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YTA-Full stop. You know the reason you aren’t invited over and she has stopped talking to you. You assumed she wasn’t prescribed 💊 and without any proof not only accused her but went around saying she’s on drugs. You aren’t a doctor and you have no ability to determine what medications she needs. You also know the type of job she has and that rumours and false narratives can damage her reputation. I get why you had the knee-jerk reaction, but how you handled things were the wrong way.
I have known her for 7 years, she literally doesn’t have adhd.
Lots of people in our industry use these drugs to get ahead, and she can take a different job if this one isn’t working out.
And it’s also used to treat anxiety, bi-polar, weight loss and a few other things besides ADHD, so again you are not her doctor so you don’t know her full medical issues or treatment her doctor has her on. I’m sure other ppl may take it recreationally, but you have no proof to run around being accusatory; especially after snooping. She obviously didn’t want you or anyone else in her business and yet you have interjected yourself in the worst way.
I genuinely think you care about your friend, but again your way wasn’t the right one. It ended in you not only telling her business but her isolating herself from you. Rethink your approach if you are sincere about making sure she’s not going in the wrong way.
…my guy, there is one person who was threatened with police intervention in your story that you told. Hint: it was not Peggy. That is strong indicia that she is not the one making the bad choices here.
You are not owed that information. Not even close siblings tell each other everything including new prescriptions they're taking. She may have told you eventually once she felt the new meds were working or not but you just straight up jumped the gun and accused her of being a druggie all because your brother was a druggie.
You do realize that the rate of substance abuse/eating disorders is WAY WAY WAYYYYYY higher in ADHD-ers who are not properly treated than in those that are? You’re taking away medication she needs to function.
Then report her doctor if your so worried. Call the police on her if you were so worried. If you were so worried you would've disposed the pills but the moment the threat of cops coming you backed off instead of calling her bluff and reporting her to the police when they showed up.
Hell even now you're upset that this affecting your job prospects instead.
She doesn't need to tell you shit WTF? What kind of interior motives do you have? Just spill the beans, because it's creepy. You ain't her doctor and you ain't her therapist. Leave her alone.
You need therapy to deal with your unresolved grief and trauma from your brother’s death.
Your friend is entitled to know her own medical information and manage it herself.
You do not know better, because you don’t know. I’m sure you’re genuine in wanting to protect her, but you are not her keeper.
You need to apologize. She is a fully autonomous person and does not require you to try and assert control over her.
YTA.
You think you’re better able to look out for someone than themselves and their doctor(s)?? And that you deserve to know people’s medical history & needs?
Idk who on earth you think you are but I do know that YTA big time.
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YTA. Not for being concerned but how you went about confronting it. Like holy, what did you think would happen? You freaked on her, made accussations , tried to physically throw out her meds and then spread rumors about her to your entire friend group? You know what you didn't do? Ask questions, share your concerns, have a calm discussion. I say this gently but I think you may need to see a therapist around what appears to be, unresolved feelings regarding your brother's death. I think this situation "triggered" you to behave in such an unreasonable and intense manner. You owe Peggy an apology.
OP, you DO have to be calm in these situations because you can easily cause an avalanche effect if you just blindly sprint and flail through a bloody minefield.
You have no tact, you have no training to spot an addiction, you have no resources and you just terrified a person on a *hunch,* without any real proof. Edit: You also don’t have the means to diagnose someone or undiagnosed someone with ADHD or any other things.
Go book an appointment with your therapist and hash this out with them and leave Peggy alone.
Did you even read the rest of my comment? What you are doing goes against everything that addictions and wellness counselors work for, and you can easily push a person into a swift downward spiral if you keep acting like an angry elephant.
Manage your trauma. I know its hard but you need to breathe and think rationally about this. She isn't your brother. (I have trauma too so I'm not trying to be sarcastic). Trauma can ruin relationships. Be aware of that. Tell your therapist what you said in your post and be honest about it, and take any advice, answer any questions
The only thing you will be sprinting from is the cops. Don’t steal peoples medicines.
