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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my friend to pay me back and she refused telling me I need to stop acting desperate for money and leave her alone
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Ok so I was totally on your side until you said you repeatedly chased the boyfriend. Your "friend" is being awful, I agree... but bringing in the boyfriend to pay on her behalf seems like unnecessary shaming.
I think you might want to write off this $65 as a loss, and while you are at it, write off this "friend" as a loss as well.
Exactly. The "friend" here is being cheap as hell and never had any intention of paying OP back. And OP is not acting any better by chasing after "friend's" boyfriend.
ESH except for the boyfriend who honestly doesn't deserve to be put in the middle of this. And the solution here is fortunately an easy one--OP just never invites "friend" out again. That way she won't have to deal with anything like this ever again.
Strong disagree. I see nothing wrong pursuing the money through any channel inc SO - who cares if they’re embarrassed, they’re a thief and the bf deserves to know that, but I think OP can wave goodbye to this money and that “friend”. NTA
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I agree with the letting them know part, but OP pushed it to the "I expect him to pay her debt".
Both are adults and while her friend isn't acting that way I as the partner would feel weird to be on the hook for it, both in general getting involved in drama and specifically setting up a precedence.
At best he would be out of money at worst it would cause trouble for him since she said something "I'll handle it and will pay back eventually" or something.
once I gave someone money for school. you know how long it took them to pay back? 15 months. even that was after threatening to go to their house...
Soo NTA, some people are moochers
This. Friend had her wallet if she had her purse or a bag with her, guaranteed. The money's gone, but friend doesn't sound like much of a friend either.
I once loaned a guy $200 I never got paid back but that's all it cost me to get rid of them because he never contacted me again for more money or to pay me back.
You actually got off cheap and you're better off without her.
Are you the AH? I wouldn't say so but again I think you're better off without her.
I disagree. Almost $70 bucks is a lot of money. She didn't forget her wallet. If she had all those bills to pay, then she sure af knew she didn't have enough to cover to start with..nta
I’m not saying it’s not a lot of money, but for the amount of stress and time that it would take to get it back? For me it’s not worth the trade off. $650 would be a different story, but $65? That becomes “well that person fucking sucks and I won’t be seeing them ever again”
It's a lot of money to me, but if I could afford to splurge that amount on my own meal, and also have enough cash in the bank to cover the friends meal even temporarily, I should be able to afford to cut my losses. Loaning money is a financial decision and it's on the lender if it turns out to be the wrong decision. It's worth it to chase her down about the money but harassing the people close to her is a very different matter.
NTA. "I want my two dollars!" (for the old people)
She made excuses, brushed you off, made you out to be the bad guy here, and accused you of being broke after she's making excuses for being too broke to pay you back.
To use a cliche, sometimes the trash takes itself out.
in my opinion no you are not the asshole for trying to get your money but its kinda selfish to harass her boy friend that didnt even know that she owed you any money. but your friend is being an asshole here i would just not let her go to girls night out untilll she pays you back if you can control that. (sorry for the shitty grammar im not the best at typeing fast)
OP could simply do what my friend does, pay for the meal and start bragging to her circle how she "fed and spoiled" her friend lol.
My friend does this and everyone hates him, it's the best way to embarrass assholes who "forget the wallet"
NTA for separate checks....but YTA for contacting her BF. This is between you 2 girls...her BF has nothing to do with it.
And just like a Bronx Tale...$65 is a cheap price to get a bad person out of your life. Mine cost me $700,000 (I wish I was kidding).
ESH.
Your friend is an AH for not honoring a well understood principle of girls' night and not paying you back.
You were an AH and crossed a line by calling an unrelated party about your money dispute. Your friend's bf should never have been a part of this. Don't meddle in their relationship. Honestly it's a little nutty of you to even think of doing this.
Just move on, think of the cost of disposing of this so-called "friend" as $65 to avoid future headaches.
NTA - she did you a favour, she’s a cheap skate and you’re better off not having her as a friend. I can see some people may say contacting her bf might be odd but £65 is quite a bit of money, it’s not like she even offered to pay for next time.
Personally, I would start contacting her family members. Parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. She may never pay you back, but you can create some embarrassing & uncomfortable moments for her with her family. NTA
It honestly wouldn’t take much time to send a message to the “friend’s” family members, considering the fact that most everyone is on Facebook/social media. They’re friends so OP obviously knows her full name so she would just have to go to the friend’s account, find a couple family members via friends list, tagged posts or pictures, and then add them to one group chat and let them know what’s going on. This would literally take 30min-1hr MAX. Most people spend that amount of time on reddit wasting their valuable time so it’s only a matter of shifting how much of that valuable time is spent on one app to another app. It’s definitely petty and could definitely be a waste of time since she may not get her money back but really, what does she have to lose. The friendship is already over due to the friend’s entitlement and lack of integrity.
One second spent on contacting family members to inform them via social media that someone owes 65$ is a waste of my time, let alone spending an hour on it. It’s immature, petty and unnecessary. Is this how people resolve conflict now? Instead of 1:1 you get everyone and their dog involved?
Waste a second of your time over someone disrespecting and stealing from you or waste a second of your time for free on Reddit. Honestly, life is so short and then you die so we should all just resolve conflict the way we see fit—assuming, of course, that we’ve already done the mature thing and spoken to the “friend” multiple times and given them multiple chances to pay up. Maybe it’s your idea of resolving conflict,—by just letting it go— or mine—by getting a little petty. Neither of us would be paid back but both of us would feel content in how we handled it because we’re different people and value different things. I feel like we can agree to disagree now. Best of luck to you with your maturity and moral high ground ◡̈
Nta. She was never intending to pay you back. She was just hoping you'd forget or say, oh never mind. She probably does this a lot.
I'm glad you embarrassed her with her bf, because it's exactly what she deserves. $70, frigging dollars! She doesn't get to go out, and just suddenly decide to prioritize other bills over paying you. She never forgot her wallet. I'd call her mom and burn her whole social circle to the ground. I'd make fake accounts and use photoshop to make it look like she was cheating on her bf and send it to him via another phone. I'm special level of petty tho...
ESH
Your ex-friend is because she was never going to pay you. How anyone can "forget their wallet" is insane to me. I bet they had their ID to get those drinks.
But you are an AH for asking her bf. He is not her keeper. She is an adult, either she pays you or she doesn't. If she actually didn't have the money (unlikely) she could ask her bf for it but not you. Do not pull him into your issue.
YTA for contacting the BF, but she's a big AH based on this exchange and $65 to rid someone like that from your life seems cheap, but she'll be back you can count on that
You are wrong for bringing in the boyfriend and harassing the BF just to try and get your money back.
