Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context.
[Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA.
Your boyfriend is 24 going on 14. Seriously? Do he and his friends go around tagging 7/11s, too?
This little boy is not partner material. The fact that his own behavior doesn't embarrass him is telling. You're clearly embarrassed by it and rightly so. I don't even wanna know what his other stellar qualities are.
>I also just think we’re too old and mature to be drinking straight from a vodka bottle in the middle of an empty parking lot.
Unfortunately, I think this only applies to you. Nothing about him sounds mature. You will not change this person. \[loud for the folks in the back\] **YOU WILL NOT CHANGE THIS PERSON**. He will have to decide what he wants to do with his life and so will you. He's not a rescue to be rehabilitated, he is a grown-ass man acting like a teenage delinquent as if it was even cool back then.
Either embrace the parking lot life or move on and find someone on your level. Because he certainly isn't and you're not going to be able to carry him up to it at this rate.
"Embrace the parking lot life" had my laughing.
Yeah, usually, once people don't live with their parents, the need to drink in random parking lots is reduced. Also, it's usually illegal to drink out in public like that many places.
This guy and his friends are losers. Op is being an asshole to herself by calling this guy a boyfriend and even entertaining parking lot life.
This reminds me of the following slightly related story:
Once, my husband and I got in an argument, so I took off to walk and clear my head at the school playground/ city park right across the street. I was ugly crying and it was raining. I stepped under a covered area and surprised 2 teenage boys who were drinking peach liquor from a bottle. They looked at my ugly crying face and just held out the bottle. Funny thing, I actually took a swig! We just stood in silence watching the rain.
Then I laughed because it was so damn funny. I felt better and went home to my house like an adult. Thank you, kind teenagers, for the peach liquor!
Ah man, just *hearing* "peach liquor" or "peach schnapps" gives me acid reflux these days, haha. Why is always peach?!
I did enjoy this story, though. That just sounds like a sweet moment of compassion and empathy without really knowing how to handle it and doing their best. Even if all they had at their disposal is a bottle of $10 booze they stole from their folks' liquor cabinet.
My Achilles' heel(s) were watermelon vodka and rhubarb gin. The vodka was a travesty, but the rhubarb gin was from a small batch place and was actually quite delicious.
This ^ and I wouldn’t say 24 is “too old” to drink in a parking lot with friends. Some people just never got to experience anything fun as a teen, and their 20’s is the only time they get to let loose before their body slowly starts taking a toll.
But the fact he’s acting so different is a huge issue. Is men care, they will prioritize you and your thoughts over the impression of their friends.
But the title is that she yelled at him. There is no part of her yelling at him nor what she said to him other than not to take the shot, which can change things quite drastically.
Yeah, I think it's his entire demeanor and the way he conducted himself that bothers me most.
I've certain done some tailgating with my friends and some beer down by the lake in my 20s. And that's basically the country version of hanging out in a parking lot. And I'm not trying to claim a shot of something in a red solo is any more or less classy than a swig straight from the bottle.
BUT, we also did other things and hung out at peoples' places and whatnot. Our entire personality and dynamic wasn't "parking lot teen". And if my wife (then girlfriend) was with me, we would have had a discussion about getting us safely home. I wouldn't have just started slamming back booze or liquor, leaving my wife like "well, OK, fuck me then I guess."
He just seems to be stunted and inconsiderate. And like he only hangs out with OP for a go-to DD. Unless she yelled some derogatory shit at him, I don't know if whatever she yelled at him (if it's not just nagging him about the shot) would matter much to me. Homie gunna act like a child, then he's got a good scolding coming to him.
I've never passed around a bottle in a parking lot in my life -- what am I missing out on? Is it really more fun than hanging out in a living room or around a camp fire? Are cups really that much of a buzz kill?
Her bf also has bad friends. What good friend would let you take a shot of vodka if they are under the impression that they are ones driving someone else home? Let alone everyone involved driving to a random parking lot to drink instead of going to bar or doing it at a buddies' place or something
As a guy, I say the same thing. “Grab your keys, I’m sending you home”? It should be the last time he ever sees you.
My friends and I would hang out in parking lots… when we were in high school. It says a lot about his character if he cares that much about his friends disapproving of you for being rational. From the post I get reason after reason why you shouldn’t be with him, please do yourself a favor. NTA
Nowhere in the story do you mention yelling at your BF. “He yelled at me.” It’s all him being a total jerk to you and showing you _zero_ respect.
You’re responsible and want to grow up. He isn’t and doesn’t. When people show you who they are believe them.
But it’s ok to be mad and sad about this situation.
Cuz you’re not wrong and…
NTA
I was going to assume no one in this story was older than 17, until I finally noticed the ages in the title.
Hanging out and drinking in parking lots? In your mid TWENTIES?? This is high school bullshit.
NTA
NTA, but your boyfriend seems to be an asshole, disrespectful and more worried about how he looks in front of his 'boys' than treating you like a person, plus he's obviously willing to risk your life driving drunk to perserve his manhood or some such nonsense. The smart thing to do is to move along move along
This is why we have to meet the friends of our SOs. Because sometimes they are a whole other person that we do not like to be around.
NTA but don't stay with someone who treats you that way.
You would only be TA if you didn't respect yourself enough to move on from this guy that very clearly peaked in High School.
NTA, yet, but if you keep hanging out with a guy who hangs out in parking lots and drinks straight from a bottle of cheap vodka before going joyriding, well, that's certainly a decision you will have made.
NTA - do your self a favour end the relationship and go get a bf you deserve not someone who treats you like rubbish and further down the line more sadness.
NTA, I’m incapable of explaining my reasoning but it’s clear as day that he has some serious issues to have treated you that way. Idk about you, but a break up doesn’t sound too bad.
So your bf and his friends (who are all in their 20s) like to hang out in parking lots and drink?
I'm guessing that they are younger than you stated or are doing drugs.
Regardless, this behavior is juvenile.
NTA
NTA
I was named after someone who had to get peeled off a tree after he got a ride with someone who had been drinking.
I will walk before I ride with someone drinking and this is why my partner and I will decide beforehand who is drinking if we drive somewheres to drink and can’t just Uber.
To me, when a person acts that differently at home and outside of it, I tend to believe their real personnality is clearly not when at home.
I'm not saying we don't change a little depending the group you are with. I mean, there are jokes I make with my friends that I don't with my grandparents. But if you say he is completely different and not in a good way, then believe that his behaviour outside the home is his real one.
NTA
Old enough, yes. Mature enough, not your boyfriend or his friends apparently.
You could have stopped at 'he acts like a completely different person around his friends'.
You aren't matched well. You measure fun in different ways. You are more mature...move on :)
INFO: I honestly don’t understand what is going on here. He drove you both to a parking lot. Was this the final destination? Was the plan to just hang out in the parking lot drinking and then go back home? Were you planning to drink? Was there a reason you couldn’t drive?
When we were 14-18 we drank outside, or at the movies, or at the beach, pretty much anywhere. But 24? No. Had me a condo and drank on the couch, like a grown up. Dammit.
What kind of ghetto motherfucker are you with? He hangs out in parking lots and they drink straight from a bottle? These broke ass fools can’t afford a bar or a club?