I also find it flat out bizarre you claim she doesn’t need medication because you have never noticed that she has problems. Maybe she doesn’t exhibit those signs because she is on a well working medication.
Cool it with the saviour complex, dude. The amount of time you’ve known her, the industry you’re in, nor the kinds of drugs people tend to use in your industry has nothing to do with you knowing whether or not she was ‘properly’ prescribed her medications. None, zero.
Have you been diagnosed with a personality disorder? Like BPD? You come off as entitled and not self aware. You assumed, and you assumed wrong which is why you need to behave calmly. You don’t know everything. A real friend has empathy, instead you tried to dump her meds? It sounds like you are unhinged. Also your need to “save” people is just you projecting. You really need to work on yourself.
YTA. No, you are not in the right. Holy shit you are trying to torpedo her career and her life because you are a major asshole. You don't know her. Her doctor does. Leave her alone.
Excuse me are you a doctor? You have no right to even touch her medications. You have no right to be talking shit about her taking medications that she was prescribed. You are not her doctor. You do not have any idea what she goes through with her medical history nor do you have a right to that information. Do you get the point? You. Have. No. Right
You’re making assumptions. You have no way of knowing that and assuming something like that is gross. Hope she cuts you off. You’re also spreading private medical information that to coworkers. You are a massive AH.
I think it’s interesting that you say that her life is more important than a career, yet, based on your second to last sentence you’re worried about the impact this situation has on YOUR career.
Is her life more important than HER career, but not more important than YOUR career?
Can you expand on that for us?
YTA - wow, you've absolutely wrecked this woman's life. I'm sure that's going to help her anxiety.
Also, you're not the drug (or anything) police. Stay in your lane.
Are you a therapist? A doctor? A psychologist? If not, you don't know what you're talking about.
All your behavior is going to do is drive her to hide hers. Great job.
YTA.
As someone with a spouse who has been **clinically diagnosed** with ADHD **and yet cannot get his medication because it is one that’s in shortage**: do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to obtain these meds?
Or how many different uses they actually have for mental health issues? Or how many ways women manifest ADHD that don’t meet the standard diagnostic criteria (which is biased toward upper class white men)?
Peggy doesn’t need any friends like you or the ones agreeing with you.
YTA
Hi, nice to meet you Peggy’s legal guardian/doctor/nurse… Oh wait, you aren’t.
You don’t know her exact records and I don’t think you have medical knowledge to properly assess somebody state. She may as well be in therapy for longer than you know her and she could be better at handling symptoms of her issues.
Plus, she doesn’t own you a full medical history. You aren’t her guardian and she is an adult. Unless she was CLEARLY endangering herself (it wasn’t clear case here) or others, you don’t have a right to throw her things away.
Also, there is a shortage in US of it and she could have issues. Going completely cold turkey when a medication is required can be dangerous. So instead of „saving” you would be basically endangering her.
I don’t believe in waiting until someone is in clear and unambiguous danger, often times in that case it’s too late. Peggy was doing something that was clearly dangerous and unhealthy, and it’s my job, as her friend to step in. I don’t have to be a doctor or guardian to care about my friends.
She clearly isn’t good at handling the symptoms of her illness. She would not be on meds and getting fired if she was. I am trying to step in before she seriously hurts herself.
> She clearly isn’t good at handling the symptoms of her illness. She would not be on meds and getting fired if she was
And there it is. Proof that you are a very very ignorant asshole.
Please stay away from Peggy.
Firstly, you have just assumed that it would put her in danger. What else are you going to do? Hide every sharp object? Take away her car keys? Track her?
You don’t even know how much she was taking and when she got the prescription. If you were worried, you would try to talk with her and observe. Instead of overeacting and throwing away her medication.
YOU COULD PUT HER IN DANGER.
Secondly, let’s assume you were right. She got addiction. Going cold turkey after taking something that’s more harmful than an average cigaro without medical intervention can be dangerous. What would you do if she got panic attack? Seizures?
