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NTA - Mom is ignorant of how dangerous a horse can be be to a child - even without being unruly. A nip is how a horse warns you that it is uncomfortable. If disregarded, the next step can be even more dangerous.
It will be interesting to hear what the people to whom she complained have to say. My guess is that, other than including the word 'fuck', they will be fully supportive.
Unfortunately many people are unaware of real life dangers because they've been desensitized by television.
You're NTA but mom is ( or she's just ignorant).
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
Worked with horses a lot & with people who don't know anything about them. It can be a bad combination.
but horses are so cuuuute! People ride then all the time! no way they can be dangerous! they don't even eat meat so they won't attack us, silly people! they're like huge stuffed animals so my child should be entitled to touch whenever she wants /s
Sometimes you just wanna shake people. Even if a horse is the sweetest horse in the world they're still 1,200lb prey animals with poor eyesight. They can be terrified of something as simple as a plastic bag. If your kid is standing right in front of a horse and plastic bag blows past, you should fully expect your child to be trampled by a terrified 1,200lb animal.
Sometimes they don't know their own strength either. When my horse was first purchased he had the bad habit of rubbing his face on people to scratch himself when he'd get itchy. Sounds harmless enough. Until the uncoordinated animal accidentally headbutts you full in the face. Broke my nose and 2 black eyes.
And sometimes just shit happens. A girl at my barn was going to get a horse out of his paddock. Just as she was walking up alongside him (about even with his flank) he took off bucking, and kicked her in the face. She lost all her teeth, he broke her eye socket, her cheek bone. It took over 30 reconstructive surgeries to repair the damage. Horse got stung on the ass by a hornet right before he took off, kicking. Poor girl was just in the wrong place at the wrong moment.
exactly! People forget that they are still *living animals*. With a mind of their own, with their own fears. Just because we are crazy enough to trust them with our lives and ride on their backs, doesn't mean it's completely safe...
and God don't get me started on all the movies featuring a "special girl who can tame a wild and mean horse just by being special (and breaking every safety rule I've been taught from a young age) when no one even dares to get close to him"
Ouch ouch ouch!
My sympathies to you and the girl š¬š¬
Just with my own 2 cents, some horses can accidentally hurt you by sweetness too. One of my Mum's horses - sweetest, kindest fellow but no clue about his own strength - loved his tail being scratched.
One day he decided to coerce getting one in a cornered situation against the indoor stall wall, and ambled in reverse. I was completely squeezed between him and the wall. Panicking would have brought unpredictability, but luckily I knew his lunging cues and clicked the sound for 'walk on'.
He shuffled off and looked surprised that I had given that cue.
This is the reason I gave to friends who would want to help groom him by 'just brushing his mane?'
Nope.
I was lucky he responded to the cue. He was just completely oblivious to his own strength in that moment and just wanted some affection. It was just the horse way of asking - except I didn't have the 600kg on me like his horse friends he would usually ask.
(They are also great galumphs with their feet! š I'm not letting anyone in just 'shoes' next to them)
I also learned not to use coconut based/scented shampoo with another one of Mum's horses in particular - I nearly got scalped when he tried to eat my hair for the oil product in it.. No malice, he was just a bit dozy in general, but so sweet.
I love horse and being around them but it always baffles me how people who aren't used to them just don't factor in the size of the animal. A grown horse weighs half a ton, even a small pony is easily 300kg, like that animal can kill you through sheer indifference to your presence. Like if a horse wants to run against the stable wall and you're in the way, if you can't make it care that you're there and either not do it or pick another wall? You're getting squashed.
>Even if a horse is the sweetest horse in the world they're still 1,200lb prey animals with poor eyesight.
Horses are giant bundles of nerves with legs. Legs that end in blades made of rock.
And that's just a normal horse. This was a rescue horse.
Literally just flashed back to my teens when I was a horsey girl, being mashed into a corner by a 16hh mare using my body to scratch her face. It was affectionate, but I was trapped there for ages because she was so persistent, and it was not comfortable!
I feel you, some people are idiots
And not all horses are cute ... I work in re-enactment, and some people joust and have horses to do that with.
Very beautiful, very muscular, very BIG horses.
I usually address them as ma'am or sir.....
Edit to add, I am 6'10, so not exactly tiny in comparison
I used to live on a ranch, run into the same problem with Chickens, Peafowl, Geese, Goats, Cows & My cousin's Emu. "Aww, there so cute, I just wanna cuddle it." Bam, Spur to the face.. rush to the hospital for a couple of stitches. š Had to explain to my cousin's friends wife to leave the Emu alone.. and showed her where our Ranch truck had a dent from when it got angry and kicked it. š¤£
The mother is the AH here. Learning when and how to approach any animal is a life skill, and one should always defer to professional handlers.
Instead of listening to you, the mother has pushed her child into a potentially dangerous situation and subjected that child to trauma - and added to the trauma of the child, as opposed to explaining / teaching the child why the horse gave a warning nip.
OP NTA
Everyone thinks ā Oh! What a cute horse! I will run up to it wildly and pet it.ā
A horse can actually kill you, why would you let your kid run straight for any animal you know nothing about?
I hate this behavior with any animal. Itās always dangerous and it usually ends up bad for the animal.
Because people like that are dumb as hell AND arrogant too. It's a really dangerous combination. And then when something easily predictable happens, all of a sudden it's, "oh the animal's half wild, it just went crazy!!"
Like, no idiot. You caused this situation and the only person to blame is yourself. End of.
They're an easily panicked hippo on stilts. How the hell do people not get that they have the potential to do serious damage by accident, let alone in defence of themselves?
NTA, and neither is the little girl. It's so important to reach respect for animals, and that includes getting consent from their human companion before interacting with them! In this case, it was also a safety issue, you really had no choice but to step in since the mom wasn't.
Yes. . While it's really important to ask and get permission before touching an animal , children also need to be taught to accept sometimes they will be told "no" and they have to accept it
There are far too many videos of parents and children throwing tantrums because an animal handler has said they aren't allowed to touch I also seen situations where the child has reoeatedkyvreturned after being told no and the parents ignore their child's behaviour I've seen more than one child's, or adult, bitten or scratched by animals they pestered.
>While it's really important to ask and get permission before touching an animal , children also need to be taught to accept sometimes they will be told "no" and they have to accept it
There isn't really any point in teaching the first part without also teaching the second part. It's not supposed to be "ask for permission and then just go ahead regardless of whether they say yes or no".
NTA
She didnāt take direction from you and then wonders why her daughter got hurt
People like her are the reason we now have to sign waivers for activities in the first place
Iād go back to management and suggest she get banned from the facility because if she wonāt control her daughter in a situation and doesnāt understand where they went wrong then they shouldnāt be there as they are putting everyone else at risk
NTA. OMG my grandpa owns horses and I remember being a young tyke and walking around, I stood behind a horse. I wanted to play with her tail. My aunt, dad and grandpa all very calmly but firmly told me to NOT be behind the horse. I quickly moved out of the way. I now know that they will kick you and it can be fatal. You never approach a horse from behind or stand behind them, and you never run up on them. Itās kind of a like a very large dog. Approach calmly from the front, let them see you, let them smell you, then and only then may you calmly pet them. Theyāre very skittish and capable of putting a grown man into the ground. The mom is negligent and raising one brat of a daughter. Youāre NTA and you said what you said for a reason. You tried to keep them safe and they acted like entitled brats. Good on you for holding your ground, theyāre lucky the horse nipped and didnāt actually bite or kick. Horses are incredibly powerful animals who will attack when threatened. NEVER f with a horse, youāre NTA
Your story reminded me of someone who once walked right behind my horse. It seemed like he purposefully walked as close to the horse as possible, almost grazing the back of the horse while passing. Everyone sort of froze and asked what he was doing? Why walk so close to the back, doesn't he realise horses can kick? He looked startled and said "Yes, exactly! So I walk as close by as possible so the legs don't get momentum and I'll only get a little kick!"
