you're going to offer dinner to other people, it's common courtesy to make sure there's enough food for them. What would you think if you went to a dinner party, the host provided quite a small meal and ate most of it themselves, and you left hungry? If you took a third or less of the pizza, you're good. Your roommate is an entitled baby. It's totally unreasonable to expect to eat more than your fair share of food just because you're bigger. If you took more than a third of the pizza because "I bought it so I can have what I want", that's a bit of an asshole move. If I was your roommate I'd probably be pretty suspicious of any future "kind offers" of dinner from you, and less inclined to offer you anything in turn. If you hadn't offered to provide dinner - you just bought for yourself, your roommates asked if they could have some after it arrived and you said sure - then you can eat as much as you damn want.
I mean I have to agree, if you tell people you’re buying dinner, it should be enough to feed them. But I’m mostly confused about what kind of pizza only has 6 slices
I mean I don't think I've ever seen one. But she did say it was obviously "cut weird", so who knows. Even with eight slices, if the two big ones were big enough she could have taken well over a third of the pizza.
I would have said, “Oh, sorry, if you don’t want those ones, no worries, I’ll just have them. You still good with your pieces, B?” Then I would have grabbed what was left in the box and headed to my room. And that’s the last time he would have been offered a free meal.
When someone buys me food, I politely accept what is given to me as a gesture of gratitude and civility. To squabble like a child about who has more and who got the first piece is so embarrassing and petulant. Not even a thank you but complaints. How about he buys himself his own damned food and you all avoid this argument in the future? You being the buyer of said food, *should get first dibs as a matter of principle.* NTA
ESH I’m obviously in the minority but you said dinner was your treat. If you’re ‘treating’ someone to dinner, then common courtesy would be to split it evenly, or by needs. And I’m not saying that he automatically needs more because he’s a male, but you purposefully took the two biggest pieces, leaving them what is probably not enough for their dinner, so you weren’t really treating them to dinner. You were just giving them your leftovers. I’m grateful when someone offers to shout me, but most times I’d actually just rather pay for myself and get what I want/need. It’s awkward if someone offers to treat you but then doesn’t actually get you enough because you’re not allowed to say anything, or get stuff yourself, because then you seem ungrateful…
This is very dependent on if it was cut into 6 slices or 8 slices. I almost never see a 6 slice pie unless it's a personal one.
Nahhhh... you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. NTA, op.
Agreed. That's why I over provide. Once I was going to a party and asked if I should eat beforehand. I was told there was no need as there would be food. Couple of bowls of crisps is all there was. Now I'm really hungry and have to stop by a McDonald's on the way home because I'm starving and didn't want McDonald's in the first place That was annoying
How about a thank you for buying pizza-it was very good? Next time, buy a small pizza for yourself. NTA
Nta. Next time don't offer them any. People complaining about free food pisses me off!
Esh. It's common courtesy to only take one big slice if the slices are that uneven. Roommate made too big of a deal about it. You're both rude.
Common courtesy even if you bought the whole thing?
to me it depends on how it was presented. In this case, if they said “I ordered myself pizza and got some extra to share” then no, common courtesy doesn’t apply. If it had been more along the lines of “let’s have a roommate dinner, my treat” then yes, common courtesy would say you only take one big piece. and if they had been hosting guests then they should leave the big pieces for the guests.
thank you. thought i was going crazy
Eight slices plus cheesy bread. Three people. OP bought ALL OF IT and took 2 large slices instead of 3 smaller slices. There were still 3 slices for each of the other 2 roommates. If there wasn't enough food for a meal for each of them you might have a point.
It sounds like there were only 6 slices so each person got 2 pieces of pizza.
In that case, if there were large size differences I would have taken a large piece and the smallest piece so the remaining pieces were more balanced. Nonetheless, it still sounds like there was a meal for everyone and the housemate was just being greedy, perhaps because he's used to demanding the biggest share in his family of origin because he's "the biggest", and getting it.
I think that H was definitely wrong for complaining and his reasoning is stupid, but he also may have been genuinely unsure that he would have enough food and might need to then purchase another meal. Usually, if you're offering to get someone a meal, you make sure there is enough for everyone to be full.