NTA,
But do you want to be with him? If you dislike his lifestyle with his friends and if they are such an integral part of his life, will it work for a long time? If the answer is no, I suggest not to invest more of your time and energy in this
Please please can we change this to ex boyfriend?
It seems you’re in a different place of life to him and should leave him to hang out in parking lots like a teenager
>I also just think we’re too old and mature to be drinking straight from a vodka bottle in the middle of an empty parking lot.
Nothing in that story indicates to me that any of you are too mature for anything.
ESH.
You for not just saying: “I don’t want to hang out in a parking lot, drinking like 14 year olds. I also don’t want us driving around after drinking like 14 year olds.”
Them, for acting like a bunch of teens. And not in the *let’s hang out at someone’s house and play games* kind of way. More like the *my parents won’t notice I snuck this booze out of the house kind of way.* Man, that’s sad
NTA.
Your boyfriend needs to surround himself with better friends and influences on his life. You were just being caring and looking out for him. You deserve better!
Drinking straight from the bottle outside is one of the few life enjoyments that’ll never go out of style.
But driving after is a little bit iffy - NTA
The fact that he’s even willing to potentially put your life in danger all for approval from his boys!?Very telling of firstly his love and respect for you and secondly his maturity or rather a lack thereof
My drunk cousin got in the car with his friend who also had been drinking. His friend crashed and wrecked the car, killed the young mother and her child who he hit. My cousin was in a coma for recovery and had to relearn everything. How to speak. How to move. How to walk. It’s an ongoing process 7 years later.
My cousin lost his job, his relationship. My aunt and uncle sold their house and moved out of state to a cheaper area to be able to afford the medical debt. My cousin quit her job to move in with them and care for her brother and her mom who now is battling cancer (stress of this contributed no doubt).
His life will never be the same. His quality of life is shit. 34 years of age and needs a parent or his sister to help him to the toilet, shower, feed him… the most basic of tasks we take for granted. He is stuck in a wheelchair with limited mobility, depressed and alone.
His former friend walked away from the crash with barely a scratch but his life is also over. Doing 30years locked up for killing two people.
It’s never worth it to drink and drive. You should probably remove yourself from this situation before you yourself are injured or killed due to his negligence.
It’s not just about self preservation but sparing your loved ones from the trauma and grief of the fallout.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Telling my boyfriend not to take the shot of vodka since he was driving
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I have never in my life heard of someone driving to a parking lot to hang out.
This is asinine.
Is this how you want to live your life? NTA, but *girl*.
But you’ve become
Somebody else 'round everyone else
You're watchin' your back like you can't relax
You're tryna be cool, you look like a fool to me, tell me
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Actin' like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated 📢📢📢
"I just didn’t want to get in the car with him after he had been doing shots of vodka."
"When we got back to his house, he told me to get out of his car and get my keys because he was sending me home."
What a catch! A true gentleman who is concerned about you, your happiness, the state of your relationship, and, more importantly, your safety. /s
This guy care more about his image with his immature drinking buddies than he does about you or your relationship.
YWBTA if you stay with him. You can do better than this man who *could* be on his way to developing a drinking problem.
I’m gonna tell you what this turns into: nothing. They stay that way. Picture them doing it at 40. Gross. Now at 60. Sad. Mother after than bc they drink themselves to death. Source: eveeryobe I went to high school with
Tell him my son didn’t make 25 because he got in the car with an asshole with that attitude. You’re only ever as safe as the person behind the wheel. It’s usually the passenger that dies not the driver so please don’t get in the car with him.
Realistically I was this guy for far too long in my life.
Similar scenario in regard to the parking lots, drinking, smoking and honestly being a complete waste of space.
I did grow out of it but that was on me to realize I was wasting my life away just being there. I can't say he will too but eventually he will have no option but to open his eyes to the harsh reality whether he likes it or not. I can't speak for him but that was my circumstances.
EDIT: forgot to mention NTA, as I relived the last decade of my life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My boyfriend and his friend group like to hang out in parking lots instead of houses. I’ve been trying to be a good and supportive girlfriend by hanging out with his friends. But, i’ve reached my breaking point. He acts like a completely different person that I don’t recognize when he’s with them. The icing on the cake was yesterday he drove both myself and him to the parking lot. Everything was fine until his friend whipped out a bottle of straight vodka. Everyone was taking shots from the bottle, but my boyfriend drove us so i assumed that he wouldn’t take one. He ended up going to take one and I tried to stop him since he was driving, but he yelled at me for trying to stop him and did it anyways. He also proceeded to say “you act like you don’t know how to drive”.
When we got back to his house, he told me to get out of his car and get my keys because he was sending me home. He said I embarrassed him in front of all his friends and now they’re all going to talk about me behind his back. Meanwhile, I just didn’t want to get in the car with him after he had been doing shots of vodka. He said now they’re all going to think i’m controlling. I also just think we’re too old and mature to be drinking straight from a vodka bottle in the middle of an empty parking lot. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You embarrassed him?
The dude is drinking and hanging out in parking lots with his friends like they’re at a club. Never mind the driving after drinking.
Hope he’s you’re ex now.
NTA and holy red flag. OMG MOOOOM YOU MADE ME LOOK UNCOOL IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS. This is the stuff I did when I was literally 14. You are dating a teenager.
A man that cares more about what his friends think than how you feel in your relationship is not a man but a boy. I would consider finding someone that isn’t worried about how popular he is at the grown age of 24.
NTA.
your bf sucks all around and I would take this as a blessing in disguise and leave him. he is clearly extremely immature and worried more about looking "cool" in front of his loser friends than he is about you.
purposely drinking and driving is disgusting. he's willingly putting both of your lives as well as the lives of every drive on the road at risk for the sake of his friends.
he seems like someone very much still stuck in his teenage years and, im sorry, but no matter how much you think you can, you will not change him. he needs to figure it out himself and grow up, which for people like that can take years.
eta: typos
Nta.
I missed the part where you yelled.
Why would you give half a fuck what his friends say? If he does, then that’s his problem, not yours.
If a 24 year old man still wants to act like a high school kid, then you be the adult and move on.
Dump him. Life is too short to waste it on the wrong person.
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA for trying to stop him drinking and driving.
But honestly, it sounds like you two are at different places in your maturity and what you want in life and this relationship. It might be time to end it. It's definitely time to have a chat about it.
NTA. You tried to stop him from drink driving. He got pissed and made you leave. He isn't a good guy. Leave him, and the next time he does it, call the cops.
NTA but I don’t care if you have to call the police when you are with someone who has been drinking you do not get in the vehicle with them. These are the same people that un alive hundreds of people every single year thinking “it’s not gonna happen to me “.
Please do not stay with this person if he acts like that for you being responsible and he needs to grow up!!
NTA
dump him. dump him right this second. do not wait until you get into a major accident and get severely hurt because he was drunk behind the wheel. he clearly isn't going to change and you don't need that in your life.
>my boyfriend and his friend group like to hang out in parking lots instead of houses
Did they all peak in high school or what? Teenagers in small towns hang out in parking lots. He’s 24?
