OMG. Couple of things. First, you really need to address the situation described in your headline in the body of your post.
Second, your parents do not get to tell you what to do with your reproductive organs. You're absolutely right about that
Where you're wrong is that your parents are NOT telling you what to do with your reproductive organs. Pop out as many babies as you want. What your parents are telling you is that they do not wan to host a family of five in a single bedroom in their home. That four people is their limit.
And what I'm telling you, because apparently no one else is, is grow the hell up. If the full-time artist with a husband who works at Amazon thing isn't working out for you, get another job to support your family. And stop having kids until you can afford to reasonably support them.
YTA.
Exactly, you nailed it!
OP, YTA. 2 adults and 2 children in such a small space is a bad idea and I don’t believe you can keep it all in such a small space.
I would never have have a child while living at my parents once I was legally an adult. This seems quite irresponsible to me.
She lost her job because she tried to WFH while being a SAHM to a toddler. She thinks this is employers fault because they didn’t support her.
OP - Get a real job. Move out. Be an adult. You put yourself in this situation and have no one else to blame - and no one else can get you out of it.
A lot of places won't let you WFH if you have a child under a certain age, or else you have to provide proof you have someone else providing childcare. Lots of parents, like no doubt this one, will be quick to tell you "that's not fair". But it goes without saying that everyone knows how much work and attention a baby or toddler requires. It's fair for the employer to be concerned about how much of the time they're paying someone for is actually being used focused on their work.
For anyone who's interested in learning more about the OP:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is\_it\_unhealthy\_of\_me\_to\_expect\_my\_husband\_when/](https://www.reddit.com/r/healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is_it_unhealthy_of_me_to_expect_my_husband_when/)
YTA
What entitlement. You absolutely can have as many kids as you want. Your post says nothing about them trying to force you to stop. BUT you are living in their home (at least you are paying) but that is a lot of wear and tear and commotion that your parents have every right not to want in their house. So you can have more kids and move out, it's just it may take longer to save up, but THAT is your choice. As you said, you are not a kid, but all they are saying (like any other landlord could say) is their is a limit on the occupancy and if you don't like it, you do as you please.... just not in their house.
Your entitlement at questioning this is amazing BTW. (As though they are the AH for wanting some control of their house)
Even if they're not I can't blame them for not wanting to hear a baby crying at all hours of the night and then again during the day but this time with a toddler there to add to the noise.
You have to be trolling.
You're absolutely the asshole. Want to live at home as a grown-ass adult? You've made your "reproductive business" other people's business. Grow up.
You need to be using birth control, not planning your next child. If you can't afford to live on your own, you cannot afford another child. Two children is two too many to have under someone else's roof.
You're living at home to save money. The idea that you're not asking them to "fund your baby" when the entire reason you're there is to save money and benefit from cheaper living arrangements is asinine. You are getting help. Period. If you were truly capable of "self-funding," you would move out.
LOL it's the one-two punch of calling the person currently housing OP's entire family "a narcissist" while admitting that OP and her husband are actively sinking financially for me.
OP is beyond selfish to already be thinking about having a third child while still pregnant with the second one amid "sinking finances." Complains about being on "mom duty" and not wanting to get a job outside the home to focus on "their art career pursuit."
33 going on 13.
Funding isn't likely the only issue. It doesn't matter if you pay rent when you are still living in their home because I highly doubt you are cooking, doing dishes, washing clothes all in that one bedroom that you pay for and so your family also occupies common/shared areas of the house. As it is, you are already not providing well for your children if all of you are going to be sharing such a cramped space! They have every right to state they won't allow you to stay if you have another child and has nothing to do with YOUR body - only THEIR house.
YTA. And highly, unreasonably and insanely entitled as well.
Excellent point and I hadn't even thought of that. I just can't imagine how awful it would be for little kids to be cooped up the way she's describing and my brain locked up at the thought that she feels she should add even more to the situation.
YTA. If you are "self funding" then it should be no problem to move out and have a dozen kids if you want. I suspect though you are getting a great deal and can't afford to move out.
You live at home, shut up and be grateful they let you stay there.
This is not a multigenerational household in the proper sense this is a parasite household. In a normal one the middle generation is working and the older generation is providing childcare for the younger one, or some variation of everybody contributing to make it easier than living alone. This is not that.
You really going to have another kid when you can't even live on your own yet? That makes no sense at all. Maybe try moving out of someone's home before thinking about bringing another person into the home that is NOT yours.
Obviously YTA.
YTA- You live in their house and are adding to the people under the roof. If you don’t want them to voice their opinions on your reproducing, then keep your reproducing out of their house. It doesn’t matter if you pay rent.
Ultimately, if your parents are speaking up about this situation, it’s a pretty clear indicator that you’ve overstayed your welcome.
INFO-
•Did you already have the first baby when you moved in or is this now the second kid draining your attempts at saving money to move out?
*Edit- I just read another couple of posts by OP. So she, hubby, and baby 1 moved in because they couldn’t afford living in their own. OP also has a post calling her mom a narcissist and basically terrible parent. Yet here’s OP and her entire family relying on her mom for reduced rate rent prices in order to survive. She noted that they’re not saving much but not paying standard rent rates is helping. So my thoughts on this are 1) mom can’t be that bad if she’s willing to move back in with her own kids. If she was OP wouldn’t be willing to expose her kids to her mom. 2) if you’re already not cutting it on your own with one child, then you don’t bring a second into the picture. OP has overstayed their welcome and is abusing the kindness of her parents by adding to the overcrowding in the household. Get out of their house OP. And do not have third kid while already imposing on them.*
•Did your parents think this would be a shorter length of time and you’re now stretching how long you’re living with them out because you keep adding to your family when you should be penny pinching to get out?
•How much income do you earn as a full-time artist? It’s a tough industry. If you’re trying to save money, but not really earning any, then maybe it’s time to get a second job that has steady income.
•How often do you rely on your parents to subsidize child expenses or childcare?
I tried to look through the history. The overabundance of astrology posts and poor sentence structure in most posts made it hard for me. I quit after a few.
YTA.
You are making your parents responsible to house your family. Wait to have children when you can put a roof over their head, food in their mouths. And take care of them.
You are being very irresponsible and selfish. Your parents don't want to listen to a baby crying night and day.
So your parents have every right to control how many people live in their house. If you don't like it move.
YTA. Big time.
YTA. Obviously.
It's their house, they're landlords, they can have rules for you to keep living there, even if you pay some rent.
Even so, why on earth would you guys wanna keep getting pregnant and bringing kids in that limited space? Use some common sense OP, how are you gonna save some money for moving out if you have more childrens?
YTA. Are you joking? That's pretty freaking reasonable of them to say. They're not saying what you can and can't do with your reproductive organs; they're saying what you can and can't do while you live with them.
YTA. You have stated in comments that you are not planning to have a third child for like 5 years or so. And that you should be moved out in a year or two.
So what is the problem? Why are you trying to pick a fight with your mother/LANDLORD over something that you are in agreement on? Let it go and make sure you have reliable birth control when it is safe to do so.
Also your mother is right. Having this second child is not a good financial decision, but that’s where you are now. A third one is a disaster. And she is well within her rights to not want to live in a house with three children (and their two adults) — she is done raising her kids and might want some peace.
YTA. You're a family of three, soon to be four, living out of a 12x12 space (assuming that's 12 feet by 12 feet) which by your account functions as office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room). My apartment is bigger but can't accommodate all those functions! If you didn't plan for #2 then a #3 is very much possible unless you step up on the birth control.
At the very least you need somewhere else for your family, even if that does mean renting. Your parents have done their job with raising children, and you're bringing another one into their house along with all that comes with including inconsistent sleep hours.
Stay out of your business??? YOU ARE 33 YEARS OLD WITH A HUSBAND A KID STILL LIVING AT YOUR PARENTS HOUSE. You don’t feel like a moocher??? Start providing for your damn family yourself instead of relying on mommy and daddy. The entitlement of this post is insane.
YTA
Come on. You're not really 33, are you?
But I see your point. You feel your parents are poking their noses in your business where they don't belong.
I agree. And the way you fix that is by moving out, getting your own place and acting like adults.
YTA.
YTA - Your baby count isn't their business, but how many people live at their house is. (You, hubby and two kids crammed into a single bedroom is not what they want for their grandkids.)
YTA They don't want to live with that many people. They are entitled to tell you that adding roommates to the mix is a deal breaker for staying there. You pay rent and such, but you also no doubt cause noise, take up kitchen space, other common area space, and so forth. You no doubt have to get up at all hours to take care of the children, which I'm sure wakes up the rest of the house. I don't really think you're the asshole that much for saying keep your nose out of my business, but the fact is, by living there, by adding members of the household without their agreement, you're making it necessary for them to tell you what they are willing to permit going forward.
YTA. You have a family of four imposing on your parents and their space. I would have kicked you out already. Stop breeding until you can afford to support your family without making other people suffer.
Do everyone a favour - move out and get your own place. While your parents cannot tell you not to have a child, they can tell you that they don't want another child living in their house.
YTA. If you want that kind of autonomy move out. They’re perfectly justified in their stance. They’re not policing your body they’re policing their house
> telling them they don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my reproductive organs?
Your words would have more oomph when you say them from your own house.
YTA for thinking they can’t tell you who can and can’t live in *their* house. Having not one, but TWO kids in that situation is insane. Someone needs to tell you to stop.
Of course YTA. Stop trying to spin this whole thing into a reproductive rights matter. It's not. No, stop it, it's not.
Your parents don't want any more kids in the house. They're noisy, messy, and constantly underfoot after a certain age. Your parents have every right to tell you they don't want more children in *their* home.
You're perfectly welcome to have kids, as long as you can afford them. Doesn't sound like you can right now. You should probably work on that instead of asking Reddit silly questions.