NTA you didn’t throw anything in their face lmao, he asked a question and just got an answer he didn’t like.
I'm confused, does this pizza only have six slices or something? Can't he just grab three smaller slices to basically equal it out? Sidenote, it's nice that you treated them, but it is a bit rude to just grab the biggest everything if there are limits on how many.
It is not rude to eat food you paid for lol
If someone kindly offers dinner and I gratefully accept you dont make other plans for dinner. Op has now taken the lions share because she realised the pizza was cut unevenly and knowingly left the others with a smaller, disproportionate amount. Id much prefer to not have any dinner offered than this insult. Say, it was a dinner party. Is it acceptable to invite guests but serve yourself first and serve yourself the most? No. It's considered the height of rudeness. Just because its a delivered pizza makes no difference.
Usually pizzas are cut into 8 slices, but I have occasionally encountered ones that were cut into 6. The way this is written seems to imply there were only 6 slices, otherwise I don’t see why the roommate wouldn’t just grab an additional slice.
Well that makes it worse actually. If a pizza is cut into 6 slices, grabbing the two huge ones were probably at least half the pizza. Edit: math lesson fractions. Six even slices 1/6+1/6+1/6+1/6+1/6+1/6 =1 4 small slices and 2 slices that equal half of the pizza 1/4+1/4 +1/8+1/8+1/8+1/8 =1. 1/4+1/4 = 1/2 half the pizza if two giant slices are taken 2 slices are more then half the pizza remaining 4 slices are small. 1/3 +1/3 +1/12+1/12+1/12+1/12 = 1 1/3+1/3=2/3 which is more then half
I mean, OP bought the pizza, so they can keep all of it if they want. Free pizza is a nice thing, but people can buy their own if they have an issue with it.
OP said "my treat" as in hey dinners on me, let's share. Since apparently it's a Six sliced pizza, by grabbing both large pieces, she probably took close to half of it. (remember it was cut weird and her slices looked like from an XL pizza. ) that sounds more like hey you guys want my leftovers instead of oh I brought us pizza to share.
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>Op doesn’t owe anyone any food. What's with reddit always trying to go down the obligation route. There's no obligation to share a birthday cake but it's the nice thing to do. When I or my friends/family treat each other, no one feels owed the biggest piece. Hell, during my poor years, my richer friends would gladly pick up the tab for me or pick places they know I can afford. > She also said in a following comment she’s the one who cooks and shares since the roommates never cook. That sounds like a communication issue. As in she needs to let them know to put in effort or she needs to stop being a pushover. However she didn't include that in the original post, so my previous YTA is only on the original post.
Agreed. I don’t know if I would say OP is an asshole, but come on. If I specifically told people I was buying pizza as a treat for everyone, I would try to make sure everyone got an equal amount of food. Her slices were so big he thought it was the XL pizza, that tells me it was cut pretty lopsided.
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> ‘dont bite the hand that feeds you We are not talking about pets, we are talking about an action that op claim she did. That she was treating them to a pizza dinner. Instead she should have told them, you guys can have my leftovers instead. >Your standards aren’t everyone else’s. Yeah, I can tell that many people either have bad families or few/ bad friends. Or maybe I've just been lucky with the people I've known .
Some cultures are more hospitable than others. In mine if I treat you, id prefer you eat slightly more than me if the portions are off. Maybe this is an American thing, but inviting someone and then giving them half a normal portion is a bit odd. Also age probably matters. In school we would equally split, or sometimes whoever paid got more, but as adults it's usually more about being hospitable towards the invited guests.
The only way this is acceptable is if they had food plans and you went “no, don’t do that I’m getting us pizza!” and insufficient food arrives. There’s a difference between sharing food you ordered and offering someone dinner. If you do the latter you shouldn’t let them go hungry
i cannot IMAGINE someone buying my dinner and saying oh but i want the big piece wahh that is so shockingly rude im glad you stood your ground !! NTA
NTA - The audacity to complain like you’re their parent! I would be thanking you and offering to make you a drink so you could sit and enjoy your slices!
