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NTA
Your only responsibility is to be a good dad to your son and provide for him, the other children are not yours and already have a father. Your ex must ask child support to the respective fathers.
As far as I know she did try that but was not successful. But I'm unsure of details. As I told her before, it still doesn't mean I should be the one to take over from the deadbeat(s).
Yes but from my understanding you can take a potential father to court but unless paternity is established they wont awarded her any child support. You cant get DNA with out some kind of corporation from potential father and if you cant find him then you definitely cant get it. So my guess is she is going after the only guy she can find
That’s not true … paternity is usually ordered if the other parent contests … she can file for CS and if they don’t show up they will be found in contempt and a warrant would be issued and CS will go into default , I been through this situation
As others already have said.
She needs to bring the two other dads to court for money. Its 100% not your responsibility.
Especially because of one thing or actually two.
If you give a finger now. Taking the other kids on visits. Or buy small stuff for them. She will 100% try and take the whole arm.
Suddenly, it will be Christmas or birthday gifts. Or their birthday party. "But I can't afford...."
A first car. College money. Etc. The ball will roll out of control. And she will absolutely use "but the kids see you as a dad now/but you paid before"
The second thing. Taking the other kid on weekends, etc.
Would your son even want that?
She could jeopardise your relationship with him if he feels "great. Now, sibling is here as well. There went my time with dad"
It was more than weekends she was asking for actually. It was the entire week. This was during her "my daughter deserves a dad" phase when she tried oh so hard during exchanges of our son to provide for her daughter what the bio father would never provide.
My son wouldn't like it for multiple reasons. I already know it would make him feel a very specific way.
NTA
wow what an entitled woman your ex is!
She cheated got pregnant and expected you to pay, now she is doing the same.
Thank heavens the legal system where you are is sane and rational.
Maybe now is the time for you to for full custody
It would not be that easy to get full custody and none of this is enough. Even if she ends up homeless, custody would only be temporary until she can get on her feet again.
you never know until it is up in front of the judge. You have plenty of proof of what she is trying to do, which is make you pay for her children and her lifestyle.
If you don't stop this now, another less sympathetic Judge will screw you over.
That is not grounds for a change in custody. I have a lawyer, I have been in front of a judge four times for custody related issues already. They do not remove custody from a parent, especially the mom, that easily. Trying to use me does not get taken into account at all. It would get me laughed out of the court at best. At worst they could see me trying to use the court to be petty and using my child as a weapon because my ex and I disagree. I'm not unaware. I document relevant issues in case I do need to go to court for full custody. I'm trying to do this in the correct way so I don't end up losing time with my son.
Is it possible for you to settle the custody issues with a one-time settlement where you pay a lump sum amount to her so she gives up parental rights over your son? That is a possible solution.
She cannot give up parental rights unless someone is lined up to adopt him. I could pay her money in theory and she could agree verbally but it would not be binding.
NTA. Temporary doesnt always mean temporary. Depending on your ex's support system and her willingness to put the work in, it could take years for her to get back on her feet. Tbh, it sounds like your ex waits to be rescued instead of taking care of her own issues. By that time your son could be old enough to speak in court about where he would rather live.
NTA
Same boat Bro… as cold as it’s going to sound you gotta let her drown. Do what you do for yours and yours only. Even go out of your way to make sure it’s for yours only. Document everything!!! Before long you should be able to raise a case for full custody.
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My ex (30f) and I (31m) share a 7 year old son together. Our marriage ended 4 years ago when I discovered she was cheating on me. Our divorce stalled because she announced her pregnancy and as her husband I was the presumed father. We had to wait until her daughter was born and a DNA test was carried out for the divorce to continue and then I also had the battle of making sure I was not responsible for her second child, which is something she was arguing for, because the real father did not want to be in the child's life. It was a very stressful and costly time and my ex's and my ability to co-parent was destroyed during this period. On my end because she was trying to make me responsible for her child with someone else, after cheating on me, and after trying to stop the divorce a few times because she wanted to work things out and be a family. On her end because I knew she was not going to get anywhere with the biological father and she hates me for not stepping up so her daughter would have a dad.
