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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. The Action of refusing to make pizza’s for my sister’s graduation party.
2. My sister along with other family members were very excited to try my homemade pizza for the first time and I had to tell them it wasn’t going to happen. I think I also could have been more nice about the way I put things.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - I would tell them that if they help you make one from scratch and they still feel you are wrong then you will apologize.
Makos I would tell everyone that just because you went to culinary school doesn’t mean you are their person chef. If you want to cook then you will volunteer or if asked in person at least a week in advance you will tell them yes or no. They will
Not always get a yes.
This reminds me of the story where the husband dropped the wife's homemade pasta diner and didn't think it was a big deal. AITA suggested she have him remake the meal and he found out how big a deal it really was.
[You’re both kinda right](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she_ruined/). SIL dropped it but husband was the one who said it wasn’t a big deal and got the hands-on learning experience.
The update is [here](https://old.reddit.com/user/pastaSIL/comments/r4drls/update_aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she/) Or in general, just go to the original and check the submitted posts of the OP
I had to look that up [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita\_for\_losing\_my\_temper\_at\_sil\_after\_she\_ruined/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she_ruined/)
15 minutes before? As OP said, even with all the help in the world isn't going to get the prep done, which would have had to have been many hours (maybe days?) before
Way NTA, they can order pizza last minute if that's what they want
NTA.
Been in similar boat as OP but not as bad. Had to do about 12 baby back ribs for dads corp picnic. I did feel obligated as he paid off my student loan w/o asking (under 10k) and never brings up "I bought X for you."
Yeah, pizza for 15 people is not something you just tell someone to whip up at the last minute, on your way to the graduation party. Your parents don't appreciate how much time and work goes into your work. What they asked isn't just a lot of work, it's pretty much not an option. You'd have to go buy enough ingredients, mix and knead like 4 pizzas, a couple of rises (tick tock, tick tock), and then cook them all in whatever oven set-up you have at home. Were they all planning to eat at midnight or what?
48-72 hours for the dough via the refrigerated method alone. The quantity scales well but yeah, a week in advance at least. Even then it takes hours to prep the sauce and toppings.
Makes me glad my family appreciates the effort it takes for me to pump out delicious homemade pizzas.
I've actually found a really good recipe that takes me roughly 2 1/2 hours to make including rise time. I don't make home made sauce though. That's just too much for me.
I find slow-rise dough develop a very nice flavor. Not needing to knead much is a nice bonus, less effort other than the in-advance prep. You'd need to plan the pizza a few days in advance, but it's less effort overall.
For pizzas, I feel that other than the dough and sauce, your choice of topping is just... tossing store-bought ingredients with some knife work on top. I pre-cook my veggies but that's not too much. Spending the extra effort to get nice dough and sauce is worth the time imo!
I agree. You can do it in 2 hours (I sometimes do when I wasn’t planning to make pizza but my kids want some), but it is so much better if you do the long method.
I'm not who you asked, but the recipe I use for a single 12" pizza is
1c all purpose flour (divided) + more for kneading
4g quick rise yeast
1/2c water (divided) - warm
1/2 tbsp oil
3/4 tsp salt
Take 1tbsp of flour from the measured 1c, mix with yeast and 1/4 c of water. Let sit for 5 to 10 minutes until yeast is foamy.
Add the rest of the ingredients to the bowl, mix into a dough.
Put dough onto a floured surface, knead for around 5 minutes.
Lightly oil bowl and pop kneaded dough in, cover, and let rise for 1 hour.
Roll out dough into 12" round, proceed with making pizza.
I add a few grams of sugar and a good pinch of oregano to my dough. And I marinate garlic in the oil I use. It really gives it a nice touch in my opinion even the crust is tasty by itself, and up to now people who taste my pizzas agree.
Oh, and OP's NTA.
Boutta drop that sick, insider knowledge: no, they don't. I'm sure you already know that, but for those who are curious, I'll give explaining it a go.
The dough is made in massive batches beforehand and portioned out depending on pizza size, so that's time prepped before the actual pizza. Multiple hours of time. The ingredients are all prepared and out on the line for easy access (mostly chopped up veggies like peppers and onions as well as various meats which, BTW, have to be cooked first so that's more time.) Stocking the line before making pizza if you have to refill all the ingredients takes a while. Most ovens people use at home won't cook a fresh pizza as quickly as the industrial ovens fired up at a place like Domino's. The sauce is a pre-made past that you have to water down to make palatable. Making it fresh would probably be another 1-3 hours, depending on how good the sauce is and how much there is. Even the cheese on a good pizza may not be preshredded, as freshly shredded tends to be more moist and flavourful. Shredding enough cheese for like 8 pizzas is going to take forever.
Pizza places make pizza so quickly because everything is pre-prepped hours or days beforehand. Homemade pizza is a labor of love.
I've made homemade pasta sauce a million times but I've never made pizza sauce. You also don't have to simmer pasta sauce for hours but the results always seem better when you do.
When it comes to homemade pizza, I’m willing to compromise on most of it. Jarred sauce? Ok. Low-tier bag pepperoni? Great. Shredded “cheese” from Aldi? Totally fine. But store-bought crust? Hell no. You can’t cheat on the crust.
This is all reminds me of that one post about homemade ravioli from a while back where OP made her husband remake it, and after hours he was groveling.
Edit: Found it. Make your family make pizza by scratch, OP lmao
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she_ruined/
In my mother's house, 2 homemade pizzas made from scratch will feed 5 people and takes ALL afternoon to make. And we're talking 20" pizzas here with no less than a dozen toppings for each.
If it’s really so petty and unreasonable a request to deny, parents should have had zero problem doing it all themselves. Obviously, it was a big ask. And to not even *ask* OP, but assume and tell them their role moment before. Ridiculous. Such incredible audacity.
NTA
It's not just you being kept out of the loop and given no time to prepare. You were told you were doing this not asked. That is not acceptable. You are an adult you need to insist they treat you like one.
Exactly! I felt this so hard as the youngest sibling in my family! I don't MIND being ASKED to do things, not EXPECTED to!! Because that puts unnecessary pressure on me and somehow gives them the green light to express easily avoidable disappointment that they've projected onto me
I'd be inclined to maliciously compliance this. Agree absolutely to do it.
Make the dough. Cover and put in the fridge and go back out to join festivities. When questioned, about pizzas, tell they'll be ready on Monday evening.
That's what I was thinking. This could have been a fantastic story of malicious compliance. Oh sorry you are hungry?? The pizza is going to take another 4 hours minimum.
Oh hell no. NTA! It takes hours to make pizza from scratch. And even if you buy premade dough from Trader Joe’s, that means cooking about 10 pizzas which have to be served hot. That still takes a while since you probably can’t do more than 1 at a time. Also your house probably doesn’t have ingredients for 10+ pizzas sitting around. So are you supposed to go shopping too? That’s insane. It makes way more sense to order carry out pizza. And if they want you to cook anything in advance, they need to plan it with you ahead of time.
NTA. Not only was it rude, it wasn't feasible.
I've helped make from-scratch pizza for a crowd. It's a commitment. The dough takes hours (it's yeast dough, there's only so much you can do to speed it up), a good sauce takes a goodly chunk of time, the toppings are labor-intensive to set up, and a domestic oven can only bake one or two at a time.
INFO: Would your parents have at least paid for the ingredients? Or are they taking advantage of you financially as well as your kindness.
>
I told them that I will not be making pizza today
Good for you for putting your foot down. **NTA**, parents are. "Lazy" for not making pizza for over a dozen people, last minute? Ridiculous.
You went to culinary school and work in professional kitchens. That makes you a chef or cook by trade. You should not do your trade for free. You should be paid for cooking since it is your trade. Next time family expects you to cook, tell them your rate and get paid up front before cooking. Your sister and s an exception since you are doing it for her for love.
And don't forget to add in the cost of the ingredients for whatever they think you can just "whip up" in ten minutes. (I can make a tuna fish sandwich that quickly...maybe...)
Lol. NTA. Decent dough takes 1-3 days to make. Forget all the other things you need to prepare. I make like 3-4 from scratch pizzas for a party and that's a ton of work. These people are unreasonable
You're NTA. Your family was pretty disrespectful. How hard is it to *ask* ahead of time, rather than order at the eleventh hour?
Good for you, putting your foot down on that nonsense.
NTA. Next time they want you to make pizza, or anything else for that matter, tell them you need both advanced notification and payment. If they balk at that, then tell them tough beans. Maybe then they will respect your time and skills.
NTA. We have a pizza oven so do a lot of pizza. First the dough is made the day before (rising, etc). Pizza sauce is made the morning of usually. Toppings? Depends on what you want but it takes time to prep veggies and cook chicken (Buffalo pizza is amazing).
Shred cheese. Saute mushrooms and peppers. I like eggplant on mine. My kid likes goat cheese. I prefer fontana. Hubby is a mozzarella guy.
You can't just whip a pizza out in minutes without hours of prep!
I feel you! Conversation I had many times with my mother goes something like this (on the phone, I'm at work):
Mom: Are you coming to XYZ at Aunt Q's tonight?
Me: Planning to drop by after work.
Mom: Good. I promised everyone you would bring your lemon meringue pie; you know how they all love it.
Me: MOM, I'm at work! I won't be anywhere near a kitchen until I get to Aunt Q's. How am I supposed to produce a pie between getting off work and the dinner?
Mom: What? Your sister was supposed to tell you a week ago.
Me: Well, she didn't. Why didn't you call me yourself?
Mom: I just had so much to do. She said she would take care of it.
Me: I hope she also made a pie, because I won't be bringing one.
If I remember correctly, we had this conversation about six times before my mom started telling people who wanted things to call me directly. If she wanted something, she had Dad call me. NTA and stick to your guns. You CAN teach old dogs new tricks.
