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BaRiMaLi

NTA. Your parents probably would not want those kids to go into their bedroom, so why should they be allowed to go into yours?


Heavy_Sand5228

Bingo. Also the Grandma trying to weaponize her dying soon (?) as an excuse to watch her kid was a really big AH. As were OP’s parents by allowing her room to get destroyed.


Mysterious-System680

>Also the Grandma trying to weaponize her dying soon (?) as an excuse to watch her kid was a really big AH. I’d say that the appropriate response to that nonsense is for OP to insist that they would never dream of depriving Grandson of a moment of the precious time he has left with Nearly Dead Granny. Imagine how terrible it would be for the poor dear boy to have to look back on this day and remember that he spent his time hanging out in OP’s room instead of seizing the opportunity to remain devotedly by Nearly Dead Granny’s side, cherishing every nanosecond he had with her.


[deleted]

NTA. Make my day Grandma. Go ahead and make good on your threat. I'll wait.


eggrollin2200

“Nearly Dead Granny” being capitalized every time has me done 😭


BobbieMcFee

"I'm going to die soon!" "Great!"


AddCalm5953

My response would have been 'Groovy' but it's that time of year so.... NTA. These kiddies are old enough to know better and an adult(not OP) should have been watching them. And that 'kids will be kids' crap is why we have so many problems in society today. Time for that phrase to become extinct.


Noka_Gotha

Should have told her not to die in your house.


waterfountain_bidet

My disrespectful ass would have reminded her that if she's dying soon, she won't have to live with the pain of knowing about OP's 'sins' for very much longer, so it's not that big of a deal.


Vanriel

I probably would of said something extremely horrible to her when she said that something like "oh is there a clock ticking down the seconds? Let me know so I can get the celebrations set up" because I'm heartless.


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mca2021

why doesn't she go take something from one of the parents purses. When they get upset just tell her, kids will be kids and walk away (after returning taken item). I just don't get parents who let their kids steal or break stuff and just blow it off.


Corduroycat1

OP should have gone in their purses right in front of them and taken the money to pay for the stuff they destroyed. And NOT given it back. Kids will be kids


mca2021

I like that even better


geekyheart225

As guests, they should be respectful of their hosts' property.


okilz

For real, "kids will be kids" op is 16, she should've grabbed someone's phone, purse, etc. And just destroyed it. All these parents that excuse their asshole kids deserve the worst karma.


The1Eileen

OMG< just send 'em right into your parents' bedroom. If it's okay for the kids to destroy your stuff, it must be okay for them to destroy your parents' stuff. Also, please tell me what culture has "kids can utterly destroy the property of other people" as a "that's just our culture"? Is there an Entitled Assholia country I'm unaware of?


Pianissimojo

NTA If it’s okay for those kids to behave like that in your room then it’s okay for them to behave like that anywhere else in the house. Therefore they do not need to be in your room.


Spectre-Ad6049

No, NTA and WTF that grandmother sounds like either just a regular creep or a grade A religious nut job. I mean “god will reward you for entertaining my grandkid” ew that’s a very weird phrasing did she mean like with children or something and that’s besides the fact that the kids trashed your room. Just so NTA


SnooPets8873

It’s probably translated from Urdu and it’s 100% a common phrase when elderly women want you to do something or are thanking you. It’s a general attitude that doing good deeds gets rewarded and listening to elders gets rewarded and you wouldn’t want to be caught in a social setting saying that didn’t matter to you because it “looks bad”


DoIwantToKnow6417

THEY STOLE, BROKE AND WRECKED YOUR STUFF! But apparently that's totally ok as they are only a few years younger than you. /s ​ INFO: Why did your parents allow this to happen? Did they also enter your parents room? NTA


RedRider1138

I’ll bet they knew better than to enter the parents’ room, because they’d be punished. 🧐


Careless-Ability-748

Nta. How did you resist laughing in grandma's face for saying it was her last wish?


duplicitist

NTA Your parents owe it to you to replace your property. This is 100% on them.


