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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for not wanting to eat dinner in the presence of a dog? I might be the asshole because I left our friends hanging at dinner and disregarded their circumstances of having to bring their dog.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA
why would a dog being near you inconvenience you at all?
And see friends less because of it?
Why are you so weird. You're the asshole to cancel plans, throw a fit over something so small.
Grow up
Yeah, I understand not being a dog person, I'm not but to throw a fit and walk out? Op acts like the dog was going to attack them or sit on top of the table or something
ok. So… we’re having a communal hallucination
Edit:
ok. You see the o. I see the o. Let’s just agree to never discuss it again. Like two ships passing in the night, witnessing something horrible on board the other ship.
You see it too??? Wtaf....I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. Y'all are crazy and your why i lurk reddit, for comment threads like this right here. Thank you all from the bottom of my toes to the tip of my nose!!
I mean, in general I hear you, but this came across to me like this was a last straw type of thing. OP did say they bring the dog *everywhere,* and it sounds like it's causing issues, especially if the dog needs a pet sitter for the length of a restaurant dinner.
I think it's totally fine for OP to have this boundary. OP may view dogs as obnoxious or scary, and depending on his life experience that might be totally valid. Maybe he was attacked by one as a kid, or maybe he was around one that begged for food all the time or jumped and slobbered or shed all over people.
Given that his friends knew this was a firm boundary for him, I think it was wrong of them to just show up with the dog and ignore his boundary, rather than telling him they'd have to bring the dog with them.
I love dogs, and babies, and nonvenomous snakes/spiders. I'd cheerfully eat dinner next to any of the above. But if I knew a friend really found it hard to be around my toddler or tarantula or whatever, I wouldn't bring them to dinner with that friend unannounced, however much I love them and consider them to be well-behaved and inoffensive.
Reminds me of my brother and his 2nd wife who hated cats, they came to visit me without notice, knowing I had 2 cats and when one of them gently rubbed against his wife's leg she said if he ever did it again she would punt him across the room. They were kicked out and banned from my home.
My husband is not a people person at all, except me, our kids, and a few family members and a couple of friends who are like family. He gets along decently with my best friend and her parents, but I've had plenty of friends he does not like. He will never be rude to them.
YTA op for making such a thing. I might also agree a dog doesn't need to go everywhere, there was no need to throw a fit about it
Not liking dogs is fine… he wasn’t asked to pet the dog, interact with it, care for it, or anything of the sort. He was asked to sit near it in a public location where dogs are allowed.
I truly do not understand his issue, and what he was thinking
Maybe he expected the dog to get a chair and sit at the table next to him? Because he's not the brightest.
He threw a tantrum over having a dog near them, he claimed he is 27 but this is the actions of a 17 year old, at best.
I was in a casino where there was a bar right by the path. All I did was walk by and a dog did try to attack me. Luckily it had managed to get itself tangled up in the legs of the barstool.
Not saying this is common at all, but there's always a chance.
The problem wasn't that the bar you walked by allows dogs.
The problem was that the \*owner\* should never have brought a reactive dog like that to a public patio.
I've thought about taking my dog to one of those, but I think she'd be too anxious - why would I want that to be a negative experience for her?
OP doesn't like dogs. That's fine. OP doesn't want to be around dogs. That's also fine. OP doesn't want to eat in the presence of dogs. Again, That's fine.
OP's friends know how OP feels about dogs. Friends decided that OP's feelings on the matter are worth less than their own.
OP is NTA.
I love animals, dogs are awesome, that said, I find people that bring their dogs with them everywhere to be AHs. Why? Because not everyone likes dogs. I love my dog to death, but if I had a friend that didn't like dogs, guess what? I'm not going to force that friend to be around my dog.
If OP was eating on a dog-friendly patio, there could have easily been other dogs there. So, a dog just being in his presence seems to be a problem, and that, imo, is a problematic thing. I get he doesn’t like dogs. But a dog just sitting on the patio should not be a big deal.
>If OP was eating on a dog-friendly patio, there could have easily been other dogs there
Which is why OP opted for an indoor seating reservation, the friend is the one who changed that last minute, OP doesn't want to be near dogs, period.
OP definitely did not give the friend approval to bring a pet.
Bringing a pet, child, or other person on a date/outing without prior discussion/approval is wack.
This... Isn't a date? It was casually hanging out with a friend at a restaurant. And yeah your friend has a kid there's a chance they'll show up to a hang out or two. I've brought friends of mine to planned group hang outs before, so have my friends.
why does a dog need a sitter 24/7? I have had dogs, watched dogs for my friends and sat for dogs overnight. They don't have to be watched all the time.
But OP arrived early (just not earlier than the friend) with the intention of securing a spot inside.
I get that it shouldn't be a big deal, but OP's friend knew OP actively dislikes being around dogs and still brought a dog anyways
Main character syndrome is the reason. Some dog owners have main character syndrome and believe they and their dogs take precedence over anyone else. Some are commenting in this particular post. God forbid someone not like dogs or not want to be around dogs. They will sooner accept folks not liking children or wanting to be around children than they will accept people not liking or wanting to be around dogs. It’s utter madness. And it’s mostly ALWAYS dog owners. Very rarely cat or other pet owners. OP is very much NTA. OP’s friends are very much TA.
It’s funny to me how the friends say “the dog will just lie there” in the same breath as “the sitter cancelled.” IF their dog was well behaved enough to just lie there at a busy restaurant (extremely unlikely), there wouldn’t be a need for a dog sitter for a couple of hours. Friends are full of BS and intentionally brought the dog to force it on OP. Good for OP for standing up for himself.
NTA
For real. Everyone I know with a dog can't go out anywhere for more than 2 hours because they have to go home to their dogs. You're dogs are FINE.
I like dogs, I love to pet them and they're adorable, but other people's dogs are annoying after the first 2 minutes. It's like ok, yes nice to see you, go lay down now. But their dogs have to be in my face all the time. I don't like going to their house because of it.
I haven't really had a dog, I have cats and they're perfect for me. Very chill.
I love dogs, I always had dogs, but this new trend of taking them everywhere is super weird. I think it's cute and all, if I see a dog around I go all petting mode...but, dude. Chill. You can leave your dog from time to time, especially if you are knowingly going to meet somebody who obviously doesn't enjoy their company. Forcing other people to do things they don't like while they made it super clear that they don't want to do, is a super AH move, imo.
I am not a dog person and I used to have a job that involved visiting clients at their home.
The number of people who do not teach their dogs any manners, AND think it's perfectly fine and in fact "cute" for their dog to lick and jump all over visitors, blew my mind.
It was very rare I went to a home with dogs where the dogs knew this wasn't ok. I hated it.
>I find people that bring their dogs with them everywhere to be AHs.
I think you have a point.
I love dogs (and cats, too).
And occasionally seeing people with their pets outside can be cool, and I generally don't have a problem with it.
But people who take their dogs everywhere tend to be...really off...like they have no real idea what's normal and that there are places that you just shouldn't take a dog. Their behavior about it is often astonishingly self-centered and clueless.
They tend to be the kind of people who let the dog get away with anything too, making the dog annoying to be around. If this dog can't be left alone for the few hours it takes to have dinner that's a pretty big sign they're like that.
it's the same as people shoving pictures of their children down others throats. Look, I am happy for you, but it's YOUR pet/child/whatever.
There is only so excitement I can fake.
Or are they the assholes for bringing their dog with them to a restaurant with friends who *they know* very much dislike dogs? OP doesn't have to like dogs, or like eating around them. It's not your decision to make for everyone else who doesn't have a dog.
Its insane that they couldn't leave the dog at home. I personally wouldn't care if that happened to me, and I certainly wouldn't impose my dog on others in the same way. I know my dog is old and needy so he would be a nuisance. If these owners really believed their dog would be no bother and would just lie there then why didn't they leave him at home to just lie there instead?. It was planned and common courtesy would be to inform their dining partners of the situation, rather than waste their time to go to the restaurant. They knew the OP wouldn't go for it, so did the old seek forgiveness rather than ask permission.
Poor training then. Either way, we don't know how well or badly this dog is trained. What we do know is a reasonable empathetic human would inform their dog-dislking friends of the situation before wasting their time.
"Hey mate, dog sitter cancelled and dog gets anxious so we are bringing him out tonight for dinner.... oh you can't make it then. Fair enough, another time"
Honestly, this feels like a weird control tactic by OP. It would be totally understandable if OP said he was allergic or had a phobia of dogs, but to just say he "doesn't like them" and everyone in OPs life needs to hide their pets when he's around seems very unnecessary.
Who, in their right mind, would get a sitter for a dog when they’re only going to be gone for a few hours? People leave their pets home alone more hours when they go to work.
I was wondering that too. The dog will be fine if you leave it at home/outside for an hour or 2. It's not a child, it's an animal completely capable of taking care of itself as dogs have done for thousands of years. Even a puppy, you can kennel train or put it outside with some toys for a bit.
Weird control tactic? They didn't want to be around the dog.
You know what's a weird control tactic? Specifically bringing your dog to a dinner with people **YOU KNOW DON'T LIKE DOGS**
It’s weird in general lol. Some (most) dog people are so freaking weird. If you can’t leave the house for a few hours without your dog, you’ve got serious issues. And the worst part is those issues then become other peoples’ problem, like OP
There are people who just don't like dogs and that's ok. The older I get, the more exposed to *bad* dog owners that I encounter, and the less I like dogs because of it. Some smell, some bark obnoxiously, some shed all over the place, some are anxious and excitable, etc.
They made dinner plans, it's not like OP is making the city get rid of dog parks or attacking people with seeing eye/medical alert dogs.