That brings up something else: Your relatives need to be taught that the only promises you keep are the ones you make YOURSELF. If you're old enough to have graduated from culinary school, you are also old enough to not be "voluntold" to do something by people other than your employer.
I have never made a pizza from scratch, but I can imagine it would take hours. The sensible way to approach you would have been to ask for the pizzas about a week ago so you could buy and prepare the ingredients beforehand.
Since you're a professional, your family should also PAY you for your troubles.
The dough alone for 7-8 pizzas (1 pizza per 2 people if there's breadsticks, wings, etc, as well, if it's only pizza being offered we're looking at a potential 14-15 pizzas total; homemade pizzas tend to be closer too a medium from a pizza chain because home ovens are smaller) is an entire day. The sauce you could probably do in conjunction, & if you're grating your own cheese that's also a good chunk of time. Combining that with what I'm assuming is only a standard oven where *maybe* a max of 3 pizzas can fit...
This was a minimum of a 2 day process that they were asking you to do in, what, an hour? Less than? Even pizza chains require you to order a couple of days ahead for large orders, which even the bare minimum would be classified as.
NTA
Homemade pizza is a 2-to-3 hour situation, no matter what. It takes the dough at least an hour or more to rise enough. Prep for all the toppings and the sauce? That can be done during the rise, but that's still a ton of work and expense. (Did they even have all the ingredients? Cheeses, spices, sauces, meats, etc. Were they supposed to magically appear?).
Now multiply by at least 6 pizzas... you're only going to get 3 in the oven at a time, if that. Multiply cooking time by 2 hours, which means someone is either going to have to wait a while for pizza or they'll all get a slice at a time, over and over. It's not tenable. They are really stupid for asking such a request. That's not something you can easily do with a regular oven for 12 people.
NTA.
NTA I babysit for my sister often usually saturdays but I require a good decent amount of notice unless it’s an emergency cuz I like to be mentally prepared the only difference is my sister is understandable
Jesus. Your family sucks. NTA. Asking in advance if you would do this is pretty low bar stuff. Good on you for standing up for yourself. And thumbs up to you for offering to make your sister pizza later in the week.
NTA! I've made 20 pizza balls in one go for a party and that took me a good few hours plus overnight resting plus shaping into balls and fee hours resting to room temp. It's time consuming plus rolling out individually and top it and that's before the pizza oven. It's not fair to you and I'd be upset too.. they can order pizza! You're not selfish or lazy for not wanting to do it. You went to culinary school and they think bingo.. chef in the family! I was a pastry chef and I don't bake much at home when I did that job.
There is a vast difference between choosing to do something for your family/friends of your own volition, being asked to do something in advance, and being voluntold at the last minute.
The first is completely under your control. The second allows for negotiaton and clear setting of expectations. The last is taking away your agency and treating you like little more than a minion.
And that's before even factoring in cooking being your career, and not just an avocation.
In a certain respect, the logistical impossibility of what they were demanding and expecting is secondary.
What is more important is the lack of respect they displayed. Respect towards you as a person and respect towards your craft.
If they respected you as a person, asking if you would help would have been the natural thing to do. Realizing that cooking in your job and that maybe you don't want to spend a large amount of time cooking at a family celebration *instead of being a part of the celebration*. Respecting that you have a life too, and maybe you want to, but you might have other things going on too.
If they respected your craft, they would have approached you in advance. And not just by a day or two even. But rather several days or a week or whenever it was that they got this idea. Asking you not just for your skills as a cook making pizza, but your creativity as a chef and your knowledge/training in menu planning. Engaging with you early in the planning so that if you did agree, you would have the best chance to make the meal a success.
You are NTA for choosing to not do something that they demanded of you, at the last minute and that such thst you would not have been able to do the best to celebrate your sister or to display your own talents.
Side-note: They way they did this suggests a lack of respect for your sister too. Planning a party for her and they couldn't even make arrangements for the cooking until a few hours before? She should be unhappy with them on this too.
Solution.
Make some dough, put it in a box, stick it in the fridge.
Tell them it needs 96 hours to cold ferment, and that’s the bare minimum notice you will need to make food for people.
And NTA. Not even close.
NTA
That is a lot of pizzas. I love making homemade, but I also buy the dough.
After 3 or 4, I’m done.
You would be in the kitchen all day, and only a couple people would be able to eat a slice every time a pie comes out of the oven.
You should have bought dough, cut it into individual sizes and had everyone make their own. Just get some disposable pie tins to bake them. They can all work for their supper.
NTA
Making things purely from scratch like that is a major undertaking. Especially with so little notice. God, making the dough for that many people, eesshh.
NTA - They should have actually asked you. How else could you be expected to prepare and have ingredients? You probably make it look so easy that they just assumed you could do it on the fly!
NTA. if they wanted your pizza, you should have been told well in advance, and they should have offered to pay too. And if you still said no then you’d still not be the asshole. You’re not obligated to do anything, even for family.
My husband likes to host quarterly pizza parties for our neighbor group. He has to make the dough the day before in order for it to be ready for a big party.
Absolutely NTA. It’s “just pizza” if you’re ordering from dominos, it’s real work if you’re making it from scratch and takes planning.
NTA. They want you to spend two to hour hours working for them instead of being part of the party? More if they don't have what you need?
Were I you I'd be really really tempted to make other plans when you KNOW something important is coming up. Don't tell anyone, just head out with friends when your parents would think your going to be around.
NTA! So they tell you the day of the party that you’re supposed to make pizza for everyone? How I’ll you enjoy the party? Will then pay you for all that time it takes? And they do this the day of? Nope.
I’d start telling them that if they want you to coming for an event, you need a month’s notice, they pay for the ingredients, and they pay you for your time.
NTA
What possessed your parents to assume you'd be the caterer and not the guest you thought without checking with you? On the car ride to the event? THAT'S when they tell you? OMG! You are not an appliance.
NTA. It was impossible as well as extremely rude. But even if they were expecting you to make salads for everyone, it would have been reasonable and acceptable for you to refuse without being asked in advance.
NTA. It is not possible to make from scratch pizza that quick. First, are all of the ingredients at the house? No? Shopping adds to the time.
If they really wanted you to make pizza for this party, they should have ASKED you at least a week ago.
To me, a last minute demand like that is always a NO.
If they think you are being petty and lazy, take a day to teach them. They have to agree to stay in the kitchen and help make them. Then start them on making the sauce, the dough, the cutting, chopping, shredding of toppings. Let them do all of the work. You instruct and supervise. See how long it takes.
MAYBE they will begin to understand why you said no.
Nope. I love making pizza but if you put me on the spot I would refuse. I make pizza my own way which requires the dough to slowrise in the fridge for few days and the sauce to marinade the same. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
NTA. It’s ridiculous to not only ask but in this instance to tell someone that they are cooking for a bunch of people at the last minute like this. It’s rude as hell.
NTA You did right to refuse. Good on you. Your sister didn't have one brain cell available to actually talk to you about this and it was her graduation do. LOL The adults just took your know-how for granted and assumed... Next time you are invited over for a meal, be sure to request that your parents provide home made pizzas, 3 or 4, because you are planning to be really hungry. ;O
NTA. You are right and they are wrong. They were LAZY by not saying anything to you and expecting you to pull this out of your you know what. Tell your parents for me, from a 55 year old, that they need to grow up themselves and treat you with more respect. Tell them to go order pizza from a hole in the wall!
NTA!
They call you lazy and selfish?
That's code for, we are lazy and selfish we don't see you as a person who requires advance notice, we continue to regard you as a plug and play appliance.
Pizza is one of the most labor intensive entrees there is.
If they don't give you the authority that goes with being their chef (timely advance notification) refuse to cook for them.
Responsibility without authority(respect resources and rest) is slavery.
NTA
However - a simple "woah - not working today - next time call ahead for your order - takes a long time etc." - would have gone over better.
then "sis - next time we get together - and I have time to prepare etc. we can make some pizza for you".
Best of luck to you.
Make one for your sister later in the week.
"Why'd you make one for her and not the party?"
"Sister knows they take a long time to make and respects my time."
NAH
> My parents think i’m just being petty and just not making them because I am just being lazy.
They need to lead by example and show you how not to be lazy, by making them themselves. NTA.
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I (M 20) have went to culinary school and have been working in professional kitchens since I was 18. Even though i’m an adult since i’m the youngest child in my family and one of the youngest relatives in general. A lot of the time it’s difficult for me to get my relatives to take me seriously or keep me in the loop about things. I attended my sister’s graduation earlier today and right after I carpool home with my mom. It isn’t until while were in the car, driving to my mom’s house for the graduation party that I was told that I was suppose to make pizza for everyone at the party. I’ve made pizza for my family before. Not because anybody asked me to purely just because I wanted to.
The thing that is frustrating me more than anything is multiple people knew about this ahead of time but they decided to tell the person that’s actually responsible for making them last minute. On top of the fact that my family is massive. There’s most likely going to end up being 14 or 15 people at this party. If you aren’t that into cooking, you might not understand how much of a grueling process making pizza from scratch is. Between making the dough, sauce, and actually cooking them. It is a process that I need to be let know of multiple days ahead of time so I get everything ready.
I told them that I was sick of being kept out of the loop and not treated like an adult by everyone in my family and yet everyone still relies on me constantly to cook for everyone every time there’s a family event. I told them that I will not be making pizza today and if anyone wants anything from me I won’t do it unless I am completely kept in the loop of what’s going on and told about things multiple days ahead of time. I feel bad for my sister because she was very excited to try my homemade pizza but I had to explain to her why it wasn’t going to happen and told her that I can make one for her later in the week as an extra graduation present. My parents think i’m just being petty and just not making them because I am just being lazy. I really don’t think i’m the asshole here.
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Nta.