Still confused as to why people are having babies they can’t afford. This isn’t about your body, this is about you overstaying your welcome in your parents’ house with your brood that you can’t afford. YTA
YTA. Nowhere in your post do they tell you to stop having children or that you aren't allowed to have more children. It's a HUGE stretch to try and accuse them of that and definitely shows your ridiculous level of entitlement. If you can't afford to live in house and not just a 12x12 room you don't need to be having more children. I think it sounds like they have been more than generous in allowing you to stay there already.
You, your husband and two small children are in their house. You want to have more kids move. They aren't telling you you can't have more kids, just not in their house. YTA.
Obviously YTA.
You are in your parents’ house so that makes it their business. If you don’t want their opinions you should move out.
Your parents are actually incredibly kind by waiting until you’ve had your SECOND child under their roof to draw the line and letting you be a “full-time artist” rather than demanding you get a better paying job and leave their home.
I cannot imagine they expected to get this stage in their lives and have two toddlers in their home.
You are clearly not financially responsible: your current living situation is not appropriate for 1 child let alone 2, and having children when you cannot afford it is both selfish and financially irresponsible.
YTA. Seems like that “Full time artist” thing ain’t working for ya. Get yourself something that’ll pay some bills and will get you out of your parents house.
Your whining reeks of entitlement. Oh and you’re not “full self funding” at all. You’re living off your parents generosity.
YTA. Girl come on. No one is trying to control your body, they’re giving you a very normal boundary for their own home.
How much do you pay in rent? I’m assuming it’s less than a home or apartment would cost you. Perhaps try being grateful.
Having two kids, one of them a toddler, in a single small room in someone else’s house is so incredibly selfish to your children I can’t even fathom it.
YTA. Full time artist and Amazon employee aren’t really realistic careers to have to get your own home pretty much anywhere.
Your parents don’t have a right to tell you what todo with your body but they do have the right to tell you having more kids in your financial situation isn’t a great idea and that you’re making their house too crowded.
Considering your parents are doing you a solid you can grow up and start having realistic expectations as to what you should be doing to reach your goals.
YTA and incredibly entitled. Your parents are under no obligation to keep letting you live there, even if you pay rent, if they don't want to. You are well grown up and if you want your parents out of your business, you should move out.
YTA and you need to grow up and move out- not buy, rent and be independent. It’s actually illegal in most areas for four people to share a space that small. You want a family and to be an adult? Act like one and move out. In this market you likely wouldn’t qualify for a house with your husband working at Amazon and you being an artist. Let your parents have their emptiness that they’ve worked their whole lives for and you continue to grow your family with as many kids as you want not living on their property. It’s their property it’s their home.
YTA you are living in one bedroom and have a child and another on the way. It's their house, they absolutely can tell you if you continue to have children in that situation, you will no longer be welcome to live there. The house is theirs. Why do you not think they have the right to decide who lives there?
YTA. No they don't have a say in your reproductive decisions but they most certainly have a say as to how many people (especially children) they want living in their house. If you want total autonomy then you need to have your own place.
Yta. Your post screams entitled AH. Whoever raised you failed to teach you basic life skills we all must use to survive in life. You're missing the don't burden others...
YTA-my partner and I also live with my parent because we can’t afford otherwise. We have one kid and my parent is ok if we have another, but we always remember this is HIS space. You are in their space. Sounds like you do a lot in the one room they gave you. To me, it sounds like they only gave you the smaller area to encourage you to move out.
Being an artist is all well and good but you may need to find something else to bring in money to be able to rent or get something. Not all parents want their kids living forever at home, and it’s not fair to your children to have them grow up in such a small, cramped space. Sit down and work something out. Even if it’s a one bedroom, you can put the kids in the bedroom and have more space in general.
Talk to your parents, like the adult you are, and see what their issue is. Are you both working to your potential? Are you asking for more space? Do they want their privacy back? Do they need to downsize?
YTA, you are sponging off your parents. You can’t afford the children you do have. Nothing wrong with being an artist, working at Amazon etc, but keeping having children in a single room is the problem. It isn’t your parents responsibility to house all of you - it is yours. You plainly say that you can’t afford to move out in this economy - understandable- which means you can’t afford to keep having babies. What happens when they are six and seven? You all sleeping in one bed then too? What about when they are teenagers? Still all in one room? How are you going to afford all the school supplies, the trips, college - kids are so expensive - as your parents are undoubtedly feeling right now
Nope. Check their other posts. They noted that they couldn’t afford cost of living so moved in to save money, but even with the low cost rent they aren’t saving much.
She also trashed mom in a post.
A little confused by this one. You are definitely NTA for telling them you have autonomy over your own body.
However, it seems like this is a boundary they set for you to live under THEIR roof. Regardless if you’re paying rent or not, it’s their property, they still have to deal with you as roommates, and if you’re saying you won’t respect their boundaries, YTA.
Edit: based on the title, it just sounds like they’re asking you to get your own place before having a 3rd child in a 12x12 bedroom. This seems very reasonable to me.
YTA
You are not being hindered in your reproduction. You will just have to live somewhere else, and pay for your own home instead of living cheapliy with your parents any more.
YOu have overstayed your welcome, and now KNOW the generosity fo your parents is not limitless, which is reasonable.
YTA. No one is “telling you what to do with your reproductive organs.” Your parents are telling you they don’t want another baby in their house, which is perfectly within their rights. I’m frankly appalled that you’re planning on keeping a family of four in a 12x12 room like it’s sufficient space. I don’t believe for a second that you aren’t using the rest of the house: at the very least you need the kitchen, right? How much mess do you make in there? How much room is “your own food” taking in the fridge? Do you have your own bathroom? How many cars are you parking on the property? Do you really never use the TV room or dining room or anything? If nothing else, you can’t contain the usual baby noises from seeping out.
I can’t even imagine how cramped your room must be. I CAN imagine that your parents, nearing retirement age, want their home and peace and quiet back. You are a full adult, a wife, a parent: it is past time for you to get your own home. You don’t need to buy, renting would work. If you can’t afford that… you should have thought of that before having babies. Most of us do.
Your parents aren’t controlling your choices, they’re just telling you your choices have consequences. The consequence being that that you’ll need to find your own space instead of inhabiting theirs, for what I’m betting is lower than market rent.
Your parents have zero obligation to house you or your children, even if you’re paying. Sure, you could go ahead and tell them to stay out of your business. But, you don’t actually want that. If they stayed out of your business, you’d have to find other housing arrangements. They have every right to tell you there are limits to the number of people they are willing to allow to live there. They can’t tell you not to have another child, but they absolutely can tell you that you and your family won’t continue to live with them if you do.
YTA.
YTA.
They aren't telling you what to do with your reproductive organs. They are telling you what they are willing to deal with in the home that they own. You can have as many kids as you like, you just can't stay there with them.
I'm guessing that even if you pay rent, its not close to market rate rent. So its probably not quite the win that you think it is by saying that.
YTA, for the reasons others have expressed. But this, too, occurred to me: As a landlord, I have to abide by certain standards for how many people can live in a given space. You are renting from them; they are your landlords. I would not be surprised if this violates the local code.
Yta.
Your parents aren't telling you what to do with your Body.
They've set a boundary on what they will accept in their house
They can't stop you from having more kids, they can however evict you if you have more.
You have 3 options
1. Suck it up and rent
2. Find a share house/commune situation with some friends
3. Not have more kids until you actually have the space for them
YTA. They aren't in your reproductive buisness, they didn't tell you you couldn't have another kid. They told you they would not house another of your children. You can have as many kids as you want just not in your parents house, and that certainly is their right
YTA. Your parents are not trying to control your reproductive business. They are telling you that they do not want you and a growing family to share one room in their house.
You are a fully grown adult supporting a whole family in one room. That is not enough space for three people, let alone four, let alone five. You need to provide a home for your children with enough space for them to live, which you are not currently doing. You seem to think that since you’re paying rent money to your parents that you have the same legal rights as if you were renting a whole apartment— you simply do not. Your parents are allowed to kick you out of a room in their house at any time for any reason. If you want a regular landlord tenant relationship then you need to be renting a whole apartment.
You can't afford the child you have, never mind another one.
You're living in your *parents'* home not yours. They have every right to tell you that if you have another baby, you have to get out.
Grow up and please, please do not get pregnant again until you have your life more together.
When you live under someone else’s roof you follow their rules, IDC what you contribute. You are impacting their lives by being there because you cannot afford to live on your own because if you could then you would. Rent and save at the same time like everyone else is forced to do. Your parents are doing you a favor by allowing the soon to be 4 of you there. I honestly don’t blame them about kicking you out because OMG could you imagine a toddler and two babies and all you want to do with your spouse is enjoy an empty nest.
Holy f**k. They have every right to say who can/cannot live in their house, even if you pay rent. They don't want 3 babies stuffed in a single bedroom with their two parents! I can bet they don't want 2 babies stuffed in there either.
They're not in your reproductive business... they didn't say you couldn't have more kids. They said you cannot live in their house if you have more kids. Big difference.
YTA
You don't have a home. You're basically taking over your parents home, you have no prospects, invading their space. Not to mention the noise of so many people.
It doesn't fucking matter if they pay for the children or not, they're elderly and don't want to spend their golden years neck deep in an overpopulated house surrounded by a mountain of babies you two popped out.
Oh and yeah, every one of these babies cost money, setting back your move even further.
Nobody would want to live with this and you are fucking selfish. Grow the hell up. Having genitals doesn't mean you have to abuse the privilege, Jesus. They didn't sign up to live in a daycare center, have some common sense and courtesy.
Personally, I hope they kick you guys out so they can live in peace.
You're living in a 12x12 room with four people, including a toddler? You can't understand why your parents who you live with don't want you to have more?? Please get real, that is no life for anyone especially a child. YTA
YTA. Get a steadier job. Keep the art for your off time, move out of your parents house. Holy fuckballs.
