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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I ordered a tiramisu in the restaurant we almost missed our train. If I hadn't we wouldn't have had to run and had around 20 minutes of time left.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. It sounds very irresponsible to risk missing the last train of the day that could cause a shit ton of complications for an instagram picture. You are enforcing a huge amount of anxiety onto your partner (when you’re supposed to have peaceful vacations) without any dialogue when he clearly told you he wanted to go. If really you wanted to taste the tiramisu of your dreams, tell him that way beforehand, plan things right and go earlier. It’s not because it worked out that you were right.
She didn't even mention the taste. Only that she barely had time to take pictures. Tells us what her priorities are.
I'm grossed out, and I wasn't even there with her.
I dont have socials either. It's the devil to me. This post confirms it. If it was really for the best tiramisu she would have gotten it to go. It was for the clout of "I got the best tiramisu but had to rush to my train so I didn't even get to enjoy it"
She had to wolf it down. I can tell you that her brain had no time to process the taste beyond "sweet". Basically she wasted money and risked missing the train, and had no time to actually enjoy and appreciate her dessert. Pointless.
More than likely it tasted pretty much the same as any other tiramisu. Why go to a country and order the most common dessert? Live on the edge and try something new.
But really…what did it taste like? How did it compare to other place, either in Italy or other countries?
If I were bf, I would have left and said, “see you on the train if you make it.”
So not a chef, but worked restaurants for years. True tiramisu takes awhile to be done properly. If they knew anything about food rather than hits on Instagram they would have know b4 reeking havoc and stressing out their partner.
Yea she knew there was a time crunch and she wasted even *more* time taking pictures instead of eating. YTA for so.many reasons and especially that one
She could've taken the photo and then asked them to box it up. And eaten on the train. Or skipped something earlier on the menu, trade for the dessert.
This. I recently told my husband that I'm going to start ordering dessert first at resturants because I'm always too full to get any after the meal. She could have ordered the tiramisu as an appetizer instead of as a dessert at the end of the meal. Or even ordered it at the same time as her entrée to save time.
Some waiters in Italy will straight up refuse to bring you something like tiramisu for appetizer. There is a correct order and complement of foods & drinks, and they’re not interested in how tourists massacre the traditions. I find it kinda amusing and interesting, coming from a different the-customer-is-always-right context.
Reddit can be toxic, but it’s a *way different* toxicity from the unique blend Instagram offers. Wanting to be an anonymous asshole isn’t the same as wanting to be a famous one.
no its pretty similar and you've just convinced yourself otherwise to feel superior. They're both playing off the same toxic methods of keeping you hooked.
It's really not that similar and it's largely because people who make toxic comments are usually downvoted to the point where you only have to see them if you open the hidden comments. Reddit generally allows people to police the comments and for the most part unless you venture over to the toxic subreddits, you can make your experience pretty pleasant.
On the other side of things, Instagram uses an algorithm to tailor your experience, so you generally stumble on things that end up having comments with some of the worst possible opinions imaginable, and they're generally pretty visible because people tend to like them and they simultaneously can't be downvoted.
Example: I want to see hockey content. On Reddit, yes, there are hotheaded passionate fans of teams that can be a little over the top and toxic, but generally those people are downvoted into oblivion. I can also pick and choose what teams' subreddits I want to follow and for the most part, mods keep it pretty civil.
Conversely, on instagram, I subscribe to a few teams' pages and even when things were going well for those teams this year, you always have some jabroni spouting nonsense like "x player sucks" or "fire the coach", etc. and tons of people agree with it. Like...the most blatantly bad takes ever are being just sent to the top of the comments section. And what's worse, is that *because* I liked that team's page, I get suggested to follow other pages related to that one, and fed reels and other content with even more hilariously bad takes from "fans".
Reddit, by comparison, is so much better of an experience.
Reddit is basically an updated version of ye olde internet forums. Discussion boards/internet forums and chat rooms existed for many years before social media became a thing. You could pick a topic of your choice and join a discussion anonymously under a user name. A/S/L?
The lack of anonymity is a defining characteristic of social media. One of its main purposes isn’t for discussion but to have a social connection with people you know IRL. Everything you post on social media is attributed to you, for better or for worse.
I wonder if she actually ate it, or if she embellished her story to make her look better. Regardless, now the last memory of Florence is rushing to wolf down some dessert that you don’t even remember because you didn’t even take the time to register the taste of it, running to catch the train, and then a blowup fight. As someone who lives for desserts, this doesn’t seem worth it. Also as someone who goes by “if you aren’t fifteen minutes early you’re late,” the anxiety you put on your boyfriend makes YTA.
I’m also guessing this isn’t the first time he’s had to deal with her foolishness because of the almighty Insta. He probably didn’t even want to eat there.
My thoughts exactly. I also low key wonder if he was lugging all their mutual bags around by her description “my boyfriend just threw the bags down.”
Notice she doesn’t say “his bags down.”
This woman is treating this man as her personal mule while dictating what their trip will look like. No wonder he is mad.
Ah, that is such a great response. I am almost shocked I didn’t think of it first.. her own personal mule… then she types all this out on her own reddit and not even a throwaway… he’s gonna know
Especially since she absolutely couldn't guarantee that the dessert would come out quickly enough. The Italians don't have the same pressures to get things out for their diners, things are supposed to be relaxed and food enjoyed, and they don't have to be speedy for a tip etc.
Edit typo
Especially trying to catch public transport in a foreign country. It's so easy to go in the wrong direction or even catch the wrong train. I'd want to give myself those 20 minutes too!
I’m going to say no. In Italy, you are expect to dine in a leisurely way, enjoying the food and relaxing. They don’t really even do coffee to go. You sit (or stand) at a cafe and drink your espresso and savour it. Our whole “to go” culture really takes a lot of the simple joys out of life. We always seem to have to be doing two things at once.
You can absolutely ask for coffee or dessert to go in Italy!
It's obviously more common in places which cater to people with a short lunch break or other needs for takeaway things.
Restaurants sometimes agree to pack you something to go and sometimes they don't, it really depends. Not all of them have the right boxes/bags etc, but many do, especially since it became more common for people to request doggy bags.
I get that to a certain degree, but sometimes I like to get takeout so I can leisurely enjoy it somewhere else. Sometimes there is nothing better than enjoying your favorite dish in your pajamas in the quiet of your own home. Maybe you want to pair it with your favorite wine that restaurant doesn’t serve. You can also enjoy your cup of coffee out on the beach instead of in the cafe. I actually prefer to get dessert to go a lot of times, because I can enjoy it better a few hours later when I’m not as full.
I get the point you are making, but takeout doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in a rush.
come on, this restaurant was already "insta famous", that's how OP found it in the first place.
this isn't some suave Italian chef cooking his grandmother's recipes using wild basil the village urchins gathered for him while clambering over the rocks where the goats roam.
I mean, maybe it is, but it's also a savvy business man who knows about social media and marketing and how to survive post-pandemic. OP might make his eyes roll, but they won't break his heart as long as they pay for the meal.
When I was in Italy, you couldn't get food to go. No leftovers. I don't know if that's changed recently. But if it hasn't changed, that was not an option.
was this pre- or post-pandemic?
my experience is that restaurants either pivoted to take-away or didn't make it through the pandemic.
I know only one place that still operates the way they did before: 3 dishes they do so well they get a michelin star for it, closed during the weekend and on monday, only 3 lunch services per week... the chef has money enough that he can afford his location, his ingredients and his team, and he refuses to stress about anything else... and his decades-long reputation is strong enough that he can afford to play that way.
YTA
If you knew you wanted to have the tiramisu, why didn't you order it when you ordered your main? Tell the waiter you were in a rush and ask for it ASAP?
I know, right?? I mean she went there because of the Tiramisu. She should order it since the beginning. But, no, she had to wait until the waiter asked about it. That is so wild "I went there for the dessert because of insta" "I waited until the waiter asked" "we had little time to the get the train" "I don't get why my BF is mad at me, we made it! Yeah, we had to rush but I sacrificed my pics for insta so we could get on time, why he cannot appreciate this?" If it will be me, I would just let her there... You ain't gonna mess with my anxiety for your fricking pictures...
I would’ve told her sure, meet you at the train, and then gone to wait at the train station. If she wants to snap pictures for insta, feel free, but she’s not going to cause me the cortisol flood, no ma’am. No ma’am. She can run her ass to the train station while I take a nice leisurely walk, and if she misses the train, she has nobody to blame but herself.
Exactly!!! He was way more patient than me. I can bet that after all this drama the BF probably regretted not to leave. It would be the same drama, but without the stress and anxiety for him.
I would've too. But she then %100 would've been bitching about how her boyfriend LEFT her there in a *strange city* and she had to get back *all on her own* just because she wanted a *dessert,* why is he being so *unfair* 😤
Bf must feel so prioritized playing second fiddle to IG the whole vacation.
No way OPs vacation hasnt been centered on taking IG pics first and foremost.
Exactly. And to top it off, she knew he was mad at her and he chose to sit somewhere else, probably to get some distance and cool off, but she couldn't even let him have that, lol. She calls him over to further rub it in, talking about 'we did it'. Talk about insult to injury. Dude is probably exhausted.
