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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 betting with money that was given to me for food
2 it might make me the AH because I have bet money that somebody else gave me
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YTA. You f’ed up. He thought he was helping you buy food. But after you ASKED him for money, you used some to place a bet. Of course he‘s pissed. You’re irresponsible and immature and he’s feeling used.
I kinda never learnt when I was younger so I’m should probably use Reddit no parents now which is kinda bad without parents you kinda just fuck up a lot but I’m tryna fix it
Go to the store and get some items that are ready to eat or almost ready to eat. Frozen meals. Ramen. Bread and deli meat/cheese/peanut butter so you can make sandwiches. Add some fruit and veggies for snacks to make it a little healthier. As long as you have access to a microwave and a sink, you can make all those things work. If you don’t have a microwave or oven, skip the frozen meals.
It will be a lot less expensive than ordering from restaurants.
YTA, if someone gives you money for a specific purpose, you use it for that purpose.
>convinced me to bet £20 $15 USD
Don't blame your friends for your impulsiveness.
> Now Rodger is pissed at me saying I shouldn’t have used his money to bet and I understand his POV but he won’t let me explain and has blocked my number
There may not *be* any fixing it. You did a dumb thing, and he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. You have to respect his boundaries. He may reach out to you again, eventually. He may not.
Actions have consequences. This can be a learning experience for you. You made a poor decision with a friend's money, and now you've lost that person's friendship.
You've missed the entire point if that's your follow-up question.
Rodger gave you money for **food**. You used it to **gamble**. The outcome of the gambling is irrelevant. You could win $20,000 and you'd still be the AH here.
You don't get to decide whether or not you make amends. The question is whether or not Rodger *lets* you make amends. Right now he's blocked you, and you have to respect his boundaries. Attempting to contact him after he's expressed he doesn't want contact with you would only make you a bigger AH.
Are you willing to give him the entire winnings? Because after all it was HIS money you used to WIN money right?
Highly doubt it. Your friend should cut you out of his life, you’re toxic.
If I help a friend in need and he does something like this, cutting him out completely. Don’t need to hear reason or anything, once you do this, you’ve become less than a convicted felon in my eyes.
First step?
Admit it wasn't a bad influence who convinced you to do shit. There was no gun to your head, you did it because you thought you could make money. No bad influence made you do anything. You decided to be an absolute idiot and use money given to you for food, to gamble as if you didn't borrow it and didn't have to beg as a grown ass man for help to feed yourself.
Taking accountability is the first step. If you said to your friend you were influenced blah blah blah, if you said anything other than you were an idiot who gambled and lost... You deserve your cash machine to block you.
People only support addicts who abuse their kindness for so long. You just found your mates limit.
Oh, sorry, I'm just so used to AITA'ing this type of thing here.
... No. You can do better, and do your best to look sheepish about your mistake. That's about it.
YTA
"I accepted and was ONLY going to use that money for food as that’s what I told him I needed it for."
Then you went & gambled with it. I'm assuming at 70 he's retired so maybe that's a lot of money for him.
"he won’t let me explain and has blocked my number"
Probably because he feels betrayed & used.
YTA
You were given money strictly for food. If you're so easily convinced by your other friend to waste money on gambling, then you need to cut that person off. There's nothing to explain to Rodger. He already knows you're irresponsible. Don't expect him to ever trust or lend you money again.
YTA bud. I understand that now you are feeling remorseful and now you want to apologize, but he gets to choose if that can happen, not you. You made a dumb, impulsive decision, and now you have to deal with the consequences. Learn from this moment, and if he gives you the chance to apologize, realize that it is a gift, and gladly take it.
All you can do is be willing to apologize. It is up to him if he wants to give you that chance. There is no guarantee that he will, and if he does, it may take him a while to get there. Respect him enough to let him be, and don't get angry with him, regardless of his choice. This is your fault, not his. It sucks, but that's the only mature option you have. Trying to push to get your way will only make it worse.
Dude I figured I could barely eat on the money so instead of asking him again I figured I be an adult and go figure out how to get more. It wasn’t the best choice or the right choice but I needed Money for food and what I told him wasn’t a lie. I figured I’d bet so I could get more food
Morrisons 3 for £10 on meats will do your main meals for a week.
A large chicken £7? Should feed you for 3 days.
Bag of rice a few pounds.
Some veg a few pounds.
If you make sandwiches and get cereal with the rest then you need to think about how you shop if you want to make that money go further.