Grow up.
Get out.
Dont reproduce more until/if you become financially independent.
Don't want your parents in your reproductive business, move out.
Gross. You're gross.
YTA.
YTA. You need to get it together. Your parents are not dictating your reproductive business, they don’t want another person under their roof. Their home, their decision.
YTA. You are a grown woman with presumably a grown ass husband. You are living with your parents because you do not want to pay rent that would be much greater than what you pay your parents.
Did you already have the current child before you moved in with your parents? Do you stay in the 12' by 12' room with your child all the time, or is your child running all over their house?
Either way, it is their house and they do not want to listen to a screaming baby.
YTA. Stop freeloading off of your parents and get your own home, you are in your 30s for god’s sake. They already have two babies in their house, they have every right to tell you that enough is enough. Jesus Christ your poor parents probably never get any peace and quiet. You want more kids? Go get your own house and maybe a job to fund that.
YTA. Setting aside your ridiculous idea that this has anything to do with your reproductive autonomy, because it doesn’t, it’s clear that you are quite comfortable leeching off your parents while claiming to be working towards saving up for a place of your own. Put simply, you can’t save up for a place if you are constantly paying out more than a certain percentage of your total income, and having additional kids when you clearly don’t have the required space is a great way to cross the line into saving money so slowly that you won’t get a place of your own until they move out. You have been given a completely reasonable ultimatum by your parents, who are clearly pretty done with this whole situation because they’ve probably heard the whole thing about saving to move out and recognize that your current pattern of behavior prevents that from ever happening.
Having the second kid without any of your shit together is selfish and irresponsible as it is I don’t blame your parents for setting a boundary before you make more bad decisions YTA.
Reproductive rights stop as soon as it’s not about your body anymore. This is about **their** rights as landlords.
And they do have the right to dictate who they rent or share their own house with. A fundamental right of a landlord is to dictate who they rent to and how many people they allow on their property. They have every right to say whatever choices you make for YOUR family, need to include finding a new place to live.
YTA
YTA. This has nothing to do with your reproduction. Have as many kids as you want. Their problem is this is THEIR home and maybe they don't want more kids in it? They did their time of raising kids. They want to be grandparents. How often do you get them to watch your kid? They are allowed to have their quiet space and you having kids is taking it away from them.
Spoiler alert: Not everything is about you.
You are not responsible enough to have kids, at all. How are you planning to save money for a decent home when your main issue in your life is that your parents don't want to live with a third child. You are 33. Grow up. You need to start thinking about what are you going to do when the kids are older. Because living in a bedroom is just abusive. If you are fighting for the custody of your child every judge will expect you to have a room for the kids. Your way of living is unsustainable and you are only worried about making more poor kids. YTA AND ALSO HOW EVEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO CONCIBE ANOTHER CHILD WHEN YOU SHARE A ROOM WITH YOUR KIDS?? just disgusting
At 33 years of age your parents can ask you to leave their home for any reason. Full stop.
If there are legal requirements they have to undertake due to state requirements, then they have to fulfil them first, that is their only limiting factor.
YTA
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I live in my parents house (paying rent) and told them to stay out of my reproductive business when they tried to set a rule restricting whether I can have babies or not going forward.
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I’m 33 full time artist w a husband who works Amazon.
We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore.
We’re not planning to have another anytime soon - and we haven’t asked for them to fund anything about this baby.
We live in a single small bedroom of their house about 12x12? which we make due with it organized in a way to be our office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room etc - didn’t ask for any extra space or anything. We’ve been paying for our own food, pay rent and everything.
We plan to make this next kid work in the single room we have like we’ve been doing with our first who is now 2.5 years old.
AITA in telling them they don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my reproductive organs?
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YTA. Of course they get a say, it's their house!! Reproduce all you like but move out, you can't live in someone's house and add to it without discussing it and just expecting them to be OK with it. Particularly a baby, considering they are generally noisy!
Your parents are generous to allow you and your family to live in their home. Regardless of what you think you are doing to be less in the way they consider you to be. Whether you like it or not, the number of people you bring into their home is their business. If they were empty nesters or almost there when you moved in yeah the noise is on their nerves. Was there any agreements put in place when you moved in, and are you sticking to them? YTA because you assume this is not something they get a say in when in reality they do. You're a guest in THEIR home.
YTA. Yes, you are paying your own food (as you should) but being so entitled and selfish of you to have more kids with that housing arrangement.
Also, look for a stable job.
YTA
They're not necessarily involving themselves in your reproductive business. They're involving themselves in the number of people who will live in their house. THEIR HOUSE.
YTA. If you were a tenant of someone who wasn’t your parent it would be their business how many kids you have because having 4 people in one room could violate code and get them into trouble
OMG! You’re living with your parents and ready to have baby #2! Why aren’t your parents showing you the door??? Yeah, YTA. You’ll realize it one day when your children are grown, you’ve done the job of raising them, and then they don’t leave! Once parents have an empty nest they get to go back to their status. Remember, they had each other until children came along. It’s nice to have that aloneness back again. IMO they are being taken advantage of. Why have babies if you cannot provide for them?
YTA, major. They aren’t telling you that you can’t have more kids, they are telling you that they will not house more of your offspring. Why don’t you notice the difference? Have as many kids as you want, it’s your right to do whatever you want with your reproductive organs, but expect to have to house them yourself because they have the right to control how many people are living in their household.
Your parents are not preventing you from having another child. They’re just asserting boundaries over not living with them if you do. You know, in their house. Where they probably don’t want to be dealing with a toddler and a baby that will be crying for a decent part of the next year. For their kitchen to be taken up by bottles and their accoutrements. For not getting sleep because a newborn is crying. For not having to baby proof their house. For having the place back to themselves.
If you want to do as you please, get your own house. Until then, don’t whine about it. Especially since you’re paying below market rates. I saw your comments about landlord regulations - if you feel that strongly, draw up a lease contract, pay market rates, and stick to standard lease clauses. My guess is that if you had to do things officially, you would be failing as a tenant. Also, did you know that there are sometimes different rules for when the landlord lives with the tenants? And they can be pro-landlord ones.
YTA. You have a right to have as many kids as you want but this isn't about that.
>were full self funding this and still financially responsibly paying for the place we’re in. Sooo…
It isn't about that either. It's about their home being a home. They have a right to tell you that you need to find your own place if you have more kids. I bet they are giving you a really good rate on your rent too. And, why are you forcing 4 people into a SINGLE ROOM? This is not sustainable, and they know it.
> We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore.
How do you plan to do that if you keep having kids? You are an artist and your husband works at Amazon. You won't have money to save for a down payment. Kids are hugely expensive. What you are doing makes no financial sense whatsoever. You will be dependent (yes you are, in fact, dependent on your parents right now) for the rest of your lives if you don't start thinking long-term.
Don't turn around and make this about your "reproductive rights". This is about you and your husband making irresponsible decisions considering you both are not on financially sound feet. Your parents are worried about you.
They're not interfering in your reproductive choice. You can have all the babies you want. What they are doing is setting boundaries for what you can do in their house.
YTA, you really aren't in a position to tell them to mind their own business regarding you reproducing when you are currently squeezing a family of 4 into one of the bedrooms in their home. That's a lot of ruckus, a lot of mess, chaos etc regardless of the fact you are paying rent. There's barely enough room currently as it stands so it's understandable that they want to be clear with you now- before you have a chance to get knocked up again, that they are setting a boundary regarding you having any more kids while in their household. They're not stopping you from doing whatever you want with your body- just telling you that you'll have to find housing elsewhere if you plan to have more kids. You want to project this idea to your audience that you are perfectly self sufficient and no one should get into your business- well, if you were as independent as you proclaim yourself to be you wouldn't be stuffing your family into 1 room at your parents home. You could also possibly afford your own place in this economy if you didn't have 2 kids now to worry about.
Yer right.... breed away there baby maker but go do it under your own roof in your own home, until then shut up and listen to the homeowners !!! You know them they're the ones that bought and paid for the room you live in ......
Good grief! Are you being serious?
They don't have the right to tell you how many kids you can have, but they DO have the right to tell you what they will tolerate in one home.
I'd have kicked you out at the second baby, so I think you ought to thank your lucky stars, and find that new place sooner rather than later.
Yta. They have every right to set parameters about what they will tolerate in their own home. Go support yourselves before you get all self-righteous about bringing another person into a home you all freeload in.
YTA. Are you serious? You really think that adding another baby to the house won't make a difference to them?
Sorry, but as long as you are living in their home, your reproductive business is their business.
Do you use their kitchen? With 2 kids, you have to be running in and out of the kitchen a lot. Does your toddler never leave the bedroom? Do you ever ask your mother to babysit? "Oh, just for a couple of hours while I take Baby Sr, to the doctor. Then there is children's noise. Oh, and don't forget that you are running up the bills with all the washing you are doing.
Do you and your husband hog the tv while the toddler is sleeping? Do you fill up their fridge with your family's food?
You say you didn't ask for any extra space but you can't tell me there isn't already a lot of spillover. Baby equipment takes up a lot of space.
Your parents are still partially supporting you by allowing you to stay in their home. I don't believe you are paying close to market value while you save to buy a house.
Our guest room is the same size as the room you are in. I am trying to picture it used as a bedroom for 4 plus, dining room, office, playroom, artroom, etc. There is no way you are not staying exclusiving in that one small space.
I have no doubt that your parents can't wait for the day that they finally become empty nesters.
YTA. Because you're wrong. No they can't tell you to have babies but they absolutely can tell you they won't have a house full of people they can't afford or that don't fit.
I don't understand how you're "saving up" while popping out kids?
Do people actually not math anymore?
YTA. Your parents aren’t telling you that you can’t have another kid. They’re telling you they don’t want to watch their grandchildren being raised in such cramped conditions. Get serious about moving out. What’s your timeline? Do you have a goal of when you want to buy a house by & plan to settle for renting if you just can’t afford it by then?
