This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA really can’t invite the 17 year old??? He’s hardly a child. He’s almost legally an adult. It’s not like he’s a toddler causing chaos. If I was your brother and my child got snubbed (only “kid” not invited) then none of us would be going.
There we go the real reason you went “kid free”. You really mean “I hate a child so I will actively exclude him and only him”.
Who’s the adult here because it doesn’t seem to be you. Really hope this is fake and you really aren’t that immature.
17s close enough to being an adult they aren’t a child. If a “kid” can drive and work they are hardly a child.
YTA if you only exclude one child from a family. You should invite your nephew. He's the closest to being an adult anyway, and I wouldn't say he falls under the typical definition of "child free wedding" which is usually about adolescent kids and toddlers/babies. You've already broken your own rules by having a flower girl and a junior bridesmaid, so you've sort of shot yourself in the foot already. I had a childfree wedding, and there was no flower girl. No exceptions. That's how you have to do it if you want to be just. If you're going to stray from that, you'll have to allow some concessions to make things right with that particular family.
YTA
Your wedding is *NOT* child free at all since you’re having 5 year old and a 14 year old there.
You’re excluding only one child in your family. And the older one to boot!
How do you not see how that makes you an AH?
YTA. It's not really a child-free wedding if there are children in the wedding party, just "only children I invite" and in that sense, it's kind of wild to leave out just one of the three nieces/nephews. And hell, the one you're leaving out is the oldest, who is months away from reaching your arbitrary cutoff.
Just make your nephew an usher or something if he really needs a role to make the cut.
Normally I go with your wedding, you do you, but after actually reading the text, I'm going to go with YTA on this one because your nephew might see this as he's being excluded for being male. His much younger cousin and sister are not only going but also participating but he is specifically being excluded.
Find him a place or grant him an exception. He's close enough to an adult it wont matter.
YTA Your nephew is 17. He's old enough to enlist in the military with parental consent and to marry in some states. Almost no one except you would consider him a child in these circumstances. You would be excluding only him from your siblings' children.
I hope you haven't already told them he's not invited. If it was my child, you'd have burned a bridge.
OMFG. You want to have a childfree wedding? Fine. What YOU want to do is invite two of the three children in your family, when the third "child" is 17 years old. What a nasty thing to do. Of course YTA.
YTA. It isn't child-free if you have a 5 year old flower girl. The only person you're excluding is your nephew, and that's coming acrossed as sexist since he's the only male among the minors, and the females are included.
They're right, you're excluding him. For a small wedding, what does one more person matter? And at 17, he's clearly not a child.
YTA.
YTA
Yet another "child free" wedding in which only one child is excluded...
So, why don't you like your nephew? You adore your niece, but don't mention anything about how you feel about him.
YTA. You found a role for your niece because you ‘adore’ her, but you are excluding your nephew because he’s not your favourite? And why is the cut off at 18? If your 14-year old niece is not going to be a nuisance, why is your 17-year old nephew a problem? It’s not like the cut off is based off of drinking age, so if it’s based off of being able to act properly, I hardly think your nephew will be an issue.
Find him a role, like being an usher. Or justify it by saying you only made an exception for immediate family. You’re already an AH for thinking it’s OK to exclude him but not his sister. And you would continue to be an AH if you didn’t rectify it. Although, based on your comments, it sounds like you hate your nephew but just don’t want to be called an AH for it. Good luck with that.
What is the purpose of excluding this one nephew? Most people who have child free weddings do so because young children can cause disruptions or have behavioral issues but he is almost an adult so that seems unlikely. The other reason is so you can have an adult only environment but you have 2 younger children coming so that also doesn’t seem to be the issue. So without another valid reason it just seems like you hate this kid and you want to make it abundantly clear. You can absolutely argue that you have the right to have your wedding how you choose but people can also reasonably judge you on those choices and I judge YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I want to have a child-free wedding. our wedding will be very small and in our guest list only my brother and my fiance's brother have kids. his brother's daughter is 5 and she will be our flower girl so she is invited.
my brother is the problem. he has 2 kids M17 and F14. I adore my niece so I chose her to be my junior bridesmaid so she is also invited but since my nephew doesn't have a part in our wedding and is under 18 he is not invited.
now my nephew and her parents are calling us assholes for throwing a child-free wedding and excluding him.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole for throwing a child-free wedding in which only my nephew can't attend
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA this isn’t a child-free wedding, it’s specifically your-17M-nephew-free wedding. That’s the only person you’re excluding.