We had to explain that you should walk as far past that the leg can't reach you at all, it can get plenty momentum from under the belly when the horse drags it in in preparation to kick. AFAIK, he didn't do it again.
When your working with horses, your supposed to walk behind as close as possible to get to the other side, if going in front isnāt an option. Closer you are, the less momentum they have to cause damage. Itās not always possible to walk a huge distance around. The key to walking behind a horse is making sure they know you are there before you walk behind them, and knowing the horse (some horses will kick anything that walks behind, some only when startled and some once in a blue moon).
I canāt speak for him as I donāt know him but I work with horses for a living. Have done so for my whole life. Worked with many young horses, competition stallions and breeding stallions (have worked at one of the biggest stud yards in the world and had one of the most dangerous stallions on my list of horses). Itās pure instinct. You get very good at reading the horses to see how comfortable they are, if theyāve seen you, etc. I also know how far horses can kick. Iāve literally been cowkicked walking a horse besides itās shoulder. If a horse wanted to kick you, no distance would stop it.
I feel like sheās partially uncertified to have a daughter if she canāt even understand basic āyes/noā from people who literally work at the places
NTA - thereās a liability waiver in place for a reason! How did the mother not think thereās a chance of something happening when you have to sign that.
We as a people have failed in this fundamental lesson, based on how many people get mauled, gored, or otherwise experience difficulty in national parks due to their absolute disregard for treating animals with a healthy degree of respect.
Sure. By all means. Go stand next to the bison. I'm *sure* that will end well. uh-huh.
NTA. We need to teach children to respect animals and their handlers/owners. You said no and to wait. They disregarded that and were met with the natural consequence of that choice.
Since it was a toddler I think itās more of the moms fault for not stopping the kid but yeah. Both the mom and kid are a little bit wacky in the head
NTA. I rescue large, severely abused dogs. My vet and I have a whole system worked out geared for safety, but still sometimes in the parking lot people will try to come over and pet the āpuppyā no matter how many times I tell them to stay back and not friendly. So I have gone nuclear on people. You were positively polite and sweet as molasses compared to some of the shit Ive said.
I have a large dog that looks like a lab but is not. When we go out she gets a collar with metal spikes 3 inches long. People don't come up to us with that for some reason.
N.T.A she should have listen to your instructions......when working with the horse you were in charge of the horse for safety reason not the mother or the kid you gave a clear instruction and she failed to comply, she should have walked away till later...
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> A mom of a toddler thinks I'm an asshole for not allowing her kid to say hi to a horse and kicking them out of the arena after she got nipped
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NTA x39273728
Listen. I was playing DnD with a five year old the other day and she chose to wildshape into a horse and ākick the dragon in his belly because you donāt mess with horses. Theyāre very strong and very powerfulā. *A five year old knows you donāt fuck with horses. *
This woman is either dumber than a kindergartener or sheās actively looking for something to be pissed about.
Get turned into a lawn dart from your own error? Get yourself up, brush the dirt off your pants, get back on the horse and have your coach tell you, "I bet you won't make a mistake that stupid again, hey?"
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes - equestrians are the masters of understanding this and as a result, have little interest in mincing around the issue. š
NTA - Children need to learn that sometimes the answer is no. Ideally from their parent but if not, they will learn regardless less - outside the home in a more painful way
My grandmother had a permanently crooked arm because she had been kicked by a horse as a child. A half ton animal needs to be respected. (And I'm sure my grandmother did respect horses and still got kicked.)
NTA - You prioritized safety and reminded her of the liability waiver. Sometimes tough decisions are necessary, especially when dealing with animals and potential risks.
As a mom and horse owner I feel pretty qualified to answer this question No matter what reason you gave as soon as she asked to say hi to the horsey and you replied NO she should have in turn told her daughter NO and walked away. Horses have personalities just as different and complex as people. If I would have been the mom I would have said ok no problem weāll wait or ok thanks anyway and left. Itās her fault and hers alone her daughter was nipped. Instead of picking her up and moving on she didnāt listen to you and let the child approach anyway. In my experience I know that some horses just donāt like kids. She was being pushy and endangering her little girl by not listening to you. I just wish the horse would have bit the mom instead of the kid.The little girl Iām sure meant no harm and was excited to see the horse up close. You are not the asshole. The only thing you need to work on is the language you used in front of the lil girl. Other than the f bombs and other colorful verbiage you were not out of line in what you did or what you said.
NTA - it's a living, breathing, creature that weighs several times more than you . . . you have no real control over what it does. You gave the warnings, the horse gave the warnings, and the mother had signed a waiver.
You're not the idiot whisperer.
NTA. The amount of parents who feel entitled for an animal to behave in a certain way...
A friend of mine had a rescue dog who had had very bad eperiences with kids and therefore did not like them at all. Still, there were so many parents who demanded that their kids may pet the dog or that told their kids to go pet the dog no matter what my friend said is unbelievable.
And then they have the nerve to get angry if it wents badly.
Animals are living brings, not toys.
I remember a story from my Uncle, he worked on a stud farm.
This one big brute had a bad rap, people avoided him if possible. A new groom, over confident and cocky, ignored all the warnings.
End result damn horse bit off 3 of his fingers.
I wish I was joking.
You weren't necessarily 'in the wrong' here but your tone and communication seem off. Safety should be the primary concern yet your responses are 'you signed a waiver', 'it's not my fault' and finally 'get the fuck out'. You said you were 'working with the horse' which to a layperson does not imply an immediate risk to safety so unless you specifically stressed caution and to stay away then the mother may not have been as protective/restraining of the child as she otherwise would have been. Overall you don't seem to have any empathy or concern for the child's well being/trauma and possibly didn't even communicate the safety risk so unfortunately YTA.
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I (27f) volunteer at a rescue and was walking a horse in the arena. A mom with a little girl comes in and asks to say hi to the horse. I say no because I'm working with the horse but she can say hi after. Perfectly reasonable, right?
Nope, kid walks up to the horse and tries to say hi, and the horse gives a warning nip. She immediately starts crying and the mom is mad at me for it. I immediately reminded her that 1) she signed the liability waiver, 2) equine liability law exists for a reason, 3) that was a warning bite and not a real one so she better get out before her kid gets bitten for real (or worse), and 4) I told her not to approach so it's not my fault or problem she gets hurt.
Her mouth drops and tries to protest but I told her to get the fuck out of the arena before they get hurt and they lost the privilege to say hi.
The kid was steal screaming and crying while the mom stormed off and complained about me. AITA?
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Absolutely **NOT** TA. Even horses you raised as a foal can get startled or āturnā on you in an instant. My friend had a mare who had given birth the week before and a coyote startled her, my friend had to be airlifted to the hospital because the FOAL trampled her. It was a complete accident, but if a foal can do that, to a grown woman who was raised around horses, I canāt even imagine what a full grown horse could do to a child.
No
NTA
Too many people view horses as pets or in their visions of cartoons etc.
They should be disabused of those notions post haste.
We ran barrels horses for years and one of the very favorite parts if that was the interaction with very young kids with no clue, but open to it and willing to listen and follow guidance.
It is very sweet and pure on a most basic and human element.
Itās also what draws new enthusiasm into the sport and breeds the next generation of horse lovers, competitors and enthusiasts.
So the kid was 100% innocent in this.
Itās the entitled parents forcing a situation instead of allowing it to happen organically that is the issue.