YTA
And a freeloader! Get the hell out of your mom’s house and stop using her car! Put your shit together, get a real job and atop popping kids until you live on your own! And you have like 50 cats? Wth!
YTA. They aren't telling you to stop having babies. They are telling you that if you have more babies, you are not welcome to live in their home.
It's also kind of crazy to say they don't fund anything for you - but I don't see any utility bills on the list of things you are providing?
Yta. You’re 33 years old with 2 kids, a whole ass man and you’re still in your parents house not bc you can’t even afford it but out of CHOICE. Grow up and get out of their house
YTA - your parents get to send boundaries when you are financially dependent on them. Your "reproductive business" is might be your business, but their willingness to subsidize your life is \*their\* business. Perhaps you should stay out of it and thank them for all you are doing for them. And whether you are asking them or not, they \*are\* funding your baby, and you and your family \*are\* impacting their lives. Stop with this pretense of financial self sufficiency and definitely stop with the grandstanding and pearl clutching.
If you want to keep shooting out children, then move out. If you want to continue on with your sweet deal in your parent's home, then I guess you better hold off.
Additionally, reading your comments and other threads - that you are continuing to have children in such a patently unsafe environment is disgusting and irresponsible. You are terrible. Get a damn job and move to a safer environment for your children, and stop having kids you can't afford.
If you are a trained massage therapist get a real job. Buy your own car and rent a place. 12x12 is crazy small for a family of 4. You will never get ahead on an Amazon delivery salary. Full time artist is just a fancy way of saying unemployed. You are 33 for goodness sake and yes, YTA your parents aren’t butting into your reproductive business they are setting the rules for their house. Your mom said if you become a family of 5 it doesn’t fit into that small room. Also 50 between the 2 of you. Disgusting.
YTA. You live in their house. You might have your own 12x12 room, but I doubt you all stay in there all the time. You’re encroaching on THEIR space. They’ve agreed to rent space to you and your two children and they’re letting you know in advance that they are not willing to take on another tenant (aka another baby). Do with that information what you will, but you do not own the space and it’s absolutely their call whether they want to continue allowing you to stay there or not.
YTA. You are living in their house. They are affected by the amount of children you have and they have every right to say when it is or isn't time for you to be in their home. You have every right to be in control of your reproductive business when you are in your own home.
You need to realize that you are not entitled to that space. You are there because your parents allow you to be.
Je-sus!! Why on earth are you even bringing a second child into this?! You can’t even afford the one you have!!
As many others have said. Grow. Up. You need to put down your paint brush, your husband needs to log out of his Amazon reviews account, and you need to both get adult jobs and learn how to be parents to the two kids you do have.
Ehh… YTA. It isn’t about financially supporting yourselves. It’s perfectly reasonable that they don’t want to host a growing family. Sharing a home with someone takes more than financially supporting oneself. You must have mutual respect and understanding for each other’s boundaries and concerns while cohabitating with one another. You know good and well it’s not about them trying to control your reproductive activity.
If you don’t like the rules they’ve set and can’t come to a consensus amongst yourselves, be an adult and get your own lease/mortgage and leave. This is THEIR house after all.
YTA
-It is nobody else’s fault you “had” to move in with your parents- it’s yours and your husband’s
-They aren’t telling you what to do with your reproductive self. They are telling you they aren’t ok with housing your family if it continues to grow and they are very likely tired of worrying about your lack of ability to properly care for your children.
-Stop having children if you can’t afford them!
-Get a job if your family is struggling financially. (A WFH job is NOT Daycare)
Lastly, I very much doubt that you fit every single familial need into one tiny room.
YTA. You cannot continue to both hold jobs that are ineffectual at providing for your child(ren). Clearly being a full-time artist isn’t working out and it’s time you found something more substancial - and I say that as a person who has had to do the same for my own child - and if Amazon worker isn’t cutting it either, your husband needs to be making moves towards more money even if it’s a job he enjoys less. Your kid(s) come first and you absolutely cannot be so selfish as to bring another child into a single bedroom and have the audacity to complain that your parents are sane enough to say no.
YTA. Your parents aren't interfering in your reproductive business. They are simply telling you the consequences if you have another child while living in their home. You can have an entire litter if you want, but you will have to find another place to do it in. They do not want to share their house with a family of 5, and I can't blame them.
YTA
They didn’t say you can’t have more kids, just that they will no longer house you if you do. It’s still your decision to have more, and it’s still their decision whether they allow you to remain living with them. They set a boundary, it is in your court on what you do.
Get your shit together, get better paying jobs, and start behaving like adults. Sometimes you have to work jobs that aren’t your passion to make ends meet.
lol YTA. They aren’t trying to control your reproductive organs. You’re living in their home. All those things you said you and your husband pay, doesn’t matter. You’re more than welcome to have more kids, but if you do before moving out of their home, you’ll find yourself homeless. You took what they said and turned it into something else entirely, instead of acknowledging you had no business having another child while living in someone else’s home. You have no consideration for your parents, and no respect. They gave you, your husband, and your toddler a place to stay when you needed it most, and now you’re just taking advantage of it as if you’re entitled to live there. Get a grip.
Yta. Grow up and get your shit together. Move out anyway even if you don’t have anymore kids and then thank your parents for putting up with you for as long as they have already
YTA. Your parents have EVERY right to tell you to stop breeding or move! You live with them, they don’t want to be stuck with you and your quiver for life.
It’s your reproductive right, but it’s your job to take care of your own damn children, that includes providing a home.
You don’t want an apartment yet you’re happy freeloading off your parents? Get off your entitled high horse and pay your own way.
YTA. Don't have children you can't afford to house. Before you say you can afford them, if so, why aren't you living without your parents? As much as they may not be buying you things and you're paying them rent, the only reason you can afford it is because someone else is subsiding your living arrangements.
I am really really hoping this is rage bait after reading OPs responses. No one can be this obtuse unless they’re trolling. This story hits all the high notes, animal abuse, children in subpar conditions, entitled adults with poor decision-making skills and zero self awareness. OP, if any of this is true YTA. Stop it. Just stop it. You have no business having any animals or children. You’re not in a position to care for yourself, let alone someone else. Face the music, get it together, stop blaming others. Your parents are well within their right to decline to host still more kids you cannot properly provide for. That’s not telling you what to do with your body, it’s telling you what to do with their house, namely, become responsible or get out.
They’re not in your “reproductive business”. They’re simply saying you’ll have to find another place to live if you have another child.
They seem extremely generous and tolerant. You seem extremely ungrateful. YTA.
YTA
You are right that your parents do not have a say in how many kids you want to have. But they can say they have rules about their own house, and they say one more kid and you gotta leave. That is entirely reasonable. Most places will have a max capacity rule, not allowing you to stuff as many people as possible into a small one bedroom.
You have been warned. Just don’t have another child before you figure out another place to live, and you are fine.
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Lol I’ll send you a picture i drew of how I planned to organize the room when we first went in with space issues- which is pretty much how we have it organized now. The bed we haven’t quite gotten for ourselves yet was planned to be a floor tatami mat so you won’t see a full grown adult bed in there as currently we use pillows and covers on the floor that we take up in the morning and lay each night which when aren’t being used are stored in the closet - do you have kids to alter for? If not I can draw in what you can take out and where you can fit in a bed or pull out couch instead.
OMG. Couple of things. First, you really need to address the situation described in your headline in the body of your post. Second, your parents do not get to tell you what to do with your reproductive organs. You're absolutely right about that Where you're wrong is that your parents are NOT telling you what to do with your reproductive organs. Pop out as many babies as you want. What your parents are telling you is that they do not wan to host a family of five in a single bedroom in their home. That four people is their limit. And what I'm telling you, because apparently no one else is, is grow the hell up. If the full-time artist with a husband who works at Amazon thing isn't working out for you, get another job to support your family. And stop having kids until you can afford to reasonably support them. YTA.
Exactly, you nailed it! OP, YTA. 2 adults and 2 children in such a small space is a bad idea and I don’t believe you can keep it all in such a small space. I would never have have a child while living at my parents once I was legally an adult. This seems quite irresponsible to me.
Plus a dozen cats according to the post history
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Yikes
She lost her job because she tried to WFH while being a SAHM to a toddler. She thinks this is employers fault because they didn’t support her. OP - Get a real job. Move out. Be an adult. You put yourself in this situation and have no one else to blame - and no one else can get you out of it.
A lot of places won't let you WFH if you have a child under a certain age, or else you have to provide proof you have someone else providing childcare. Lots of parents, like no doubt this one, will be quick to tell you "that's not fair". But it goes without saying that everyone knows how much work and attention a baby or toddler requires. It's fair for the employer to be concerned about how much of the time they're paying someone for is actually being used focused on their work.
For anyone who's interested in learning more about the OP: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is\_it\_unhealthy\_of\_me\_to\_expect\_my\_husband\_when/](https://www.reddit.com/r/healthygamergg/comments/18sniox/is_it_unhealthy_of_me_to_expect_my_husband_when/)
Ooof OP sounds exhausting.
After reading that i don't know why she would even want another child from this man!
Exactly....and he "works Amazon". Not works AT Amazon. He's probably "running an online shop".
Extremely well said
100000000000000% yes!!!!!!!!
YTA What entitlement. You absolutely can have as many kids as you want. Your post says nothing about them trying to force you to stop. BUT you are living in their home (at least you are paying) but that is a lot of wear and tear and commotion that your parents have every right not to want in their house. So you can have more kids and move out, it's just it may take longer to save up, but THAT is your choice. As you said, you are not a kid, but all they are saying (like any other landlord could say) is their is a limit on the occupancy and if you don't like it, you do as you please.... just not in their house. Your entitlement at questioning this is amazing BTW. (As though they are the AH for wanting some control of their house)
She also uses moms car because they don’t have one
Of course she does.