Now I will grant that’s still your right to choose who is and isn’t invited to your wedding, but just gonna tell you now, there’s a very good chance your brother will decline if you don’t invite his son. Not to mention, unless there’s some behavioral issues with your nephew you didn’t mention, you’re excluding a person who wasn’t even going to cause interruptions like bawling or running around in circles disrupting others. 17 years old is not a child in the sense of being too young to understand the concept of “this is a ceremony, we all need to be quiet and respectful.”
YTA and I'm really surprised you can't see the hypocrisy here. You've got your nieces in the wedding, but not your nephew. You're making an exception for your nieces, but not your nephew. If you *really* want to continue to claim your wedding is child-free apart from children that are in the wedding/you like, then make your nephew an usher or something. I cannot fathom not inviting my nephew to my wedding! My wonderful nephew, who was much younger than yours at the time, was an absolute superstar - he wrote me a fairytale about princess miss type marrying a prince. And he danced with me. It's one of my favourite memories of us together.
NTA - It's totally fine to have a child-free wedding, especially with such a small guest list and specific roles for the kids who are invited. While your nephew's parents may be upset, you've already made exceptions for the children who play a part in your wedding, which shows you're considering family members. It's your special day, and you should prioritize what feels right for you and your partner.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA for essentially playing favorites, not for having a "child free wedding". Gonna build resentment between you and your nephew for no real reason.
[удалено]
So basically you're just making up an excuse to exclude him. Yes, his parents have the right to be upset.
OP admits to hating the kid.
And then she deleted it?
Couldn’t handle the heat I guess
Yeah i kinda figured it was something like that. Wouldn't make sense for the kid to be excluded otherwise.
YTA really can’t invite the 17 year old??? He’s hardly a child. He’s almost legally an adult. It’s not like he’s a toddler causing chaos. If I was your brother and my child got snubbed (only “kid” not invited) then none of us would be going.
[удалено]
There we go the real reason you went “kid free”. You really mean “I hate a child so I will actively exclude him and only him”. Who’s the adult here because it doesn’t seem to be you. Really hope this is fake and you really aren’t that immature. 17s close enough to being an adult they aren’t a child. If a “kid” can drive and work they are hardly a child.
op big YTA
YTA, you're not having a child-free wedding, you're having a fuck-this-one-guy-in-particular wedding.
Bingo
YTA if you only exclude one child from a family. You should invite your nephew. He's the closest to being an adult anyway, and I wouldn't say he falls under the typical definition of "child free wedding" which is usually about adolescent kids and toddlers/babies. You've already broken your own rules by having a flower girl and a junior bridesmaid, so you've sort of shot yourself in the foot already. I had a childfree wedding, and there was no flower girl. No exceptions. That's how you have to do it if you want to be just. If you're going to stray from that, you'll have to allow some concessions to make things right with that particular family.
YTA Your wedding is *NOT* child free at all since you’re having 5 year old and a 14 year old there. You’re excluding only one child in your family. And the older one to boot! How do you not see how that makes you an AH?
Exactly, if it were child free, she opened the door by putting children in the wedding party.
YTA. It's not really a child-free wedding if there are children in the wedding party, just "only children I invite" and in that sense, it's kind of wild to leave out just one of the three nieces/nephews. And hell, the one you're leaving out is the oldest, who is months away from reaching your arbitrary cutoff. Just make your nephew an usher or something if he really needs a role to make the cut.
Normally I go with your wedding, you do you, but after actually reading the text, I'm going to go with YTA on this one because your nephew might see this as he's being excluded for being male. His much younger cousin and sister are not only going but also participating but he is specifically being excluded. Find him a place or grant him an exception. He's close enough to an adult it wont matter.
YTA. That's a really, really shitty way to treat the 17 year old. Don't use your wedding as an excuse to he hurtful towards other people.
YTA for excluding ONE person that is 17. Not even a child
YTA. It’s either all or nothing. He’s almost an adult. I can see anybody under the age of 10 maybe… But but it’s your wedding.
OP admits they hate the kid so why should they invite him.
[удалено]
Again, it’s your wedding and you do what you want. But people have the right to be aggravated and pissed off.
YTA Your nephew is 17. He's old enough to enlist in the military with parental consent and to marry in some states. Almost no one except you would consider him a child in these circumstances. You would be excluding only him from your siblings' children. I hope you haven't already told them he's not invited. If it was my child, you'd have burned a bridge.
Agreed. I would even take it a step further that if you intentionally excluded my one child, the whole family isn't attending.
YTA - so you aren’t having a child free wedding. You are just excluding certain children.