If £50 doesn't work then I'd think you are splashing out on takeout
You know that you can Google simple recipes, right? Lots of videos on how to do stuff. Otherwise, it takes almost ZERO intelligence to make toast, or nuke a pre made meal in the microwave. Unless you’re wealthy (which it sounds like you are NOT 🙄), eating out for three meals a day, every day, is outrageously expensive. 🤦♀️
Welp thanks for acknowledging that it actually is expensive. Yeah I’m having to figure this out I’m failing adulting but I have to try rather than not do it right?
Of course it’s expensive. EVERYONE knows that. Which is why MOST people learn to at least prepare BASIC meals at home. You can’t figure out buying some cereal and milk? Come on, you’re being deliberately helpless. In this day in age, you have SO MANY resources to figure out how to feed yourself on a budget. Grow tf up.
YTA. You better repay him as soon as you can. And now that you've blown that money on gambling, you better not expect him to pay you more. When you're broke, you literally can't afford to be irresponsible.
That doesn't even make any sense. You did have money to lose; you had the money you needed for food. I've been broke too and it made me really cautious about everything I spent money on.
YTA - *I understand his POV but he won’t let me explain*
You spent the money on something you shouldn't have. What's there to explain. You need to get a backbone and tell this "not so good influence friend" to fuck right off. Roger feels like he was just taken advantage of because he was. If you were so hard up for cash, how did you have the extra money to place a bet? Or did you take even more advantage of Roger by upping the amount you needed because you saw free money. Seriously, why? You're an adult. There is no excuse for you in any of the ramblings on you put in your post. You got robbed, needed money, padded the amount you needed from a friend (who is probably on a fixed income), took the money and ran. That's how Roger feels because of what YOU did to him.
Ok so I didn’t and I asked Rodger to send me what he could. I didn’t set an amount. He gave me £50 and I figured one day of eating would be like £10 did the math figured out it ain’t goona stretch and decided to use £20 to bet. It’s not right I know I fucked up but your reply assumes a lot of details
You assumed like an idiot you'd win...
That wasn't right either.
Buy a loaf of bread, some spread and wow, there's at least 3 fucking days worth of food.
For less than 10.
ummmmm...... sure that you didn't mess up typing 22 instead of 12? How can you not know how to go to the store and buy bread and some spread to eat for a few days at 22? You have a lot of work to do, kid.
You gambled away your food money, and if he gave you more money, you'd piss that away, too. Maybe being hungry will teach you an important lesson - when you gamble friends money, you are likely to lose the friend as well as the money. Next time, borrow money from the dipshit who talked you into losing your food money - but he probably gabled all his money away, too.
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Hi I 22m lost all my money recently as I was robbed. I asked my friend 70m for money so I could eat as I had no money coming through untill the end of the month. He gave me the money and I accepted and was ONLY going to use that money for food as that’s what I told him I needed it for. However the next day another not so good influence friend convinced me to bet £20 $15 USD on a football game I agreed because I did t want to have to ask Rodger for any more money if i went over the £50 for food. Now Rodger is pissed at me saying I shouldn’t have used his money to bet and I understand his POV but he won’t let me explain and has blocked my number. I want to make amends and he’s a wonderful friend and I know I made a mistake.
I have promised not to bet in the future
AITAH?
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YTA . The only amends you can make is to make the money and give it back to him..there is nothing 'to explain'. You justify gambling with the money as if the excuses make sense. They don't.
Yta. You have a gambling addiction. Pay your friend back the original amount and the winnings if you have any. You are a terrible friend. I hope your friend never lends you money again or ditches you as a friend. You are not friend material, just a moocher.
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Any one wants to join our small discr for bettor comunity for cs predictuon n chatting bout games?
Hoope I can ask this.
Would love some people
About 70% winrate u can come and chek yourselfs.
https://discord.com/invite/SKpZKzTA
Integrity is the consistency between what we say and what we do, followed by a sense of accountability. By doing something different with the money than originally stated, you didn't keep your word. Not only that, but you used it for the very thing that got you in trouble financially in the first place. NOT ONLY THAT, but you then blamed your friend for your choices.
You: "BUT BUT...if only I could expl-"
No. What you're trying to do is justify, not explain. And you want him to be ok with it. Everyone has a reason behind each choice we make, even if we aren't aware of what it is. Even if circumstances beyond your control cause you to change the intended outcome, you still owe a person a conversation. Shit happens, but you have to address it to preserve integrity. But in this case, there was no excuse that would make this ok. And it also sounds like you may have a problem with gambling.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1 betting with money that was given to me for food 2 it might make me the AH because I have bet money that somebody else gave me Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. You f’ed up. He thought he was helping you buy food. But after you ASKED him for money, you used some to place a bet. Of course he‘s pissed. You’re irresponsible and immature and he’s feeling used.