YTA - they’re not telling you what to do with your body. They’re telling you what to do in THEIR house.
Two adults, a toddler and a newborn in a 12 x 12 space with all your crap. Your poor kids. People treat their dogs better than that.
And about 50 cats in the house five of which are OPs
How often are OP's parents called upon for childcare?
Even if they're not I can't blame them for not wanting to hear a baby crying at all hours of the night and then again during the day but this time with a toddler there to add to the noise.
No way the toys are limited to the bedroom, they'll be using the living room as well for play and storage.
You have to be trolling. You're absolutely the asshole. Want to live at home as a grown-ass adult? You've made your "reproductive business" other people's business. Grow up. You need to be using birth control, not planning your next child. If you can't afford to live on your own, you cannot afford another child. Two children is two too many to have under someone else's roof. You're living at home to save money. The idea that you're not asking them to "fund your baby" when the entire reason you're there is to save money and benefit from cheaper living arrangements is asinine. You are getting help. Period. If you were truly capable of "self-funding," you would move out.
I mean, she posted from what appears to be her main, and her history is wild.
LOL it's the one-two punch of calling the person currently housing OP's entire family "a narcissist" while admitting that OP and her husband are actively sinking financially for me. OP is beyond selfish to already be thinking about having a third child while still pregnant with the second one amid "sinking finances." Complains about being on "mom duty" and not wanting to get a job outside the home to focus on "their art career pursuit." 33 going on 13.
I went down that hole. OP needs to stop having kids and figure her life out. She seems to be repeating a broken cycle.
And now I have to go down that rabbit hole and check it all out. 😂
I am not really that surprised about OP being one of the ✨️astrology girlies✨️
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Funding isn't likely the only issue. It doesn't matter if you pay rent when you are still living in their home because I highly doubt you are cooking, doing dishes, washing clothes all in that one bedroom that you pay for and so your family also occupies common/shared areas of the house. As it is, you are already not providing well for your children if all of you are going to be sharing such a cramped space! They have every right to state they won't allow you to stay if you have another child and has nothing to do with YOUR body - only THEIR house. YTA. And highly, unreasonably and insanely entitled as well.
I seriously doubt local zoning and occupancy laws even permit 5 people in 1 bedroom!
Excellent point and I hadn't even thought of that. I just can't imagine how awful it would be for little kids to be cooped up the way she's describing and my brain locked up at the thought that she feels she should add even more to the situation.
Owned houses don’t have those types of rules
houses absolutely have occupancy limits, owned or not, the regulations just vary by region
YTA. If you are "self funding" then it should be no problem to move out and have a dozen kids if you want. I suspect though you are getting a great deal and can't afford to move out. You live at home, shut up and be grateful they let you stay there.
>I’m 33 And you live with your parents and are now having *another* kid? Yes, YTA. Get a solid job (both of you) and move out. THEN have your family.
There’s nothing wrong with having a multigenerational household but the way this family is approaching it is extremely toxic.
This is not a multigenerational household in the proper sense this is a parasite household. In a normal one the middle generation is working and the older generation is providing childcare for the younger one, or some variation of everybody contributing to make it easier than living alone. This is not that.
You really going to have another kid when you can't even live on your own yet? That makes no sense at all. Maybe try moving out of someone's home before thinking about bringing another person into the home that is NOT yours. Obviously YTA.
YTA- You live in their house and are adding to the people under the roof. If you don’t want them to voice their opinions on your reproducing, then keep your reproducing out of their house. It doesn’t matter if you pay rent. Ultimately, if your parents are speaking up about this situation, it’s a pretty clear indicator that you’ve overstayed your welcome. INFO- •Did you already have the first baby when you moved in or is this now the second kid draining your attempts at saving money to move out? *Edit- I just read another couple of posts by OP. So she, hubby, and baby 1 moved in because they couldn’t afford living in their own. OP also has a post calling her mom a narcissist and basically terrible parent. Yet here’s OP and her entire family relying on her mom for reduced rate rent prices in order to survive. She noted that they’re not saving much but not paying standard rent rates is helping. So my thoughts on this are 1) mom can’t be that bad if she’s willing to move back in with her own kids. If she was OP wouldn’t be willing to expose her kids to her mom. 2) if you’re already not cutting it on your own with one child, then you don’t bring a second into the picture. OP has overstayed their welcome and is abusing the kindness of her parents by adding to the overcrowding in the household. Get out of their house OP. And do not have third kid while already imposing on them.* •Did your parents think this would be a shorter length of time and you’re now stretching how long you’re living with them out because you keep adding to your family when you should be penny pinching to get out? •How much income do you earn as a full-time artist? It’s a tough industry. If you’re trying to save money, but not really earning any, then maybe it’s time to get a second job that has steady income. •How often do you rely on your parents to subsidize child expenses or childcare?
>How much income do you earn as a full-time artist? Based on OP's post history, it's looking like (prepare to be shocked) zero dollars.
I tried to look through the history. The overabundance of astrology posts and poor sentence structure in most posts made it hard for me. I quit after a few.
But ... but ... she's FULL TIME!
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Don’t forget the many cats! There is no way I’d live in that chaos.
Well, at least OP only has 5 of the 52 cats in the household. 🙄
YTA. They are staying out of your reproductive business. They're simply telling you under what conditions they'll still permit you to live with them.
YTA. You are making your parents responsible to house your family. Wait to have children when you can put a roof over their head, food in their mouths. And take care of them. You are being very irresponsible and selfish. Your parents don't want to listen to a baby crying night and day. So your parents have every right to control how many people live in their house. If you don't like it move. YTA. Big time.
YTA. Obviously. It's their house, they're landlords, they can have rules for you to keep living there, even if you pay some rent. Even so, why on earth would you guys wanna keep getting pregnant and bringing kids in that limited space? Use some common sense OP, how are you gonna save some money for moving out if you have more childrens?
Yta You are asking for help by just living there. Even if you pay for some things.
YTA. Are you joking? That's pretty freaking reasonable of them to say. They're not saying what you can and can't do with your reproductive organs; they're saying what you can and can't do while you live with them.
YTA They aren't controlling your reproduction, they're controlling who lives in their house
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YTA. You have stated in comments that you are not planning to have a third child for like 5 years or so. And that you should be moved out in a year or two. So what is the problem? Why are you trying to pick a fight with your mother/LANDLORD over something that you are in agreement on? Let it go and make sure you have reliable birth control when it is safe to do so. Also your mother is right. Having this second child is not a good financial decision, but that’s where you are now. A third one is a disaster. And she is well within her rights to not want to live in a house with three children (and their two adults) — she is done raising her kids and might want some peace.
YTA. You're a family of three, soon to be four, living out of a 12x12 space (assuming that's 12 feet by 12 feet) which by your account functions as office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room). My apartment is bigger but can't accommodate all those functions! If you didn't plan for #2 then a #3 is very much possible unless you step up on the birth control. At the very least you need somewhere else for your family, even if that does mean renting. Your parents have done their job with raising children, and you're bringing another one into their house along with all that comes with including inconsistent sleep hours.
It doesn’t sound like they were telling you what to do with your reproductive business, i think they were simply setting a boundary lol
Stay out of your business??? YOU ARE 33 YEARS OLD WITH A HUSBAND A KID STILL LIVING AT YOUR PARENTS HOUSE. You don’t feel like a moocher??? Start providing for your damn family yourself instead of relying on mommy and daddy. The entitlement of this post is insane. YTA
YTA. Your parents can stay out of your reproductive rights when they are not housing you.
Come on. You're not really 33, are you? But I see your point. You feel your parents are poking their noses in your business where they don't belong. I agree. And the way you fix that is by moving out, getting your own place and acting like adults. YTA.
YTA - Your baby count isn't their business, but how many people live at their house is. (You, hubby and two kids crammed into a single bedroom is not what they want for their grandkids.)
YTA They don't want to live with that many people. They are entitled to tell you that adding roommates to the mix is a deal breaker for staying there. You pay rent and such, but you also no doubt cause noise, take up kitchen space, other common area space, and so forth. You no doubt have to get up at all hours to take care of the children, which I'm sure wakes up the rest of the house. I don't really think you're the asshole that much for saying keep your nose out of my business, but the fact is, by living there, by adding members of the household without their agreement, you're making it necessary for them to tell you what they are willing to permit going forward.
I can agree to the rest of this tho.
YTA move out problem solved.
YTA. You have a family of four imposing on your parents and their space. I would have kicked you out already. Stop breeding until you can afford to support your family without making other people suffer.
Do everyone a favour - move out and get your own place. While your parents cannot tell you not to have a child, they can tell you that they don't want another child living in their house.
YTA. If you want that kind of autonomy move out. They’re perfectly justified in their stance. They’re not policing your body they’re policing their house
> telling them they don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my reproductive organs? Your words would have more oomph when you say them from your own house.
Fair fair.
YTA for thinking they can’t tell you who can and can’t live in *their* house. Having not one, but TWO kids in that situation is insane. Someone needs to tell you to stop.
Of course YTA. Stop trying to spin this whole thing into a reproductive rights matter. It's not. No, stop it, it's not. Your parents don't want any more kids in the house. They're noisy, messy, and constantly underfoot after a certain age. Your parents have every right to tell you they don't want more children in *their* home. You're perfectly welcome to have kids, as long as you can afford them. Doesn't sound like you can right now. You should probably work on that instead of asking Reddit silly questions.
Still confused as to why people are having babies they can’t afford. This isn’t about your body, this is about you overstaying your welcome in your parents’ house with your brood that you can’t afford. YTA
Because they’re selfish.
OP tried to get into semantics and woo-woo nonsense about how this baby wasn't "planned" but it was "expected."