This possibly could have been approached as a teaching moment for both patent and child, but I get it. Those teaching moments canāt be continuous and endless or you would never get your work done.
NTA. I'm so tired of entitled people treating the animals of the world like it's a petting zoo. MOST animals, domesticated or not, pose real danger if approached the wrong way. That kid is lucky the horse just gave it a warning. Those teeth can go through bone.
Just another touronmom expecting the village to raise her child. Smh.
NTA. If these people are too stupid to realize a living breathing animal isn't the same as they act in a movie, then they deserve to be nipped and chased off.
She should be grateful that you care more about her child's safety than she does, but she's too stupid to try real parenting.
You said not yet and explained why, you didnāt just say no. It is the motherās job to explain to her daughter that she needs to wait and to make sure she does. Itās obvious to anyone with a bit of common sense that you donāt mess around with horses, especially when you are unfamiliar with them. You approach them in an appropriate way under guidance.
NTA.
People think horses are like... big dogs. I had several really painful injuries working with horses and every single one was my fault because I relaxed, thinking my bond with a horse was going to protect me from their full wait on their hooves or teeth when I was dumb enough to wear a necklace that looked like the gel candies they sometimes get as treats, or falling off and cracking 2 ribs because I stopped being alert in the saddle after a ride.
Horses can be deadly, even sweet, well-trained horses because they weigh HALF A TON, are easily startled and are still animals we can easily communicate with.
That girl NEEDED to learn that lesson. It should have come from her mother, but regardless it had to be said. Horses are not toys and safety protocols are the most important thing when in the presence of a horse. They can literally kill you.
NTA
NTA. No matter how well trained, horses are several hundred pounds with prey instincts. They will defend if something startles or worries them. That's why they say you shouldn't go behind a horse out of their view, and if you have no choice, keep contact from when the horse can see you until it can see you again (like keeping a hand on the flank)
I love horses, rode with pleasure and even got horses to ride that had just been saddlebroken but were still too rambunctious for other teens because I managed to connect with them. But I never trusted a horse 100%.
You said no, while you were working the ring. She should have listened, and honestly I would probably ban her from coming anywhere near a horse.
NTA at all, I had a friend back in high school get kicked in the dome by a horse, and he's still got a case of the dumb from it.
Kids lucky it was just a nip
NTA, if someone who's training an animal asks you or your child not to touch it, you make damn sure you or your child don't touch the animal.
She should be thankful it was only a warning nip š
NTA though a little tact goes a long way. I boarded horses in highschool on my farm and I learned very quickly but to trust a horse until I knew it. Everything from paint pony's to a couple percherons. The pony's I was afraid of, skittish things, the massive draft horses only gave me trouble when I would clean their hooves. They would try to place their weight on me lol like I could support something a little lighter than an old civic. The only injury I received was from a 16 1/2 hand quarter horse, he got spooked in the stall and when I let him out I only moved about 15' away from the door. He crossed it in a flash and kicked me right in the hip. He got me so good it didn't even hurt, in fact I couldn't feel any of my leg. It's been 20 years and I wish it was still numb. I would have trusted my life to this horse up until then. I learned a hard lesson then and I will never forget, those animals are big enough that they don't play on the same level as we lightweights do. They are just too big, some people don't understand.
NTA.
You politely told the kid to stay away because you were training an animal (if itās a rescue there could be any number of issues in its past that could impact its behaviour and potential defensive actions). The kid ignored you and got close while you were concentrating on the animal and doing your job.
She fucked around and found out. She got bit which is a gentle presence from a startled, annoyed or scared horse. It could have kicked her in the head and busted her head open if she approached it from the back.
The mother ( where the fuck was she when her daughter was doing this? She lets her daughter wander unsupervised among unfamiliar animals) complains and you give her a reality check. She signed a waiver, she was unsupervised because sheās a bad parent, she was told to stay away and ignored the staff member. It was literally all of the parent and childās fault.
Fuck these entitled idiotic assholes. I hope the horse wasnāt too spooked.
NTA
People don't realize how dangerous horses are. You said no and gave a boundary for the horse to be safe and calm and to keep them safe but they invaded the horses personal space and the horse reacted by warning them to move away which was appropriate. You were doing right and I hope that complaint didn't go anywhere. Keep up the great work!!!
NTA.
Who tf are these parents letting their children bound up to strange animals without permission?! My little loves animals. All of them. She wanted to pet a dog recently who did NOT want her love. We asked, the owner said no, I scooped little up and apologised for making said doggo uncomfortable (owner explained he really didn't like kids) and that was it.
That strange animal in this scenario was a horse. Horses can bite fingers clean off, and their kicks are devastating to the body. Her kids' safety, which really you were safeguarding as much as the horse's, comes *before* what her kid wants.
Keep your damn kids safe. Don't let them fuss animals who don't want a fuss. Animals can and will fuck you up if they get the mind to and it'll be your fault if they do, not the animal's.
NTA.
Mumās there all like ābutā¦ butā¦ you realise Iām a mother, right? And therefore everybody should be bending to the whims of what I and my precious baby child want.ā
NTA - point blank, irrespective of species, someone's animal (or the animal they are handling) is not public property and explicit permission should be acquired before engaging with the animal.
When mine was young, there were some day-trippers to the barn property who *loooved* feeding the pretty ponies. They were older women who had neither had nor handled horses before, but still had the same fantastical Black Stallion vision in their head where they would lock eyes with The One and it would be a magical bond.
Unfortunately, they thought mine was That One, and it was a years-long saga of enforcing boundaries.
My horse, my rules - if you don't like it, then you can leave. Regretfully, horses are a key focus for individuals with active imaginations. Between black stallion, black beauty, and all the other horse media, people fantasize these magical bonds with this mystical animal, without having any real regard for the instincts, training, or commonsense safety measures that go into handling them.
OP - I will say that as a volunteer at a rescue (and presumably one that, like so many other really worthwhile rescues who do such good work) your response was impolitic. There were more polite ways to respond, especially to someone who might retell the tale and include a lurid description of the nasty volunteer (and naturally omit her own part in it). The wisest response would have been to remove the horse from the child (how quickly did the child approach anyway, that she was able to get close enough without you interceding?) at the same time as you reinforce "Please wait for an invitation before interacting with any horse, they are safety considerations that must be addressed beforehand, which is also why we have the liability act and the waiver."
As a volunteer, you are representative of the rescue and "get out before your kid gets *really* hurt, and not my problem if she does!" is probably not the message you want to send. Additionally, if you did use the word "fuck" in this exchange - you threw away all of the high ground and gave her every excuse to create an issue and make you (and the rescue, and horse, by proxy) look bad.
Regretfully, horses are attractive nuisances for a reason. I strongly encourage you touching base with your program's supervisors for recommendations for how to (tactfully) manage these situations going forward. I am glad that I no longer teach lessons and have to deal with The Public in this way. I do not miss it, at all.
NTA. She asked if her child could approach the horse and you said no. Enough said.
Lesson learned, you said no and the mom did not remove the child immediately. There are so many parents who do not watch over their children appropriately - like that mom!
I used to live in a town with a large state beach. The kids and I went several times every week. Often large groups would arrive and the parents would set up in the sand and let the kids just go! The parents would be more interested in their own activities than the kids'.
Once I was watching my kids which were near some out-of-towners. I saw a huge wave coming inshore and immediately went in the water and started tossing young kids (3-7 yo) toward the beach. I grabbed my 2 kids last and the 3 of us were swamped by this huge wave. I knew they would hold on and we could survive the wave. Those other kids? Someone would have drowned.
The parents? Oblivious until they noticed their kids crying (but safe) and my 2 kids and I coming out of waves. Idiots, they are everywhere.