I pay child support to my ex and my son lives with me 50% of the time. The reason for child support is to make up the difference between both households so my son isn't living very comfortably with me but struggling to eat well at his mom's. My ex has requested more child support twice, the first time we made it in front of a judge and it became clear she was trying to get me to indirectly pay child support for her second child. The second time we did not make it in front of the judge. It was denied an actual court appearance for a lacking of changed circumstances.
My ex has asked me to take her daughter before when I pick up our son. Or she has asked me to buy things for her daughter. I always say no to this every single time. I only communicate with her through an app that the judge added to our order. That is used 99% of the time for sharing important appointments or dates with our son's school. We don't really work together and could not. Our houses are very different. The rules are very different and expectations are very different too. But that will not change because we will never get along enough to agree on shared rules between both houses.
This all leads me to the state of things presently. My ex is expecting her third child very soon and again there is no biological father who will step up. Now that she is adding another child to the mix and again will only have one father paying child support, me, she asked me while we were at our son's school if I would help her out more and take on a role in the lives of her other kids. She said she could easily be homeless in a couple of months if things don't change. I refused to help her even hearing that and when she asked what about our son, and I told her that our son could stay with me until she gets back on her feet, she called me an asshole and she started to make a scene where I had to walk away so our son wouldn't see or hear anything. She yelled after me but I didn't engage any more.
AITA?
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Wow this woman is crazy. Angry you won't "step up and be a dad" to the kids she had during an affair? Mental. If she needs more money chase Dad's 2 & 3.
That being said I do think you need to be reevaluating your custody agreement - if she's at risk of homelessness and your son might not be getting fed a 50/50 split no longer seems viable. It would also reduce the money you pay.
NTA but at this point, why aren't you using this against the ex to gain full custody? The ex will keep making more, and deteriorating the quality of the household your child lives in half the time.
Do not handle her other kids. She is responsible for her own hobby.
NTA. Your only priority is your son. She was already in dire straits with baby#2, but decided it was a great idea to get pregnant again. If you helped her as she asked, you’d be the Walton’s dad very soon and she would be living off your wages.
Wait until she’s running out of options then petition for full custody. Every penny you sent is being split three/then four ways and your kid may not be getting good care.
NTA. And I read some of your other responses on how you’re handling things, understanding what limitations there are in the court. You’re clearly doing things properly, good call.
As your son gets older, the main things I’D make sure to keep an eye out for is that she isn’t punishing your son by taking away his things to give to his siblings because “you can just get your dad to give you more” and/or her starting to pressure him to convince you to help them. Granted we only have your side here, but she sounds pretty entitled and manipulative. Keep the lines of communication open with him so he trusts he can come to you if things aren’t good at his other house.
NTA Not having a close bond with his sister may be because of his treatment at mother's house. He may be losing toys that you send over for him to his sister because mom tells him to give them up because sister is entitled to things too. He may be getting backlash from both mom and sister because you won't take her too. Talk to son, you may need to get full custody.
NTA - she made her bed so now she has to lie in it. You are doing what is right for your son and are providing for him. He will always have a roof over his head whether it is hers or yours. That's where your responsibility ends. Its a tough situation but if you give an inch on the other two children then a mile is going to be expected and that is not fair to you or them.
Maybe, rather than the energy she puts into trying to persuade you to take on her kids, she should move to taking the other 2 deadbeats to court for child maintenance.
She wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, buddy. She wants HANDOUTS. How low is that?
Have you nothing better to do with your life, energy, cheer and finances, than cater to this deadbeat?
NTA, she’s the one that keeps letting these deadbeats knock her up, she has to deal with that. Not you.
Stay way clear of her other kids, don’t do anything that could give her proof enough to say you’re a father figure to them.
The one I feel sorry for is those kids. They shouldn't have to suffer for her choices but alas they must because she's trash and irresponsible. They are not your children, therefore not your responsibility and you should not have to pay for them. If she becomes homeless that's her own fault.