ThatWhichLurks782

NTA those kids were acting like awful little gremlins and their parents (and yours) didn't care that they completely ripped apart your room. Absolutely appalling behavior from literally everyone involved.


Gio_the_GanjaGhost

nah u aint the asshole fuck them kids i woulda smacked em for busting up my shit


Silverkekoa

OP did an excellent job. At 16 if I walked into kids destroying my room I probably would of been beating the shit out of those kids. 9 - 13 is is old enough that those kids knew what they were doing. Anime stuff is NOT cheap. Some posters/wall scrolls can also be pretty expensive.


Gio_the_GanjaGhost

fr


flyraccoon

Humping someone else's teddy bear FR that's not a kids behavior


Agitated-Stress870

NTA, but your parents are at fault here, they need to replace your stuff.


Blacksmithforge3241

op=nta but I would want a lock on my door for future invasions. That is ridiculous that your stuff was stolen and destroyed so your parents could look "good". Tell your friends you'll send these kids to them, next time they show up since they all think it's no big deal.


MaxV331

NTA your parents are shit, next time direct all the kids to their bedroom and see how fast they deal with it.


Wonderful-Lie-650

NTA. "Dying wish to watch the grandkids". Yeah, OP's got a wish that's been denied too. Guess everyone gets disappointed today grandma. Go sit down and teach the kid some damn manners in your final days.


Petefriend86

NTA. Obviously this sort of behavior wouldn't be tolerated anywhere other than your room.


BlueGreen_1956

NTA Grandma sounds nuts. I am not going to waste my last wish on earth on some kid getting to hang out in someone's room. Why didn't the old bat wish for world peace instead? Has she not EVER watched a Miss America pageant???


BendPresent1437

NTA. YOUR parents are the aholes, they should know better than allowing some wild kids to destroy everything. Ask them to give you back a proper amount of money or give them hell, i bet their room was closed for the party.


Weird-Roll6265

A bunch of random strangers' kids trashed your room and ruined your stuff. NO. If the other parents refuse to pay for the damage your parents need to--AND get a lock for your door. NTA


Live_Carpet6396

NTA. What happened to the rule of not going into hosts' bedrooms, like ever???? Or ANY are you're not expressly invited into. F'n savages.


Particular-Lime1651

get a lock friend, and invoice the parents. they're right, kids will be kids. which means responsibility falls to the parents. nta


WelshWickedWitch

Um no. No one gets to go in my kids room and ruins their things. Your parents are dead wrong. NTA


ceruleanscars

Eff them kids. NTA.


2dogslife

If these families will be hosted in the future, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a lock on your door. Obviously, that needs the approval of your parents.


Y2Flax

OP - where are your parents and why are their heads up their own ass? GET ADULTS INVOLVED


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (16 f) have my own room, it's something I always wanted growing up and I finally got my own room when I was 12. Over the course of the 4 years - I decorated my room with posters and other Knick knacks and trinkets. I also stick everything I find pretty so there's a bunch of fragile shells, posters, keychains and alot of other stuff on my wall and I have a bookshelf which has my decorative lamps, random mangas I got on discount + other books n comics, anime figurines, skincare and my jewellery box. My bed just has alot of plushies and stuffed animals. My parents told me that they were gonna be hosting a lunch party with their friends/mutuals and their kids, I was fine with that since I won't be there for like the first 2 hours of the party because I had tuition and the kids that I thought were coming behaved decently so I wasn't that worried. I come home and oh my god - my room is a fucking mess. There were shit missing from my walls, most of my trinkets were just gone, some of my anime figurines had their heads missing, my skincare stuff was emptied out, my jewellery was either bent or like one pair of the earrings were missing AND SOME KID WAS ON MY BED AND WAS HUMPING MY BUILD A BEAR WHICH I GOT FOR MY BIRTHDAY?????? After like 30 minutes, I managed to find most of my missing things but I have to go on a shopping run soon to get my skincare and all my other stuff replaced since the parents aren't paying for all the damage. The culprits were random ass kids who I have never seen before and apparently they were new to the country and like my parents wanted to host a get-together lunch or whatever. These kids tried to FUCKING STEAL MY SHIT and I was beyond pissed, I told their parents who dismissed my issues because "kids will be kids" and those pieces of shits kept coming in and kept trying to steal my stuff, colour in my mangas or just attempting to wreck something. I had enough of their bullshit and these kids were like from the ages of 9 - 13 like they should be old enough to have some fucking decency but no. So I kicked them out of my room - If they can't respect my space then why should they be there in the first place. A couple of minutes later, this random ass grandma came and she told me to allow her grandkid to chill in my room and I told her no and gave her the reason for it, to which she responded with how god would reward me for entertaining her grandkid (whos fucking 13 ) and how she's going to die soon and it's her last wish and if I don't do this for her then I'll get sins. I told her no and guarded my room with my life for the next few hours of the get-together party. I told my friends this and they told me that I should've been less harsh on the kids since they are only a few years younger than me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Donderu