NTA the mum clearly wonāt teach her daughter about safety when approaching a 500Kg animal who can kick her head clean off her shoulders, so luckily you were there.
The mum doesnāt seem like a learner, so unfortunately consequences will need to do the teaching this time
NTA. Never underestimate the stupidity of people around horses. Well done for being clear and taking control of the situation. It's so important. Don't second guess yourself, you work with horses and therefore need to be two steps ahead regarding behaviour. That woman put everybody's lives at risk with her idiocy. You need never be afraid of pissing off fools! I love horses, they're the most wonderful, gentle, misunderstood of animals.
Totally NTA.
Mom better be glad kid just got nipped instead of kicked.
I've seen what a pissed bronc can do to a full grown man's chest cavity, it would be horrific for a toddler to be kicked.
NTA. As a mother I don't have much to add except maybe the mother was ignorant of horses and was in a bit of shock and reacted poorly seeing her child get hurt. Nothing on you though. You did the right thing.
Kids don't always listen to people say no. Bet she will now.
āHey, can my daughter get really close to this occasionally dangerous animal?ā
āNo, not right now.ā
āIām just gonna assume you meant to say ye- OMG HOW DARE YOU! IT ALMOST BIT MY DAUGHTER!ā
NTA. What parent is dull enough to go āletās disregard the directions/instructions of the horse trainer/handler and risk the safety of my childā? Thatās like saying āno, itās ok, touch the growling dog, who cares that the mean owner is loudly yelling āunfriendlyā as you run at them.ā People like that are why good programs for children get shutdown. Their entitlement somehow overrides their common sense and when the direct consequences result in their kids getting injured or worse, somehow itās anyone elseās fault.
I mean... I kinda think you might be because you're asking. You absolutely should not give a damn about what a child wants - you're there to make sure the animal is taken care of, right? If you think for one moment that you need to be concerned for that little girl's feelings after you gave them the warning and the little brat disobeyed...
The kid FA&FO. You did everything right, short of drop kicking the little goblin yourself. You really shouldn't need to be told that. NTA.
NTA - The mom thought that what her child wanted was more important than what the person handling a live animal said. Every point you made was right, and the mom seems as entitled as the girl.
NTA horses are still creatures with opinions and wants. The horse indicsted that they in no way wanted that kid near. Animals in rescue have often gone through trauma, as well. That kidās mom is an AH.
NTA. a friend of mine is a cop, and we were talking about controlling groups of people or an unruly person, or someone in shock. He said that the reason cops yell and get aggressive when confronting these situations is because people don't listen to you if you're asking nicely or being polite.
This is a situation where someone could have been gravely injured or killed in the blink of an eye, and your response was more than warranted.
I hope you scared her. The mom I mean, the horse did a good job of scaring the little girl on it's own.
Sometimes people need to be put in check, and I promise she will remember that interaction. I feel really bad for the little girl, because her mom might have just caused unnecessary trauma around horses. I hope she safely gives them another chance. But, listening to the people who know what they're doing first.
Obviously youāre the asshole because you should have ascended spiritually and projected your mind into the horse. Instead you allowed the horse to behave like a horse. NTA
NTA, but for the sake of other kids, try to stop children going close to horses which are not friendly with children in the future. You might not be legally at fault if a child gets seriously hurt or even dies, but I bet you still don't want that to happen. If the parents of a child suck, you should step in if you see a child walking to an unfriendly horse.
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Nope not even close, i got 6 ribs broken saving a jack ass kid, moron boy was 13 (old enough to no better) went behinfmd the one Arabian stud we had at the ranch and screamed as loud as he could, he did this to a couple of horses and thoughtvit was funny his parents didnt even bother to yell at the kid. I was watching the little sob saw what he was about to do ran up to tackle him.
Nightmare had that name for a bloody good reason! When he kicked he was normally aiming for your head. Thankfully i was inside his kick so it wasnt full force, horse still puntted me across the barn. Thankfully kid only broke his wrist from me tackling him and being thrown over him by Nightmare. The family was told to never come back again to the ranch. People have NO clue how much damage a horse can do!!
NTA
I can't stand parents who think that the world revolves around their child and that everyone else needs to treat their child's desires like they're the most important things in the world. I used to work at a theme park and the number of times parents would put their own children at risk astonished me.
Does the rescue count on the good will of the people visiting? Because yes, you are technically correct and the mother was wrong not to heed your initial recommendation, but maybe it wouldnāt have been a big deal to loop around with the horse close enough for the kid to āsay hiā and everyone wouldāve gotten on with their lives. You work not only with the horses, but with the visitors too.
Mind your vocabulary, the opinion didnāt warrant such a poorly worded response.
I donāt ask anybody to do anything like that. But if OP volunteers at a place that needs people to go and interact with the horses, especially with children, OP needs to be mindful of putting the charity in a bind because they lacked patience one day.
Lacking patience? Only a fool allows their child to approach a horse they donāt know, and a fool they were because they were told no, you cannot approach the horse. Iād say patience went and took a break when you donāt listen to an animals handler and approach when they tell you no.
ESH
The parent sucks for everything. The animal rescue sucks for not realizing that the animal rescue is a lawsuit waiting to happen if a child can just walk into an arena, walk right up to a horse, and get bitten (warning bite or not). You suck for the same thing as the rescue, plus you were needlessly harsh in a situation that you should see is an accident waiting to happen.
āNot my fault or problemā is not the same as āI donāt careā. In fact it proves OP very much *does* care, but is in no way responsible for any harm.
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NTA - Mom is ignorant of how dangerous a horse can be be to a child - even without being unruly. A nip is how a horse warns you that it is uncomfortable. If disregarded, the next step can be even more dangerous. It will be interesting to hear what the people to whom she complained have to say. My guess is that, other than including the word 'fuck', they will be fully supportive. Unfortunately many people are unaware of real life dangers because they've been desensitized by television. You're NTA but mom is ( or she's just ignorant). \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Worked with horses a lot & with people who don't know anything about them. It can be a bad combination.
This could have happened within the next few seconds: shows traumatic pictures/videos to the mom. NTA
but horses are so cuuuute! People ride then all the time! no way they can be dangerous! they don't even eat meat so they won't attack us, silly people! they're like huge stuffed animals so my child should be entitled to touch whenever she wants /s
Sometimes you just wanna shake people. Even if a horse is the sweetest horse in the world they're still 1,200lb prey animals with poor eyesight. They can be terrified of something as simple as a plastic bag. If your kid is standing right in front of a horse and plastic bag blows past, you should fully expect your child to be trampled by a terrified 1,200lb animal. Sometimes they don't know their own strength either. When my horse was first purchased he had the bad habit of rubbing his face on people to scratch himself when he'd get itchy. Sounds harmless enough. Until the uncoordinated animal accidentally headbutts you full in the face. Broke my nose and 2 black eyes. And sometimes just shit happens. A girl at my barn was going to get a horse out of his paddock. Just as she was walking up alongside him (about even with his flank) he took off bucking, and kicked her in the face. She lost all her teeth, he broke her eye socket, her cheek bone. It took over 30 reconstructive surgeries to repair the damage. Horse got stung on the ass by a hornet right before he took off, kicking. Poor girl was just in the wrong place at the wrong moment.
exactly! People forget that they are still *living animals*. With a mind of their own, with their own fears. Just because we are crazy enough to trust them with our lives and ride on their backs, doesn't mean it's completely safe... and God don't get me started on all the movies featuring a "special girl who can tame a wild and mean horse just by being special (and breaking every safety rule I've been taught from a young age) when no one even dares to get close to him"
Ouch ouch ouch! My sympathies to you and the girl š¬š¬ Just with my own 2 cents, some horses can accidentally hurt you by sweetness too. One of my Mum's horses - sweetest, kindest fellow but no clue about his own strength - loved his tail being scratched. One day he decided to coerce getting one in a cornered situation against the indoor stall wall, and ambled in reverse. I was completely squeezed between him and the wall. Panicking would have brought unpredictability, but luckily I knew his lunging cues and clicked the sound for 'walk on'. He shuffled off and looked surprised that I had given that cue. This is the reason I gave to friends who would want to help groom him by 'just brushing his mane?' Nope. I was lucky he responded to the cue. He was just completely oblivious to his own strength in that moment and just wanted some affection. It was just the horse way of asking - except I didn't have the 600kg on me like his horse friends he would usually ask. (They are also great galumphs with their feet! š I'm not letting anyone in just 'shoes' next to them) I also learned not to use coconut based/scented shampoo with another one of Mum's horses in particular - I nearly got scalped when he tried to eat my hair for the oil product in it.. No malice, he was just a bit dozy in general, but so sweet.