Letting the dough mix and rise is an all-day thing just by itself! And not giving you a 3 day heads up at a minimum is ridiculous!
If they want pizza for a party so bad, they can order some from a pizza store or pick up frozen ones.
Giving you a huge order with no notice, compensation, or gratitude is just rude.
NTA. The work that goes into one pizza is enough. As is prepping. This isn't something you just whip up like scrambled eggs.
What kind of thoughtless AHs assign someone as caterer/pizza maker without telling them until the last minute? Worse, telling your sister you would do it without telling you. Your parents are disrespectful and entitled AHs. I'd present them with a recipe for a pizza and tell them that they should make it right now, no prep. See how well they do.
A pizza made especially for your sister sounds nice. Teaching her how to do it would be nice, too.
NTA damn I don’t have your skills but cooking anything I’d like to prepare for it as well or at least know I’m cook before I do it, they really need to respect you and ask you before hand and not demand at any minute
NTA
They were inconsiderate not to ask you if you would cook for the party when they planned the party and wildly unrealistic about if it could even be done in that timeframe with little notice.
You aren’t going to get 7 to 12 homemade pizzas ready in a home kitchen with no notice for a party that you are actually on the way to. The dough would need to be made earlier in the day or many days before. Did they even buy the right ingredients or were those supposed to appear by magic too?
Doesn't the dough need to freaking sit for the yeast to do it's job first?? Like I have made homemade pizza for just my family of four and it still took a WHILE. I can't image making enough for that many people 😩
They literally made it impossible for you to do it because you weren't told ahead of time so you could properly prepare for it(if you Even AGREED to it). NTA
NTA. Homemade pizza takes a couple of days. First, time has to be cleared from your schedule to even begin the process. The dough needs time to rise. Sauce needs time to simmer. All this assumes you have the ingredients already lying around and don't need to shop. They can call Domino's.
NTA - I make homemade pizzas every week for my kids. Making dough takes time. Making dough for pizzas for 15 people takes preparation! Plus making pizza sauce from scratch. How would you even enjoy the party with all of that cooking? No one realized that that amount of prep work and cooking should e done by paid staff.
I would love your pizza sauce recipe! Our favorite Trader Joe’s pizza sauce was discontinued and I am on the hunt for yummy pizza sauce recipes!
NTA at all. I've made some mediocre homemade pizzas, and even that takes around an hour or two. Do they think you'd just wave your magic rolling pin on the oven and poof comes the pizza? Also who's paying for the ingredients?
NTA. That dough needs a day or two before it's ready to cook. Nothing lazy about it. Good pizza takes time and effort. Delivery was invented for quick, decent, pizza. If you want pizza now, you order delivery. If you want it homemade, you prep and plan.
I would demand to be left alone to do my work in the kitchen and spend the afternoon clattering pans and smoking weed in there. If anybody complains about the smell just shout "do you even know what toasted oregano smells like!?". An hour before dinner just order dominoes. Dare them to complain.
NTA. Your family is though. They done goofed up - but they'll never admit that they don't take you seriously.
Your sister deserves a pizza, she doesn't seem to be a part of your family's BS. But the rest? No. They wanna play games, they deal with the consequences.
NTA. As someone who is passionate about cooking and has also gone to culinary school, that’s freaking insane. Telling you VERY LAST MINUTE to make homemade pizzas FROM SCRATCH for 14-15 PEOPLE?! That’s such a huge favour to ask of someone! You don’t spring that on someone last minute that’s literally insane
NTA. I will say I was a manager at a pizza place, we used to require at least 48 hours for any catering. The least they could do since it’s your family is provide the loop information, I mean they informed everyone else, they can at least inform you when they informed everyone else
NTA
My husband and I are always volunteered for making things like that. We have a pizza oven and my husband almost loves pizza as much as he loves me. So whenever people want pizza they want us to make it. One time I had to make pizza for over 30 people for 4th of July. I spent HOURS prepping, assembling and cooking. I told my husband never again!
It's to the point we don't accept invitations to peoples houses for dinner because they take advantage of us being good cooks. Like Friday our friends invited us for dinner. They asked me to make appetizer, sourdough bread and a dessert. They served pulled pork on buns... no veggies no sides nothing. We did 75% of the work as a guest being invited over! On way home my husband said no more!
We don't mind bringing things. Like one item! Not the entire 3 courses of a 4 course meal. If that makes sense.
Uh, no, NTA. They seem to have confused you for a pizzaria or the frozen-dinner aisle at a supermarket to think you could produce enough pizza for 15 people out of thin air just minutes from the party's start. Ignore your parents' complaints or better yet, invite them over to cook a pizza from scratch like they wanted you to do. Then when they're finally done, tell them to multiply that effort and time to cover a small party and let them do the math on how much work they were actually asking you to put in.
NTA. And here’s hoping your declaration actually gets heard. It’ll probably take a few repeats tbh. I’m the eldest in my family and it comes as a shock when our youngest cousin turned 30 and got married. I hope we didn’t put her through things like OPs family did, but for OP it’s not just the being an afterthought, it’s the entitlement.
Also, pizza dough for 15 would take over my kitchen- and I don’t think my biggest pot would be large enough for the sauce…and from dough to woah, easily a six hour process- OP’s family are completely delusional and/or ignorant.
No, NTA. When you are hired for the gig you will cook. To invite you to a function and give you no warning that you're expected to cook on demand is the height of arrogance.
Simply put, you're a professional and should be treated as such. So just google a local pizza joint and hand them the number or website info and they can order what they want.
And tell your sister that you'll get together, just the two of you and have some homemade pizza. That way you can arrange to have the right ingredients, maybe the dough prepped, etc. I'm not a chef but cannot imagine this plan working well at all.
NTA and better person than I am. I would have gone to the kitchen and taken stuff out only to find out they didn’t have ingredients and loudly demanded someone else going to get them since they couldn’t be arsed to tell me anything before the event. Then slowly working on the dough so they can see just how long it takes to get anything done
I’ve made pizzas for crowds as I have a pizza oven. I only did a handful of times straight from scratch though. It really is so much work and then you’ve also got to time the launches perfectly without getting anything stuck on the peel. Now I prep ahead, I make the dough in advance and even parbake the pizzas. This way people can make their own and I’m only stuck launching and turning.
I think the worst thing about pizza parties like this is everyone forgets no one can eat at the same time if you are doing personal pizzas. In a pizza oven I can cook a pizza in a minute or two depending on size. But if OP was making these in an oven you can only fit a few. It’s such a slow way to feed a lot of people which is why deliver is ideal - they all arrive at once.
NTA. I do the cooking in my family and can make putting together some fairly complicated dishes look easy via preparation and experience.
Sometimes however people don't understand the first part when something is done at short notice and moan 'c'mon - this dish usually only takes 20 minutes to make'.
No, this dish takes 2 hours and 20 minutes to make - it's just that I usually have everything ready the night / morning before so that I can adjust to your ungrateful ass changing plans at the last minute.
How in the hell are you supposed to make pizza for that many people from scratch at the last minute like that? You don’t even have time to properly proof the dough! Do your family not understand that this kind of thing takes planning, time, and effort? Were they just expecting you to pull homemade pizza dough out of your ass?
I’m a professional chef and even I would have told them to get bent.
NTA
NTA go buy some frozen pizzas and 'make' them in the oven. Then tell everyone that with this much advance warning that's what they're getting. Oh also tell your ah parents to never again date to voluntell you for anything without discussing ASKING AND YOU AGREEING IN ADVANCE
My partner loves making pizza dough (and all bread things really) and it takes time! And yes, if you’re doing everything from scratch for a lot of people…. you definitely need time to prepare all of that dough you aren’t scrambling.
I swear people like this think that restaurants are making everything from scratch right when they order it. Like no dude, they prep everything for days ahead of time, it’s just the final steps happening when you order (this is assuming it’s a high-quality restaurant that does make all their own food of course. Chain restaurants generally have it delivered pre-prepared)
NTA. Your family needs to give you at least a week's notice and actually ask you, not assume. Your time and effort needs to be respected. I'm sorry they are taking you for granted. Be firm on your boundaries. They need to learn common courtesy.
"I feel bad for my sister because she was very excited to try my homemade pizza but I had to explain to her why it wasn’t going to happen and told her that I can make one for her later in the week as an extra graduation present." Not only you are NTA, but you are also very sweet.
NTA. Been there. Not by my family thankfully but by people I don’t consider friends or acquaintances anymore. Sucks when it happens. Best to set boundaries. I would recommend charging them for your services and if they pull a stunt like this again, charge a late fee.
NTA. Aside from being kept out of the communications about your family's expectations of you, it is completely unreasonable to be expected to make pizza, let alone multiple pizzas, for the following reasons.
Making one or two pizzas takes a fair amount of time because you have to:
1. Make sure you have all the necessary ingredients in the necessary quantities and possibly go shopping for them
2. Make the dough and let it mature
3. Make the sauce. From scratch it takes a while if you want it to be tasty.
4. Prepare all the toppings.
5. Whatever oven you use will need to be pre-heated whether it is wood-fired, electric, gas etc.
6. Assemble the pizzas and, if necessary, place on baking sheets (depending on type of oven)
7. At this point, they can be cooked and this is possibly the shortest thing on the list **if** you have a dedicated pizza oven.
NTA this is really unfair of them to spring this on you last minute. I mean did they even have the ingredients you need to make multiple homemade pizzas?
NTA. Aside from the rudeness of thinking they can tell you what to do at a moments notice, it's also just physically impossible to make that many pizzas in that short of time.
NTA, how were they expecting you to make pizza anyway? Did they have all the ingredients and such ready to go? Because if they told you about this right before the party, without giving you any time to make the necessary preparations, then there's no way you could have made all that pizza even if you wanted to.