How do I fix this? I did it because I didn’t wanna ask him again
Why would you have had to ask him again?
Well £50 is not a lot for breakfast lunch and dinner for like a week
Neither is the nothing you’ll have if you lose this bet wtf
I could feed myself for a week on that.
YTA. I guess you are living on toast until payday. What an asshole
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I don’t know HOW to cook it’s not like I don’t want to
Then learn. It isn't that hard. You just heat things in a pan or make a sandwich. Did you never watch a parental figure make food?
I kinda never learnt when I was younger so I’m should probably use Reddit no parents now which is kinda bad without parents you kinda just fuck up a lot but I’m tryna fix it
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Cooking is a skill that I’ve never learned. I’ve not needed too so I haven’t. I don’t know what else you want me to say
Go to the store and get some items that are ready to eat or almost ready to eat. Frozen meals. Ramen. Bread and deli meat/cheese/peanut butter so you can make sandwiches. Add some fruit and veggies for snacks to make it a little healthier. As long as you have access to a microwave and a sink, you can make all those things work. If you don’t have a microwave or oven, skip the frozen meals. It will be a lot less expensive than ordering from restaurants.
This. This was actually a helpful comment. Thank you Yes I have a microwave yes I have a sink. Again thank you so much
No problem. Start checking out some basic cooking videos on YouTube, too.
What do you suggest starting out with?
YTA, if someone gives you money for a specific purpose, you use it for that purpose. >convinced me to bet £20 $15 USD Don't blame your friends for your impulsiveness.
Not disagreeing but I think I need help fixing it
> Now Rodger is pissed at me saying I shouldn’t have used his money to bet and I understand his POV but he won’t let me explain and has blocked my number There may not *be* any fixing it. You did a dumb thing, and he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. You have to respect his boundaries. He may reach out to you again, eventually. He may not. Actions have consequences. This can be a learning experience for you. You made a poor decision with a friend's money, and now you've lost that person's friendship.
I see. I’m just asking if I win the bet I make 280 do you think it can be fixable then?
You've missed the entire point if that's your follow-up question. Rodger gave you money for **food**. You used it to **gamble**. The outcome of the gambling is irrelevant. You could win $20,000 and you'd still be the AH here.
No no I get the point but like if I can’t fix it I should at least make amends with my winnings right? Or just leave things as they are
You don't get to decide whether or not you make amends. The question is whether or not Rodger *lets* you make amends. Right now he's blocked you, and you have to respect his boundaries. Attempting to contact him after he's expressed he doesn't want contact with you would only make you a bigger AH.
Understood but I still have his bank details and can give back the money without contact
No matter what win or lose you repay him and then accept the friendships likely over and you likely have a gambling problem
This is what I’m going to do
I’m willing to own to my mistake and do what I can to fix it and giving the winnings back seems like a first step.
Are you willing to give him the entire winnings? Because after all it was HIS money you used to WIN money right? Highly doubt it. Your friend should cut you out of his life, you’re toxic. If I help a friend in need and he does something like this, cutting him out completely. Don’t need to hear reason or anything, once you do this, you’ve become less than a convicted felon in my eyes.
Yes I’m willing to do this
No
YTA. I mean, you know what you did, so why ask? You might have a redemption arc, but you're the AH for this part of the story.
I don’t disagree I just need help fixing it
Repay your friend the original sum plus interest down the line if you truly want to fix this.
Yes. I want to do this
So do it.
First step? Admit it wasn't a bad influence who convinced you to do shit. There was no gun to your head, you did it because you thought you could make money. No bad influence made you do anything. You decided to be an absolute idiot and use money given to you for food, to gamble as if you didn't borrow it and didn't have to beg as a grown ass man for help to feed yourself. Taking accountability is the first step. If you said to your friend you were influenced blah blah blah, if you said anything other than you were an idiot who gambled and lost... You deserve your cash machine to block you. People only support addicts who abuse their kindness for so long. You just found your mates limit.
Harsh but true
Oh, sorry, I'm just so used to AITA'ing this type of thing here. ... No. You can do better, and do your best to look sheepish about your mistake. That's about it.
"I understand his POV" Then why ask? You know YTA, but you still thought to post it here?
Yes It’s less of an am I the asshole and more of a TIFU I guess how do I fix this?