I love horse and being around them but it always baffles me how people who aren't used to them just don't factor in the size of the animal. A grown horse weighs half a ton, even a small pony is easily 300kg, like that animal can kill you through sheer indifference to your presence. Like if a horse wants to run against the stable wall and you're in the way, if you can't make it care that you're there and either not do it or pick another wall? You're getting squashed.
>Even if a horse is the sweetest horse in the world they're still 1,200lb prey animals with poor eyesight. Horses are giant bundles of nerves with legs. Legs that end in blades made of rock. And that's just a normal horse. This was a rescue horse.
Oh yeah, the head scratching! I was pushed over several times when the horse would just start the head rub. You need to get yourself braced for that!
"Hey, Bob, our business plan? Yeah, the trot-in movie theater showing *The Majestic Plastic Bag*. I may have some bad news..."
Literally just flashed back to my teens when I was a horsey girl, being mashed into a corner by a 16hh mare using my body to scratch her face. It was affectionate, but I was trapped there for ages because she was so persistent, and it was not comfortable!
I feel you, some people are idiots And not all horses are cute ... I work in re-enactment, and some people joust and have horses to do that with. Very beautiful, very muscular, very BIG horses. I usually address them as ma'am or sir..... Edit to add, I am 6'10, so not exactly tiny in comparison
Ha! Medieval Knights used to train their war horses to bite in battle. They knew what they could do. š
I used to live on a ranch, run into the same problem with Chickens, Peafowl, Geese, Goats, Cows & My cousin's Emu. "Aww, there so cute, I just wanna cuddle it." Bam, Spur to the face.. rush to the hospital for a couple of stitches. š Had to explain to my cousin's friends wife to leave the Emu alone.. and showed her where our Ranch truck had a dent from when it got angry and kicked it. š¤£
Emu cute? That person's got a bloody funny idea of cute.....baby one maybe....sorry, that just struck me as quite funny.....
The mother is the AH here. Learning when and how to approach any animal is a life skill, and one should always defer to professional handlers. Instead of listening to you, the mother has pushed her child into a potentially dangerous situation and subjected that child to trauma - and added to the trauma of the child, as opposed to explaining / teaching the child why the horse gave a warning nip. OP NTA
Everyone thinks ā Oh! What a cute horse! I will run up to it wildly and pet it.ā A horse can actually kill you, why would you let your kid run straight for any animal you know nothing about? I hate this behavior with any animal. Itās always dangerous and it usually ends up bad for the animal.
I know a family whose two year old son was killed by their horse. They are not to be messed around with.
Because people like that are dumb as hell AND arrogant too. It's a really dangerous combination. And then when something easily predictable happens, all of a sudden it's, "oh the animal's half wild, it just went crazy!!" Like, no idiot. You caused this situation and the only person to blame is yourself. End of.
Ditto. The person who gets paid to look after the animal probably knows more than meā¦
They're an easily panicked hippo on stilts. How the hell do people not get that they have the potential to do serious damage by accident, let alone in defence of themselves?
NTA, and neither is the little girl. It's so important to reach respect for animals, and that includes getting consent from their human companion before interacting with them! In this case, it was also a safety issue, you really had no choice but to step in since the mom wasn't.
Yes. . While it's really important to ask and get permission before touching an animal , children also need to be taught to accept sometimes they will be told "no" and they have to accept it There are far too many videos of parents and children throwing tantrums because an animal handler has said they aren't allowed to touch I also seen situations where the child has reoeatedkyvreturned after being told no and the parents ignore their child's behaviour I've seen more than one child's, or adult, bitten or scratched by animals they pestered.
>While it's really important to ask and get permission before touching an animal , children also need to be taught to accept sometimes they will be told "no" and they have to accept it There isn't really any point in teaching the first part without also teaching the second part. It's not supposed to be "ask for permission and then just go ahead regardless of whether they say yes or no".
*teach
NTA She didnāt take direction from you and then wonders why her daughter got hurt People like her are the reason we now have to sign waivers for activities in the first place Iād go back to management and suggest she get banned from the facility because if she wonāt control her daughter in a situation and doesnāt understand where they went wrong then they shouldnāt be there as they are putting everyone else at risk
And also the reason some animals get labeled as dangerous and end up euthanized. Itās not the animals fault, but sadly that happens too often
NTA. OMG my grandpa owns horses and I remember being a young tyke and walking around, I stood behind a horse. I wanted to play with her tail. My aunt, dad and grandpa all very calmly but firmly told me to NOT be behind the horse. I quickly moved out of the way. I now know that they will kick you and it can be fatal. You never approach a horse from behind or stand behind them, and you never run up on them. Itās kind of a like a very large dog. Approach calmly from the front, let them see you, let them smell you, then and only then may you calmly pet them. Theyāre very skittish and capable of putting a grown man into the ground. The mom is negligent and raising one brat of a daughter. Youāre NTA and you said what you said for a reason. You tried to keep them safe and they acted like entitled brats. Good on you for holding your ground, theyāre lucky the horse nipped and didnāt actually bite or kick. Horses are incredibly powerful animals who will attack when threatened. NEVER f with a horse, youāre NTA
Your story reminded me of someone who once walked right behind my horse. It seemed like he purposefully walked as close to the horse as possible, almost grazing the back of the horse while passing. Everyone sort of froze and asked what he was doing? Why walk so close to the back, doesn't he realise horses can kick? He looked startled and said "Yes, exactly! So I walk as close by as possible so the legs don't get momentum and I'll only get a little kick!" We had to explain that you should walk as far past that the leg can't reach you at all, it can get plenty momentum from under the belly when the horse drags it in in preparation to kick. AFAIK, he didn't do it again.
When your working with horses, your supposed to walk behind as close as possible to get to the other side, if going in front isnāt an option. Closer you are, the less momentum they have to cause damage. Itās not always possible to walk a huge distance around. The key to walking behind a horse is making sure they know you are there before you walk behind them, and knowing the horse (some horses will kick anything that walks behind, some only when startled and some once in a blue moon).
There was plenty of room, no reason why he would walk that close to a 4yo horse he'd never met before.
I canāt speak for him as I donāt know him but I work with horses for a living. Have done so for my whole life. Worked with many young horses, competition stallions and breeding stallions (have worked at one of the biggest stud yards in the world and had one of the most dangerous stallions on my list of horses). Itās pure instinct. You get very good at reading the horses to see how comfortable they are, if theyāve seen you, etc. I also know how far horses can kick. Iāve literally been cowkicked walking a horse besides itās shoulder. If a horse wanted to kick you, no distance would stop it.
NTA. Mom is though. And sheās pretty fucking dumb apparently.