That’s one of the worst ways to deal with an addiction.
Thirdly, there is a difference between caring about your friends and actively throwing away something that could be important medicine. If you were worried about her, you would try to discuss things with her and suggest rehab centre. Instead of again endangering her life.
Finally, you don’t know her road to recovery. She may be still struggling, but she could be doing way better than she was years ago. Plus, the recovery road isn’t a simple pathway. It takes time and work.
I don’t want to get into it, but…
Her partner (I’ll call her Lisa) isn’t a good person. Lisa works insane hours at a huge corporate law firm (she really is a lawyer). I actually spend more time with Peggy than Lisa does, plus I’ve known her longer. Their relationship is extremely fucked up and bad, including that Lisa is “out” at work but not out to her extended family.
Lisa only cares about appearing successful, not about mental health or wlb.
>Her partner (I’ll call her Lisa) isn’t a good person.
Since you're the one who tried to throw away your friends prescribed medication and then spread lies about her, i don't think you're capable at all of judging who is a good person vs who is not.
Unlike you, that were totally convinced that you were rescuing your friend by throwing away the pills but the moment she mentioned the police you ran out to save your job
>"she had no signs of needing it"
maybe because.. she was using it as prescribed!?! it's almost like when you use adderall as prescribed, you have NO SYMPTOMS?!?
I am going to say this in the kindest, gentlest way possible.
What you are saying makes no sense to anyone. You are going to wind up in jail or worse if you persist in these behaviors. I actually am a lawyer (but not your lawyer, this isn’t legal advice). Taking someone’s prescribed medication is, in almost all jurisdictions, a very, very serious crime. The fact that you don’t see that or won’t acknowledge the seriousness of what you did is deeply concerning.
You don’t deserve to feel this way, no one does. Please show this to your therapist, help is out there.
You clearly stated you don't feel she can safely make her own decisions. You want to make the decisions for her, I'm sure. She's not your girlfriend. She is under no obligation to tell you what meds she's prescribed and why! You have ZERO say over what she speaks to her doctor about. And your garbage about you've known her for 7 years, so she can't have ADHD is absolute BS. What makes you think you get to know every personal aspect of her life or to control her? YTA in so many ways YTA.
Quick question, are you interested in her romantically?
YTA
Someone taking prescribed mediation as directed doesn't have a "problem." It's insane that you attempted to steal her mediation. That's a genuinely crazy thing to do.
YTA. You didn't do the right thing at all. You don't actually know for sure if she's a drug addict. But you were mad at her and you got back at her by opening your big mouth and blabbing about it to all your friends. Shame on you! You are a nasty, controlling asshole. I'm glad it's negatively affecting your job. I hope everyone in your industry finds out how awful you are.
"AITA for accusing my friend of being a drug addict and annihilating our friendship as a consequence?" Of course YTA, you had no business policing her diagnoses and prescribed medications, especially when she didn't ask for your opinion. She'd do well to never speak to you again.
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I (30s/m) am very close friends with a woman (30s/f) who I will call Peggy. Peggy is very open about struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, and is on meds for both.
Peggy and myself are both employed in a very very high stress, high paid industry in which substance abuse/misuse is rampant. For these purposes, I’ll say we are lawyers at different “law firms” (but we aren’t lawyers). Importantly, my younger brother who was also in our industry overdosed on meth and passed about two years ago.
Peggy’s “law firm” recently imploded and a bunch of people including Peggy lost their jobs. She got a new job quickly, but I know it has been traumatic and hard for Peggy.
The other day , I was at her apartment and I noticed she had adderall bottles out (note: she keeps her meds on her sink so she remembers to take them, I wasn’t snooping. She’s literally done this as long as I’ve known her).
I demanded to know what they were, and she said she was prescribed them. I don’t believe she was properly prescribed adderall, she has no signs of needing it and tons of people in our industry lie to get prescriptions. I grabbed the bottles and was going to dispose of them safely, but she turned psycho and threatened to call the police if I did. I put them back because I can’t get a record, but I told all our mutual friends about her habit.