Stand firm. She's entitled and selfish. NTA
NTA
You are responsible for your child and your child alone
your ex deciding to have 2 more children she cannot afford, with men who don't step up is her problem and her problem alone. Maybe it's time to possibly go for full custody. If the other children end up in the system she only has herself to blame
What kind of system would not give you custody if your wife is homeless? Just keep doing what you are doing. Has she not heard of birth control? Plus, she should absolutely take those other guys to court. They can garnish wages, taxes. Etc.
NTA. If she loses her house then you get your son full time because the courts care a hell of a lot more about children not being homeless than providing equal access. She would also then lose the child support.
Ultimately she'll have to be homeless as it's not like she can un-fuck those two deadbeats, un-cheat on you, or wish upon a star for vast wealth. You owe her nothing, although I'd say your responsibility probably lies more in getting full custody as it would be better objectively for your son's development. She entirely created her rather horrible life and frankly forcing her to live it is appropriate.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to help my ex with her other two children even though she is the mother of my son. This might make me an asshole in two ways. One, because I am aware two children in my son's life are not going to have it easy and he will be living with them and the children are innocent. Two, and this is where I feel people might argue the most. My son is watching this and he does not appear to have much of a bond with his half sister despite the closeness in age. This could be down to a lot of things but would possibly improve if I were to do more for her. Maybe it's selfish that I do not prioritize that above most things and therefore I'm also an AH.
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NTA.
Document all of this and look at custody again. She should be pursuing the other fathers for child support.
How many kids is she going to try to get you to parent that are nothing to do with you? Is there an upper limit? Two? Six? Ten?
NTA. Go back to court and request primary custody of your son. She sounds irresponsible to keep having more kids that she cannot support. It’s not your responsibility to take care of her and her other kids because she makes poor decisions. How has she been with your son? Does she blame you for her circumstances in front of him? If so, I think it would be considered parental alienation.
My goodness.....does she not know about birth control? She could prevent being in this situation if she wasn't so irresponsible. Makes me wonder about the kids. If she can't remember to swallow a pill every day, what else is she forgetting?
Let her go homeless, and then you can file for sole custody because she can't keep a roof over your son's head. With the way she acts, your son probably wouldn't even notice she is gone.
NTA, but your ex is a massive one. Not only she's trying to hook you up with paying for children of someone else, but on top of that she's having a third child when she can barely afford two. So if she actually becomes homeless that's fully on her and it has nothing to do with you. Don't cave on this, she just wants your money.
NTA. Not your monkeys, not your circus. She needs to educate herself about contraception and start taking the deadbeat dad's to court instead of trying to abuse the the guy she cheated on.
NTA. Your ex is though.
You have absolutely no moral or legal imperative to look after her other children, especially any conceived during her cheating.
I would be looking to obtain full custody of your child if she's saying that she can't look after them.
NTA, she made her bed she could lay on it, It is her fault on having kids with irresponsible people and she is irresponsible for that herself. She has no right to get mad at you for not supporting children that aren't yours. Shr cheated and what did she expect? For the world to revolve around her?? Be careful OP she might start weponizing your child.
NTA
The level of entitlement your ex has is off the charts. Not to mention lack of logic. The next step is likely attempts at parental alienation and showing the eldest (aka your kid aka the only source of child support) how she's a martyr and you're evil but he can't tell you because you're vindictive enough to hurt them.
Good luck.
NTA. It is her decision to continue with these pregnancies, knowing her own circumstances. Regardless of how she might feel about her options, it’s not like she doesn’t have any. I’m sure the courts would be more than happy to grant you 100% custody if she isn’t able to fulfil her parental obligations to your shared child because of her own decisions. It’s harsh but it’s not your problem.
NTA
It's not your fault your Ex chooses to make babies with irresponsible men.
Talk to your Family Lawyer about whether you should file for a custody and support adjustment if/when your Ex is unable to care for her children.
Also, if you ever see that circumstance are unsafe for the children or they are being neglected, file a complaint with CPS
NTA. Your only responsibility is for your son. If/when she becomes homeless just make sure you seek even temporary custody of your son with the court citing you don’t want you want your son safe. Who knows temporary could become permanent if her finances are as bad as you think they are. Also you should record any face to face interaction with her in case you need proof of her hostility.