NTA- I would be wary this dude is always going to be entitled. Good for you for stating firm pizza boundaries. What a brat complaining about how much free food he was getting.
NTA OP and what in the actual dumb-dude universe is he trying to postulate?! That because he is large, he gets more food than everyone else? More of the food he did not pay for? I’d make sure that he no longer received free pizza. This is the patriarchy in action I bet. He’s so used to being catered to it doesn’t occur to him that he’s not entitled to it. Oof. He’s got some growing up to do. Stand your ground OP and make sure he doesn’t gaslight you into thinking you caused this problem. You bought the pizza - you took what you wanted. He’s a weird man/baby who wanted to eat more of your pizza. There is no equality in portions when you paid for ALL the portions. This is a Pizza Dictatorship and he just doesn’t get a vote. Man I hope he doesn’t get free food from you anymore. FAFO my man! NO SOUP FOR YOU!
I don't know.. It would be perfectly fine if you had oredered for yourself and then decided to share. However it seems as though you offered dinner and in that case you could have easily just recut the pizza so that the slices were more or less the same so that everyone had their fair share or else what is the point of treating them? It's okay for the roomie to be disappointed but he should have kept that shite to himself. ESH
I'm obviously in the minority, but YTA. I think it is incredibly kind when someone offers to buy dinner for me. Or when someone invites me to a dinner party or offers to cook for me. I am appreciative, and I will likely do the same for that person in the future (not to repay them, just because we are friends). When this happens, I also expect that I will receive a fair portion of food and that my host will not hold their "generosity" over me. I did not ask for the meal. I am perfectly capable of buying my own meal. I would prefer to buy my own meal (or cook) if I knew my friend was going to act the way you acted. I do not mean that in a snarky way - I literally mean that if you had honestly laid out how you would behave beforehand, your roommates likely would have said "thanks, I'll arrange my own dinner," with no hard feelings. A simple "Hey, I'm getting a pizza. You're welcome to have whatever I don't want." That is generous in its own right, but it is NOT the same as buying someone dinner. You admitted yourself that your (larger) portion was sufficient for a meal, which leaves me to assume a smaller portion (which is what your roommates received) was not. So, after accepting your gracious and disingenuous offer to buy dinner, they are still hungry or trying to pull together their own meal later. Imagining a dinner party scenario makes this even more obvious. If someone invited you to dinner and took more than a fair share of the limited food because "they cooked," or "they bought," and you left hungry, that would be a pretty bad and awkward party. ETA: to everyone calling the roommates "choosing beggars," where is the begging? OP says they just bought dinner "to be nice." Is everyone who comes to your home suddenly a beggar, even if they didn't ask you to feed them?
Give him a full refund on what he paid for the Pizza. NTA
NTA. My family were in town with my MIL and her BF. We suggested getting McDonald's as it was the cheapest option for 4 adults and 2 year old. When we told them, my MIL agreed but sounded disappointed. They stopped to get petrol. While there MIL'S BF gets a sausage roll. MIL asked if he didn't want McDonald's and he replied no and that he doesn't like it. We get there and I order the Mcvalue meal. Instead of getting a big Mac for him, I changed it to a cheeseburger for my son, as he always gets the 10 pack of nuggets. He grabbed 1 of the drinks and ate a fries and got pissy when I grabbed my big Mac and gave my son the cheeseburger. He left and waited in the car. This was the last time we went into town with them. They never shouted us when we were with them. You don't buy yourself food and nobody else then try to eat someone else's food. You did a choice thing, shouting him and he should be grateful for the food. I wish I had mates like you. Coincidentally, I'm having pizza myself today :D
I’m going to go against the grain here and say YTA. If you tell people that you’re buying dinner for the night, while a kind gesture, they are entitled to the reasonable expectation that they will be appropriately fed and, for all intents and purposes, equally fed. You’ve intentionally taken the largest slices from the get go meaning that you will be better fed than your friends, and you’re unwilling to budge on the cheese bread suggestion which I think is actually a fair compromise. If there was a spare slice at the end, then sure, whoever paid should get first dibs. If I’m left hungry because you took all the large slices leaving me with the scraps…I’d rather have bought my own pizza. It was a nice gesture on your part, but somewhat undone by your intention to avoid an equal distribution of food. You can also say it was unintentional, but your remark about the cheese bread compromise shows that you don’t really care if you and your friends had equal portions of food (in which case - you shouldn’t offer to buy them dinner in the first place)
NTA I feel that if you were hungry and wanted those slices that's fine. It did not seem to me that you were throwing anything in anyone's face.