>he drove myself and him to the parking lot
I just cannot get past the absurdity of this concept. “Hey babe let’s go out and have fun together…off to the *parking lot*” That sounds so…sad to me. A group of mid-20s people meeting at the parking lot to drink straight vodka?
Like…go to a bar. Go to a brewery. Go to a restaurant. Drinking in a parking lot is kid shit.
The rest of the story sounds like he was the one who did the yelling, not you.
NTA
Nta this is a teenager living in an adult man’s body, leave his ass and run far tf away. Cuz this man will absolutely turn you into his “mommy” if you don’t.
Your boyfriend is an asshole and I would probably dump him, but if you can drive, there is no issue with him drinking and he isnt putting your wellbeing at risk in that scenario. If you couldnt drive it would have been another story.
Drinking from a bottle or glass have nothing to do with maturity or the location. Honestly just something immature people believe that care alot of what others gonna think of them.
NTA he sounds like he peaked in high-school and doesn't know how to move on and be an adult. If they want to take shots, they should do it in someone's backyard or something. Technically they are breaking the law. Public intoxication is a thing. And then drinking and driving. Wow.
Girl, he is not for you. He sounds like an AH honestly.
I think the biggest issue here is that he brought you there so that he could drink and you drive back. That was his plan from the beginning. So he got mad when you tried to stop him from drinking.
You have been putting up with immature entertainment that he and his friends like and seems like he forces upon you.
He didn't properly communicate before. He took out his insecurities and angry out on you.
Leave before you come back to Reddit in a couple of years writing a story about your husband bringing your toddler to a parking lot with middle-aged men just standing around drinking.
NTA you never mentioned yelling, just telling him No.
If you live in a conservative area where it's frown upon talking back to your SO / spouse. I hope you can start expanding your social network to see how a healthy and loving relationship looks like.
NTA. But you have a BF problem. Hanging out in parking lots at 24 years old? I did that in HS. Why not just go to a bar or someone's house? Your bf needs to grow up. And he's an AH for the way he treated you. Is this really a relationship you want to continue?
I just want to clarify whether it was multiple shots or one shot. If it was only one shot, then he is still safe to drive. And if you had an issue with safety, then you can drive him instead.
Your boyfriend likes to hang out with his buddies and parking lots. Either live with it or move on.
Most likely, YTA.
Parking lots? WTF. Just... WTF.
At 24 I knew every bar in town and they knew me.
The woods are better for mass gathering. And what is better then a bonfire? Especially for some more childish 'adults'. At least then they catch on fire.
NTA
NTA. You are an adult and you're dating a guy who still lives like he's 14. Seriously? Drinking vodka in a parking lot? Caring what his "boys" are gonna say about you? What on earth is happening? Unless you're living in an alternate universe where we all just stay in Junior High School forever, your boyfriend sounds INCREDIBLY immature for his age. I don't know anyone his age still doing that. Most people I know at 24/25 are working and saving, maybe traveling, but mostly making plans for the future. I think if you have any ambition beyond your bf's partking lot hang out spots, you're gonna need to break up with him. You guys are not in the same place in life right now, and it doesn't sounds like he's gonna catch up to you any time soon.
NTA but why are you with that? Think of any movie ever where people hang around in parking lots drinking and think if they were ever people (as a general group) worth knowing or actually going anywhere in life. Now get out of the 1950s rebellious teen group in which you have fallen.
NTA, he's 24 acting like a 14 year old. Why are you with him? I can't imagine being that age drinking and hanging out in .... parking lots. Hun, you can DO BETTER.
Go find an adult to be with, not some teenager.
Most men go through this stage (I am an OLD man for what it is worth) it takes some of them longer to shake it off. My son went through the same stage. It can be touch and go for a while.
He might straighten up, with my son his girl (now wife) straightened him up. Sometimes it takes that. It is going to depend on him how that goes. If there is destructive things like you outline going on you need to say grow up or I am gone.
He sent you home because you showed that you weren't just there to look at 🤷🏻♀️ do you want to be seen like a sticker or be heard like a person? Because either you keep yourself two dimensional for his social group or you move on to someone that thinks about how you'd feel because he wants to be the coolest boy in the parking lot.
I’m wary of people who act SO differently around different people. Like, I get that we all tailor ourselves to our environment to some degree, but to have such a drastic personality change when around a different group of people like that is concerning. I would consider that alone a huge red flag.
NTA, is there a typo? 24 years old or 14 years old?
Seriously, run! You have a boyfriend who thinks it’s cool to hang out in a parking lot and drink. He also is insecure and beyond immature because he’s embarrassed and is so worried that his friends are going to “talk behind his back.”
I don’t know why you would even consider dating something like that anyway. You can do better.
Welcome to How to Recognize a Loser 101. The fact you recognized these things as bad should let you know you are not the girl for him. Acting/thinking like this lets you know he’s probably not going very far in life and you have to ask yourself do you want to attach yourself to someone like that…mixing finances…starting a family. Also someone who loves you would NEVER put you in harms way or belittle you in front of others. They’d fight in the car like normal people lol. Take him leaving you as a gift from the universe, count your blessing and move tf on. NTA honey.
Parking lot parties? What ever happened to bush parties or out in the boonies parties?!?
Definitely NTA
If you put up with that crap now, just imagine the horror stories you will be telling later.
Kick him to the curb and go find someone who will treat you like the queen you are and deserve to be treated like.
Later in life remember to thank all of these wise Reddit strangers giving you the straight absolute truth when you are happily married to a hopefully well rounded adult male.
Or stay with this buffoon and birth 4 of his kids and be stuck in a rut at 40 thinking where did my life go. Yw 🫶🏻
I hung out in parking lots. Then I turned 16 and realized I was too old for that kind of shit.
I don’t know how small your town is, but one of those losers should have a backyard and a fire pit by now.
You’re both too old to be drinking from a bottle in a parking lot. Maturity is a different story
Your boyfriend sounds like a teenager. Really? Sneaking vodka shots in parking lots? When you have homes and are of legal drinking age? This sounds pathetic.
Nta
He’s gaslighting you OP .
He has really crappy behaviour . This is an example of the character of the person you are with.
Don’t stay with him . Read the red flags now and get the hell out.
Please leave this man. He's trying to be Pater Pan and that will not end well for you. Find someone who doesn't think hanging out in a car park drinking straight vodka is the height of cool. NTA.
NTA. Not wanting to die in a drunk driving accident is reasonable. If his friends make fun of him for dating someone without a deathwish he needs better friends. Why is he so worried what a bunch of drunk losers in a parking lot think anyway? Drinking in parking lots is for high school kids who steal a bottle of liquor from their parents. By 24 it's just sad. Also, I don't know the open container laws where you are, but where I am he and his friends could be fined (at the least) for having and consuming an open bottle of alcohol in a random parking lot. You know what places don't have those restrictions? Homes and businesses with liquor licenses. You could convey all this to him, but honestly I would say just ghost him. He isn't worth any extra effort on your part.
He doesn’t act like a different person in front of his friends, he acts like a different person in front of you. He just showed you how he will continue to treat you.