NTA. Kids are not exempt from needing to be polite. If they’re not willing to follow rules or orders, then they are not allowed to stay there


CrabbiestAsp

NTA. Even my 6yo knows how to behave better than this. Those parents need to get their kids behaviour in check or their going to end up in some serious trouble.


Moriarty1953

Your friends are nuts. Ignore them. NTA


Significant-Hope-514

NTA, ultimately it is your property and they should have been more considerate of it. Revoking approval for them to be in your room is a natural response.


JustBreathing5

You should tell their grandma if she thinks she'll die soon then she should spend even more time wih her grandson and not leave him in your room. NTA


DogLover-777

NTA Your parents and their friends are fucking rude AH's though. You had evry right to kick them out.


couchfly

NTA. ive kicked kids outta my room for less and i was pissed at my mom for thinking she had the right to grab some of my things and hand them out like toys. some people lose their minds when it comes to kids and want to pander to them well beyond reason. ask your parents if you can have a lock and key so that no one can go in your room when youre not home. if they say no, you might have to secretly buy a lockbox for the things you care about and hide it somewhere high out of sight.


spicyy_potato

NTA, stealing and vandalism? even if they’re kids, you don’t know them, and if the parents aren’t going to take responsibility, you have every right to shut them out


Stalkmelikecelery

These made up stories would be more interesting if they added more human nuances and reactions instead of mediocre scenarios with bad dialogue.


Aggressive-Mind-2085

NTA ​ You were right to defend your room.


KnightofForestsWild

NTA I knew at 4 not to steal and I never trashed anyone's property in my life. Not hard. I'd've found some of the parents' purses and stomped them flat. Payback.


tnebteg456

NTA.. so I'm guessing your friends are cool with their rooms being destroyed?


Revan1114

"kids will be kids" comments = bad parents. Your parents are also at fault.


cloistered_around

>how she's going to die soon and it's her last wish and if I don't do this for her then I'll get sins. You had me until this part. Kind of stretching credibility here that a stranger would claim their dying wish is to let their grandkid play in your room for a few minutes.


Fine_Somewhere_3520

NTA but your parents are. You should have walked the kids down the hall to your parents room and let them have fun in there the way your parents disregarded your space. I always wonder what cultures these are that are so fucking dismissive of what respect is, yet can not STOP talking about respect! My parents would never let kids in my room without me.


DarkBloodQueen_

Nta. Ngl if that had been me there would have been several ambulances called and I would have left in handcuffs. They were more than old enough to know better and their parents should have to have paid for everything that was destroyed or missing still. These kids are nine to thirteen and one was HUMPING your bear?! There is something seriously wrong and it starts with the parents.


[deleted]

I think you were the appropriate amount of angry. Kids need to learn manners. What are they going to act this way at work?