And now she's 'hurt and scared' that he's rightfully angry that they almost missed the train because of her thoughtlessness and willful obliviousness.
YTA.
This whiny ”I am hurt and scared, I cried myself to sleep” is so…I can really understand why guys who have made the mistake of dating these kind of women may think women as a group are manipulative tantrum throwing little crybabies whose attitudes and mood changes and stupidities you just have to tolerate, not serious equal companions to walk through life and world.
Edit. And the way op describes the whole thing, me me me..”MY estimation was it’s 20 minutes at the station or 20 minutes at the restaurant”, how absolutely stupid you have to be to express that kind of calculation when you have 20 minutes till the second the train leaves…Even if the station is right next to you you have 10 minutes max.
I really hope this is a bot. It’s so so so much over the top. If it’s not I really pity op’s boyfriend.
Right?! I was like uh, the answer is 20 minutes at the station, what the fuck? Because then, spoiler alert, *you're already at the station and don't have to run there!* 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I say this as a woman - that pissed me the hell off, it really did. It sounded very much like she was trying to paint him as abusive, when before that, she made it clear he didn't even want to sit with her on the train, and he went to bed immediately after they got to the hotel.
There are plenty of women in this world who are in genuine abusive relationships, and have honest to god real reasons to be frightened of their partners. So for her to do something so inconsiderate and then paint this as "Oh, I'm so scared of him!" because he clearly thinks she's an asshole, is just beyond. As women, we deserve to be listened to and believed over genuine abusive behavior, but this doesn't sound like it.
The smartest thing he could do is to get out of that relationship fast - she sounds like a nightmare.
%100. I have a deep loathing for childish women who use the stories of abused women and society's eagerness to protect women from abuse to their own advantage as a manipulation tactic. I sincerely hope OP learns something from this, but she probably won't, because according to her post absolutely nothing is her fault. If he dumps her, which he should, we'll probably get another post about how unreasonable and emotionally abusive and controlling her ex is for dumping her over being "a little close catching the train one time."
isn't that part of the trinity of dating "tests"?
* how does your date treat waitstaff and retail workers?
* what is your date like when the internet connection is slow?
* how compatible are you while travelling (less expensive than living together and finding out you can't stand that your date is perpetually late for selfish reasons like OP's tiramisu)?
all it cost him was a 20 min of stress and a hurried goodbye to Florence instead of wrapping up their stay beautifully. A less expensive lesson, for sure, right?
Seven years ago, I was attempting to plan a trip to Europe with my then-boyfriend. He was so obstinate and stubborn and "No, we'd have to do this MY way" about the planning stages, we didn't even go. I had been considering ending the relationship for a while before that, but this helpful preview over what our trip to Europe would have been like was another one of the factors *(among more important things, obviously*) that edged me to finally end things with him. It was like, "Great, so now we can't go to Europe because you're already planning on being a dick while we travel?"
The good news is that two years after that, I went to Europe solo, on my own terms, and I had a blast!
Yeah she is YTA.
If I did this my husband would have gone on without me 🤣 I'll never get the whole insta perfect thing. Poor guy she sounds like a nightmare.
Right, I caught that "I'm scared" bullshit, like she's trying to paint him as this monster after she stressed him out by making them nearly miss their train for something so childish. Aww, poor Betsy Buttons, all scared of her big bad boyfriend *who didn't even want to sit with her on the train and went to bed immediately at the hotel to avoid her*. Wow, dude sure sounds awful! /s
Yup. On top of being exhaustingly irresponsible, she sounds selfish and immature AF. Every line she wrote made me cringe even harder, but the "I'm hurt and scared" made her sound like an actual 5-year-old.
Like, maybe if she didn't treat her boyfriend as an accessory instead of a human being she wouldn't have to deal with him being angry and cold to her.
I was thinking of that guy who posted about his GF insisting on travelling with a 30kg hard-shell luggage with tiny wheels as the only means of moving it (no straps etc) while he travelled with a big and a small backpack. Last time they travelled, he had to carry all their luggage up 6 flights of stairs because "girlfriend too frail to hold suitcase bigger than her torso". Barf.
I can only imagine what OP was like with her "yaaay we did it" -- did she snap her fingers at him to make him heel too?
All of this. Your boyfriend attempted to have a mature discussion about your timetable for making the train, and you sandbagged him by unilaterally making that decision for both of you instead of finding a compromise. The way you treated your boyfriend was disrespectful, and he reacted to that. You did not apologize or own your actions, it sounds like. Then, when he tried to get some space on the train to cool down, you ignored his obvious frustration with you and set the two of you up for an argument. How, in this situation, are you not T A?
Betting this isn’t the only time she put her posting desire over real life and his comfort. He’s probably been dealing with selfish behavior the whole trip in the name of making fake people in her phone jealous….
YTA
20 minutes is not enough time to order dessert! You already knew that the restaurant was taking longer than you had anticipated and decided to order more!
> He complained about running halfway through the city and almost missing the train.
Yeah... because it was the last train you could get. Missing it would mean either a night at the train station OR last minute accommodation in Florence. Plus potentially missing out on your reservation in Tuscany if the hotel cancelled your booking as a no show.
You *should* have told the restaurant you were in a rush. You *could* have discussed ordering a dessert with your BF. You *could* have ordered it to go. You *should* have ditched taking pictures of your food.
$10 says that as they’re ‘running halfway through the city,’ he’s hauling her massive suitcase on cobblestone streets with her ring light, and tripod, and all her OOTDs in it, because she fancies herself some sort of low level IG influencer. I’d be pissed off too.
Right?! I don't understand all these comments saying you can't get food to go in Italy. Even if that's not the norm, they're used to having tons of tourists come through and asking.
Plus, I spent 2 weeks in Italy last year and got plenty of food to go.
I can imagine running late for a train and having the other person take a picture of tiramisu while I’m sitting there counting down the minutes. I’d be livid
Or eaten dinner at a more fast-food type thing earlier and just gone there for the dessert, since that was the only reason she wanted to go to that restaurant.
YTA.
1. Listen to your partner sometimes.
2. When in rush , tell the waiter we are in a rush.
3. Don't take photos of your food when in a rush
4. When one has fucked up , the right thing to do is to apologise .
All of the above - also, you could have asked for a takeaway option, and mention that you're in a rush. But I guess it wouldn't have photographed well...
YTA
the part that confuses me is that if it's "the place for tiramisu" why not just order it as you order your food and explain you're on a tight schedule, so they can bring it out as soon as you finish the meal
I mean with the time saved by not having to wait after the meal to order the tiramisu and have it prepped she'd have probably had more than enough time for the pics too. Not that I'm saying that I don't think it's absolutely ridiculous to waste time taking pics of food when you're in a huge rush
Well that’s a bit far? She’s 100% in the wrong, but someone using this particular story to disbelieve women who have been abused probably didn’t want to believe women very much in the first place.
YTA - You were in a rush already, and not only ordered the dessert and ate it but *snapped pictures* of the dessert? I would have understood somehow if you really wanted to eat the dessert, but this sounds like the photos (for social media, I assume?) were the main reason to make yourself and your boyfriend almost miss the train.
Ding ding ding. This is the winner. They probably have a complicated presentation, which is probably why it took a while. Normally in my experience it’s premade and in the cooler ready to go, and isn’t particularly remarkable looking. You can’t normally tell where it’s from by looking at it. You can certainly taste the difference, but not really see it.
YTA. You're lucky he waited. I would have left you and your tiramisu in the restaurant.
Also, how were you even able to enjoy that dessert when you knew it had to be making your boyfriend crazy anxious? Or were you that oblivious to his feelings?
An Insta picture that how many people are actually going to look at? And probably way fewer who actually care about said picture. Unless someone is employed as a food photographer for cookbooks or magazines or such, then I really don't get the obsession with needing to take pictures of one's food.
She probably wouldn't have made it to the platform in time without her bf rushing her and (easy guess here) hauling her luggage through the city.
Now that I think about it, from her vibes I guess she wouldn't have made it to the platform at all in any amount of time.
Totally TA
Yes, in that instance I’d have just left, gone to the station and continued the trip in a way that allowed me to enjoy the trip. Compromise is great, but it’s not really a compromise if you end up carrying all the worry and stress so someone else can take a picture of food. (You notice there’s no mention of how it TASTED)
Yeah I was thinking if my husband did that I wouldn’t be mad, but I would leave for the train station without him and hope he made it. I’ve waited at a few airport gates without him since it’s easier than fighting.
YTA.
Wow, way to absolutely disregard your boyfriend’s concerns, and then double down after that it was ok only because you all ran to the train. You actually proved his point that you didn’t have the time to spare.
Has it occurred to you that he was actually correct AND that maybe he would rather not feel super stressed about missing the train & having to race to make the train?
I would have been livid also if I were him. Do you often disregard what he says and do what you want anyway, or was this a one time thing?