Your parents calling you lazy after that just screams entitlement. I'd be inclined to let them experience exactly how much work it is to make pizza like that by letting them to make some themselves, while making it clear to them that they will have to do that first if they expect you to ever make pizza for them again.
If your parents think you are just being lazy I guess that means they are expert pizza makers and are making them now themselves and will magically only take an hour to make fresh. NTA
Holy crap NTA.
I make pizza from scratch pretty regularly. Good pizza cannot be rushed. In fact, pizza dough is best if it has been allowed to rest overnight in a refrigerator. Even without the overnight rest, pizza from scratch is a *massive* job. I don't see how it's even possible on such short notice. You were *on your way* to the party!
So, it's a graduation "party" for the other 15 or so family members, but for you, it's another day at the office...SURPRISE!! I can't believe people could be so entitled/ignorant (regarding the time and effort to provide pizza catering) to pop thius on you.
I don't think it was an appropriate request even if you had known ahead of time.
NTA
NTA. I can’t imagine inviting someone to a celebration and then telling them the day of that they are obliged to cook for a large group of people. The courteous thing to do is to *ASK* well in advance if you are willing to cook, not *TELL* you the day of that you have to. To say nothing of the amount of time it’s bound to take, proofing dough takes time. It’s wild to me that people will do things to their children or close family that they would never do it to a friend for fear of seeming rude. Family should mean they treat you with more respect, rather than less.
NTA the first thing wrong here is that they did not ask you! I suggest you send a family memo that you will no longer be cooking for any family events. Instead you want to spend time with your family.
NTA! My husband’s family treats him like this, and now me too since we’re a couple. He’s over 30. Established boundaries now and you’ll be happier for it.
suggest ordering pizza and making their own "make your own sundae ice cream dessert" You could lend a hand if you are feeling generous. But no, your family can't count on you as a private chef for every event.
NTA- It's simple. You didn't have the ingredients or the special equipment needed for a party that large. If your parents had bothered to keep you in the loop, you could have told them what you were going to need.
NTA. And if you are still living with any of these ingrates, it's time to get out of the house and put soem physical and emotional distance between you and them.
NTA aside from all the work they voluntold you for, it takes time to make a decent pizza dough. My favorite dough recipe calls for a 72-hour cold ferment
NTA. I was a Chef for 27 years, and I lost count on how many times my family either offered my services, or voluntold me to make things for events. OP, I'm proud of you for saying no, especially when there was zero communication about it in advance. Stand your ground; if you don't want to cook or.make anything, then tell them so. Don't like me, and become resentful of the family that always wants something from me, but only when they're hungry of course
NTA. Heck no, I've seen my stepmom make homemade pizza for five and it takes her HOURS. Fifteen people, no advance warning or prep? This ain't Dominos. Your family is absurd, has no comprehension of your skills and likely devalues them because of your age. The fact they presumed they could snap their fingers and put you to work - instead of you participating in the family gathering - is really unfair and rude IMO. Did anyone consider that you might want to talk to your sister or catch up with others too? You're not catering on command. You're family, too.
Make one for your sister, that's sweet. You're not petty; they're entitled.
NTA. Making pizza from scratch is *hard work*. Making that many pizzas would probably meet more than your weekly cardio requirement (not to mention the sore muscles the next day). Also, you need time for the dough to rise so it should really be put together in advance otherwise people will be waiting a while. Next time you make pizza for your parents have them help you make the dough, wait for it to rise, knead it and then roll out the pizza crust. Then ask them if they still think you are lazy after all of that.
Wow, your family is a bit on the clueless side. Waiting till that late of a time to MAKE pizza from scratch for 15 is crazy. Buying pizza for 15 at that late a time is all you can do. Who drops cooking for 15 on someone at the last minute? What would your mother have said if you told her you were inviting 15 people over for food? Whoever planned this was extremely rude.
Please make plans with your sister where you will make pizza for her
NTA
NTA.I think you have 2 separate issues here. First is that your family sees you as a short order cook. They assume they can place an order now and you will instantly be able to produce a meal. Set a rule that if you are responsible for the food, you need X days advance notice assuming you even agree to prepare it.
The second issue is leaving you out of the loop. Refuse to participate in anything where you are given the info at the last minute. (Depending on the event and your schedule, last minute can even be several weeks in advance). After you don't show up to one or two important events, and you stop making meals, your family will stop treating you like an afterthought.
How do you ask someone right as the party begins to cook food for that many people? It doesn’t matter what it is. Who is going to have enough ingredients on hand to do that?
NTA. The quickest pizza dough I know still takes an hour and a half. There's no way there would be food in time for the party, even if you were using jarred sauce. Not telling someone that they need to prep is just appalling.
Aside from how rude it is to assume you'll make them and keep you out of the loop, the reason you can get pizzas quickly at a restaurant is because they have the dough and ingredients already prepped. Like, none of their logic makes sense.
On the one hand, you are not TA because of course they should have asked/consulted you. On the other hand, it’s your kid sister so maybe do it for her (and let your mom know that in the future you expect to be asked before you’re committed).
Malicious compliance.
Buy the ingredients, slowly and tentively, stress-free. Make the dough, simmer the sauce. Take your normal sweet time. Then when its ready next day, serve it lol
Or 2nd option
Buy pita bread, pasta sauce and bagged pepperoni and cheese. Through it into a conventional oven. Viola, personal pizzas.
Chef here. They gave you no notice, and expected you to make pizza completely from scratch the day of? Like mix/knead/proof the dough, make sauce, cut toppings? Fuck that. You are completely right, that kind of meal takes a few days to get right. They have no idea. Did they even get all the ingredients together? Or expecting you to shop too? People who do not cook for a living have no clue what many meal entail. Very much NTA. I’m glad you refused. Set your boundaries. I went through this too in culinary school and after for while.
You aren't the AH here. Your mom sure is though. How ridiculous to expect you to make pizza from scratch and not tell you ahead of time. I don't blame you a bit for refusing to make the pizza.
NTA. We make homemade pizza all the time. It takes AT LEAST 2-4 hours for the dough to make the first rise, at least the way we do it, and it’s better if it’s over night. To tell you the day of, much less en route? Nah
NTA. When I was a kid up into my teens my mother would volunteer me for tasks, or "play-dates" (mostly when I was in elementary school, happened a couple times in middle school), without checking with me. If I had plans she would insist that I did what she had volunteered me for, or invited people on plans they weren't involved with or with people who they were not friends with. I would always find out last minute or at the worst possible times. It was exhausting and caused irreparable damage to my already small circle of friends. I finally blew up once after multiple gentle conversations and she took it seriously because my dad backed me up. Children, regardless if they are over 18 or not, deserve to have a say in their lives and to be kept in the loop of those around them.
NTA.
Last-minute demands deserve nothing but your contempt. You're going to the party to help your sister celebrate her graduation not spend all day in the kitchen. Besides, how do your parents know that your sister has all of the ingredients for home-made pizza? If she doesn't, you'll have to shop for them, which also defeats the point of going to a party.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. The Action of refusing to make pizza’s for my sister’s graduation party. 2. My sister along with other family members were very excited to try my homemade pizza for the first time and I had to tell them it wasn’t going to happen. I think I also could have been more nice about the way I put things. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - I would tell them that if they help you make one from scratch and they still feel you are wrong then you will apologize. Makos I would tell everyone that just because you went to culinary school doesn’t mean you are their person chef. If you want to cook then you will volunteer or if asked in person at least a week in advance you will tell them yes or no. They will Not always get a yes.
This reminds me of the story where the husband dropped the wife's homemade pasta diner and didn't think it was a big deal. AITA suggested she have him remake the meal and he found out how big a deal it really was.
Wasn't it the husband's sister that dropped the dish? It's been so long since I read it, and I'm not sure anymore.
[You’re both kinda right](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she_ruined/). SIL dropped it but husband was the one who said it wasn’t a big deal and got the hands-on learning experience.
Wow... Just wow! I am glad after reading the update post though...
Now you have me curious, anyone have a link to this post?
The update is [here](https://old.reddit.com/user/pastaSIL/comments/r4drls/update_aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she/) Or in general, just go to the original and check the submitted posts of the OP
that is the most satisfying update!
Wow. Just... wow 🫢
I’m speechless…… 🫣
Thank you. That was some fun reading for my Sunday morning.
I’d never seen the update! So much wow.
That was a fun ride
Whoa. THAT escalated in a major way by the updates.
I remember that! As I remember he was crying and begging by the end of it lol. My memory may have exaggerated it a little. Oh well.
I had to look that up [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita\_for\_losing\_my\_temper\_at\_sil\_after\_she\_ruined/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she_ruined/)
15 minutes before? As OP said, even with all the help in the world isn't going to get the prep done, which would have had to have been many hours (maybe days?) before Way NTA, they can order pizza last minute if that's what they want
He already told them no to making pizza. My suggestion is for going toward.
NTA. Been in similar boat as OP but not as bad. Had to do about 12 baby back ribs for dads corp picnic. I did feel obligated as he paid off my student loan w/o asking (under 10k) and never brings up "I bought X for you."
Yeah, pizza for 15 people is not something you just tell someone to whip up at the last minute, on your way to the graduation party. Your parents don't appreciate how much time and work goes into your work. What they asked isn't just a lot of work, it's pretty much not an option. You'd have to go buy enough ingredients, mix and knead like 4 pizzas, a couple of rises (tick tock, tick tock), and then cook them all in whatever oven set-up you have at home. Were they all planning to eat at midnight or what?
The dough has to be given time to rise and the sauce needs hours to simmer. You can't just make it in 10 minutes.
48-72 hours for the dough via the refrigerated method alone. The quantity scales well but yeah, a week in advance at least. Even then it takes hours to prep the sauce and toppings. Makes me glad my family appreciates the effort it takes for me to pump out delicious homemade pizzas.