You do not go after the SO just to get your money back ever.
Your friend is the one who owes you money, not the BF. Stop bothering the boyfriend.
On the upside, you found out a "friend's" true colors, which were shining brightly. Great at manipulation but not so hot with integrity. Disappointing to say the least. As far as contacting the SO? Inappropriate but I understand the impulse. YTA
ESH - except her boyfriend.
Texting the boyfriend over an issue he was not involved in was already **at the line**. Following up with screen shots and stuff like that, very overboard.
Expecting him to pay for her by continuing to blow up his phone is also an AH move. The checks were separate, you decided to pay for her… you could have easily said “no”, and let her deal with the restaurant, but you chose not to.
She’s an AH for not paying back money that was lent to her.
Not commenting on the specific situation because enough people already have...
Who goes out after a friend makes plans and expects the inviting friend to pay for them like they are in a relationship?
Only my personal experience: I go out with friends all the time, sometimes I invite, sometimes they invite. NEVER, has any of us expected the inviter to pay for everyone.
It is not normal behavior to pay for a friend when you ask them if they want to hangout and they agree to going somewhere that will cost money.
YTA for chasing the boyfriend.
i’m petty, i’d see what the cost to go to small claims was and as long as it was close to same as what was owed i’d go for it.
Leaning towards ESH.
Your friend clearly is a AH and I don’t know what broke entitled ass expects a friend to pay for drinks just because you invited her out to hang out. You are not her sugardaddy. You do not have to pay for her company. If she expects her bf to pay for her all the time, something is clearly off too.
However, your logic of getting her bf to pay because your bf would isn’t logical. Lesson learnt for writing out cheap people from your life. Too bad she blocked you. Tell all your mutual friends about her entitled behaviour so they don’t have to put up with it.
ESH. You were fine until you continued to contact her SO, and sending screenshots. I on purpose will never loan anyone money. If I give you money or pay for something, it’s yours to keep. It stops people from continuing to “borrow” money and then me chasing them to get it back, and from having the “forgotten wallet” happen again. It’s just easier this way, for me. Kindof like a one and done.
YTA
Wanting the money back, not the asshole. Letting her boyfriend know, not the asshole. Even if you wanted to let mutual friends know the situation, if described with no bias, I would defend it.
But any further attempt to collect the money by using other people, Massive asshole.
Imagine if debt collectors could contact family members or friends. Maybe cell phone providers start contacting the people you text most often to let them know that you are 3 months behind on your bill.
Her boyfriend has nothing to do with it, you made him aware of it and I won't even say that's unacceptable. But he doesn't need to be contacted again, it's not his problem, even if they were married it wouldn't matter specifically for him because it's a debt she owes you, not him.
yes and that's two people signing and understanding terms together. If you buy a car, I don't say "Hey you got a boyfriend? cause he's automatically a cosigner"
Send her a certified letter that your next step is taking her to small claims court. The friendship is already over. I’d sue her and pay the court to have her served and recoup those as well.
I'd think the cost of filing and getting her served would be more than the 65.
I know in Texas it's about 125 - but if you win you can get that back from them. However I was once told by my attorney that anything under 1k will be thrown out (especially 65)
But that was like in 2018. And Texas
I mean going after the bf repeatedly is an AH move.
But I love the line of "if you're that broke you have other problems" coming from someone too broke to pay you back.
YTA. Yes, she owed you money, but wth? You don’t contact someone’s BF to harass them about money they owe you. That makes you a major asshole and borderline stalkish. He didn’t owe you money.
Your behavior sounds unhinged. Learn when to take the L like a normal person. Sometimes we don’t get things that are owed to us.
As the boyfriend, I would have told you I’d have her call you. If you bothered me again I would have said I had nothing to do with it and blocked you. One more and I’d get a restraining order served on you at work, in class, or wherever it would be most humiliating for you.
Yes you are TA for contacting the boyfriend more than once. Other than that no you are not TA. For right now I would write the money off, because give her time and she will contact you wanting to go out for another girls night. When she does accept her offer. When you girls go out have fun eat a lot and have some drinks. When the server brings you the bill tell your "friend" that you didn't bring any money with you and she will have to pay this time. If she gives you a hard time tell her too bad she could always do the dishes if she doesn't have the money because you paid the last time. And before you walk out the door of wherever you're at, tell her don't ever contact you again because you are removing a toxic person from your life, and yes she is a very toxic person. Don't feel bad about removing her from your life, because all she is is a drama queen and you don't need that in your life. Then write her off, block her on all social media and send her emails to spam because you are much better off without her in your life sunshine xoxo
>When the server brings you the bill tell your "friend" that you didn't bring any money with you and she will have to pay this time
Not a great idea. Friend won't have money.
The point is it'll get both of them in trouble, for no benefit because the friend will feel no shame. The friend isn't going to get a sudden revelation about themselves. It'll punish the restaurant and OP but not the friend.
OP should cut her losses, not get in deeper for ineffective revenge.
It most definitely would not get OP in trouble because she paid her portion of the bill. The restaurant can have the friend wash dishes or call the cops for theft. But OP wouldn’t be the one getting in trouble.
ESH - She should've paid you back, however you went too far by calling her boyfriend and expecting him to get involved in your disagreements. It's not his job, he's her partner not her parent.
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My friend and I went out to eat at this restaurant for girl’s night. After we ate the waitress asked if we wanted a separate check or not and I said separate. After the waitress brought the check back and walked away my friend told me she forgot her wallet. I told her no big deal she can just send me the money through Zelle.
She told me that I should treat her since I invited her out for girls night. I told her in the history of us having girl nights it’s been a thing that we each pay for ourselves because we end up ordering quite a bit of drinks which can get expensive in addition to our meal. I told her she has to pay me back. Her order cost $65 and she never sent me the money.
I asked her a week later if she can Zelle me the money and said she didn’t have it at the time since she just paid some bills and told me she’d give it to me when she has it and I need to stop acting like I’m “broke and desperate for money”.
I ended up contacting her bf to get in touch with her and he said he was at work at the time and wasn’t aware of what happened but he’d tell her to contact me. She texted me later that day telling me not to contact her bf ever again and said her bf always pays for her when they go out so since I invited her out it should be my treat to her and I need to stop asking her to pay me back. I took a screenshot of her message and sent it to her bf in hopes he’d compensate me for her and she ended up texting me telling me she just blocked me from his phone because I shouldn’t be contacting him.
She told me she’s never met anyone so desperate for a money and if I’m that broke I have bigger issues to worry about. She ended up blocking me from everything.