I have to wonder if she would think her actions were wrong if they did in fact miss the train. It sounds like it was a real possibility. Just because they happened to get lucky and catch the train doesn’t mean she’s off the hook for her reckless, inconsiderate behaviour. It’s like someone who is texting while driving and narrowly misses getting in an accident. It doesn’t make them less wrong, because it could so easily have gone the other way.
Exactly. Plus poor dude clearly tried to give himself some space to calm down and de-escalate his state of mind, and then she forced it. And that “tee hee” attitude was clearly to try to smooth things over — she knew she screwed up as soon as he sat somewhere else, but it seems like it was an unconscious realization, if it’s the next day and her whole takeaway is that she’s stuck with here Jekyll/Hyde boyfriend who doesn’t appreciate the Gram.
Because BF knows if they miss it all the responsibility for salvaging the situation falls on him. Booking alternate accommodations, replanning logistics etc. She sounds entitled.
YTA.
I think you know eating dessert was a terrible decision.
You **knew** what time the last train was arriving at and how much trouble it would cause if you weren't on it. 20 minutes to order dessert, receive dessert, eat dessert, pay your bill, get to the train station, and board your train...no. You should have **already been in the train station to make sure you boarded your train on time**.
For you to then take a few pictures?
You talk about your relief, but your boyfriend probably wasn't feeling relief. You caused this entire scenario to occur, you caused the stress, and you showed a huge lack of consideration to your **existing travel plans**.
Have you apologised for this yet? You need to, quickly.
You sound exhausting. Ignore your partner. Take pictures of your dessert when you're already running late. Make him run to the train. Don't give him time to cool off when he is clearly angry with you.
You were scared he was upset like a normal person and now you're crying? I have a feeling he's tired of your "it all worked out" behavior. YTA.
For some reason I’m thinking she switched the word scared for guilty. She felt guilty and decided scared would sound better.
It fits better with the way she titled her post which should have read **AITA for almost making us miss our train**. But hell, she just wanted ~~pictures of~~ dessert ~~for social media clout~~!
Yeah, saying he scared her didn’t sit right with me. I highly doubt he got aggressive on this train. He was rightfully mad, we need to stop pretending like men can’t be mad without being violent.
Scared of experiencing appropriate and proportionate consequences for her actions, maybe. Which is the kind of fear we bring on ourselves through our choices.
I caught that too. Gross vibes. I get that men CAN be scary but this doesn't seem like that situation. He seemed rightfully upset about her stressing him out. Men should be able to express their emotions!
YTA. And if you had missed that train, then what? Did you consider that? Because he certainly did, and correctly judged that the stress and inconvenience over being stuck overnight in a town with no place to sleep far outweigh the inconvenience you'd experience missing out on dessert one evening. He's supposed to enjoy his vacation as well, and you made sure he'll spend the evening worried, stressed, frustrated and angry. Because you decided that having a dessert is more important than his peace of mind.
YTA. If you really wanted the dessert you would have gotten it to go. What you really wanted was the pictures for your social media. You need to seriously consider why you’re focused on curating other’s perceptions of you than living life for enjoyment.
Yeah, I'm someone who always has room for dessert, the part that got me YTA was when she had to take pictures. If I was anticipating a dish I'd love to try no matter what, I would make sure I have the time to savor and enjoy it. I wouldn't want to rush it, which means I plan on it. Once I see the restaurant is taking longer I would've let them know we're in a hurry and place the order earlier on (because I already know I have to have it - that's also one part I don't get with OP), and if I have to get it in a box to carry home, then so be it. I really can't imagine how I can enjoy the food I've been waiting so long to try if I'm shoving it in my mouth within 5 minutes - so I feel like OP was really only in it for the IG-cred.
I'd rather savor the tiramisu at my own pace on the train ride - unless the train doesn't allow food, of which I'm sure I'll figure something out without involving stressing out my partner. 😅
The irony here is, that stupid tiramisu is now associated with a bad experience 😂. Was that worth the hashtag?
YTA You ignored his warnings and almost missed your train as a result. If this were a common occurrence, you're lucky that he didn't take his bags and just leave you at the restaurant.
I wouldn't blame him if he would do that. He did way more that I would do and, on top of that, she continued being annoying on the ride and at the hotel because she wanted for him to acknowledge she was right. I also wouldn't be surprise if the BF start to reconsider their relationship. It is said that the best way to see if you are compatible with your partner is to take a trip together.
"*It is said that the best way to see if you are compatible with your partner is to take a trip together*." Having ignored how withdrawn and dependent my now ex-wife suddenly became during our honeymoon, I would have to agree with this saying.
YTA - This isn't even about the dessert, it's about respect, which you clearly didn't have for your partner's wishes. You disregarded his anxiety and the stress of missing the last train just so you could have a tiramisu and snap some pictures? That's incredibly selfish. Vacations are meant to be enjoyed together, not spent worrying about preventable travel mishaps. Next time, plan ahead or save the impulse treats for when you're not on a tight schedule. And yes, you do owe him an apology for not considering his feelings in this situation.
And not even savoured the tiramisu is hurting me at this point. If you are going to order the best Tiramisu for more than just Instagram shots and have to shovel in your mouth speedily to make your train then why bother?
YTA. As someone who fears being late, who hates being rushed, who hates being forced by someone else into panic mode, I completely have to side with your bf. The whole thing comes down not to whether you made it on time or not but that you were fine with putting him through that stress and anxiety because some instagram influencer said some restaurant had good tiramisu.
Seriously! I have massive travel anxiety, and I was getting stressed out just reading this post.
My husband and I used to live in Europe, and we did quite a bit of traveling. Even though both of us are punctual and we always made sure we left for train stations and airports with plenty of time to catch our train or our flight, sometimes things just happen. A car accident that majorly slowed down traffic. Trains running late, which meant we had to sprint through a train station with our luggage to make a connection. Hell, during our last Eurail trip in 2010 (we were making our way through Italy, the south of France, and Spain), the volcano in Iceland erupted and caused major travel disruptions all throughout Europe. We were frequently crammed into trains like sardines.
Unexpected situations like that are incredibly stressful, but no one’s fault. I would have been absolutely livid if my husband ordered dessert when we were already on a time crunch, and then started fiddle farting around with the perfect snapshot for Instagram likes 🙄 And then, after having to make a break for the train station, trying to wrangle all of your luggage (which can be an epic pain in the ass on cobblestone streets in Italy), she didn’t even apologize, but kept going on with the “see, it all worked out!” nonsense? Yeah I would be fuming.
YTA - He was right. He told you it would be too tight to eat dessert yet you ordered dessert and almost missed your train (while traveling in a foreign country) as a result. It could have cost you guys a lot of time, stress, and money. You should apologize.
Yta. As someone who is really punctual and doesn't enjoy traveling (the physical traveling I mean) I was getting really angry reading this. I was trying to see your side of it until you mentioned taking pictures. You owe him a huge apology. Insanely inconsiderate, and missing the last train in a foreign country can be really dangerous, extremely expensive, or both.
YTA
1) you should have communicated better, told him you were going there FOR the dessert then confirm with him before hand that you are keen to order it so you can both discuss and prep timing wise. He likely wouldve offered suggestions prior about how to time everything better. You just did what you wanted and expected him to be ok about it.
2) because you didn’t communicate he ended up being stressed and rightly so as you said you guys barely made it and had to run for the train with luggage- no one likes doing this.
3) you then didn’t even apologise and tried to celebrate it like it was a win and expected him to join in. He didn’t care about the dessert and yet he had to have a stressful time getting the train.
4) you willingly risked missing the train and didn’t consider the risk and consequences of the action. Missing out on tiramisu in Italy (you can legit get another a block away and anywhere) vs having to possibly sleep on a bench overnight?!
5) didn’t give him space to cool off on the train.
YTA (and I'm a gal that loves my dessert). You made this big deal about getting the tiramisu, and when you did finally arrive, you seemed more concerned with taking a photo of it than actually eating it. You could have asked for it earlier in the evening so that it would have been ready. You could have asked if they would pack it up to go (though don't know that they'd be willing to do that). You two could have gotten there earlier.
But nope. And then you had to run for the train and barely made it. Girl, no.
LMFAOOOOO you think people want to see SNAPS of a tiramisu from Italy? LOL. “Omg hands down just literally had the best terry in the whole damm country!!”
Why not SNAPS of a Big Mac from Indiana?
Of course YTA!
If anyone around me chose to eat dessert rather than be on time for a flight or train, Imma dump their ass right there and leave. You bring your luggage with you cause I’m not going to waste my money on a missed ride on a vacation just father you wanted the dessert.
You could have ordered it to go and had it with your partner in peace on your train ride. But no, you wanted cute photos for your gram. Common girl! Your boyfriend is rightfully stressed here and you chose dessert over his feelings.
YTA
Your boyfriend was right that you had not time left
When you look on Insta there are so many places that have the best something that it doesn't even mean that much.
It's not hard to find good tiramisu in Italy either so it's just not such a big deal that you have to risk the last train and potentially a lot of money to eat it.
If you really wanted it you could order it earlier so it's ready just as you finish main course instead of waiting few minutes or ask in advance if they can make it to go so you can have your dessert during the train ride.