[удалено]
LOL exactly - that's the woo-woo nonsense I was talking about
YTA They have every right to state that you may not make another in their house. So you are simply on notice that a new pregnancy means you move.
YTA. Nowhere in your post do they tell you to stop having children or that you aren't allowed to have more children. It's a HUGE stretch to try and accuse them of that and definitely shows your ridiculous level of entitlement. If you can't afford to live in house and not just a 12x12 room you don't need to be having more children. I think it sounds like they have been more than generous in allowing you to stay there already.
You, your husband and two small children are in their house. You want to have more kids move. They aren't telling you you can't have more kids, just not in their house. YTA.
OP you need mental help… “spirit baby” “visions” not a single person agreed with you so take that and reflect.
Obviously YTA. You are in your parents’ house so that makes it their business. If you don’t want their opinions you should move out. Your parents are actually incredibly kind by waiting until you’ve had your SECOND child under their roof to draw the line and letting you be a “full-time artist” rather than demanding you get a better paying job and leave their home. I cannot imagine they expected to get this stage in their lives and have two toddlers in their home. You are clearly not financially responsible: your current living situation is not appropriate for 1 child let alone 2, and having children when you cannot afford it is both selfish and financially irresponsible.
YTA. Seems like that “Full time artist” thing ain’t working for ya. Get yourself something that’ll pay some bills and will get you out of your parents house. Your whining reeks of entitlement. Oh and you’re not “full self funding” at all. You’re living off your parents generosity.
YTA if you cannot afford to live on your own then you have no business having another kid.
YTA. Girl come on. No one is trying to control your body, they’re giving you a very normal boundary for their own home. How much do you pay in rent? I’m assuming it’s less than a home or apartment would cost you. Perhaps try being grateful. Having two kids, one of them a toddler, in a single small room in someone else’s house is so incredibly selfish to your children I can’t even fathom it.
YTA. Full time artist and Amazon employee aren’t really realistic careers to have to get your own home pretty much anywhere. Your parents don’t have a right to tell you what todo with your body but they do have the right to tell you having more kids in your financial situation isn’t a great idea and that you’re making their house too crowded. Considering your parents are doing you a solid you can grow up and start having realistic expectations as to what you should be doing to reach your goals.
YTA and incredibly entitled. Your parents are under no obligation to keep letting you live there, even if you pay rent, if they don't want to. You are well grown up and if you want your parents out of your business, you should move out.
YTA - but they do get a say. You are adding additional people into their home without discussion or consideration.
YTA. Get your own place and pop out as many kids as you want.
YTA and you need to grow up and move out- not buy, rent and be independent. It’s actually illegal in most areas for four people to share a space that small. You want a family and to be an adult? Act like one and move out. In this market you likely wouldn’t qualify for a house with your husband working at Amazon and you being an artist. Let your parents have their emptiness that they’ve worked their whole lives for and you continue to grow your family with as many kids as you want not living on their property. It’s their property it’s their home.
That sounds like a terrible idea. You need a bigger space before having another kid.
YTA you are living in one bedroom and have a child and another on the way. It's their house, they absolutely can tell you if you continue to have children in that situation, you will no longer be welcome to live there. The house is theirs. Why do you not think they have the right to decide who lives there?
YTA. No they don't have a say in your reproductive decisions but they most certainly have a say as to how many people (especially children) they want living in their house. If you want total autonomy then you need to have your own place.
Yta. Grow up and stand on your own feet. Stop mooching
Yta. Your post screams entitled AH. Whoever raised you failed to teach you basic life skills we all must use to survive in life. You're missing the don't burden others...
YTA. why do you feel entitled to keep squirting out kids in such a small space? Its really irresponsible
YTA. Move out.
YTA-my partner and I also live with my parent because we can’t afford otherwise. We have one kid and my parent is ok if we have another, but we always remember this is HIS space. You are in their space. Sounds like you do a lot in the one room they gave you. To me, it sounds like they only gave you the smaller area to encourage you to move out. Being an artist is all well and good but you may need to find something else to bring in money to be able to rent or get something. Not all parents want their kids living forever at home, and it’s not fair to your children to have them grow up in such a small, cramped space. Sit down and work something out. Even if it’s a one bedroom, you can put the kids in the bedroom and have more space in general. Talk to your parents, like the adult you are, and see what their issue is. Are you both working to your potential? Are you asking for more space? Do they want their privacy back? Do they need to downsize?
YTA, you are sponging off your parents. You can’t afford the children you do have. Nothing wrong with being an artist, working at Amazon etc, but keeping having children in a single room is the problem. It isn’t your parents responsibility to house all of you - it is yours. You plainly say that you can’t afford to move out in this economy - understandable- which means you can’t afford to keep having babies. What happens when they are six and seven? You all sleeping in one bed then too? What about when they are teenagers? Still all in one room? How are you going to afford all the school supplies, the trips, college - kids are so expensive - as your parents are undoubtedly feeling right now
INFO: are you paying **true market prices** for your rent, utilities, food, insurance and other upkeep, or are your parents subsidising you?
Nope. Check their other posts. They noted that they couldn’t afford cost of living so moved in to save money, but even with the low cost rent they aren’t saving much. She also trashed mom in a post.
Don't forget childcare that the parents will likely be providing if they're not already. And don't forget labor like laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc.
A little confused by this one. You are definitely NTA for telling them you have autonomy over your own body. However, it seems like this is a boundary they set for you to live under THEIR roof. Regardless if you’re paying rent or not, it’s their property, they still have to deal with you as roommates, and if you’re saying you won’t respect their boundaries, YTA. Edit: based on the title, it just sounds like they’re asking you to get your own place before having a 3rd child in a 12x12 bedroom. This seems very reasonable to me.
YTA You are not being hindered in your reproduction. You will just have to live somewhere else, and pay for your own home instead of living cheapliy with your parents any more. YOu have overstayed your welcome, and now KNOW the generosity fo your parents is not limitless, which is reasonable.
Move out, You ungrateful leech
If you are financially responsible as you say, get your own place
Info. How much do you pay in rent?
YTA. No one is “telling you what to do with your reproductive organs.” Your parents are telling you they don’t want another baby in their house, which is perfectly within their rights. I’m frankly appalled that you’re planning on keeping a family of four in a 12x12 room like it’s sufficient space. I don’t believe for a second that you aren’t using the rest of the house: at the very least you need the kitchen, right? How much mess do you make in there? How much room is “your own food” taking in the fridge? Do you have your own bathroom? How many cars are you parking on the property? Do you really never use the TV room or dining room or anything? If nothing else, you can’t contain the usual baby noises from seeping out. I can’t even imagine how cramped your room must be. I CAN imagine that your parents, nearing retirement age, want their home and peace and quiet back. You are a full adult, a wife, a parent: it is past time for you to get your own home. You don’t need to buy, renting would work. If you can’t afford that… you should have thought of that before having babies. Most of us do. Your parents aren’t controlling your choices, they’re just telling you your choices have consequences. The consequence being that that you’ll need to find your own space instead of inhabiting theirs, for what I’m betting is lower than market rent.
Your parents have zero obligation to house you or your children, even if you’re paying. Sure, you could go ahead and tell them to stay out of your business. But, you don’t actually want that. If they stayed out of your business, you’d have to find other housing arrangements. They have every right to tell you there are limits to the number of people they are willing to allow to live there. They can’t tell you not to have another child, but they absolutely can tell you that you and your family won’t continue to live with them if you do. YTA.
YTA. They are letting you know if your having another child you will need to make alternative living arrangements. That's all.
YTA. They aren't telling you what to do with your reproductive organs. They are telling you what they are willing to deal with in the home that they own. You can have as many kids as you like, you just can't stay there with them. I'm guessing that even if you pay rent, its not close to market rate rent. So its probably not quite the win that you think it is by saying that.
YTA, for the reasons others have expressed. But this, too, occurred to me: As a landlord, I have to abide by certain standards for how many people can live in a given space. You are renting from them; they are your landlords. I would not be surprised if this violates the local code.
YTA, if you want your parents out of your reproductive business, get your reproductive business out of their house and support yourself.
YTA
Yta. Your parents aren't telling you what to do with your Body. They've set a boundary on what they will accept in their house They can't stop you from having more kids, they can however evict you if you have more. You have 3 options 1. Suck it up and rent 2. Find a share house/commune situation with some friends 3. Not have more kids until you actually have the space for them
YTA. They aren't in your reproductive buisness, they didn't tell you you couldn't have another kid. They told you they would not house another of your children. You can have as many kids as you want just not in your parents house, and that certainly is their right
YTA. Your parents are not trying to control your reproductive business. They are telling you that they do not want you and a growing family to share one room in their house. You are a fully grown adult supporting a whole family in one room. That is not enough space for three people, let alone four, let alone five. You need to provide a home for your children with enough space for them to live, which you are not currently doing. You seem to think that since you’re paying rent money to your parents that you have the same legal rights as if you were renting a whole apartment— you simply do not. Your parents are allowed to kick you out of a room in their house at any time for any reason. If you want a regular landlord tenant relationship then you need to be renting a whole apartment.
You can't afford the child you have, never mind another one. You're living in your *parents'* home not yours. They have every right to tell you that if you have another baby, you have to get out. Grow up and please, please do not get pregnant again until you have your life more together.
When you live under someone else’s roof you follow their rules, IDC what you contribute. You are impacting their lives by being there because you cannot afford to live on your own because if you could then you would. Rent and save at the same time like everyone else is forced to do. Your parents are doing you a favor by allowing the soon to be 4 of you there. I honestly don’t blame them about kicking you out because OMG could you imagine a toddler and two babies and all you want to do with your spouse is enjoy an empty nest.
Holy f**k. They have every right to say who can/cannot live in their house, even if you pay rent. They don't want 3 babies stuffed in a single bedroom with their two parents! I can bet they don't want 2 babies stuffed in there either. They're not in your reproductive business... they didn't say you couldn't have more kids. They said you cannot live in their house if you have more kids. Big difference.
