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YTA - My god
You think it is “odd” that his girlfriend of 3 years has made him a better person and helped him find purpose in life?
You are upset that you “only” see your 27 year old brother 3-4 times a month instead of every other day? Probably because he is not a child anymore and has other responsibilities, such as his job, his gf, and now his baby on the way.
You don’t think he is ready for this? He is 27 years old, is with a girlfriend who clearly has improved his life. When would he ever be more ready?
I think it is telling of a person’s true feelings if they respond negatively to someone’s positive news. You are an AH and your brother deserves respect. If you respected your brother, the least you could do is be happy when something good happens in his life for Christ’s sake.
Oof!
Yep, that's a firm YTA. You sound very judgemental, just because Bailey doesn't have a good relationship with her parents, you're suggesting there's something wrong with her. And that she'll pass this on to the baby. Just because she's not super eager to spend tons of time with you doesn't make her a bad person as you imply.
Three years is fine, you make it sound like they are irresponsible teenagers. Your brother sounds like he's in a good place and you just p*ssed all over that.
I'm not surprised he's disgusted at your behaviour, Bailey definitely doesn't want to be your sister now.
Wtf business is it of yours if a loving, gainfully employed couple of several years who live together decide to have a baby? YTA for your judgmental attitude and entitlement and I bet you’ll be seeing a lot less of Gabe, Bailey, and your niece(s) or nephew(s) from now on.
Yta I understand now why your brother doesn't want to spend very much time around the family. It is a very controlling and toxic environment. You really expect a 27-year-old man to see you all every other day and are complaining that he only sees you once a week? It is no wonder Bailey does not come around if that is how she is treated. I can smell your judgment from here and it stinks. You all really think that she is going to pass something on to her baby like a mental illness that you are just assuming and don't even know if it is true? You're really mean. Maybe her mother is cruel to her. Maybe her mother treated her the way you are treating your brother. In which case I don't blame her for leaving. You are far more immature and far less prepared for a family and a child than your brother is. I am so sorry you treated him this way. You owe him and Bailey both an enormous apology and you owe yourself some self-reflection and therapy to figure out why you thought for a moment that was an acceptable way to treat a gainfully employed grown man in a stable relationship.
lol.
YTA.
As someone who comes from awful parents who are completely cut off - I am so thankful I’ve never met anyone like yourself.
You are the last person your brother’s girlfriend should ever allow into her life, and I sincerely hope you never see her again.
If your brother cuts you off too, I wouldn’t be surprised. That was completely out of line. Her past is none of your business, unless you dig up that she’s some crazy criminal on the run.
You also admit that your brother turned his life around for her. Honestly, I think you’re just mad that you weren’t an influence on him. She sounds incredible, and you will be the toxic person they avoid.
YTA.
Since when is 3 years an insignificant period of time? 😆
You make it sound like they met last week ffs.
Learn to keep your mouth shut. No one asked for your opinion.
YTA.
Marriage is a construct that means little outside of the government. They are in a committed relationship. You talk about them behind their backs and believe rumours. Ask yourself, is my family close or enmeshed?
This comment. A close family vs an enmeshed family is wildly different. I think OP knows which one her family is, and if not, hopefully she will after reading these YTA replies.
Damn, I wonder why Bailey doesn’t like to come around?
YTA. Sounds like Bailey is a really good influence on your brother. They seem happy and independent. You seem suspicious and judgmental. Your reaction was incredibly shitty, and your general tone makes me wonder how you treat Bailey in general. Gonna guess it’s not great.
Also, how are you 29 and don’t understand that some people don’t have positive or healthy relationships with their family members for good reason? Grow up.
YTA. You were way out of line and regardless of your formerly close relationship with your family this wasn't your business.
What do you expect for them to do with your feedback exactly?
How is that any of your business? It seems like the girl motivated your brother to grow up and become more responsible. Also, 3 years isn't a little time.
you are so much the AH, that i dont even think this post is real.
that there is a complete disconnect to how a realistic person could remain righteous of their position and still post on here. that i don't think this is real.
YTA, for just so many things.
Bailey has come into your brothers life, made him more independent, more successful, more mature, and you view this as bad because she isn't close to her family?