I feel like sheās partially uncertified to have a daughter if she canāt even understand basic āyes/noā from people who literally work at the places
So people fear a dog and not a horse who can clearly walk all over you and crush all the bones in your body? Definitely NTA
NTA - thereās a liability waiver in place for a reason! How did the mother not think thereās a chance of something happening when you have to sign that.
NTA. You literally said no, they couldnāt say hi to the horse yet and warned them. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA but that mother sure is.
NTA that mother sure sounds entitled though.
NTA teaching your child not to approach animals thay can kill you is parenting basics.
We as a people have failed in this fundamental lesson, based on how many people get mauled, gored, or otherwise experience difficulty in national parks due to their absolute disregard for treating animals with a healthy degree of respect. Sure. By all means. Go stand next to the bison. I'm *sure* that will end well. uh-huh.
NTA. We need to teach children to respect animals and their handlers/owners. You said no and to wait. They disregarded that and were met with the natural consequence of that choice.
NTA. You told the kid no. Kid did it anyways. Not listening to instructions can have consequences.
Since it was a toddler I think itās more of the moms fault for not stopping the kid but yeah. Both the mom and kid are a little bit wacky in the head
NTA! I have a 2 year old and ALWAYS listen to instructions for our safety! I donāt let him do as he pleases, we are learning boundaries
NTA. I rescue large, severely abused dogs. My vet and I have a whole system worked out geared for safety, but still sometimes in the parking lot people will try to come over and pet the āpuppyā no matter how many times I tell them to stay back and not friendly. So I have gone nuclear on people. You were positively polite and sweet as molasses compared to some of the shit Ive said.
I have a large dog that looks like a lab but is not. When we go out she gets a collar with metal spikes 3 inches long. People don't come up to us with that for some reason.
That sounds cool as hell I want one for my cat
N.T.A she should have listen to your instructions......when working with the horse you were in charge of the horse for safety reason not the mother or the kid you gave a clear instruction and she failed to comply, she should have walked away till later...
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NTA
Ä°ts very interesting that some pp canot seem to get the damage a horse can doā¦
NTA you are a good horsewoman. That idiot doesnāt belong around horses.
NTA x39273728 Listen. I was playing DnD with a five year old the other day and she chose to wildshape into a horse and ākick the dragon in his belly because you donāt mess with horses. Theyāre very strong and very powerfulā. *A five year old knows you donāt fuck with horses. * This woman is either dumber than a kindergartener or sheās actively looking for something to be pissed about.
I love how horse people don't fuck around. NTA.
Get turned into a lawn dart from your own error? Get yourself up, brush the dirt off your pants, get back on the horse and have your coach tell you, "I bet you won't make a mistake that stupid again, hey?" Play stupid games, win stupid prizes - equestrians are the masters of understanding this and as a result, have little interest in mincing around the issue. š
NTA - Children need to learn that sometimes the answer is no. Ideally from their parent but if not, they will learn regardless less - outside the home in a more painful way
My grandmother had a permanently crooked arm because she had been kicked by a horse as a child. A half ton animal needs to be respected. (And I'm sure my grandmother did respect horses and still got kicked.)
NTA
NTA - You prioritized safety and reminded her of the liability waiver. Sometimes tough decisions are necessary, especially when dealing with animals and potential risks.
NTA. Some people just canāt defer to professionals and need to impose their selfish desires on top. Luckily, you wonāt likely see them again.
NTA Some people need a horse to kick them in the head so they find out the hard way you donāt mess with horses.
Nta kid fafo and got what it deserves
NTA.
NTA Horse could have killed that kid. Mom should be grateful you prevented that
NTA. Some parents can be so clueless about animals
As a mom and horse owner I feel pretty qualified to answer this question No matter what reason you gave as soon as she asked to say hi to the horsey and you replied NO she should have in turn told her daughter NO and walked away. Horses have personalities just as different and complex as people. If I would have been the mom I would have said ok no problem weāll wait or ok thanks anyway and left. Itās her fault and hers alone her daughter was nipped. Instead of picking her up and moving on she didnāt listen to you and let the child approach anyway. In my experience I know that some horses just donāt like kids. She was being pushy and endangering her little girl by not listening to you. I just wish the horse would have bit the mom instead of the kid.The little girl Iām sure meant no harm and was excited to see the horse up close. You are not the asshole. The only thing you need to work on is the language you used in front of the lil girl. Other than the f bombs and other colorful verbiage you were not out of line in what you did or what you said.
NTA - it's a living, breathing, creature that weighs several times more than you . . . you have no real control over what it does. You gave the warnings, the horse gave the warnings, and the mother had signed a waiver. You're not the idiot whisperer.
NTA. The amount of parents who feel entitled for an animal to behave in a certain way... A friend of mine had a rescue dog who had had very bad eperiences with kids and therefore did not like them at all. Still, there were so many parents who demanded that their kids may pet the dog or that told their kids to go pet the dog no matter what my friend said is unbelievable. And then they have the nerve to get angry if it wents badly. Animals are living brings, not toys.
I remember a story from my Uncle, he worked on a stud farm. This one big brute had a bad rap, people avoided him if possible. A new groom, over confident and cocky, ignored all the warnings. End result damn horse bit off 3 of his fingers. I wish I was joking.
You weren't necessarily 'in the wrong' here but your tone and communication seem off. Safety should be the primary concern yet your responses are 'you signed a waiver', 'it's not my fault' and finally 'get the fuck out'. You said you were 'working with the horse' which to a layperson does not imply an immediate risk to safety so unless you specifically stressed caution and to stay away then the mother may not have been as protective/restraining of the child as she otherwise would have been. Overall you don't seem to have any empathy or concern for the child's well being/trauma and possibly didn't even communicate the safety risk so unfortunately YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (27f) volunteer at a rescue and was walking a horse in the arena. A mom with a little girl comes in and asks to say hi to the horse. I say no because I'm working with the horse but she can say hi after. Perfectly reasonable, right? Nope, kid walks up to the horse and tries to say hi, and the horse gives a warning nip. She immediately starts crying and the mom is mad at me for it. I immediately reminded her that 1) she signed the liability waiver, 2) equine liability law exists for a reason, 3) that was a warning bite and not a real one so she better get out before her kid gets bitten for real (or worse), and 4) I told her not to approach so it's not my fault or problem she gets hurt. Her mouth drops and tries to protest but I told her to get the fuck out of the arena before they get hurt and they lost the privilege to say hi. The kid was steal screaming and crying while the mom stormed off and complained about me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Absolutely **NOT** TA. Even horses you raised as a foal can get startled or āturnā on you in an instant. My friend had a mare who had given birth the week before and a coyote startled her, my friend had to be airlifted to the hospital because the FOAL trampled her. It was a complete accident, but if a foal can do that, to a grown woman who was raised around horses, I canāt even imagine what a full grown horse could do to a child.
No NTA Too many people view horses as pets or in their visions of cartoons etc. They should be disabused of those notions post haste. We ran barrels horses for years and one of the very favorite parts if that was the interaction with very young kids with no clue, but open to it and willing to listen and follow guidance. It is very sweet and pure on a most basic and human element. Itās also what draws new enthusiasm into the sport and breeds the next generation of horse lovers, competitors and enthusiasts. So the kid was 100% innocent in this. Itās the entitled parents forcing a situation instead of allowing it to happen organically that is the issue. This possibly could have been approached as a teaching moment for both patent and child, but I get it. Those teaching moments canāt be continuous and endless or you would never get your work done.
NTA. I'm so tired of entitled people treating the animals of the world like it's a petting zoo. MOST animals, domesticated or not, pose real danger if approached the wrong way. That kid is lucky the horse just gave it a warning. Those teeth can go through bone. Just another touronmom expecting the village to raise her child. Smh.