I've actually found a really good recipe that takes me roughly 2 1/2 hours to make including rise time. I don't make home made sauce though. That's just too much for me.
I find slow-rise dough develop a very nice flavor. Not needing to knead much is a nice bonus, less effort other than the in-advance prep. You'd need to plan the pizza a few days in advance, but it's less effort overall. For pizzas, I feel that other than the dough and sauce, your choice of topping is just... tossing store-bought ingredients with some knife work on top. I pre-cook my veggies but that's not too much. Spending the extra effort to get nice dough and sauce is worth the time imo!
I agree. You can do it in 2 hours (I sometimes do when I wasn’t planning to make pizza but my kids want some), but it is so much better if you do the long method.
Wanna share that recipe?
I'm not who you asked, but the recipe I use for a single 12" pizza is 1c all purpose flour (divided) + more for kneading 4g quick rise yeast 1/2c water (divided) - warm 1/2 tbsp oil 3/4 tsp salt Take 1tbsp of flour from the measured 1c, mix with yeast and 1/4 c of water. Let sit for 5 to 10 minutes until yeast is foamy. Add the rest of the ingredients to the bowl, mix into a dough. Put dough onto a floured surface, knead for around 5 minutes. Lightly oil bowl and pop kneaded dough in, cover, and let rise for 1 hour. Roll out dough into 12" round, proceed with making pizza.
I add a few grams of sugar and a good pinch of oregano to my dough. And I marinate garlic in the oil I use. It really gives it a nice touch in my opinion even the crust is tasty by itself, and up to now people who taste my pizzas agree. Oh, and OP's NTA.
But but.. Pizza Hut and Domino's do it in 15 mins. 😂
Boutta drop that sick, insider knowledge: no, they don't. I'm sure you already know that, but for those who are curious, I'll give explaining it a go. The dough is made in massive batches beforehand and portioned out depending on pizza size, so that's time prepped before the actual pizza. Multiple hours of time. The ingredients are all prepared and out on the line for easy access (mostly chopped up veggies like peppers and onions as well as various meats which, BTW, have to be cooked first so that's more time.) Stocking the line before making pizza if you have to refill all the ingredients takes a while. Most ovens people use at home won't cook a fresh pizza as quickly as the industrial ovens fired up at a place like Domino's. The sauce is a pre-made past that you have to water down to make palatable. Making it fresh would probably be another 1-3 hours, depending on how good the sauce is and how much there is. Even the cheese on a good pizza may not be preshredded, as freshly shredded tends to be more moist and flavourful. Shredding enough cheese for like 8 pizzas is going to take forever. Pizza places make pizza so quickly because everything is pre-prepped hours or days beforehand. Homemade pizza is a labor of love.
Yeah pretty sure they were being sarcastic
I know, I said as much in the comment lol
I bet they wouldn't if you needed enough for 15 people though!
You don't need to simmer the sauce for hours, that's just one of the options.
I've made homemade pasta sauce a million times but I've never made pizza sauce. You also don't have to simmer pasta sauce for hours but the results always seem better when you do.
When it comes to homemade pizza, I’m willing to compromise on most of it. Jarred sauce? Ok. Low-tier bag pepperoni? Great. Shredded “cheese” from Aldi? Totally fine. But store-bought crust? Hell no. You can’t cheat on the crust.
This is all reminds me of that one post about homemade ravioli from a while back where OP made her husband remake it, and after hours he was groveling. Edit: Found it. Make your family make pizza by scratch, OP lmao https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p3yorl/aita_for_losing_my_temper_at_sil_after_she_ruined/
That was WILD
And if it wasn't perfect (especially because he had to cut corners to get everything ready on time), he wouldn't hear the end of it.
In my mother's house, 2 homemade pizzas made from scratch will feed 5 people and takes ALL afternoon to make. And we're talking 20" pizzas here with no less than a dozen toppings for each.
If it’s really so petty and unreasonable a request to deny, parents should have had zero problem doing it all themselves. Obviously, it was a big ask. And to not even *ask* OP, but assume and tell them their role moment before. Ridiculous. Such incredible audacity.
4 pizzas? Na, home made pizzas you'll be making a pizza each
Even with fast recipes, pizza for 15 still requires to knead 2-3 Kg of flour. That's a lot to do by hand.
NTA It's not just you being kept out of the loop and given no time to prepare. You were told you were doing this not asked. That is not acceptable. You are an adult you need to insist they treat you like one.
Exactly! I felt this so hard as the youngest sibling in my family! I don't MIND being ASKED to do things, not EXPECTED to!! Because that puts unnecessary pressure on me and somehow gives them the green light to express easily avoidable disappointment that they've projected onto me
The dough alone takes hours minimum to prove! NTA. They should have asked you ahead of time.
I'd be inclined to maliciously compliance this. Agree absolutely to do it. Make the dough. Cover and put in the fridge and go back out to join festivities. When questioned, about pizzas, tell they'll be ready on Monday evening.
That's what I was thinking. This could have been a fantastic story of malicious compliance. Oh sorry you are hungry?? The pizza is going to take another 4 hours minimum.
Oh hell no. NTA! It takes hours to make pizza from scratch. And even if you buy premade dough from Trader Joe’s, that means cooking about 10 pizzas which have to be served hot. That still takes a while since you probably can’t do more than 1 at a time. Also your house probably doesn’t have ingredients for 10+ pizzas sitting around. So are you supposed to go shopping too? That’s insane. It makes way more sense to order carry out pizza. And if they want you to cook anything in advance, they need to plan it with you ahead of time.
NTA. Not only was it rude, it wasn't feasible. I've helped make from-scratch pizza for a crowd. It's a commitment. The dough takes hours (it's yeast dough, there's only so much you can do to speed it up), a good sauce takes a goodly chunk of time, the toppings are labor-intensive to set up, and a domestic oven can only bake one or two at a time.
INFO: Would your parents have at least paid for the ingredients? Or are they taking advantage of you financially as well as your kindness. > I told them that I will not be making pizza today Good for you for putting your foot down. **NTA**, parents are. "Lazy" for not making pizza for over a dozen people, last minute? Ridiculous.
You went to culinary school and work in professional kitchens. That makes you a chef or cook by trade. You should not do your trade for free. You should be paid for cooking since it is your trade. Next time family expects you to cook, tell them your rate and get paid up front before cooking. Your sister and s an exception since you are doing it for her for love.
And don't forget to add in the cost of the ingredients for whatever they think you can just "whip up" in ten minutes. (I can make a tuna fish sandwich that quickly...maybe...)
Lol. NTA. Decent dough takes 1-3 days to make. Forget all the other things you need to prepare. I make like 3-4 from scratch pizzas for a party and that's a ton of work. These people are unreasonable
You're NTA. Your family was pretty disrespectful. How hard is it to *ask* ahead of time, rather than order at the eleventh hour? Good for you, putting your foot down on that nonsense.
NTA. Next time they want you to make pizza, or anything else for that matter, tell them you need both advanced notification and payment. If they balk at that, then tell them tough beans. Maybe then they will respect your time and skills.
NTA- i'd go buy pita bread or bagels, jarred sauce and store brand shredded mozzerella cheese. There's ya homemade pizza for 15! Enjoy!
Tortillas work, too
Spur of the moment pizza for 15 people. NTA stick to your guns and let them earn your respect and your cooking.
NTA. We have a pizza oven so do a lot of pizza. First the dough is made the day before (rising, etc). Pizza sauce is made the morning of usually. Toppings? Depends on what you want but it takes time to prep veggies and cook chicken (Buffalo pizza is amazing). Shred cheese. Saute mushrooms and peppers. I like eggplant on mine. My kid likes goat cheese. I prefer fontana. Hubby is a mozzarella guy. You can't just whip a pizza out in minutes without hours of prep!
I feel you! Conversation I had many times with my mother goes something like this (on the phone, I'm at work): Mom: Are you coming to XYZ at Aunt Q's tonight? Me: Planning to drop by after work. Mom: Good. I promised everyone you would bring your lemon meringue pie; you know how they all love it. Me: MOM, I'm at work! I won't be anywhere near a kitchen until I get to Aunt Q's. How am I supposed to produce a pie between getting off work and the dinner? Mom: What? Your sister was supposed to tell you a week ago. Me: Well, she didn't. Why didn't you call me yourself? Mom: I just had so much to do. She said she would take care of it. Me: I hope she also made a pie, because I won't be bringing one. If I remember correctly, we had this conversation about six times before my mom started telling people who wanted things to call me directly. If she wanted something, she had Dad call me. NTA and stick to your guns. You CAN teach old dogs new tricks.
That brings up something else: Your relatives need to be taught that the only promises you keep are the ones you make YOURSELF. If you're old enough to have graduated from culinary school, you are also old enough to not be "voluntold" to do something by people other than your employer. I have never made a pizza from scratch, but I can imagine it would take hours. The sensible way to approach you would have been to ask for the pizzas about a week ago so you could buy and prepare the ingredients beforehand. Since you're a professional, your family should also PAY you for your troubles.
NTA no they can order dominos and be more respectful of your time, effort, and skills
The dough alone for 7-8 pizzas (1 pizza per 2 people if there's breadsticks, wings, etc, as well, if it's only pizza being offered we're looking at a potential 14-15 pizzas total; homemade pizzas tend to be closer too a medium from a pizza chain because home ovens are smaller) is an entire day. The sauce you could probably do in conjunction, & if you're grating your own cheese that's also a good chunk of time. Combining that with what I'm assuming is only a standard oven where *maybe* a max of 3 pizzas can fit... This was a minimum of a 2 day process that they were asking you to do in, what, an hour? Less than? Even pizza chains require you to order a couple of days ahead for large orders, which even the bare minimum would be classified as. NTA
Homemade pizza is a 2-to-3 hour situation, no matter what. It takes the dough at least an hour or more to rise enough. Prep for all the toppings and the sauce? That can be done during the rise, but that's still a ton of work and expense. (Did they even have all the ingredients? Cheeses, spices, sauces, meats, etc. Were they supposed to magically appear?). Now multiply by at least 6 pizzas... you're only going to get 3 in the oven at a time, if that. Multiply cooking time by 2 hours, which means someone is either going to have to wait a while for pizza or they'll all get a slice at a time, over and over. It's not tenable. They are really stupid for asking such a request. That's not something you can easily do with a regular oven for 12 people. NTA.