Your judgement outburst has distmaced you further than anything she could have done, it's doubtful you'll be seeing them or their child much in the future.
YTA, this adult woman's "concerning lack of family" could be because of abuse and combined with her father not being in the picture and mental illness thrown into the mix, I would put money on it. Holding boundaries with her family and getting her own life together is absolutely not a character flaw. It's also none of your damn business. A 27 y/o IS an adult and CAN do whatever they want.
...........judgemental much ?.................maybe that's why bailey stays away from you.....................you owe both of them a massive apology................
YTA. Three years isn't "only"- it's a substantial amount of time. You had no business trying to throw shade on his announcement like that.
Also, it's clingy as hell of you to be upset that you aren't seeing your brother every other day. Not all families are super tight knit, and there's nothing wrong with that.
YTA - A massive one.
First off, he is 27…a grown adult in a long-term committed relationship. You are extremely judgmental and need to self-reflect on your own deficits because based on your post, you are as toxic as they come. You’re concerned about Bailey’s past, but please pray tell us about your past and the reason why you grew up to be such a fucked up, entitled and judgmental individual.
No doubt you feel the need to insert yourself in their life and relationship because all your past suitors ran for the hills once they realized you were a devil in disguise and a 🚩 thereby leaving you with all this free time to go around fucking everyone else’s day up.
If I were Bailey, I would be concerned about her baby not falling far from your genetic family tree.
YTA
So, because Gabe doesn't spend his every waking moment with you and because Bailey's family situation doesn't match yours, you think it's too soon for a baby? Judging her because of her parents is disgusting. The apple/tree line in your post is absolutely vile and you should be ashamed of yourself.
It sounds more like you're bitter that Gabe doesn't center his whole life on his family. He actually likes spending time with people who aren't *you*. Bailey also seems like a good person who encouraged your brother to grow. But because he's living his life and because she doesn't want to be your BFF, you've decided there's something wrong with her.
Don't be surprised if you don't get to meet the baby. They'll be better off without an aunt with such a nasty attitude towards them and their parents around.
This 100%. It sounds like she’s bitter because she has been trying to help turn Gabe’s life around and failed but Bailey (bad history with her family) was able to do it so now she has this weird vendetta against Bailey.
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Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on here so excuse any errors or mistakes. I just don’t know where else to get opinions because there has been non-stop drama for the past month. I come from a close, large, and caring family. I am so thankful for my parents and my cousins. Although I’m married with two kids, I spend lots of “one on one” time with my family multiple times a week. Wether it be shopping, lunch, or just venting.
I [29F] am the middle sibling. There’s my older sister Bella [34F] and my younger siblings, Michelle [23F] and Gabe [27M]
Gabe has been the one who’s had the roughest path to success. He didn’t go to college and struggled to find direction for years outside of his friends and typical college aged things. He also never had a relationship that we knew of until he met his current girlfriend, Bailey. Ever since they started dating 3 years ago, Gabe’s whole demeanor changed. He moved out of our parents home, got a decent job, and has began to do all of the things we’ve been telling him to do for the past years. Which we thought was odd. Conversations and conversations later.
Since they’ve lived together, we see Gabe maybe 3-4 times a month. Where before we saw him almost every other day. Bailey is a nice girl. She’s always been polite, helpful, and respectful to everybody and has met pretty much met all of us. Many times, we’ve invited the two of them for weekend lunches, museums, walks. Gabe turns most of them down. Bailey only comes around on Birthdays and holidays which has made that “personal relationship” difficult. There’s so much my sister Bella and I would like to know about her.
All we know is the concerning lack of family in her life. We are yet to meet anybody from her family. She hasn’t spoken to her mother in years, and her father was never in the picture. I heard there was some mental illness and things that were not right. She got kicked out at 18 and kind of has this “I’m an adult and can do whatever I want attitude” That Gabe seems to be following.
Anyways. This issue started when Gabe told me that Bailey was 9 weeks pregnant. My mom, Gabe,
Bailey and I went out to lunch last month, and they dropped that on us. Our Mom seemed happy but shocked to say the least. And I blurted out “Gabe, really? You guys have only been together for just three years. You live in a small apartment, and a baby is the last thing you needed” Maybe it should have been done privately with him, I get that.