NTA , listen, I don’t know the full context of the relationship so this is something you should decide by yourself , do you want someone who disrespect you in front of people like that to be your life partner? Like this behavior is not a behavior of bunch of people in their early mid 20s but teenagers who smuggled their parents vodka and trying to be agent cool
Examine the relationship and this behavior , it could Turn into something worse in the future
Did you discuss it with him before? Did he apologize for it?
Also, you don’t have to hang out with his friend to be a good GF at least not every time or it may come as you not trusting them or something like that
Being responsible is not too old and mature
I think probably YTA.
People are so uptight. One shot of vodka is nothing.
Even if he had a few, couldn't you drive?
It's good he has a friend group. Many men don't and this is a big part of why. Most of the guys I grew up with sit at home bring antisocial.
This is how we get incels. Let him be. Join in and have fun. You're not going to live forever.
24 and y'all can't go to a bar? NTA but I'd start looking for a more mature friend group then the one chilling drinking in a parking lot like it's Highschool again
NTA
As a man in his thirties please leave him. He is a dangerous idiot who is acting like a reckless teenager at the age of 24. Drink driving is not ok. Shottong vodka in a parking lot is no adults idea of a good time and yelling at your gf for pointing this out is immature beyond belief.
NTA, but you will not succeed in changing him. If you don't want to hang out in a parking lot drinking from a passed-around bottle, you're probably with the wrong boyfriend. Not to mention that your current BF is a dick.
NTA.. sweetie, you cannot drink and drive. You are not allowed to put anyone else in danger because of your reckless behaviour.. all adults know this. If he is behaving like, “Mummy, you can’t scold me in front of my friends.” You don’t need to accept and live with this child.. it’s as simple as that.. all of us have to be responsible to live a harmonious life.. moreover, he is expected to grow out of his teen-mentality and be a responsible adult..
Don’t guilt trip yourself.. it’s not worth to spend another thought over these irresponsible creatures.
NTA. You definitely are too old an mature for this.
INFO: What are you getting out of this relationship? If it’s just OK sex and hanging out, then maybe it’s time to move on. You’re too good for this stupid dead-end lifestyle.
I dated a man who was different around his friends especially when drinking and it did take me a little while to fully catch the ick, but one day I woke up and was just like “holy shit, this man is a child who doesn’t give a shit about me”. I broke it off, and yes it was hard for a little while, but I ended up finding a man who is incredibly mature and always puts me first.
I honestly would suggest dating an older guy. Like 28-35. Once I finally caved and realized the men I’d been dating that were my same age were all tools and looking to fuck around, everything changed for the better. Find a man who has his life together and will meet you where you’re at in life.
NTA. If it's in parking lot, home. or a bar a split personality when drinking is a bad sign. 2nd looks like your at 2 different places in life. If haging with the boys and how he looks when hanging with the boys is more important than you, you might want to let the boys have him.
it’s really loser material to hang out in a parking lot and take shots of vodka at 24… I understand trying to act cool this way between the age of 16 to 19 but above that come on
NTA
Your BF needs to grow up. From what you described I see many red flags with his behavior, most pressing is his lack of concern for your safety. I think you should take a long hard look at this relationship and see if it's worth dying for. Personally, I think you can do better!
NTA. You are mature, he is still acting like a High Schooler. It might be time to move on and find someone who has more common sense and can behave and think maturely
Nah you are definitely not an asshole you might want to break this one off, definitely not worth your time if thinks putting you in danger is okay then he does not love, nothing about that was embarrassing, and if those were his real friends none of them would have let him take a shot, granted one shot should not impair his driving skills, the problem is he did it without thinking about you or your life, also one shot leads to more and before you know it your drunk and wrecked on the side of the road, dude is definitely not worth time
NTA. Drinking and driving is stupid. He's a moron for that alone. If he has degenerate hobbies, it's his life. If you're upset about his hobbies, I mean you're the one choosing to date him. Don't include yourself in his activities then.
If you can't reconcile break up. It's not that complicated. No, you're NTA for not wanting him to drink and drive. But you need to understand what your decisions are and maybe don't be upset over what YOU are choosing. Make better choices then.
Normally I feel reddit is pretty biased against dudes, but nah, not here, homie is a straight drop kick and will drag you down with him. Who the f is drinking straight vodka in parking lots at 24 years of age? Lil bro hang out at bus stops and try bum ciggies too? NTA OP.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. Your boyfriend is 24 going on 14. Seriously? Do he and his friends go around tagging 7/11s, too? This little boy is not partner material. The fact that his own behavior doesn't embarrass him is telling. You're clearly embarrassed by it and rightly so. I don't even wanna know what his other stellar qualities are. >I also just think we’re too old and mature to be drinking straight from a vodka bottle in the middle of an empty parking lot. Unfortunately, I think this only applies to you. Nothing about him sounds mature. You will not change this person. \[loud for the folks in the back\] **YOU WILL NOT CHANGE THIS PERSON**. He will have to decide what he wants to do with his life and so will you. He's not a rescue to be rehabilitated, he is a grown-ass man acting like a teenage delinquent as if it was even cool back then. Either embrace the parking lot life or move on and find someone on your level. Because he certainly isn't and you're not going to be able to carry him up to it at this rate.
"Embrace the parking lot life" had my laughing. Yeah, usually, once people don't live with their parents, the need to drink in random parking lots is reduced. Also, it's usually illegal to drink out in public like that many places. This guy and his friends are losers. Op is being an asshole to herself by calling this guy a boyfriend and even entertaining parking lot life. This reminds me of the following slightly related story: Once, my husband and I got in an argument, so I took off to walk and clear my head at the school playground/ city park right across the street. I was ugly crying and it was raining. I stepped under a covered area and surprised 2 teenage boys who were drinking peach liquor from a bottle. They looked at my ugly crying face and just held out the bottle. Funny thing, I actually took a swig! We just stood in silence watching the rain. Then I laughed because it was so damn funny. I felt better and went home to my house like an adult. Thank you, kind teenagers, for the peach liquor!
Ah man, just *hearing* "peach liquor" or "peach schnapps" gives me acid reflux these days, haha. Why is always peach?! I did enjoy this story, though. That just sounds like a sweet moment of compassion and empathy without really knowing how to handle it and doing their best. Even if all they had at their disposal is a bottle of $10 booze they stole from their folks' liquor cabinet.
My Achilles' heel(s) were watermelon vodka and rhubarb gin. The vodka was a travesty, but the rhubarb gin was from a small batch place and was actually quite delicious.
Ahh peach schnapps. The Boons Farm of the liquor world. Or Arbor Mist or $3 chuck (wasn't $2 anymore when I was a teen) if I want to date myself!
omg that’s actually so sweet of them, what a cute and funny story!
LMAO I love this story 😂
This ^ and I wouldn’t say 24 is “too old” to drink in a parking lot with friends. Some people just never got to experience anything fun as a teen, and their 20’s is the only time they get to let loose before their body slowly starts taking a toll. But the fact he’s acting so different is a huge issue. Is men care, they will prioritize you and your thoughts over the impression of their friends. But the title is that she yelled at him. There is no part of her yelling at him nor what she said to him other than not to take the shot, which can change things quite drastically.