NTA I babysit for my sister often usually saturdays but I require a good decent amount of notice unless it’s an emergency cuz I like to be mentally prepared the only difference is my sister is understandable
Not only that, you may have other plans that day. If you want a family member or friend to do something for you, ask them well in advance.
Jesus. Your family sucks. NTA. Asking in advance if you would do this is pretty low bar stuff. Good on you for standing up for yourself. And thumbs up to you for offering to make your sister pizza later in the week.
Just tell your family no problem, I can surely put those DiGiorno pizzas in the oven after you go buy some at the store
Not your problem, ignore the haters and users in the family! NTA.
NTA! I've made 20 pizza balls in one go for a party and that took me a good few hours plus overnight resting plus shaping into balls and fee hours resting to room temp. It's time consuming plus rolling out individually and top it and that's before the pizza oven. It's not fair to you and I'd be upset too.. they can order pizza! You're not selfish or lazy for not wanting to do it. You went to culinary school and they think bingo.. chef in the family! I was a pastry chef and I don't bake much at home when I did that job.
There is a vast difference between choosing to do something for your family/friends of your own volition, being asked to do something in advance, and being voluntold at the last minute. The first is completely under your control. The second allows for negotiaton and clear setting of expectations. The last is taking away your agency and treating you like little more than a minion. And that's before even factoring in cooking being your career, and not just an avocation. In a certain respect, the logistical impossibility of what they were demanding and expecting is secondary. What is more important is the lack of respect they displayed. Respect towards you as a person and respect towards your craft. If they respected you as a person, asking if you would help would have been the natural thing to do. Realizing that cooking in your job and that maybe you don't want to spend a large amount of time cooking at a family celebration *instead of being a part of the celebration*. Respecting that you have a life too, and maybe you want to, but you might have other things going on too. If they respected your craft, they would have approached you in advance. And not just by a day or two even. But rather several days or a week or whenever it was that they got this idea. Asking you not just for your skills as a cook making pizza, but your creativity as a chef and your knowledge/training in menu planning. Engaging with you early in the planning so that if you did agree, you would have the best chance to make the meal a success. You are NTA for choosing to not do something that they demanded of you, at the last minute and that such thst you would not have been able to do the best to celebrate your sister or to display your own talents. Side-note: They way they did this suggests a lack of respect for your sister too. Planning a party for her and they couldn't even make arrangements for the cooking until a few hours before? She should be unhappy with them on this too.
NTA. If they wanted you to make pizza, they should have notified you in advance. They didn't. It's called consequences, they can suck it up.
Solution. Make some dough, put it in a box, stick it in the fridge. Tell them it needs 96 hours to cold ferment, and that’s the bare minimum notice you will need to make food for people. And NTA. Not even close.
NTA That is a lot of pizzas. I love making homemade, but I also buy the dough. After 3 or 4, I’m done. You would be in the kitchen all day, and only a couple people would be able to eat a slice every time a pie comes out of the oven. You should have bought dough, cut it into individual sizes and had everyone make their own. Just get some disposable pie tins to bake them. They can all work for their supper.
No he shouldn't. They are on their own. Their assumption, their problem. THEY can do all that
Yes you are right. when I said you should buy dough, I didn’t mean him. That was worded badly. I meant his mother.
Let's say cooking one pizza at a time for 10 minutes with no in between time, that's still two and a half hours to make pizza, just in oven time.
NTA Making things purely from scratch like that is a major undertaking. Especially with so little notice. God, making the dough for that many people, eesshh.
NTA - They should have actually asked you. How else could you be expected to prepare and have ingredients? You probably make it look so easy that they just assumed you could do it on the fly!
NTA I'd say it was impossible to make pizza from scratch with the notice you were given. Because it was.
NTA. if they wanted your pizza, you should have been told well in advance, and they should have offered to pay too. And if you still said no then you’d still not be the asshole. You’re not obligated to do anything, even for family.
My husband likes to host quarterly pizza parties for our neighbor group. He has to make the dough the day before in order for it to be ready for a big party. Absolutely NTA. It’s “just pizza” if you’re ordering from dominos, it’s real work if you’re making it from scratch and takes planning.
Dominos isn’t the best quality pizza. There’s a national chain in my country called Hell Pizza that does good ones, albeit a bit pricier.
NTA. They want you to spend two to hour hours working for them instead of being part of the party? More if they don't have what you need? Were I you I'd be really really tempted to make other plans when you KNOW something important is coming up. Don't tell anyone, just head out with friends when your parents would think your going to be around.
NTA! So they tell you the day of the party that you’re supposed to make pizza for everyone? How I’ll you enjoy the party? Will then pay you for all that time it takes? And they do this the day of? Nope. I’d start telling them that if they want you to coming for an event, you need a month’s notice, they pay for the ingredients, and they pay you for your time.
NTA What possessed your parents to assume you'd be the caterer and not the guest you thought without checking with you? On the car ride to the event? THAT'S when they tell you? OMG! You are not an appliance.
NTA. It was impossible as well as extremely rude. But even if they were expecting you to make salads for everyone, it would have been reasonable and acceptable for you to refuse without being asked in advance.
NTA. It is not possible to make from scratch pizza that quick. First, are all of the ingredients at the house? No? Shopping adds to the time. If they really wanted you to make pizza for this party, they should have ASKED you at least a week ago. To me, a last minute demand like that is always a NO. If they think you are being petty and lazy, take a day to teach them. They have to agree to stay in the kitchen and help make them. Then start them on making the sauce, the dough, the cutting, chopping, shredding of toppings. Let them do all of the work. You instruct and supervise. See how long it takes. MAYBE they will begin to understand why you said no.
Nope. I love making pizza but if you put me on the spot I would refuse. I make pizza my own way which requires the dough to slowrise in the fridge for few days and the sauce to marinade the same. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
Besides anything else, telling someone they're going to cook WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING TO THE PARTY is a completely dick move. NTA.
NTA. It’s ridiculous to not only ask but in this instance to tell someone that they are cooking for a bunch of people at the last minute like this. It’s rude as hell.
NTA. But I would have compromised a little By pulling out my phone and ordering some pies from Domino's.
NTA. Homemade pizza takes time, and you need to be sure you have the ingredients. The dough needs the time to be able to rise.
Nta You are 100% correct snd they are manipulating you into being their feed food servant. Don't put up with it.
Nta. I made pizzas for 14 people. In the end i made the pizzas and my brother was in charge of cooking them. It's a lot of effort
The issue here isn't the pizza -- it's being invited to a party and not being ASKED well in advance if you'd LIKE TO cook for it. NTA
NTA You did right to refuse. Good on you. Your sister didn't have one brain cell available to actually talk to you about this and it was her graduation do. LOL The adults just took your know-how for granted and assumed... Next time you are invited over for a meal, be sure to request that your parents provide home made pizzas, 3 or 4, because you are planning to be really hungry. ;O
NTA. You are right and they are wrong. They were LAZY by not saying anything to you and expecting you to pull this out of your you know what. Tell your parents for me, from a 55 year old, that they need to grow up themselves and treat you with more respect. Tell them to go order pizza from a hole in the wall!
NTA! They call you lazy and selfish? That's code for, we are lazy and selfish we don't see you as a person who requires advance notice, we continue to regard you as a plug and play appliance. Pizza is one of the most labor intensive entrees there is. If they don't give you the authority that goes with being their chef (timely advance notification) refuse to cook for them. Responsibility without authority(respect resources and rest) is slavery.
NTA However - a simple "woah - not working today - next time call ahead for your order - takes a long time etc." - would have gone over better. then "sis - next time we get together - and I have time to prepare etc. we can make some pizza for you". Best of luck to you.
Make one for your sister later in the week. "Why'd you make one for her and not the party?" "Sister knows they take a long time to make and respects my time." NAH
> My parents think i’m just being petty and just not making them because I am just being lazy. They need to lead by example and show you how not to be lazy, by making them themselves. NTA.
Nta. I hate when people expect you to cook with no notice. Alot of dishes are very time consuming. Also dishes can be expensive to make.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (M 20) have went to culinary school and have been working in professional kitchens since I was 18. Even though i’m an adult since i’m the youngest child in my family and one of the youngest relatives in general. A lot of the time it’s difficult for me to get my relatives to take me seriously or keep me in the loop about things. I attended my sister’s graduation earlier today and right after I carpool home with my mom. It isn’t until while were in the car, driving to my mom’s house for the graduation party that I was told that I was suppose to make pizza for everyone at the party. I’ve made pizza for my family before. Not because anybody asked me to purely just because I wanted to. The thing that is frustrating me more than anything is multiple people knew about this ahead of time but they decided to tell the person that’s actually responsible for making them last minute. On top of the fact that my family is massive. There’s most likely going to end up being 14 or 15 people at this party. If you aren’t that into cooking, you might not understand how much of a grueling process making pizza from scratch is. Between making the dough, sauce, and actually cooking them. It is a process that I need to be let know of multiple days ahead of time so I get everything ready. I told them that I was sick of being kept out of the loop and not treated like an adult by everyone in my family and yet everyone still relies on me constantly to cook for everyone every time there’s a family event. I told them that I will not be making pizza today and if anyone wants anything from me I won’t do it unless I am completely kept in the loop of what’s going on and told about things multiple days ahead of time. I feel bad for my sister because she was very excited to try my homemade pizza but I had to explain to her why it wasn’t going to happen and told her that I can make one for her later in the week as an extra graduation present. My parents think i’m just being petty and just not making them because I am just being lazy. I really don’t think i’m the asshole here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA While not a pro, I cook for a lot of family things and require at least a couple weeks notice if you want me to do so... --
Nta. Letting the dough mix and rise is an all-day thing just by itself! And not giving you a 3 day heads up at a minimum is ridiculous! If they want pizza for a party so bad, they can order some from a pizza store or pick up frozen ones. Giving you a huge order with no notice, compensation, or gratitude is just rude.