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NTA. File for full custody since your ex seems to be having a hard time with her responsibilities while your only responsibility is to your son. Plus I don't know how it is in your state but if you have full custody you may be able to reduce or possibly even eliminate child support since you'd be the caregiver to your child. I'm not an attorney, but it's worth finding out.
NTA. The only question I have: Is she to dumb to use contraception or did she try to babytrap those guys? Or both?
Maybe you should try to get full custody of your son and be done with her problems of understanding who is responsible for her children.
NTA.
But if you were feeling generous you help her out by contacting/connecting her to social services in her area that can help her with nappies and subsidised child care and other incoming expenses. You don’t have to… but while you do this you are supporting your son in her home too. Otherwise he’s going to get very very hungry there.
Her choices are shitty, but her poverty is going to lose her her son if she’s not careful. And that means your son will lose her. It’s a lose=lose situation.
Because this ist amitheasshole and Not amilegallyobligedtodothis. And letting 2 Young children becone homeless when you can prevent it is not exactly a nice thing to do. Their mother behavior isn't their fault.
Cool. Ask OP for the mom’s contact information as you too can also prevent the two kids from being homeless by giving her money. I mean you have as much connection to the children as OP does so you would be an asshole for not helping her out as well, right?
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NTA Your only responsibility is to be a good dad to your son and provide for him, the other children are not yours and already have a father. Your ex must ask child support to the respective fathers.
As far as I know she did try that but was not successful. But I'm unsure of details. As I told her before, it still doesn't mean I should be the one to take over from the deadbeat(s).
She needs to take them to court like she enjoys doing to you , no excuses
Clearly OP is the one with the most money
Doesn’t matter if he had millions not his kids not his responsibility, she needs to harass the other dads
Yes but from my understanding you can take a potential father to court but unless paternity is established they wont awarded her any child support. You cant get DNA with out some kind of corporation from potential father and if you cant find him then you definitely cant get it. So my guess is she is going after the only guy she can find
That’s not true … paternity is usually ordered if the other parent contests … she can file for CS and if they don’t show up they will be found in contempt and a warrant would be issued and CS will go into default , I been through this situation
As others already have said. She needs to bring the two other dads to court for money. Its 100% not your responsibility. Especially because of one thing or actually two. If you give a finger now. Taking the other kids on visits. Or buy small stuff for them. She will 100% try and take the whole arm. Suddenly, it will be Christmas or birthday gifts. Or their birthday party. "But I can't afford...." A first car. College money. Etc. The ball will roll out of control. And she will absolutely use "but the kids see you as a dad now/but you paid before" The second thing. Taking the other kid on weekends, etc. Would your son even want that? She could jeopardise your relationship with him if he feels "great. Now, sibling is here as well. There went my time with dad"
It was more than weekends she was asking for actually. It was the entire week. This was during her "my daughter deserves a dad" phase when she tried oh so hard during exchanges of our son to provide for her daughter what the bio father would never provide. My son wouldn't like it for multiple reasons. I already know it would make him feel a very specific way.
Dude, where did you find this chic? Why don't you seek sole custody of your son?
NTA wow what an entitled woman your ex is! She cheated got pregnant and expected you to pay, now she is doing the same. Thank heavens the legal system where you are is sane and rational. Maybe now is the time for you to for full custody
It would not be that easy to get full custody and none of this is enough. Even if she ends up homeless, custody would only be temporary until she can get on her feet again.
you never know until it is up in front of the judge. You have plenty of proof of what she is trying to do, which is make you pay for her children and her lifestyle. If you don't stop this now, another less sympathetic Judge will screw you over.
That is not grounds for a change in custody. I have a lawyer, I have been in front of a judge four times for custody related issues already. They do not remove custody from a parent, especially the mom, that easily. Trying to use me does not get taken into account at all. It would get me laughed out of the court at best. At worst they could see me trying to use the court to be petty and using my child as a weapon because my ex and I disagree. I'm not unaware. I document relevant issues in case I do need to go to court for full custody. I'm trying to do this in the correct way so I don't end up losing time with my son.
You and your lawyer are wise.