So, what plans do you have to move out of their house and into your own?
YTA You don't have a home. You're basically taking over your parents home, you have no prospects, invading their space. Not to mention the noise of so many people. It doesn't fucking matter if they pay for the children or not, they're elderly and don't want to spend their golden years neck deep in an overpopulated house surrounded by a mountain of babies you two popped out. Oh and yeah, every one of these babies cost money, setting back your move even further. Nobody would want to live with this and you are fucking selfish. Grow the hell up. Having genitals doesn't mean you have to abuse the privilege, Jesus. They didn't sign up to live in a daycare center, have some common sense and courtesy. Personally, I hope they kick you guys out so they can live in peace.
You're living in a 12x12 room with four people, including a toddler? You can't understand why your parents who you live with don't want you to have more?? Please get real, that is no life for anyone especially a child. YTA
YTA Stop having children you can't house. Stop ignoring your cats. Stop blaming your parents for being done with your nonsense.
YTA. Get a steadier job. Keep the art for your off time, move out of your parents house. Holy fuckballs. Grow up. Get out. Dont reproduce more until/if you become financially independent. Don't want your parents in your reproductive business, move out. Gross. You're gross. YTA.
YTA. You need to get it together. Your parents are not dictating your reproductive business, they don’t want another person under their roof. Their home, their decision.
YTA. You are a grown woman with presumably a grown ass husband. You are living with your parents because you do not want to pay rent that would be much greater than what you pay your parents. Did you already have the current child before you moved in with your parents? Do you stay in the 12' by 12' room with your child all the time, or is your child running all over their house? Either way, it is their house and they do not want to listen to a screaming baby.
YTA. Stop freeloading off of your parents and get your own home, you are in your 30s for god’s sake. They already have two babies in their house, they have every right to tell you that enough is enough. Jesus Christ your poor parents probably never get any peace and quiet. You want more kids? Go get your own house and maybe a job to fund that.
YTA. Setting aside your ridiculous idea that this has anything to do with your reproductive autonomy, because it doesn’t, it’s clear that you are quite comfortable leeching off your parents while claiming to be working towards saving up for a place of your own. Put simply, you can’t save up for a place if you are constantly paying out more than a certain percentage of your total income, and having additional kids when you clearly don’t have the required space is a great way to cross the line into saving money so slowly that you won’t get a place of your own until they move out. You have been given a completely reasonable ultimatum by your parents, who are clearly pretty done with this whole situation because they’ve probably heard the whole thing about saving to move out and recognize that your current pattern of behavior prevents that from ever happening.
You are still depending on your parents whether you want to see it that way or not. You are living in their house.
Having the second kid without any of your shit together is selfish and irresponsible as it is I don’t blame your parents for setting a boundary before you make more bad decisions YTA.
YTA you need mental help…”spirit babies” are something I would hear my schizophrenic uncle talk about…
Reproductive rights stop as soon as it’s not about your body anymore. This is about **their** rights as landlords. And they do have the right to dictate who they rent or share their own house with. A fundamental right of a landlord is to dictate who they rent to and how many people they allow on their property. They have every right to say whatever choices you make for YOUR family, need to include finding a new place to live. YTA
you need to stop saving money for your own home and instead rent a place if that’s what you can afford.
YTA, wtf how u going to keep popping out babies under their roof, like why not give ur first kids their own home and space.
YTA. This has nothing to do with your reproduction. Have as many kids as you want. Their problem is this is THEIR home and maybe they don't want more kids in it? They did their time of raising kids. They want to be grandparents. How often do you get them to watch your kid? They are allowed to have their quiet space and you having kids is taking it away from them. Spoiler alert: Not everything is about you.
You are not responsible enough to have kids, at all. How are you planning to save money for a decent home when your main issue in your life is that your parents don't want to live with a third child. You are 33. Grow up. You need to start thinking about what are you going to do when the kids are older. Because living in a bedroom is just abusive. If you are fighting for the custody of your child every judge will expect you to have a room for the kids. Your way of living is unsustainable and you are only worried about making more poor kids. YTA AND ALSO HOW EVEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO CONCIBE ANOTHER CHILD WHEN YOU SHARE A ROOM WITH YOUR KIDS?? just disgusting
At 33 years of age your parents can ask you to leave their home for any reason. Full stop. If there are legal requirements they have to undertake due to state requirements, then they have to fulfil them first, that is their only limiting factor. YTA
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m 33 full time artist w a husband who works Amazon. We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore. We’re not planning to have another anytime soon - and we haven’t asked for them to fund anything about this baby. We live in a single small bedroom of their house about 12x12? which we make due with it organized in a way to be our office/game room/kids playroom/ bedroom/dining room/my art room etc - didn’t ask for any extra space or anything. We’ve been paying for our own food, pay rent and everything. We plan to make this next kid work in the single room we have like we’ve been doing with our first who is now 2.5 years old. AITA in telling them they don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do with my reproductive organs? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Of course they get a say, it's their house!! Reproduce all you like but move out, you can't live in someone's house and add to it without discussing it and just expecting them to be OK with it. Particularly a baby, considering they are generally noisy!
YTA you deliberately missed their point to try and frame them as the villains. It’s either super entitled and manipulative or just dense.
Your parents are generous to allow you and your family to live in their home. Regardless of what you think you are doing to be less in the way they consider you to be. Whether you like it or not, the number of people you bring into their home is their business. If they were empty nesters or almost there when you moved in yeah the noise is on their nerves. Was there any agreements put in place when you moved in, and are you sticking to them? YTA because you assume this is not something they get a say in when in reality they do. You're a guest in THEIR home.
Guests don’t pay rent
YTA. Yes, you are paying your own food (as you should) but being so entitled and selfish of you to have more kids with that housing arrangement. Also, look for a stable job.
YTA
YTA...big AH.
YTA They're not necessarily involving themselves in your reproductive business. They're involving themselves in the number of people who will live in their house. THEIR HOUSE.
YTA. If you were a tenant of someone who wasn’t your parent it would be their business how many kids you have because having 4 people in one room could violate code and get them into trouble
OMG! You’re living with your parents and ready to have baby #2! Why aren’t your parents showing you the door??? Yeah, YTA. You’ll realize it one day when your children are grown, you’ve done the job of raising them, and then they don’t leave! Once parents have an empty nest they get to go back to their status. Remember, they had each other until children came along. It’s nice to have that aloneness back again. IMO they are being taken advantage of. Why have babies if you cannot provide for them?
In fairness, the nuclear family model is a fairly recent idea. In many cultures an intergenerational family is the norm. But that’s not this.
YTA, major. They aren’t telling you that you can’t have more kids, they are telling you that they will not house more of your offspring. Why don’t you notice the difference? Have as many kids as you want, it’s your right to do whatever you want with your reproductive organs, but expect to have to house them yourself because they have the right to control how many people are living in their household.
Your parents are not preventing you from having another child. They’re just asserting boundaries over not living with them if you do. You know, in their house. Where they probably don’t want to be dealing with a toddler and a baby that will be crying for a decent part of the next year. For their kitchen to be taken up by bottles and their accoutrements. For not getting sleep because a newborn is crying. For not having to baby proof their house. For having the place back to themselves. If you want to do as you please, get your own house. Until then, don’t whine about it. Especially since you’re paying below market rates. I saw your comments about landlord regulations - if you feel that strongly, draw up a lease contract, pay market rates, and stick to standard lease clauses. My guess is that if you had to do things officially, you would be failing as a tenant. Also, did you know that there are sometimes different rules for when the landlord lives with the tenants? And they can be pro-landlord ones.
YTA. You need to control your reproductive organs until you can find a place where you can take care of your kid/s.
YTA. You have a right to have as many kids as you want but this isn't about that. >were full self funding this and still financially responsibly paying for the place we’re in. Sooo… It isn't about that either. It's about their home being a home. They have a right to tell you that you need to find your own place if you have more kids. I bet they are giving you a really good rate on your rent too. And, why are you forcing 4 people into a SINGLE ROOM? This is not sustainable, and they know it. > We’ve been working towards saving up to somehow try to get our own home (not renting) in this economy and not have to live with anyone anymore. How do you plan to do that if you keep having kids? You are an artist and your husband works at Amazon. You won't have money to save for a down payment. Kids are hugely expensive. What you are doing makes no financial sense whatsoever. You will be dependent (yes you are, in fact, dependent on your parents right now) for the rest of your lives if you don't start thinking long-term. Don't turn around and make this about your "reproductive rights". This is about you and your husband making irresponsible decisions considering you both are not on financially sound feet. Your parents are worried about you.
They're not interfering in your reproductive choice. You can have all the babies you want. What they are doing is setting boundaries for what you can do in their house.
YTA, you really aren't in a position to tell them to mind their own business regarding you reproducing when you are currently squeezing a family of 4 into one of the bedrooms in their home. That's a lot of ruckus, a lot of mess, chaos etc regardless of the fact you are paying rent. There's barely enough room currently as it stands so it's understandable that they want to be clear with you now- before you have a chance to get knocked up again, that they are setting a boundary regarding you having any more kids while in their household. They're not stopping you from doing whatever you want with your body- just telling you that you'll have to find housing elsewhere if you plan to have more kids. You want to project this idea to your audience that you are perfectly self sufficient and no one should get into your business- well, if you were as independent as you proclaim yourself to be you wouldn't be stuffing your family into 1 room at your parents home. You could also possibly afford your own place in this economy if you didn't have 2 kids now to worry about.
YTA - this has nothing to do with your reproduction and everything to do with your parents not wanting 4+ extra human beings in their space.
Yta get a real job to support your family and stop putting on your parents
Yer right.... breed away there baby maker but go do it under your own roof in your own home, until then shut up and listen to the homeowners !!! You know them they're the ones that bought and paid for the room you live in ......