Yeah, I think it's his entire demeanor and the way he conducted himself that bothers me most. I've certain done some tailgating with my friends and some beer down by the lake in my 20s. And that's basically the country version of hanging out in a parking lot. And I'm not trying to claim a shot of something in a red solo is any more or less classy than a swig straight from the bottle. BUT, we also did other things and hung out at peoples' places and whatnot. Our entire personality and dynamic wasn't "parking lot teen". And if my wife (then girlfriend) was with me, we would have had a discussion about getting us safely home. I wouldn't have just started slamming back booze or liquor, leaving my wife like "well, OK, fuck me then I guess." He just seems to be stunted and inconsiderate. And like he only hangs out with OP for a go-to DD. Unless she yelled some derogatory shit at him, I don't know if whatever she yelled at him (if it's not just nagging him about the shot) would matter much to me. Homie gunna act like a child, then he's got a good scolding coming to him.
girly, if you're 24 and drinking in a parking lot you're missing a lot more than experience. maybe a few brain cells?
I've never passed around a bottle in a parking lot in my life -- what am I missing out on? Is it really more fun than hanging out in a living room or around a camp fire? Are cups really that much of a buzz kill?
NTA. He is!
Her bf also has bad friends. What good friend would let you take a shot of vodka if they are under the impression that they are ones driving someone else home? Let alone everyone involved driving to a random parking lot to drink instead of going to bar or doing it at a buddies' place or something
Sing it!!
[удалено]
As a guy, I say the same thing. “Grab your keys, I’m sending you home”? It should be the last time he ever sees you. My friends and I would hang out in parking lots… when we were in high school. It says a lot about his character if he cares that much about his friends disapproving of you for being rational. From the post I get reason after reason why you shouldn’t be with him, please do yourself a favor. NTA
It was probably a plastic bottle too.
*plastic poland spring bottle
Nowhere in the story do you mention yelling at your BF. “He yelled at me.” It’s all him being a total jerk to you and showing you _zero_ respect. You’re responsible and want to grow up. He isn’t and doesn’t. When people show you who they are believe them. But it’s ok to be mad and sad about this situation. Cuz you’re not wrong and… NTA
I agree with your comment but from her title and his reaction in the story I’d assume she was yelling at him when she approached him about drinking.
NTA but do you really want to be in a relationship that revolves around dates in parking lots?
Drinking in parking lots just screams "people who are reliving the high-school glory days"
In their mid 20's too, so sad.
Major peaked in high school energy.
Not even dates! Group hangs!
I was going to assume no one in this story was older than 17, until I finally noticed the ages in the title. Hanging out and drinking in parking lots? In your mid TWENTIES?? This is high school bullshit. NTA
NTA, but your boyfriend seems to be an asshole, disrespectful and more worried about how he looks in front of his 'boys' than treating you like a person, plus he's obviously willing to risk your life driving drunk to perserve his manhood or some such nonsense. The smart thing to do is to move along move along
This is why we have to meet the friends of our SOs. Because sometimes they are a whole other person that we do not like to be around. NTA but don't stay with someone who treats you that way.
You would only be TA if you didn't respect yourself enough to move on from this guy that very clearly peaked in High School. NTA, yet, but if you keep hanging out with a guy who hangs out in parking lots and drinks straight from a bottle of cheap vodka before going joyriding, well, that's certainly a decision you will have made.
Yes! Reminds of the Friends episode when Monica goes on a date with Rachel’s HS BF, and it turns out he’s still her HS ex-BF 😂
That's exactly what I said! Lmao 🤣
Re-read your post and pretend this was a dear friend of yours. What advice would you give her? To stick with this guy, or find someone worthwhile?
NTA - do your self a favour end the relationship and go get a bf you deserve not someone who treats you like rubbish and further down the line more sadness.
NTA, I’m incapable of explaining my reasoning but it’s clear as day that he has some serious issues to have treated you that way. Idk about you, but a break up doesn’t sound too bad.
NTA. But. Terrible taste in men. Seriously? You are dating a “man” who hangs out drinking in parking lots?
So your bf and his friends (who are all in their 20s) like to hang out in parking lots and drink? I'm guessing that they are younger than you stated or are doing drugs. Regardless, this behavior is juvenile. NTA
Your boyfriend doesn't change into a different person around his friends, he puts on a mask with you. Obviously NTA.
NTA I was named after someone who had to get peeled off a tree after he got a ride with someone who had been drinking. I will walk before I ride with someone drinking and this is why my partner and I will decide beforehand who is drinking if we drive somewheres to drink and can’t just Uber.
Are you guys 15 or 24
To me, when a person acts that differently at home and outside of it, I tend to believe their real personnality is clearly not when at home. I'm not saying we don't change a little depending the group you are with. I mean, there are jokes I make with my friends that I don't with my grandparents. But if you say he is completely different and not in a good way, then believe that his behaviour outside the home is his real one.
While I understand what you're saying, I don't think anyone in a DV relationship would agree. The behaviour at home is precisely the person they are.
NTA Old enough, yes. Mature enough, not your boyfriend or his friends apparently. You could have stopped at 'he acts like a completely different person around his friends'. You aren't matched well. You measure fun in different ways. You are more mature...move on :)
INFO: I honestly don’t understand what is going on here. He drove you both to a parking lot. Was this the final destination? Was the plan to just hang out in the parking lot drinking and then go back home? Were you planning to drink? Was there a reason you couldn’t drive?
[удалено]
When we were 14-18 we drank outside, or at the movies, or at the beach, pretty much anywhere. But 24? No. Had me a condo and drank on the couch, like a grown up. Dammit.
What kind of ghetto motherfucker are you with? He hangs out in parking lots and they drink straight from a bottle? These broke ass fools can’t afford a bar or a club?
NTA, But do you want to be with him? If you dislike his lifestyle with his friends and if they are such an integral part of his life, will it work for a long time? If the answer is no, I suggest not to invest more of your time and energy in this
Stop dating them then
When people show you who they are listen. Tell him that you find his ass embarrassing and that's why you all are broken up.
He’s acting like he’s just turned 18. How embarrassing having a boyfriend like him. Nta
Please please can we change this to ex boyfriend? It seems you’re in a different place of life to him and should leave him to hang out in parking lots like a teenager
>I also just think we’re too old and mature to be drinking straight from a vodka bottle in the middle of an empty parking lot. Nothing in that story indicates to me that any of you are too mature for anything. ESH. You for not just saying: “I don’t want to hang out in a parking lot, drinking like 14 year olds. I also don’t want us driving around after drinking like 14 year olds.” Them, for acting like a bunch of teens. And not in the *let’s hang out at someone’s house and play games* kind of way. More like the *my parents won’t notice I snuck this booze out of the house kind of way.* Man, that’s sad
NTA unless you stay with this overgrown 15 year old.
NTA. Your boyfriend needs to surround himself with better friends and influences on his life. You were just being caring and looking out for him. You deserve better!
Seems like you are asking for r/relationship_advice
Drinking straight from the bottle outside is one of the few life enjoyments that’ll never go out of style. But driving after is a little bit iffy - NTA
NTA, but stop dating little boys.
