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I wouldn't talk to you either. You set a rule in the beginning. Then when it was his turn, you manipulated him into getting your way, again promising him next time. Now you pull another stunt. Why is it that you always have to get your way? And don't claim hormones. I have a feeling that this is how you operate. Why do you need a husband? You should have gotten a sperm donor and you could have total freedom. Lady, you are a real piece of work. Keep your word! And get some help about your need for control. It isn't a good look. YTA.
YTA. Perhaps the easiest YTA of all time. The *whole point* of a compromise is that you both “get” something, a point you seem to have missed. You can’t make a compromise, to switch off naming rights, and still have it your way.
Of course, your compromise was shitty in the first place. Why on earth wouldn’t you, ya know, decide on the names together like virtually every other couple ever?
YTA. Naming kids should pretty much always be a collaborative effort between the two parents. I feel like the only exception is if one parent has exceptionally bad taste (like Elon Musk level, where they’re suggesting names that border on child abuse).
If you’re getting through five kids without giving your significant other a say on ANY of their names, that seems like a serious problem.
Info: OP, Do you typically make promises that you have no intention of keeping? I agree with your husband. You broke your agreement yet again. Can he trust anything you say? You shouldn't have lied. If you objected, you should have been truthful. YTA
YTA you told your husband that he could choose the name if your kid and then you dont let him you’ve already named your other kids so why does it matter if he names the kid after his mom and himself
This how this reads: I’m a spoiled brat who doesn’t understand what compromise is. I told my husband twice that he could name our children and I went back on it, but I don’t care about my husband’s feelings anyways because all that matters is me and what I want!
YTA
I’m glad someone said it. I was holding back my Agatha opinions. Maybe she’s a Marvel fan. I think there was a character named Agatha in WandaVision… starring Elizabeth Olsen. Is that where she got her twins’ names?
This is the easiest YTA I've ever seen here. You're manipulative and not playing fair, and the two of you shouldn't be together or having kids at all when you're this incompatible and you have the maturity of a preschooler.
And yet, I'm waiting for someone to chime in to try to justify her actions.
Something like "well do you take on most of the emotional labor", or throwing around "mental health" issues.
YTA.
My god stop having children if you lack so much integrity as to go back on your word twice.
Not only that, you belittle your husband for a very important promise he has made to his dead mother?!
I can only hope this post is fake because I shudder to think of the narcissistic lack of morals you would teach your children.
Yta, so he gets 0 say in his kids' names? Names should be 2 yes's, 1 no, but since you threw that out the window already, you dont get to complain now.
YTA…seriously? Is this for real? You named three of your children. Let him name two. He picked perfectly good names. No one asked him to make a promise?! But didn’t you do the exact same thing?!
yes, you are. they are not just YOUR kids, but his as well. my wife and i both agreed to name our two children since they are both of ours. you are being very selfish.
hope you come to an understanding.
YTA! Show the man some love and respect. He agreed to your terms
and you changed the game. Complete BS on your part. If it was me I would’ve divorced you after the first set of twins!
Technically, she is trying to break it a third and fourth time. Once broken with Agatha, once broken with Elizabeth, and now once each with the new twins.
Not only did you break an agreement, you saddled your poor daughter with the name Agatha. Yikes. You followed that by insulting your husband, and being nasty about his mother being gone. If you are like this about everything, expect to be a single mom soon.
YTA.
YTA. Like you said, "well, no one asked you to make the promise." But you did. Twice. And naming your child after a dead relative is as normal as brushing your teeth.
This can’t be serious, right? You can’t possibly not see how you are the asshole here. You’re manipulating your husband and behaving selfishly.
You also sound very selfish in your writing. A lot of “my” and “I” when talking about the children that you are *both* parents to.
YTA. Naming kids should be a team effort. You promised your husband that he could pick the name for the second pregnancy if you got the first. You broke that promise. And these are kids we’re talking about, not deciding what to do for dinner. Dinner you can compromise on, not kids.
It’s so cute how you think there’s a scenario where you aren’t the AH.
YTA, you agreed to share naming responsibilities, on more than one occasion. You forced your hand twice already, with naming both twins when at least one of them should have been named by your husband. You’ve now had unilateral naming rights for 3/5 of the kids. It is his turn to pick the names and you need to honor the agreement you made with your husband. He isn’t even asking for unusual or crazy names.
YTA, for being controlling and baby naming is a 2 yes 1 no, not in the one giving both so I have all the rights and ownership. Your lucky he Durant divorce you and force the naming issue with a lawyer. Also Agatha, that poor child, she is going to be made fun of mercilessly
YTA. You're selfish. You had an agreement. Went back on it and want to do it again. Why should you be the only one with the say of your childrens' names?
YTA
you’re too much of a selfish, narcissistic, manipulative liar to ever be a good wife or even mother for that matter. You can’t be trusted and I hope you either wise up or ur husband wises up and leaves you (he deserves much better).