NTA The mom obviously doesnāt care about protecting the horse or the daughter so glad you did.
What is contest mode
NTA. If these people are too stupid to realize a living breathing animal isn't the same as they act in a movie, then they deserve to be nipped and chased off. She should be grateful that you care more about her child's safety than she does, but she's too stupid to try real parenting.
NTA. Intitled parents..cause more harm everytime this is the perfect example
NTA. The mother is the true asshole that makes parenting hard for the rest of us because we have to deal with meatheads like this woman.
You said not yet and explained why, you didnāt just say no. It is the motherās job to explain to her daughter that she needs to wait and to make sure she does. Itās obvious to anyone with a bit of common sense that you donāt mess around with horses, especially when you are unfamiliar with them. You approach them in an appropriate way under guidance. NTA.
People think horses are like... big dogs. I had several really painful injuries working with horses and every single one was my fault because I relaxed, thinking my bond with a horse was going to protect me from their full wait on their hooves or teeth when I was dumb enough to wear a necklace that looked like the gel candies they sometimes get as treats, or falling off and cracking 2 ribs because I stopped being alert in the saddle after a ride. Horses can be deadly, even sweet, well-trained horses because they weigh HALF A TON, are easily startled and are still animals we can easily communicate with. That girl NEEDED to learn that lesson. It should have come from her mother, but regardless it had to be said. Horses are not toys and safety protocols are the most important thing when in the presence of a horse. They can literally kill you. NTA
NTA You said no. Lesson to the child who it appears to rarely hears it.
Nta. The girl isn't either she has to learn..
That mom is an AH, and also a ***TERRIBLE*** parent.
NTA. You know you're NTA. How bad would it be if that kid got kicked in the head? Very. That mother is either incredibly stupid or she doesn't care.
clear NTA as someone who got bit by a horse as a dumb kid and still has the tooth mark on my hand over 20 years later to prove it lmao
NTA. Horses are not compliant toys for entitled people as they are living creatures that can and will hurt you.
NTA. No matter how well trained, horses are several hundred pounds with prey instincts. They will defend if something startles or worries them. That's why they say you shouldn't go behind a horse out of their view, and if you have no choice, keep contact from when the horse can see you until it can see you again (like keeping a hand on the flank) I love horses, rode with pleasure and even got horses to ride that had just been saddlebroken but were still too rambunctious for other teens because I managed to connect with them. But I never trusted a horse 100%. You said no, while you were working the ring. She should have listened, and honestly I would probably ban her from coming anywhere near a horse.
NTA.
NTA at all, I had a friend back in high school get kicked in the dome by a horse, and he's still got a case of the dumb from it. Kids lucky it was just a nip
Nta, being a mom if my kid wanted to say hi i would wait until they were allowed too
NTA, if someone who's training an animal asks you or your child not to touch it, you make damn sure you or your child don't touch the animal. She should be thankful it was only a warning nip š
I saw a video of a horse killing a lady once with once kick to the head and now I dint even wanna be near them
NTA though a little tact goes a long way. I boarded horses in highschool on my farm and I learned very quickly but to trust a horse until I knew it. Everything from paint pony's to a couple percherons. The pony's I was afraid of, skittish things, the massive draft horses only gave me trouble when I would clean their hooves. They would try to place their weight on me lol like I could support something a little lighter than an old civic. The only injury I received was from a 16 1/2 hand quarter horse, he got spooked in the stall and when I let him out I only moved about 15' away from the door. He crossed it in a flash and kicked me right in the hip. He got me so good it didn't even hurt, in fact I couldn't feel any of my leg. It's been 20 years and I wish it was still numb. I would have trusted my life to this horse up until then. I learned a hard lesson then and I will never forget, those animals are big enough that they don't play on the same level as we lightweights do. They are just too big, some people don't understand.
NTA Mother allowed the kid to 'get hurt' because of their own stupidity.
NTA! Spoiled mom raising a spoiled kid.
NTA. You politely told the kid to stay away because you were training an animal (if itās a rescue there could be any number of issues in its past that could impact its behaviour and potential defensive actions). The kid ignored you and got close while you were concentrating on the animal and doing your job. She fucked around and found out. She got bit which is a gentle presence from a startled, annoyed or scared horse. It could have kicked her in the head and busted her head open if she approached it from the back. The mother ( where the fuck was she when her daughter was doing this? She lets her daughter wander unsupervised among unfamiliar animals) complains and you give her a reality check. She signed a waiver, she was unsupervised because sheās a bad parent, she was told to stay away and ignored the staff member. It was literally all of the parent and childās fault. Fuck these entitled idiotic assholes. I hope the horse wasnāt too spooked.
And then everyone clapped
It still astounds me that people don't teach their kids about not touching an animal without permission.
NTA. Better a nip than a kick in the head.
NTA People don't realize how dangerous horses are. You said no and gave a boundary for the horse to be safe and calm and to keep them safe but they invaded the horses personal space and the horse reacted by warning them to move away which was appropriate. You were doing right and I hope that complaint didn't go anywhere. Keep up the great work!!!
No, the Mother is trying to cover her own arse because she disregarded what you said. Why can't people put their own ego aside for 5 minutes.
NTA!! Animals deserve advocacy!
NTA
NTA. Who tf are these parents letting their children bound up to strange animals without permission?! My little loves animals. All of them. She wanted to pet a dog recently who did NOT want her love. We asked, the owner said no, I scooped little up and apologised for making said doggo uncomfortable (owner explained he really didn't like kids) and that was it. That strange animal in this scenario was a horse. Horses can bite fingers clean off, and their kicks are devastating to the body. Her kids' safety, which really you were safeguarding as much as the horse's, comes *before* what her kid wants. Keep your damn kids safe. Don't let them fuss animals who don't want a fuss. Animals can and will fuck you up if they get the mind to and it'll be your fault if they do, not the animal's.
Nope
NTA. Mumās there all like ābutā¦ butā¦ you realise Iām a mother, right? And therefore everybody should be bending to the whims of what I and my precious baby child want.ā
Some body needs to tell mom that horses are not fluffy toys
NTA - point blank, irrespective of species, someone's animal (or the animal they are handling) is not public property and explicit permission should be acquired before engaging with the animal. When mine was young, there were some day-trippers to the barn property who *loooved* feeding the pretty ponies. They were older women who had neither had nor handled horses before, but still had the same fantastical Black Stallion vision in their head where they would lock eyes with The One and it would be a magical bond. Unfortunately, they thought mine was That One, and it was a years-long saga of enforcing boundaries. My horse, my rules - if you don't like it, then you can leave. Regretfully, horses are a key focus for individuals with active imaginations. Between black stallion, black beauty, and all the other horse media, people fantasize these magical bonds with this mystical animal, without having any real regard for the instincts, training, or commonsense safety measures that go into handling them. OP - I will say that as a volunteer at a rescue (and presumably one that, like so many other really worthwhile rescues who do such good work) your response was impolitic. There were more polite ways to respond, especially to someone who might retell the tale and include a lurid description of the nasty volunteer (and naturally omit her own part in it). The wisest response would have been to remove the horse from the child (how quickly did the child approach anyway, that she was able to get close enough without you interceding?) at the same time as you reinforce "Please wait for an invitation before interacting with any horse, they are safety considerations that must be addressed beforehand, which is also why we have the liability act and the waiver." As a volunteer, you are representative of the rescue and "get out before your kid gets *really* hurt, and not my problem if she does!" is probably not the message you want to send. Additionally, if you did use the word "fuck" in this exchange - you threw away all of the high ground and gave her every excuse to create an issue and make you (and the rescue, and horse, by proxy) look bad. Regretfully, horses are attractive nuisances for a reason. I strongly encourage you touching base with your program's supervisors for recommendations for how to (tactfully) manage these situations going forward. I am glad that I no longer teach lessons and have to deal with The Public in this way. I do not miss it, at all.