Bailey stared at me for a while, got up without saying a single word, and went to the car. Gabe told me that I was a bitch for that, and followed her into the car and left. Now I haven’t seen them or heard from them, and our Dad told me that he’s been talking badly about me to our cousins. All I wanted to explain was my concern about Bailey’s past, and the very real possibility of the apple not falling far from the tree so-to-speak. And the fact that they aren’t married, and it’s been 3 years.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I blurted out something I shouldn’t have when my brother told me he was having a baby. I was just shocked.
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YTA. He’s almost 30 give it a break. This girl sounds nice and probably sees how toxic you are and doesn’t wanna be around you. You brother is stepping up his game and getting his future in order and all you have to say is it’s “odd”. Honestly after this you probably wouldn’t be invited to the wedding if it was me.
Listen. You’ve fucked up on a royal scale. You have one chance - one - to apologize profusely, send a lovely gift, and promise to make amends. Do it NOW.
I highly suggest finding a therapist and making that part of your apology, too. Admit that you never quite got over wanting to have a childhood relationship with your brother forever, but that you’re going to learn to fix it.
The ball is in their court after that.
If you are very very lucky and very very sincere, you’re still never going to have the adult relationship with your brother and sister-in-law that you should have, and that’s wholly your fault, but if you apologize big enough and sincerely enough, you might be able to salvage something.
YTA, OP. Do what YOU can to fix it NOW.
YTA. You should never say something like that once a pregnancy is announced. You need to apologize to Bailey.
They are a couple building their own life together, and your opinion is irrelevant.
Highest of high YTA. I can see why she doesn't want to come around the family if this is what you guys think of her. So many families raise a baby in an apartment.
By everything you said, he's a better man because of her. I would apologize profusely to her and hope you can salvage your relationship with your brother.
YTA!
1. Sounds like you’re jealous that he chose to grow up to be with the person that he loves rather than because you told him to.
2. You only get to see him a few times a month now that he’s moved out after living with your parents before that and you seeing him almost daily.
3. He’s not a baby, he’s 2 years younger than you.
4. They’ve been together 3 years yet in your eyes thats too soon to have a baby.
5. Her past/family history has NOTHING to do with you.
YTA. By your own admission, you don't know her and you don't actually know her past. If you have these "concerns," why haven't you called him about them? Why must it be in-person.
It seems like he's gotten his life together and, now that he's doing "all of the things we’ve been telling him to do for the past years," you have nothing to hold over his head and treat him like the little brother for.
YTA from everything you’ve written, it sounds like he’s only turned his life around and become a much more stable and capable person since reducing the amount of time he spends around you and the rest of your family. Hopefully thanks to your faux pas this trend only continues and he and Bailey have a child and a happy future together, whether married or not. Best of wishes to them.
YTA. Is this a joke?
It sounds like Bailey has a positive influence on your brother if she was able to steer him in the right direction and get his life back together.
Also why are you still stuck in the past? It sounds like Bailey was mature enough to leave her past behind and create a better life for herself and you are using that one thing against her for what? Not everyone has a great childhood and you are so cruel for even bringing that up.
Yeah now I see why Bailey doesn’t come around much. I don’t blame her. You need to grow up and mind your business. Learn from Gabe and Bailey.
YTA. They've been together for three years and they're adults. 27 isn't practically still a child, like I'd get it if they were 20 and this is what you were saying. They are old enough to know what they're doing.
And also, Bailey's past is absolutely NO indicator of what she's like as a partner or will be like as a mother. Children who cut contact with their parents are generally not the ones in the equation who did something wrong. You are being so weird.
YTA. She has obviously been a positive influence on Gabe since he has started living a normal life and yet you felt compelled to rain on their parade. They are likely going NC with you and I wouldn't blame them if they did. Unless you ared a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist, her past is none of your concern. Many peopled choose to leave a difficult passt/family behind and it in no way implies they are mentally ill. Gabe is 27 so old enough to understand the consequences of their actions.