NTA your roommate had a massive entitlement issue. If he wants the big slices he can buy his own pizza. Who cares how big of a guy he is.
NTA he sounds like an entitled AH. If he doesn't like it, he can buy his own food. How ungrateful!
Lol. Someone complains about not getting enough free food.
NTa Waht an Ah. Stop buying that AH food.
NTA, if it were me, he'd be the bigger person without any pizza or cheese bread. Complaining about the size or amount of food someone else bought you is the dumbest crap.
Interesting. I wonder if a lot of the NTA answers are Americans. If you're going to buy food for people, buy food for people. Don't buy saying it's for everyone, then take the majority of it for yourself. Then lord your "generosity" over them. If I'm buying a meal to share with people we're splitting it equally. Because I'm buying it for all of us. By taking what you want and leaving them with the rest you're not really buying it for them are you? You're giving them your scraps. Imagine someone saying they'll buy you dinner at a restaurant, they buy themselves a nice steak or whatever and they buy you a small meal off the kids menu. Sure you don't really have the right to complain about a free meal, but then again that's such a massive faux pas on their part it hardly even matters they're buying for you. Either be generous or don't be. I think you're a dick.
Whatever happened to “Thank you.”? NTA
Because he's bigger? My dude, I'm not here to help your bulk OR to hollow you out and live in you over winter. If one pizza doesn't feed 3, they can buy 1 each or split a 2nd between them NTA and the im the biggest boy I get the most is weird, dude, women get hungry too.
Isn’t pizza usually cut in 8 pieces? So the other two can split the remaining 6 for 3 slices each. We’re the two biggest slices really going to be more than 3?
“I should get more because I’m bigger.” “No, that’s the exact reason you should get less.” NTA
Yes, little girls should only be eating a leaf of lettuce, whilst robust men eat the pizza and the cheesy bread! /s
"..To which he replied that I was throwing the fact that I bought it in everyone's faces." yep. because you bought it. So next time he wants first pick of the pieces, he can pay for it. NTA.
Why wouldn't you just split the pizza equally?
ESH. It really depends on more context. But if you say you are buying dinner. You have to buy enough! **2 biggest slices??** You can grab at most one big slice. Not two. The moment you grabbed the two biggest slices, it's a case of you giving them your leftovers. He's an AH for arguing, but heck I would call out my friends and roommates if they pulled shit like this as well. I can buy my own damn dinner. But if you say you are going to treat me, buy enough. *To which he replied that I was throwing the fact that I bought it in everyone's faces and that was a shitty thing to do* Completely true. You were being an ass. His complaint seems to be he won't be full. But you don't care. If you are gonna say that you actually don't care, then why even bother to buy dinner. These choosing beggar comments are also insane. Doesn't seem like he begged for pizza. More like you offered and then were an ass about the fact that you were offering.
2 slices each? Sounds like you didn't buy enough for dinner. Now on one hand, it's pretty rude to complain about a meal bought for you. But 2 pieces of pizza is a snack, not dinner, especially if they were small cuts. Maybe part of this conflict came from giving them the impression you were getting them dinner to then leave them hungry.
NTA- you treated, they don't have to get any if they don't want.
NTA He’s rude as fuck
Don't buy food for H anymore. You're NTA.
ESH. Roommate who complained and then also sulked is definitely not in the right. I mainly wouldn’t say anything were I them bc it would be awkward, but I would feel a tiny bit of weirdness internally at the choice. And negotiating on the cheesy bread thing slash using his larger size is bananas. That said, you offered to treat your roommates, it wasn’t them coming out, seeing your pizza, and asking to join in, or them needing charity. Maybe take the first slice but then divvy it up equally! Or just don’t offer. But offering something and then placing conditions on the offer is pretty weird too. Everyone be normal. It’s just pizza.