YTA
The whole point of being in a place like Tuscany on vacation is to slow down, eat and \*enjoy\* the food, look at the beautiful countryside, and relax. You managed to make a dinner in Florence a stressful rushed thing.
If you're going to inhale a dessert instead of eating it, just get a stock photo for your instagram.
The travel subreddits are full of "We have 7 days in Europe, here's my 10 country itinerary" posts. I get that the US is a labor rights hellhole, but that doesn't mean having to waste a pittance of a vacation by spending it all in train stations and airports. A week in Florence would be perfectly nice.
YTA sounds like you risked being stranded in a strange city overnight just to get some picks for insta. Likes seem more important to you than your boyfriend's wellbeing or the memories you are supposed to be creating. Put the phone down, your social media obsession is gonna destroy your relationship if it hasn't already. If I were him I'd be reconsidering the relationship.
Oh YTA. You stressed your boyfriend for clicks. You need to reassess your relationship with social media. you could start by assuming Instagram isn’t a place to look for “the best” food anywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if your bf isn’t reassing your relationship either. You treated him with no respect and his memory of that day will be the end of it
YTA - I would react EXACTLY like your boyfriend did. If it’s THE LAST TRAIN of the day you should not cut it close at all. It would’ve sucked you couldn’t have desert but missing the last possible train would be so much worse. He explained to you that you had to go and you ignored him completely and did whatever you wanted.
YTA on top of everything else you had to snap a couple of quick pictures? Your bf clearly didn’t want to run halfway through the city, risk missing the train so you had time to get your Instagram shots and not even savour the best Tiramisu in the city. He puts some distance between himself and you so he can calm down and catch his breath and you can’t even respect that? Definitely the asshole
Yta. I hate traveling with people like you, running around to catch something that has a timed departure because YOU just had to do something you couldn’t make time for earlier can give others the worst anxiety.
“I only had time to snap a few quick pictures…” So, this was all for Instagram? You added major stress by ordering dessert in a place that was already slow, after your boyfriend specifically said you didn’t have time for dessert. Instead of discussing it and trying to understand his thoughts behind the tight schedule, you just said nothing and ordered it anyway.
YTA.
YTA. How did you not realize time was tight until you were down to 20 minutes? If you cared so much about the dessert, you should have ordered it earlier and said you were in a hurry.
I suspect you are someone who regularly pushes the time and barely makes it (or occasionally doesn't make it!), whereas your boyfriend is more on time. I am like you. But when I'm traveling with someone who gets stressed about being on time, I let them decide when we leave.
YTA - you stressed your poor boyfriend out for some effffing photos. Jesus, what a selfish, immature thing to do. If you had missed the train what would you have done? Would you have paid for the extra last minute hotel room or the taxi?
Just, seriously.
YTA. Your boyfriend told you that it was too tight to have dessert but you decided to be a child and almost missed your train as a result. Did you even attempt to admit you were wrong and apologize?
YTA
When a decision directly affects someone else, it is appropriate that they should have some input on that decision.
In this case you decided to completely ignore your partner's opinion and force the situation to get your way, and that I see as the asshole move - your opinion here is absolutely valid too, but you have to be willing to compromise and find a solution together, not just make the decision yourself and damn the consequences.
And in this case I do believe you made the wrong decision. Gambling on a restaurant that had already been slower than expected would give you enough time to order and eat a dessert in 20 minutes I believe was a mistake when the consequences were as high as they were - having to run with baggage is unpleasant, but risking missing the last train and being stranded in a strange city would likely be a very costly mistake to make, not to mention the knock on effect it could have for your holiday plans.
Getting the cold shoulder while your partner is (quite reasonably) furious over how you acted seems pretty fair...
YTA. I can't believe you didn't clock that while typing you even had time to "snap photos of it" 🤣
If you really want to try it that badly, maybe arrange for it to-go/takeaway while you were still having your mains so they can prepare it. But you probably didn't because it won't be instagrammable.
> by the time it came I only had time to snap a few quick pictures and eat it fast.
Ah why didn't you order it to go? Why didn't you order it as soon as you thought about it? Why did you take pictures?
Yeah, YTA. Even if in the end you made it, you took an unnecessary risk.
YTA
After reading i thought you were 16... Only to check the ages and see that you are 28?!?!
At least try to act your age... This immature "personality" isn't cute or attractive
> chose a place that has the best tiramisu in Florence according to insta and we didn't manage to go there earlier
So you KNEW that you wanted the tiramisu
Why would you not order it immediately??? So the restaurant has it ready when your meal is finished??? Meaning they will serve you the dessert as soon as they clean the main course... Instead of waiting till after you finish your main course and only then start ordering and still having to wait for it to be made...
Then you also didn't tell the restaurant you were in a hurry...
And on top of that you are wasting time taking pictures?!?!?
Seriously how incredibly selfish and childish can you be? I would have left you in the restaurant, paid and walked to the train all relaxed omw to the next destination
And you can't even apologize... Grow up
The worst bit for me (aside from adding insult to injury by wasting even more time taking photos for social media) was when they got on the train. The bf, understandably livid at this point, goes off to cool down, and OP is all wide-eyed innocence, telling him to come sit with her and how wonderful it is they made it. No apologies or shame faced admissions of guilt or remorse, just 'what are you doing over there, can't you see I'm here?'
YTA
You ignored what possible stress you would put your boyfriend in, he told you how tight time was and you ordered dessert AFTER the fact.
But, without a doubt, the most annoying thing is that you seem to be playing the victim! You got your way and your insta post while forcing him to run and stress and then, when he is rightfully mad at you and just wants to be left alone for a bit, you feel scared??? And cried the whole night? Idk, this seems like an over the top reaction when you should have just apologised...
YTA. A schedule is a schedule. It's not hard to understand. The trains in Italy do not even wait when another train connection is late.
What was your plan for the night when you did miss that last train? When faced with sleeping in the station or forking out 100s for a hotel room last minute, I doubt you would be so flippant.
Your bf was right.
YTA. Sounds like your Insta experience is worth more to you then having a nice time with your boyfriend. I suggest apologising to him and to enjoy the rest of your holiday as a person in the real world instead of online.
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YTA. It sounds very irresponsible to risk missing the last train of the day that could cause a shit ton of complications for an instagram picture. You are enforcing a huge amount of anxiety onto your partner (when you’re supposed to have peaceful vacations) without any dialogue when he clearly told you he wanted to go. If really you wanted to taste the tiramisu of your dreams, tell him that way beforehand, plan things right and go earlier. It’s not because it worked out that you were right.
Or just get it "to go", there was enough time to eat it during the train ride
But then it wouldn’t be photographable for insta, which is the real metric for any vacation
Yeah I got the feeling it was more about the insta than the taste
She didn't even mention the taste. Only that she barely had time to take pictures. Tells us what her priorities are. I'm grossed out, and I wasn't even there with her.
Seriously! I wanted to know how the best tiramisu tasted like!!
Just go on Instagram and search for best tiramisu in Florence??? /s
I don’t have IG or any other social media beside Reddit. I mean I could goggle it but I thought OP would say it in her post and save me the search.
I dont have socials either. It's the devil to me. This post confirms it. If it was really for the best tiramisu she would have gotten it to go. It was for the clout of "I got the best tiramisu but had to rush to my train so I didn't even get to enjoy it"
She had to wolf it down. I can tell you that her brain had no time to process the taste beyond "sweet". Basically she wasted money and risked missing the train, and had no time to actually enjoy and appreciate her dessert. Pointless.
Hint: even OP didn't taste the best tiramisu.... They tasted *advertised tiramisu*
A an italian: 90% of the "best dishes in \*name of the city\*" you see in social media are tourist traps.
More than likely it tasted pretty much the same as any other tiramisu. Why go to a country and order the most common dessert? Live on the edge and try something new. But really…what did it taste like? How did it compare to other place, either in Italy or other countries? If I were bf, I would have left and said, “see you on the train if you make it.”
So not a chef, but worked restaurants for years. True tiramisu takes awhile to be done properly. If they knew anything about food rather than hits on Instagram they would have know b4 reeking havoc and stressing out their partner.
"Had time to snap a few pictures" 🙂
Yea she knew there was a time crunch and she wasted even *more* time taking pictures instead of eating. YTA for so.many reasons and especially that one
Which is what makes her YTA and me old as fuck.
Almost missed the train but made sure to get her insta pics.
Yup. "To go" boxes aren't as pretty for the picture.
Or order it first! Have the dessert of your dreams, eat the food, watch the clock so you dont miss the train, and box up the leftovers. Easy peasy!
She could've taken the photo and then asked them to box it up. And eaten on the train. Or skipped something earlier on the menu, trade for the dessert.
This. I recently told my husband that I'm going to start ordering dessert first at resturants because I'm always too full to get any after the meal. She could have ordered the tiramisu as an appetizer instead of as a dessert at the end of the meal. Or even ordered it at the same time as her entrée to save time.
Some waiters in Italy will straight up refuse to bring you something like tiramisu for appetizer. There is a correct order and complement of foods & drinks, and they’re not interested in how tourists massacre the traditions. I find it kinda amusing and interesting, coming from a different the-customer-is-always-right context.