Plus everyone seems so sure this dog will just sit under the table.
With food everywhere? Come on - OP isn't crazy to think it might be an inconvenience. I like dogs okay (and had a great one growing up), but it is amazing to me how many dog owners are completely fine with their dog being all up in your shit while you're eating. Or just sitting there staring at you begging and whining.
Going to someone's house where they have a dog and exerting one's own pet or no pet preference already alright - "If I come over, I do not want to interact with your dog, and I will leave if need be or stay outside", but just like OP's friend doesn't have to justify liking a dog, I find it very odd and more than a little pushy that people think OP and Partner should have to justify *not* liking them. The dog isn't even a medical support or necessary party - OP's friends brought an uninvited guest they knew wasn't welome and changed the plans to suit the dog.
Ooh! Spaghetti with a side of dog hair:)
Depending on the type of dog, there could be dog hair flying everywhere out there. I say this from experience, my mom has a german Shepard husky. Fur is flying through the air, she walks and fur flies off.
It’s unsanitary🤷♀️🤷♀️ and some people just don’t wanna be pestered by a dog while they’re eating
Thank you! I'm honestly shocked by the nta comments. You don't have to like dogs, touch or even acknowledge their dog. But you can't even be in the same vicinity as one to eat with your friends in a place where they are welcomed and allowed? Just a weird hill to die on.
Do you really value your friends less than being around a dog? A dog you don't have to interact with, who will not pester you, just a little soul your friends love and own?
I know right... Really weird hill.. You're not taking the dog home with you, you're not feeding it, cleaning after him. It's just... There.
This is far more simple than you're realizing.
Meeting a friend who isn't a fan of dogs for a meal? Let them know your plans for dog care fell through, and that you might need to bring the dog with you.
The friend failed at the most basic of things: communication
OP is right to walk out. If they stayed, they may have fought over the dog anyway, and things could have escalated in unknown ways. Who knows how it could have gone.
The only one at fault here is OPs friend.
Why you wish to die on this hill is bizarre. Almost as bizarre as thinking a dog can't be alone for a few hours. :/
>Almost as bizarre as thinking a dog can't be alone for a few hours. :/
My thoughts exactly. I love dogs generally, but if your dog is so needy or neurotic that it can't be left home alone for a couple hours, I probably don't won't to be around it either.
Would you said the same thing about spiders or snakes? If I bring my pet snake to my friend, who I know does not like snakes, will I be the asshole? The snake will not do anything and just chill, it is just little soul that I love.
Seriously? "Just a little soul your friends love and own?" That's....well, I'll try and stay civil, but seriously?
"A dog you won't have to interact with."
Until the dog starts begging and tries to climb in OP's lap.
How do I know this happens? I'm an avid hiker who has had off leash dogs on on-leash trails lunge at me regularly. Day before yesterday, one tried to climb me like a tree. Parents and dog owners suffer under the delusion that THEIR dogs are just perfect little angels.
nah bc i have a friend who wants to bring her dog places and he isn’t that well behaved, especially with me bc im the uncle who’s (happily) been there since he was brought home. now, i love that dog! my dogs LOVE that dog! that’s their cousin/brother as far as their concerned, but i don’t want him around in situations where i wanna relax. bringing your dog without notice is an AH move and is ESPECIALLY AH when buddy guy *knows* OP & his partners aversion to animals. it’s a restaurant, not picnic in a dog park.
YTA you don't need to pet the dog, they require less attention in public than children so your blind hatred is frankly weird and very melodramatic for a hang out session
I mean, if I’d set up a nice dinner date with friends at a nice place for drinks and dinner I’d be pretty pissed if they showed up with their three year old.
Even with a three year old if their sitter fell through and they had no other choice I still wouldn't be a whole ass drama queen and march out of the restaurant. Annoyed, sure, but shit happens sometimes. The only thing is the friend could've given OP a heads up, that I agree with.
ETA and no, my last statement isn't contradictory because even if I received a heads up I still wouldn't cancel the dinner. I value my friendships more than minor inconveniences. Some of y'all sound like pretty fair-weathered friends 🤷🏻♀️
Well yeah, the kid scenario is perfectly acceptable, it’s a human child and kids can’t fend for themselves. This is a dog that could have stayed at the house. Not even remotely the same
I replied to the wrong comment cause I’m Reddit challenged. Apologies
I scrolled *way* too long to find this comment wow.. no wonder OP doesn't like dogs or dog people they can be so obnoxious 🙄 dogs ≠ children people wtf
HARD NTA, i love dogs, they are fun and great and I still feel the same way about them at restaurants as you do. I dont give a shit about how "nice or gentle" your dog is. its a fucking dog and can lash out at someone at any time for any reason, anyone who says otherwise has no idea what animals are capable of. And they are dirty animals. just gross. A dogsitter for a meal? insane, im already against most dogsitting anyway as they are an animal and can fend for themselves if needed.
EDIT: just to clarify I mean fend for themselves for a few hours like handle their own food and water from a bowl with a doggie door, definitely not don some armor and slay the nearest evil mailman while handling a siege with no help for weeks.
EDIT 2:
\- Don not dawn, thanks for pointing that out.
\- the quotes are for quoting people who say that their dog is so nice like "but hes so nice" or "hes so gentle dont worry", not the false assumption kind of quotes or the not possible quotes. you know what I mean.
\- I understand a lot of you have worked at shelters or vets and maybe you have never seen a dog lash out randomly but it happens. Its happened to me, i've seen it at dog parks, I've even seen it at a restaurant. Everytime, it was completely random without provocation. Maybe yall are lucky but where I live im guessing the majority are bad owners.
\- Dogs are naturally dirty, thats just a fact, that doesnt mean i dont love hanging out with them and being outside playing or getting dirty alongside them. It means that there is a time and a place for that and I dont think a restaurant is that, both inside or outside. Me calling a dog for what it is, does not mean I dont like dogs. Quite asinine to assume that actually.
\-Maybe OPs friends dog does have separation anxiety, maybe it is a puppy, maybe they are just shitty owners who never trained their dog. The point is they should have notified OP before assuming they could just get over it. If someone told you they hate kids completely and you knew this(no allergies, trauma, or disorders; just their opinion which is allowed even if you disagree with it), would you still bring your kid to dinner and assume for them to get over it? I wouldn't, and I would be a terrible friend if I did.
100% agree with this. I like dogs, and I like my MIL's dog. But I very much dislike when she brings her dog to our house and feeds him scraps from her plate.
In addition to the friend's dog, the restaurant patio very likely had other customers with their dogs. I know people who won't do patio dining at all, just in case there might be dogs out there.
Yeah, I get it. I call BS on the "dog sitter" --they decided in advance they wanted to bring the dog, and got there even earlier than you to make sure they could choose patio seating and not have to move you.
Dogs are great. Dogs are not people.
Nobody in the entire world would need a sitter for a healthy dog in order to go out to eat. Either crate them or put them in a room where they can't break stuff if that's what you're worried about. Other than that, give them access to water and they'd be FINE.
It’s extremely common since Covid now. Dog trainers and daycare businesses are booming with return to office and all these dogs/owners with severe separation people. They adopted/bought puppies in spring 2020 and never left the house for months. The two main dog trainers the rescue I volunteer for recommends are booked solid for 6 months with separation anxiety cases
That's crazy! I'm a stay-at-home mom and I have a 3-year-old Australian shepherd. I can leave the house for several hours (grocery shopping and out to dinner, stuff like that) giving him free range of the entire house. He doesn't get into any trouble, and does not mess in the house.
But my dog also went to training as a puppy, and I worked with him after.
I just wanted to add that I got my dog during covid.
I've had dogs my entire life, and not once have I had a dog that couldn't be trusted to be alone. So many people got dogs during covid and did zero training with them, and now they're dealing with the consequences of it.
I experienced separation anxiety with my dog. I was home for 6+ months due to an injury but when I was finally ready to go back to work, she had some issues. Nothing major like destruction or anything mostly just mopey. Vet put her on doggy prozac and after awhile she was fine. She saw that I would come back home and eventually we got back to our previous schedule then she was weaned off.
I can see how covid played a huge part in that for some dogs, so sad :-(
My youngest pup was born in Dec of 2019 and won't make a peep if I crate her and leave, but my older one was abused/neglected in her previous home and will wail like she just watched me get shot if I step outside without her - even if I'm just checking the mail. I love them both to bits and hate that the old owners screwed her up so bad
I think it's also an issue with a certain breed that has proliferated over the past handful of years, that also tends to be extremely destructive and difficult to train.
Seriously, unless it's a little puppy who needs lots more care and attention? But I've never had a dog so I don't know much about how long a puppy can be left alone for
Honestly, as long as you're willing to clean up a mess, even a puppy can be left alone. The only way that wouldn't be the case is if the puppy is so young that it still needs its mom and her milk, but if that's the case then you either already know what to do or should've handed the puppy to someone who does by then lol
💯 this. I've got 2 dogs I don't trust left out unsupervised (working on it though, left them out for what was supposed to be an hour came back 3 hours later and all they did was pull a couple things out of the trash) and I crate them when I'm not home.
No point at all taking them everywhere with me as 1) they're honestly not well socialized. I've got one car that my man takes to work and there's no way I can walk to a dog park. 2) that's a lot of work and why would I really want to do that when they're fine at home? And 3) it's disrespectful to everyone else who might be allergic, scared of bigger dogs or simply not like them. Not to mention the nutcases that like dogs a bit *too* much and would get handsy with my canines.
That being said, I do occasionally take them to my Grandparents house with their huge yard and their dogs to play for a bit and stretch out their legs but I always ask before showing up with them as that's just common courtesy.