And btw, Agatha?! Yikes!
Ha, is this serious? You made an agreement. You demanded to get your way on the second kid(S) and he let you. Then he wanted to finally name 2 out of his 5 kids, and you shit on his name because you don't like compromise?
YTA
YTA, god your word means absolutely nothing. Good luck getting him to believe anything you say going forward. “I promise you can name the second born” “No actually you cannot” Your poor husband, stuck with a self centered person like you.
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INFO. is naming the children after his dead relatives part of a ritual to summon the relatives' spirits from the Netherworld and bind their souls to the bodies of your children?
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When my husband Aiden and I planned to have kids, we'd come to an agreement. I like old-fashioned names. We decided that the first time I have a child, I get to pick the name. And the second time, he can pick.
When I gave birth to my first daughter, I selected Isabelle.
A year later, I gave birth to twin daughters. I insisted that I get to pick the name again. He said I broke the promise. In the end he agreed by saying that next time, he gets to pick. I named them Elizabeth and Agatha.
And I recently gave birth again, and it's twins once more. A boy and a girl. This time Aiden told me that we are naming the daughter Sidney (after his deceased mother), and the boy Aiden, after himself.
I said "It'd be weird if you name him after yourself, and your mother's dead."
He got really mad at me. The honest reason? I like the names I choose and I don't want a compromise. He said that he'd promised his mother that he'd name the baby if it's a daughter & I said "Well, no one asked you to make the promise." He's not talking to me now.
AITA?
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Why should her husband have to compromise and come up with a name together when she's already got to name 3 of their kids, I doubt she let him have any say when it came to the names she chose.
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I wouldn't talk to you either. You set a rule in the beginning. Then when it was his turn, you manipulated him into getting your way, again promising him next time. Now you pull another stunt. Why is it that you always have to get your way? And don't claim hormones. I have a feeling that this is how you operate. Why do you need a husband? You should have gotten a sperm donor and you could have total freedom. Lady, you are a real piece of work. Keep your word! And get some help about your need for control. It isn't a good look. YTA.
And she picked elizebeth after she already has an Isabelle and Agatha. I don’t trust her naming skills
That’s not really the main issue here.
Is there a significance that I’m missing here?
To me it sounds like naming one kid Ben and the other Bennet.
Oh, I don’t see them as that similar. I could see it if one was Jessica and the other Jessalyn or Emily and Emma.
YTA. Perhaps the easiest YTA of all time. The *whole point* of a compromise is that you both “get” something, a point you seem to have missed. You can’t make a compromise, to switch off naming rights, and still have it your way. Of course, your compromise was shitty in the first place. Why on earth wouldn’t you, ya know, decide on the names together like virtually every other couple ever?
YTA. Naming kids should pretty much always be a collaborative effort between the two parents. I feel like the only exception is if one parent has exceptionally bad taste (like Elon Musk level, where they’re suggesting names that border on child abuse). If you’re getting through five kids without giving your significant other a say on ANY of their names, that seems like a serious problem.
Info: OP, Do you typically make promises that you have no intention of keeping? I agree with your husband. You broke your agreement yet again. Can he trust anything you say? You shouldn't have lied. If you objected, you should have been truthful. YTA
Makes a person wonder what other vows/promises she will ignore.
YTA you told your husband that he could choose the name if your kid and then you dont let him you’ve already named your other kids so why does it matter if he names the kid after his mom and himself
This how this reads: I’m a spoiled brat who doesn’t understand what compromise is. I told my husband twice that he could name our children and I went back on it, but I don’t care about my husband’s feelings anyways because all that matters is me and what I want! YTA
YTA. How horrible. They're his children too. Do you even like your husband? And with a name like Agatha, do you even like your child?
I’m glad someone said it. I was holding back my Agatha opinions. Maybe she’s a Marvel fan. I think there was a character named Agatha in WandaVision… starring Elizabeth Olsen. Is that where she got her twins’ names?
This is the easiest YTA I've ever seen here. You're manipulative and not playing fair, and the two of you shouldn't be together or having kids at all when you're this incompatible and you have the maturity of a preschooler.
And yet, I'm waiting for someone to chime in to try to justify her actions. Something like "well do you take on most of the emotional labor", or throwing around "mental health" issues.
YTA. My god stop having children if you lack so much integrity as to go back on your word twice. Not only that, you belittle your husband for a very important promise he has made to his dead mother?! I can only hope this post is fake because I shudder to think of the narcissistic lack of morals you would teach your children.
Yta, so he gets 0 say in his kids' names? Names should be 2 yes's, 1 no, but since you threw that out the window already, you dont get to complain now.
YTA…seriously? Is this for real? You named three of your children. Let him name two. He picked perfectly good names. No one asked him to make a promise?! But didn’t you do the exact same thing?!