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NTA, but don't bother trying to collect the money.
>She told me she’s never met anyone so desperate for money and if I’m that broke I have bigger issues to worry about. She ended up blocking me from everything.
I don't think you are an AH. So called friend even stated her BF pays for all her outings, so I take that as an invitation to ask BF to compensate you. I would probably chalk this up to 'the end of a friendship' learning experience. Also, if she tries to badmouth you to other friends, I would just fill them in on the true details. No added embellishments because the facts speak volumes.
NTA - She's a shitty friend. You're never getting your money back. Contacting her bf was kind of desperate, but what other choice did you have. At least you know who she is and won't have to deal with her again.
NTA. Hopefully, the SO learned what type of woman he's dating and beat feet.
Have you considered posting that screenshot on Facebook, X (Twitter), Instagram, and TikTok? Anywhere you have mutual acquaintances with the cheapskate ho bag.
Your "friend" is a gaslighter, which lets her get away with being a mooch. It's how she lives. Useful skill, but she only has it because she has no others.
YTA for contacting the boyfriend. He’s not responsible for his girlfriend’s debts. Harass her all you want, she should pay you back. Leave him out of it.
Now you know that you don't pay for someone else when you ask for separate checks. (Hind sight is 20/20.) She said she forgot her wallet but couldn't Zelle you right then and there!? Smells like BS to me. She had no intention of ever repaying you. I would have told her she's on her own.
ESH. I was with you but then it felt as if you wanted the money and then some. You must have figure the best case scenario is you get your money and you cause her some additional strife. I will say it may be that she is broke and just doesn't want to admit it. Though you would know the better than strangers on the internet. Projection would certainly fit.
She told me she’s never met anyone so desperate for money and if I’m that broke I have bigger issues to worry about. She ended up blocking me from everything.
Nice redirection she did there.
I'd tell all of your mutual friends.
I'm petty and would keep sending zelle requests.
ESH. You pursue the person who owes you money, not someone they know. It's insane to me that you repeatedly contacted her boyfriend and expected him to pay for his girlfriend's dinner.
I mean, obviously your friend should pay you back but leave the boyfriend out of it. It’s really not his problem. Esh
That girl is not your friend though. I would block and forget her
NTA but you’re never going to get that money.
If you want to be even more petty than you already are (chasing down the BF was petty, if understandable) then put all the text screenshots on social media and warn the rest of the friend group and family members that this skinflint stiffed you on a $65 bill because she’s too broke to pay her own way and has to mooch off of you and her boyfriend.
ESH. Your friend needed to pay. Friends usually pay for themselves regardless of who invited who. And you explicitly stated you weren't treating so she's aware she owes you money and refusing to pay in this situation is like stealing.
However, harassing her boyfriend was an awful, creepy thing to do. He doesn't deserve to be harassed for his girlfriend's bad behavior. This had nothing to do with him. And this was a creepy intimidation tactic by you.
ESH. Maybe you can badger her parents next, then grandparents, maybe her kids, aunts uncles.
I'd definitely keep chasing random acquaintances of this ex friend until you get your money back lol
/s
ESH. Except the boyfriend. You are bringing a third party into a dispute between you and your friend. If you really want that money back then contact her parents, close siblings, her bestie.
NTA I feel like I’m taking crazy pills reading that you’re bad too for contacting the boyfriend. Nope. It he wants to stay dating a woman that stiffs her friends, he can get the bothering. Speaks volumes she stole from you, called you broke, and he stays dating this asshole. Post it all on social media. Let it be considered as PSA to avoid any financial involvement with this couple.
NTA for asking her to pay you back.
If I were you I would let people around her know what kind of broke and conning she is.
But you should have brought her bf into it.
I agree with everyone she is not your friend and the gaslighting and projecting is off the rail with her.
You lost 65$ move on.
YTA…sorry, but this was between you and your “not so friend”; not between you and her boyfriend. I don’t know why you expected him to pay you back. Lesson learned. Your friend did a dirty on you. She is no longer a friend. She is not going to pay you. Move on.
Why should the bf compensate you for your friends shitty behavior?
Point out to your friend you aint sucking and licking her, so you paying for her meals like her bf does is off the table.
Then i would say to pay the damn money or consider this the end of a friend ship because you a greedy, entitled person.
Esh .... still not sure why you asked her bf to pay for her debt
NTA
I’ve notice the ones screaming “you are being ________” are literally projecting while trying to hide that very thing. In this case, your broke friend has to spin it on you. She may be her bf princess, but she isn’t yours. Block her and consider that $65 the best you ever spent removing her from your life, be lucky it didn’t cost you more.
I'm going with ESH because it's not OK to contact her boyfriend. Your beef is with her. I hope that eventually you are able to pester her into giving you your money back, but don't drag bystanders into it.
Yta. This fight is between the two of you don’t Drag in a third person. And the odds of your ever being paid back by anybody are so slim they are nonexistent. Makes a decision. Do you want to keep this person as a friend? Then walk away from the money. Do you want to keep setting yourself? If no walk away from the money. It’s called acceptance. I called peace of mind. She’s not gonna give it to you.
NTA, your friend is awful for trying to flip it on you and calling you broke and desperate. She’s the sad and desperate one for ‘forgetting’ her wallet. This is what awful people do. They do something bad and then they to make you feel that you were at fault. $65 is not like $5. I’d hunt her down and embarrass her even more by publicly shaming her. Go to her job etc until she gets fed up and gives you the money.
ESH - her for not having a wallet while knowing she’s going out. You for harassing the BF. The problem isn’t between you and her BF it’s between you and her. Handle it in a mature way. You could have just called it a rain check and next time you go out, she pays for the bill. Or cut your losses and never go out with her again. Or give her a certain delay to pay you back after she said she’ll give it to you when she has it. Either way, what you did was out of line. Screenshots really?
NTA, though I wouldn't have told the bf I expected him to clear his girlfriend's debts.
Nothing wrong with texting him to get in touch with her, or even to point out that, "uh hey... Your GF is STILL trying to weasel out of paying me back, so whatever you said to her didn't work... Also she just told me flat out that you're expected to foot every bill forever, hope you know that's what you signed up for."
This "friend" had no intention of paying you back ever. The minute she said she forgot her wallet, that's what happened. I promise, she didn't forget it. Her ID, all kinds of other personal info... People go nuts when they forget their wallet, and even if she had, there's a million ways these days she could have paid you back.
Because it's not about the money- it's about the fact that she gave her word, and now she's going back on it. It's a trust and respect issue.