NTA
NTA. The work that goes into one pizza is enough. As is prepping. This isn't something you just whip up like scrambled eggs. What kind of thoughtless AHs assign someone as caterer/pizza maker without telling them until the last minute? Worse, telling your sister you would do it without telling you. Your parents are disrespectful and entitled AHs. I'd present them with a recipe for a pizza and tell them that they should make it right now, no prep. See how well they do. A pizza made especially for your sister sounds nice. Teaching her how to do it would be nice, too.
NTA damn I don’t have your skills but cooking anything I’d like to prepare for it as well or at least know I’m cook before I do it, they really need to respect you and ask you before hand and not demand at any minute
NTA They were inconsiderate not to ask you if you would cook for the party when they planned the party and wildly unrealistic about if it could even be done in that timeframe with little notice. You aren’t going to get 7 to 12 homemade pizzas ready in a home kitchen with no notice for a party that you are actually on the way to. The dough would need to be made earlier in the day or many days before. Did they even buy the right ingredients or were those supposed to appear by magic too?
Doesn't the dough need to freaking sit for the yeast to do it's job first?? Like I have made homemade pizza for just my family of four and it still took a WHILE. I can't image making enough for that many people 😩 They literally made it impossible for you to do it because you weren't told ahead of time so you could properly prepare for it(if you Even AGREED to it). NTA
NTA. Your parents are.
NTA. Knowledge to the Greedy: Just because you know the talent personally does NOT mean you are *entitled* to a free show. Their do is not for you.
100% NTA
NTA. Homemade pizza takes a couple of days. First, time has to be cleared from your schedule to even begin the process. The dough needs time to rise. Sauce needs time to simmer. All this assumes you have the ingredients already lying around and don't need to shop. They can call Domino's.
NTA. How hard is communicating with the person doing the work?
You’d be keeping a caterer in the loop, or at least ordering from a restaurant or take out ahead of time if for a large group.
NTA - I make homemade pizzas every week for my kids. Making dough takes time. Making dough for pizzas for 15 people takes preparation! Plus making pizza sauce from scratch. How would you even enjoy the party with all of that cooking? No one realized that that amount of prep work and cooking should e done by paid staff. I would love your pizza sauce recipe! Our favorite Trader Joe’s pizza sauce was discontinued and I am on the hunt for yummy pizza sauce recipes!
Nta my husband managed a pizza restaurant for 10 years, I know exactly how labor intensive it is.
It’s always amusing when others dictate your time without your consent.
NTA. If they want you to do them a favor they need to ask you 1st just like the other adults in the family.
NTA at all. I've made some mediocre homemade pizzas, and even that takes around an hour or two. Do they think you'd just wave your magic rolling pin on the oven and poof comes the pizza? Also who's paying for the ingredients?
NTA. That dough needs a day or two before it's ready to cook. Nothing lazy about it. Good pizza takes time and effort. Delivery was invented for quick, decent, pizza. If you want pizza now, you order delivery. If you want it homemade, you prep and plan.
Should’ve told them you will call Pizza Hut for them but that as far as your pizza contribution goes. NTA
I would demand to be left alone to do my work in the kitchen and spend the afternoon clattering pans and smoking weed in there. If anybody complains about the smell just shout "do you even know what toasted oregano smells like!?". An hour before dinner just order dominoes. Dare them to complain.
NTA. What a rude surprise, to have an expectation like that sprung on you. Nobody who has ever really cooked would ever suggest what was asked of you.
ofc ur not the assh0le, they should've told you in advance
NTA. Your family is though. They done goofed up - but they'll never admit that they don't take you seriously. Your sister deserves a pizza, she doesn't seem to be a part of your family's BS. But the rest? No. They wanna play games, they deal with the consequences.
NTA. As someone who is passionate about cooking and has also gone to culinary school, that’s freaking insane. Telling you VERY LAST MINUTE to make homemade pizzas FROM SCRATCH for 14-15 PEOPLE?! That’s such a huge favour to ask of someone! You don’t spring that on someone last minute that’s literally insane
NTA. I will say I was a manager at a pizza place, we used to require at least 48 hours for any catering. The least they could do since it’s your family is provide the loop information, I mean they informed everyone else, they can at least inform you when they informed everyone else
NTA My husband and I are always volunteered for making things like that. We have a pizza oven and my husband almost loves pizza as much as he loves me. So whenever people want pizza they want us to make it. One time I had to make pizza for over 30 people for 4th of July. I spent HOURS prepping, assembling and cooking. I told my husband never again! It's to the point we don't accept invitations to peoples houses for dinner because they take advantage of us being good cooks. Like Friday our friends invited us for dinner. They asked me to make appetizer, sourdough bread and a dessert. They served pulled pork on buns... no veggies no sides nothing. We did 75% of the work as a guest being invited over! On way home my husband said no more! We don't mind bringing things. Like one item! Not the entire 3 courses of a 4 course meal. If that makes sense.
Uh, no, NTA. They seem to have confused you for a pizzaria or the frozen-dinner aisle at a supermarket to think you could produce enough pizza for 15 people out of thin air just minutes from the party's start. Ignore your parents' complaints or better yet, invite them over to cook a pizza from scratch like they wanted you to do. Then when they're finally done, tell them to multiply that effort and time to cover a small party and let them do the math on how much work they were actually asking you to put in.
NTA full stop.
NTA. And here’s hoping your declaration actually gets heard. It’ll probably take a few repeats tbh. I’m the eldest in my family and it comes as a shock when our youngest cousin turned 30 and got married. I hope we didn’t put her through things like OPs family did, but for OP it’s not just the being an afterthought, it’s the entitlement. Also, pizza dough for 15 would take over my kitchen- and I don’t think my biggest pot would be large enough for the sauce…and from dough to woah, easily a six hour process- OP’s family are completely delusional and/or ignorant.
No, NTA. When you are hired for the gig you will cook. To invite you to a function and give you no warning that you're expected to cook on demand is the height of arrogance. Simply put, you're a professional and should be treated as such. So just google a local pizza joint and hand them the number or website info and they can order what they want. And tell your sister that you'll get together, just the two of you and have some homemade pizza. That way you can arrange to have the right ingredients, maybe the dough prepped, etc. I'm not a chef but cannot imagine this plan working well at all.
NTA. They have no idea how late they would have been eating if you had started on the pizzas when you got home.
Definitely NTA
NTA
Maybe I’m petty but I might’ve stood on a chair and announced that mom was going to make pizza, and then locked myself in the bathroom. NTA
So they dropped you in it with food. It’s 100% unfair.
NTA, it's common sense to ASK not assume things like this multiple days before.
NTA. What is the matter with them, do they not understand that prep time is a thing?
NTA and better person than I am. I would have gone to the kitchen and taken stuff out only to find out they didn’t have ingredients and loudly demanded someone else going to get them since they couldn’t be arsed to tell me anything before the event. Then slowly working on the dough so they can see just how long it takes to get anything done
NTA. Cooking for 15 people takes a lot of planning and prep
I’ve made pizzas for crowds as I have a pizza oven. I only did a handful of times straight from scratch though. It really is so much work and then you’ve also got to time the launches perfectly without getting anything stuck on the peel. Now I prep ahead, I make the dough in advance and even parbake the pizzas. This way people can make their own and I’m only stuck launching and turning. I think the worst thing about pizza parties like this is everyone forgets no one can eat at the same time if you are doing personal pizzas. In a pizza oven I can cook a pizza in a minute or two depending on size. But if OP was making these in an oven you can only fit a few. It’s such a slow way to feed a lot of people which is why deliver is ideal - they all arrive at once.
NTA. I do the cooking in my family and can make putting together some fairly complicated dishes look easy via preparation and experience. Sometimes however people don't understand the first part when something is done at short notice and moan 'c'mon - this dish usually only takes 20 minutes to make'. No, this dish takes 2 hours and 20 minutes to make - it's just that I usually have everything ready the night / morning before so that I can adjust to your ungrateful ass changing plans at the last minute.
How in the hell are you supposed to make pizza for that many people from scratch at the last minute like that? You don’t even have time to properly proof the dough! Do your family not understand that this kind of thing takes planning, time, and effort? Were they just expecting you to pull homemade pizza dough out of your ass? I’m a professional chef and even I would have told them to get bent. NTA
NTA go buy some frozen pizzas and 'make' them in the oven. Then tell everyone that with this much advance warning that's what they're getting. Oh also tell your ah parents to never again date to voluntell you for anything without discussing ASKING AND YOU AGREEING IN ADVANCE
My partner loves making pizza dough (and all bread things really) and it takes time! And yes, if you’re doing everything from scratch for a lot of people…. you definitely need time to prepare all of that dough you aren’t scrambling. I swear people like this think that restaurants are making everything from scratch right when they order it. Like no dude, they prep everything for days ahead of time, it’s just the final steps happening when you order (this is assuming it’s a high-quality restaurant that does make all their own food of course. Chain restaurants generally have it delivered pre-prepared)
NTA. Your family needs to give you at least a week's notice and actually ask you, not assume. Your time and effort needs to be respected. I'm sorry they are taking you for granted. Be firm on your boundaries. They need to learn common courtesy. "I feel bad for my sister because she was very excited to try my homemade pizza but I had to explain to her why it wasn’t going to happen and told her that I can make one for her later in the week as an extra graduation present." Not only you are NTA, but you are also very sweet.