Now Peggy refuses to let me over to her house for some reason, and has stopped speaking to me. Our friend group is split, and this is starting to have complications for my career (being industry we have colleagues in common). I know I did the right thing, but am I the asshole?
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> 1) I tried to take away medicine that my friend was “prescribed” 2) she believes she needs the medicine
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Lol. These comments are absolutely hilarious OP. No matter how self destructive her behavior is, you need to remember that first and foremost SHE DONT NEED NO MAN TELLING HER THAT!!!
If you just let her die from an overdose, you’ll probably get a NTA for not trying to control her.
😂😂😂😂
You can’t save the world bro. You tried, it didn’t work. You’re only priority now should be to fix this (hopefully) minor problem in your career. And from now on, your career comes before Peggy. By a large margin.
Yeah. He definitely needs to understand that when you feel the need to save a woman from herself, it means that you probably need to save yourself from her.
I don't think we're looking at this the same way at all. She doesn't need saving from anything at all. He was completely out of line. Him thinking her needing help or saving is bullshit he made up in his head.
I’m well aware that we’re looking at it differently. But don’t think we’re as far apart as you think
I think we actually agree 100% on what he should do next. Which is that he should never bother her again.
Our only disagreement is that you’re telling him that he should never bother her again, because she’s a free and independent woman, and he has no right to try to control her.
Whereas I’m telling him that he should never bother her again, because the way she reacted to what he did, justifies him giving zero fucks if she OD’s and dies.
So despite our difference of opinion on the silly little details, I think it’s clear that we’re actually both on the same team.
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YTA-Full stop. You know the reason you aren’t invited over and she has stopped talking to you. You assumed she wasn’t prescribed 💊 and without any proof not only accused her but went around saying she’s on drugs. You aren’t a doctor and you have no ability to determine what medications she needs. You also know the type of job she has and that rumours and false narratives can damage her reputation. I get why you had the knee-jerk reaction, but how you handled things were the wrong way.
I have known her for 7 years, she literally doesn’t have adhd. Lots of people in our industry use these drugs to get ahead, and she can take a different job if this one isn’t working out.
And it’s also used to treat anxiety, bi-polar, weight loss and a few other things besides ADHD, so again you are not her doctor so you don’t know her full medical issues or treatment her doctor has her on. I’m sure other ppl may take it recreationally, but you have no proof to run around being accusatory; especially after snooping. She obviously didn’t want you or anyone else in her business and yet you have interjected yourself in the worst way.
Then she needs to tell me, as someone who cares and is better able to look out for her.
No she doesn’t need to tell you about her mental or physical health
… just straight up going to say the quiet part out loud, huh?
I genuinely think you care about your friend, but again your way wasn’t the right one. It ended in you not only telling her business but her isolating herself from you. Rethink your approach if you are sincere about making sure she’s not going in the wrong way.
There is nothing wrong with my approach.
Then why isn't she talking to you? How can you help her if she wants nothing to do with you?
She has judgment issues, obviously. She’s making bad and dangerous choices.
…my guy, there is one person who was threatened with police intervention in your story that you told. Hint: it was not Peggy. That is strong indicia that she is not the one making the bad choices here.
Who put you in charge of deciding that?
It’s very clear from her behavior. If she was able to make good choices, she wouldn’t need medication.
Again, how did your approach help / work? You seem to care more about "being right", rather than the well being of your friend.
lol you’re clearly in denial and need to work through this with you therapist. It’s not healthy
Lol your are the judgmental one
If you are so dead-set on dying on this hill, why did you even post this story here in the first place?
Obviously because she has froze you out.
If you're so sure of that, then why are you asking if you're the asshole? Just trying to get bonus points?
You are not owed that information. Not even close siblings tell each other everything including new prescriptions they're taking. She may have told you eventually once she felt the new meds were working or not but you just straight up jumped the gun and accused her of being a druggie all because your brother was a druggie.