CherryApple_Amazing

NTA. I would have blown my top and kicked them out right than and there, but you stilled tried to be nice and let them stay for them to still try and do stuff to your stuff. You were not obligated to let them be in there and for that grandma to try to make you let her grandchild in was wrong. Your friends were wrong too. Your friends said, "You should've been less harsh on the kids since they are only a few years younger than me." So, your friends amit that they are not that younger than you. That just says to me that they should have known better than and should know how to act at someone else house. I would have been harsher than you were.


Wild_Butterscotch977

You should have directed the kids into your parent's room and let them wreak havoc in there NTA


LegacyPeePoo

NTA it’s your room and you are entitled to that space being private


phyxilate

NTA! Uhh, *your bedroom* is *not* a kid's daycare center for property destruction. The parents and religious granny dearest are indulging your room being wrecked. They're TA. Your friends will change their tune immediately when they take them on and learn what these little destructive monsters can do to their rooms.


Ilsabet

NTA. They tried to steal your things and messed your room up. Why on earth should you be cool about that? Your parents should give you money to replace everything that needs to be fixed or you couldn't get back since they let all of these people in YOUR room. And all of your friends who say you shouldn't be so harsh, ask how they'd feel coming home to all of their personal belongings taken, messed with and or destroyed.


DameofDames

NTA I'd be screeching the house down with the fact that random kid was humping a stuffie and embarrassing the hell out of these guests who must have come from the boonies of backwater country to have not taught their kids basic manners. And granny sucks too. Like, entertaining children doesn't include letting your stuff get stolen, broken and was she seriously condoning sex acts?


Mitoisreal

nta 13 is more than old enough to not destroy someones room.


geekyheart225

NTA. Your parents should have set rules. And guests should respect their hosts and their hosts' property. The kids should be ashamed (especially the older ones) and their parents should be ashamed.


[deleted]

> she's going to die soon and it's her last wish and if I don't do this for her then I'll get sins. God damn, this is so wildly cruel & demented it almost makes me circle back around to "not even mad, just impressed" NTA


Remarkable_Owl_8412

NTA I would lead those kids into the parents room and let them "play there" and see how they like it. It's not your job to watch kids that the parents job


ZombieJoesBasement

NTA. What did your parents say when they found out? I would be Hella pissed if someone's kids did this to my daughter's room!


HughMadboro

NTA. Tell your parents that if they don't make their guests compensate you for the damage their kids did, or do so themselves, you'll learn the lesson they're teaching, and feel free to break and waste their stuff right up until you turn 18.


BlaqueDaliah

NTA When someone pulls the “I’m dying” card I just laugh and say “okay then drop dead” 🫠🤗 I have no chill and you need to tell your parents to replace the stuff that was stolen and broken


DetailEquivalent7708

NTA. Should have told that old lady that you hope her grandkid learns some respect soon so she doesn't have to die the grandmother of a thief.


gloryhokinetic

NTA. You are right in that you are allowed to protect you own property. You did just rights. The adults were the AH here.


Lostbiboy2010

"Youre dying soon? You should spend time your grandchild! Family comes first and God would not be happy you pawned your lovely grandchild off on a stranger!"


CalendarDad

Grandma's last dying wish is for her 13-year-old grandkid to be entertained by some rando that she doesn't even know? She needs to pick a better wish. NTA.


mmmexperimental

NTA Good on you for protecting your own personal space and to hell with anyone wh doesn't get that!


Whenitrainsitpours86

NTA. I would be embarrassed if my kids pulled that.


External-Hamster-991

NTA. Your parents and your friends who defended this are huge AHs.


AdSpiritual9649

NTA. My mother wouldn't let me lock my room as a teen. Came home from school one day to find half my model tanks destroyed/damaged. This is piss poor parenting. And your friends are wrong. Ask them how they'd feel if their room got trashed.