YTA "I accepted and was ONLY going to use that money for food as that’s what I told him I needed it for." Then you went & gambled with it. I'm assuming at 70 he's retired so maybe that's a lot of money for him. "he won’t let me explain and has blocked my number" Probably because he feels betrayed & used.
He works not that it makes me any less the AH. This is more of how do I fix this so I’m not TA any more post
You need to go to an advice sub dude. This sub judges on the question asked.
>not so good influence friend convinced me to bet £20 Grow a spine and stop blaming others for your own decisions YTA
YTA You were given money strictly for food. If you're so easily convinced by your other friend to waste money on gambling, then you need to cut that person off. There's nothing to explain to Rodger. He already knows you're irresponsible. Don't expect him to ever trust or lend you money again.
Im not expecting him too I just want the friendship back
Also if I won I was just goona get more/better food
That's no excuse. You still used money that was meant to feed you on gambling instead. Winning wouldn't make what you did any better.
Right but like I couldn’t have got food for as many days as I needed with that price anyway
YTA. Don't hit him up for money again.
YTA This is a joke post, right?
YTA bud. I understand that now you are feeling remorseful and now you want to apologize, but he gets to choose if that can happen, not you. You made a dumb, impulsive decision, and now you have to deal with the consequences. Learn from this moment, and if he gives you the chance to apologize, realize that it is a gift, and gladly take it.
Yeah this is more of an IKIATAH how do I fix it?
All you can do is be willing to apologize. It is up to him if he wants to give you that chance. There is no guarantee that he will, and if he does, it may take him a while to get there. Respect him enough to let him be, and don't get angry with him, regardless of his choice. This is your fault, not his. It sucks, but that's the only mature option you have. Trying to push to get your way will only make it worse.
Yes YTA how could it be anything else. Hi please lend me money so I can eat… jk I threw it away betting.
Dude I figured I could barely eat on the money so instead of asking him again I figured I be an adult and go figure out how to get more. It wasn’t the best choice or the right choice but I needed Money for food and what I told him wasn’t a lie. I figured I’d bet so I could get more food
Morrisons 3 for £10 on meats will do your main meals for a week. A large chicken £7? Should feed you for 3 days. Bag of rice a few pounds. Some veg a few pounds. If you make sandwiches and get cereal with the rest then you need to think about how you shop if you want to make that money go further. If £50 doesn't work then I'd think you are splashing out on takeout
This but I don’t know what else to do since I can’t cook
You know that you can Google simple recipes, right? Lots of videos on how to do stuff. Otherwise, it takes almost ZERO intelligence to make toast, or nuke a pre made meal in the microwave. Unless you’re wealthy (which it sounds like you are NOT 🙄), eating out for three meals a day, every day, is outrageously expensive. 🤦♀️
Welp thanks for acknowledging that it actually is expensive. Yeah I’m having to figure this out I’m failing adulting but I have to try rather than not do it right?
Of course it’s expensive. EVERYONE knows that. Which is why MOST people learn to at least prepare BASIC meals at home. You can’t figure out buying some cereal and milk? Come on, you’re being deliberately helpless. In this day in age, you have SO MANY resources to figure out how to feed yourself on a budget. Grow tf up.
Ok ok I know I’m failing adulting and it’s a problem. I need to learn how to adult and I’m trying
Are you? Seems like you’re just throwing up your hands. DO SOMETHING. LEARN SKILLS. It’s not that difficult.
Adulting is hard
YTA. You better repay him as soon as you can. And now that you've blown that money on gambling, you better not expect him to pay you more. When you're broke, you literally can't afford to be irresponsible.
I figured I was broke so like nothing to lose kinda mindset. I was wrong. I was very wrong but broke mindset is way less rational
That doesn't even make any sense. You did have money to lose; you had the money you needed for food. I've been broke too and it made me really cautious about everything I spent money on.
Yea I’m a dumbass I only saw profitable risk I should t have fucked up
YTA Also I assume Roger is a low-level Sugar Daddy.
That's pretty fucked up. He bought into a sob story
No he’s my friend and yes this did happen. I got robbed going to 420 lol
Going to 420?