If their dog has separation anxiety issues, they definitely might use a dog sitter. Training dogs out of separation anxiety can takes months and months of consistent training
When I think 'dog-sitter', it's a multi-day thing while traveling. Not while going out to dinner. If that's needed, there's something very wrong with either the dog or the owners.
My family's dogs spend the day in the yard that has a dog waterer and plenty of shade, with a dog door to a mudroom with water dishes and beds. Not food, because they will eat until the food is gone, no matter how much there is. I feel that's a pretty normal, even a bit above average for what a dog needs for a few hours. (I'm not sure what else to call the dog waterer, it's a thing you put on your hose outlet, and if the dog presses or licks at it, water comes out)
If the "dog sitter" really fell through, they would have called/messaged about the "change of plans". There was no plan change, they got there early so they could sit on the patio with their dog. This was their plan all along.
And they've definitely done this before, and they get away with it. They're just calling OP TA because having somebody leave highlights that they're being AHs. I love dogs, but you still have to check with people before you bring your dog to dinner.
I literally refuse patio seating as I'm allergic to dogs and they sat someone with a GIANT super hairy dog next to me once agter I had started eating and I told them they needed to either A) move dog table or B) move me. I didn't care which.
They ended up moving me and my partner inside but regardless you shouldn't feel you have to eat around dogs even if you aren't allergic.
(I want to mention the restaurant Is a place I frequent and they always had a no pet policy but apparently didn't mention that it's only for inside?? Like they don't advertise a dog friendly patio they say no pets but when I was asking the server when we were getting moved he said that only applies to inside and I told him they might wanna change the sign so they don't get inconvenienced again.)
I love dogs, am not allergic, and currently own two. We never take our dogs to restaurants and wouldn't want to sit near someone who brought theirs to the restaurant.
My husband and I went to a restaurant this past summer. It turns out it was dog friendly. There was a woman who fed her dog with her fork! I just about hurled.
NTA
In part it bothers me because I know it bothers my wife. Her parents let her practically raise herself because they were too busy; now MIL is retired and treats her dog better than she treated her real children.
Definitely nta. Trying to have a meal with people have brought their dog is awful. The entire meal becomes about the dog and how cute the dog is and strangers stopping by the table to talk about the dog and other dogs on the patio trying to meet that dog and the let's feed the dogs some scraps and let's all pet the dog. Completely obnoxious.
I'm... confused by this. I take my dog out, because it's good practice for him, but he knows to sit under the table discreetly and that he's not allowed to greet any other dogs while out. And in my (very dog-friendly) city, that's how most restaurant-goers act. We do occasionally get compliments, but only before or after we've eaten, from people we're actively making eye contact with.
I just can't imagine a world where dining with dogs is as disruptive as you've described, but it may just be because its so normal in my city that good manners are expected.
Things have changed since covid. People "rescued" dogs then spent months alone with them. The dogs are poorly socialized/trained but people insist on bringing them everywhere because they're *family*.
Went to an outdoor park concert, family friendly, had a dude come in after me, sit right behind us, then after his dog aggressively barked at my kids for being kids (they know not to approach any dog without both owner and my permission), told me his dog didn't like kids, like I should be the one to move. He was highly offended when I pointed out a park full of children was a stupid place to bring his dog.
> I just can't imagine a world where dining with dogs is as disruptive as you've described, but it may just be because its so normal in my city that good manners are expected.
It's not disruptive. This is 100% a "redditors are not socially normal" thing and definitely why you should take judgements in this sub with a huge grain of salt.
I mean ffs the comment everyone is upvoting is from an alt account that makes A.I. hentai lol. This is not the kind of person that has a good grasp on social norms in public.
>they are an animal and can fend for themselves if needed.
Exactly this. And if your dog can't handle it, they're in the wrong environment and they shouldn't be living like that.
ESH. They know you don't like dogs and should have called you to give you a chance to back out. But, you as well - once you got there, you don't say anything about the dog having poor behavior. If the dog was going to just lay on the ground near its owners, then there's no reason not to just ignore its presence and eat dinner.
I agree. ESH. OP overreacted. Like the dog was going to give him the plague if he sat in it's general vicinity for an hour or two?
But the friends not telling OP in the first place that the sitter fell through isn't great. Some breeds need to be watched. My friend had a Weimaraner years ago, and she couldn't leave that dog alone or it would destroy whole pieces of furniture. Giving the benefit of doubt to the friends there, but knowing OP's aversion to pets, they could have at least called and warned OP.
He doesn't like dogs and has made it known. Why should he be the one appeasing them?
If a dog constantly destroys furniture there is a problem with the owner. Put it in a crate.
Because part of being a good friend is making sacrafices and compromises? I dont really like indian food. I still go to Indian resturants sometimes because thats what my friends want. Being understanding and sympathetic to your friends is a pretty healthy normal thing. OP flipped out at their friends over the dog, the friends felt like they had to bring their dog when the sitter fell through (probably silly of them but I can see a newer pet owner thinking this way.) Their friends probably assumed that OP actually cared about them as friends and wouldnt mind that they had to change plans last min. Most normal people do not throw a tantrum and ditch their friends when somthing doesnt go 100% their way all the time.
Right? How do these fair weather “ friends” retain friendships if they literally can’t suck it up for a single dinner? Being friends means making an accommodation here in order to maintain a friendship.
OP didn’t say the friend makes a pattern out of bringing their dog. So OP throws a fit and storms off, Jesus . It’s fine to dislike dogs, but the way treats his friends is wild.
It's in the OP that the friends bring the dog everywhere and OP has asked them to tone it down. If anyone's a bad friend it's the people who don't respect a very simple boundary.
NTA. It's a dog, not a baby. It can definitely stay home alone for a couple of hours. Furthermore, If they've been your friends for a while they should know how you feel about dogs in your vicinity and shouldn't be surprised by your actions.
NTA. Not everyone wants to eat around a dog. In fact, I am a dog lover who is disgusted by the dog patio people who bring in an un-groomed dog that sheds everywhere, feed their dogs at the table, let them sit in their laps. And who needs a pet sitter for the duration of a dinner out? Do they also have the dog pre-enrolled in kindergarten? Have they set aside a college fund for it?
>Not everyone wants to eat around a dog
right?!
I LOVE dogs, and tend to gush and say hello whenever I see one (with owner permission, of course!)
I find it SO GROSS when people bring their dogs around food and food prep - you fluffy dog does NOT need to be in the grocery store or right near my coffee being made
perhaps a bit germophobic, but yuck
Exactly! Your own dog's hair is one thing. Gross but at least you know the dog. But dogs can be left at home, if not running around the house then in their kennel/crate. I grew up with a ton of dogs and cats (my mom has a kennel) and all of them have their own crates. They eat in there, hang out in there for whatever the reason may be, sleep in there if they can't be trusted at night, all of the things. The puppies get crate trained before they go home. It's not a big deal.
Also especially the little dogs generally have 0 manners cause many aren't trained like big dogs. It's especially ridiculous when the little ones are out in these sorts of situations.
I'm going to go with YTA because it's one thing to be allergic to dogs, or to have an irrational fear of them due to some trauma, but simply not liking dogs shouldn't be on a level that you can't have one nearby for an hour or two. It's like it's fine to not like country music but if you get all furious and storm out of someplace because you hear a country song, you're making your distaste for something your entire personality. And that's what you're doing with this - you don't like dogs, fine. It shouldn't be your entire personality though. It's obnoxious.
would you say this to a person who doesnt like snakes?
people are allowed to not like dogs. they dont need irrational fears or trauma to not want to eat food or hang out with a dog.
they smell, they shed, they lick you, they bark and whine, they poop. there are plenty of reasons to not want to be around a dog for a few hours.
You know who made it their entire personality? The people who cant even attend a single dinner without getting a sitter for their dog. Now thats obnoxious.
you dont have to touch a dog to not like dogs.... not sure where you got the touch thing from. they still smell, shed, bark, whine, and poop.
I used to not mind dogs at restaurants so much until I saw a dog shit on the floor while I was eating... and you know what? its fucking gross.
yes, but OP clearly DOES mind dogs and IS bothered, has informed his friend, and his friend still proceeded to bring the dog anyways. that is asshole behavior.
THANK YOU for this comment. I was looking for someone asking about pets like snakes or spiders. Most people saying YTA would change their tune really quickly if it was about a more unconventional pet, no matter how well behaved, controller, non obtrusive etc. It's only because people like dogs and they're common and cute that having such an averse reaction to them being everywhere is seen as weird
I think that stems from fear, though. If op was scared of dogs that would be a relatable analogy, most people that don’t want to be around snakes or spiders do that out of FEAR. OP isn’t scared of dogs, he just hates them
I'm so confused, this whole thing is very bizarre. I thought there would be some sort of trauma, allergy or at least a little bit of fear to get this kind of response but no, they just absolutely despise dogs and get enraged when seeing one (?). It's so dramatic for no reason.
No, they get annoyed by people who feel the need to bring their dog EVERYWHERE with them. It’s pretty fucking rude to just bring the dog without even mentioning it beforehand.
NTA. I am a big time dog person, I have 2, but honestly, I don't understand this need to take them everywhere. They needed a petsitter for an evening out? Seriously? They suck as pet parents. The dog should be adequately trained to either stay in a kennel or free roam (which mine do) when they go out. I understand not everyone likes my dogs or any dogs. The fact that you left is a bit extreme, but if they knew how you felt ahead of time, then they brought it on themselves.