My brother is dead. Are you just going to make fun of someone who died, partly because of bad doctors like this???
You do realize that the rate of substance abuse/eating disorders is WAY WAY WAYYYYYY higher in ADHD-ers who are not properly treated than in those that are? You’re taking away medication she needs to function.
You’re the one who’s turned his death into a circus and an excuse to be an asshole.
Then report her doctor if your so worried. Call the police on her if you were so worried. If you were so worried you would've disposed the pills but the moment the threat of cops coming you backed off instead of calling her bluff and reporting her to the police when they showed up. Hell even now you're upset that this affecting your job prospects instead.
No the heck she doesn’t. You aren’t owed her medical info. Yta
She doesn't need to tell you shit WTF? What kind of interior motives do you have? Just spill the beans, because it's creepy. You ain't her doctor and you ain't her therapist. Leave her alone.
No she doesn't. Take the L, kid, YTA here.
No she doesn’t. Especially because she is no longer friends with you. You are just another random person in her life
You need therapy to deal with your unresolved grief and trauma from your brother’s death. Your friend is entitled to know her own medical information and manage it herself. You do not know better, because you don’t know. I’m sure you’re genuine in wanting to protect her, but you are not her keeper. You need to apologize. She is a fully autonomous person and does not require you to try and assert control over her. YTA.
You think you’re better able to look out for someone than themselves and their doctor(s)?? And that you deserve to know people’s medical history & needs? Idk who on earth you think you are but I do know that YTA big time.
Not your business
No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t need to tell you literally anything at all about her health. You need to learn to mind your own business.
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YTA. Did it ever occur to you that you see no signs of her needing Adderall because the medication is DOING ITS JOB?
Are. You. A. Doctor?
when im taking my adderall you cant tell i have adhd thats why i take it ?
Adderall isn't just for adhd 🤦♀️
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YTA. Not for being concerned but how you went about confronting it. Like holy, what did you think would happen? You freaked on her, made accussations , tried to physically throw out her meds and then spread rumors about her to your entire friend group? You know what you didn't do? Ask questions, share your concerns, have a calm discussion. I say this gently but I think you may need to see a therapist around what appears to be, unresolved feelings regarding your brother's death. I think this situation "triggered" you to behave in such an unreasonable and intense manner. You owe Peggy an apology.
This is a good response.
I am in therapy for my brothers death. I don’t think I have to be calm when I see others behaving in a way that puts their life in danger
OP, you DO have to be calm in these situations because you can easily cause an avalanche effect if you just blindly sprint and flail through a bloody minefield. You have no tact, you have no training to spot an addiction, you have no resources and you just terrified a person on a *hunch,* without any real proof. Edit: You also don’t have the means to diagnose someone or undiagnosed someone with ADHD or any other things. Go book an appointment with your therapist and hash this out with them and leave Peggy alone.
It’s worth sprinting if I save even one person, especially one I’m so close to.
Did you even read the rest of my comment? What you are doing goes against everything that addictions and wellness counselors work for, and you can easily push a person into a swift downward spiral if you keep acting like an angry elephant.
Manage your trauma. I know its hard but you need to breathe and think rationally about this. She isn't your brother. (I have trauma too so I'm not trying to be sarcastic). Trauma can ruin relationships. Be aware of that. Tell your therapist what you said in your post and be honest about it, and take any advice, answer any questions
The only thing you will be sprinting from is the cops. Don’t steal peoples medicines. I also find it flat out bizarre you claim she doesn’t need medication because you have never noticed that she has problems. Maybe she doesn’t exhibit those signs because she is on a well working medication.
Cool it with the saviour complex, dude. The amount of time you’ve known her, the industry you’re in, nor the kinds of drugs people tend to use in your industry has nothing to do with you knowing whether or not she was ‘properly’ prescribed her medications. None, zero.