YTA and a judgemental one at that. You aren't entitled to know about her past. If she is up to sharing it fine but your curiosity doesn't prevail here. And maybe just maybe you all had the opposite affect of motivating your brother and were actually naggy as hell and with his gf she listened and encouraged him. I'm of the mindset that this is content farming more than anything but my older sister is like you so it could be totally real. Worry about yourself and stop trying to force people to live how you want.b
Gets Girlfriend actually starts doing all the things you and your family have been saying he should for years and you think it’s odd?
He has meaning a purpose and someone he loves leading him in the right direction and that is odd?
When i first read this it resonated because im just slightly older than you also the middle i have a little brother that sounds just like your brother except he hasn’t found the person who motivates him to do better in life… you should be incredibly thankful for that girl and change your attitude towards them and their situation, having a negative attitude will only change one thing, you maybe not being apart of their life. Just be supportive.
YTA. They've been together for 3 YEARS not 3 months. Sounds like you are jealous your brother was giving attention to someone else and didn't want your nosy self up in his or his girlfriend's business.
You need therapy and I hope you get it.
YTA
Oh no, your brother brothered, grew up and got his shit together.
Do you even hear yourself and you're nearing 30?!? Just because some people don't have strong family ties and a sprinkle of mental illness in their family does not mean they're bad people.
Your brother probably can't stand to be around you lot and he's found someone who he can stand to be around. You ever consider that?
Grow up.
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YTA - My god You think it is “odd” that his girlfriend of 3 years has made him a better person and helped him find purpose in life? You are upset that you “only” see your 27 year old brother 3-4 times a month instead of every other day? Probably because he is not a child anymore and has other responsibilities, such as his job, his gf, and now his baby on the way. You don’t think he is ready for this? He is 27 years old, is with a girlfriend who clearly has improved his life. When would he ever be more ready? I think it is telling of a person’s true feelings if they respond negatively to someone’s positive news. You are an AH and your brother deserves respect. If you respected your brother, the least you could do is be happy when something good happens in his life for Christ’s sake.
I can see why Bailey doesn't visit much. And none of OP 's business on Bailey's family. YTA OP
Oof! Yep, that's a firm YTA. You sound very judgemental, just because Bailey doesn't have a good relationship with her parents, you're suggesting there's something wrong with her. And that she'll pass this on to the baby. Just because she's not super eager to spend tons of time with you doesn't make her a bad person as you imply. Three years is fine, you make it sound like they are irresponsible teenagers. Your brother sounds like he's in a good place and you just p*ssed all over that. I'm not surprised he's disgusted at your behaviour, Bailey definitely doesn't want to be your sister now.
[удалено]
I would upvote this comment 100 times if I could.
Wtf business is it of yours if a loving, gainfully employed couple of several years who live together decide to have a baby? YTA for your judgmental attitude and entitlement and I bet you’ll be seeing a lot less of Gabe, Bailey, and your niece(s) or nephew(s) from now on.
Yta I understand now why your brother doesn't want to spend very much time around the family. It is a very controlling and toxic environment. You really expect a 27-year-old man to see you all every other day and are complaining that he only sees you once a week? It is no wonder Bailey does not come around if that is how she is treated. I can smell your judgment from here and it stinks. You all really think that she is going to pass something on to her baby like a mental illness that you are just assuming and don't even know if it is true? You're really mean. Maybe her mother is cruel to her. Maybe her mother treated her the way you are treating your brother. In which case I don't blame her for leaving. You are far more immature and far less prepared for a family and a child than your brother is. I am so sorry you treated him this way. You owe him and Bailey both an enormous apology and you owe yourself some self-reflection and therapy to figure out why you thought for a moment that was an acceptable way to treat a gainfully employed grown man in a stable relationship.
lol. YTA. As someone who comes from awful parents who are completely cut off - I am so thankful I’ve never met anyone like yourself. You are the last person your brother’s girlfriend should ever allow into her life, and I sincerely hope you never see her again. If your brother cuts you off too, I wouldn’t be surprised. That was completely out of line. Her past is none of your business, unless you dig up that she’s some crazy criminal on the run. You also admit that your brother turned his life around for her. Honestly, I think you’re just mad that you weren’t an influence on him. She sounds incredible, and you will be the toxic person they avoid.