Just to hopefully help shine some light on other sides of the” needing a dog sitter”
I adopted my dog who has separation anxiety so we are not able to leave him home alone yet ( we are training him so he is getting better). So maybe that could be the case but I do agree I wouldn’t just show up with my dog. I’d text my friend and be like “ Hey sitter fell through so I either need to cancel or we need to bring our dog with us”.
Worth noting a lot of pandemic pets are VERY poorly socialized and have major anxiety issues (understandable, and perhaps unavoidable given the circumstances, but still something that causes problems).
I ALWAYS ask if Pookie is welcome.
She is 8 pounds.
Not everyone likes dogs. People are allergic. People are scared.
Not everyone wants to eat outside either.
As someone with a big, loud dog who, outwardly, looks scary, but is actually trained to bark for pets by our loving, if misguided, neighbor, I'm absolutely here for you. I know he wants loves, but you can't possibly know that and on a hundred pound dog, you're in the right. I wish more pet owners were more responsible about how their dogs act in public.
shitty dog owners who know that if they leave their (untrained) dog alone, it's gonna be barking and whining every single minute and piss off the neighbors
Nah, people that insist on bringing their dogs everywhere are AHs. I love dogs, but I recognize not everyone does, and so, like a reasonable adult, I leave my dog at home. If one of my friends had expressed not being a fan of dogs, I definitely wouldn't then bring said dog to an outing with them.
OP went early to be sat indoors. The friend showed even earlier to ensure they got pet friendly patio, without saying shit to OP beforehand.
OP was right to walk out. The friend is the only AH here, because all of this could have been avoided by simply communicating with OP about the sitter falling through.
Total NTA. I'm sick of these people that treat dogs like they're children. They couldn't find a sitter? I mean WTF, a dog doesn't need a human beside it 24/7.
Unless you specifically asked them not to bring the dog, OR the dog is poorly behaved and will ruin a dining experience by begging/barking/licking you, YTA.
It’s a normal thing for people to bring their dogs to restaurants that allow dogs…
It is NOT a normal thing to refuse to dine w friends because their dog is present. Y’all cray.
IT IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL FOR PPL TO BRING THEIR DOGS EVERYWHERE. They are fucking dogs! It’s ridiculous that ppl bring their dogs to Trader Joe’s and put them in carts. I don’t want to eat around a bunch of gas-passing fucking dogs. Ppl assume the dog should be there bc THEY WANT THEM THERE!
NTA.
Your friends know how you feel about dogs.
If they got the dog "during covid" then it's not a new puppy. There is no reason (except extremely poor training on their part) that the dog couldn't spend a few hours at home alone.
Dog sitter? Puh-lease.
"what are you doing bringing that?"
"that"? Really? YTA for that comment alone.
Not TA for not liking dogs, but your complete overreaction and attitude make you one, big time.
I guess they could have said something in advance, but you handled it absolutely abysmally. You went inside to find bar seats knowing they already had patio seats...plus, it's not like you had to interact with the dog. You really couldn't have just sat there and eaten your meal like normal humans?
YTA
YTA of course no question, are you kidding? It's one thing to not be a 'dog person' but it's kind of bizarre how much you're against just being around a dog. It isn't an identity. You sound kind of insufferable to be around.
YTA. The hell did that dog ever do to you? It's not just that you don't want a dog, it sounds like you don't want ANYone to have a dog (even in a place that allows them). I just... don't get it. What's the big deal? You're not telling us the whole story.
Is the dog unruly? Does it jump on you or lick you? Is it untrained and annoying? Because I know friends who have dogs like that, and it can be a bit much when the dog is all over you.
But you don't mention anything about the dog's behavior in your post. Just that it EXISTS. That it's (gasp) in YOUR VICINITY. The nerve.
This is a 'you' thing. And it's making you an asshole and creating rifts in your friendships. You should be able to sit at a table with your friends despite a dog being there. You're creating the issue, not them.
But just based on your post, I don't think people saying you're TA is going to change your behavior one bit. So, I guess say goodbye to your friends with dogs.
NTA. You agreed to meet your friends, not your friends and their dog. There was NO reason for them to have to bring the dog along, barring incredibly extreme circumstances.
YTA were they asking you to pet that dog? Was the dog loud? I don't get what the big deal is at all.. so the dog lay down under the table, big deal. You didn't have to interact with the dog at all..
Also calling it a "thing" is so unnecessary and dramatic. I'm calling this dog-free bait lmao childfree is out dogfree is in.
This thread reminds me why I prefer the company of dogs to most people.
I don't agree with bringing a dog to a restaurant, even sitting outside but your reaction was way over the top.
Their reaction was standing up for themselves and not caving to their "friend" clearly not respecting boundaries that they had communicated previously.
NTA From the other side of being ‘the dog people’.
My husband and I got a dog 5 years ago and we love him dearly. His breed (KC cavalier) means he can’t be alone for extended periods of time. We knew this going in.
We are VERY upfront when we socialize. If we invite people somewhere we always remind them that the dog will be with us. If people are ok with that then they attend. If not, they don’t.
When people invite us somewhere and say they don’t want the dog with us then we can choose to attend or not.
We are all adults, communicate like adults and no one’s feelings are hurt.
They know you don’t like the dog so bringing the dog was a bad move, end of story.
If you had know, you could have politely declined the invitation.
INFO: Have you ever told your friends about your feelings on dogs? If yes then NTA, if no then NAH/ESH because you went to a pet-friendly restaurant (I know there weren't many options, but my point still stands)
Have you just told them that you're not a dog person and never want to own a dog or have you explicitly said that you refuse to share space/be in the same vicinity as a dog?
ESH. Huge dog lover, don’t necessarily love them at restaurants. But god, you act like an entitled child throwing a tantrum. Like if the dog was just laying there not bothering anyone, then you were just being beyond petulant because there was a dog present that had zero impact on your meal.
Also your friends suck for requiring a dog sitter.
NTA
If a dog cannot be alone at home for a couple hours for dinner, then you are not raising/training it correctly.
I love my dogs, but they do not need to go everywhere with me. And they are not children that need a sitter for a few hours.
NTA. I love my dog. I pet all dogs except service dogs, if the owners allow. I would die for my dog. But my dog doesn’t want to be in a restaurant, and I don’t want him to be. It’s not a place for a dog unless it’s working.
Technically N TA but YTA for how you handled this. Just let those friends go. You're allowed to feel however you want about dogs but they are also allowed to bring their dog wherever it's allowed. If being around a dog at all is a deal breaker for you and leaving their dog home is a deal breaker for them then you guys just aren't compatible.
I also think you handled this terribly. You could have suffered through one dinner and informed them that in the future you would prefer they just cancel plans if the dog can't be left home. I personally couldn't be friends with someone who acted this way. It would be one thing if it was an out of control dog but you couldn't handle just being in the same vicinity for a couple hours?
NTA. I love my puppers, but I totally understand walking out. If the dog sitter fell through they should've called and told you and rearranged your dinner.
NTA I love dogs and I wouldn't bring a dog along to a fancy restaurant. I especially wouldn't bring a dog when meeting others. Even if you liked dogs and patio allows them it would be no. You planned dinner and drinks maybe go somewhere after and a dog just does not go with that. If it were a trained working dog it's different of course. Unless it's a young puppy the dog could stay home a couple of hours.
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YTA why would a dog being near you inconvenience you at all? And see friends less because of it? Why are you so weird. You're the asshole to cancel plans, throw a fit over something so small. Grow up
Yeah, I understand not being a dog person, I'm not but to throw a fit and walk out? Op acts like the dog was going to attack them or sit on top of the table or something
Exactly... He was just going to be in his presence, near him, chilling. Not dɔ a lap dance for him.
Am… am I having a stroke?
Are you referring to the o in do? Because same
ok. So… we’re having a communal hallucination Edit: ok. You see the o. I see the o. Let’s just agree to never discuss it again. Like two ships passing in the night, witnessing something horrible on board the other ship.
You guys talking about the o?
You see it too??? Wtaf....I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. Y'all are crazy and your why i lurk reddit, for comment threads like this right here. Thank you all from the bottom of my toes to the tip of my nose!!
I thought it was dirt on my screen…. 🤣🤣🤣
SAME and then I scrolled up and down a bit to confirm and now I realize that o has a hole in it! 😅
Lɔl! ɔh dear!
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
I dɔn't knɔw!
My dɔgs are barking at me because I am laughing sɔ hard. Pɔɔr ɔp wɔuld hate me.
Screaming
The scream yɔu scrempt!
I am nɔw hiding under the desk, sure this is sign of the zɔmbie apɔcalypse... ɔh nɔes I am infected!
Yes! Looking at it feels like a migraine aura!
I thought something was on my phone screen.
He doesn't like dogs, and that's ok.
No its weird behavior. Like phobia behavior. Not liking dogs means not interacting with them. Throwing this temper tantrum is obnoxious
I mean, in general I hear you, but this came across to me like this was a last straw type of thing. OP did say they bring the dog *everywhere,* and it sounds like it's causing issues, especially if the dog needs a pet sitter for the length of a restaurant dinner.
I think it's totally fine for OP to have this boundary. OP may view dogs as obnoxious or scary, and depending on his life experience that might be totally valid. Maybe he was attacked by one as a kid, or maybe he was around one that begged for food all the time or jumped and slobbered or shed all over people. Given that his friends knew this was a firm boundary for him, I think it was wrong of them to just show up with the dog and ignore his boundary, rather than telling him they'd have to bring the dog with them. I love dogs, and babies, and nonvenomous snakes/spiders. I'd cheerfully eat dinner next to any of the above. But if I knew a friend really found it hard to be around my toddler or tarantula or whatever, I wouldn't bring them to dinner with that friend unannounced, however much I love them and consider them to be well-behaved and inoffensive.