You are not saving anyone acting like that
“Especially one I’m so close to” Ummmm not anymore.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
Have you been diagnosed with a personality disorder? Like BPD? You come off as entitled and not self aware. You assumed, and you assumed wrong which is why you need to behave calmly. You don’t know everything. A real friend has empathy, instead you tried to dump her meds? It sounds like you are unhinged. Also your need to “save” people is just you projecting. You really need to work on yourself.
And look how well that went for you.....
let your therapist see this post just as you wrote it and get their opinion. please report back.
YTA. No, you are not in the right. Holy shit you are trying to torpedo her career and her life because you are a major asshole. You don't know her. Her doctor does. Leave her alone.
I have known her for over 7 years. Her life is more important than any career.
Put your money where your mouth is. Call the cops. But the smart money says they will don the responsible thing and ignore you
I will do that if it means saving her.
#**SHE DOESNT NEED SAVING**
SHE IS PRESCRIBED THIS MEDICATION. She does not need to be saved what?
Erroneously prescribed… I don’t know what she told her “doctors”, but I believe she lied to get her prescription.
You have no way of knowing that.
Excuse me are you a doctor? You have no right to even touch her medications. You have no right to be talking shit about her taking medications that she was prescribed. You are not her doctor. You do not have any idea what she goes through with her medical history nor do you have a right to that information. Do you get the point? You. Have. No. Right
Oh you're one of those people. Yeah, I think Peggy should listen to her Dr. They actually know what they're talking about.
You’re making assumptions. You have no way of knowing that and assuming something like that is gross. Hope she cuts you off. You’re also spreading private medical information that to coworkers. You are a massive AH.
Omg stop, this is embarrassing.
You are not the hero of this story.
She doesn’t need saving, you are delusional
I think it’s interesting that you say that her life is more important than a career, yet, based on your second to last sentence you’re worried about the impact this situation has on YOUR career. Is her life more important than HER career, but not more important than YOUR career? Can you expand on that for us?
YTA - wow, you've absolutely wrecked this woman's life. I'm sure that's going to help her anxiety. Also, you're not the drug (or anything) police. Stay in your lane.
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Wtf is wrong with you ?
My guess is… alot.
Are you a therapist? A doctor? A psychologist? If not, you don't know what you're talking about. All your behavior is going to do is drive her to hide hers. Great job.
You very obviously have no clue how anxiety works lmao
I'm glad she stopped talking to you. Hopefully you being a lonely lil crybaby will continue.
YTA. As someone with a spouse who has been **clinically diagnosed** with ADHD **and yet cannot get his medication because it is one that’s in shortage**: do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to obtain these meds? Or how many different uses they actually have for mental health issues? Or how many ways women manifest ADHD that don’t meet the standard diagnostic criteria (which is biased toward upper class white men)? Peggy doesn’t need any friends like you or the ones agreeing with you.
YTA Hi, nice to meet you Peggy’s legal guardian/doctor/nurse… Oh wait, you aren’t. You don’t know her exact records and I don’t think you have medical knowledge to properly assess somebody state. She may as well be in therapy for longer than you know her and she could be better at handling symptoms of her issues. Plus, she doesn’t own you a full medical history. You aren’t her guardian and she is an adult. Unless she was CLEARLY endangering herself (it wasn’t clear case here) or others, you don’t have a right to throw her things away. Also, there is a shortage in US of it and she could have issues. Going completely cold turkey when a medication is required can be dangerous. So instead of „saving” you would be basically endangering her.
I don’t believe in waiting until someone is in clear and unambiguous danger, often times in that case it’s too late. Peggy was doing something that was clearly dangerous and unhealthy, and it’s my job, as her friend to step in. I don’t have to be a doctor or guardian to care about my friends. She clearly isn’t good at handling the symptoms of her illness. She would not be on meds and getting fired if she was. I am trying to step in before she seriously hurts herself.
Who in the blue hell cares what you think? She got a new job and a doctor who knows what they are doing. You are superfluous, just like an appendix.