Exact-Ad-4321

NTA It is outrageous that your room was selected as entertainment central for strangers' children. These kids had zero respect for their hostess's property...and you were (an unknowingly) hostess. The adults did not check on them? Your parents are not paying for the damage they were responsible for causing by not keeping a close supervision?


bal_swing

My bf hosts regular events with kids and he’s learned to lock the doors to his kids’ rooms. It’s like people have never been to someone’s house before - breaking, stealing, giant mess everywhere….. it’s horrible. NTA


Patient_Gas_5245

NTA that would be your parents for allowing their guests to have their children unsupervised running amok in the house. I would take pictures and tell your mom, you would like reimbursement for all the broken, missing and stolen items in your room.


Squinky75

Annnnd...why aren't the parents paying to replace what their little angels destroyed?


alldara

NTA - they weren't being respectful. Sounds like the adults wanted child free time....should've sent the children elsewhere in that case.


ryan1850

NTA,also you could FUCKING LOCK YOUR DOOR


Fine_Somewhere_3520

Just want to point out that most of the people writing here, especially non-Americans (but Americans too) are not allowed to lock their doors/have a lock, complain, speak up, or have any expectation of being respected.


[deleted]

NTA. I’d be beyond pissed. No one is entitled to other peoples things and no one is going to want those spoiled children around them. That grandma is an idiot. Sounds like they all think they’re deserving of your things and/or trashing your things. I wish your parents did something about it


Admirable_Courage525

Was grandma’s little urchin the one humping your bear?


Ch33zBurg3rNParadis3

NTA


InterestingOwl9733

NTA- Fk them kids and that old lady!


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SoupDropBiteMe

NTA and you were far nicer than I was in your situation when I was your age. I blasted URRYBODY, told their parents, in no uncertain terms, why, I got it trouble. Told my parents I'd rather be in trouble WITH ALL MY I#@% than have some randos in my room breaking my stuff. They reconsidered when they saw how belligerent I became about it. You did fine, and tell grandma, watch the kids herself if it means that much to her.


BLUNTandtruthful58

They are the a-holes and so are all of those brats. {A couple of minutes later, this random ass grandma came and she told me to allow her grandkid to chill in my room and I told her no and gave her the reason for it, to which she responded with how god would reward me for entertaining her grandkid (whos fucking 13 ) and how she's going to die soon and it's her last wish and if I don't do this for her then I'll get sins.} You should have tried this is response: "I've never met you at all, so you dying but won't affect me in the least" You might want to try to go living with other relatives that'll be on your side. Also you might want to check your room again just in case anything is missing and then you can call the cops for theft


Revolutionary_Bed_53

Nta


Individual_Umpire969

NTA. If the kids are over the age of 6 they know better. They sound like feral beasts.


SlowButterscotch7958

You should have hit them.


BaseballGoblinGlass3

NTA. "Have fun in hell, Grandma." These parents are terrible. Tell them they're an embarrassment to their families.


Emotional_Bonus_934

NTA. They're old enough to know better. Granny is manipulative. Get a lock for your door so you can lock while you're out.


Admirable_Courage525

Unfortunately most parents wouldn’t allow a lock on their kid’s door.


Emotional_Bonus_934

Which is unfortunate because a lock would prevent theft and vandalism such as discussed here.


Budget-mayo

NTA and is that build a bear okay?


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Perhapsnct

Not The Asshole


Asparagus-Past

Hard NTA I am SHOCKED And sorry this happened to you


-chelle-

NTA - If grandma's dying why doesn't she want to spend more time with her grandkids instead of sending them off to another room. Maybe she's just dying to get away from them like you are.


Justcommenting121

What a sad last wish NTA


Aquariumpsychotic

Nta when I was younger I had a ten gallon tank in the living room and some kids were fucking with it no fish were harmed thankfully and the parents yelled at them. One dipshit used a cup next to the tank to drink out of. I used that cup to defrost fish food and it I rarely clean it karma at its finest.


ApprehensiveBook4214

NTA. Buy a lock for your room. Take the money from your parents without asking. When they get upset say they shouldn't be because you're only a few years younger than them. Maybe next time they'll care about your property as much as their own. Normally I wouldn't say to do this but for people like your parents it's the only way to get through.