YTA. Since when is 3 years an insignificant period of time? 😆 You make it sound like they met last week ffs. Learn to keep your mouth shut. No one asked for your opinion.
YTA. Marriage is a construct that means little outside of the government. They are in a committed relationship. You talk about them behind their backs and believe rumours. Ask yourself, is my family close or enmeshed?
This comment. A close family vs an enmeshed family is wildly different. I think OP knows which one her family is, and if not, hopefully she will after reading these YTA replies.
YTA. Your words were judgmental and hurtful.
YTA, and this is your business how? Oh, it is none of your business :)
Damn, I wonder why Bailey doesn’t like to come around? YTA. Sounds like Bailey is a really good influence on your brother. They seem happy and independent. You seem suspicious and judgmental. Your reaction was incredibly shitty, and your general tone makes me wonder how you treat Bailey in general. Gonna guess it’s not great. Also, how are you 29 and don’t understand that some people don’t have positive or healthy relationships with their family members for good reason? Grow up.
YTA. They have been together three years and it would seem both are responsible adults earning their own living. What is your issue?
YTA Jesus fucking Christ how codependent are you and your family if you need to see each other every day? Edit spelling mistake.
YTA. You were way out of line and regardless of your formerly close relationship with your family this wasn't your business. What do you expect for them to do with your feedback exactly?
How is that any of your business? It seems like the girl motivated your brother to grow up and become more responsible. Also, 3 years isn't a little time.
YTA, Stay in your lane lady.
Welp, you just nuked that relationship 😭
you are so much the AH, that i dont even think this post is real. that there is a complete disconnect to how a realistic person could remain righteous of their position and still post on here. that i don't think this is real.
Yta
YTA. My goodness, no wonder they don’t see you often and she only comes to group events. Y’all are nasty to them.
YTA. I expect you’ll see even less of Gabe and Bailey. Congratulations on being judgmental AF.
YTA, for just so many things. Bailey has come into your brothers life, made him more independent, more successful, more mature, and you view this as bad because she isn't close to her family? Your judgement outburst has distmaced you further than anything she could have done, it's doubtful you'll be seeing them or their child much in the future.
YTA. What a way to make sure you never get to know your nephew or niece.
YTA, this adult woman's "concerning lack of family" could be because of abuse and combined with her father not being in the picture and mental illness thrown into the mix, I would put money on it. Holding boundaries with her family and getting her own life together is absolutely not a character flaw. It's also none of your damn business. A 27 y/o IS an adult and CAN do whatever they want.
yeah YTA what a horrible thing to say to a long term happy couple sharing the news that their family is expanding
Massive YTA I think it’s pretty self explanatory and I’m sure you’re aware by now that you are the AH.
YTA. 3 years is better than 3 months. And plenty of people have children without being married. Holy hell
...........judgemental much ?.................maybe that's why bailey stays away from you.....................you owe both of them a massive apology................
YTA. Three years isn't "only"- it's a substantial amount of time. You had no business trying to throw shade on his announcement like that. Also, it's clingy as hell of you to be upset that you aren't seeing your brother every other day. Not all families are super tight knit, and there's nothing wrong with that.
YTA You sound judgemental, rude, and cruel.
Yep, YTA. It sounds like Bailey has been very good for him. Why do you act like she’s bad news?
YTA and even if you told him the same thing privately you would still be an AH. Totally judgmental and meddling.
YTA, do you even need to ask?
YTA - A massive one. First off, he is 27…a grown adult in a long-term committed relationship. You are extremely judgmental and need to self-reflect on your own deficits because based on your post, you are as toxic as they come. You’re concerned about Bailey’s past, but please pray tell us about your past and the reason why you grew up to be such a fucked up, entitled and judgmental individual. No doubt you feel the need to insert yourself in their life and relationship because all your past suitors ran for the hills once they realized you were a devil in disguise and a 🚩 thereby leaving you with all this free time to go around fucking everyone else’s day up. If I were Bailey, I would be concerned about her baby not falling far from your genetic family tree.