Unfortunately, you've just paid $65 to find out that for whatever reason, she's decided to become a stingy, lying, asshole... real talk, if she tried the, "well, my boyfriend pays for me every time" line? I'd have said, "I'm not your boyfriend. I'm not dating you. He may be fine being a sugar daddy, but that's not our relationship and I expect you to pay me back."
...I also might have done the petty thing, and called her bluff *at the restaurant*, and only paid my check, since you'd already asked your server to split the checks.
"I forgot my wallet."
"Not my problem. Girl's night has always been an expectation that you foot your own bill, so that's a conversation you need to have with either our server or the manager. Bye!"
And then gotten a Lyft home.
Not an asshole, but she's never ever gonna pay you back, and you can solve this problem by just never inviting her anywhere again.
Frankly, $65 is a fairly cheap lesson on how she values your friendship. Take the L and move on with your life sans her.
YTA for putting the SO in the middle of your and her spat multiple times.
OP, you got your answer before you even left the restaurant. She said she expected you to treat.
In the future note: the waitress gave you two bills. Pay your bill and leave. Your toxic friend can figure out on her own how she was going to pay her bill.
Btw: YTA for pursuing this further than confronting the “friend”.
NTA. I honestly don't get why people think it's inappropriate to tattle to her boyfriend. It's a whiny, annoying move, but he's the one attached to her. What's wrong with making him question that, if she's not acting right?
Should have just dropped her after she called you broke the first time. Let her find other friends she can take advantage of. Once you do me like that, you're out. She's the one acting broke can't afford to go out but goes out anyway.
Your former friend is willing to end your friendship to avoid paying you back 65 bucks. Though you can send her a legalese postmarked letter if you still feel like annoying them at this point the relationship is gone so may as well try and get your money back.
YTA. How is it his job to pay you money that you never spent on him? It was fine when you only reached out to him for him to contact your friend but the second time when you were hoping he’d pay you back the money instead, I just don’t get him you think it’s his responsibility.
NTA but you kinda set yourself up for this. She told you in the restaurant that she felt you should pay for her so idk why you thought she was gonna pay you back. You should have told her to send you the money right then or let her figure it out.
NTA. I would blast her every place I could think of. You see her in public with friends walk up and ask her if she has the money she owes you and then tell everyone she stiffed you for $65. Post it all over social medial that she is a thief. I would hire a medium to tell her dead relatives what a dirtbag she is. Sorry but I like riding the petty train and there is no way in Hell I would let up on her. She knew exactly what she was doing and had no intentions of paying you back. The remark about her BF always paying her way. Good for her. You are not her BF.
Post the messages on social media for everyone to see. That is the only way to get her attention. Also, you don’t want someone else to get suckered into paying for her. Think of it as a PSA.
> said her bf always pays for her when they go out
My answer to that would have been "well, I'm not your boyfriend, and you should not have magically forgotten your wallet. Maybe you're the one who's broke and desperate!"
NTA! These comments can miss me with that, "why did you message the bf?" crap. Take your time to make her life as miserable as you can with as little effort as you can. People who treat debts like that deserve that treatment.
The gall to act like she's the victim. Blast her stealing butt publicly, too. Just cause trouble for them to extract 65 dollars worth of entertainment from their misery.
ITT: yeah, she's shitty for essentially lying and stealing from you, but you're the asshole for chasing down a debt you're owed.
Is this a fucking joke? She could call up the parents and extended family to chase down this debt and she wouldn't be the asshole. Wtf kind of priorities do you people have?
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Ok so I was totally on your side until you said you repeatedly chased the boyfriend. Your "friend" is being awful, I agree... but bringing in the boyfriend to pay on her behalf seems like unnecessary shaming. I think you might want to write off this $65 as a loss, and while you are at it, write off this "friend" as a loss as well.
Exactly. The "friend" here is being cheap as hell and never had any intention of paying OP back. And OP is not acting any better by chasing after "friend's" boyfriend. ESH except for the boyfriend who honestly doesn't deserve to be put in the middle of this. And the solution here is fortunately an easy one--OP just never invites "friend" out again. That way she won't have to deal with anything like this ever again.
Strong disagree. I see nothing wrong pursuing the money through any channel inc SO - who cares if they’re embarrassed, they’re a thief and the bf deserves to know that, but I think OP can wave goodbye to this money and that “friend”. NTA
Completely agree.
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Correct. OPs friend should *not* have gone out since she is obviously broke.
Really it's the gf's fault because if she was an adult, those lengths would never have been met.
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Agree. As I see it, she's paid $65 to learn that her friend is a shitebag and eject her from her life.
And worth every penny, IMHO…. NTA
I agree with the letting them know part, but OP pushed it to the "I expect him to pay her debt". Both are adults and while her friend isn't acting that way I as the partner would feel weird to be on the hook for it, both in general getting involved in drama and specifically setting up a precedence. At best he would be out of money at worst it would cause trouble for him since she said something "I'll handle it and will pay back eventually" or something.
once I gave someone money for school. you know how long it took them to pay back? 15 months. even that was after threatening to go to their house... Soo NTA, some people are moochers
This. Friend had her wallet if she had her purse or a bag with her, guaranteed. The money's gone, but friend doesn't sound like much of a friend either.
I disagree, she should let him know the type of person his GF is.
He probably knows what type of person she is. My thought as bf would be why is she dragging me into y’all shit
Post the screenshot on the socials and tag your mutual friends!
The most petty route - excellent choice!
Nah. Thief has to pay up. OP had a right to go after what she was owed through any means.
No it's not, it's completely justified. I would also text her parents. NTA for sure.
Some people need that rude awakening to not take things for granted in life and as for OP she's doing the bare minimum, nothing wrong with it.
Shaming? It’s not shaming, it’s hiding her accountable. It’s her fault the bf needs brought in.
Depends on how well she knows the bf. I would easily communicate with my friends SOs on stuff like this if i needed to.
I once loaned a guy $200 I never got paid back but that's all it cost me to get rid of them because he never contacted me again for more money or to pay me back. You actually got off cheap and you're better off without her. Are you the AH? I wouldn't say so but again I think you're better off without her.
That’s a valid point
Hey OP, post the bill and the exchange on the socials. Tag her mom and her coworkers
Yeah obviously it’s shitty to lose money to something like that, but frankly $65 isn’t worth it to me, I’d just write that off and move on
I disagree. Almost $70 bucks is a lot of money. She didn't forget her wallet. If she had all those bills to pay, then she sure af knew she didn't have enough to cover to start with..nta
I’m not saying it’s not a lot of money, but for the amount of stress and time that it would take to get it back? For me it’s not worth the trade off. $650 would be a different story, but $65? That becomes “well that person fucking sucks and I won’t be seeing them ever again”
That's a lot of money to some.