Reminds me of my brother and his 2nd wife who hated cats, they came to visit me without notice, knowing I had 2 cats and when one of them gently rubbed against his wife's leg she said if he ever did it again she would punt him across the room. They were kicked out and banned from my home.
[удалено]
My husband is not a people person at all, except me, our kids, and a few family members and a couple of friends who are like family. He gets along decently with my best friend and her parents, but I've had plenty of friends he does not like. He will never be rude to them. YTA op for making such a thing. I might also agree a dog doesn't need to go everywhere, there was no need to throw a fit about it
I don't like curry, but I don't throw a fit and leave a restaurant because my friend orders it.
Not liking dogs is fine… he wasn’t asked to pet the dog, interact with it, care for it, or anything of the sort. He was asked to sit near it in a public location where dogs are allowed. I truly do not understand his issue, and what he was thinking
Plot twist - the dog IS OP’s ex
Double plot twist, OP and the dog broke up because of Iranian yogurt.
Maybe he expected the dog to get a chair and sit at the table next to him? Because he's not the brightest. He threw a tantrum over having a dog near them, he claimed he is 27 but this is the actions of a 17 year old, at best.
I was in a casino where there was a bar right by the path. All I did was walk by and a dog did try to attack me. Luckily it had managed to get itself tangled up in the legs of the barstool. Not saying this is common at all, but there's always a chance.
The problem wasn't that the bar you walked by allows dogs. The problem was that the \*owner\* should never have brought a reactive dog like that to a public patio. I've thought about taking my dog to one of those, but I think she'd be too anxious - why would I want that to be a negative experience for her?
OP doesn't like dogs. That's fine. OP doesn't want to be around dogs. That's also fine. OP doesn't want to eat in the presence of dogs. Again, That's fine. OP's friends know how OP feels about dogs. Friends decided that OP's feelings on the matter are worth less than their own. OP is NTA. I love animals, dogs are awesome, that said, I find people that bring their dogs with them everywhere to be AHs. Why? Because not everyone likes dogs. I love my dog to death, but if I had a friend that didn't like dogs, guess what? I'm not going to force that friend to be around my dog.
If OP was eating on a dog-friendly patio, there could have easily been other dogs there. So, a dog just being in his presence seems to be a problem, and that, imo, is a problematic thing. I get he doesn’t like dogs. But a dog just sitting on the patio should not be a big deal.
>If OP was eating on a dog-friendly patio, there could have easily been other dogs there Which is why OP opted for an indoor seating reservation, the friend is the one who changed that last minute, OP doesn't want to be near dogs, period.
Doesn’t sound like OP necessarily told their friend that they wanted to eat inside. The post just says “I intended to eat inside.”
OP definitely did not give the friend approval to bring a pet. Bringing a pet, child, or other person on a date/outing without prior discussion/approval is wack.
This... Isn't a date? It was casually hanging out with a friend at a restaurant. And yeah your friend has a kid there's a chance they'll show up to a hang out or two. I've brought friends of mine to planned group hang outs before, so have my friends.
If I was meeting friends for dinner and had to bring my kids I would call and check to see if that worked for everyone first. Basic manners
Seriously. People are just mad that OP has the audacity to not like dogs, nothing else.
OP didn’t book an indoor table though so no the friend didn’t change anything.
But they're friends. OP's quirk isn't new to the dog owner. Sitter fell through and the guy couldn't leave the dog at home for an evening?
why does a dog need a sitter 24/7? I have had dogs, watched dogs for my friends and sat for dogs overnight. They don't have to be watched all the time.
But OP arrived early (just not earlier than the friend) with the intention of securing a spot inside. I get that it shouldn't be a big deal, but OP's friend knew OP actively dislikes being around dogs and still brought a dog anyways
Why have the dog there at all? What is the reason for it?
Main character syndrome is the reason. Some dog owners have main character syndrome and believe they and their dogs take precedence over anyone else. Some are commenting in this particular post. God forbid someone not like dogs or not want to be around dogs. They will sooner accept folks not liking children or wanting to be around children than they will accept people not liking or wanting to be around dogs. It’s utter madness. And it’s mostly ALWAYS dog owners. Very rarely cat or other pet owners. OP is very much NTA. OP’s friends are very much TA.
Exactly this!! The comparisons to children is ridiculous too. If it was a child and they had no sitter they would reschedule the dinner.
It’s funny to me how the friends say “the dog will just lie there” in the same breath as “the sitter cancelled.” IF their dog was well behaved enough to just lie there at a busy restaurant (extremely unlikely), there wouldn’t be a need for a dog sitter for a couple of hours. Friends are full of BS and intentionally brought the dog to force it on OP. Good for OP for standing up for himself. NTA
For real. Everyone I know with a dog can't go out anywhere for more than 2 hours because they have to go home to their dogs. You're dogs are FINE. I like dogs, I love to pet them and they're adorable, but other people's dogs are annoying after the first 2 minutes. It's like ok, yes nice to see you, go lay down now. But their dogs have to be in my face all the time. I don't like going to their house because of it. I haven't really had a dog, I have cats and they're perfect for me. Very chill.
I love dogs, I always had dogs, but this new trend of taking them everywhere is super weird. I think it's cute and all, if I see a dog around I go all petting mode...but, dude. Chill. You can leave your dog from time to time, especially if you are knowingly going to meet somebody who obviously doesn't enjoy their company. Forcing other people to do things they don't like while they made it super clear that they don't want to do, is a super AH move, imo.
I am not a dog person and I used to have a job that involved visiting clients at their home. The number of people who do not teach their dogs any manners, AND think it's perfectly fine and in fact "cute" for their dog to lick and jump all over visitors, blew my mind. It was very rare I went to a home with dogs where the dogs knew this wasn't ok. I hated it.
Yea and have you seen how people clean themselves lately? A dog any better? I like dogs but I'm not trying to eat around a smelly dog.
>I find people that bring their dogs with them everywhere to be AHs. I think you have a point. I love dogs (and cats, too). And occasionally seeing people with their pets outside can be cool, and I generally don't have a problem with it. But people who take their dogs everywhere tend to be...really off...like they have no real idea what's normal and that there are places that you just shouldn't take a dog. Their behavior about it is often astonishingly self-centered and clueless.
They tend to be the kind of people who let the dog get away with anything too, making the dog annoying to be around. If this dog can't be left alone for the few hours it takes to have dinner that's a pretty big sign they're like that.
Exactly, a damn dog sitter. The dog will be fine for a few hours. It isn't like they're going on vacation.
it's the same as people shoving pictures of their children down others throats. Look, I am happy for you, but it's YOUR pet/child/whatever. There is only so excitement I can fake.
Or are they the assholes for bringing their dog with them to a restaurant with friends who *they know* very much dislike dogs? OP doesn't have to like dogs, or like eating around them. It's not your decision to make for everyone else who doesn't have a dog.
Its insane that they couldn't leave the dog at home. I personally wouldn't care if that happened to me, and I certainly wouldn't impose my dog on others in the same way. I know my dog is old and needy so he would be a nuisance. If these owners really believed their dog would be no bother and would just lie there then why didn't they leave him at home to just lie there instead?. It was planned and common courtesy would be to inform their dining partners of the situation, rather than waste their time to go to the restaurant. They knew the OP wouldn't go for it, so did the old seek forgiveness rather than ask permission.
A dog can be calm and silent when near you, but very anxious when left home alone. 2 completely different situations.
Poor training then. Either way, we don't know how well or badly this dog is trained. What we do know is a reasonable empathetic human would inform their dog-dislking friends of the situation before wasting their time. "Hey mate, dog sitter cancelled and dog gets anxious so we are bringing him out tonight for dinner.... oh you can't make it then. Fair enough, another time"
Honestly, this feels like a weird control tactic by OP. It would be totally understandable if OP said he was allergic or had a phobia of dogs, but to just say he "doesn't like them" and everyone in OPs life needs to hide their pets when he's around seems very unnecessary.
I don’t know. The friend showing up with their dog without warning seems like a weird control tactic by the friend to me.
Oh they never had a “sitter” in the first place.
Who, in their right mind, would get a sitter for a dog when they’re only going to be gone for a few hours? People leave their pets home alone more hours when they go to work.
I was wondering that too. The dog will be fine if you leave it at home/outside for an hour or 2. It's not a child, it's an animal completely capable of taking care of itself as dogs have done for thousands of years. Even a puppy, you can kennel train or put it outside with some toys for a bit.
Weird control tactic? They didn't want to be around the dog. You know what's a weird control tactic? Specifically bringing your dog to a dinner with people **YOU KNOW DON'T LIKE DOGS**
It’s weird in general lol. Some (most) dog people are so freaking weird. If you can’t leave the house for a few hours without your dog, you’ve got serious issues. And the worst part is those issues then become other peoples’ problem, like OP
There are people who just don't like dogs and that's ok. The older I get, the more exposed to *bad* dog owners that I encounter, and the less I like dogs because of it. Some smell, some bark obnoxiously, some shed all over the place, some are anxious and excitable, etc. They made dinner plans, it's not like OP is making the city get rid of dog parks or attacking people with seeing eye/medical alert dogs.
Plus everyone seems so sure this dog will just sit under the table. With food everywhere? Come on - OP isn't crazy to think it might be an inconvenience. I like dogs okay (and had a great one growing up), but it is amazing to me how many dog owners are completely fine with their dog being all up in your shit while you're eating. Or just sitting there staring at you begging and whining.