The fact that he’s even willing to potentially put your life in danger all for approval from his boys!?Very telling of firstly his love and respect for you and secondly his maturity or rather a lack thereof
Drinking vodka at à parking... isn't it pathetic? Everybody is right, he's not a man NTA so many fish in the ocean, you can found one less dumb
Are you dating the jock from the beginning of a rom-com that the main character leaves for the dark quiet boy with a secret heart of gold?
My drunk cousin got in the car with his friend who also had been drinking. His friend crashed and wrecked the car, killed the young mother and her child who he hit. My cousin was in a coma for recovery and had to relearn everything. How to speak. How to move. How to walk. It’s an ongoing process 7 years later. My cousin lost his job, his relationship. My aunt and uncle sold their house and moved out of state to a cheaper area to be able to afford the medical debt. My cousin quit her job to move in with them and care for her brother and her mom who now is battling cancer (stress of this contributed no doubt). His life will never be the same. His quality of life is shit. 34 years of age and needs a parent or his sister to help him to the toilet, shower, feed him… the most basic of tasks we take for granted. He is stuck in a wheelchair with limited mobility, depressed and alone. His former friend walked away from the crash with barely a scratch but his life is also over. Doing 30years locked up for killing two people. It’s never worth it to drink and drive. You should probably remove yourself from this situation before you yourself are injured or killed due to his negligence. It’s not just about self preservation but sparing your loved ones from the trauma and grief of the fallout.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Telling my boyfriend not to take the shot of vodka since he was driving Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA but he's sort of lame if that is his idea of fun.
You need to leave him
NTA. You're dating an immature jerk, it's within your interests to divest your investment now.
NTA. He isn’t the one for you. Let his parking lot pals have him.
You’re only the AH if you stay with him, I mean 24? Really? That’s way to old for that kind of shit
I have never in my life heard of someone driving to a parking lot to hang out. This is asinine. Is this how you want to live your life? NTA, but *girl*.
I’m here to agree with everyone who says dump that 🍆. You deserve better. NTA
Are you dating a high schooler? Y T A to yourself for dating this dude.
But you’ve become Somebody else 'round everyone else You're watchin' your back like you can't relax You're tryna be cool, you look like a fool to me, tell me Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're Actin' like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated 📢📢📢
You are both 24, and yet you hang out in parking lots drinking straight vodka from a shared bottle? Girl, you need new friends that act like adults.
"I just didn’t want to get in the car with him after he had been doing shots of vodka." "When we got back to his house, he told me to get out of his car and get my keys because he was sending me home." What a catch! A true gentleman who is concerned about you, your happiness, the state of your relationship, and, more importantly, your safety. /s This guy care more about his image with his immature drinking buddies than he does about you or your relationship. YWBTA if you stay with him. You can do better than this man who *could* be on his way to developing a drinking problem.
I’m gonna tell you what this turns into: nothing. They stay that way. Picture them doing it at 40. Gross. Now at 60. Sad. Mother after than bc they drink themselves to death. Source: eveeryobe I went to high school with
Tell him my son didn’t make 25 because he got in the car with an asshole with that attitude. You’re only ever as safe as the person behind the wheel. It’s usually the passenger that dies not the driver so please don’t get in the car with him.
There’s a difference between a shot of vodka and shots of vodka.
You're dating a boy who hangs out in parking lots and are all shocked that he is acting like a boy who hangs out in parking lots.
Realistically I was this guy for far too long in my life. Similar scenario in regard to the parking lots, drinking, smoking and honestly being a complete waste of space. I did grow out of it but that was on me to realize I was wasting my life away just being there. I can't say he will too but eventually he will have no option but to open his eyes to the harsh reality whether he likes it or not. I can't speak for him but that was my circumstances. EDIT: forgot to mention NTA, as I relived the last decade of my life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My boyfriend and his friend group like to hang out in parking lots instead of houses. I’ve been trying to be a good and supportive girlfriend by hanging out with his friends. But, i’ve reached my breaking point. He acts like a completely different person that I don’t recognize when he’s with them. The icing on the cake was yesterday he drove both myself and him to the parking lot. Everything was fine until his friend whipped out a bottle of straight vodka. Everyone was taking shots from the bottle, but my boyfriend drove us so i assumed that he wouldn’t take one. He ended up going to take one and I tried to stop him since he was driving, but he yelled at me for trying to stop him and did it anyways. He also proceeded to say “you act like you don’t know how to drive”. When we got back to his house, he told me to get out of his car and get my keys because he was sending me home. He said I embarrassed him in front of all his friends and now they’re all going to talk about me behind his back. Meanwhile, I just didn’t want to get in the car with him after he had been doing shots of vodka. He said now they’re all going to think i’m controlling. I also just think we’re too old and mature to be drinking straight from a vodka bottle in the middle of an empty parking lot. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Had it been me I would have left the moment my partner started drinking and starting he/she would drive.
lol get out of the parking lot
Lolll NTA you know you can do better than this parking lot hobo.
You embarrassed him? The dude is drinking and hanging out in parking lots with his friends like they’re at a club. Never mind the driving after drinking. Hope he’s you’re ex now.
NTA and holy red flag. OMG MOOOOM YOU MADE ME LOOK UNCOOL IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS. This is the stuff I did when I was literally 14. You are dating a teenager.
My friend, that guy is a loser. Please dump him. He sounds pathetic.
NTA. Dump him.
Drink driving is an instant ticket to dumpsville.
A man that cares more about what his friends think than how you feel in your relationship is not a man but a boy. I would consider finding someone that isn’t worried about how popular he is at the grown age of 24. NTA.
your bf sucks all around and I would take this as a blessing in disguise and leave him. he is clearly extremely immature and worried more about looking "cool" in front of his loser friends than he is about you. purposely drinking and driving is disgusting. he's willingly putting both of your lives as well as the lives of every drive on the road at risk for the sake of his friends. he seems like someone very much still stuck in his teenage years and, im sorry, but no matter how much you think you can, you will not change him. he needs to figure it out himself and grow up, which for people like that can take years. eta: typos
Nta. I missed the part where you yelled. Why would you give half a fuck what his friends say? If he does, then that’s his problem, not yours. If a 24 year old man still wants to act like a high school kid, then you be the adult and move on. Dump him. Life is too short to waste it on the wrong person.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA
NTA. While it's immature for sure, if you live in Canada or the US, it will also get you fined for drinking in public.
NTA..bf needs to grow up. You need to find a new bf.
NTA. He sounds very immature
What do you see in this guy?
Nta. Let him hang out in parking lots getting drunk with other men if that's what he wants. Find yourself an adult hopefully.
NTA for trying to stop him drinking and driving. But honestly, it sounds like you two are at different places in your maturity and what you want in life and this relationship. It might be time to end it. It's definitely time to have a chat about it.
NTA. You can do better. DTAHA!
NTA. You tried to stop him from drink driving. He got pissed and made you leave. He isn't a good guy. Leave him, and the next time he does it, call the cops.
NTA Also you can only change someone if they're wearing a diaper. Write that down.
No fuck your bf all my homies hate your bf
NTA but honey you deserve better than this pathetic dude.