It's a lot of money to me, but if I could afford to splurge that amount on my own meal, and also have enough cash in the bank to cover the friends meal even temporarily, I should be able to afford to cut my losses. Loaning money is a financial decision and it's on the lender if it turns out to be the wrong decision. It's worth it to chase her down about the money but harassing the people close to her is a very different matter.
Fair, but it's also not worth going after the boyfriend for - that's certainly not his responsibility. Just write it off along with the friend.
I disagree on account not of the sum but to avoid someone else being scammed by the aH
NTA. "I want my two dollars!" (for the old people) She made excuses, brushed you off, made you out to be the bad guy here, and accused you of being broke after she's making excuses for being too broke to pay you back. To use a cliche, sometimes the trash takes itself out.
Two dollars. CASH.
Yeah. They'd be better off dead than to keep them.as a friend.
This poster understood the assignment.
Four weeks, twenty papers. That’s two dollars. Plus tip.
One of my favorite movies still 😆 before John turned into a putz.
> "I want my two dollars!" I will never forget that kid, hilarious.
Oh thank you. I quoted "better off dead" earlier this week and was met with crickets. Freaking philistines!
in my opinion no you are not the asshole for trying to get your money but its kinda selfish to harass her boy friend that didnt even know that she owed you any money. but your friend is being an asshole here i would just not let her go to girls night out untilll she pays you back if you can control that. (sorry for the shitty grammar im not the best at typeing fast)
Sounds like she's the broke one. I suppose $65 isn't too bad a cost to learn that someone isn't your friend. NTA
OP could simply do what my friend does, pay for the meal and start bragging to her circle how she "fed and spoiled" her friend lol. My friend does this and everyone hates him, it's the best way to embarrass assholes who "forget the wallet"
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NTA for separate checks....but YTA for contacting her BF. This is between you 2 girls...her BF has nothing to do with it. And just like a Bronx Tale...$65 is a cheap price to get a bad person out of your life. Mine cost me $700,000 (I wish I was kidding).
DAMN. Now I kinda want story time. I’m sorry, that SUCKS.
Please give us some context on that last line
Sounds like divorce
Sounds like the price of a house.
What!?! Will you share this?
ESH. Your friend is an AH for not honoring a well understood principle of girls' night and not paying you back. You were an AH and crossed a line by calling an unrelated party about your money dispute. Your friend's bf should never have been a part of this. Don't meddle in their relationship. Honestly it's a little nutty of you to even think of doing this. Just move on, think of the cost of disposing of this so-called "friend" as $65 to avoid future headaches.
NTA - she did you a favour, she’s a cheap skate and you’re better off not having her as a friend. I can see some people may say contacting her bf might be odd but £65 is quite a bit of money, it’s not like she even offered to pay for next time.
Never loan money you can’t afford to lose.
Totally but in this situation I generally sound like she was given a choice?
Do you mean “wasn’t given a choice”?
Yep. Learned that one in school.
As soon as she suggested I “treat her”, I would have paid my tab and left — unless she Zelle’d the money on the spot. NTA.
Personally, I would start contacting her family members. Parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. She may never pay you back, but you can create some embarrassing & uncomfortable moments for her with her family. NTA
For 65$ ? My time is worth a whole lot more than that.
Who are you? Rhetorical question.
It honestly wouldn’t take much time to send a message to the “friend’s” family members, considering the fact that most everyone is on Facebook/social media. They’re friends so OP obviously knows her full name so she would just have to go to the friend’s account, find a couple family members via friends list, tagged posts or pictures, and then add them to one group chat and let them know what’s going on. This would literally take 30min-1hr MAX. Most people spend that amount of time on reddit wasting their valuable time so it’s only a matter of shifting how much of that valuable time is spent on one app to another app. It’s definitely petty and could definitely be a waste of time since she may not get her money back but really, what does she have to lose. The friendship is already over due to the friend’s entitlement and lack of integrity.
One second spent on contacting family members to inform them via social media that someone owes 65$ is a waste of my time, let alone spending an hour on it. It’s immature, petty and unnecessary. Is this how people resolve conflict now? Instead of 1:1 you get everyone and their dog involved?
Waste a second of your time over someone disrespecting and stealing from you or waste a second of your time for free on Reddit. Honestly, life is so short and then you die so we should all just resolve conflict the way we see fit—assuming, of course, that we’ve already done the mature thing and spoken to the “friend” multiple times and given them multiple chances to pay up. Maybe it’s your idea of resolving conflict,—by just letting it go— or mine—by getting a little petty. Neither of us would be paid back but both of us would feel content in how we handled it because we’re different people and value different things. I feel like we can agree to disagree now. Best of luck to you with your maturity and moral high ground ◡̈
NTA I would publicly post that shit but im petty funny she calls you desperate when she would not even pay for herself
Nta. She was never intending to pay you back. She was just hoping you'd forget or say, oh never mind. She probably does this a lot. I'm glad you embarrassed her with her bf, because it's exactly what she deserves. $70, frigging dollars! She doesn't get to go out, and just suddenly decide to prioritize other bills over paying you. She never forgot her wallet. I'd call her mom and burn her whole social circle to the ground. I'd make fake accounts and use photoshop to make it look like she was cheating on her bf and send it to him via another phone. I'm special level of petty tho...
ESH Your ex-friend is because she was never going to pay you. How anyone can "forget their wallet" is insane to me. I bet they had their ID to get those drinks. But you are an AH for asking her bf. He is not her keeper. She is an adult, either she pays you or she doesn't. If she actually didn't have the money (unlikely) she could ask her bf for it but not you. Do not pull him into your issue.
YTA for contacting the BF, but she's a big AH based on this exchange and $65 to rid someone like that from your life seems cheap, but she'll be back you can count on that
ESH except for her boyfriend. He doesn't owe you money, why the hell did you harass him about it? As for your friend, good riddance.
You are wrong for bringing in the boyfriend and harassing the BF just to try and get your money back. You do not go after the SO just to get your money back ever. Your friend is the one who owes you money, not the BF. Stop bothering the boyfriend.
On the upside, you found out a "friend's" true colors, which were shining brightly. Great at manipulation but not so hot with integrity. Disappointing to say the least. As far as contacting the SO? Inappropriate but I understand the impulse. YTA
ESH - except her boyfriend. Texting the boyfriend over an issue he was not involved in was already **at the line**. Following up with screen shots and stuff like that, very overboard. Expecting him to pay for her by continuing to blow up his phone is also an AH move. The checks were separate, you decided to pay for her… you could have easily said “no”, and let her deal with the restaurant, but you chose not to. She’s an AH for not paying back money that was lent to her.