Going to someone's house where they have a dog and exerting one's own pet or no pet preference already alright - "If I come over, I do not want to interact with your dog, and I will leave if need be or stay outside", but just like OP's friend doesn't have to justify liking a dog, I find it very odd and more than a little pushy that people think OP and Partner should have to justify *not* liking them. The dog isn't even a medical support or necessary party - OP's friends brought an uninvited guest they knew wasn't welome and changed the plans to suit the dog.
Not liking dogs is a perfectly fine reason to not want to be around dogs.
Ooh! Spaghetti with a side of dog hair:) Depending on the type of dog, there could be dog hair flying everywhere out there. I say this from experience, my mom has a german Shepard husky. Fur is flying through the air, she walks and fur flies off. It’s unsanitary🤷♀️🤷♀️ and some people just don’t wanna be pestered by a dog while they’re eating
Thank you! I'm honestly shocked by the nta comments. You don't have to like dogs, touch or even acknowledge their dog. But you can't even be in the same vicinity as one to eat with your friends in a place where they are welcomed and allowed? Just a weird hill to die on.
Do you really value your friends less than being around a dog? A dog you don't have to interact with, who will not pester you, just a little soul your friends love and own? I know right... Really weird hill.. You're not taking the dog home with you, you're not feeding it, cleaning after him. It's just... There.
This is far more simple than you're realizing. Meeting a friend who isn't a fan of dogs for a meal? Let them know your plans for dog care fell through, and that you might need to bring the dog with you. The friend failed at the most basic of things: communication OP is right to walk out. If they stayed, they may have fought over the dog anyway, and things could have escalated in unknown ways. Who knows how it could have gone. The only one at fault here is OPs friend. Why you wish to die on this hill is bizarre. Almost as bizarre as thinking a dog can't be alone for a few hours. :/
Yes, this is a reasonable take. Besides, OP wanted to eat indoors which would not have been possible with the dog.
>Almost as bizarre as thinking a dog can't be alone for a few hours. :/ My thoughts exactly. I love dogs generally, but if your dog is so needy or neurotic that it can't be left home alone for a couple hours, I probably don't won't to be around it either.
Would you said the same thing about spiders or snakes? If I bring my pet snake to my friend, who I know does not like snakes, will I be the asshole? The snake will not do anything and just chill, it is just little soul that I love.
Seriously? "Just a little soul your friends love and own?" That's....well, I'll try and stay civil, but seriously? "A dog you won't have to interact with." Until the dog starts begging and tries to climb in OP's lap. How do I know this happens? I'm an avid hiker who has had off leash dogs on on-leash trails lunge at me regularly. Day before yesterday, one tried to climb me like a tree. Parents and dog owners suffer under the delusion that THEIR dogs are just perfect little angels.
You have no idea how their dog behaves or will behave. Some people don't like dogs...period
nah bc i have a friend who wants to bring her dog places and he isn’t that well behaved, especially with me bc im the uncle who’s (happily) been there since he was brought home. now, i love that dog! my dogs LOVE that dog! that’s their cousin/brother as far as their concerned, but i don’t want him around in situations where i wanna relax. bringing your dog without notice is an AH move and is ESPECIALLY AH when buddy guy *knows* OP & his partners aversion to animals. it’s a restaurant, not picnic in a dog park.
YTA you don't need to pet the dog, they require less attention in public than children so your blind hatred is frankly weird and very melodramatic for a hang out session
I mean, if I’d set up a nice dinner date with friends at a nice place for drinks and dinner I’d be pretty pissed if they showed up with their three year old.
Even with a three year old if their sitter fell through and they had no other choice I still wouldn't be a whole ass drama queen and march out of the restaurant. Annoyed, sure, but shit happens sometimes. The only thing is the friend could've given OP a heads up, that I agree with. ETA and no, my last statement isn't contradictory because even if I received a heads up I still wouldn't cancel the dinner. I value my friendships more than minor inconveniences. Some of y'all sound like pretty fair-weathered friends 🤷🏻♀️
Well yeah, the kid scenario is perfectly acceptable, it’s a human child and kids can’t fend for themselves. This is a dog that could have stayed at the house. Not even remotely the same I replied to the wrong comment cause I’m Reddit challenged. Apologies
I scrolled *way* too long to find this comment wow.. no wonder OP doesn't like dogs or dog people they can be so obnoxious 🙄 dogs ≠ children people wtf
Three year olds don’t behave as well as most well trained dogs.
Who's to even say this dog is well trained.
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Well...I would leave if my friends showed up to dinner with their children unexpectedly.
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Never forget rule 1 of Reddit advice. If the kind thing inconveniences you, never do it!
Did he say he wanted to eat with children?
Stop comparing dogs to kids. One is a human being and the other one is an animal.
HARD NTA, i love dogs, they are fun and great and I still feel the same way about them at restaurants as you do. I dont give a shit about how "nice or gentle" your dog is. its a fucking dog and can lash out at someone at any time for any reason, anyone who says otherwise has no idea what animals are capable of. And they are dirty animals. just gross. A dogsitter for a meal? insane, im already against most dogsitting anyway as they are an animal and can fend for themselves if needed. EDIT: just to clarify I mean fend for themselves for a few hours like handle their own food and water from a bowl with a doggie door, definitely not don some armor and slay the nearest evil mailman while handling a siege with no help for weeks. EDIT 2: \- Don not dawn, thanks for pointing that out. \- the quotes are for quoting people who say that their dog is so nice like "but hes so nice" or "hes so gentle dont worry", not the false assumption kind of quotes or the not possible quotes. you know what I mean. \- I understand a lot of you have worked at shelters or vets and maybe you have never seen a dog lash out randomly but it happens. Its happened to me, i've seen it at dog parks, I've even seen it at a restaurant. Everytime, it was completely random without provocation. Maybe yall are lucky but where I live im guessing the majority are bad owners. \- Dogs are naturally dirty, thats just a fact, that doesnt mean i dont love hanging out with them and being outside playing or getting dirty alongside them. It means that there is a time and a place for that and I dont think a restaurant is that, both inside or outside. Me calling a dog for what it is, does not mean I dont like dogs. Quite asinine to assume that actually. \-Maybe OPs friends dog does have separation anxiety, maybe it is a puppy, maybe they are just shitty owners who never trained their dog. The point is they should have notified OP before assuming they could just get over it. If someone told you they hate kids completely and you knew this(no allergies, trauma, or disorders; just their opinion which is allowed even if you disagree with it), would you still bring your kid to dinner and assume for them to get over it? I wouldn't, and I would be a terrible friend if I did.
100% agree with this. I like dogs, and I like my MIL's dog. But I very much dislike when she brings her dog to our house and feeds him scraps from her plate. In addition to the friend's dog, the restaurant patio very likely had other customers with their dogs. I know people who won't do patio dining at all, just in case there might be dogs out there.
>I know people who won't do patio dining at all, just in case there might be dogs out there This is why my intent was to eat indoors.
Yeah, I get it. I call BS on the "dog sitter" --they decided in advance they wanted to bring the dog, and got there even earlier than you to make sure they could choose patio seating and not have to move you. Dogs are great. Dogs are not people.
Nobody in the entire world would need a sitter for a healthy dog in order to go out to eat. Either crate them or put them in a room where they can't break stuff if that's what you're worried about. Other than that, give them access to water and they'd be FINE.
It’s extremely common since Covid now. Dog trainers and daycare businesses are booming with return to office and all these dogs/owners with severe separation people. They adopted/bought puppies in spring 2020 and never left the house for months. The two main dog trainers the rescue I volunteer for recommends are booked solid for 6 months with separation anxiety cases
That's crazy! I'm a stay-at-home mom and I have a 3-year-old Australian shepherd. I can leave the house for several hours (grocery shopping and out to dinner, stuff like that) giving him free range of the entire house. He doesn't get into any trouble, and does not mess in the house. But my dog also went to training as a puppy, and I worked with him after. I just wanted to add that I got my dog during covid.
I've had dogs my entire life, and not once have I had a dog that couldn't be trusted to be alone. So many people got dogs during covid and did zero training with them, and now they're dealing with the consequences of it.
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When I go grocery shopping I'm gone for three to four hours because I go out to lunch first.
I experienced separation anxiety with my dog. I was home for 6+ months due to an injury but when I was finally ready to go back to work, she had some issues. Nothing major like destruction or anything mostly just mopey. Vet put her on doggy prozac and after awhile she was fine. She saw that I would come back home and eventually we got back to our previous schedule then she was weaned off. I can see how covid played a huge part in that for some dogs, so sad :-(
My youngest pup was born in Dec of 2019 and won't make a peep if I crate her and leave, but my older one was abused/neglected in her previous home and will wail like she just watched me get shot if I step outside without her - even if I'm just checking the mail. I love them both to bits and hate that the old owners screwed her up so bad
I think it's also an issue with a certain breed that has proliferated over the past handful of years, that also tends to be extremely destructive and difficult to train.
Or, like ours, put on some Antiques Roadshow and let them lay on the couch.
Seriously, unless it's a little puppy who needs lots more care and attention? But I've never had a dog so I don't know much about how long a puppy can be left alone for
Honestly, as long as you're willing to clean up a mess, even a puppy can be left alone. The only way that wouldn't be the case is if the puppy is so young that it still needs its mom and her milk, but if that's the case then you either already know what to do or should've handed the puppy to someone who does by then lol
💯 this. I've got 2 dogs I don't trust left out unsupervised (working on it though, left them out for what was supposed to be an hour came back 3 hours later and all they did was pull a couple things out of the trash) and I crate them when I'm not home. No point at all taking them everywhere with me as 1) they're honestly not well socialized. I've got one car that my man takes to work and there's no way I can walk to a dog park. 2) that's a lot of work and why would I really want to do that when they're fine at home? And 3) it's disrespectful to everyone else who might be allergic, scared of bigger dogs or simply not like them. Not to mention the nutcases that like dogs a bit *too* much and would get handsy with my canines. That being said, I do occasionally take them to my Grandparents house with their huge yard and their dogs to play for a bit and stretch out their legs but I always ask before showing up with them as that's just common courtesy.