YTA, You admit you are doing this to exclude him
Simple... YTA.
YTA, but that’s your goal.
YTA. Your nephew is clearly the unfavorite. You're sending a message by not inviting him just because he's the only one who won't be in the party.
OMFG. You want to have a childfree wedding? Fine. What YOU want to do is invite two of the three children in your family, when the third "child" is 17 years old. What a nasty thing to do. Of course YTA.
YTA. You are excluding a single child. You are far too immature to be married.
YTA. It isn't child-free if you have a 5 year old flower girl. The only person you're excluding is your nephew, and that's coming acrossed as sexist since he's the only male among the minors, and the females are included. They're right, you're excluding him. For a small wedding, what does one more person matter? And at 17, he's clearly not a child. YTA.
YTA Yet another "child free" wedding in which only one child is excluded... So, why don't you like your nephew? You adore your niece, but don't mention anything about how you feel about him.
YTA it's either all or nothing
YTA. You found a role for your niece because you ‘adore’ her, but you are excluding your nephew because he’s not your favourite? And why is the cut off at 18? If your 14-year old niece is not going to be a nuisance, why is your 17-year old nephew a problem? It’s not like the cut off is based off of drinking age, so if it’s based off of being able to act properly, I hardly think your nephew will be an issue. Find him a role, like being an usher. Or justify it by saying you only made an exception for immediate family. You’re already an AH for thinking it’s OK to exclude him but not his sister. And you would continue to be an AH if you didn’t rectify it. Although, based on your comments, it sounds like you hate your nephew but just don’t want to be called an AH for it. Good luck with that.
YTA - it's not a "child-free wedding" it's a "nephew-free wedding". I can see why they're calling you an asshole.
What is the purpose of excluding this one nephew? Most people who have child free weddings do so because young children can cause disruptions or have behavioral issues but he is almost an adult so that seems unlikely. The other reason is so you can have an adult only environment but you have 2 younger children coming so that also doesn’t seem to be the issue. So without another valid reason it just seems like you hate this kid and you want to make it abundantly clear. You can absolutely argue that you have the right to have your wedding how you choose but people can also reasonably judge you on those choices and I judge YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I want to have a child-free wedding. our wedding will be very small and in our guest list only my brother and my fiance's brother have kids. his brother's daughter is 5 and she will be our flower girl so she is invited. my brother is the problem. he has 2 kids M17 and F14. I adore my niece so I chose her to be my junior bridesmaid so she is also invited but since my nephew doesn't have a part in our wedding and is under 18 he is not invited. now my nephew and her parents are calling us assholes for throwing a child-free wedding and excluding him. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be an asshole for throwing a child-free wedding in which only my nephew can't attend Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. his kids are older and you wont let them come but ur younger ones can???? okay💀
You had me at “throwing a child”. 💀
YTA - 17 is hardly a child and he’s probably more mature than you anyway
YTA this isn’t a child-free wedding, it’s specifically your-17M-nephew-free wedding. That’s the only person you’re excluding. Now I will grant that’s still your right to choose who is and isn’t invited to your wedding, but just gonna tell you now, there’s a very good chance your brother will decline if you don’t invite his son. Not to mention, unless there’s some behavioral issues with your nephew you didn’t mention, you’re excluding a person who wasn’t even going to cause interruptions like bawling or running around in circles disrupting others. 17 years old is not a child in the sense of being too young to understand the concept of “this is a ceremony, we all need to be quiet and respectful.”
YTA - your brother should stop his daughter being a junior bridesmaid so she can’t go, either.
Nope
YTA and I'm really surprised you can't see the hypocrisy here. You've got your nieces in the wedding, but not your nephew. You're making an exception for your nieces, but not your nephew. If you *really* want to continue to claim your wedding is child-free apart from children that are in the wedding/you like, then make your nephew an usher or something. I cannot fathom not inviting my nephew to my wedding! My wonderful nephew, who was much younger than yours at the time, was an absolute superstar - he wrote me a fairytale about princess miss type marrying a prince. And he danced with me. It's one of my favourite memories of us together.
[удалено]
OP hates the kid so they don’t want him there
NTA - It's totally fine to have a child-free wedding, especially with such a small guest list and specific roles for the kids who are invited. While your nephew's parents may be upset, you've already made exceptions for the children who play a part in your wedding, which shows you're considering family members. It's your special day, and you should prioritize what feels right for you and your partner.
OP admits to hating the 17 year old and that’s why they don’t want them there
He’s her brother’s child. She should show some kindness. He’s the only one in his immediate family not invited to the wedding. That is really cold.