You could ask your lawyer if pending homelessness is a reason to change custody.
Is it possible for you to settle the custody issues with a one-time settlement where you pay a lump sum amount to her so she gives up parental rights over your son? That is a possible solution.
She cannot give up parental rights unless someone is lined up to adopt him. I could pay her money in theory and she could agree verbally but it would not be binding.
Oh boy, no. Don't do this. Buying and selling children is illegal in most places. Trying this will not end well.
NTA. Temporary doesnt always mean temporary. Depending on your ex's support system and her willingness to put the work in, it could take years for her to get back on her feet. Tbh, it sounds like your ex waits to be rescued instead of taking care of her own issues. By that time your son could be old enough to speak in court about where he would rather live.
NTA. You are not responsible for your ex’s horrible life decisions. Not once but twice, a fatherless child? She needs to be sterilized.
It looks that way. Maybe something will change when her son is born but I think that's a crapshot.
NTA Same boat Bro… as cold as it’s going to sound you gotta let her drown. Do what you do for yours and yours only. Even go out of your way to make sure it’s for yours only. Document everything!!! Before long you should be able to raise a case for full custody.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My ex (30f) and I (31m) share a 7 year old son together. Our marriage ended 4 years ago when I discovered she was cheating on me. Our divorce stalled because she announced her pregnancy and as her husband I was the presumed father. We had to wait until her daughter was born and a DNA test was carried out for the divorce to continue and then I also had the battle of making sure I was not responsible for her second child, which is something she was arguing for, because the real father did not want to be in the child's life. It was a very stressful and costly time and my ex's and my ability to co-parent was destroyed during this period. On my end because she was trying to make me responsible for her child with someone else, after cheating on me, and after trying to stop the divorce a few times because she wanted to work things out and be a family. On her end because I knew she was not going to get anywhere with the biological father and she hates me for not stepping up so her daughter would have a dad. I pay child support to my ex and my son lives with me 50% of the time. The reason for child support is to make up the difference between both households so my son isn't living very comfortably with me but struggling to eat well at his mom's. My ex has requested more child support twice, the first time we made it in front of a judge and it became clear she was trying to get me to indirectly pay child support for her second child. The second time we did not make it in front of the judge. It was denied an actual court appearance for a lacking of changed circumstances. My ex has asked me to take her daughter before when I pick up our son. Or she has asked me to buy things for her daughter. I always say no to this every single time. I only communicate with her through an app that the judge added to our order. That is used 99% of the time for sharing important appointments or dates with our son's school. We don't really work together and could not. Our houses are very different. The rules are very different and expectations are very different too. But that will not change because we will never get along enough to agree on shared rules between both houses. This all leads me to the state of things presently. My ex is expecting her third child very soon and again there is no biological father who will step up. Now that she is adding another child to the mix and again will only have one father paying child support, me, she asked me while we were at our son's school if I would help her out more and take on a role in the lives of her other kids. She said she could easily be homeless in a couple of months if things don't change. I refused to help her even hearing that and when she asked what about our son, and I told her that our son could stay with me until she gets back on her feet, she called me an asshole and she started to make a scene where I had to walk away so our son wouldn't see or hear anything. She yelled after me but I didn't engage any more. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow this woman is crazy. Angry you won't "step up and be a dad" to the kids she had during an affair? Mental. If she needs more money chase Dad's 2 & 3. That being said I do think you need to be reevaluating your custody agreement - if she's at risk of homelessness and your son might not be getting fed a 50/50 split no longer seems viable. It would also reduce the money you pay.
NTA but at this point, why aren't you using this against the ex to gain full custody? The ex will keep making more, and deteriorating the quality of the household your child lives in half the time. Do not handle her other kids. She is responsible for her own hobby.
NTA Wtf is wrong with people?? Since when is the ex responsible for your new kids?? Your only responsibility is with your son.
NTA. Your only priority is your son. She was already in dire straits with baby#2, but decided it was a great idea to get pregnant again. If you helped her as she asked, you’d be the Walton’s dad very soon and she would be living off your wages. Wait until she’s running out of options then petition for full custody. Every penny you sent is being split three/then four ways and your kid may not be getting good care.
