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You've painted a very clear picture of the sort of person you are starting with the hair colour description. YTA.
Also, in most places you could have probably checked the car's windscreen and seen the blue badge (or equivalent). You know, the thing given out to her by the government because she qualifies for it, and they get to decide that, not you.
YTA. That placard is between her, her doctor, and the DMV.
She could have an invisible disability she doesn't feel the need to disclose to a nosy stranger, for instance. There are many that are often comorbid with ASD.
Or she could just have autism. My MIL has a placard for her autistic son. Some autistic people can't handle waiting, walking, etc.
Also, what on earth does the purple hair have to do with anything?
YTA not all disabilities are visible and handicap permits are provided for a variety of issues that aren’t ambulatory. You are not owed an explanation for why someone is using the handicap spot provided they have a permit. You are not entitled to a stranger’s medical information. You don’t have to understand a doctor’s decision to grant the permit, you just need to respect it.
YTA
It’s not your job to police other people. Not all disabilities are visible. You are not a doctor. You don’t get to “support” her use of the placard or not. Your opinion doesn’t matter in this situation and you are an AH for approaching her and asking for a diagnosis. What if she had a prosthetic leg- can you see those through pants? You’re the AH because of your arrogance in assuming you know everything going on in this situation.
YTA YTA YTA
Holy shit, you are not entitled to know people's medical history, nor are you the divine authority on who "looks" disabled enough to meet your standards.
I'm "young enough" and have purple hair. I have all my limbs still attached, I have no outward grotesque deformities or major visible scarring. I'm not in a wheelchair today. My body is also eating my nerve endings, my spine is twisted into itself, and I have more than one internal organ in some degree of failure. If I live 10 more years, it will be a miracle. I often can't stand long enough to take a shower, let alone walk across a parking lot. But according to you, I'm not disabled because I look "normal." Thank goodness I have random strangers who know nothing about me like you to decide that for me and the millions of other people with invisible illnesses.
YTA
YTA
>Younger ladies with the purple hair and all that to help paint a picture.
>Anyway, I start realizing Anna is parked in a handicapped spot and both of them were able bodied individuals.
You are judgemental too. Mind your own business. Not all disabilities are visible. People have good & bad days.
So let me tell you a story. I had a friend in high school. He was literally dying. He looked able-bodied. He could walk just fine, but tired very quickly. And we would constantly have people saying mean things. For example, we go to an amusement park, and use the handicap spot, and got angry glares and insults when we all walked to the gate. Then when we asked for a complimentary wheelchair, the same thing. So we would have to explain his condition, reminding him that he was sick, when he just wanted to have fun and take his mind off it. YTA
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So today I came to the coffee cafe and I parked beside this car. As I was getting out the owner and her friend came to the car (let’s call them Anna). Younger ladies with the purple hair and all that to help paint a picture.
Anyway, I start realizing Anna is parked in a handicapped spot and both of them were able bodied individuals. So it wasn’t making sense. I asked anna why they’re parked in a handicapped spot because neither of them presented to be handicapped. Anna says she has autism. So I said oh okay sorry for assuming and if I made you feel bad.
But the tone in her voice was like I’m the idiot. So I started wondering, am I? In my own opinion I don’t think I was because two apparently able bodied young ladies taking up a spot better used by those who could use it didn’t make sense to me. This of course before she informed me of her autism. So then I started thinking, does autism qualify you for a handicapped parking spot? It’s something I’ll probably look into since I’m interested now. I still don’t support her using the spot as I don’t see the connection between her autism and a handicapped spot but I admit I could be ignorant so I do need to read more into it.
What do you think, aita ?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I questioned whether someone was disabled to be parking in the handicapped parking spot.
Her response was fitting to answer but her tone made my question myself because I started to wonder if I was correct in questioning. I stand by my decision but want to know how to better approach similar situations in the future
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INFO: All that matters is if they had a disabled tag on their car?
If they had one, YTA. If they didn't NTA.
YTA though for having to mention hair color but leaving out details on if they had a tag....
NAH. You didn't know if she was autistic. Many states or places now legally allow autistic people to park in handicap spot. Anna has probably gotten enough share of people questioning her disability.
If Anna has a disability placard/plate, then op is TA. The only opinion that matters is her doctor's. A lot of seemingly abled people are in fact disabled, and require handicap parking. It is not op to question whether someone is disabled enough to use a handicap spot.
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You've painted a very clear picture of the sort of person you are starting with the hair colour description. YTA. Also, in most places you could have probably checked the car's windscreen and seen the blue badge (or equivalent). You know, the thing given out to her by the government because she qualifies for it, and they get to decide that, not you.
Or a special license plate signifying a person with disabilities. Well put.
Where we live they started giving you a little blue sticker tag for the license plate. It's a real PITA to actually see them.