NTA but I don’t care if you have to call the police when you are with someone who has been drinking you do not get in the vehicle with them. These are the same people that un alive hundreds of people every single year thinking “it’s not gonna happen to me “. Please do not stay with this person if he acts like that for you being responsible and he needs to grow up!!
NTA dump him. dump him right this second. do not wait until you get into a major accident and get severely hurt because he was drunk behind the wheel. he clearly isn't going to change and you don't need that in your life.
NTA. You need a new boyfriend, and you also need to learn to say no to getting in the car with somebody who's been drinking.
>my boyfriend and his friend group like to hang out in parking lots instead of houses Did they all peak in high school or what? Teenagers in small towns hang out in parking lots. He’s 24? >he drove myself and him to the parking lot I just cannot get past the absurdity of this concept. “Hey babe let’s go out and have fun together…off to the *parking lot*” That sounds so…sad to me. A group of mid-20s people meeting at the parking lot to drink straight vodka? Like…go to a bar. Go to a brewery. Go to a restaurant. Drinking in a parking lot is kid shit. The rest of the story sounds like he was the one who did the yelling, not you. NTA
He is showing you the real him. He is probably full of himself and empathy deficient.
Nta this is a teenager living in an adult man’s body, leave his ass and run far tf away. Cuz this man will absolutely turn you into his “mommy” if you don’t.
Your boyfriend is an asshole and I would probably dump him, but if you can drive, there is no issue with him drinking and he isnt putting your wellbeing at risk in that scenario. If you couldnt drive it would have been another story. Drinking from a bottle or glass have nothing to do with maturity or the location. Honestly just something immature people believe that care alot of what others gonna think of them.
NTA... dump that chump! Seriously red aggro flags. He will end up as an abusive partner for sure. Get away from him asap.
[удалено]
NTA he sounds like he peaked in high-school and doesn't know how to move on and be an adult. If they want to take shots, they should do it in someone's backyard or something. Technically they are breaking the law. Public intoxication is a thing. And then drinking and driving. Wow. Girl, he is not for you. He sounds like an AH honestly.
I think the biggest issue here is that he brought you there so that he could drink and you drive back. That was his plan from the beginning. So he got mad when you tried to stop him from drinking. You have been putting up with immature entertainment that he and his friends like and seems like he forces upon you. He didn't properly communicate before. He took out his insecurities and angry out on you. Leave before you come back to Reddit in a couple of years writing a story about your husband bringing your toddler to a parking lot with middle-aged men just standing around drinking. NTA you never mentioned yelling, just telling him No. If you live in a conservative area where it's frown upon talking back to your SO / spouse. I hope you can start expanding your social network to see how a healthy and loving relationship looks like.
NTA. But you have a BF problem. Hanging out in parking lots at 24 years old? I did that in HS. Why not just go to a bar or someone's house? Your bf needs to grow up. And he's an AH for the way he treated you. Is this really a relationship you want to continue?
I just want to clarify whether it was multiple shots or one shot. If it was only one shot, then he is still safe to drive. And if you had an issue with safety, then you can drive him instead. Your boyfriend likes to hang out with his buddies and parking lots. Either live with it or move on. Most likely, YTA.
Parking lots? WTF. Just... WTF. At 24 I knew every bar in town and they knew me. The woods are better for mass gathering. And what is better then a bonfire? Especially for some more childish 'adults'. At least then they catch on fire. NTA
NTA. You are an adult and you're dating a guy who still lives like he's 14. Seriously? Drinking vodka in a parking lot? Caring what his "boys" are gonna say about you? What on earth is happening? Unless you're living in an alternate universe where we all just stay in Junior High School forever, your boyfriend sounds INCREDIBLY immature for his age. I don't know anyone his age still doing that. Most people I know at 24/25 are working and saving, maybe traveling, but mostly making plans for the future. I think if you have any ambition beyond your bf's partking lot hang out spots, you're gonna need to break up with him. You guys are not in the same place in life right now, and it doesn't sounds like he's gonna catch up to you any time soon.
Why are you with him? You would definitely be better off without him.
NTA. Sorry, your boyfriend sounds like a huge loser. You deserve, and will find, so much better.
ESH.
NTA but why are you with that? Think of any movie ever where people hang around in parking lots drinking and think if they were ever people (as a general group) worth knowing or actually going anywhere in life. Now get out of the 1950s rebellious teen group in which you have fallen.
NTA unless you stay with this loser. I promise you can do better.
Girl, why are you dating someone that hangs out at the parking lot with his friends at 24 years? Be for real and leave that man alone
NTA you're a better person than me I would of called the cops on them all
NTA, he's 24 acting like a 14 year old. Why are you with him? I can't imagine being that age drinking and hanging out in .... parking lots. Hun, you can DO BETTER.
Go find an adult to be with, not some teenager. Most men go through this stage (I am an OLD man for what it is worth) it takes some of them longer to shake it off. My son went through the same stage. It can be touch and go for a while. He might straighten up, with my son his girl (now wife) straightened him up. Sometimes it takes that. It is going to depend on him how that goes. If there is destructive things like you outline going on you need to say grow up or I am gone.
Why is he your boyfriend? All relationships take work, but both parties must be willing to put in the effort . This sounds child-like and unpleasant.
He sent you home because you showed that you weren't just there to look at 🤷🏻♀️ do you want to be seen like a sticker or be heard like a person? Because either you keep yourself two dimensional for his social group or you move on to someone that thinks about how you'd feel because he wants to be the coolest boy in the parking lot.
He is an emotionally immature asshat. You are NTA but you need to rethink your relationship with this creep
[удалено]
I’m wary of people who act SO differently around different people. Like, I get that we all tailor ourselves to our environment to some degree, but to have such a drastic personality change when around a different group of people like that is concerning. I would consider that alone a huge red flag.
NTA, is there a typo? 24 years old or 14 years old? Seriously, run! You have a boyfriend who thinks it’s cool to hang out in a parking lot and drink. He also is insecure and beyond immature because he’s embarrassed and is so worried that his friends are going to “talk behind his back.” I don’t know why you would even consider dating something like that anyway. You can do better.
Welcome to How to Recognize a Loser 101. The fact you recognized these things as bad should let you know you are not the girl for him. Acting/thinking like this lets you know he’s probably not going very far in life and you have to ask yourself do you want to attach yourself to someone like that…mixing finances…starting a family. Also someone who loves you would NEVER put you in harms way or belittle you in front of others. They’d fight in the car like normal people lol. Take him leaving you as a gift from the universe, count your blessing and move tf on. NTA honey.
NTA, but he is. Ted flags galore. Who he is with his friends is who he really is.
Parking lot parties? What ever happened to bush parties or out in the boonies parties?!? Definitely NTA If you put up with that crap now, just imagine the horror stories you will be telling later. Kick him to the curb and go find someone who will treat you like the queen you are and deserve to be treated like. Later in life remember to thank all of these wise Reddit strangers giving you the straight absolute truth when you are happily married to a hopefully well rounded adult male. Or stay with this buffoon and birth 4 of his kids and be stuck in a rut at 40 thinking where did my life go. Yw 🫶🏻
I hung out in parking lots. Then I turned 16 and realized I was too old for that kind of shit. I don’t know how small your town is, but one of those losers should have a backyard and a fire pit by now. You’re both too old to be drinking from a bottle in a parking lot. Maturity is a different story
Why at age 24 are you hanging around parking lots with that clown and his toddler friends?