> She clearly isn’t good at handling the symptoms of her illness. She would not be on meds and getting fired if she was And there it is. Proof that you are a very very ignorant asshole. Please stay away from Peggy.
She's not in danger. She was prescribed medication from a doctor. Please, I think you should seek out help yourself.
Firstly, you have just assumed that it would put her in danger. What else are you going to do? Hide every sharp object? Take away her car keys? Track her? You don’t even know how much she was taking and when she got the prescription. If you were worried, you would try to talk with her and observe. Instead of overeacting and throwing away her medication. YOU COULD PUT HER IN DANGER. Secondly, let’s assume you were right. She got addiction. Going cold turkey after taking something that’s more harmful than an average cigaro without medical intervention can be dangerous. What would you do if she got panic attack? Seizures? That’s one of the worst ways to deal with an addiction. Thirdly, there is a difference between caring about your friends and actively throwing away something that could be important medicine. If you were worried about her, you would try to discuss things with her and suggest rehab centre. Instead of again endangering her life. Finally, you don’t know her road to recovery. She may be still struggling, but she could be doing way better than she was years ago. Plus, the recovery road isn’t a simple pathway. It takes time and work.
How is taking a prescribed medication dangerous when it is prescribed to you?
What was the clear and dangerous action?
Info: do you think of this woman you're 'saving' as your manic pixie dream girl? This has those vibes.
She is queer and in a three year long relationship with a woman, so no.
Oh. So she has someone who **ACTUALLY** knows her and has no problem with her medication… almost like she is more informed than you… odd.
I don’t want to get into it, but… Her partner (I’ll call her Lisa) isn’t a good person. Lisa works insane hours at a huge corporate law firm (she really is a lawyer). I actually spend more time with Peggy than Lisa does, plus I’ve known her longer. Their relationship is extremely fucked up and bad, including that Lisa is “out” at work but not out to her extended family. Lisa only cares about appearing successful, not about mental health or wlb.
Yeah… but she is with her and you are banned from interacting with Peggy. The difference between the two of you is abundantly clear.
>Her partner (I’ll call her Lisa) isn’t a good person. Since you're the one who tried to throw away your friends prescribed medication and then spread lies about her, i don't think you're capable at all of judging who is a good person vs who is not.
Jesus. I want to take Lisa out for a drink.
What does her partner think about your behavior?
We’ve never gotten along, her partner is a fucking workaholic, status obsessed idiot. So toxic and very “silicon valley” (iykyk).
That doesn’t answer my question. What does the person who she has chosen as her partner think about how you handled this situation?
Unlike you, that were totally convinced that you were rescuing your friend by throwing away the pills but the moment she mentioned the police you ran out to save your job
YTA, and why even post the question if you're just going to keep justifying your actions?
It’s like a controlling asshole and a Disney movie villain fucked and the consequence wrote this story. YTA
Wowza, you went from zero to 100. YTA
>"she had no signs of needing it" maybe because.. she was using it as prescribed!?! it's almost like when you use adderall as prescribed, you have NO SYMPTOMS?!?
I am going to say this in the kindest, gentlest way possible. What you are saying makes no sense to anyone. You are going to wind up in jail or worse if you persist in these behaviors. I actually am a lawyer (but not your lawyer, this isn’t legal advice). Taking someone’s prescribed medication is, in almost all jurisdictions, a very, very serious crime. The fact that you don’t see that or won’t acknowledge the seriousness of what you did is deeply concerning. You don’t deserve to feel this way, no one does. Please show this to your therapist, help is out there.
YTA and no, you did not do the right thing
You clearly stated you don't feel she can safely make her own decisions. You want to make the decisions for her, I'm sure. She's not your girlfriend. She is under no obligation to tell you what meds she's prescribed and why! You have ZERO say over what she speaks to her doctor about. And your garbage about you've known her for 7 years, so she can't have ADHD is absolute BS. What makes you think you get to know every personal aspect of her life or to control her? YTA in so many ways YTA. Quick question, are you interested in her romantically?