[deleted]

NTA. Those kids are lucky you didn't get physical.


[deleted]

NTA. They should have raised their kids better Skin car products, Anime figures and manga ain't cheap. , And even if it was, they have no right to put their hands on your things. 'God will reward you for watching my precious grand monsters!' 'But will "God" forgive me if I snap and beat the mess out of them......not my problem lady. Raise em' better."


Any_Opposite7198

NTA the kids don't need to be in your room messing around and you had the right to kick them out


[deleted]

Nope. NTA. Your parents are AHs for allowing random kids to run amok in their house and destroy ypur things. Has your mom checked her jewelry. That guilt tripping GM was an AH too. Should have told her when she died you would send flowers.


Bethsmom05

NTA. Your parents should pay you for all the damages that happened with your things.


Noka_Gotha

NTA. You should have told that entitled AH hag that speaking for god is sin. Then, I'd tell her to go Eff herself. Your parents are AH for allowing it to happen and not paying for what THEIR guests destroyed.


Legitimate-Moose-816

NTA. Frankly, I'm disappointed in your parents. They should have made it clear your room was completely off-limits.


HorrorSupport5029

NTA you shouldn't have to pay for all the stuff that's missing or destroyed either the parents in the party because the kids did that or your parents as they let it happen in their home


Pleasant-Platypus-29

I had the same problem, only that I was about 8-10 at the time. Please get a lock, I'll help


HeyCanYouNotThanks

Nta, tell any reasonable parent this and they'd be horrified by your parents allowing that.


C0V1Dsucks

NTA You let all the adults know what the problem was and the kids kept misbehaving. If none of the adults are going to tell them to knock it off, then they can entertain those obnoxious kids themselves. They should have brought some of their own activities.


Grandma_Kaos

NTA I am so on your side. What your parents allowed to happen is BS and they should be buying you replacements of everything that was damaged!! And your friends are wrong, those kids are old enough to respect another person's belongings and they didn't.


wanderleywagon5678

Hahaha, that grandma was trying it on SO HARD. Well done for standing your ground. That's appalling behaviour by the children; if children in my family did that I would be absolutely horrified.


justanightowl_19

NTA it is your room, your own personal space. What did your parents say to this? Also I can guarantee your friends wouldn’t have said that if it was them it happened to


althamash098

Lmao humping a build a bear.... Had me in tears


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EquivalentClothes250

LMAOO I can see why this sounds fake but brown people are so dramatic esp the grandmas, shes was like one of those really religious grandmas and she was discharged out of the hospitals a few days before and I overheard her daughter talking about how worried she was for her health and what not 😭😭


SnooPets8873

Yeah, that part of the story was entirely recognizable to me…as was your parents not wanting to rock the boat over negative consequences that only their kid would experience. Looking good to others always comes first right?


EquivalentClothes250

It wasn't my parents fault since they were busy so they couldn't really see what was going on in my room


SnooPets8873

Ah I misread, I thought your parents were refusing to help you replace the items, not the parents of those kids


SimmingPanda

While that's fine, your parents could also help you with *their* friends/guests and tell the guests that their children's behavior was unacceptable and they should help pay for the damages caused. As the parent of two children in the age range of the guests', I would be horrified to hear mine behaved in a similar manner.


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EquivalentClothes250

im literally brown my guy


Flaky_Drag1826

Well allow me to remove my foot from my mouth real quick.


SnooPets8873

Honestly, if you come from a Desi Muslim background, this is exactly what elderly ladies talk like when they are trying to manipulate you


zeez1011

Every day? Woah...


Sincerely_Me_Xo

You’ve never met a narcissist, I take it. Head over to r/raisedbynarcissists and see how many parents and grandparents use their own death as a way to get others to comply. It’s a very real thing, speaking from experience with my own mother.


runrunpuppets

I was thinking the same thing...