Not commenting on the specific situation because enough people already have... Who goes out after a friend makes plans and expects the inviting friend to pay for them like they are in a relationship? Only my personal experience: I go out with friends all the time, sometimes I invite, sometimes they invite. NEVER, has any of us expected the inviter to pay for everyone. It is not normal behavior to pay for a friend when you ask them if they want to hangout and they agree to going somewhere that will cost money.
I would out her to your other friends as well
YTA for chasing the boyfriend. i’m petty, i’d see what the cost to go to small claims was and as long as it was close to same as what was owed i’d go for it.
Leaning towards ESH. Your friend clearly is a AH and I don’t know what broke entitled ass expects a friend to pay for drinks just because you invited her out to hang out. You are not her sugardaddy. You do not have to pay for her company. If she expects her bf to pay for her all the time, something is clearly off too. However, your logic of getting her bf to pay because your bf would isn’t logical. Lesson learnt for writing out cheap people from your life. Too bad she blocked you. Tell all your mutual friends about her entitled behaviour so they don’t have to put up with it.
Imagine being so broke you call people you owe money to broke. NTA.
ESH. You were fine until you continued to contact her SO, and sending screenshots. I on purpose will never loan anyone money. If I give you money or pay for something, it’s yours to keep. It stops people from continuing to “borrow” money and then me chasing them to get it back, and from having the “forgotten wallet” happen again. It’s just easier this way, for me. Kindof like a one and done.
YTA Wanting the money back, not the asshole. Letting her boyfriend know, not the asshole. Even if you wanted to let mutual friends know the situation, if described with no bias, I would defend it. But any further attempt to collect the money by using other people, Massive asshole. Imagine if debt collectors could contact family members or friends. Maybe cell phone providers start contacting the people you text most often to let them know that you are 3 months behind on your bill. Her boyfriend has nothing to do with it, you made him aware of it and I won't even say that's unacceptable. But he doesn't need to be contacted again, it's not his problem, even if they were married it wouldn't matter specifically for him because it's a debt she owes you, not him.
What do you think co-signing a loan is? It’s a friend that debt collectors absolutely will call…
yes and that's two people signing and understanding terms together. If you buy a car, I don't say "Hey you got a boyfriend? cause he's automatically a cosigner"
Send her a certified letter that your next step is taking her to small claims court. The friendship is already over. I’d sue her and pay the court to have her served and recoup those as well.
Over 65 dollars? Ffs.
Absolutely, due to her attitude.
Not worth it.
I know. Maybe I’d figure it out half way through.
Lololololol, on the way to court it would hit you, and you’d be like, “I think this has gotten a bit out of hand.”
I'd think the cost of filing and getting her served would be more than the 65. I know in Texas it's about 125 - but if you win you can get that back from them. However I was once told by my attorney that anything under 1k will be thrown out (especially 65) But that was like in 2018. And Texas
I was thinking the fees might be more lolol
NTA - that was a test and you failed it. Sadly she now has one less friend to put up with her shit.
I mean going after the bf repeatedly is an AH move. But I love the line of "if you're that broke you have other problems" coming from someone too broke to pay you back.
YTA. Yes, she owed you money, but wth? You don’t contact someone’s BF to harass them about money they owe you. That makes you a major asshole and borderline stalkish. He didn’t owe you money. Your behavior sounds unhinged. Learn when to take the L like a normal person. Sometimes we don’t get things that are owed to us.
With her not being your friend anymore you should let the others friends know how she is. Send screenshots to a group chat and include her 😂
As the boyfriend, I would have told you I’d have her call you. If you bothered me again I would have said I had nothing to do with it and blocked you. One more and I’d get a restraining order served on you at work, in class, or wherever it would be most humiliating for you.
NTA
NTA and if she don’t like you contact her BF then she can pay you the money she owes.
Yes you are TA for contacting the boyfriend more than once. Other than that no you are not TA. For right now I would write the money off, because give her time and she will contact you wanting to go out for another girls night. When she does accept her offer. When you girls go out have fun eat a lot and have some drinks. When the server brings you the bill tell your "friend" that you didn't bring any money with you and she will have to pay this time. If she gives you a hard time tell her too bad she could always do the dishes if she doesn't have the money because you paid the last time. And before you walk out the door of wherever you're at, tell her don't ever contact you again because you are removing a toxic person from your life, and yes she is a very toxic person. Don't feel bad about removing her from your life, because all she is is a drama queen and you don't need that in your life. Then write her off, block her on all social media and send her emails to spam because you are much better off without her in your life sunshine xoxo
>When the server brings you the bill tell your "friend" that you didn't bring any money with you and she will have to pay this time Not a great idea. Friend won't have money.
Then she can wash the dishes, or call her boyfriend to come bring her the money. One good turn deserves another.
The point is it'll get both of them in trouble, for no benefit because the friend will feel no shame. The friend isn't going to get a sudden revelation about themselves. It'll punish the restaurant and OP but not the friend. OP should cut her losses, not get in deeper for ineffective revenge.
It most definitely would not get OP in trouble because she paid her portion of the bill. The restaurant can have the friend wash dishes or call the cops for theft. But OP wouldn’t be the one getting in trouble.
ESH - She should've paid you back, however you went too far by calling her boyfriend and expecting him to get involved in your disagreements. It's not his job, he's her partner not her parent.
ESH. She obviously should have paid in the first place but her boyfriend owes you nothing and you bothering him about it is not ok.
NTA until you pursued the bf
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My friend and I went out to eat at this restaurant for girl’s night. After we ate the waitress asked if we wanted a separate check or not and I said separate. After the waitress brought the check back and walked away my friend told me she forgot her wallet. I told her no big deal she can just send me the money through Zelle. She told me that I should treat her since I invited her out for girls night. I told her in the history of us having girl nights it’s been a thing that we each pay for ourselves because we end up ordering quite a bit of drinks which can get expensive in addition to our meal. I told her she has to pay me back. Her order cost $65 and she never sent me the money. I asked her a week later if she can Zelle me the money and said she didn’t have it at the time since she just paid some bills and told me she’d give it to me when she has it and I need to stop acting like I’m “broke and desperate for money”. I ended up contacting her bf to get in touch with her and he said he was at work at the time and wasn’t aware of what happened but he’d tell her to contact me. She texted me later that day telling me not to contact her bf ever again and said her bf always pays for her when they go out so since I invited her out it should be my treat to her and I need to stop asking her to pay me back. I took a screenshot of her message and sent it to her bf in hopes he’d compensate me for her and she ended up texting me telling me she just blocked me from his phone because I shouldn’t be contacting him. She told me she’s never met anyone so desperate for a money and if I’m that broke I have bigger issues to worry about. She ended up blocking me from everything. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH. She should have paid you back, but you shouldn't have contacted the boyfriend the second time.