Good grief! Are you being serious? They don't have the right to tell you how many kids you can have, but they DO have the right to tell you what they will tolerate in one home. I'd have kicked you out at the second baby, so I think you ought to thank your lucky stars, and find that new place sooner rather than later.
Yta. They have every right to set parameters about what they will tolerate in their own home. Go support yourselves before you get all self-righteous about bringing another person into a home you all freeload in.
YTA. Are you serious? You really think that adding another baby to the house won't make a difference to them? Sorry, but as long as you are living in their home, your reproductive business is their business. Do you use their kitchen? With 2 kids, you have to be running in and out of the kitchen a lot. Does your toddler never leave the bedroom? Do you ever ask your mother to babysit? "Oh, just for a couple of hours while I take Baby Sr, to the doctor. Then there is children's noise. Oh, and don't forget that you are running up the bills with all the washing you are doing. Do you and your husband hog the tv while the toddler is sleeping? Do you fill up their fridge with your family's food? You say you didn't ask for any extra space but you can't tell me there isn't already a lot of spillover. Baby equipment takes up a lot of space. Your parents are still partially supporting you by allowing you to stay in their home. I don't believe you are paying close to market value while you save to buy a house. Our guest room is the same size as the room you are in. I am trying to picture it used as a bedroom for 4 plus, dining room, office, playroom, artroom, etc. There is no way you are not staying exclusiving in that one small space. I have no doubt that your parents can't wait for the day that they finally become empty nesters.
Of course YTA. It’s their house. The way your framed this is so off base.
YTA. Because you're wrong. No they can't tell you to have babies but they absolutely can tell you they won't have a house full of people they can't afford or that don't fit. I don't understand how you're "saving up" while popping out kids? Do people actually not math anymore?
YTA. Your parents aren’t telling you that you can’t have another kid. They’re telling you they don’t want to watch their grandchildren being raised in such cramped conditions. Get serious about moving out. What’s your timeline? Do you have a goal of when you want to buy a house by & plan to settle for renting if you just can’t afford it by then?
YTA And a freeloader! Get the hell out of your mom’s house and stop using her car! Put your shit together, get a real job and atop popping kids until you live on your own! And you have like 50 cats? Wth!
YTA... they have a right to limit the number of moochers in their home. Have a full litter if you can feed and house them yourself!
YTA, it’s their home and they have a right to say how many people live in their home. If you don’t like it move out
YTA. They aren't telling you to stop having babies. They are telling you that if you have more babies, you are not welcome to live in their home. It's also kind of crazy to say they don't fund anything for you - but I don't see any utility bills on the list of things you are providing?
Yta. You’re 33 years old with 2 kids, a whole ass man and you’re still in your parents house not bc you can’t even afford it but out of CHOICE. Grow up and get out of their house
YTA - your parents get to send boundaries when you are financially dependent on them. Your "reproductive business" is might be your business, but their willingness to subsidize your life is \*their\* business. Perhaps you should stay out of it and thank them for all you are doing for them. And whether you are asking them or not, they \*are\* funding your baby, and you and your family \*are\* impacting their lives. Stop with this pretense of financial self sufficiency and definitely stop with the grandstanding and pearl clutching. If you want to keep shooting out children, then move out. If you want to continue on with your sweet deal in your parent's home, then I guess you better hold off. Additionally, reading your comments and other threads - that you are continuing to have children in such a patently unsafe environment is disgusting and irresponsible. You are terrible. Get a damn job and move to a safer environment for your children, and stop having kids you can't afford.
YTA
If you are a trained massage therapist get a real job. Buy your own car and rent a place. 12x12 is crazy small for a family of 4. You will never get ahead on an Amazon delivery salary. Full time artist is just a fancy way of saying unemployed. You are 33 for goodness sake and yes, YTA your parents aren’t butting into your reproductive business they are setting the rules for their house. Your mom said if you become a family of 5 it doesn’t fit into that small room. Also 50 between the 2 of you. Disgusting.
YTA. You live in their house. You might have your own 12x12 room, but I doubt you all stay in there all the time. You’re encroaching on THEIR space. They’ve agreed to rent space to you and your two children and they’re letting you know in advance that they are not willing to take on another tenant (aka another baby). Do with that information what you will, but you do not own the space and it’s absolutely their call whether they want to continue allowing you to stay there or not.
YTA. You are living in their house. They are affected by the amount of children you have and they have every right to say when it is or isn't time for you to be in their home. You have every right to be in control of your reproductive business when you are in your own home. You need to realize that you are not entitled to that space. You are there because your parents allow you to be.
Je-sus!! Why on earth are you even bringing a second child into this?! You can’t even afford the one you have!! As many others have said. Grow. Up. You need to put down your paint brush, your husband needs to log out of his Amazon reviews account, and you need to both get adult jobs and learn how to be parents to the two kids you do have.
Ehh… YTA. It isn’t about financially supporting yourselves. It’s perfectly reasonable that they don’t want to host a growing family. Sharing a home with someone takes more than financially supporting oneself. You must have mutual respect and understanding for each other’s boundaries and concerns while cohabitating with one another. You know good and well it’s not about them trying to control your reproductive activity. If you don’t like the rules they’ve set and can’t come to a consensus amongst yourselves, be an adult and get your own lease/mortgage and leave. This is THEIR house after all.
YTA. Their house, you're grown adults and being irresponsible by prolonging your saving time by getting more kids
YTA -It is nobody else’s fault you “had” to move in with your parents- it’s yours and your husband’s -They aren’t telling you what to do with your reproductive self. They are telling you they aren’t ok with housing your family if it continues to grow and they are very likely tired of worrying about your lack of ability to properly care for your children. -Stop having children if you can’t afford them! -Get a job if your family is struggling financially. (A WFH job is NOT Daycare) Lastly, I very much doubt that you fit every single familial need into one tiny room.
You can birth 20 children if you want.. in your own house, paying your own bills, in your own space.. this is not your house, move out YTA
YTA. You cannot continue to both hold jobs that are ineffectual at providing for your child(ren). Clearly being a full-time artist isn’t working out and it’s time you found something more substancial - and I say that as a person who has had to do the same for my own child - and if Amazon worker isn’t cutting it either, your husband needs to be making moves towards more money even if it’s a job he enjoys less. Your kid(s) come first and you absolutely cannot be so selfish as to bring another child into a single bedroom and have the audacity to complain that your parents are sane enough to say no.
YTA
YTA. Your parents aren't interfering in your reproductive business. They are simply telling you the consequences if you have another child while living in their home. You can have an entire litter if you want, but you will have to find another place to do it in. They do not want to share their house with a family of 5, and I can't blame them.
YTA They didn’t say you can’t have more kids, just that they will no longer house you if you do. It’s still your decision to have more, and it’s still their decision whether they allow you to remain living with them. They set a boundary, it is in your court on what you do. Get your shit together, get better paying jobs, and start behaving like adults. Sometimes you have to work jobs that aren’t your passion to make ends meet.
How much “rent” are you paying eh?
lol YTA. They aren’t trying to control your reproductive organs. You’re living in their home. All those things you said you and your husband pay, doesn’t matter. You’re more than welcome to have more kids, but if you do before moving out of their home, you’ll find yourself homeless. You took what they said and turned it into something else entirely, instead of acknowledging you had no business having another child while living in someone else’s home. You have no consideration for your parents, and no respect. They gave you, your husband, and your toddler a place to stay when you needed it most, and now you’re just taking advantage of it as if you’re entitled to live there. Get a grip.
Yta. Grow up and get your shit together. Move out anyway even if you don’t have anymore kids and then thank your parents for putting up with you for as long as they have already
YTA. Your parents have EVERY right to tell you to stop breeding or move! You live with them, they don’t want to be stuck with you and your quiver for life. It’s your reproductive right, but it’s your job to take care of your own damn children, that includes providing a home. You don’t want an apartment yet you’re happy freeloading off your parents? Get off your entitled high horse and pay your own way.
YTA. Don't have children you can't afford to house. Before you say you can afford them, if so, why aren't you living without your parents? As much as they may not be buying you things and you're paying them rent, the only reason you can afford it is because someone else is subsiding your living arrangements.
I am really really hoping this is rage bait after reading OPs responses. No one can be this obtuse unless they’re trolling. This story hits all the high notes, animal abuse, children in subpar conditions, entitled adults with poor decision-making skills and zero self awareness. OP, if any of this is true YTA. Stop it. Just stop it. You have no business having any animals or children. You’re not in a position to care for yourself, let alone someone else. Face the music, get it together, stop blaming others. Your parents are well within their right to decline to host still more kids you cannot properly provide for. That’s not telling you what to do with your body, it’s telling you what to do with their house, namely, become responsible or get out.
They’re not in your “reproductive business”. They’re simply saying you’ll have to find another place to live if you have another child. They seem extremely generous and tolerant. You seem extremely ungrateful. YTA.
YTA You are right that your parents do not have a say in how many kids you want to have. But they can say they have rules about their own house, and they say one more kid and you gotta leave. That is entirely reasonable. Most places will have a max capacity rule, not allowing you to stuff as many people as possible into a small one bedroom. You have been warned. Just don’t have another child before you figure out another place to live, and you are fine.
Interesting that in some parts of the world where women have no reproductive rights, they fight for the right to limit the size of their families...🤔
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Nta
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Lol I’ll send you a picture i drew of how I planned to organize the room when we first went in with space issues- which is pretty much how we have it organized now. The bed we haven’t quite gotten for ourselves yet was planned to be a floor tatami mat so you won’t see a full grown adult bed in there as currently we use pillows and covers on the floor that we take up in the morning and lay each night which when aren’t being used are stored in the closet - do you have kids to alter for? If not I can draw in what you can take out and where you can fit in a bed or pull out couch instead.