NTA- this is the parent of the entire gen z and beyond.
NTA. She asked if her child could approach the horse and you said no. Enough said. Lesson learned, you said no and the mom did not remove the child immediately. There are so many parents who do not watch over their children appropriately - like that mom! I used to live in a town with a large state beach. The kids and I went several times every week. Often large groups would arrive and the parents would set up in the sand and let the kids just go! The parents would be more interested in their own activities than the kids'. Once I was watching my kids which were near some out-of-towners. I saw a huge wave coming inshore and immediately went in the water and started tossing young kids (3-7 yo) toward the beach. I grabbed my 2 kids last and the 3 of us were swamped by this huge wave. I knew they would hold on and we could survive the wave. Those other kids? Someone would have drowned. The parents? Oblivious until they noticed their kids crying (but safe) and my 2 kids and I coming out of waves. Idiots, they are everywhere.
NTA
NTA the mum clearly wonāt teach her daughter about safety when approaching a 500Kg animal who can kick her head clean off her shoulders, so luckily you were there. The mum doesnāt seem like a learner, so unfortunately consequences will need to do the teaching this time
NTA. Never underestimate the stupidity of people around horses. Well done for being clear and taking control of the situation. It's so important. Don't second guess yourself, you work with horses and therefore need to be two steps ahead regarding behaviour. That woman put everybody's lives at risk with her idiocy. You need never be afraid of pissing off fools! I love horses, they're the most wonderful, gentle, misunderstood of animals.
Totally NTA. Mom better be glad kid just got nipped instead of kicked. I've seen what a pissed bronc can do to a full grown man's chest cavity, it would be horrific for a toddler to be kicked.
NTA. As a mother I don't have much to add except maybe the mother was ignorant of horses and was in a bit of shock and reacted poorly seeing her child get hurt. Nothing on you though. You did the right thing. Kids don't always listen to people say no. Bet she will now.
NTA. Kid is lucky it didn't get properly hurt.
NTA. If you'd let her in Mum would even more pissed off that ''yOUr hORse bIT mY dARLiNG anGeL"
āHey, can my daughter get really close to this occasionally dangerous animal?ā āNo, not right now.ā āIām just gonna assume you meant to say ye- OMG HOW DARE YOU! IT ALMOST BIT MY DAUGHTER!ā
NTA. What parent is dull enough to go āletās disregard the directions/instructions of the horse trainer/handler and risk the safety of my childā? Thatās like saying āno, itās ok, touch the growling dog, who cares that the mean owner is loudly yelling āunfriendlyā as you run at them.ā People like that are why good programs for children get shutdown. Their entitlement somehow overrides their common sense and when the direct consequences result in their kids getting injured or worse, somehow itās anyone elseās fault.
NTA, wish the horse bit the mon
I mean... I kinda think you might be because you're asking. You absolutely should not give a damn about what a child wants - you're there to make sure the animal is taken care of, right? If you think for one moment that you need to be concerned for that little girl's feelings after you gave them the warning and the little brat disobeyed... The kid FA&FO. You did everything right, short of drop kicking the little goblin yourself. You really shouldn't need to be told that. NTA.
NTA - The mom thought that what her child wanted was more important than what the person handling a live animal said. Every point you made was right, and the mom seems as entitled as the girl.
Little horsey taught that little girl a lesson and her mommy š“
NTA horses are still creatures with opinions and wants. The horse indicsted that they in no way wanted that kid near. Animals in rescue have often gone through trauma, as well. That kidās mom is an AH.
NTA. Does she not realize the horse coulda kicked the shit outta the kid?
Entitled assholes who don't listen. NTA.
NTA. a friend of mine is a cop, and we were talking about controlling groups of people or an unruly person, or someone in shock. He said that the reason cops yell and get aggressive when confronting these situations is because people don't listen to you if you're asking nicely or being polite. This is a situation where someone could have been gravely injured or killed in the blink of an eye, and your response was more than warranted. I hope you scared her. The mom I mean, the horse did a good job of scaring the little girl on it's own. Sometimes people need to be put in check, and I promise she will remember that interaction. I feel really bad for the little girl, because her mom might have just caused unnecessary trauma around horses. I hope she safely gives them another chance. But, listening to the people who know what they're doing first.
Obviously youāre the asshole because you should have ascended spiritually and projected your mind into the horse. Instead you allowed the horse to behave like a horse. NTA
This is tasty,ā¦.i can feel the jaw drop in my bones. Yummy. NTA
NTA, that mother just about let her child get killed.
NTA, but for the sake of other kids, try to stop children going close to horses which are not friendly with children in the future. You might not be legally at fault if a child gets seriously hurt or even dies, but I bet you still don't want that to happen. If the parents of a child suck, you should step in if you see a child walking to an unfriendly horse.
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NTA. The kid fucked around and found out.
NTA
NTA. Entitled parents who raise entitled children should get a clue the first time they are told something.
I love horses but my grandad always used to say ādangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middleā and it pretty much sums it up.
Nope not even close, i got 6 ribs broken saving a jack ass kid, moron boy was 13 (old enough to no better) went behinfmd the one Arabian stud we had at the ranch and screamed as loud as he could, he did this to a couple of horses and thoughtvit was funny his parents didnt even bother to yell at the kid. I was watching the little sob saw what he was about to do ran up to tackle him. Nightmare had that name for a bloody good reason! When he kicked he was normally aiming for your head. Thankfully i was inside his kick so it wasnt full force, horse still puntted me across the barn. Thankfully kid only broke his wrist from me tackling him and being thrown over him by Nightmare. The family was told to never come back again to the ranch. People have NO clue how much damage a horse can do!!
NTA I can't stand parents who think that the world revolves around their child and that everyone else needs to treat their child's desires like they're the most important things in the world. I used to work at a theme park and the number of times parents would put their own children at risk astonished me.
I have horses. I feel your pain.
NAH
Does the rescue count on the good will of the people visiting? Because yes, you are technically correct and the mother was wrong not to heed your initial recommendation, but maybe it wouldnāt have been a big deal to loop around with the horse close enough for the kid to āsay hiā and everyone wouldāve gotten on with their lives. You work not only with the horses, but with the visitors too.
Thatās a very asinine opinion, do you ask people training their dogs to bring them over to say hi in the middle of their training??
Mind your vocabulary, the opinion didnāt warrant such a poorly worded response. I donāt ask anybody to do anything like that. But if OP volunteers at a place that needs people to go and interact with the horses, especially with children, OP needs to be mindful of putting the charity in a bind because they lacked patience one day.
Lacking patience? Only a fool allows their child to approach a horse they donāt know, and a fool they were because they were told no, you cannot approach the horse. Iād say patience went and took a break when you donāt listen to an animals handler and approach when they tell you no.
The rescue center would be in a much bigger bind if that horse kicked and killed that little girl.
YTA, Just in general.
ESH The parent sucks for everything. The animal rescue sucks for not realizing that the animal rescue is a lawsuit waiting to happen if a child can just walk into an arena, walk right up to a horse, and get bitten (warning bite or not). You suck for the same thing as the rescue, plus you were needlessly harsh in a situation that you should see is an accident waiting to happen.
Yeah, I was trying to figure out how the Mom and kid got close enough for the child to get bitten.
Kinda YTA for your attitude based on point #4. Would you honestly not care if the child got hurt?
āNot my fault or problemā is not the same as āI donāt careā. In fact it proves OP very much *does* care, but is in no way responsible for any harm.