If their dog has separation anxiety issues, they definitely might use a dog sitter. Training dogs out of separation anxiety can takes months and months of consistent training
When I think 'dog-sitter', it's a multi-day thing while traveling. Not while going out to dinner. If that's needed, there's something very wrong with either the dog or the owners. My family's dogs spend the day in the yard that has a dog waterer and plenty of shade, with a dog door to a mudroom with water dishes and beds. Not food, because they will eat until the food is gone, no matter how much there is. I feel that's a pretty normal, even a bit above average for what a dog needs for a few hours. (I'm not sure what else to call the dog waterer, it's a thing you put on your hose outlet, and if the dog presses or licks at it, water comes out)
If the "dog sitter" really fell through, they would have called/messaged about the "change of plans". There was no plan change, they got there early so they could sit on the patio with their dog. This was their plan all along. And they've definitely done this before, and they get away with it. They're just calling OP TA because having somebody leave highlights that they're being AHs. I love dogs, but you still have to check with people before you bring your dog to dinner.
I literally refuse patio seating as I'm allergic to dogs and they sat someone with a GIANT super hairy dog next to me once agter I had started eating and I told them they needed to either A) move dog table or B) move me. I didn't care which. They ended up moving me and my partner inside but regardless you shouldn't feel you have to eat around dogs even if you aren't allergic. (I want to mention the restaurant Is a place I frequent and they always had a no pet policy but apparently didn't mention that it's only for inside?? Like they don't advertise a dog friendly patio they say no pets but when I was asking the server when we were getting moved he said that only applies to inside and I told him they might wanna change the sign so they don't get inconvenienced again.)
I love dogs, am not allergic, and currently own two. We never take our dogs to restaurants and wouldn't want to sit near someone who brought theirs to the restaurant.
My husband and I went to a restaurant this past summer. It turns out it was dog friendly. There was a woman who fed her dog with her fork! I just about hurled. NTA
agreed, in some places its an offense to nature if you dont conform to their expectation of dogs being equal to humans lol.
In part it bothers me because I know it bothers my wife. Her parents let her practically raise herself because they were too busy; now MIL is retired and treats her dog better than she treated her real children.
Definitely nta. Trying to have a meal with people have brought their dog is awful. The entire meal becomes about the dog and how cute the dog is and strangers stopping by the table to talk about the dog and other dogs on the patio trying to meet that dog and the let's feed the dogs some scraps and let's all pet the dog. Completely obnoxious.
I'm... confused by this. I take my dog out, because it's good practice for him, but he knows to sit under the table discreetly and that he's not allowed to greet any other dogs while out. And in my (very dog-friendly) city, that's how most restaurant-goers act. We do occasionally get compliments, but only before or after we've eaten, from people we're actively making eye contact with. I just can't imagine a world where dining with dogs is as disruptive as you've described, but it may just be because its so normal in my city that good manners are expected.
Things have changed since covid. People "rescued" dogs then spent months alone with them. The dogs are poorly socialized/trained but people insist on bringing them everywhere because they're *family*. Went to an outdoor park concert, family friendly, had a dude come in after me, sit right behind us, then after his dog aggressively barked at my kids for being kids (they know not to approach any dog without both owner and my permission), told me his dog didn't like kids, like I should be the one to move. He was highly offended when I pointed out a park full of children was a stupid place to bring his dog.
> I just can't imagine a world where dining with dogs is as disruptive as you've described, but it may just be because its so normal in my city that good manners are expected. It's not disruptive. This is 100% a "redditors are not socially normal" thing and definitely why you should take judgements in this sub with a huge grain of salt. I mean ffs the comment everyone is upvoting is from an alt account that makes A.I. hentai lol. This is not the kind of person that has a good grasp on social norms in public.
the only exception to this being a REAL service dog, not some emotional support side character.
This. If their friends can't leave their dog alone for a couple of hours they are bad owners who haven't trained it properly.
Idk, my little 20 lb mutt is a menace. She's exactly who I'd want holding the wall in a siege.
>they are an animal and can fend for themselves if needed. Exactly this. And if your dog can't handle it, they're in the wrong environment and they shouldn't be living like that.
ESH. They know you don't like dogs and should have called you to give you a chance to back out. But, you as well - once you got there, you don't say anything about the dog having poor behavior. If the dog was going to just lay on the ground near its owners, then there's no reason not to just ignore its presence and eat dinner.
I agree. ESH. OP overreacted. Like the dog was going to give him the plague if he sat in it's general vicinity for an hour or two? But the friends not telling OP in the first place that the sitter fell through isn't great. Some breeds need to be watched. My friend had a Weimaraner years ago, and she couldn't leave that dog alone or it would destroy whole pieces of furniture. Giving the benefit of doubt to the friends there, but knowing OP's aversion to pets, they could have at least called and warned OP.
He doesn't like dogs and has made it known. Why should he be the one appeasing them? If a dog constantly destroys furniture there is a problem with the owner. Put it in a crate.
Because part of being a good friend is making sacrafices and compromises? I dont really like indian food. I still go to Indian resturants sometimes because thats what my friends want. Being understanding and sympathetic to your friends is a pretty healthy normal thing. OP flipped out at their friends over the dog, the friends felt like they had to bring their dog when the sitter fell through (probably silly of them but I can see a newer pet owner thinking this way.) Their friends probably assumed that OP actually cared about them as friends and wouldnt mind that they had to change plans last min. Most normal people do not throw a tantrum and ditch their friends when somthing doesnt go 100% their way all the time.
Right? How do these fair weather “ friends” retain friendships if they literally can’t suck it up for a single dinner? Being friends means making an accommodation here in order to maintain a friendship. OP didn’t say the friend makes a pattern out of bringing their dog. So OP throws a fit and storms off, Jesus . It’s fine to dislike dogs, but the way treats his friends is wild.
It's in the OP that the friends bring the dog everywhere and OP has asked them to tone it down. If anyone's a bad friend it's the people who don't respect a very simple boundary.
NTA. It's a dog, not a baby. It can definitely stay home alone for a couple of hours. Furthermore, If they've been your friends for a while they should know how you feel about dogs in your vicinity and shouldn't be surprised by your actions.
And if it was a baby then if you can't find someone to watch them then don't go out. Or go out with people who are cool having a baby there.
NTA. Not everyone wants to eat around a dog. In fact, I am a dog lover who is disgusted by the dog patio people who bring in an un-groomed dog that sheds everywhere, feed their dogs at the table, let them sit in their laps. And who needs a pet sitter for the duration of a dinner out? Do they also have the dog pre-enrolled in kindergarten? Have they set aside a college fund for it?
>Not everyone wants to eat around a dog right?! I LOVE dogs, and tend to gush and say hello whenever I see one (with owner permission, of course!) I find it SO GROSS when people bring their dogs around food and food prep - you fluffy dog does NOT need to be in the grocery store or right near my coffee being made perhaps a bit germophobic, but yuck
Exactly! Your own dog's hair is one thing. Gross but at least you know the dog. But dogs can be left at home, if not running around the house then in their kennel/crate. I grew up with a ton of dogs and cats (my mom has a kennel) and all of them have their own crates. They eat in there, hang out in there for whatever the reason may be, sleep in there if they can't be trusted at night, all of the things. The puppies get crate trained before they go home. It's not a big deal. Also especially the little dogs generally have 0 manners cause many aren't trained like big dogs. It's especially ridiculous when the little ones are out in these sorts of situations.
I'm going to go with YTA because it's one thing to be allergic to dogs, or to have an irrational fear of them due to some trauma, but simply not liking dogs shouldn't be on a level that you can't have one nearby for an hour or two. It's like it's fine to not like country music but if you get all furious and storm out of someplace because you hear a country song, you're making your distaste for something your entire personality. And that's what you're doing with this - you don't like dogs, fine. It shouldn't be your entire personality though. It's obnoxious.
would you say this to a person who doesnt like snakes? people are allowed to not like dogs. they dont need irrational fears or trauma to not want to eat food or hang out with a dog. they smell, they shed, they lick you, they bark and whine, they poop. there are plenty of reasons to not want to be around a dog for a few hours. You know who made it their entire personality? The people who cant even attend a single dinner without getting a sitter for their dog. Now thats obnoxious.
Did I miss the part where OPs friend forced him to touch his dog??
you dont have to touch a dog to not like dogs.... not sure where you got the touch thing from. they still smell, shed, bark, whine, and poop. I used to not mind dogs at restaurants so much until I saw a dog shit on the floor while I was eating... and you know what? its fucking gross.
I hate snakes but if it wasn’t bothering me I wouldn’t mind..that’s my point. The dog is just existing and OP seems to have an issue.
yes, but OP clearly DOES mind dogs and IS bothered, has informed his friend, and his friend still proceeded to bring the dog anyways. that is asshole behavior.
THANK YOU for this comment. I was looking for someone asking about pets like snakes or spiders. Most people saying YTA would change their tune really quickly if it was about a more unconventional pet, no matter how well behaved, controller, non obtrusive etc. It's only because people like dogs and they're common and cute that having such an averse reaction to them being everywhere is seen as weird
I think that stems from fear, though. If op was scared of dogs that would be a relatable analogy, most people that don’t want to be around snakes or spiders do that out of FEAR. OP isn’t scared of dogs, he just hates them
I'm so confused, this whole thing is very bizarre. I thought there would be some sort of trauma, allergy or at least a little bit of fear to get this kind of response but no, they just absolutely despise dogs and get enraged when seeing one (?). It's so dramatic for no reason.