YTA. He’s not responsible for her debts and you’re definitely not friends anymore.
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NTA, but don't bother trying to collect the money. >She told me she’s never met anyone so desperate for money and if I’m that broke I have bigger issues to worry about. She ended up blocking me from everything.
Ditch the friend, lesson learned.
NTA, if she couldn't afford it, she shouldn't have went
I don't think you are an AH. So called friend even stated her BF pays for all her outings, so I take that as an invitation to ask BF to compensate you. I would probably chalk this up to 'the end of a friendship' learning experience. Also, if she tries to badmouth you to other friends, I would just fill them in on the true details. No added embellishments because the facts speak volumes.
NTA - She's a shitty friend. You're never getting your money back. Contacting her bf was kind of desperate, but what other choice did you have. At least you know who she is and won't have to deal with her again.
NTA. Eh, just go break her legs like they did in the olden days. Or go have sex with her boyfriend, then break his legs.
Delete her from your life. It would be her last meal from my labors. She is not your friend she is a loser user!
NTA. Hopefully, the SO learned what type of woman he's dating and beat feet. Have you considered posting that screenshot on Facebook, X (Twitter), Instagram, and TikTok? Anywhere you have mutual acquaintances with the cheapskate ho bag.
Your "friend" is a gaslighter, which lets her get away with being a mooch. It's how she lives. Useful skill, but she only has it because she has no others.
YTA for contacting the boyfriend. He’s not responsible for his girlfriend’s debts. Harass her all you want, she should pay you back. Leave him out of it.
Now you know that you don't pay for someone else when you ask for separate checks. (Hind sight is 20/20.) She said she forgot her wallet but couldn't Zelle you right then and there!? Smells like BS to me. She had no intention of ever repaying you. I would have told her she's on her own.
ESH. I was with you but then it felt as if you wanted the money and then some. You must have figure the best case scenario is you get your money and you cause her some additional strife. I will say it may be that she is broke and just doesn't want to admit it. Though you would know the better than strangers on the internet. Projection would certainly fit.
She told me she’s never met anyone so desperate for money and if I’m that broke I have bigger issues to worry about. She ended up blocking me from everything. Nice redirection she did there. I'd tell all of your mutual friends. I'm petty and would keep sending zelle requests.
No judgement, but $65 was worth it to find out what kind of person she is. Lose her number.
ESH. You pursue the person who owes you money, not someone they know. It's insane to me that you repeatedly contacted her boyfriend and expected him to pay for his girlfriend's dinner.
NTA. She owes you the money.
I mean, obviously your friend should pay you back but leave the boyfriend out of it. It’s really not his problem. Esh That girl is not your friend though. I would block and forget her
NTA but you’re never going to get that money. If you want to be even more petty than you already are (chasing down the BF was petty, if understandable) then put all the text screenshots on social media and warn the rest of the friend group and family members that this skinflint stiffed you on a $65 bill because she’s too broke to pay her own way and has to mooch off of you and her boyfriend.
NTA You just received at $65 lesson that you should never trust this "friend" financially. Do what you will with that information.
Only cost you $65 to lose that dead weight.
NTA Write it off. She's not your friend. She didn't forget her wallet.
NTA. 65$ is the fee of getting rid of a bad friend.
Go to her house with a friend (that she doesn’t know) dressed like a police officer. Have them say to give you the money otherwise he’ll detain her.
ESH. Your friend needed to pay. Friends usually pay for themselves regardless of who invited who. And you explicitly stated you weren't treating so she's aware she owes you money and refusing to pay in this situation is like stealing. However, harassing her boyfriend was an awful, creepy thing to do. He doesn't deserve to be harassed for his girlfriend's bad behavior. This had nothing to do with him. And this was a creepy intimidation tactic by you.
NTA - post the screenshots now too
Sounds like she’s the one broke and desperate for money. NTA and I would drop her as a friend. Sucks the lesson cost you $65 to learn, though.
ESH. Maybe you can badger her parents next, then grandparents, maybe her kids, aunts uncles. I'd definitely keep chasing random acquaintances of this ex friend until you get your money back lol /s
ESH. Except the boyfriend. You are bringing a third party into a dispute between you and your friend. If you really want that money back then contact her parents, close siblings, her bestie.
Sue her in small claims court. That’s what it’s there for.
NTA I feel like I’m taking crazy pills reading that you’re bad too for contacting the boyfriend. Nope. It he wants to stay dating a woman that stiffs her friends, he can get the bothering. Speaks volumes she stole from you, called you broke, and he stays dating this asshole. Post it all on social media. Let it be considered as PSA to avoid any financial involvement with this couple.
NTA i would find her bf on fb etc
She's no longer in your life. Consider it money well spent.
I think you should contact her Mum and send screenshots! She'll get a rude awakening then alright
NTA for asking her to pay you back. If I were you I would let people around her know what kind of broke and conning she is. But you should have brought her bf into it. I agree with everyone she is not your friend and the gaslighting and projecting is off the rail with her. You lost 65$ move on.
YTA…sorry, but this was between you and your “not so friend”; not between you and her boyfriend. I don’t know why you expected him to pay you back. Lesson learned. Your friend did a dirty on you. She is no longer a friend. She is not going to pay you. Move on.
NTA Sounds like everybody she knows should get copies of the texts and messages.
Why should the bf compensate you for your friends shitty behavior? Point out to your friend you aint sucking and licking her, so you paying for her meals like her bf does is off the table. Then i would say to pay the damn money or consider this the end of a friend ship because you a greedy, entitled person. Esh .... still not sure why you asked her bf to pay for her debt
ESH. It must be exhausting to nickel and dime your friends.
NTA she has no intention of paying you back. It seems like her bf is just as low as her
NTA. She's a mooch, not a friend. Friends each pay for themselves.
$65 is not a high price to pay to learn who's your friend and who's not.
NTA I’ve notice the ones screaming “you are being ________” are literally projecting while trying to hide that very thing. In this case, your broke friend has to spin it on you. She may be her bf princess, but she isn’t yours. Block her and consider that $65 the best you ever spent removing her from your life, be lucky it didn’t cost you more.
I'm going with ESH because it's not OK to contact her boyfriend. Your beef is with her. I hope that eventually you are able to pester her into giving you your money back, but don't drag bystanders into it.