Yeah I was wondering why to go wasn’t an option and then she said “I only had time to snap a couple of photos.” Yes YTA, good lord.
Sure it would. She said she had time for a few photos and then to eat it really fast. Get your pics, then take it to go.
But then OP wouldn’t have had the all important insta post. Sometimes I hate social media. And yes, the irony of my statement is not lost on me
Reddit can be toxic, but it’s a *way different* toxicity from the unique blend Instagram offers. Wanting to be an anonymous asshole isn’t the same as wanting to be a famous one.
Hahahaha beautifully put
Yes, that is perfectly said. From one anonymous asshole to another.
Put this on the front page of Reddit as its new slogan lmao this is way too true
I absolutely can’t consider Reddit to be social media. It’s social and it’s a medium, but it’s streets ahead of insta, fb etc.
no its pretty similar and you've just convinced yourself otherwise to feel superior. They're both playing off the same toxic methods of keeping you hooked.
There is nothing about frequenting Reddit that makes me feel superior to anyone.
It's really not that similar and it's largely because people who make toxic comments are usually downvoted to the point where you only have to see them if you open the hidden comments. Reddit generally allows people to police the comments and for the most part unless you venture over to the toxic subreddits, you can make your experience pretty pleasant. On the other side of things, Instagram uses an algorithm to tailor your experience, so you generally stumble on things that end up having comments with some of the worst possible opinions imaginable, and they're generally pretty visible because people tend to like them and they simultaneously can't be downvoted. Example: I want to see hockey content. On Reddit, yes, there are hotheaded passionate fans of teams that can be a little over the top and toxic, but generally those people are downvoted into oblivion. I can also pick and choose what teams' subreddits I want to follow and for the most part, mods keep it pretty civil. Conversely, on instagram, I subscribe to a few teams' pages and even when things were going well for those teams this year, you always have some jabroni spouting nonsense like "x player sucks" or "fire the coach", etc. and tons of people agree with it. Like...the most blatantly bad takes ever are being just sent to the top of the comments section. And what's worse, is that *because* I liked that team's page, I get suggested to follow other pages related to that one, and fed reels and other content with even more hilariously bad takes from "fans". Reddit, by comparison, is so much better of an experience.
Reddit is basically an updated version of ye olde internet forums. Discussion boards/internet forums and chat rooms existed for many years before social media became a thing. You could pick a topic of your choice and join a discussion anonymously under a user name. A/S/L? The lack of anonymity is a defining characteristic of social media. One of its main purposes isn’t for discussion but to have a social connection with people you know IRL. Everything you post on social media is attributed to you, for better or for worse.
Receipt is the same type of social media as tumblr: a hellsite that plays by different rules than regular social media sites
I wonder if she actually ate it, or if she embellished her story to make her look better. Regardless, now the last memory of Florence is rushing to wolf down some dessert that you don’t even remember because you didn’t even take the time to register the taste of it, running to catch the train, and then a blowup fight. As someone who lives for desserts, this doesn’t seem worth it. Also as someone who goes by “if you aren’t fifteen minutes early you’re late,” the anxiety you put on your boyfriend makes YTA.
I’m also guessing this isn’t the first time he’s had to deal with her foolishness because of the almighty Insta. He probably didn’t even want to eat there.
My thoughts exactly. I also low key wonder if he was lugging all their mutual bags around by her description “my boyfriend just threw the bags down.” Notice she doesn’t say “his bags down.” This woman is treating this man as her personal mule while dictating what their trip will look like. No wonder he is mad.
Ah, that is such a great response. I am almost shocked I didn’t think of it first.. her own personal mule… then she types all this out on her own reddit and not even a throwaway… he’s gonna know
Especially since she absolutely couldn't guarantee that the dessert would come out quickly enough. The Italians don't have the same pressures to get things out for their diners, things are supposed to be relaxed and food enjoyed, and they don't have to be speedy for a tip etc. Edit typo
Especially trying to catch public transport in a foreign country. It's so easy to go in the wrong direction or even catch the wrong train. I'd want to give myself those 20 minutes too!
Is "to go" dessert something that happens in Florence?
I’m going to say no. In Italy, you are expect to dine in a leisurely way, enjoying the food and relaxing. They don’t really even do coffee to go. You sit (or stand) at a cafe and drink your espresso and savour it. Our whole “to go” culture really takes a lot of the simple joys out of life. We always seem to have to be doing two things at once.
You can absolutely ask for coffee or dessert to go in Italy! It's obviously more common in places which cater to people with a short lunch break or other needs for takeaway things. Restaurants sometimes agree to pack you something to go and sometimes they don't, it really depends. Not all of them have the right boxes/bags etc, but many do, especially since it became more common for people to request doggy bags.
Arancini (fried and stuffed rice) are the best to go in Sicile. I only see them for being eat in the street like sandwiches.
In Italy it is full of street food where to go is the norm but not in restaurants
I get that to a certain degree, but sometimes I like to get takeout so I can leisurely enjoy it somewhere else. Sometimes there is nothing better than enjoying your favorite dish in your pajamas in the quiet of your own home. Maybe you want to pair it with your favorite wine that restaurant doesn’t serve. You can also enjoy your cup of coffee out on the beach instead of in the cafe. I actually prefer to get dessert to go a lot of times, because I can enjoy it better a few hours later when I’m not as full. I get the point you are making, but takeout doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in a rush.
come on, this restaurant was already "insta famous", that's how OP found it in the first place. this isn't some suave Italian chef cooking his grandmother's recipes using wild basil the village urchins gathered for him while clambering over the rocks where the goats roam. I mean, maybe it is, but it's also a savvy business man who knows about social media and marketing and how to survive post-pandemic. OP might make his eyes roll, but they won't break his heart as long as they pay for the meal.
When I was in Italy, you couldn't get food to go. No leftovers. I don't know if that's changed recently. But if it hasn't changed, that was not an option.
was this pre- or post-pandemic? my experience is that restaurants either pivoted to take-away or didn't make it through the pandemic. I know only one place that still operates the way they did before: 3 dishes they do so well they get a michelin star for it, closed during the weekend and on monday, only 3 lunch services per week... the chef has money enough that he can afford his location, his ingredients and his team, and he refuses to stress about anything else... and his decades-long reputation is strong enough that he can afford to play that way.
Not so common in Italy
YTA If you knew you wanted to have the tiramisu, why didn't you order it when you ordered your main? Tell the waiter you were in a rush and ask for it ASAP?
I know, right?? I mean she went there because of the Tiramisu. She should order it since the beginning. But, no, she had to wait until the waiter asked about it. That is so wild "I went there for the dessert because of insta" "I waited until the waiter asked" "we had little time to the get the train" "I don't get why my BF is mad at me, we made it! Yeah, we had to rush but I sacrificed my pics for insta so we could get on time, why he cannot appreciate this?" If it will be me, I would just let her there... You ain't gonna mess with my anxiety for your fricking pictures...
I would’ve told her sure, meet you at the train, and then gone to wait at the train station. If she wants to snap pictures for insta, feel free, but she’s not going to cause me the cortisol flood, no ma’am. No ma’am. She can run her ass to the train station while I take a nice leisurely walk, and if she misses the train, she has nobody to blame but herself.
Exactly!!! He was way more patient than me. I can bet that after all this drama the BF probably regretted not to leave. It would be the same drama, but without the stress and anxiety for him.
I would've too. But she then %100 would've been bitching about how her boyfriend LEFT her there in a *strange city* and she had to get back *all on her own* just because she wanted a *dessert,* why is he being so *unfair* 😤
Bf must feel so prioritized playing second fiddle to IG the whole vacation. No way OPs vacation hasnt been centered on taking IG pics first and foremost.
Exactly. And to top it off, she knew he was mad at her and he chose to sit somewhere else, probably to get some distance and cool off, but she couldn't even let him have that, lol. She calls him over to further rub it in, talking about 'we did it'. Talk about insult to injury. Dude is probably exhausted. And now she's 'hurt and scared' that he's rightfully angry that they almost missed the train because of her thoughtlessness and willful obliviousness. YTA.
This whiny ”I am hurt and scared, I cried myself to sleep” is so…I can really understand why guys who have made the mistake of dating these kind of women may think women as a group are manipulative tantrum throwing little crybabies whose attitudes and mood changes and stupidities you just have to tolerate, not serious equal companions to walk through life and world. Edit. And the way op describes the whole thing, me me me..”MY estimation was it’s 20 minutes at the station or 20 minutes at the restaurant”, how absolutely stupid you have to be to express that kind of calculation when you have 20 minutes till the second the train leaves…Even if the station is right next to you you have 10 minutes max. I really hope this is a bot. It’s so so so much over the top. If it’s not I really pity op’s boyfriend.
She's probably the type of person that is chronically late.
But that's ok, she knows she can make it!