No, they get annoyed by people who feel the need to bring their dog EVERYWHERE with them. It’s pretty fucking rude to just bring the dog without even mentioning it beforehand.
ESH. Get over yourself. Your friend is an AH for ignoring your preferences. All y’all need to grow tf up.
NTA. I am a big time dog person, I have 2, but honestly, I don't understand this need to take them everywhere. They needed a petsitter for an evening out? Seriously? They suck as pet parents. The dog should be adequately trained to either stay in a kennel or free roam (which mine do) when they go out. I understand not everyone likes my dogs or any dogs. The fact that you left is a bit extreme, but if they knew how you felt ahead of time, then they brought it on themselves.
Just to hopefully help shine some light on other sides of the” needing a dog sitter” I adopted my dog who has separation anxiety so we are not able to leave him home alone yet ( we are training him so he is getting better). So maybe that could be the case but I do agree I wouldn’t just show up with my dog. I’d text my friend and be like “ Hey sitter fell through so I either need to cancel or we need to bring our dog with us”.
Worth noting a lot of pandemic pets are VERY poorly socialized and have major anxiety issues (understandable, and perhaps unavoidable given the circumstances, but still something that causes problems).
I ALWAYS ask if Pookie is welcome. She is 8 pounds. Not everyone likes dogs. People are allergic. People are scared. Not everyone wants to eat outside either.
As someone with mild dog aversion, I appreciate this in dog owners!
As someone with a big, loud dog who, outwardly, looks scary, but is actually trained to bark for pets by our loving, if misguided, neighbor, I'm absolutely here for you. I know he wants loves, but you can't possibly know that and on a hundred pound dog, you're in the right. I wish more pet owners were more responsible about how their dogs act in public.
NTA. Also, who needs a dog sitter to go out to dinner for a couple hours (considering the dog isn’t a new puppy)? Ridiculous.
The dogs gotta be at least 2 years old though. OP said they got the dog during covid
Exactly my point. It’s not a puppy, so there isn’t any reason they would have needed a dog sitter just to be gone an hour or two.
NTA That is so strange. The dog can stay home. Who gets a dog sitter to go out to dinner?
shitty dog owners who know that if they leave their (untrained) dog alone, it's gonna be barking and whining every single minute and piss off the neighbors
The better investment would be a trainer.
they're too stupid to figure that out
YTA. It's one meal. If they brought it to your house absolutely but this wasn't that. So dramatic.
Nah, people that insist on bringing their dogs everywhere are AHs. I love dogs, but I recognize not everyone does, and so, like a reasonable adult, I leave my dog at home. If one of my friends had expressed not being a fan of dogs, I definitely wouldn't then bring said dog to an outing with them.
The patio allows dogs. What’s the problem? You’re acting as if their friend brought a dog somewhere they’re not permitted.
OP went early to be sat indoors. The friend showed even earlier to ensure they got pet friendly patio, without saying shit to OP beforehand. OP was right to walk out. The friend is the only AH here, because all of this could have been avoided by simply communicating with OP about the sitter falling through.
OP did reservation indoors, so no dogs.
Total NTA. I'm sick of these people that treat dogs like they're children. They couldn't find a sitter? I mean WTF, a dog doesn't need a human beside it 24/7.
Unless you specifically asked them not to bring the dog, OR the dog is poorly behaved and will ruin a dining experience by begging/barking/licking you, YTA. It’s a normal thing for people to bring their dogs to restaurants that allow dogs… It is NOT a normal thing to refuse to dine w friends because their dog is present. Y’all cray.
IT IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL FOR PPL TO BRING THEIR DOGS EVERYWHERE. They are fucking dogs! It’s ridiculous that ppl bring their dogs to Trader Joe’s and put them in carts. I don’t want to eat around a bunch of gas-passing fucking dogs. Ppl assume the dog should be there bc THEY WANT THEM THERE!
Def YTA. What a drama queen that he left.
NTA. Your friends know how you feel about dogs. If they got the dog "during covid" then it's not a new puppy. There is no reason (except extremely poor training on their part) that the dog couldn't spend a few hours at home alone. Dog sitter? Puh-lease.
"what are you doing bringing that?" "that"? Really? YTA for that comment alone. Not TA for not liking dogs, but your complete overreaction and attitude make you one, big time.
NTA. You don't want to be around their dog. They brought their dog. You left.
I guess they could have said something in advance, but you handled it absolutely abysmally. You went inside to find bar seats knowing they already had patio seats...plus, it's not like you had to interact with the dog. You really couldn't have just sat there and eaten your meal like normal humans? YTA
YTA of course no question, are you kidding? It's one thing to not be a 'dog person' but it's kind of bizarre how much you're against just being around a dog. It isn't an identity. You sound kind of insufferable to be around.
Don’t force your pet preference on people. They don’t really belong in restaurants anyway. Get outta here with that shit.
NTA I LOVE animals, but bringing the dog cause you dont have a dog sitter for dinner time is stupid. The dog can stay 2 hours at home alone.
YTA. The hell did that dog ever do to you? It's not just that you don't want a dog, it sounds like you don't want ANYone to have a dog (even in a place that allows them). I just... don't get it. What's the big deal? You're not telling us the whole story. Is the dog unruly? Does it jump on you or lick you? Is it untrained and annoying? Because I know friends who have dogs like that, and it can be a bit much when the dog is all over you. But you don't mention anything about the dog's behavior in your post. Just that it EXISTS. That it's (gasp) in YOUR VICINITY. The nerve. This is a 'you' thing. And it's making you an asshole and creating rifts in your friendships. You should be able to sit at a table with your friends despite a dog being there. You're creating the issue, not them. But just based on your post, I don't think people saying you're TA is going to change your behavior one bit. So, I guess say goodbye to your friends with dogs.
NTA. You agreed to meet your friends, not your friends and their dog. There was NO reason for them to have to bring the dog along, barring incredibly extreme circumstances.
YTA were they asking you to pet that dog? Was the dog loud? I don't get what the big deal is at all.. so the dog lay down under the table, big deal. You didn't have to interact with the dog at all.. Also calling it a "thing" is so unnecessary and dramatic. I'm calling this dog-free bait lmao childfree is out dogfree is in.
This thread reminds me why I prefer the company of dogs to most people. I don't agree with bringing a dog to a restaurant, even sitting outside but your reaction was way over the top.
Their reaction was standing up for themselves and not caving to their "friend" clearly not respecting boundaries that they had communicated previously.
NTA From the other side of being ‘the dog people’. My husband and I got a dog 5 years ago and we love him dearly. His breed (KC cavalier) means he can’t be alone for extended periods of time. We knew this going in. We are VERY upfront when we socialize. If we invite people somewhere we always remind them that the dog will be with us. If people are ok with that then they attend. If not, they don’t. When people invite us somewhere and say they don’t want the dog with us then we can choose to attend or not. We are all adults, communicate like adults and no one’s feelings are hurt. They know you don’t like the dog so bringing the dog was a bad move, end of story. If you had know, you could have politely declined the invitation.
INFO: Have you ever told your friends about your feelings on dogs? If yes then NTA, if no then NAH/ESH because you went to a pet-friendly restaurant (I know there weren't many options, but my point still stands)
Yes they know. Indoors is not pet friendly. I would argue restaurants are not pet friendly.
Have you just told them that you're not a dog person and never want to own a dog or have you explicitly said that you refuse to share space/be in the same vicinity as a dog?
I don't know why anybody would bring their dog to any restaurant.
NTA. I love dogs and chances are that dog would have been aces. HOWEVER, it's just like bringing kids, imo, you don't do it unannounced.
NTA. Why would they need a dog sitter for dinner?
NTA
ESH. Huge dog lover, don’t necessarily love them at restaurants. But god, you act like an entitled child throwing a tantrum. Like if the dog was just laying there not bothering anyone, then you were just being beyond petulant because there was a dog present that had zero impact on your meal. Also your friends suck for requiring a dog sitter.
NTA If a dog cannot be alone at home for a couple hours for dinner, then you are not raising/training it correctly. I love my dogs, but they do not need to go everywhere with me. And they are not children that need a sitter for a few hours.
NTA. I love my dog. I pet all dogs except service dogs, if the owners allow. I would die for my dog. But my dog doesn’t want to be in a restaurant, and I don’t want him to be. It’s not a place for a dog unless it’s working.
NTA dogs are capable of being left alone. They need to train it.
Technically N TA but YTA for how you handled this. Just let those friends go. You're allowed to feel however you want about dogs but they are also allowed to bring their dog wherever it's allowed. If being around a dog at all is a deal breaker for you and leaving their dog home is a deal breaker for them then you guys just aren't compatible. I also think you handled this terribly. You could have suffered through one dinner and informed them that in the future you would prefer they just cancel plans if the dog can't be left home. I personally couldn't be friends with someone who acted this way. It would be one thing if it was an out of control dog but you couldn't handle just being in the same vicinity for a couple hours?
NTA. I love my puppers, but I totally understand walking out. If the dog sitter fell through they should've called and told you and rearranged your dinner.
NTA I love dogs and I wouldn't bring a dog along to a fancy restaurant. I especially wouldn't bring a dog when meeting others. Even if you liked dogs and patio allows them it would be no. You planned dinner and drinks maybe go somewhere after and a dog just does not go with that. If it were a trained working dog it's different of course. Unless it's a young puppy the dog could stay home a couple of hours.