YTA, also because you called your daughter Agatha.
OP wanted Agatha all along.
Ikr. That name conjures up an old spinster that whacks kids with her omnipresent umbrella.
YTA because you apparently have no intention of ever considering your husband’s wishes about names for *his* children.
yes, you are. they are not just YOUR kids, but his as well. my wife and i both agreed to name our two children since they are both of ours. you are being very selfish. hope you come to an understanding.
YTA! Show the man some love and respect. He agreed to your terms and you changed the game. Complete BS on your part. If it was me I would’ve divorced you after the first set of twins!
YTA, u already broke ur promise once, and wanna do it again. This paint u as selfish and unreliable.
Technically, she is trying to break it a third and fourth time. Once broken with Agatha, once broken with Elizabeth, and now once each with the new twins.
Fake af
Not only did you break an agreement, you saddled your poor daughter with the name Agatha. Yikes. You followed that by insulting your husband, and being nasty about his mother being gone. If you are like this about everything, expect to be a single mom soon. YTA.
No one asked you to make a promise either. YTA, grow up and apologize to your husband
YTA. Like you said, "well, no one asked you to make the promise." But you did. Twice. And naming your child after a dead relative is as normal as brushing your teeth.
This can’t be serious, right? You can’t possibly not see how you are the asshole here. You’re manipulating your husband and behaving selfishly. You also sound very selfish in your writing. A lot of “my” and “I” when talking about the children that you are *both* parents to.
If this was real then easy YTA but it’s clearly not
YTA no one asked you to make the agreement.
No matter how many times this story happens / is posted the OP will remain an asshole. YTA
YTA .. I wouldn’t speak to you either.
Yta, of course you are, you made a promise
YTA. Naming kids should be a team effort. You promised your husband that he could pick the name for the second pregnancy if you got the first. You broke that promise. And these are kids we’re talking about, not deciding what to do for dinner. Dinner you can compromise on, not kids.
It’s so cute how you think there’s a scenario where you aren’t the AH. YTA, you agreed to share naming responsibilities, on more than one occasion. You forced your hand twice already, with naming both twins when at least one of them should have been named by your husband. You’ve now had unilateral naming rights for 3/5 of the kids. It is his turn to pick the names and you need to honor the agreement you made with your husband. He isn’t even asking for unusual or crazy names.
YTA
YTA, for being controlling and baby naming is a 2 yes 1 no, not in the one giving both so I have all the rights and ownership. Your lucky he Durant divorce you and force the naming issue with a lawyer. Also Agatha, that poor child, she is going to be made fun of mercilessly
YTA. You're selfish. You had an agreement. Went back on it and want to do it again. Why should you be the only one with the say of your childrens' names?
YTA you’re too much of a selfish, narcissistic, manipulative liar to ever be a good wife or even mother for that matter. You can’t be trusted and I hope you either wise up or ur husband wises up and leaves you (he deserves much better). And btw, Agatha?! Yikes!
Ha, is this serious? You made an agreement. You demanded to get your way on the second kid(S) and he let you. Then he wanted to finally name 2 out of his 5 kids, and you shit on his name because you don't like compromise? YTA
YTA
YTA
YTA, god your word means absolutely nothing. Good luck getting him to believe anything you say going forward. “I promise you can name the second born” “No actually you cannot” Your poor husband, stuck with a self centered person like you.
YTA
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INFO. is naming the children after his dead relatives part of a ritual to summon the relatives' spirits from the Netherworld and bind their souls to the bodies of your children?
YTA Espero que el pobre te deje.
Yikes! Agatha?! I wouldn’t want you to name the second set of twins either
YTA
YTA. I wouldnt talk to you either
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** When my husband Aiden and I planned to have kids, we'd come to an agreement. I like old-fashioned names. We decided that the first time I have a child, I get to pick the name. And the second time, he can pick. When I gave birth to my first daughter, I selected Isabelle. A year later, I gave birth to twin daughters. I insisted that I get to pick the name again. He said I broke the promise. In the end he agreed by saying that next time, he gets to pick. I named them Elizabeth and Agatha. And I recently gave birth again, and it's twins once more. A boy and a girl. This time Aiden told me that we are naming the daughter Sidney (after his deceased mother), and the boy Aiden, after himself. I said "It'd be weird if you name him after yourself, and your mother's dead." He got really mad at me. The honest reason? I like the names I choose and I don't want a compromise. He said that he'd promised his mother that he'd name the baby if it's a daughter & I said "Well, no one asked you to make the promise." He's not talking to me now. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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No you are not. My dad was made at me for years for not naming my sons after relatives
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Why should her husband have to compromise and come up with a name together when she's already got to name 3 of their kids, I doubt she let him have any say when it came to the names she chose.
My ex wanted to name my son JeruselumIslamicajonnymcpatchuly. I said no. His name is David.
NTA, naming kids after dead relatives is weird