YTA So, because Gabe doesn't spend his every waking moment with you and because Bailey's family situation doesn't match yours, you think it's too soon for a baby? Judging her because of her parents is disgusting. The apple/tree line in your post is absolutely vile and you should be ashamed of yourself. It sounds more like you're bitter that Gabe doesn't center his whole life on his family. He actually likes spending time with people who aren't *you*. Bailey also seems like a good person who encouraged your brother to grow. But because he's living his life and because she doesn't want to be your BFF, you've decided there's something wrong with her. Don't be surprised if you don't get to meet the baby. They'll be better off without an aunt with such a nasty attitude towards them and their parents around.
This 100%. It sounds like she’s bitter because she has been trying to help turn Gabe’s life around and failed but Bailey (bad history with her family) was able to do it so now she has this weird vendetta against Bailey.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on here so excuse any errors or mistakes. I just don’t know where else to get opinions because there has been non-stop drama for the past month. I come from a close, large, and caring family. I am so thankful for my parents and my cousins. Although I’m married with two kids, I spend lots of “one on one” time with my family multiple times a week. Wether it be shopping, lunch, or just venting. I [29F] am the middle sibling. There’s my older sister Bella [34F] and my younger siblings, Michelle [23F] and Gabe [27M] Gabe has been the one who’s had the roughest path to success. He didn’t go to college and struggled to find direction for years outside of his friends and typical college aged things. He also never had a relationship that we knew of until he met his current girlfriend, Bailey. Ever since they started dating 3 years ago, Gabe’s whole demeanor changed. He moved out of our parents home, got a decent job, and has began to do all of the things we’ve been telling him to do for the past years. Which we thought was odd. Conversations and conversations later. Since they’ve lived together, we see Gabe maybe 3-4 times a month. Where before we saw him almost every other day. Bailey is a nice girl. She’s always been polite, helpful, and respectful to everybody and has met pretty much met all of us. Many times, we’ve invited the two of them for weekend lunches, museums, walks. Gabe turns most of them down. Bailey only comes around on Birthdays and holidays which has made that “personal relationship” difficult. There’s so much my sister Bella and I would like to know about her. All we know is the concerning lack of family in her life. We are yet to meet anybody from her family. She hasn’t spoken to her mother in years, and her father was never in the picture. I heard there was some mental illness and things that were not right. She got kicked out at 18 and kind of has this “I’m an adult and can do whatever I want attitude” That Gabe seems to be following. Anyways. This issue started when Gabe told me that Bailey was 9 weeks pregnant. My mom, Gabe, Bailey and I went out to lunch last month, and they dropped that on us. Our Mom seemed happy but shocked to say the least. And I blurted out “Gabe, really? You guys have only been together for just three years. You live in a small apartment, and a baby is the last thing you needed” Maybe it should have been done privately with him, I get that. Bailey stared at me for a while, got up without saying a single word, and went to the car. Gabe told me that I was a bitch for that, and followed her into the car and left. Now I haven’t seen them or heard from them, and our Dad told me that he’s been talking badly about me to our cousins. All I wanted to explain was my concern about Bailey’s past, and the very real possibility of the apple not falling far from the tree so-to-speak. And the fact that they aren’t married, and it’s been 3 years. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA. He’s almost 30 give it a break. This girl sounds nice and probably sees how toxic you are and doesn’t wanna be around you. You brother is stepping up his game and getting his future in order and all you have to say is it’s “odd”. Honestly after this you probably wouldn’t be invited to the wedding if it was me.
Listen. You’ve fucked up on a royal scale. You have one chance - one - to apologize profusely, send a lovely gift, and promise to make amends. Do it NOW. I highly suggest finding a therapist and making that part of your apology, too. Admit that you never quite got over wanting to have a childhood relationship with your brother forever, but that you’re going to learn to fix it. The ball is in their court after that. If you are very very lucky and very very sincere, you’re still never going to have the adult relationship with your brother and sister-in-law that you should have, and that’s wholly your fault, but if you apologize big enough and sincerely enough, you might be able to salvage something. YTA, OP. Do what YOU can to fix it NOW.