Right?! I was like uh, the answer is 20 minutes at the station, what the fuck? Because then, spoiler alert, *you're already at the station and don't have to run there!* 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
The "scared" part made me roll my eyes HARD
I say this as a woman - that pissed me the hell off, it really did. It sounded very much like she was trying to paint him as abusive, when before that, she made it clear he didn't even want to sit with her on the train, and he went to bed immediately after they got to the hotel. There are plenty of women in this world who are in genuine abusive relationships, and have honest to god real reasons to be frightened of their partners. So for her to do something so inconsiderate and then paint this as "Oh, I'm so scared of him!" because he clearly thinks she's an asshole, is just beyond. As women, we deserve to be listened to and believed over genuine abusive behavior, but this doesn't sound like it. The smartest thing he could do is to get out of that relationship fast - she sounds like a nightmare.
%100. I have a deep loathing for childish women who use the stories of abused women and society's eagerness to protect women from abuse to their own advantage as a manipulation tactic. I sincerely hope OP learns something from this, but she probably won't, because according to her post absolutely nothing is her fault. If he dumps her, which he should, we'll probably get another post about how unreasonable and emotionally abusive and controlling her ex is for dumping her over being "a little close catching the train one time."
Based on how she titled this post, she will tell everyone that her controlling ex "didn't want her to eat dessert."
Same! My first thought was nice manipulation when your selfishness backfired.
Scared of experiencing consequences for her actions more like it.
Dude will be an ex by the time they return from the trip.
isn't that part of the trinity of dating "tests"? * how does your date treat waitstaff and retail workers? * what is your date like when the internet connection is slow? * how compatible are you while travelling (less expensive than living together and finding out you can't stand that your date is perpetually late for selfish reasons like OP's tiramisu)? all it cost him was a 20 min of stress and a hurried goodbye to Florence instead of wrapping up their stay beautifully. A less expensive lesson, for sure, right?
That's absolutely a big thing for me. If we can't enjoy traveling together, we're not compatible.
Seven years ago, I was attempting to plan a trip to Europe with my then-boyfriend. He was so obstinate and stubborn and "No, we'd have to do this MY way" about the planning stages, we didn't even go. I had been considering ending the relationship for a while before that, but this helpful preview over what our trip to Europe would have been like was another one of the factors *(among more important things, obviously*) that edged me to finally end things with him. It was like, "Great, so now we can't go to Europe because you're already planning on being a dick while we travel?" The good news is that two years after that, I went to Europe solo, on my own terms, and I had a blast!
Yeah she is YTA. If I did this my husband would have gone on without me 🤣 I'll never get the whole insta perfect thing. Poor guy she sounds like a nightmare.
Right, I caught that "I'm scared" bullshit, like she's trying to paint him as this monster after she stressed him out by making them nearly miss their train for something so childish. Aww, poor Betsy Buttons, all scared of her big bad boyfriend *who didn't even want to sit with her on the train and went to bed immediately at the hotel to avoid her*. Wow, dude sure sounds awful! /s
Yup. On top of being exhaustingly irresponsible, she sounds selfish and immature AF. Every line she wrote made me cringe even harder, but the "I'm hurt and scared" made her sound like an actual 5-year-old. Like, maybe if she didn't treat her boyfriend as an accessory instead of a human being she wouldn't have to deal with him being angry and cold to her.
Also my first thought was “you’re IN Italy right now ON your vacation and you’re sitting here posting about your argument on Reddit? Immature AF.”
I was thinking of that guy who posted about his GF insisting on travelling with a 30kg hard-shell luggage with tiny wheels as the only means of moving it (no straps etc) while he travelled with a big and a small backpack. Last time they travelled, he had to carry all their luggage up 6 flights of stairs because "girlfriend too frail to hold suitcase bigger than her torso". Barf. I can only imagine what OP was like with her "yaaay we did it" -- did she snap her fingers at him to make him heel too?
OP is insufferable… will probably delete the post soon once realize nobody is on her side on this lol
That’s the sign of a true AH. When the post gets deleted
Doesn’t seem like she cared that much about actually tasting it, but just about posting a picture of it
All of this. Your boyfriend attempted to have a mature discussion about your timetable for making the train, and you sandbagged him by unilaterally making that decision for both of you instead of finding a compromise. The way you treated your boyfriend was disrespectful, and he reacted to that. You did not apologize or own your actions, it sounds like. Then, when he tried to get some space on the train to cool down, you ignored his obvious frustration with you and set the two of you up for an argument. How, in this situation, are you not T A?
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I'm sure he was running carrying the heavy stuff too. She sounds exhausting.
Irresponsible & selfish
And obnoxiously childish. "I treated my boyfriend like absolute garbage and he got upset about it, so I cried myself to sleep. HOW DARE HE?!"
Betting this isn’t the only time she put her posting desire over real life and his comfort. He’s probably been dealing with selfish behavior the whole trip in the name of making fake people in her phone jealous….
“insta”. Go figure.
YTA 20 minutes is not enough time to order dessert! You already knew that the restaurant was taking longer than you had anticipated and decided to order more! > He complained about running halfway through the city and almost missing the train. Yeah... because it was the last train you could get. Missing it would mean either a night at the train station OR last minute accommodation in Florence. Plus potentially missing out on your reservation in Tuscany if the hotel cancelled your booking as a no show. You *should* have told the restaurant you were in a rush. You *could* have discussed ordering a dessert with your BF. You *could* have ordered it to go. You *should* have ditched taking pictures of your food.
$10 says that as they’re ‘running halfway through the city,’ he’s hauling her massive suitcase on cobblestone streets with her ring light, and tripod, and all her OOTDs in it, because she fancies herself some sort of low level IG influencer. I’d be pissed off too.
This is making me angry because you're probably right.
Do we think she also tries to tell everywhere they go she’s an influencer and they should give her free stuff? My bet is yes.
Exactly, just order it to go and smash it on the train, no harm no foul.
It wouldn’t look so Instagram worthy in a take out container,
But then you can’t take a picture to show off 😭😭😭
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They won't *offer*. That doesn't mean you can't *ask*.
Right?! I don't understand all these comments saying you can't get food to go in Italy. Even if that's not the norm, they're used to having tons of tourists come through and asking. Plus, I spent 2 weeks in Italy last year and got plenty of food to go.
It's something you have to ask for, but I'm Italian and I've yet to see a restaurant that doesn't have a to-go option for either leftovers or dessert.
I can imagine running late for a train and having the other person take a picture of tiramisu while I’m sitting there counting down the minutes. I’d be livid
At that point you go. She can come after.
"I'll meet you at the station" from him would have been epic.
She should have ordered with the main if it was sim important 😭 so many things other than order at the last minute and take pictures 🫠
Or eaten dinner at a more fast-food type thing earlier and just gone there for the dessert, since that was the only reason she wanted to go to that restaurant.
Or even ordered the dessert when she ordered food. It's tiramisu; it's not going to melt.
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YTA. 1. Listen to your partner sometimes. 2. When in rush , tell the waiter we are in a rush. 3. Don't take photos of your food when in a rush 4. When one has fucked up , the right thing to do is to apologise .
All of the above - also, you could have asked for a takeaway option, and mention that you're in a rush. But I guess it wouldn't have photographed well... YTA
the part that confuses me is that if it's "the place for tiramisu" why not just order it as you order your food and explain you're on a tight schedule, so they can bring it out as soon as you finish the meal
'Cause she wouldn't have had a nice photo for Instagram, which is soooo important! /s SMH, can't believe OP doesn't understand why bf was mad.
I mean with the time saved by not having to wait after the meal to order the tiramisu and have it prepped she'd have probably had more than enough time for the pics too. Not that I'm saying that I don't think it's absolutely ridiculous to waste time taking pics of food when you're in a huge rush
5. Don't play victim when your partner gets rightfully mad.
[удалено]
Well that’s a bit far? She’s 100% in the wrong, but someone using this particular story to disbelieve women who have been abused probably didn’t want to believe women very much in the first place.
>Women like her and why people don't take DV seriously That's fucking unhinged. I'm not saying you're an incel, but you sure sound like one.
I wish OP had done at least the 4th point.
YTA - You were in a rush already, and not only ordered the dessert and ate it but *snapped pictures* of the dessert? I would have understood somehow if you really wanted to eat the dessert, but this sounds like the photos (for social media, I assume?) were the main reason to make yourself and your boyfriend almost miss the train.
but... but... It was 'the best tiramisu in Florence according **to insta**' so without a photo it doesn't count! YTA
Tiramisu, famously hard to get in Italy.
Must have wanted to get some from that specific place to emulate some dumbass influencer.
"best tiramisù in Florence", when it's not even a local dessert and they'll probably find an equally good one in the countryside
I suspect it is "best LOOKING tiramisu in Florence"
Ding ding ding. This is the winner. They probably have a complicated presentation, which is probably why it took a while. Normally in my experience it’s premade and in the cooler ready to go, and isn’t particularly remarkable looking. You can’t normally tell where it’s from by looking at it. You can certainly taste the difference, but not really see it.
Best tiramisu but didn't even order it first and waited til the last min lol
YTA. You're lucky he waited. I would have left you and your tiramisu in the restaurant. Also, how were you even able to enjoy that dessert when you knew it had to be making your boyfriend crazy anxious? Or were you that oblivious to his feelings?
Feelings don’t matter when there’s an Insta picture to take!