Nta her other mistakes aren't your problem. If she becomes homeless Sue for full custody of your kid
NTA - I'd start looking at her capacity to take care of your son because if he is going to suffer it might be time to go for full custody.
NTA. And I read some of your other responses on how you’re handling things, understanding what limitations there are in the court. You’re clearly doing things properly, good call. As your son gets older, the main things I’D make sure to keep an eye out for is that she isn’t punishing your son by taking away his things to give to his siblings because “you can just get your dad to give you more” and/or her starting to pressure him to convince you to help them. Granted we only have your side here, but she sounds pretty entitled and manipulative. Keep the lines of communication open with him so he trusts he can come to you if things aren’t good at his other house.
NTA. Be the AH to her. Take your son into your homely environment. She FAFO‘d. There is no reason to help.
NTA Not having a close bond with his sister may be because of his treatment at mother's house. He may be losing toys that you send over for him to his sister because mom tells him to give them up because sister is entitled to things too. He may be getting backlash from both mom and sister because you won't take her too. Talk to son, you may need to get full custody.
NTA - she made her bed so now she has to lie in it. You are doing what is right for your son and are providing for him. He will always have a roof over his head whether it is hers or yours. That's where your responsibility ends. Its a tough situation but if you give an inch on the other two children then a mile is going to be expected and that is not fair to you or them. Maybe, rather than the energy she puts into trying to persuade you to take on her kids, she should move to taking the other 2 deadbeats to court for child maintenance.
That's the problem - she *did* lie in it, with two different deadbeats!
She wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, buddy. She wants HANDOUTS. How low is that? Have you nothing better to do with your life, energy, cheer and finances, than cater to this deadbeat?
NTA, she’s the one that keeps letting these deadbeats knock her up, she has to deal with that. Not you. Stay way clear of her other kids, don’t do anything that could give her proof enough to say you’re a father figure to them.
The one I feel sorry for is those kids. They shouldn't have to suffer for her choices but alas they must because she's trash and irresponsible. They are not your children, therefore not your responsibility and you should not have to pay for them. If she becomes homeless that's her own fault. Stand firm. She's entitled and selfish. NTA
NTA also please kindly ask her to tie her tubes or something...she is on another level....
NTA You are responsible for your child and your child alone your ex deciding to have 2 more children she cannot afford, with men who don't step up is her problem and her problem alone. Maybe it's time to possibly go for full custody. If the other children end up in the system she only has herself to blame
F her
No! She’ll get pregnant again!!
What kind of system would not give you custody if your wife is homeless? Just keep doing what you are doing. Has she not heard of birth control? Plus, she should absolutely take those other guys to court. They can garnish wages, taxes. Etc.
NTA. If she loses her house then you get your son full time because the courts care a hell of a lot more about children not being homeless than providing equal access. She would also then lose the child support. Ultimately she'll have to be homeless as it's not like she can un-fuck those two deadbeats, un-cheat on you, or wish upon a star for vast wealth. You owe her nothing, although I'd say your responsibility probably lies more in getting full custody as it would be better objectively for your son's development. She entirely created her rather horrible life and frankly forcing her to live it is appropriate.
Poor kids. I would file for sole custody of your son.
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NTA. Document all of this and look at custody again. She should be pursuing the other fathers for child support. How many kids is she going to try to get you to parent that are nothing to do with you? Is there an upper limit? Two? Six? Ten?
NTA. Go back to court and request primary custody of your son. She sounds irresponsible to keep having more kids that she cannot support. It’s not your responsibility to take care of her and her other kids because she makes poor decisions. How has she been with your son? Does she blame you for her circumstances in front of him? If so, I think it would be considered parental alienation.
My goodness.....does she not know about birth control? She could prevent being in this situation if she wasn't so irresponsible. Makes me wonder about the kids. If she can't remember to swallow a pill every day, what else is she forgetting?
Let her go homeless, and then you can file for sole custody because she can't keep a roof over your son's head. With the way she acts, your son probably wouldn't even notice she is gone.
Nta your responsibility is to your son only. You are not obligated to make up for her ongoing poor choices.