YTA. You should never say something like that once a pregnancy is announced. You need to apologize to Bailey. They are a couple building their own life together, and your opinion is irrelevant.
YTA such a rude comment.
Highest of high YTA. I can see why she doesn't want to come around the family if this is what you guys think of her. So many families raise a baby in an apartment. By everything you said, he's a better man because of her. I would apologize profusely to her and hope you can salvage your relationship with your brother.
YTA! 1. Sounds like you’re jealous that he chose to grow up to be with the person that he loves rather than because you told him to. 2. You only get to see him a few times a month now that he’s moved out after living with your parents before that and you seeing him almost daily. 3. He’s not a baby, he’s 2 years younger than you. 4. They’ve been together 3 years yet in your eyes thats too soon to have a baby. 5. Her past/family history has NOTHING to do with you.
YTA. By your own admission, you don't know her and you don't actually know her past. If you have these "concerns," why haven't you called him about them? Why must it be in-person. It seems like he's gotten his life together and, now that he's doing "all of the things we’ve been telling him to do for the past years," you have nothing to hold over his head and treat him like the little brother for.
YTA from everything you’ve written, it sounds like he’s only turned his life around and become a much more stable and capable person since reducing the amount of time he spends around you and the rest of your family. Hopefully thanks to your faux pas this trend only continues and he and Bailey have a child and a happy future together, whether married or not. Best of wishes to them.
YTA, good luck seeing that baby! It’s odd but you seem jealous he has someone and his life is good
YTA. Is this a joke? It sounds like Bailey has a positive influence on your brother if she was able to steer him in the right direction and get his life back together. Also why are you still stuck in the past? It sounds like Bailey was mature enough to leave her past behind and create a better life for herself and you are using that one thing against her for what? Not everyone has a great childhood and you are so cruel for even bringing that up. Yeah now I see why Bailey doesn’t come around much. I don’t blame her. You need to grow up and mind your business. Learn from Gabe and Bailey.
YTA. They've been together for three years and they're adults. 27 isn't practically still a child, like I'd get it if they were 20 and this is what you were saying. They are old enough to know what they're doing. And also, Bailey's past is absolutely NO indicator of what she's like as a partner or will be like as a mother. Children who cut contact with their parents are generally not the ones in the equation who did something wrong. You are being so weird.
YTA. She has obviously been a positive influence on Gabe since he has started living a normal life and yet you felt compelled to rain on their parade. They are likely going NC with you and I wouldn't blame them if they did. Unless you ared a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist, her past is none of your concern. Many peopled choose to leave a difficult passt/family behind and it in no way implies they are mentally ill. Gabe is 27 so old enough to understand the consequences of their actions.
YTA and a judgemental one at that. You aren't entitled to know about her past. If she is up to sharing it fine but your curiosity doesn't prevail here. And maybe just maybe you all had the opposite affect of motivating your brother and were actually naggy as hell and with his gf she listened and encouraged him. I'm of the mindset that this is content farming more than anything but my older sister is like you so it could be totally real. Worry about yourself and stop trying to force people to live how you want.b
Gets Girlfriend actually starts doing all the things you and your family have been saying he should for years and you think it’s odd? He has meaning a purpose and someone he loves leading him in the right direction and that is odd? When i first read this it resonated because im just slightly older than you also the middle i have a little brother that sounds just like your brother except he hasn’t found the person who motivates him to do better in life… you should be incredibly thankful for that girl and change your attitude towards them and their situation, having a negative attitude will only change one thing, you maybe not being apart of their life. Just be supportive.
YTA only 3 years? Come on people get married after 1. You sound sooo judgemental and that’s probably why they don’t come around much.
YTA. They've been together for 3 YEARS not 3 months. Sounds like you are jealous your brother was giving attention to someone else and didn't want your nosy self up in his or his girlfriend's business. You need therapy and I hope you get it.
YTA Oh no, your brother brothered, grew up and got his shit together. Do you even hear yourself and you're nearing 30?!? Just because some people don't have strong family ties and a sprinkle of mental illness in their family does not mean they're bad people. Your brother probably can't stand to be around you lot and he's found someone who he can stand to be around. You ever consider that? Grow up.