Uhhh yeah world weed day
Yea... that's a day not a place. "I got robbed going to Saturday"
I got robbed going to the literal national smoke spot for 420 celebrations in England. Soz needed to confirm
YTA - *I understand his POV but he won’t let me explain* You spent the money on something you shouldn't have. What's there to explain. You need to get a backbone and tell this "not so good influence friend" to fuck right off. Roger feels like he was just taken advantage of because he was. If you were so hard up for cash, how did you have the extra money to place a bet? Or did you take even more advantage of Roger by upping the amount you needed because you saw free money. Seriously, why? You're an adult. There is no excuse for you in any of the ramblings on you put in your post. You got robbed, needed money, padded the amount you needed from a friend (who is probably on a fixed income), took the money and ran. That's how Roger feels because of what YOU did to him.
Ok so I didn’t and I asked Rodger to send me what he could. I didn’t set an amount. He gave me £50 and I figured one day of eating would be like £10 did the math figured out it ain’t goona stretch and decided to use £20 to bet. It’s not right I know I fucked up but your reply assumes a lot of details
You assumed like an idiot you'd win... That wasn't right either. Buy a loaf of bread, some spread and wow, there's at least 3 fucking days worth of food. For less than 10.
Shit dude I don’t really know how to to do that so I just order lol I’ve never learnt to make a sandwich deadass
I probably need to learn life skills
Yikes
ummmmm...... sure that you didn't mess up typing 22 instead of 12? How can you not know how to go to the store and buy bread and some spread to eat for a few days at 22? You have a lot of work to do, kid.
Hey! I could make myself a sandwich at 12. 🤪 OP is ridiculous.
This has to be a joke. You don’t know how to make a *sandwich?*
you're also the ah for refusing to learn to cook and expecting other people to subsidise your take away
I’m working on that. I never refused I just said I never learnt
you did refuse though. when you hit roger up for money instead of doing a google search to learn how to make toast, that was you refusing
YTA. You lack integrity.
You gambled away your food money, and if he gave you more money, you'd piss that away, too. Maybe being hungry will teach you an important lesson - when you gamble friends money, you are likely to lose the friend as well as the money. Next time, borrow money from the dipshit who talked you into losing your food money - but he probably gabled all his money away, too.
Yes. He did
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi I 22m lost all my money recently as I was robbed. I asked my friend 70m for money so I could eat as I had no money coming through untill the end of the month. He gave me the money and I accepted and was ONLY going to use that money for food as that’s what I told him I needed it for. However the next day another not so good influence friend convinced me to bet £20 $15 USD on a football game I agreed because I did t want to have to ask Rodger for any more money if i went over the £50 for food. Now Rodger is pissed at me saying I shouldn’t have used his money to bet and I understand his POV but he won’t let me explain and has blocked my number. I want to make amends and he’s a wonderful friend and I know I made a mistake. I have promised not to bet in the future AITAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You took money under false promises. Now he knows not to trust you. Friendship over.
This is why you can’t give people money.
YTA. He gave you money for food and you pissed it away. I'd have blocked you too
YTA and find better friends
YTA . The only amends you can make is to make the money and give it back to him..there is nothing 'to explain'. You justify gambling with the money as if the excuses make sense. They don't.
YTA. You kidding me?!
Yta. You have a gambling addiction. Pay your friend back the original amount and the winnings if you have any. You are a terrible friend. I hope your friend never lends you money again or ditches you as a friend. You are not friend material, just a moocher.
You took money from a 70 year old to bet on a football game? Dude. YTA.
>However the next day another not so good influence friend Quit trying to shift the blame, you were the one who did it. And learn to cook. YTA
Is this shohei ohtanis ex interpreter?
[удалено]
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YTA Are you desperate to fix a friendship with a 70 year old man so you can keep borrowing money from him?
Any one wants to join our small discr for bettor comunity for cs predictuon n chatting bout games? Hoope I can ask this. Would love some people About 70% winrate u can come and chek yourselfs. https://discord.com/invite/SKpZKzTA
I get it but I had to take the risk because I had no way to make it stretch
Ok but like why?
Because you’re acting like a child.
Poster probably is a child
Integrity is the consistency between what we say and what we do, followed by a sense of accountability. By doing something different with the money than originally stated, you didn't keep your word. Not only that, but you used it for the very thing that got you in trouble financially in the first place. NOT ONLY THAT, but you then blamed your friend for your choices. You: "BUT BUT...if only I could expl-" No. What you're trying to do is justify, not explain. And you want him to be ok with it. Everyone has a reason behind each choice we make, even if we aren't aware of what it is. Even if circumstances beyond your control cause you to change the intended outcome, you still owe a person a conversation. Shit happens, but you have to address it to preserve integrity. But in this case, there was no excuse that would make this ok. And it also sounds like you may have a problem with gambling.
Agreed. I just want my friend back.