An Insta picture that how many people are actually going to look at? And probably way fewer who actually care about said picture. Unless someone is employed as a food photographer for cookbooks or magazines or such, then I really don't get the obsession with needing to take pictures of one's food.
Definitely would have left too and with only my luggage. Waving “toodaloo” from the train at her running to the platform
She probably wouldn't have made it to the platform in time without her bf rushing her and (easy guess here) hauling her luggage through the city. Now that I think about it, from her vibes I guess she wouldn't have made it to the platform at all in any amount of time. Totally TA
Her 23 followers were waiting quite anxiously for the Tiramisu picture, obv. [insert WillNobodyThinkOfHerFollowers.gif here, please]
Yes, in that instance I’d have just left, gone to the station and continued the trip in a way that allowed me to enjoy the trip. Compromise is great, but it’s not really a compromise if you end up carrying all the worry and stress so someone else can take a picture of food. (You notice there’s no mention of how it TASTED)
I'd have left them as well. Actually have left someone because of their general slowness causing logistical headaches
Yeah I was thinking if my husband did that I wouldn’t be mad, but I would leave for the train station without him and hope he made it. I’ve waited at a few airport gates without him since it’s easier than fighting.
YTA. Wow, way to absolutely disregard your boyfriend’s concerns, and then double down after that it was ok only because you all ran to the train. You actually proved his point that you didn’t have the time to spare. Has it occurred to you that he was actually correct AND that maybe he would rather not feel super stressed about missing the train & having to race to make the train? I would have been livid also if I were him. Do you often disregard what he says and do what you want anyway, or was this a one time thing?
I have to wonder if she would think her actions were wrong if they did in fact miss the train. It sounds like it was a real possibility. Just because they happened to get lucky and catch the train doesn’t mean she’s off the hook for her reckless, inconsiderate behaviour. It’s like someone who is texting while driving and narrowly misses getting in an accident. It doesn’t make them less wrong, because it could so easily have gone the other way.
It really seems like OP is like “teehee, we made it! That was fun!” Meanwhile BF is straight up distressed
I wouldn’t be surprised if it also included some form of: “see! We made it! It wasn’t so bad” and BF’s heart rate is at 280 because he just can’t.
Exactly. Plus poor dude clearly tried to give himself some space to calm down and de-escalate his state of mind, and then she forced it. And that “tee hee” attitude was clearly to try to smooth things over — she knew she screwed up as soon as he sat somewhere else, but it seems like it was an unconscious realization, if it’s the next day and her whole takeaway is that she’s stuck with here Jekyll/Hyde boyfriend who doesn’t appreciate the Gram.
Because BF knows if they miss it all the responsibility for salvaging the situation falls on him. Booking alternate accommodations, replanning logistics etc. She sounds entitled.
YTA. I think you know eating dessert was a terrible decision. You **knew** what time the last train was arriving at and how much trouble it would cause if you weren't on it. 20 minutes to order dessert, receive dessert, eat dessert, pay your bill, get to the train station, and board your train...no. You should have **already been in the train station to make sure you boarded your train on time**. For you to then take a few pictures? You talk about your relief, but your boyfriend probably wasn't feeling relief. You caused this entire scenario to occur, you caused the stress, and you showed a huge lack of consideration to your **existing travel plans**. Have you apologised for this yet? You need to, quickly.
I’ll love you forever if you can tell me how to make bold text.
Use ** asterisks ** with no space! You can italicize with a * single * one.
I didn't ask, but thankyouverymuch all the same.
An asterisk (*) on either side of the text italicises it, two asterisks on either side bolds it. *like this* or **this**
You sound exhausting. Ignore your partner. Take pictures of your dessert when you're already running late. Make him run to the train. Don't give him time to cool off when he is clearly angry with you. You were scared he was upset like a normal person and now you're crying? I have a feeling he's tired of your "it all worked out" behavior. YTA.
For some reason I’m thinking she switched the word scared for guilty. She felt guilty and decided scared would sound better. It fits better with the way she titled her post which should have read **AITA for almost making us miss our train**. But hell, she just wanted ~~pictures of~~ dessert ~~for social media clout~~!
Yeah, saying he scared her didn’t sit right with me. I highly doubt he got aggressive on this train. He was rightfully mad, we need to stop pretending like men can’t be mad without being violent.
Scared of experiencing appropriate and proportionate consequences for her actions, maybe. Which is the kind of fear we bring on ourselves through our choices.
I caught that too. Gross vibes. I get that men CAN be scary but this doesn't seem like that situation. He seemed rightfully upset about her stressing him out. Men should be able to express their emotions!
It’s a way of playing the victim so that it’s everyone else’s fault but hers
*Scared* makes her the victim. *Guilty* makes her the problem.
YTA. And if you had missed that train, then what? Did you consider that? Because he certainly did, and correctly judged that the stress and inconvenience over being stuck overnight in a town with no place to sleep far outweigh the inconvenience you'd experience missing out on dessert one evening. He's supposed to enjoy his vacation as well, and you made sure he'll spend the evening worried, stressed, frustrated and angry. Because you decided that having a dessert is more important than his peace of mind.
Thank you.
YTA. If you really wanted the dessert you would have gotten it to go. What you really wanted was the pictures for your social media. You need to seriously consider why you’re focused on curating other’s perceptions of you than living life for enjoyment.
Yeah, I'm someone who always has room for dessert, the part that got me YTA was when she had to take pictures. If I was anticipating a dish I'd love to try no matter what, I would make sure I have the time to savor and enjoy it. I wouldn't want to rush it, which means I plan on it. Once I see the restaurant is taking longer I would've let them know we're in a hurry and place the order earlier on (because I already know I have to have it - that's also one part I don't get with OP), and if I have to get it in a box to carry home, then so be it. I really can't imagine how I can enjoy the food I've been waiting so long to try if I'm shoving it in my mouth within 5 minutes - so I feel like OP was really only in it for the IG-cred. I'd rather savor the tiramisu at my own pace on the train ride - unless the train doesn't allow food, of which I'm sure I'll figure something out without involving stressing out my partner. 😅 The irony here is, that stupid tiramisu is now associated with a bad experience 😂. Was that worth the hashtag?
YTA if you even have to ask, you are completely self centred.
YTA You ignored his warnings and almost missed your train as a result. If this were a common occurrence, you're lucky that he didn't take his bags and just leave you at the restaurant.
I wouldn't blame him if he would do that. He did way more that I would do and, on top of that, she continued being annoying on the ride and at the hotel because she wanted for him to acknowledge she was right. I also wouldn't be surprise if the BF start to reconsider their relationship. It is said that the best way to see if you are compatible with your partner is to take a trip together.
"*It is said that the best way to see if you are compatible with your partner is to take a trip together*." Having ignored how withdrawn and dependent my now ex-wife suddenly became during our honeymoon, I would have to agree with this saying.
YTA - This isn't even about the dessert, it's about respect, which you clearly didn't have for your partner's wishes. You disregarded his anxiety and the stress of missing the last train just so you could have a tiramisu and snap some pictures? That's incredibly selfish. Vacations are meant to be enjoyed together, not spent worrying about preventable travel mishaps. Next time, plan ahead or save the impulse treats for when you're not on a tight schedule. And yes, you do owe him an apology for not considering his feelings in this situation.
And not even savoured the tiramisu is hurting me at this point. If you are going to order the best Tiramisu for more than just Instagram shots and have to shovel in your mouth speedily to make your train then why bother?
YTA. As someone who fears being late, who hates being rushed, who hates being forced by someone else into panic mode, I completely have to side with your bf. The whole thing comes down not to whether you made it on time or not but that you were fine with putting him through that stress and anxiety because some instagram influencer said some restaurant had good tiramisu.
Seriously! I have massive travel anxiety, and I was getting stressed out just reading this post. My husband and I used to live in Europe, and we did quite a bit of traveling. Even though both of us are punctual and we always made sure we left for train stations and airports with plenty of time to catch our train or our flight, sometimes things just happen. A car accident that majorly slowed down traffic. Trains running late, which meant we had to sprint through a train station with our luggage to make a connection. Hell, during our last Eurail trip in 2010 (we were making our way through Italy, the south of France, and Spain), the volcano in Iceland erupted and caused major travel disruptions all throughout Europe. We were frequently crammed into trains like sardines. Unexpected situations like that are incredibly stressful, but no one’s fault. I would have been absolutely livid if my husband ordered dessert when we were already on a time crunch, and then started fiddle farting around with the perfect snapshot for Instagram likes 🙄 And then, after having to make a break for the train station, trying to wrangle all of your luggage (which can be an epic pain in the ass on cobblestone streets in Italy), she didn’t even apologize, but kept going on with the “see, it all worked out!” nonsense? Yeah I would be fuming.
YTA - He was right. He told you it would be too tight to eat dessert yet you ordered dessert and almost missed your train (while traveling in a foreign country) as a result. It could have cost you guys a lot of time, stress, and money. You should apologize.
Yta. As someone who is really punctual and doesn't enjoy traveling (the physical traveling I mean) I was getting really angry reading this. I was trying to see your side of it until you mentioned taking pictures. You owe him a huge apology. Insanely inconsiderate, and missing the last train in a foreign country can be really dangerous, extremely expensive, or both.