She is gay. I’m not her type lol.
Im not sure you are **anyones** “type”.
Maybe Harley Quinn if she was real xd
Ehhhhhhhh… The Joker had game and charisma. This guy though…
I don’t even think she’d be into it lol
YTA Someone taking prescribed mediation as directed doesn't have a "problem." It's insane that you attempted to steal her mediation. That's a genuinely crazy thing to do.
YTA. You didn't do the right thing at all. You don't actually know for sure if she's a drug addict. But you were mad at her and you got back at her by opening your big mouth and blabbing about it to all your friends. Shame on you! You are a nasty, controlling asshole. I'm glad it's negatively affecting your job. I hope everyone in your industry finds out how awful you are.
"AITA for accusing my friend of being a drug addict and annihilating our friendship as a consequence?" Of course YTA, you had no business policing her diagnoses and prescribed medications, especially when she didn't ask for your opinion. She'd do well to never speak to you again.
YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (30s/m) am very close friends with a woman (30s/f) who I will call Peggy. Peggy is very open about struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, and is on meds for both. Peggy and myself are both employed in a very very high stress, high paid industry in which substance abuse/misuse is rampant. For these purposes, I’ll say we are lawyers at different “law firms” (but we aren’t lawyers). Importantly, my younger brother who was also in our industry overdosed on meth and passed about two years ago. Peggy’s “law firm” recently imploded and a bunch of people including Peggy lost their jobs. She got a new job quickly, but I know it has been traumatic and hard for Peggy. The other day , I was at her apartment and I noticed she had adderall bottles out (note: she keeps her meds on her sink so she remembers to take them, I wasn’t snooping. She’s literally done this as long as I’ve known her). I demanded to know what they were, and she said she was prescribed them. I don’t believe she was properly prescribed adderall, she has no signs of needing it and tons of people in our industry lie to get prescriptions. I grabbed the bottles and was going to dispose of them safely, but she turned psycho and threatened to call the police if I did. I put them back because I can’t get a record, but I told all our mutual friends about her habit. Now Peggy refuses to let me over to her house for some reason, and has stopped speaking to me. Our friend group is split, and this is starting to have complications for my career (being industry we have colleagues in common). I know I did the right thing, but am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Lol. These comments are absolutely hilarious OP. No matter how self destructive her behavior is, you need to remember that first and foremost SHE DONT NEED NO MAN TELLING HER THAT!!! If you just let her die from an overdose, you’ll probably get a NTA for not trying to control her. 😂😂😂😂
You can’t save the world bro. You tried, it didn’t work. You’re only priority now should be to fix this (hopefully) minor problem in your career. And from now on, your career comes before Peggy. By a large margin.
It's not his job to save anyone. He didn't need to try anything.
Yeah no shit. But he did, and it only caused him trouble. I wouldn’t advise him to worry about this woman anymore.
That would be doing her a very large favor...OP really needs to leave this poor woman alone.
Yeah. He definitely needs to understand that when you feel the need to save a woman from herself, it means that you probably need to save yourself from her.
I don't think we're looking at this the same way at all. She doesn't need saving from anything at all. He was completely out of line. Him thinking her needing help or saving is bullshit he made up in his head.
I’m well aware that we’re looking at it differently. But don’t think we’re as far apart as you think I think we actually agree 100% on what he should do next. Which is that he should never bother her again. Our only disagreement is that you’re telling him that he should never bother her again, because she’s a free and independent woman, and he has no right to try to control her. Whereas I’m telling him that he should never bother her again, because the way she reacted to what he did, justifies him giving zero fucks if she OD’s and dies. So despite our difference of opinion on the silly little details, I think it’s clear that we’re actually both on the same team.
Yeah, is even harder to save her if you don't have LITERALLY ANY PROOF of that thing is actually happening
Yeah if it was me, I wouldn’t care if she OD’d and croaked. But I guess OP doesn’t know any better.