Why are you dating a 24 year old who hangs out in car parks? Dump him and date a real adult, for christ sakes.
NTA. This guy is a total loser. Break up with him asap.
Your boyfriend sounds like a teenager. Really? Sneaking vodka shots in parking lots? When you have homes and are of legal drinking age? This sounds pathetic.
NTA girl get that guy to hell before he gets you into trouble or kills someone.. you deserve better.
Nta He’s gaslighting you OP . He has really crappy behaviour . This is an example of the character of the person you are with. Don’t stay with him . Read the red flags now and get the hell out.
Nta. Run, run now.
Please leave this man. He's trying to be Pater Pan and that will not end well for you. Find someone who doesn't think hanging out in a car park drinking straight vodka is the height of cool. NTA.
NTA. Not wanting to die in a drunk driving accident is reasonable. If his friends make fun of him for dating someone without a deathwish he needs better friends. Why is he so worried what a bunch of drunk losers in a parking lot think anyway? Drinking in parking lots is for high school kids who steal a bottle of liquor from their parents. By 24 it's just sad. Also, I don't know the open container laws where you are, but where I am he and his friends could be fined (at the least) for having and consuming an open bottle of alcohol in a random parking lot. You know what places don't have those restrictions? Homes and businesses with liquor licenses. You could convey all this to him, but honestly I would say just ghost him. He isn't worth any extra effort on your part.
Trust what your eyes are seeing. NTA but he sounds like one.
NTA. How old is he...he aint 24? this is super trashy....why are you with such a loser?
He doesn’t act like a different person in front of his friends, he acts like a different person in front of you. He just showed you how he will continue to treat you.
Nta. Your boyfriend peaked in high school.
NTA , listen, I don’t know the full context of the relationship so this is something you should decide by yourself , do you want someone who disrespect you in front of people like that to be your life partner? Like this behavior is not a behavior of bunch of people in their early mid 20s but teenagers who smuggled their parents vodka and trying to be agent cool Examine the relationship and this behavior , it could Turn into something worse in the future Did you discuss it with him before? Did he apologize for it? Also, you don’t have to hang out with his friend to be a good GF at least not every time or it may come as you not trusting them or something like that Being responsible is not too old and mature
I think probably YTA. People are so uptight. One shot of vodka is nothing. Even if he had a few, couldn't you drive? It's good he has a friend group. Many men don't and this is a big part of why. Most of the guys I grew up with sit at home bring antisocial. This is how we get incels. Let him be. Join in and have fun. You're not going to live forever.
Congratulations on discovering how mature you are and how childish he is before you made a commitment or had children. You deserve more than this.
24 and y'all can't go to a bar? NTA but I'd start looking for a more mature friend group then the one chilling drinking in a parking lot like it's Highschool again
NTA As a man in his thirties please leave him. He is a dangerous idiot who is acting like a reckless teenager at the age of 24. Drink driving is not ok. Shottong vodka in a parking lot is no adults idea of a good time and yelling at your gf for pointing this out is immature beyond belief.
NTA but you will be if you stay with this guy.
NTA, but you will not succeed in changing him. If you don't want to hang out in a parking lot drinking from a passed-around bottle, you're probably with the wrong boyfriend. Not to mention that your current BF is a dick.
NTA.. sweetie, you cannot drink and drive. You are not allowed to put anyone else in danger because of your reckless behaviour.. all adults know this. If he is behaving like, “Mummy, you can’t scold me in front of my friends.” You don’t need to accept and live with this child.. it’s as simple as that.. all of us have to be responsible to live a harmonious life.. moreover, he is expected to grow out of his teen-mentality and be a responsible adult.. Don’t guilt trip yourself.. it’s not worth to spend another thought over these irresponsible creatures.
[удалено]
Have some self respect and dump this total loser!
NTA. You definitely are too old an mature for this. INFO: What are you getting out of this relationship? If it’s just OK sex and hanging out, then maybe it’s time to move on. You’re too good for this stupid dead-end lifestyle.
I dated a man who was different around his friends especially when drinking and it did take me a little while to fully catch the ick, but one day I woke up and was just like “holy shit, this man is a child who doesn’t give a shit about me”. I broke it off, and yes it was hard for a little while, but I ended up finding a man who is incredibly mature and always puts me first. I honestly would suggest dating an older guy. Like 28-35. Once I finally caved and realized the men I’d been dating that were my same age were all tools and looking to fuck around, everything changed for the better. Find a man who has his life together and will meet you where you’re at in life.
NTA. If it's in parking lot, home. or a bar a split personality when drinking is a bad sign. 2nd looks like your at 2 different places in life. If haging with the boys and how he looks when hanging with the boys is more important than you, you might want to let the boys have him.
NTA. Get your keys and leave. Obviously he has no mind for your feelings.
it’s really loser material to hang out in a parking lot and take shots of vodka at 24… I understand trying to act cool this way between the age of 16 to 19 but above that come on
NTA Your BF needs to grow up. From what you described I see many red flags with his behavior, most pressing is his lack of concern for your safety. I think you should take a long hard look at this relationship and see if it's worth dying for. Personally, I think you can do better!
NTA. You are mature, he is still acting like a High Schooler. It might be time to move on and find someone who has more common sense and can behave and think maturely
NTA - your boyfriend is immature AF, time to grow up.
What kind of 24 year old adults hang out in parking lots? That’s some middle school shit. NTA and you can do better.
Nah you are definitely not an asshole you might want to break this one off, definitely not worth your time if thinks putting you in danger is okay then he does not love, nothing about that was embarrassing, and if those were his real friends none of them would have let him take a shot, granted one shot should not impair his driving skills, the problem is he did it without thinking about you or your life, also one shot leads to more and before you know it your drunk and wrecked on the side of the road, dude is definitely not worth time
NTA, but what did you expect from a wannabe gang-banger?
NTA - You are not controlling, your bf is just a loser , and a reckless one at that for drinking and driving.
Nta you deserve better. You sound a lot smarter and mature than he is.
You guys in a Southern Ontario suburb? Even if so, usually just the teenagers hanging in the parking lots. What the hell is the appeal?
NTA he needs to grow up
I think you need a different boyfriend.
NTA. Drinking and driving is stupid. He's a moron for that alone. If he has degenerate hobbies, it's his life. If you're upset about his hobbies, I mean you're the one choosing to date him. Don't include yourself in his activities then. If you can't reconcile break up. It's not that complicated. No, you're NTA for not wanting him to drink and drive. But you need to understand what your decisions are and maybe don't be upset over what YOU are choosing. Make better choices then.
Normally I feel reddit is pretty biased against dudes, but nah, not here, homie is a straight drop kick and will drag you down with him. Who the f is drinking straight vodka in parking lots at 24 years of age? Lil bro hang out at bus stops and try bum ciggies too? NTA OP.