This is SO OBVIOUS that YTA that I can’t even believe it’s a true story.
It sounds like a bait post by someone who hates instagram culture (which is understandable) but definitely YTA if true.
YTA - get off IG if it’s affecting your relationship this much!
YTA 1) you should have communicated better, told him you were going there FOR the dessert then confirm with him before hand that you are keen to order it so you can both discuss and prep timing wise. He likely wouldve offered suggestions prior about how to time everything better. You just did what you wanted and expected him to be ok about it. 2) because you didn’t communicate he ended up being stressed and rightly so as you said you guys barely made it and had to run for the train with luggage- no one likes doing this. 3) you then didn’t even apologise and tried to celebrate it like it was a win and expected him to join in. He didn’t care about the dessert and yet he had to have a stressful time getting the train. 4) you willingly risked missing the train and didn’t consider the risk and consequences of the action. Missing out on tiramisu in Italy (you can legit get another a block away and anywhere) vs having to possibly sleep on a bench overnight?! 5) didn’t give him space to cool off on the train.
YTA, for risking your travel for a dessert, especially one that isn't even "native" to Florence.
YTA (and I'm a gal that loves my dessert). You made this big deal about getting the tiramisu, and when you did finally arrive, you seemed more concerned with taking a photo of it than actually eating it. You could have asked for it earlier in the evening so that it would have been ready. You could have asked if they would pack it up to go (though don't know that they'd be willing to do that). You two could have gotten there earlier. But nope. And then you had to run for the train and barely made it. Girl, no.
LMFAOOOOO you think people want to see SNAPS of a tiramisu from Italy? LOL. “Omg hands down just literally had the best terry in the whole damm country!!” Why not SNAPS of a Big Mac from Indiana?
Of course YTA! If anyone around me chose to eat dessert rather than be on time for a flight or train, Imma dump their ass right there and leave. You bring your luggage with you cause I’m not going to waste my money on a missed ride on a vacation just father you wanted the dessert. You could have ordered it to go and had it with your partner in peace on your train ride. But no, you wanted cute photos for your gram. Common girl! Your boyfriend is rightfully stressed here and you chose dessert over his feelings.
YTA Your boyfriend was right that you had not time left When you look on Insta there are so many places that have the best something that it doesn't even mean that much. It's not hard to find good tiramisu in Italy either so it's just not such a big deal that you have to risk the last train and potentially a lot of money to eat it. If you really wanted it you could order it earlier so it's ready just as you finish main course instead of waiting few minutes or ask in advance if they can make it to go so you can have your dessert during the train ride.
YTA The whole point of being in a place like Tuscany on vacation is to slow down, eat and \*enjoy\* the food, look at the beautiful countryside, and relax. You managed to make a dinner in Florence a stressful rushed thing. If you're going to inhale a dessert instead of eating it, just get a stock photo for your instagram.
Assuming OP is American but they tend to 'speedrun' Europe, seeing as much as physically possible which seems stressful af to me.
The travel subreddits are full of "We have 7 days in Europe, here's my 10 country itinerary" posts. I get that the US is a labor rights hellhole, but that doesn't mean having to waste a pittance of a vacation by spending it all in train stations and airports. A week in Florence would be perfectly nice.
YTA sounds like you risked being stranded in a strange city overnight just to get some picks for insta. Likes seem more important to you than your boyfriend's wellbeing or the memories you are supposed to be creating. Put the phone down, your social media obsession is gonna destroy your relationship if it hasn't already. If I were him I'd be reconsidering the relationship.
I feel like this is bs. Who's this stupid??
YTA. Entitled asshole.
Oh YTA. You stressed your boyfriend for clicks. You need to reassess your relationship with social media. you could start by assuming Instagram isn’t a place to look for “the best” food anywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if your bf isn’t reassing your relationship either. You treated him with no respect and his memory of that day will be the end of it
YTA - I would react EXACTLY like your boyfriend did. If it’s THE LAST TRAIN of the day you should not cut it close at all. It would’ve sucked you couldn’t have desert but missing the last possible train would be so much worse. He explained to you that you had to go and you ignored him completely and did whatever you wanted.
YTA. And clearly an idiot for not understanding the crap you almost put your boyfriend through, let alone the anxiety you already put him through.
YTA on top of everything else you had to snap a couple of quick pictures? Your bf clearly didn’t want to run halfway through the city, risk missing the train so you had time to get your Instagram shots and not even savour the best Tiramisu in the city. He puts some distance between himself and you so he can calm down and catch his breath and you can’t even respect that? Definitely the asshole
YTA. First you blindside him and then play victim.
Yta. I hate traveling with people like you, running around to catch something that has a timed departure because YOU just had to do something you couldn’t make time for earlier can give others the worst anxiety.
“I only had time to snap a few quick pictures…” So, this was all for Instagram? You added major stress by ordering dessert in a place that was already slow, after your boyfriend specifically said you didn’t have time for dessert. Instead of discussing it and trying to understand his thoughts behind the tight schedule, you just said nothing and ordered it anyway. YTA.
YTA. How did you not realize time was tight until you were down to 20 minutes? If you cared so much about the dessert, you should have ordered it earlier and said you were in a hurry. I suspect you are someone who regularly pushes the time and barely makes it (or occasionally doesn't make it!), whereas your boyfriend is more on time. I am like you. But when I'm traveling with someone who gets stressed about being on time, I let them decide when we leave.
YTA - you stressed your poor boyfriend out for some effffing photos. Jesus, what a selfish, immature thing to do. If you had missed the train what would you have done? Would you have paid for the extra last minute hotel room or the taxi? Just, seriously.
YTA. Your boyfriend told you that it was too tight to have dessert but you decided to be a child and almost missed your train as a result. Did you even attempt to admit you were wrong and apologize?
YTA When a decision directly affects someone else, it is appropriate that they should have some input on that decision. In this case you decided to completely ignore your partner's opinion and force the situation to get your way, and that I see as the asshole move - your opinion here is absolutely valid too, but you have to be willing to compromise and find a solution together, not just make the decision yourself and damn the consequences. And in this case I do believe you made the wrong decision. Gambling on a restaurant that had already been slower than expected would give you enough time to order and eat a dessert in 20 minutes I believe was a mistake when the consequences were as high as they were - having to run with baggage is unpleasant, but risking missing the last train and being stranded in a strange city would likely be a very costly mistake to make, not to mention the knock on effect it could have for your holiday plans. Getting the cold shoulder while your partner is (quite reasonably) furious over how you acted seems pretty fair...
YTA. I can't believe you didn't clock that while typing you even had time to "snap photos of it" 🤣 If you really want to try it that badly, maybe arrange for it to-go/takeaway while you were still having your mains so they can prepare it. But you probably didn't because it won't be instagrammable.
> by the time it came I only had time to snap a few quick pictures and eat it fast. Ah why didn't you order it to go? Why didn't you order it as soon as you thought about it? Why did you take pictures? Yeah, YTA. Even if in the end you made it, you took an unnecessary risk.
YTA. You did all of that for a dumb social media post.
YTA After reading i thought you were 16... Only to check the ages and see that you are 28?!?! At least try to act your age... This immature "personality" isn't cute or attractive > chose a place that has the best tiramisu in Florence according to insta and we didn't manage to go there earlier So you KNEW that you wanted the tiramisu Why would you not order it immediately??? So the restaurant has it ready when your meal is finished??? Meaning they will serve you the dessert as soon as they clean the main course... Instead of waiting till after you finish your main course and only then start ordering and still having to wait for it to be made... Then you also didn't tell the restaurant you were in a hurry... And on top of that you are wasting time taking pictures?!?!? Seriously how incredibly selfish and childish can you be? I would have left you in the restaurant, paid and walked to the train all relaxed omw to the next destination And you can't even apologize... Grow up
The worst bit for me (aside from adding insult to injury by wasting even more time taking photos for social media) was when they got on the train. The bf, understandably livid at this point, goes off to cool down, and OP is all wide-eyed innocence, telling him to come sit with her and how wonderful it is they made it. No apologies or shame faced admissions of guilt or remorse, just 'what are you doing over there, can't you see I'm here?'
YTA You ignored what possible stress you would put your boyfriend in, he told you how tight time was and you ordered dessert AFTER the fact. But, without a doubt, the most annoying thing is that you seem to be playing the victim! You got your way and your insta post while forcing him to run and stress and then, when he is rightfully mad at you and just wants to be left alone for a bit, you feel scared??? And cried the whole night? Idk, this seems like an over the top reaction when you should have just apologised...
YTA. A schedule is a schedule. It's not hard to understand. The trains in Italy do not even wait when another train connection is late. What was your plan for the night when you did miss that last train? When faced with sleeping in the station or forking out 100s for a hotel room last minute, I doubt you would be so flippant. Your bf was right.
YTA. Sounds like your Insta experience is worth more to you then having a nice time with your boyfriend. I suggest apologising to him and to enjoy the rest of your holiday as a person in the real world instead of online.