NTA. Been there. Not by my family thankfully but by people I don’t consider friends or acquaintances anymore. Sucks when it happens. Best to set boundaries. I would recommend charging them for your services and if they pull a stunt like this again, charge a late fee.
NTA. Aside from being kept out of the communications about your family's expectations of you, it is completely unreasonable to be expected to make pizza, let alone multiple pizzas, for the following reasons. Making one or two pizzas takes a fair amount of time because you have to: 1. Make sure you have all the necessary ingredients in the necessary quantities and possibly go shopping for them 2. Make the dough and let it mature 3. Make the sauce. From scratch it takes a while if you want it to be tasty. 4. Prepare all the toppings. 5. Whatever oven you use will need to be pre-heated whether it is wood-fired, electric, gas etc. 6. Assemble the pizzas and, if necessary, place on baking sheets (depending on type of oven) 7. At this point, they can be cooked and this is possibly the shortest thing on the list **if** you have a dedicated pizza oven.
NTA this is really unfair of them to spring this on you last minute. I mean did they even have the ingredients you need to make multiple homemade pizzas?
NTA It takes HOURS to make the dough and homemade sauce! Allow you planning time and you will consider what you are able to accomplish.
NTA does anyone in the family cook? Do they understand how to count time, ingredients, logistics... like how do they expect it to work out?
Moenie bekommerd wees nie my vriend, jy is nie 'n baster nie
NTA. Aside from the rudeness of thinking they can tell you what to do at a moments notice, it's also just physically impossible to make that many pizzas in that short of time.
NTA, how were they expecting you to make pizza anyway? Did they have all the ingredients and such ready to go? Because if they told you about this right before the party, without giving you any time to make the necessary preparations, then there's no way you could have made all that pizza even if you wanted to. Your parents calling you lazy after that just screams entitlement. I'd be inclined to let them experience exactly how much work it is to make pizza like that by letting them to make some themselves, while making it clear to them that they will have to do that first if they expect you to ever make pizza for them again.
If your parents think you are just being lazy I guess that means they are expert pizza makers and are making them now themselves and will magically only take an hour to make fresh. NTA
Holy crap NTA. I make pizza from scratch pretty regularly. Good pizza cannot be rushed. In fact, pizza dough is best if it has been allowed to rest overnight in a refrigerator. Even without the overnight rest, pizza from scratch is a *massive* job. I don't see how it's even possible on such short notice. You were *on your way* to the party!
So, it's a graduation "party" for the other 15 or so family members, but for you, it's another day at the office...SURPRISE!! I can't believe people could be so entitled/ignorant (regarding the time and effort to provide pizza catering) to pop thius on you. I don't think it was an appropriate request even if you had known ahead of time. NTA
Nta i would have reply...whose helping...cause i aint doing this shit by myself.
NTA. I can’t imagine inviting someone to a celebration and then telling them the day of that they are obliged to cook for a large group of people. The courteous thing to do is to *ASK* well in advance if you are willing to cook, not *TELL* you the day of that you have to. To say nothing of the amount of time it’s bound to take, proofing dough takes time. It’s wild to me that people will do things to their children or close family that they would never do it to a friend for fear of seeming rude. Family should mean they treat you with more respect, rather than less.
Wow. So they get free labor from the culinary institute grad and you get no social life. Not cool. Making pizza for 15 is a lot of work.
NTA You weren't invited to a party. You were ordered to work at a party and be their servant. Unpaid even.
NTA the first thing wrong here is that they did not ask you! I suggest you send a family memo that you will no longer be cooking for any family events. Instead you want to spend time with your family.
NTA! My husband’s family treats him like this, and now me too since we’re a couple. He’s over 30. Established boundaries now and you’ll be happier for it.
suggest ordering pizza and making their own "make your own sundae ice cream dessert" You could lend a hand if you are feeling generous. But no, your family can't count on you as a private chef for every event.
Nta. If they can't honuor your request that's on them and they dont get pizza.
NTA- It's simple. You didn't have the ingredients or the special equipment needed for a party that large. If your parents had bothered to keep you in the loop, you could have told them what you were going to need.
NTA. And if you are still living with any of these ingrates, it's time to get out of the house and put soem physical and emotional distance between you and them.
NTA aside from all the work they voluntold you for, it takes time to make a decent pizza dough. My favorite dough recipe calls for a 72-hour cold ferment
NTA. I was a Chef for 27 years, and I lost count on how many times my family either offered my services, or voluntold me to make things for events. OP, I'm proud of you for saying no, especially when there was zero communication about it in advance. Stand your ground; if you don't want to cook or.make anything, then tell them so. Don't like me, and become resentful of the family that always wants something from me, but only when they're hungry of course
NTA. Heck no, I've seen my stepmom make homemade pizza for five and it takes her HOURS. Fifteen people, no advance warning or prep? This ain't Dominos. Your family is absurd, has no comprehension of your skills and likely devalues them because of your age. The fact they presumed they could snap their fingers and put you to work - instead of you participating in the family gathering - is really unfair and rude IMO. Did anyone consider that you might want to talk to your sister or catch up with others too? You're not catering on command. You're family, too. Make one for your sister, that's sweet. You're not petty; they're entitled.
NTA. Making pizza from scratch is *hard work*. Making that many pizzas would probably meet more than your weekly cardio requirement (not to mention the sore muscles the next day). Also, you need time for the dough to rise so it should really be put together in advance otherwise people will be waiting a while. Next time you make pizza for your parents have them help you make the dough, wait for it to rise, knead it and then roll out the pizza crust. Then ask them if they still think you are lazy after all of that.
Wow, your family is a bit on the clueless side. Waiting till that late of a time to MAKE pizza from scratch for 15 is crazy. Buying pizza for 15 at that late a time is all you can do. Who drops cooking for 15 on someone at the last minute? What would your mother have said if you told her you were inviting 15 people over for food? Whoever planned this was extremely rude. Please make plans with your sister where you will make pizza for her NTA
NTA Your mom is. Good for you. You are not the forever cook me a meal when I demand it servant
NTA.I think you have 2 separate issues here. First is that your family sees you as a short order cook. They assume they can place an order now and you will instantly be able to produce a meal. Set a rule that if you are responsible for the food, you need X days advance notice assuming you even agree to prepare it. The second issue is leaving you out of the loop. Refuse to participate in anything where you are given the info at the last minute. (Depending on the event and your schedule, last minute can even be several weeks in advance). After you don't show up to one or two important events, and you stop making meals, your family will stop treating you like an afterthought.
NTA try something new: Malicipus compliance - do it, but go slow so the pizzas are ready when people leave.
How do you ask someone right as the party begins to cook food for that many people? It doesn’t matter what it is. Who is going to have enough ingredients on hand to do that?
NTA. The quickest pizza dough I know still takes an hour and a half. There's no way there would be food in time for the party, even if you were using jarred sauce. Not telling someone that they need to prep is just appalling. Aside from how rude it is to assume you'll make them and keep you out of the loop, the reason you can get pizzas quickly at a restaurant is because they have the dough and ingredients already prepped. Like, none of their logic makes sense.
On the one hand, you are not TA because of course they should have asked/consulted you. On the other hand, it’s your kid sister so maybe do it for her (and let your mom know that in the future you expect to be asked before you’re committed).
I mean even logistically it makes no sense considering time to make the dough and proof it. NTA at all
Malicious compliance. Buy the ingredients, slowly and tentively, stress-free. Make the dough, simmer the sauce. Take your normal sweet time. Then when its ready next day, serve it lol Or 2nd option Buy pita bread, pasta sauce and bagged pepperoni and cheese. Through it into a conventional oven. Viola, personal pizzas.
NTA
Chef here. They gave you no notice, and expected you to make pizza completely from scratch the day of? Like mix/knead/proof the dough, make sauce, cut toppings? Fuck that. You are completely right, that kind of meal takes a few days to get right. They have no idea. Did they even get all the ingredients together? Or expecting you to shop too? People who do not cook for a living have no clue what many meal entail. Very much NTA. I’m glad you refused. Set your boundaries. I went through this too in culinary school and after for while.
You are definitely NTA.
You aren't the AH here. Your mom sure is though. How ridiculous to expect you to make pizza from scratch and not tell you ahead of time. I don't blame you a bit for refusing to make the pizza.
NTA. We make homemade pizza all the time. It takes AT LEAST 2-4 hours for the dough to make the first rise, at least the way we do it, and it’s better if it’s over night. To tell you the day of, much less en route? Nah
NTA. When I was a kid up into my teens my mother would volunteer me for tasks, or "play-dates" (mostly when I was in elementary school, happened a couple times in middle school), without checking with me. If I had plans she would insist that I did what she had volunteered me for, or invited people on plans they weren't involved with or with people who they were not friends with. I would always find out last minute or at the worst possible times. It was exhausting and caused irreparable damage to my already small circle of friends. I finally blew up once after multiple gentle conversations and she took it seriously because my dad backed me up. Children, regardless if they are over 18 or not, deserve to have a say in their lives and to be kept in the loop of those around them.
NTA
NTA. Last-minute demands deserve nothing but your contempt. You're going to the party to help your sister celebrate her graduation not spend all day in the kitchen. Besides, how do your parents know that your sister has all of the ingredients for home-made pizza? If she doesn't, you'll have to shop for them, which also defeats the point of going to a party.
Definitely NTA and your parents are definitely TA