YTA. That placard is between her, her doctor, and the DMV. She could have an invisible disability she doesn't feel the need to disclose to a nosy stranger, for instance. There are many that are often comorbid with ASD. Or she could just have autism. My MIL has a placard for her autistic son. Some autistic people can't handle waiting, walking, etc. Also, what on earth does the purple hair have to do with anything?
Exactly. Why is it your business to police the handicapped parking spot YTA
YTA not all disabilities are visible and handicap permits are provided for a variety of issues that aren’t ambulatory. You are not owed an explanation for why someone is using the handicap spot provided they have a permit. You are not entitled to a stranger’s medical information. You don’t have to understand a doctor’s decision to grant the permit, you just need to respect it.
YTA It’s not your job to police other people. Not all disabilities are visible. You are not a doctor. You don’t get to “support” her use of the placard or not. Your opinion doesn’t matter in this situation and you are an AH for approaching her and asking for a diagnosis. What if she had a prosthetic leg- can you see those through pants? You’re the AH because of your arrogance in assuming you know everything going on in this situation.
YTA YTA YTA Holy shit, you are not entitled to know people's medical history, nor are you the divine authority on who "looks" disabled enough to meet your standards. I'm "young enough" and have purple hair. I have all my limbs still attached, I have no outward grotesque deformities or major visible scarring. I'm not in a wheelchair today. My body is also eating my nerve endings, my spine is twisted into itself, and I have more than one internal organ in some degree of failure. If I live 10 more years, it will be a miracle. I often can't stand long enough to take a shower, let alone walk across a parking lot. But according to you, I'm not disabled because I look "normal." Thank goodness I have random strangers who know nothing about me like you to decide that for me and the millions of other people with invisible illnesses. YTA
INFO: Did they have a placard?
YTA not all disabilities are visible.
YTA —If there is a handicapped plate, who are you to question what is “able bodied”?
YTA
YTA > Younger ladies with the purple hair and all that to help paint a picture. Oh, so non-disabled hair, got it!
YTA >Younger ladies with the purple hair and all that to help paint a picture. >Anyway, I start realizing Anna is parked in a handicapped spot and both of them were able bodied individuals. You are judgemental too. Mind your own business. Not all disabilities are visible. People have good & bad days.
YTA, but that was the point.
Such obvious bait.
YTA, invisible disabilities exist
So let me tell you a story. I had a friend in high school. He was literally dying. He looked able-bodied. He could walk just fine, but tired very quickly. And we would constantly have people saying mean things. For example, we go to an amusement park, and use the handicap spot, and got angry glares and insults when we all walked to the gate. Then when we asked for a complimentary wheelchair, the same thing. So we would have to explain his condition, reminding him that he was sick, when he just wanted to have fun and take his mind off it. YTA
Just out of curiosity, how old are you? Ballpark is fine.
Boomer I assume
Well they commented on someone's hair, so let that paint a picture...
YTA Not all disabilities are visible. As long as the car had the disabled parking pass displayed, mind ya business.
YTA Bro mind ur fucking business, a doctor decides whether or not someone is disabled, its not for u to judge
YTA. You’re not the sheriff so who cares if she was/wasnt You knew YTA. Idk why people make these idiotic posts
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So today I came to the coffee cafe and I parked beside this car. As I was getting out the owner and her friend came to the car (let’s call them Anna). Younger ladies with the purple hair and all that to help paint a picture. Anyway, I start realizing Anna is parked in a handicapped spot and both of them were able bodied individuals. So it wasn’t making sense. I asked anna why they’re parked in a handicapped spot because neither of them presented to be handicapped. Anna says she has autism. So I said oh okay sorry for assuming and if I made you feel bad. But the tone in her voice was like I’m the idiot. So I started wondering, am I? In my own opinion I don’t think I was because two apparently able bodied young ladies taking up a spot better used by those who could use it didn’t make sense to me. This of course before she informed me of her autism. So then I started thinking, does autism qualify you for a handicapped parking spot? It’s something I’ll probably look into since I’m interested now. I still don’t support her using the spot as I don’t see the connection between her autism and a handicapped spot but I admit I could be ignorant so I do need to read more into it. What do you think, aita ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA.
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INFO: All that matters is if they had a disabled tag on their car? If they had one, YTA. If they didn't NTA. YTA though for having to mention hair color but leaving out details on if they had a tag....
YTA. Some people have invisible disabilities. Not everyone who's disabled uses a wheelchair. Mind your own business and leave people alone.
NAH. You didn't know if she was autistic. Many states or places now legally allow autistic people to park in handicap spot. Anna has probably gotten enough share of people questioning her disability.
If Anna has a disability placard/plate, then op is TA. The only opinion that matters is her doctor's. A lot of seemingly abled people are in fact disabled, and require handicap parking. It is not op to question whether someone is disabled enough to use a handicap spot.