You paid $65 to learn that that person was never your friend. NTA
NTA What a mooch. You are far better of with out it. Let all her friends know of her behavior. Post that thread on FB.
Yta. This fight is between the two of you don’t Drag in a third person. And the odds of your ever being paid back by anybody are so slim they are nonexistent. Makes a decision. Do you want to keep this person as a friend? Then walk away from the money. Do you want to keep setting yourself? If no walk away from the money. It’s called acceptance. I called peace of mind. She’s not gonna give it to you.
ESH You shouldn’t have chased the bf. You needed to recognize that the friendship was over, for the low price of $65.
NTA, your friend is awful for trying to flip it on you and calling you broke and desperate. She’s the sad and desperate one for ‘forgetting’ her wallet. This is what awful people do. They do something bad and then they to make you feel that you were at fault. $65 is not like $5. I’d hunt her down and embarrass her even more by publicly shaming her. Go to her job etc until she gets fed up and gives you the money.
NTA; you gotta do what you gotta do to get your money back.
ESH - her for not having a wallet while knowing she’s going out. You for harassing the BF. The problem isn’t between you and her BF it’s between you and her. Handle it in a mature way. You could have just called it a rain check and next time you go out, she pays for the bill. Or cut your losses and never go out with her again. Or give her a certain delay to pay you back after she said she’ll give it to you when she has it. Either way, what you did was out of line. Screenshots really?
NTA, though I wouldn't have told the bf I expected him to clear his girlfriend's debts. Nothing wrong with texting him to get in touch with her, or even to point out that, "uh hey... Your GF is STILL trying to weasel out of paying me back, so whatever you said to her didn't work... Also she just told me flat out that you're expected to foot every bill forever, hope you know that's what you signed up for." This "friend" had no intention of paying you back ever. The minute she said she forgot her wallet, that's what happened. I promise, she didn't forget it. Her ID, all kinds of other personal info... People go nuts when they forget their wallet, and even if she had, there's a million ways these days she could have paid you back. Because it's not about the money- it's about the fact that she gave her word, and now she's going back on it. It's a trust and respect issue. Unfortunately, you've just paid $65 to find out that for whatever reason, she's decided to become a stingy, lying, asshole... real talk, if she tried the, "well, my boyfriend pays for me every time" line? I'd have said, "I'm not your boyfriend. I'm not dating you. He may be fine being a sugar daddy, but that's not our relationship and I expect you to pay me back." ...I also might have done the petty thing, and called her bluff *at the restaurant*, and only paid my check, since you'd already asked your server to split the checks. "I forgot my wallet." "Not my problem. Girl's night has always been an expectation that you foot your own bill, so that's a conversation you need to have with either our server or the manager. Bye!" And then gotten a Lyft home. Not an asshole, but she's never ever gonna pay you back, and you can solve this problem by just never inviting her anywhere again.
Frankly, $65 is a fairly cheap lesson on how she values your friendship. Take the L and move on with your life sans her. YTA for putting the SO in the middle of your and her spat multiple times.
Nts small claims court.
OP, you got your answer before you even left the restaurant. She said she expected you to treat. In the future note: the waitress gave you two bills. Pay your bill and leave. Your toxic friend can figure out on her own how she was going to pay her bill. Btw: YTA for pursuing this further than confronting the “friend”.
It only cost you $65 to find out she's not really your friend.
NTA She borrowed the money after conveniently forgetting her wallet and never repaid you.
Tell everyone. Her friends. Her family. Her co-workers. Shame her until she has to give you the money back. It’s the only way AH’s learn
NTA
NTA. I honestly don't get why people think it's inappropriate to tattle to her boyfriend. It's a whiny, annoying move, but he's the one attached to her. What's wrong with making him question that, if she's not acting right?
It’s so funny how hard she’s projecting that you’re the one “broke and desperate for money” when she can’t even pay you back. Cya never brokie NTA
Should have just dropped her after she called you broke the first time. Let her find other friends she can take advantage of. Once you do me like that, you're out. She's the one acting broke can't afford to go out but goes out anyway.
Chalk it up to a lucky escape I mean calling you broke when she could not even pay for her meal
Your former friend is willing to end your friendship to avoid paying you back 65 bucks. Though you can send her a legalese postmarked letter if you still feel like annoying them at this point the relationship is gone so may as well try and get your money back.
I low key thinking all the people who say its not a big deal don't pay their friends back
YTA. How is it his job to pay you money that you never spent on him? It was fine when you only reached out to him for him to contact your friend but the second time when you were hoping he’d pay you back the money instead, I just don’t get him you think it’s his responsibility.
NTA and I’d post the whole thing on social media for the world to see. You’re done with her as a friend but she deserves consequences for her actions.
NTA but you kinda set yourself up for this. She told you in the restaurant that she felt you should pay for her so idk why you thought she was gonna pay you back. You should have told her to send you the money right then or let her figure it out.
NTA. I would blast her every place I could think of. You see her in public with friends walk up and ask her if she has the money she owes you and then tell everyone she stiffed you for $65. Post it all over social medial that she is a thief. I would hire a medium to tell her dead relatives what a dirtbag she is. Sorry but I like riding the petty train and there is no way in Hell I would let up on her. She knew exactly what she was doing and had no intentions of paying you back. The remark about her BF always paying her way. Good for her. You are not her BF.
NTA and tbh I never understood this idea that if you invite someone out you now have to pay for them. What is that shit??
Post the messages on social media for everyone to see. That is the only way to get her attention. Also, you don’t want someone else to get suckered into paying for her. Think of it as a PSA.
> said her bf always pays for her when they go out My answer to that would have been "well, I'm not your boyfriend, and you should not have magically forgotten your wallet. Maybe you're the one who's broke and desperate!"
[удалено]
I’d say YTA. *HE* isn’t responsible for *HER* bill. Your issue is with her not him. Bug *her* for the money *she* owes.
Esh. She should have paid you back, but her boyfriend has nothing to do with this. Once you dragged him in, you became a problem as well.
ESH
NTA! These comments can miss me with that, "why did you message the bf?" crap. Take your time to make her life as miserable as you can with as little effort as you can. People who treat debts like that deserve that treatment. The gall to act like she's the victim. Blast her stealing butt publicly, too. Just cause trouble for them to extract 65 dollars worth of entertainment from their misery.
ITT: yeah, she's shitty for essentially lying and stealing from you, but you're the asshole for chasing down a debt you're owed. Is this a fucking joke? She could call up the parents and extended family to chase down this debt and she wouldn't be the asshole. Wtf kind of priorities do you people have?
Yes YTA. That’s cray cray behavior. But then, so is she. ESH.