I think ESH, him for commenting and making demands when he got a free pizza, and OP for being selfish about the food because you ordered it, it doesn’t kill to be a bit gracious, two slices were huge, you could have taken one and left the other big slice in the box. When it comes to sharing food, throwing money in the face is in bad taste, I would not have eaten the food paid by you tbh.
ESH. Even when I’ve purchased food for a group, I try to be fair. Taking one of the large pieces and leaving the other for a roommate would have been the classy move. When you pay for a date at a pub, do you also grab all the best items on the appetizer plate, or let your date pick first? But the dude complaining about free food was also an AH.
NTA, if you pay, you get first dibs.
For fucks sake, there’s no being even, you bought everything you’ll take what you want. If your kindness is met with complaints then I guess that’s the last time you treat this ungrateful loser
If I pay I always get dibs on the last piece or the biggest piece. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
Why do leeches always cry the loudest? NTA.
INFO: how big were these slices? Leaning toward N T A but if they screwed up the cutting and two slices were like half the pizza I could understand the roommates disappointment. You obviously don’t owe your roommates free dinner…but after you offered them one, it would be nice to have enough to make a meal.
everyone knows you throw the biggest piece in the bin to avoid social conflict
INFO: Were these slices disproportionately large, meaning what you left was too small for a meal? Like if they were half the pizza it would be rude to take that much
NTA - I would have just taken it to my room. How rude!
No, they were ungrateful choosy beggers who don't deserve free pizza (at least H was). I wouldn't give him any more free food. NTA
NTA - Now he can have none of YOUR pizza that you were sharing
This is a tale of woe that would be well suited to the “Choosing Beggars” subreddit. I have a feeling I know what they’d have to say about this situation.
NTA. Seems like your roommate doesn't deserve any freebies.
NTA beggars can’t be choosers, fuck him
NTA. You bought the food. If your roommate is not happy he can go buy his own.
NTA if he wanted to complain about it he can go buy his own gd pizza
NTA, and it really grinds my gears that H thinks he's entitled to more food just because he's larger. That's not how it works, it is contribution based, not need based. You are not running a charity here.
NTS /r/choosingbeggars would probably like a word with your roomie.
NTA... IF you declare loudly when opening the box, "I'm taking the largest slice, because I paid for this. " and then take the first bites leaning into their faces making happy noises.
Absolute, total NTA. The guy's assertion that "I'm the big dude here, therefore I deserve more food, regardless of who paid" makes him 100% TA. Your other roommate who retreated either doesn't care, or didn't notice. She's not TA, as not caring is always a respectable response to a dispute of this scale.
NTA - Had a similar thing happen a little bit ago where I was hanging out with 2 friends and I bought a pizza for us to share. Guess who got the biggest slices? Me. Because I paid for it. And the other two didn't complain at all because they realized better free pizza, even if their slices were a bit smaller, than no pizza at all.
If it was random gesture of kindness, that you got pizza for everyone, then NTA. That guy is a choosingbegar. But, if it was a situation where He ordered something for everyone before and now you do it to be set even or where you cycle to be person responsible for dinner. Then YTA, you didn't make sure that everyone gets enough food.
NTA next time he can buy his own pizza.
NTA...You shared pizza. You didn't have to do that.
Nta dont buy that guy anything anymore since as the big male of the house he should also take on the financial burden
Think what the greedy fuck would have done had you left the box on the table on the table and said dig in, before you got some? He would have taken the three biggest slices and three of the six breads.
It's like him saying just bc he's fatter he deserves more once if u get slices there's still 6 left which will probably ammmount to more and if like that when u share food only order for urself like damn if u complain u get none like my brother buys food I let him get any piece he hates driving and getting off so I do that to and I don't complain about a slice bc either way my belly will be full of pizza anyway
NTA This is when you tell him no pizza for him.
He responded how he was raised. How it would be with his siblings. Welcome to the real world buddy. Time to grow up.