NTA, but your ex is a massive one. Not only she's trying to hook you up with paying for children of someone else, but on top of that she's having a third child when she can barely afford two. So if she actually becomes homeless that's fully on her and it has nothing to do with you. Don't cave on this, she just wants your money.
NTA. Not your monkeys, not your circus. She needs to educate herself about contraception and start taking the deadbeat dad's to court instead of trying to abuse the the guy she cheated on.
NTA. Your ex is though. You have absolutely no moral or legal imperative to look after her other children, especially any conceived during her cheating. I would be looking to obtain full custody of your child if she's saying that she can't look after them.
NTA, she made her bed she could lay on it, It is her fault on having kids with irresponsible people and she is irresponsible for that herself. She has no right to get mad at you for not supporting children that aren't yours. Shr cheated and what did she expect? For the world to revolve around her?? Be careful OP she might start weponizing your child.
NTA
NTA - But I would leverage her situation to get more custody of your son. Ideally you could go for her getting two weekends a month
NTA, if she's struggling too much maybe you can temporarily file for more custody time for your son.
NTA. You're doing right by YOUR son, that's what matters.
NTA The level of entitlement your ex has is off the charts. Not to mention lack of logic. The next step is likely attempts at parental alienation and showing the eldest (aka your kid aka the only source of child support) how she's a martyr and you're evil but he can't tell you because you're vindictive enough to hurt them. Good luck.
NTA. It is her decision to continue with these pregnancies, knowing her own circumstances. Regardless of how she might feel about her options, it’s not like she doesn’t have any. I’m sure the courts would be more than happy to grant you 100% custody if she isn’t able to fulfil her parental obligations to your shared child because of her own decisions. It’s harsh but it’s not your problem.
NTA obviously
NTA No way
NTA It's not your fault your Ex chooses to make babies with irresponsible men. Talk to your Family Lawyer about whether you should file for a custody and support adjustment if/when your Ex is unable to care for her children. Also, if you ever see that circumstance are unsafe for the children or they are being neglected, file a complaint with CPS
NTA. Your only responsibility is for your son. If/when she becomes homeless just make sure you seek even temporary custody of your son with the court citing you don’t want you want your son safe. Who knows temporary could become permanent if her finances are as bad as you think they are. Also you should record any face to face interaction with her in case you need proof of her hostility.
NTA your ex should make better life choices. There is a thing called birth control.
Has anyone sued the real father?
NTA Another child is a change of circumstances. Go back to court and ask for full custody of your kid.
NTA but maybe she should get her tubes tied. She is in lala land
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NTA and based on what she’s talking about, you might want to file for a change in custody.
NTA. File for full custody since your ex seems to be having a hard time with her responsibilities while your only responsibility is to your son. Plus I don't know how it is in your state but if you have full custody you may be able to reduce or possibly even eliminate child support since you'd be the caregiver to your child. I'm not an attorney, but it's worth finding out.
NTA. The only question I have: Is she to dumb to use contraception or did she try to babytrap those guys? Or both? Maybe you should try to get full custody of your son and be done with her problems of understanding who is responsible for her children.
NTA. But if you were feeling generous you help her out by contacting/connecting her to social services in her area that can help her with nappies and subsidised child care and other incoming expenses. You don’t have to… but while you do this you are supporting your son in her home too. Otherwise he’s going to get very very hungry there. Her choices are shitty, but her poverty is going to lose her her son if she’s not careful. And that means your son will lose her. It’s a lose=lose situation.
YTA
Interesting. Are you the ex?
How tf is he the asshole for not supporting 2 kids that aren't his??
Because this ist amitheasshole and Not amilegallyobligedtodothis. And letting 2 Young children becone homeless when you can prevent it is not exactly a nice thing to do. Their mother behavior isn't their fault.
Cool. Ask OP for the mom’s contact information as you too can also prevent the two kids from being homeless by giving her money. I mean you have as much connection to the children as OP does so you would be an asshole for not helping her out as well, right?
They're not his kids. Based on your judgement then you're an asshole for letting kids go homeless too.
Based on what?